The Archer(Lady/moon)

he snorted at her. "you have the same sense of humor as Tony." he insulted, looking quite pleased with himself for it before he smirked at her. "you just want me to hide Chocolate here so you can steal it all. i'm on to you, sneaky sneak." he stated, wiggling his fingers at her.

"what!? it's a CHOCOLATE TREE!" he complained. "that keeps growing! i'll never run out again!" he pointed out. "i highly doubt she'd be willing to let you make her a bow. her's is... different. it's not like normal designs." Clint admitted before shrugging. "i'd go tot he dark side for a chocolate chip cookie." he had before. he'd eaten the cookie and then stabbed them in the foot. of course he'd been suffering from a Loki prank at the time and had been all of four years old, in appearance at any rate so they'd forgiven him for that. "i've eaten bugs!?" James demanded of Natasha, looking horrified and Clint blinked at him. "uh. Nat? i think your Boyfriend has a concussion." he pointed out. "he has a nasty egg on the back of his head there." "hey Nat? i think i ate a bug that was bad for me." James warned before he leaned over and hurled all over his own shoes before looking quite angry that he had done such a thing. "oh that's really gross." thank god Loki wasn't there.

"...i think i'l pass. and the arrow wasn't going to hit me. i am well aware of Barton's exploding arrows by now." he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "well i live to serve." Loki scoffed, sneering at her. she knew him well enough to know he was more amused than anything else. "oh?" Loki asked, a sly grin curling his lips. "are we playing with Victor? do tell?" he asked, settling net to her. Victor, the stupid, foolish man he was, thought that Loki was one of his allies, Victor Doom so very stupidly thought that he could control Loki. Victor would be sour about being turned into a child for a few days but forgive him when Loki 'helped' him with some magic spell to make his crappy robots better. he loved fucking with Victor more than he did the Avengers and that was saying something.
 
“You are such a addict. I’m going to find a clinic to check you into.”Natasha rolled her eyes a little even if she looked amused. “Yes she will. Everyone likes my bows. eVen you and you’re stubborn ass about not accepting changes.”Tony wrinkled his nose a little before shaking his head. “Not to doom’s side. I doubt even chocolate would be worth that relationship.” “Yes?”Natasha said smirking at how horrified he looked. “Just chocolate covered ants. On that trip to France. Why did you think I didn’t tell you what they were?”She said before wincing, sharing at him, before shifting, raising a hand sighing quietly. “Dammit, no that’s the concussion Jamie.”She muttered wincing as he threw up, glad that they were back at the tower. “Come on. It was gross, but you’re going to go lay down now, and let Bruce take care of you without protesting to much.”She said heading for the medlab.

“...Well. I don’t know what to tell you then, I just felt the urge to knock it out the sky.”She shrugged a little, because she didn’t always understand teh urge but followed it most of the time. Rolling her eyes as she knew he was amused despite the show of anger. “We are. Doom thinks he can seduce his way into beating the avengers. Foolishly he forgets that you are very protective of their time, and wants me to deal with Barton to screw with them. Apparently, he hasn’t made the connection yet that I do nothing really for his benefit.”She wrinkled her nose before getting up. “Anyways, apparently, one of your chocolate trees has been kept alive by a addict. I’ve been offered chocolate, and if I get to screw with both Barton and Doom’s heads at the same time, I’ll enjoy it.”She said, playing the good little sociopath, and not liking the twist in her stomach at the idea of playing tricks on Clint.
 
he smirked, looking oddly victorious. "oh Natasha tried that already. they told her that they don't cover Chocolate addictions and that she should be glad i'm not addicted to peeps. the look on her face. awesome.... i paid for it though..." he admitted, sulking. "i stopped talking to her for a month because she managed to find and hide all of my chocolate." he admitted. "that's why i have the tree. she doesn't know where it is." he said, looking victorious. "so she can't keep me from it! wow... maybe i do have a problem..." "...oh my god i ate ants. the weren't that bad. kind of peppery." he admitted before shaking his head. "no, no. i'm a super soldier, we can't get concussions. i'm sure it's from the bugs. now i've puked i'll be fine." he assured her. "i don't need to see Bruce!" he complained again, Clint laughing as he followed them. he'd talk to Val again tomorrow. he was tired ad he wanted to work on his secrete proect a little bit more before bed. he was almost finished. so close really.

Loki shrugged. "perhaps you and the birdbrain are supposed to have an interaction." he mused. "it certainly gained his attention. he almost didn't even see me leave. he has become quite obsessed with you all of a sudden, it is extremely amusing." he admitted before smirking a little. "he has yet to realize that my magic is the reason his metal men keep dying so i'm not surprised." he admitted before blinking a little. "he managed to keep one of my trees alive? that is impressive." he admitted. "they require a lot of work actually. he must be there for hours ever week tending to the thing." he admitted. "they cannot be too cold or too warm, they need to be properly tripped, their leaves have to be plucked when the foliage gets too thick, they must have a feeding source of some kind." Loki shook his head. "now i'm curious. what do you plan on doing to the tree?" he wondered. even he didn't want to see the thing destroyed if Clint had manged to keep it alive for over six months. most of the trees died and became normal again after only a week.
 
