Interest Check: Fantasy/Political thriller

ChocolateStrawberry

ChocolateStrawberry

Supernova
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Story thread there: http://www.bluemoonroleplaying.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=12020


I just want to know if anyone is interested in this idea. The world it's based off of is a fantasy world for a novel I've had in the works since I was five. I'm not putting in the acutal story or the characters, just the setting and the boiling point. If i get enough people interested, I'd like to do this as an open roleplay.

Basic story:​

There are four kingdoms involved. Anstaria (situated in the middle of the map) has been at war for as long as anyone could remember with Loidi. The two kingdoms seemed to always butt heads, no matter the topic. Anstaria believed in protecting its women, while Loidi gave theirs more freedoms. Anstaria was pro-science and anti-magic, and Loidi still put stock in court wizards and healers. War tore the two kingdoms apart and the strain finally got to the respective kings.

Calling on a truce meeting, they invited two moderators from neighboring kingdoms. For Anstaria, the kingdom of Danbar is invited, their allies in the south. For Loidi, it was a surprise when they arrived with delegates from Goldspar, a warring kingdom to the far north that is in a constant state of politica upheaval. Both mediators have reasons for the status quo to continue and keep the truce from being signed.

The Kingdoms:​

Anstaria (Anstarians)​

This is the most rigid kingdom of the four kingdoms. As the loser of the long-ago war that started this mess, they took several steps to never have that problem. After the end of the Hexen wars, Anstaria outlawed magic in all forms. They formed the Ritter Hex, special knights who hunt down any rumors of magic in the boundaries of the kingdom and erradicate it. They are the toughest warriors, and the products of nightmares. After the break of the kingdom, causing the princess to run off with a wizard and forming her own land of Hekata, the ruling Anstarian king had a wall built around the kingdom to keep out the evil influences of the other kingdoms. In time, only Danbar and a few other select kingdoms were let inside.

Women do not have much freedom. They must, at all times, be escorted when they leave. The women's quarters are always found away from the men unless he calls for his wife. A woman can own land if her husband is dead, but it is highly advisable for her to remarry quickly. The poor have more freedom then nobility, where women can work beside her husband and even have the run of the home.

Anstaria is ruled by the king and his son. The daughter is prized by her family and knows she will never inherit the throne and a perfect marriage is one that wouldn't jeopedize the throne of her homeland.

Loidi (Loidites)​

The near polar opposite of Anstaria. As the winner of the Hexen War, they enjoy the magic and prestigue of their victory. They are very pro-magic, more so then any other kingdom. Magic is a way of life, and they look down on the Anstarians for their superstition (who, in turn, look down on the Loidites for being agents of evil). Through magic, they claim to be able to do anything that the science of Anstaria can do. When the idea of the truce came through, the prince of Loidi saw it as a great way to gain control over their enemies once he found out about the princess. However, he isn't stingy on how he gets to the Anstarian throne and is willing to settle, if need be, on using magic to get them to give up their kingdom and end the fighting.

Women in Loidi are equal to the men. They have the same freedoms as the men. They can own land and trade property and even fight in the army. They have a chance to get as much education as a man.

The ruling family of Loidi is the king, queen, the elder son and the younger son (who is training to be a wizard) and the uncle.

Danbar (Danbarians)​

This kingdom has enjoyed exclusive trading rights with Anstaria. A kingdom that does rely on magic, but enjoys the scientific advances of Anstaria. Their women have some freedoms, but not as much as Loidi. The women can own land and property, but their education is restricted and it is encouraged that they marry and stay with a man for protection.

Goldspar (Goldsparites)​

This kingdom is untrustworthy. Always in a political upheaval, they have a new ruling party nearly every year. Magic and assassinations are the norm. They are greedy and manipulative. The current ruler wants the rich land of Loidi, but will take Anstaria if they can. To get this, they are hoping to convince the two kingdoms that peace is out of the question, and pitting the delegates and hormonally driven heirs against each other seems to be a good idea.


