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Repentance the Sin-(Avengers) Moon/Addie13

Tony nodded a little. "he doesn't know that you can do that, does he?" Tony asked softly. "he doesn't know about your Voodoo." because Tony had to call it something, and calling her 'witchy powers' just that seamed insulting. "he really does need help. Thor told me a few... things." Tony admitted. "at the time i thought it was funny but..." he worried his lip. "i think Loki's been very badly abused." he admitted softly. "and worse, i don't think any of those people of his noticed, or cared..." Tonny admitted with a shake of his head. "he's going to hurt you Ana, you know that don't you? he's going to hurt you, he probobly won't mean to, but he will. you need to be prepared for that. Loki... he's scared, very scared, and i highly doubt he knows how to handle true kindness like your giving him..." he glanced at the clock. "i have to go, Pepper will have my ass on a wall if i'm late to my meeting. stupid legislation. i don't know why Pepper can't go to these damn things, she runs the company now..." he grumbled as he shot back his drink and gave her a kiss to the forehead. "i'll stop by tomorrow to make sure he hasn't done anything." he grumbled. "Thor's here too, i'll see if i can't pry him for information."
 
Ana looked him over, brows raised. "He's already hurt me, he can't possibly do anything more than that. If he's been abused like I have been, then we need each other." Looking Tony over now, her brows raised. "Now go. Okay? I'll be fine and don't let anyone else know he's here. It's our little secret." She saw him out now and when he was gone, she came up towards Loki carefully. "Loki?" she asked quietly, keeping a distance so he wouldn't freak out. She wanted to talk to him, and to figure some things out. She wanted to speak with him, learn some more things and.... Tell him about her powers. Possibly.
 
Tony nodded a little. "yes well... i'll kill him if he hurts you too much." Tony warned. though, he would bet Jarvis that Loki didn't even know he'd hurt her. "our little secrete." he agreed with a roll of his eyes as he let himself be shoved out the door so he wouldn't be late. he resisted the urge to call Fury, just to get Loki away from her. he hated the idea of Loki having what Tony wanted... but Tony couldn't deny that she did look a bit happier than she had before. Loki grunted as she called his name and his eyes snapped open, flitting around as if looking for an attacker before he relaxed again and blinked at her. "i was having a good dream." he complained, narrowing his eyes at her. "and if that idiot with the red underwear is still here, then i'm going back to swimming in liquid gold, thank you very much."
 
Ana laughed at this, looking him over. "Liquid gold?" she asked, smirking now. "Did your body stain? Did you look like a statue of mischief?" Giggling now, she slid down into the seat next to him, eyes studying him. She needed to figure out how to talk to him about all of this, but she wasn't sure if she could or if he'd think her strange about the entire thing. "Uh, well.... I wanted to talk to you. Tony made me think and realize some things... And trust me, they aren't bad. At least, not in my opinion, and I hope not in yours too. He thinks you're going to hurt me, whether you know it or not... And while it may be a possibility.... I would very much like to offer myself to be here for you... If you need it. I realized, that you and I are very much alike. Tony confirmed something I saw in you, about... Abusive relationships." She cleared her throat and looked down at her hands. "But first, I should explain.... When I took your pain away, to take it in as my own, that's not the only thing I can do. I can see into your thoughts and your feelings and your mind. I don't always see everything, and it only ever happens through touch. That's what I meant when I say I'm cursed. It always happens when my bare hands touch someone else's bare skin. I didn't want to see it, but I did. And I understand now, how alike we are... And I wish to help you, more so than I have already offered."
 