“You deserved it. You were calmer for that month.”Natasha said looking amused. “I’m sure I could figure out where your tree is if I tried.”She threatened, though she wouldn’t actually do anything about the tree. “Just be glad she didn’t feed you frog legs and snails.”Tony said smiling a little. “You can to get concussions. And you’re going to go see Bruce.”Natasha said smiling as they walked in. “Sit.”Bruce ordered already moving over to look at james head, shining the light in his eyes, smiling a little relieved as while his eyes focused slowly, they did. “A mild concussion. You should be fine by morning. Natasha, you know how to take care of a concussion.” “Yea. We’ll be okay.”

“Hm, maybe. And he’s obsessed with my arrows and bow, not with me. He’s just curious.”Val shrugged a little though she looked amused and interested in the idea, before snickering. “It amuses me that he’s supposed to be a super genius, but can be this stupid.”She said shaking her head a little before frowning, thinking about it. “Yea, he said he did. And it’s in the sewer.”She said before smirking, hitting the print button on the picture she’d been looking for, and placing it in a frame. “Nothing to the tree. He said I could go get some chocolate from it, so I’m going to. Then I’m going to leave this as a present, since he seemed so freaked out at the idea.”She smirked holding up the picture of doom making out with one of his own bots. Which was one of the more disturbing things she’d seen during her time with the villian. Smiling as she headed for the door. “Let’s go.”
 
"i did not deserve it and i wasn't calmer!" he whined before shrugging. "you probably could. but you won't." he stated simply. if only because she didn't want to deal with a Clint going through withdrawal ever again. he had made her life hell once she had hidden all his chocolate. "i've eaten those on my own. both me and Steve. Frog legs aren't bad. snails are... bad." James admitted with a wobbly smile, frowning a little when he was ordered around. "you can't boss me! i'm Captain America!" amusingly enough, this was something he only ever said when he had a concussion or a hangover.still, he settled into the chair easily enough and let Bruce do the exam and then whined to Natasha that 'see i didn't need to see Bruce at all! he didn't even poke me you worry wart.' Clint just snickered and settled into his room so he could focus on what he was doing. he was pretty sure the others would freak if they saw him stroking an animal pelt.

Loki looked at her, amused. "i think you are not giving enough credit to yourself or to Clinton." he pointed out. "and you are clearly giving Doom entirely too much credit." he pointed out, shaking his head. "no one ever claimed Doom was a genius, he's just good at building shiny metal men. how does this indicate he's smart in any way?" he wondered. "the sewers?" he asked, looking horrified. "you want me to go into the sewers?!" he asked, shaking his head before watching her play with her silly human technology. "if i ruin my boots, you are paying for new ones." he ordered. he frowned, a bit confused where she was going with this before recoiling away from the picture as if it had tried to bite him. "oh GOD! Woman! what the hell!?" Loki complained. "i just threw up in my mouth a little bit!" he complained, making sure the picture was turned away before he followed her, shaking his head. "why am i going with you now? this seams a simple enough process."
 
“Probably not. You’re as bad as tony going through withdrawal.”Natasha said snickering a little. Biting her lip to keep from cooing over her boyfriend, even if it made her worry about him like this, it was quite cute to see him whine and wobble a little. “If you ever want to have sex again, you’ll do what I say.”Natasha said rolling her eyes a little as she got him back to their rooms, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Rest. I’m going to go check in with Steve before bed.”She promised before heading out to find the commander, smiling slightly at the sight of him at his desk. “You know, you can have Tony put all your paperwork as electronic, instead of doing it like this.”She said shaking her head a little. “The only injury recieved this time, was james has a concussion from falling, and Tony’s going to need to look at his arm, but everyone else is fine.”She said, the habit long born of watching steve worry about his team, it was better to simply inform him about injuries after battle before he could worry to much.


”It amuses me you call him Clinton. And he sort of kills alot of people, for me, that’s more then earning credit.”Valentina pointed out smirking a little before laughing. “Because I’ve seen his test scores, he has them hanging in his office. He scored nearly as high as Stark or Richards.”Valentina snickered before nodding. “yes, yes I do. And fine, I’ll even go back to asgard and get new boots if you ruin yours, you drama queen.”Valentina rolled her eyes before laughing out loud at the other’s reaction, “I know. So will Barton. He freaked out earlier when we discussed my supposed sex life with Doom, giving him this will freak him out.”She snickered as she headed for the coordinates the other archer had given her, “Because Barton might have booby trapped the thing, and I’d rather have someone to choose besides myself to have to deal with them.”She said with that small bloodthirsty smile that said she was somewhat serious about risking his life, but mostly just jerking his chain.
 
