Love begets hate

Bellatrix had frozen when he grabbed her arm tugging her to a stop, it reminded her of all those years ago, when they were friends who developed more. A shiver shook her, they could barely talk to one another so to actually touch the other was hard. "Lucius let go of my arm...now." She calmly stated unable to be her normal barky self at the moment. As much as her eyes wanted to show hate and despair not wanting to be hurt anymore, they were sad, pained, and hurt, though her face stayed cold. Bellatrix was still slightly guant from her years in Askaban, she was healthy now but needed to gain a few more pounds to be fully restored to her normal look. She looked directly into his eyes for the first time in lord knows when. He was troubled he didn't show it but his eyes did. She nodded she knew how persistant he could get almost exactly like Cissa. "Tell him not to fall in love, makes life easier and so he won't feel pain. We can't lie to him for long he'll find out eventually..." Stated Bella, thinking she didn't know what to do, it's not like she ever had to do such, almost as if there telling a child Santa isn't real.
 
Lucius flinhed,letting her go.Taking the words as she regretted ever loving him.Sighing softly as he turned so he wasn't looking at her, leaning against the doorframe to let her get by him."He wont bother you again.I'll talk to him."he said softly brushing his hair out of his face before moving to leave her there.
 
Bellatrix saw that something she said had hurt him, which in turn hurt her, she bit down on her lip. "Lucius, look at me...Pl..pl..please." She stated "please" was a word she hadn't said in a long time. "What will you tell him?...For your information I like when he bothers me, because.....Nevermind." She asked, she became slightly hot headed, If only he knew, but he didn't cause Narcissa didn't even know no body but Bella's and Rudolfus's parents and themself knew. At times she view draco like a son after losing her own child.
 
Lucius's eyes went a little wide at hearing please before looking at her, smiling sadly before shrugging."I'll tell him the truth.He wont accept anything else."He said studying her. Wishing he had the right to ask the questions that tore his heart apart.But...he couldn't. Not when she looked so hurt.So sad.he couldn't ask the questions that would just hurt her worse.
 
Bellatrix's dark eye's went wide as he said that he would tell him the truth, but then realized it would be best. "Alright...Do you want me to tell him instead? I mean if he hates you for telling him that would be heart breaking, but if he hates me then...well thats a different story, You're his father I'm his Aunt....He looks up to you, you know?" She asked then rambled a bit, it was good to talk to him without trying to hate him. She studied him as he studied her, "You know, Lucius...even after all these years I can still tell when somethings bothering you..." She stated a slight smile crept to her face.
 
Lucius looked startled,by both her words and her offer."I know he does.And...I couldnt deal with him hating me."He smiled slightly, knowing she'd seen some of what was bothering him.And it bothered him that he couldn't help her the same she was helping him."Please. Talk to draco,and...I probably should tell cissy I'm telling him."He said with a sigh making a face
 
For once since the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters were around she was being normal, not the crazy killing, physco everyone knew her as. "It's settled then you talk to Cissy...I'll talk to Draco." Stated Bellatrix, she didn't want Draco to hate her either, but she didn't want Lucius to go through that. Though it was slight, Bella had a real happy thought, because of his smile,her smile brightened a bit as a result. Bella took a step closer to him,reaching her hand to his shoulder but then hesitated, she rolled her eyes 'the hell with it,' Bella patted his shoulder also as a comfort saying it would be okay. Bellatrix then took a step back looking at him still saddend, she closed her eye's, when Bella opened them her crazy wild eyes were back, and her face was cold and uncaring, as if they hadn't spoken at all. "Draco?...Where are you?" She called in her sweet sing song voice passing Lucius to find his son.
 
Lucius rolled his eyes a little.Having gotten used to the craziness changing to calm then back again.Sighing softly he went in search of his wife.

"Yes aunt bella?"Draco said as he poked his head out of the library, his book place held as he held the book at his side. Looking at her curiously wondering what his crazy aunt could want from him. Fighring she wouldnt be just telling him what was going on."Did you need something?"
 
She saw Draco's head pop out of the library, and her heart started to pound in her chest. Bellatrix walked over to him, "We need to talk...Is anyone in there with you?" she asked then walked inside looking around. Seeing no one she sat down in a chair. "Draco do you know how it feels to love and be loved in return?" She asked him it was random and she still looked crazy but as she continued talking her eyes went back to normal. "It's the most amazing feeling in the world." Bella sounded sick for once talking about love instead of hate. "I was in love once it was 20 years ago now...I wasn't in love with the Dark Lord or Rudolfus for that matter, he was a good guy but I loved another." She went on "This was before I married my husband." Bellatrix sighed this was harder than she thought."I was deeply in love with your father and he with me, we were always together, we even spoke about marriage, we were in Hogwarts at the time, at the end of our final year your father was given terrible news, and he told me...We had marriage contracts under our parents with other people pure bloods of course. My parents signed me to be with Rudolfus, and Signed your mother to be with Lucius we tried to get out of it, to no avail. Couple years later when you were born I was sentenced to Askaban, where I lost my, ch....mind for 14 years, then the Dark Lord saved me. I still love your father,dont tell a soul I just said that understand? but it's better to be feared and hated then loved, it hurts less. Well now you know the dirty secret that has haunted us for years...any questions?" She asked watching Draco for reactions.
 