Cast of Characters: (my profiles for the characters will be in the next post)

Anstaria:
King -
Queen -
Prince/Heir - Gavin (ChocolateStrawberry)
Princess - Dione (ChocolateStrawberry)
Ritter Hex (if any) - Ser Gareth Eloran (GammaHeart)
Nobels (if any) -
Servants (if any) -

Loidi:​
King -
Prince/Heir - Prince Tansen Haron (Skelace)
Younger Prince - Deston (Skelace)
Uncle - Alastor (Crazy Shank)
Advisors -
Bodyguards - Lana (Crazy Shank)

Danbar:​
Delegates - Lord Martinez (Arc)
Bodyguards -
Soldiers -
Servants -

Goldspar:​
Delegates - Lady Masako (Raiden)
Valere de Morhban (Nihil)
Honoré de Morhban. (Temera)
Bodyguards - Reina Nilan (Raiden)
Wizards -
Soldiers -
Servants -
 
o_O "One of those fools?" Explain yourself.

And I'm well-aware of what they mean. A formalized contest to see who's the better consisting of the use of either long swords or rapiers without outside interference. Winner is determined the old navy way: first guy to die loses. Unless it's stated before it ever starts that it would not be to the death, in which case it's the first person that gives in whom loses.
 
True. but sometimes first blood often lead to first fatality if the first blow struck was aimed at vital points of the body.

And Nihil. I like weapon use as much as the next guy but again: it's all personal preference and contextual setting.
 
I say, when the duel is declared we shall have Prince Gavin decide the means by which it is to be conducted.

Though I am not fearful for loss of life.
 
And I am. I don't see the point in having lethal bouts when they aren't required. That and it's a pain in the ass to pull out another character sometimes.
 
I have one more character slot left in my mindset, since I tend to play trios of characters. (I believe three is a lucky number I suppose).

And you're getting a little ahead of yourself there mon. I've given quite a bit of thought to the two characters I have now. I wanted something a little unusual and one that went against the accepted norms.
 
I bet you anything I've considered far more things relevant to the plot of the rp then you.

Hell, I think that should Valere die I'll create a Danbar character.
 
Pft. While that's all good for you. I'm naturally being plagued with self-doubt and second-guesses already. All I can do right now is adapt to what would be relevant to the plot.
 
Don't get me wrong Gamma, so weird typing that, I like plate armour, a lot.

When I made the disparaging remark about it I was referring to the standard fantasy female plate armour which doesn't cover anything but provides maximum lift to the cleavage.
 
Well Gamma, if you're willing to NPC a Ritter I'm sure we can work something out as I've been talking with CS over a few ideas.
 
I'd play the Ritters. Eloran is their leader, after all, besides maybe this palace's resident Captain of the Guard. My character ranks above him and has special secret agent privileges though, so while I'm around, I'm in charge of the Ritters. :D


Oh, and some character development in this poooost. :p
 
I think it's more your word order; but I'm not sure what Tem is thinking.

If it's the word tense then I have no grounds to say anything because I switch so frequently.
 
A little bit here and there. It's just confusing. You're using present tense even though you're describing a succession of events. Generally a past tense works better for fluidity's sake. Like your first paragraph:

Ser Eloran instead has(had) the men on Masako, Reina, and the Loidites, one covering each hallway and stationing men in four corners of the meeting rooms. He sends(t) one man to relay orders to the garrison; that they need another few men to cover the rest of the hallways. He has(had) spread out the guard, but they are no less (an) ubiquitous sight around the palace. There are plenty of men to see everything, and to call reinforcements from adjacent rooms, while not specifically following the guests and putting them at unease.
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The past just sounds better if you read it aloud (Like I tend to do, to understand writing better). I don't mean to nitpick; I have my grammar faults as well. As you're getting to a point in your narrative where you're going to stop, it makes sense to ease into a sort of 'present' tense. Like how I shifted the last paragraph. Again, these are just my thoughts. I could be completely loopy. I just know that changing those small things made it easier for me to read.

He himself follows(ed) Gavin, a white shadow behind his Prince. He watches(ed), uninterested, as the Comtesses present(ed) their gifts to him. It annoys(ed) him a little when they flirt(ed) with his Prince, but he has (had) become used to the feeling, and only sighs. He (then) asks a nearby servant to please dispose of the end of his cigarette, which has(had, since it happened in the past) burnt down almost past his visor.
Click to expand...

Bold is my suggested removal, while ( ) are my suggested additions.
 
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