Clint grinned at her. "yes i am." he agreed before shaking his head, watching James like this was funny as hell but if he laughed James and Natasha would hurt him so he had to stay silent. he didn't want to go see Val with a black eye or a broken nose after all. "fine." James grumbled. "but only if we can have sex tonight. because i don't have a concussion." he informed her. "i don't want to rest." he groaned,. "i want to have sex." he complained, even though he was asleep before she even made it out the door. Steve looked up at her, shoulders relaxing at the promise that everyone was alright. "great. and all the people where turned back? no one else was hurt?" he asked hopefully. he wasn't expecting too much pain and suffering from Loki anymore but he liked to be sure. "i James being overly difficult?" he knew all to well how James got when he had a concussion. the worse the concussion the more belligerent and stubborn he got.

"it amuses me too. he gets very upset about it." Loki admitted with a chuckle. Clint hated his full name, 'it's too stuffy and gross' he would often complain. "wow. humans are... stupid." Loki decided. "in any case, good at books he may be but he has no common sense at all." he scoffed, shaking his head. "good. see that you do." Loki ordered with a sniff. he really was a diva and very possessive over things like his boots and his favorite green scarf. it had gotten singed during a battle once and he left left in the middle of a fight to go and repair it. the Avengers had been very confused. "i highly doubt Barton has booby trapped it." he pointed out, not very worried in the least. h more than happily let her lead him around the sewers, using magic to spell away damp, wet, slime or dirt in front of them so they wouldn't get gross. "and this is where the Cave is supposed to be? i think you've been conned." there was nothing in front of them but a etching of a flying hawk in solid brick. it wouldn't take Val long to figure out all she had to do was push on the wall and it would swing open a section like a door with the etched eagle above and to the left. it was simple, but most people would never figure it out. inside, there was a rough carved staircase that led even further down, showing that Clint had been using this place for a good long time and tried to maintain the stairs that where carved out of the hard clay that made up the floor.

"impressive." Loki admitted, examining the cave once they hit the end of the staircase into a massive natural cave that was all lit up with Christmas lights, lanterns and whatever else Clint had felt like putting up. in the middle was the chocolate tree, small for now but certainly big enough to maintain a chocolate addiction for two people. off in the corner there where chests, yes real chests, some of them very old looking full of various piles of different kinds of money. American, Russian, German, anything an assassin might need. tables lay littered all over full of trinkets and weapons, some in good shape, some crusted and useless with age. stone arrow heads hung from what looked like it was supposed to be a chandelier. the breeze that circulated in the cave made them clink against each other like a wind-chime. there where huge baskets of feathers and talons, Hawk most likely, and another basket full of rabbit pelts, deer pelts and other such things that where nicely folded up and kept neat, rugs most likely for the winter. another large chest held huge amounts of blankets, most likely for the rather impressively large bed that looked like it had been slept in recently. everything was neat and organized and it was clear the place was pretty damn special to Clint. it wasn't just a hole in the ground where he hid his tree. this was his hideaway. his sanctuary.
 
“Okay, we can have sex later.”Natasha promised, because she knew he’d be asleep before they got there. “Sleep, sex later.”She promised amused that he indeed had fallen asleep. Looking at Steve as the man relaxed she nodded.”They did indeed turn back, the only one who fell from any sort of height, was James. And he’s not that hurt. The others might feel weird and sore from being forced into a smaller shape, but they’ll be fine.”Natasha smiled slightly. “Always. He’s demanded that we have sex tonight, even if he went to sleep before we could.”She rolled her eyes a little, before smirking. “Has tony been up yet to tell you about Clint’s namecalling yet?”

“Really?”she said tilting her head, she’d only been amused because clint just didn’t look like a Clinton, but she was going to have to tease him about it now. “No, definitely no common sense.At least the other two are intelligent enough to be okay to be around”she agreed. Rolling her eyes a little at just how much he was a diva, before smirking. “Me to, but I feel better making you walk in first, so you can die instead of me if he has.”She mused before frowning looking around, “Yes. It is.”she said looking frustrated before looking at the hawk, before pressing her hands into it, looking pleased as the door swung open. Pleased as she stepped into the rorom.

“It’s like a cross between Asgard’s treasure room and a hawk’s nest.”She frowned a little looking around, feeling odd about walking into the space, simply seeing it made her feel weird about walking into the sanctuary. Swallowing thickly as she remembered she had permission to be there before stepping over to the tree, carefully trimming a few leaves and some bark for chocolate, making sure she hadn’t actually killed it before frowning. Looking thoughtfully at the bed, before smirking to herself. Looking around she knew she’d probably regret playing this prank in a place that mattered to him but....smirking as she settled the picture onto the bed, she fussed a little, brushing the dust off a few things before looking at Loki. “Let’s get out of here.”
 
Steve chuckled a little. "i heard from a..." here he grinned. "little bird that James turned into a pigeon and shit on Tony." Clint was going to die when James and Tony found out he'd tattled. "well once he's cleared for sex i'm sure you'll ablige him." Steve teased. "or i will. depending" he admitted with a chuckle. "how are you doing? i know you worry about him." he admitted. "and with Clint trying to seduce one of Victor Von Doom's girls i want you to keep a closer eye on him. Clint get's a bit stupid sometimes when it comes to women, i don't want her slitting his throat because he called her something she didnt like." he wasn't worried at all about Clint going to go work for Doom. well, he was a little bit, but Clint would be man enough to tell them first at least.