he snorted. "no, it was gold, melted gold. only it wasn't hot. it felt very nice actually." he admitted. "sort of like if you put hot honey in a bathtub and soaked in it... only not sticky." he admitted with a grin. "it's been a long time since i've had such a pleasant dream." he admitted as he studied her. "how can talking to Tony result in anything but trauma and mortification?" Loki asked, his eyes glittering, amused. clearly the 'hatred' between the two was a lot more one sided than Tony thought. "i probobly will hurt you, unfortunately. my abilities to formulate proper social responses are highly limited." Loki admitted. "throw in that you are a very confusing girl on top of that and yes, i would imagine hurt feelings will be a large part of my dealings with you." he pointed out before he went as tense as a steel bracer. "...and what made you think i have been abused?" he demanded, overly defensive, which meant that Tony was right. Loki's life had been hell, probobly, for a good chunk of his life, if not all of it. "you can..." he stared at her, stunned. "i wasn't aware humans could do that..." he admitted as he examined the pale expanse of the little bit of flesh she had available. at least he didn't look freaked out or angry. "so that's how you knew i was abused... you saw it." he muttered, closing his eyes. "yes... i was. hurt, a lot." he admitted, sitting up slowly and sighing as he clasped his hands together and leaned over his knees, staring at the floor. "that's why you knew i was telling the truth too. you felt something from me that told you i wasn't a real threat..." he blinked at her. "where you hurt as a child?" he asked softly. "someone i could kill for you perhaps?" well, at least Loki was admitting that he did like her, as a freind if nothing else. he was amusingly protective for a man who had long insisted he hated all things, and all people.
 
Ana shook her head. "I've been hurt all my life, it's nothing new," she said simply. She'd still get upset, but it'd be easier to recover as it always happened. "I don't know how to act either, so... I suppose we learn together, yes?" However, hearing him asking about being hurt, she went quiet. "Quite a few times, yes. First, my birth mother..." She hesitated before pulling off her shirt and turning to show him her back. There was an elaborate tattoo of a cherry blossom branch all over her back, but if you looked very closely, you would see the cigarette burns that the tattoo was used to cover up. "My mother wasn't a good mother... I never knew what they were until my adoptive 'parents' told me. Then, of course, when I was a child with them, my 'father' would abuse me, verbally and physically. It wasn't often, but when it happened, I was terrified of him, really. And yet... I still stood up against him and tried my best not to let him push me around which is what resulted in me getting kicked out of their household. However, it sort of twisted me for awhile... I craved the abuse, you know? Anytime you're in an absuive relationship, you come to expect it. So I found a guy that I thought I loved, and he'd hurt me too until I met Jane Foster and Erik Selvig. They helped me out a lot." She looked over at him now before sighing. "And yes, you are right. I knew because I saw it. It's why I wear gloves all the time. I don't like being touched, even though it's the one thing I crave the most."
 
Loki watched her intently, his head tilted as he pondered. "my so called Father never really hurt me physically or mentally. he was simply completely indifferent to me. i suppose it hurt more because he obviously loved Thor very much. he would smile and laugh and play with Thor, but he'd look at me with eyes as cold as steal, and almost a sneer on his face, as if i was something disgusting." he admitted, shaking his head. "the physical stuff didn't start until i was fifteen, and i went into the Academy. the Warriors Three liked to beat me up. and then the rest of the Academy got in on it. i was desperate for affection, desperate for attention. so when they started to rape me, i simply accepted it." Loki admitted. "it didn't hurt, after all, and sometimes it even felt rather nice. Odin found out though, after the birth of my daughter, Hel. five of my six children have been locked away, i never got to raise them. my last child is kept in the stables as Odin's best steed, the filthy bastard. not that Jori is of human intelligence, he's smarter than the average horse, but... he's still fairly simple minded." he admitted. "at least one of my children is being treated well, the others are all but being tortured simply because they where born from me, because my rapists didn't use proper protection." he admitted, turning to look at her. "Erik Selvig, he was the scientist who built in the fail safe?" he asked softly. "he's a brilliant man. he was amazingly capable of twisting the Voice's Orders to suit his own desires." Loki admitted. "i know what it's like to crave touch." he admitted softly, reaching over and gently settling his hand in hers, ignoring the glove, simply holding her hand because he thought she might need it.
 
Ana looked down at his hands in hers, a small smile coming to her lips despite the sad words he'd uttered. "I am very sorry you had to go through that... I got raped once, not as much as you, but I understand the fear that comes along with it." She sighed and bit her lip. "You mustn't tell Tony, but when we had our one night stand... I did get pregnant, but I had a miscarriage. I was actually somewhat excited at the idea of having a child, but I got hurt." In reality, she'd lost the baby due to the injury he'd caused her with the tesseract war. "Anyways..." she said, trying to change the subject before she looked up at him, eyes studying him. She felt attraction, and she didn't know why. This really was the true definition of flirting with disaster, wasn't it?
 