Draco was silent and still, so like lucius in miniture perfection, a silent reflection of the man lucius could have been, had grief at losing his beloved not made the elder malfoy truly cold. Eyebrows pulling together silently as he considered the words, resting his chin on his hand as he leaned back in his chair."If you cannot be loved, fear will do."He laughed softly."So very machivillan of you aunt mine."He said before focusing again. Turning over the words, seeing what was unsaid, but not going to say it. not yet. Before smiling softly, sadly. "Did....did he regret living this life?"He said wondering if that was the secret behind his father's silent grief, the pain that laid behind Lucius's pain. Not that he had to marry his love's sister only, but regretting having the child that should have been bellatrix's, had matters fallen out differently.
 
He looked so much like his father did when he was young it was startling. He hadn't been hurt by anything really tragic so he still had that beautiful life still in his eyes. "It makes me feel better, why do you think I enjoy watching or seeing others suffer it's not right no but it's how it is..plus I have a few screws loose remember?" She stated seriously then joked about her being crazy, which she was but she portraid it as if she was completely mental. Bellatrix turned her head to the side as she thought, she didn't know. "Sweety...I don't know, besides doing the Dark Lords work, Tonight was the first night that we have had a civil actual conversation....I don't believe so, He...adore's my sister...and he loves you so much Draco, you're his pride and joy, he wants whats best for you as does Narcissa and as do I..." A few tears fell from Bella's eyes not intending them to fall, she brought her hand up under her eye then looked at it a minute. She hadn't been able to talk to anyone about this plus she never spoke many of her feelings, she kept them bottled up so she couldn't be hurt.
 
Draco bit his lip as he thought, looking so...hurt.Like even with the assurance, he was a child who wanted to know his father still loved him, despite wht had led to his birth.Shifting he wrapped his arms around his aunt, resting his cheek on her shoulder as he hugged her tighter.He knew she joked,and did have a few screws loose, but she wasn't as insane as she liked to let the world believe. he knew that. "He wont leave me?"he muttered,sounding so much like a child seeking reassuane that it almost hurt to hear it out of the 18 year old's mouth.
 
Bellatrix knew that face, so twisted, so pained, it was a similar face Lucius had made so many years ago. Bella tensed slightly as he hugged her, not being use to physical interaction. She couldn't remember the last time she was hugged, he hugged her like his father used to. With Draco's question Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Draco cradling him, this was new to her, Bellatrix had motherly instincts but never got the chance to act upon them, besides helping Draco with homework and teaching him a variety of spells. Bellatrix bit her lip, his words nearly cut her like a knife. Her lips quivered, she was trying to stay as strong as she could for him, but the tears had already started and she wasn't sure if she could contain them. "No Draco dear...of course he wouldn't leave you, you're his world, he loves you more than life, more than wealth, more than power, your father isn't leaving anyone love....The only one he left was me...but that wasn't his fault nor mine." She explained hoping to help ease the young Malfoy's pain, he was taking it better than she thought he would. Her grip tightened slightly around the boy resting her cheek upon his head. Bella's once trapped and contained tears flowed silently, she never wanted to let Draco see her cry, the woman who could feel nothing but hate, anger, who never shed a tear when someone died, most of the time laughing as if it was a game.
 
Draco shuddered as he hugged her tightly, feeling the tears soaking his hair. Laughing softly as he sniffled, trying to hide his own."If you get snot in my hair aunt bella,I'm going to tell mother."He teased leaning back gently wiping her tears off. Pain more then his own filling his face, pained because he'd caused this, he'd caused the tears. And she was the one person besides his own mother that he never wanted to make cry.
 
She held onto him petting his hair trying to sooth him, she knew he was hurting in different ways. Bella looked at him as he laughed, she could hear him sniffle but said nothing. Bellatrix smiled at him, "Don't you dare tell your mother I was crying...expecailly to you. Plus there's no shot in your hair if there was you'd be green..."She joked back trying to make him feel better. "I'm sorry Draco...I don't want you to think less of me because I'm sitting here crying, as it is I'm shocked at how well your taking this...I figured you'd hate me or you father, because of it." She stated quite matter of factly wiping her tears away.
 
Draco frowned a little, tilting his head as he let her have the dignity of her tears, letting her pretend they weren't there as he looked out the window.Biting his lip a little, looking so innocently young, because his father had long tried to correct the habit, and he had for the most part. And yet when he was feeling extreme emotions, he bit his lip."No...despite what he wanted,and what you wanted, you did the honorable thing, no matter how heartbreaing."He said looking away as he stared out the window."That's....I dont understand it. Despite my own life existing because of it, I don't know if it was the right choice. But I cant hate you for it, not when I know how much it hurt to live with it."
 