Loki snorted. "as if the puny human would set deadly traps where anyone could waltz in. if he's set anything it's like a rope trap or a net or something." he admitted before looking at the wall, his head tilted, amazed that she knew how to do that before nodding at all the stuff. "it is rather amazing... oh wow look at this!" he told her, examining what looked like skin, paper thin skin with native American drawings on them. each protected in a glass case. "these are original. i wonder how on earth he got these?" he muttered before moving on to other real native American goodies. tomahawks, hand crafted beads from before the 'white man came'. necklaces, bracelets, pots made from clay, all of them very old. Loki didn't touch anything, worried he might shatter one even with the touch of a butterfly. "you did fine." Loki assured her, using a pen and feathery quill to commend Clint on an excellent care of the tree and giving him some tips to make it grow better, stronger and healthier faster. Clint would totally freak out when he saw it because he knew Loki's handwriting, but that was half the fun. he hummed, following her and offering her a grin. "we should move everything just slightly to the left." he was such an ass.
 
“....They’re going to kill that little birdie, but yes, he did. And then threw up on his own shoes, so he’s in a bad mood.”Natasha snickered before nodding. “We could both oblige him of course.”she said looking amused before sighing, running her fingers through her hair. “I’m fine. Worried, but better after I got bruce to look at him, and he’s getting some sleep.”She smiled before wincing, nodding slightly. “I’ll watch him. And her. But she did tell him how to call off Loki, so she might be good for him. Even if he’s going to be a little stupid over her.”Natasha sighed, tilting her head, “Come on Steve. You need some sleep to. Come snuggle our super soldier,and he can wake up happy at having sex.”

“....Don’t say that. He probably has.”Valentina said looking amused before nodding looking around. “It is.”She said before moving over to his side, eyes widening as she studied the pictures. “I don’t know. I’m curious though. I’ll have to ask him.”She sighed a little before relaxing, realizing she had done okay with getting the chocolate, rolling her eyes at loki’s writing. “he’s going to flip out. Really.”She said looking amused though before shaking her head. “Not yet. Next time we’ll move everything. I want to see how long it takes him to show up at my apartment again.”She said looking amused at the idea.
 
"nah, they'll just maim it a bit." Steve promised with a grin. "he's always in a bad mood when he gets turned into small animals." it was rather horrifying to realize that it happened often enough for there to be a pattern. over the course of Loki's... uh, career' most of them, even Phil and Steve, had been turned into various animals twice, turned into babies at last three times, and had grown animal parts like some demented anime porn that Clint liked so much. he claimed it wasn't porn and that the shows he watched where actually for children but Steve wasn't so sure. "well at least she was a little bit helpful... he never did say how he called Loki off." he admitted, looking confused before grinning. "i think it's good tht Clint is settling down. making a nest of his own." Steve admitted, fighting to keep the snickers out of his voice, he wasn't succeeding very well. "well i won't argue." he agreed, closing his paperwork books. he had long ago gotten over the weird awkward parts where he asked 'are you sure? you don't mind?'.

"if he invited you here and then didn't warn you? that's not how he works." Loki assured her. "i'm curious as well. let me know what you find out. it would be great if he stole these or something. blackmail material you know." he admitted with a grin. "he is going to flip. it will be fun. i should leave a spying bug to record the moment he realize i was here." he admitted with a grin and a laugh, following her out of the cave, watching the door, on double jointed hinges swing shut behind them. he examined the wall for a moment before, just to be a dick,slid his hand over the Hawk, erasing it so that Clint would look like an idiot when he couldn't find the door. never occurred to Loki that Clint had etched that in there before he went to Valentina, just in case. that and for Natasha, since he knew she would be checking the place out sooner or later. Natasha even knew where all of the Indian artifacts came from. not that she'd be telling anyone ever.
 
“Maybe. And it’s disturbing that this has happened enough to be a pattern.”She informed the other looking amused though before snickering. “He called him LoKitty. Apparently the godling likes cats.”Natasha said laughing a little before nodding. “Oh yes. It is. Except just think about the consquences of letting him have a nest. A houseful of hawklets.”She snickered as they headed for bed. Smiling a little as they got settled into the bed, cuddling james between them with a tired smile as she went to sleep.

“Maybe.”She frowned slightly before nodding.”I’ll let you know. It’ll be a interesting tale I’m sure.Don’t leave cameras, he wont invite me back if you do.”She snorted amused shaking her head as he erased the hawk. “I’ll see you later Loki.”She said watching the man leave for a moment as they reached the surface, before heading back to her apartment, wondering why the space she’d made for herself seemed slightly lonelier then it had that morning. Smiling to herself as she headed for bed, just wondering about what reaction Clint was going to have. She should have let loki put cameras in, that would be amusing.
 