Loki shrugged. "i don't mind." he admitted. "while it was intrusive, traumatic, horrible and all around unpleasant, i cannot feel bad about the small amounts of pleasure i was able to receive." he admitted simply. "i've never really felt pleasure before that." he admitted, glancing at her, looking horrified. "oh Ana i'm sorry." he breathed, mortified that she had lost such a precious thing as a child. "i'm so sorry you lost your child, that's probobly one of the worst things... i'm not helping, i'm sorry..." he muttered, closing his eyes. he knew how it felt to lose a child. Hel had been torn away from him when she was only ten, cast into Nifelheim and trapped there. his sons where in constant states of torture. his Twins, he didn't even know what Odin had done to them. only Jormunder, his precious six legged Colt seamed to have a good life, and that's because the silly foal was too dumb to realize that being the personal steed of Odin was an insult. he had lost children too, and while they where all still alive, he wasn't allowed to see them at all. he moved before he could stop himself, kissing her deeply, and then he gasped, jerking back. "i'm sorry! i shouldn't have without your permission..."
 
Ana was trying to register all he was saying, but she didn't get a chance to before his lips were on hers. Once again, due to the contact, her eyes glazed over and turned white, darting side to side as if reading text. However, instead of staying while their contact lasted, they faded back to green as she picked up on his attraction. Blinking in confusion now, she shook her head before looking at herself in confusion. Why did that happen? Usually it lasted... Pulling off her glove now, she tentatively touched his cheek with her bare fingers, surprised to only feel a slight buzz of energy this time. Well, then... If the fates would allow a break from her curse, then by all means she was going to take advantage of it. Kissing him again now, she pulled him closer, using her abilities to pull out his feelings and with a free hand, she grabbed the nearest object to instill his pain into for safe keeping. It would eventually find its way back to him later on, but if this went anywhere, she needed him in his best health.
 
Loki studied her, confused about why she looked so confused. he sighed, closing his eyes at the skin to skin contact, leaning into it, too confused to be worried about her feeling his pain, emotions, or seeing something he wasn't sure he wanted her to see. he moaned as she kissed him again and he brought his hands up and tangled them in her hair before gasping, surprised. he pulled away and stared at his wrists for a moment, stunned that it didn't hurt before he focused on something more important. her. "bedroom." he gasped, staggering to his feet, pleased to see that with the loss of pain, he had a great deal more energy, because his magic wasn't fighting so hard to keep the pain and swelling down. now it could focus entirely on healing him, which could only take so much magic after all. leaving him with enough energy to make her scream in pleasure several times over.
 
Ana grinned and nodded, taking his hand as she led him into her bedroom. She shut the door now, eyes studying him as she sat down on her bed. She offered a small smile now, leaning back on the bed as she looked him over. "Feeling better, huh?" she teased before taking his hands in hers again, eyes studying him. "Are you sure you would like this? Because usually what happens, is I do this, and then the guy takes off." She gave a small nod then sighed. "I typically tend to send men running, I think..." She wrinkled her nose now, lifting her brows as she looked up at him. "But I'd rather like it if you stayed..."
 
he grinned a little. "feeling much better, i don't know exactly what you did, but thank you... you didn't hurt yourself again did you?" he demanded, examining her wrists before nodding, relieved to see her no more hurt than before. "of course i want this, your the first person to offer me any sort of comfort in my entire life... i want to make you feel as good as you make me feel." he admitted softly, panting a little as he kissed her again. "i can't exactly take off. i'm damaged remember?" he asked with a grin. "i'm afraid your stuck with me for a while." he admitted with a smile. "i'd rather like i if i stayed too." he admitted before he kissed her again, his hands sliding up under her shirt, stroking the soft expanse of her belly before leaning up and carefully removing her shirt from her person. he wanted to see her skin, feel her flesh, taste every part of her. he lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her stomach before working his way up her body, nuzzling the valley of her breasts, smiling a little. "hmm you smell wonderful." he breathed, tugging on her bra. "how do you work this thing?"
 