It pained Bella to see him hurt, she didn't like seeing certain people in pain, and he was one of them. He did look so young as he bit his lip, it was slightly unnerving to see. "Yes....We did what was expected of us, We made our pureblood marriages and kept to our contracts. Not like we really had a choice." She paused a moment feeling like the tears were going to fall again. "What don't you understand?" She asked curiosly maybe she missed something. "Oh....Well we can't change it now..can we? Weather it was right or wrong, I've wondered that same question for years. Plus you were born and I'm hsppy about that, you're my favorite nefew." A few tears fell from her eyes again. "...Thank you..." She said almost choking on her words, She was happy that he didn't hate her or was mad at her. "Well we better get back to the meeting before someone realizes we've been gone." She stated wiping away her tears.
 
Draco's smile was quick and fast as he stood, straightening out impeccable clothes."Ah, me and mother are leaving soon in moments anyways. Mother wants to get some new clothing, and see how the public is handing the newest attack."He smirked a little laughing quietly as he moved towards the door. "She trusts father to bring news of how the ministry and its workers are dealing, but she wants to see personally how the public is doing.After all, interesting things happen when people are frightened."
 
Bellatrix stood straightening out her own clothing from sitting the way she was was. "Oh...Yes my sister loves to shop, she always had. Expecially for clothes, just be careful." She stated with a smile, listening to Draco. "Ah I see nosie, nosie, nosie....Oh trust me Draco I know, when more than half of the wizarding world shutters at your name...it gets interesting." She chuckled a bit, doing one last wipe under her eyes she followed Draco to the door."Don't trouble yourself over all of this, okay? Nothing can be done about it...it happened so long ago. It just how it is." Bella explained, putting her hand on his shoulder before heading back to the group.
 
Draco smirked. Oh well, he was never good at following orders.

After the meeting Lucius sighed softly as he sank into his chair by the fire,closing his eyes. Both death eaters and master gone for the evening. Lord knew where,Voldemort was probably causing havoc. But for the moment, all hte elder malfoy cared about, was that he had his manor home to himself.Well.Almost anyways, but close enough for Bellatrix was avoiding him.Even if she was waiting because Rudolphus had business to attend to, and she didn't want to go with him.

Sipping the whiskey and coke in his hand he sighed,feeling at both relaxed and preplexed. Annoyed at over the thoughts that continuely tugged at his heart.
 
Bellatrix walked out with the rest of them following the Dark Lord, bidding him a safe travel. Rudolfus had other things to do and she didn't wait to go with him. Narcissa took Draco shopping so it was her and Lucius. Indeed she was avioding Lucius, she tended to unable to really be with him expecially when alone. At least when others were around she had a cold uncaring facade but without the others she knew she'd melt. Bellatrix walked off after the rest of the death eater had left.

Bellatrix wandered back to the meeting room, she needed to just tell him that she had spoke to Draco, after that she'd go off somewhere probably the libaray. She saw him with is glass, in his chair relaxing by the fire. The door was still opened, so she knocked on the side paneling. Not waiting to see if he'd look or speak, She just was out with it. "I've spoken to Draco..."
 
Despite not reacting otherwise, Lucius's hand tightened around his glass, the only betrayal of the nerves and pain that was hitting him. Truly afraid of what his son thought of him."Well...seeing as he's still talking to me, I assume he took it well?"He asked, voice light and amused even if he was feeling neither. The long act of pretending something wasn't bothering him long ago perfected.
 
"Yes, he took it fine, better than I had expected....he might talk to you about regretting what had happened and whether you love him or not....I reassured him that you love him with all of your heart. He just doesn't want to lose you. I also told him not to worry about it...it happened so long ago." She stated her voice was soft, whisperlike as if she couldn't talk any louder than that. "he also saw a side of me that now one ever see's, not even Rudolfus." Bella said, he had seen it, her family now including Draco had, but she didn't want to flat out say that she had cried. "Well I'll leave you to your quite relaxation." She stated turning to walk off.
 
"Bella?"Lucius's soft voice called her back,grey eyes open to look at the woman he had loved."Sit.Enjoy the evening with me."He said, almost to begging for her company, but not yet.Not that desperate yet to convince her to stay."WE don't have to talk.Or to do anything.Just...pass the evening with me."he said, relieved beyond words tht his son wasnt mad at him.And for that, he was asking something he hadnt dared to ask before
 
Bellatrix stopped once hearing her name, turning back around. Her heart had stopped, frozen in its beats. 'Stay... in here...with him? Lucius...wants me..to stay..in here..with him.' She thought she couldn't find words to express, she was happy but sad. A moment of silence passed, "Lucius...I...I...can't...you know that." She stated heart broken, she wanted to, dhe really did but to sit would be too emotionalm, for her. Bella felt as if she was going to cry again.
 
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