"i know right?" Steve asked, shaking his head. "it's pretty horrible." he admitted with a sigh. "Loki's a pain in the ass." he complained before snickering. "Lokitty? seriously? that's... that's bad. terrible even." he admitted with a grin before smirking. "as long as he raises the little beasts somewhere else. Tony won't react well to the knowledge that there's babies running around." he admitted. "speaking of Tony. how is he?" he asked, wondering how the billionaire was taking his latest breakup with Pepper Potts. he settled into bed with James, content and lacking pain for once. god bless Bruce.

"please. as if i would use Cameras. i have magic spells for everything dear heart." Loki teased, shaking his head. e only called her that when he wanted to be especially annoying. "later!" Loki called, glad that he'd had time with her. he always felt a little less lonely when he was able to spend some time with her.

it was noon the next morning when Clint finally showed up at the apartment, sitting outside her Balcony with no indication at all as to how he had gotten there. he certainly hadn't climbed from the outside and she would have heard him if he'd come in through the vents. he was sitting on the railing, legs dangling over the side, munching on a chocolate rabbit looking fairly pleased with himself. it wouldn't take her long to wonder why, considering Doom was calling her and demanding her help in 'removing the photos from the internet'. the photo she had left with Clint, had been posted to different websites from three hundred different servers all at the same time. it was everywhere and he was being mocked relentlessly. "this is what you get fr leaving incriminating evidence of Loki's visit." Clint stated with a grin. "not to mention leaving incriminating photos of your boss for me. god bless Tony Stark."
 
“It really is.”Natasha said before laughing, “Yea. Seriously. I thought he was going to die when Clint said it.”Natasha snickered a little before wincing at the idea. “Yea. Let’s not freak out tony more then we have to.”She said shaking her head a little before wincing. “As well as you’d expect. I’d spend some time with him if you get a chance. He’s locked himself in the lab for the most part, only coming out for missions, and to drag bruce in for science. I don’t think he’s dealing well, but he wont let us in to help either...”she sighed tiredly.

Valentina frowned slightly as she spoke on the phone, trying to calm the upset megalomaniac, even as she made herself breakfast. And ignored the pleased looking archer sitting on her balcony. “You should be more careful of who you share your porn stash with Doctor, but since you asked nicely, I shall take care of it, even if I have to get Loki to help.”She promised, even if she knew there was no getting tired of the pictures totally. Hanging up once she got doom calm, running her fingers through her hair she nearly looked naked for a moment, the long hair hiding the short shorts and tank top before braiding it as she stepped out onto the balcony. Shaking her head a little at the man as she tied her hair off, the long braid curling over her shoulder. “Hey was trying to be helpful you know. And taking the mischief maker meant I had someone else to shove into any trap you set for me.”She shrugged twitching a little before snorting. “I’m sure you could get Loki to bless him. I hear Stark’s on the market these days, and Loki’s always had a interesting./....taste in the mortals he blesses.”She said because she didn’t really care either way if doom’s pictures got out there or not.
 
Doom shrieked that he hadn't shared that picture with anyone! and if he hadn't shared it with her who the hell else would he have shared it with!? she did eventually get him calmed down and Clint chuckled. "that was extremely amusing." he admitted. "you do know that there's no getting rid of the pictures now right? Tony has them set to automatically destroy themselves in a self replication program of some sort. they dissolve after a few hours or something like that. but people who saved them onto their computers or printed them out can't be destroyed." he admitted with a grin, watching her, eyes wide when he saw how long her hair really was. god he loved long hair. "i know." he admitted. "still gave me a heart attack. tell him thanks for the tips next you see him would you? if i see him i'm likely to punch him in the face more than anything else." he admitted before frowning, confused.

"Bless? what do you mean?" he asked, head cocked to the side. "you mean like sex? Loki wants to have sex with Tony?" he asked, looking baffled. "...well how about that. it does explain a few things. Tony rarely get's hit by Magic." that was more because Loki wasn't sure how Magic would affect the tin suit or the remains of the Arc reactor in Tony. Loki wanted to play games, not permanently maim his toys. "i would have warned you before i set any traps up down there. i was even nice enough to leave you a mark where the door was." he admitted with a grin. "there are other ways in too of course, i'll leave little markers for you if you like." he offered before holding out an unwrapped bunny to her. "come to the good side Valentina. we have chocolate, good booze, and an insane man who makes the most awesome toys. by the way i'm supposed to ask your bow specs so Tony can make a better one." he rolled his eyes. "considering i've never seen a bow like yours before i don't think you need a new one, but Tony get's stubborn. best just to let him build it and keep it as a back up." he looked at her Bow, laying so calmly where she always laid it. "it is a gorgeous Bow... could i handle it?" he asked, he knew it was a pretty serious question. archers like him like her, their Bows where their lives. loose their bow, and they where dead. it took a lot of trust to let someone handle their bow, Clint wouldn't be upset in the least if she said no.
 
"I know. But telling him to not worry about it will put his mind at ease. Besides. Who wants to save that picture to their computer?"she said with a shuddering snicker. "And I'm glad I amused you. I endeavor to do that all the time."she said rolling her eyes before snickering."I'm sure you did. We figured you'd freak out. And I will. Though considering he yelled at me to, I might end up punching him."she snickered quietly.