Ana nodded. "It's stupid of me to allow something like this... I'm only going to end up hurt, but... It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all as they say," she said. Not that she loved him, of course. Well... Not yet. But she definitely felt strongly towards him, a very strong attraction. Smiling a little, she pulled him closer to her before she examined his face, running her fingers through his hair. "I took your pain and put it in an object. Never tried it before, but it worked! Don't know how long it'll last, so we'll want to be quick." She offered a nod before giggling at his difficulty with the bra. Rolling her eyes now, she sat up and demonstrated how it worked before tugging it off in its entirety. "There, see? They're uncomfortable, but they do what they're meant to." Looking him over again now, she pulled him in farther, pressing her lips to his as she worked on stripping him down as well.
 
he blinked at her, his head tilted. "whatr idiot said that?" he demanded, looking rather horrified. "that's not true at all!" he complained. "losing someone you love is like being dropped in a vat of acid and... not the right time." he muttered, more to himself than anything. "i have got to stop doing that." he muttered before offering her a smile. "i did warn you i would probobly end up hurting you. but if i have to leave, ever, it won't be of my free will." he promised her softly. "your the closest thing i've ever had to a freind. i don't want to lose you in any way." he admitted before looking impressed. "well, that is a handy little trick. now that my Magic isn't running pain management, my healing rate has nearly tripled. i should be physically well enough to take a piss on my own by the time the pain comes back." he admitted with a grin before looking at the Bra with a baffled look. "and what is their purpose?" he asked, curious before he was pulled into another kiss. he could be curious about earthling oddities later, for now., he had a woman to pleasure.

soon he had them both naked, after struggling with her zipper for a long moment. "damn mortal clothing, why must you invent such inanities!?" he demanded, once he'd gotten the button and zipped undone and stripped her of her pants, panting softly as he examined her underwear, scowling. "and why must you wear so many clothes?!" he complained. he himself had not been wearing any underwear. apparently Asgardian's didn't own such things. he stripped her of those as well and smiled as he finally had her naked, both their clothes scattered because he'd gotten frustrated and tossed them away from him once he'd gotten her out of them. he lowered his head and stroked her inner thighs and pressed a kiss to her pelvis, just above any curly hair she might have had. "you're beautiful." he breathed, shivering as he stroked her inner thighs again before leaning down, and pressing a kiss to her clit, before showing her just what a shapeshifting god could do with his tongue. he stroked her, tasted her, and it almost seamed like he wanted to drive her mad.
 
Ana gave a small nod. "I've never loved," she said simply. "Nor have I been loved. I don't know what it feels like." She dropped it at that, however, and continued on with their love making, occasionally laughing at his frustration with human garments, explaining their uses soon after.

He was definitely a GOD. When all was said and done, and she was laying on her back staring up at the ceiling, she knew that he had to be. Not that she doubted him before, of course. She knew it all to be true. But it was firmly in her mind now, as only a man who was immortal and had many eons of practice could really be THAT skilled with love making. Shaking her head now, she leaned into him and closed her eyes, running her fingers over his chest. "It's strange... I can't fully feel you anymore, nor can I see your mind. This happened with Tony too... It just turns off sometimes, I guess. But I prefer that... Now I can touch you without any worry of whether I'll lose sight of myself and focus only on you." She smirked then kissed his chest before sighing, sitting up carefully. "You're amazing, though... Best I've had. Don't let Tony know, though. It'll hurt his pride." She giggled a little then stretched a bit before moving to slide off the bed.

"Do you want anything? Food, drink, or-" Frowning now, she was suddenly overtaken with pain, having heard a crash from the other room. The vase she'd used to store his pain had fallen and broken due to the feelings struggling to get out on their own. Instead of going back to him, however, they found a host inside of her. Well, that didn't work out the way she'd planned but she supposed you had to take the good with the bad.
 
