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Proposal Game (Propose to the person above you)

*gets down on one knee* Trinket... I haven't known you very long... Well, at all really, but that's just a technicality... Anyhow... *sniffles* I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry... *snifflesniffeldeepbreath* Anyway... What I'm trying to say is... *sob* I... I love... *sobsob* I love pie! Marry me and we'll make many lovely pies together! *opens box to reveal vending machine ring*
 
No ponies, please. However, you will marry me. Know why? Because. I have your (insert valued item here). If you ever want your (insert valued item here) back, then you'll show up at the nearest church with an ordained priest. I'll be the one in a little black dress, and my dad'll be the one with a shotgun. Try not to be late. But don't worry, because if you are late, you're not the only one who's late. (Bonus points if you know where that comment came from.)
 
TheyDontKnowIBurn said:
No ponies, please. However, you will marry me. Know why? Because. I have your (insert valued item here). If you ever want your (insert valued item here) back, then you'll show up at the nearest church with an ordained priest. I'll be the one in a little black dress, and my dad'll be the one with a shotgun. Try not to be late. But don't worry, because if you are late, you're not the only one who's late. (Bonus points if you know where that comment came from.)
Jeff Dunham. :3

Now..seeing you with curlers in your hair and leaning up against the ferris wheel...making it tilt. It's a gorgeous sight. Marry me?​
 
There's no wedding like a redneck wedding. There'll be fried pork, steak and Coors Lite at the reception. We'll go down the isle in a raised Ford Ranger that hasn't met emissions standards for thirty years. I'll even wear my best Carhartts and a nice camouflage vest while I walk you down the isle. Be my trailer park honey forever?
 
You remember when we were out partying, havin' a good time and then you passed out? Well let's just say I made a deposit in a turkey baster and artificially inseminated you on the cheap. Shouldn't our new Snazzy-Zombies baby avoid the shame that is being a bastard?
 
You and me baby ain't nothing but Mammals so let's do it like they do it on the Discovery channel~ Naked and in a VOODOO RITUAL~ :D
 
I know what you're thinking, wood and fire is such a deadly combination. But the burn feels oh so good. Marry me. LET US MAKE FLAMING BROOM CHILDREN.
 
If it's burning, I'd have a doctor look at it. And if it feels good that it burns I'd have a shrink check that. Just so happens that I'm a self ordained doctor/shrink/priest. Where does the last come in, you ask? If you let me marry us, then you get the other to services for free. So marry me?
 
-kidnaps you and pulls out all your inner guts and turns your dead body into a lovely puppet-
Let me pull your strings forever and ever~
 
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