"Hm yes. And no. Tony stark is like a mischief maker's dream come true. Simply by being who he is, the avengers are protected from others, because loki likes you guys....in a tested fuck ed up way. So it's sorta like a god protecting chosen people.....and he's not sure what the magic would do to the arc reactor. He wants to cause problems, not accidently kill him."she said smiling."that's what loki said but I figured it was better safe then sorry...and no. It's your place. I'll just use that door."she shrugged a little before laughing as she took the bunny."this is a amusing offering from a man named hawkeye."she teased before shaking her head."sorry. I have good booze and better toys over here."she said before huffing."he won't be able to make mine....have him make one like yours.it'd be good backup."she said before looking at her bow. Going quiet thinking about it. It wasn't like he'd actually be able to harm it. Lifting it up she held it out towards him."go ahead."
 
"people who want blackmail or easy ways to mock the man." Clint admitted simply. "also, Tony. Tony saved that picture so he can threaten his bots with that poor things fate." he admitted before smirking at her. "don't worry. i'm easily amused. just throw me something sparkly or shiny or colorful and i'll be entertained for hours." he admitted. "well, i don't think freaked out is the right word, i think it's more like 'oh crap what did he do in here?' but i can't see where he laid his prank." he scowled. "i'm beginning to think he didn't leave one just to piss with my head." he admitted. "he yelled at you for telling me that cute little nickname you have for him?" he guessed with a lopsided grin.

"you know, you make a good point. Tony is a chaos courtier." not to mention Clint himself loved playing pranks. "so basically only Loki gets to pick on us, is that it?" he asked, looking amused. "kind of like a toddler with a crush, he can yank on the little girls pigtails but he'll get all up in someone's face for doing the same thing." he mused. "i think Loki just has a crush on Tony and doesn't want to admit it." he admitted with a chuckle. "i don't mind." Clint promised with a smile. "yes. it is amusing." he agreed, biting the head off of another bunny. "you do not have better toys!" he protested. "as if Doom could ever make anything at all that actually works. the only person worse than Doom is Hammer!" he complained. "you can't seriously think that Doom can make good toys!" he complained, shaking his head before grinning at her. "i'll tell him that then. i'll just need your Draw weight." he admitted before lighting up happily at being promised he could handle it. letting her hand it to him, handling it carefully. "it's gorgeous." he mumbled, stroking th fine details before lifting it in one hand and trying to pull the string back and halting, surprised when he didn't succeed at first. a second try resulted in the same effect and he looked at her, suspicious. "is it keyed to your signature or something?" he wondered, examining the bow again. he couldn't see anything on it that would limit who could use it so... he frowned and tried again and this time he slowly, haltingly managed to pull the string back and then gasped, releasing it, shaking his head. "Jesus Christ what do you have this thing set at?!" he couldn't believe the amount of strength it took to pull this thing back. holy crap. this was very unusual indeed.
 
“....Disturbing. Oh well. He’ll forget about it soon enough as he figures out what to do with Reed next.”Valentina rolled her eyes a little before snorting. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’m sure I have sparkly things around here somewhere.”She smiled amused. “He didn’t do anything. We just looked after the tree, though we thought about moving everything a few inches to the left. It would have been amusing. But we didn’t. I wanted invited back.”She said looking amused before nodding. “he did. He was quite annoyed at it.”

“He really is. Between you and Stark, you keep any prankster well entertained.”Valentina smiled a little before nodding. “Exactly. Not that he’d ever admit to liking you guys. Or interested in testing a super soldier, and I do think he’s got a thing for Stark, and maybe Rogers, but I dunno.”She said looking amused before sighing, rolling her eyes as she watched him eat the bunny and starting to eat hers. “I never said it was Doom who made my toys. Just that I have better toys right now.”She said snickering at his complaining, resting her hip against the railing as she watched him. “Just set it to whatever your draw weight is.”She said, well aware that her typical draw weight, wouldn’t be able to be replicated on a earth bow. “No. It’s not. It’s not thor’s hammer, to be only used by me.”She said looking amused as she watched him, starting to laugh as it took him awhile to get it to draw back. “Well, you did better then I thought. And probably nearly double what yours is, if it took you that long to do it. Nearly 400.”she smiled tilting her head, indeed it had been nearly double clint’s draw of 250.