he smiled a little. "i loved once." he admitted, shaking his head. "she betrayed me." he admitted as he resumed his attentive ministrations upon her body. he wanted to show her how a REAL man did it. he had to grin as he watched her, staring glassy eyed at the ceiling when all was said and done, a smirk threatening his lips. "oh? is that a good thing?" he asked, wondering what that meant. he hated having so much in common with Tony freeking stark. "oh, i'll make sure Tony knows." Loki stated with a smirk. "he is, after all, but a mortal. he has no chance against the likes of me." he stated simply, lifting her hand and kissing her knuckles. "thank you." he murmured softly. "for letting me touch you. i greatly enjoyed it, and i hope you will let me do it again." he admitted, watching her slide out of bed. "i could use something to eat... Ana?" he asked, gasping as he leaped out of bed and settled next to her, gently helping her to sit upright. "Ana, what's wrong?" he demanded softly, worried beyond comprehension as he stroked her hair. "come on, let's get you back in bed." he decided, carefully picking her up and settling her into the bed and tucking her in before racing into the kitchen to get her a glass of cooling water, rushing back to carefully help her drink it. at least he wasn't trying to get away, now that he could.
 
Ana shook her head, looking down at her wrists to see them redder than normal. Leaning against the bed now, she looked over at him. "I suppose the pain came back, but not to you," she said with a wrinkled nose. She hadn't expected it to come to her, but apparently it had. Letting out a small breath now, she shook her head and sighed, leaning back with her eyes closed as she did so. "Who did you love, Loki?" she asked now, wanting to hear about it as she took a sip from the water he brought to her. She wanted to know everything about him now. She really did. He seemed amazing in her eyes, and she just wanted to better understand him. "I felt a female in your mind, but I never saw her. I tried to keep away from it, I don't get to choose what I see but I felt it too personal so I did my best to insist that I did not see it."
 
he grimaced as he examined her red wrists and gently laid cool, damp cloths on them once he fetched them from the bathroom. "i'm sorry... you must be in agony." he muttered softly, gently stroking her hair. "...i once loved Thor." Loki admitted. "that love died when i tried to get help from him after the first time i was raped." Loki admitted softly. "i loved my mother once, before she took a strangers word over my own. i loved my father once, before i watched him comfort Thor as he was crying from a nightmare, only an hour after i was told good Asgardian's do not cry..." he swallowed thickly. "i loved Victoria..." he whispered, his voice choked with pain and fury. "i proposed to her, we where going to be married in the springtime... and then she laughed as she stabbed me six times in the chest with a butchers knife, and told me she had been paid quite the sum to make sure i was broken in all ways. i never did find out who paid her. but she died shortly thereafter. killed by the Warrior's Three. who by that time had stopped trying to make my life complete hell." he admitted, staring at his hands, his voice dull, his face blank, and his eyes clouded as he struggled to control his emotions. he was a God, and Gods did not cry over silly little memories that no longer mattered. "she had hair as red as flames. and skin so soft it was like stroking warm silk, and eyes as green as the sea at dusk." he admitted, glancing at her. "i am glad you did not see it. she well and truly broke me. i never trusted, and never loved since then. not until now."
 
Ana was shaking now, utterly confused. "Red hair? Pale skin?" Her heart was pounding in her chest now as she looked over at him, eyes going wide. "But Loki... That's how I look," she said, looking confused. He apparently had a type. Fiery red heads and pale skin. She shook her head now, trying to relax and ignore that. She wasn't that other girl, so it was alright. Seeing him about to cry, however, she switched gears and took his hands. "You know it's alright to cry, right? You're hurt... You're suffering. You don't have to be strong around me." She sighed and shook her head. "I was going to get married once too, you know. Until I found out he was just using me and wanted to say he slept with the nerd. He was also a gold digger. Knew I was making a lot of money and wanted it all for himself."
 
he paused and then turned to blink at her, looking startled. "...no, you look nothing like Victoria." he stated. "her hair was not nearly as pretty a red, and your eyes are much brighter." he admitted. "your paler, and smaller." he admitted. "fragile, like your made of that soft china." he admitted with a smile. "like something i need to protect." he admitted softly. "it is never alright to cry." he stated, looking away from her. "it is a weakness that i can no longer afford. a weakness that others can, and will use against me." he stated, his eyes as cold as the antarctic. he said it all with a dull emotionless voice, that said that he truly believed it. tears where probobly something that had been beaten, or teased out of him at a very young age. "you where?" he asked, his head tilted. "...whats a nerd?" he asked, looking confused. "and a Gold digger?" he asked, head cocked to the side curiously, his misery forgotten int he face of curiosity. he really was a moody little bugger, but at least it was relatively easy to deal with him. "he wished to own you. i understand. many women try for Thor for the same reason." he admitted with a shrug. "they want him because he is the Prince, and will be the King when Odin goes into Odinsleep, or, Mercy upon us all, dies a violent and brutal death and hopefully stays that way." he stated with a sniff. "now sleep, i'm tired." he ordered, laying next to her and pulling her into his arms. "i cuddle." he stated simply. he wasn't about to let her know that this was the first time he'd laid next to another person, let alone slept with them, since Victoria.
 