(And yes, I looked up what his draw weight is in the comics, so we’re going with that weight for his bow, though I’m betting his compound isn’t as strong as the bow in the comics.XDD)
 
"very disturbing. i've learned not to ask." he admitted. "...well, no i haven't because i always do. damn my curiosity." he grumbled, looking amused. "well, i'd be worried if you didn't, according to Natasha all girls have sparkly things or they aren't really irls.... i'm pretty sure if i ever repeated that to her though she'd punch my face in so i try not to say that." he admitted with that impish little grin. "i figured. Loki doesn't do much unless we're right there. honestly, i can't believe i didn't realize it before. that he was bored i mean." he admitted. "it makes so much sense now. i can't really forgive him for what he did to me, but as much of a pain in the ass as he is, i'm kind of glad he's around. actual crime has dropped a lot since he started doing weird things to people." he admitted. "yeah... sure." he muttered, glancing at her, not sure she could pull back on his own bow. well, he was proven wrong pretty damn quick wasn't he? "Jesus..." he uttered, handing it back to her, staring at her. "so that's why Loki's scared of you. your Asgardian right?" it was the only thing that made sense to him. "now i feel very impotent next to you." he admitted with a sigh. "but! i think alien chicks are sexy so i don't think it matters." he admitted with a grin, checking the time. "damn. i'm going to be late." he sighed, sulking. "maybe i will join the dark side. at least the dark side doesn't have three hour meetings where no one gets anything done..."
 
Valentina snickered at that before smiling. “Curiosity killed the cat, hawklet. You better be careful, especially when it concerns doom.”She said looking amused though before pausing thinking about that before smacking his shoulder, resisting the urge to cop a feel on the muscular arm under her hand. “I’ll smack you for her since she isn’t here.”she decided before rolling her eyes. “I’ve known him to long to not know when he’s bored to tears.”Though it wasn’t the only reason lki was playing with them, he wanted attention from Thor. And while he might not like her showing up during his fights, they did get along for the most part, Loki having been one of the few aesir’s who’d welcomed her. “Between him doing weird stuff to people, and you guys cracking down on crime by showing up, things have been fairly quiet.”She looked amused before nodding slightly. “Hm, I am.”She said smiling watching him, tense and nervous. Upset before relaxing, not even quite knowing why she cared about his response to the knowledge that she was asgardian, before relaxing. “Well, go enjoy your meeting. And while we don’t have meeting, I do have guard duty with doom, which unfortunately results in pictures like the one I shared with you.”She reminded before heading back inside. “Goodbye Barton.”
 
he smirked. "good thing i'm a hawk then. hawks don't get killed by curiosity. besides. satisfaction brought it back so, you know, nine lives and all." he admitted with a grin, laughing he she smacked him. "anything to get your hands on me, eh?" he asked, grinning impishly at her. "you've known Loki for a long time then?" he asked, his head tilted. "he ever tell you why? invading the earth i mean." he asked. no, Loki hadn't, but he didn't need to, she had known from the beginning. he had done it for his children, had thought by kick-starting ragnarok, his children would be set free. it had worked. his children where free and no one had died. even Odin had been stunned. it was Odin who declared Loki was no longer an enemy of Asgard, Loki was still banished but he wouldn't be actively hunted down anymore. Odin also declared that Loki's children where free to go. Ragnarok had come and gone without bloodshed and without the end of the worlds. Thor hadn't shown up yet because he was rather ashamed of what Loki and his niece and nephews had been through. "i'm only asking because, well, when i was under his mind control thing, it wasn't actually death, destruction and ruling on his mind. it was something warmer. something i can't identify." he admitted, looking at her.

"well that's true. not to mention Loki doesn't like Bullies anymore than Cap does. did you hear what Loki did to that gang of serial rapists? they'd caught some poor girl alone in the park and where about to... you know... and then Loki's there and he... well this part changes depending on who tells it, but from what i was able to get from the police report he cut off their... man bits, with a knife and then used some srt of red hot metal thing to cauterize it so that they wouldn't be able to reattach their willies." Clint was grimacing, and crossing his legs. a man couldn't help himself. "after that happened and word got out, rape accounts dropped to almost nothing." Rape, on asgard, was a death penalty. it was one of the most abhorrent things a person could do to another. Loki took extreme measures against such people. "that's so cool! your actually Asgardian! you have to tell me everything! what kind of food do you guys have?! are your weapons really amazing? how does magic work and can you teach me to be magic too? i keep trying to ask Thor but he keeps complaining that he's too busy to answer silly questions like that, which is ridiculous! god dammit Natasha stop calling me!" he complained when his phone went off, Natasha reminding him that they had a meeting as she always did and threatening bodily harm if he didn't show up.
 
"I'm fairly certain it does something harming to hawks as well."she said looking amused before nodding. As weird as she could personally be about having a lover, on asgardian it was more of a insult to deny attraction then to simply tell the other you wanted to touch them."but of course, hawklet. Though you might not enjoy me kicking your ass just touch you."she said smiling before nodding."indeed. A long time."she said because while she was one of the youngest asgardians, she was still centuries old. In fact, she was barely old enough to have left asgard, more rebellious teen then anything else. Which was good. She was closer to his age mentally then had she been any other asgardian."he did and I won't tell you....that's his story and pain. But he....he had better reasons then simply wanting to destroy something thor loved."

"I heard. Indeed it was a light punishment for the crime."she said tilting her head."rape in asgard is punishable by death by torture.....and for near immortals, torture can take awhile."she said shugging a little before laughing a little, patting his arm again simply because she couldn't help but touch him when he was this close and hadn't freaked out that she was."I can. Later. You have somewhere to be."she said tilting her head, not only because he did, but because she needed time to figure out what she wanted from this....she was young enough she hadn't had a lot of relationships, much less one with a human. So it was throwing her off on how to deal with it.
 
he grinned at her. "mostly they get their feathers plucked." he admitted with a chuckle before shrugging. "women who can kick my ass are sexy, what can i say?" he asked with a grin. "i'm sure i would enjoy it." he admitted. "it's hard to tell with me really." he admitted. "so our like, really old then? like Thor and Loki are? Thor mumbled something about thousands of years old but i'm not sure how much i believe him." he admitted. "then again, if he was around when the Norse where you guess really could be that old." he admitted. "i always did have a thing for older ladies." he admitted with another grin. "well. i'm just glad he was never evil." he admitted. "he did some really nasty things, but i've been talking to a therapist for a while and i'm beginning to realize that some of the things he did, weren't really that bad. sure he did things to my mind, but he never really took advantage of me." he admitted. "even now. he's doing some pretty nasty things, but he always stops if a kid gets scared and he never hurts anyone. i guess i just want to know that it's okay not to hate him." he admitted.

he blinked at her, looking startled. "so he was basically upholding asgardian justice on them? not that i'm complaining in the least, those bastards, all five of them, deserved what they got. they raped upwards of thirty women. still it was kind of a... messy job." he admitted, shuddering. "great!" he looked very excited indeed about having some story times. "yeah... but i don't want to. maybe i'll play hooky. Nat will kick my ass but Steve won't mind too much." he decided, leaning forward, hanging out over the edge of empty air, studying the drop he'd taken just the other day before smiling at her. "see you later! if anyone asks, i haven't been 'round." he suggested before dropping to the ground before, brushing himself off once he landed and heading off, whistling while he walked. "well. that was interesting." Loki mused, stepping out behind her. "out of everyone who might have forgiven me, he was the last one i expected." he admitted, leaning against the balcony, offering her a grin. "so. what are you going to do?"
 
“hm, if you say so. Women who can kick my ass, are not sexy.”Valentina made a face looking amused though before shrugging. “They are old. Thor is like....4 thousand I think, loki’s close to that to. Sadly, I just celebrated my 500th birthday.”She said wrinkling her nose. Really, she was young enough that there were some that hadn’t wanted to let her out of the nursery just yet. But she’d put her foot down and left anyways. “Which really, for us. Istn’t that old.”She said before laughing, “you are a very odd mortal, you know that right?”She teased before frowning, thinking about it before nodding. “It’s okay not to hate him.”

“A briefer, less deadly asgardian justice, but yes. For us, that would have been a death penalty for what those men did.”She said before smiling slightly. Watching him go with a smile, “Hm, you better go. I’ll be here tomorrow.”She promised watching him go, “kay. If anyone asks.”She said amused before nearly jumping out of her skin when loki appeared, looking at him.”He might just be the first willing to admit to forgiving you. Not the first to actually do so.” Frowning slightly. “Do about what?”
 
"i highly doubt there's a woman on midgard that's capable of kicking your ass Valentina." Clint pointed out with a chuckle before gaping at her. "four... four Thousand years old...." he sounded rather faint. "so... so Thor was alive when Christ was born?" he asked, sounding stunned. "Thor... Thor was... oh god that's so... i feel small and insignificant..." he admitted, looking baffled. "he doesn't even know who Jesus Christ even IS! that's not FAIR!" he complained. "he could be the answer to so many questions but he doesn't know anything but the viking Era because he's stupid!" he complained, sulking before grinning at her. "only five hundred huh? how old do people usually get to be on Asgard?" he wondered. "like, is Thor old or middle aged or something?" he wondered. "because i could totally dig picking on him for being an old man." he admitted. "you know, that's not the first time i've been told that." he admitted with a chuckle. "i'm glad. i still don't like him though." he admitted.

"i kind of wish we had something like that here. so many people are worried about the rights of those that committed the crime, that they forget who the criminals hurt." he admitted sadly, shaking his head. "we're a fucked up, backwards little planet." he admitted before he smiled at her. "i don't get a goodbye kiss?" he asked with a laugh, dropping away before she could respond. "don't play coy. i am like, three times older than you." Loki pointed out. "this is the first time you've found someone yuo are physically and emotionally attracted to. it's okay to be nervous, everyone is the first time." he admitted with a smile. "just don't do what i did." he ordered. Loki had fallen so head over heals in puppy love with a big strong asgardian male that he'd had sex the first night. the man had tried to leave Loki when Loki had announced he was pregnant, the man had been put to the death when Odin had found out the man had only slept with Loki so that they could tease Loki about being a slut and for being so stupid as to think that anyone would love the little runt. it had only been once, but it had been enough to tear Loki's heart apart, it had never healed considering the events that had followed. no one could heal when their children where being banished just for being born and finding out your father didn't care what actually happened to you so long as they didn't get caught. there was a reason why Loki reacted more violently to rape than any other asgardian after all.
 
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