"Now that is utter bull shit, Loki," she said. "Everyone cries. Even fucking Stark cries. I cry. I don't like others seeing me cry, but I do. It's normal and it is not a weakness. But, if you don't want others to see you, just do it when you're alone or with me. I won't tell anyone, I promise." She ran her fingers through his hair before smiling a little at his compliments of her. She listened to all he had to say for a moment before offering a faint nod, closing her eyes as she leaned against him. "Yes... He wanted to own me and nerd is.... It means you're very smart and do smart things with science and that sort of thing." That was just the easy explanation, of course. She nuzzled into him more now, trying her best to relax and sleep. She felt comfortable in his arms, which she wouldn't admit to him. He was the first person since her last boyfriend (Tony excluded) that she'd ever been with. It was funny how much in common the two had.
 
Loki frowned, looking almost baffled as he studied her. "crying is a weakness, everyone knows so. crying is something that can be used against you..." but he sounded uncertain now, as if he wasn't really sure of what he was saying, and there was a quaver to his voice. "...what good does crying do? it will do nothing to help and will do much to make me feel even more ashamed of myself than i already do." he stated with a sneer. trying to convince himself, more than her. a lifetime of hard lessons would do that to a man. "an intelligent mate is something all men should strive for. who wants to be with an incompetent who can hold no conversation?" he asked, wrinkling his nose. he shivered as she snuggled more firmly into him and he settled into place with her, sighing softly and closing his eyes. he felt... better than he ever had in a long time, and while he wouldn't cry, he felt better knowing that if he did break down, she wouldn't hold it against him.

he woke hours later with a violent jerk, reaching for something under his pillow and raising a hand to protect himself from a perceived attack. it took him several seconds to realize that he wasn't being attacked and he sighed and sagged back into the bed, settling a hand over his eyes. "Damn. that dream again." he grumbled, shaking his head. "i hate that dream." he grumbled as he slowly, carefully got to his feet, forgetting that he was sharing his bed with someone. it wasn't something that happened often. his bed partners where always gone by the time he woke up.
 
She woke up when he did, not with a start but slowly as she was not a morning person. Wrinkling her nose now, she rolled over and blinked a few times, mumbling in her half asleep state. "Mmm.... Loki? Something wrong?" she asked, her voice slurred as she sat up now. She rubbed her eyes tiredly with her bare hands before tilting her head to the side. She was starting to wake up a little more now, feeling a bit more alert as she did so. "You okay?" she asked, sliding out of the bed now only to realize she was naked. Blinking a few times she quickly pulled her clothes back on before coming to his side. "I think I heard you say something about a dream...? You want to talk about it? I could make you breakfast if you'd like," she offered with a small smile.
 
Loki yelped when she spoke and stared at her in a look that was clearly shock. "you're... still here..." he stated, baffled as he cocked his head to the side at her. "oh, i'm fine. it's just a regular old nightmare, i have it all the time." he admitted with a shrug. "the typical 'Odin is trying to kill me' dream. it's nothing to be concerned about." he promised watching her get dressed, completely unconcerned by his own nudity as he strode into the bathroom to give himself a quick wash. "i'd love something to eat." he agreed, uncertain how he was supposed to act now. Victoria had been the only person to ever stay in his bed and they hadn't exactly interacted in the mornings. she was always very grumpy when she woke up, and he didn't speak to her until lunch.

"you look like your feeling better this morning. has the pain gone?" he finally asked, concerned about her working while she wasn't feeling well. "perhaps you should lay back down?" he suggested. "i know how to use a Telephone at least, i can call that insufferable man of Red to come and bring you food." well, if he was willing to put up with Stark, he must really be worried about her.
 
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