IRL Gender

[EtherealElvenEmpress]

I will play with everyone. But I adore variation.

I will never turn anyone down for their gender, but will admit to being more excited to write with a gender I haven't written with for a while.

In the end the writing is what's most important to me. If you're good, then I'll write with you. Which is kind of fucked up of me, isn't it? Some people will never write in a fitting way to me, they were born that way, while people do change their genders.

Also, since I only write in public threads, I guess I do discriminate against people who won't.

Welcome to the public threads only club! *gives you a gold medal because secretly it’s just chocolate inside* it’s not discrimination it’s a preference

 

[Verse]

Thanks!

I discriminate against others preference haha

 

[Lurker]

It's interesting how things have changed on BMR. People used to care a lot about gender, particularly women. That seems to be a thing of the past.

I am pretty sure that it is still the case, just that people with strong gender preferences are either not aware of this thread or choose not to disclose their opinions for fear of a public backlash.

 

[Bejeweled]

Even for those who make their gender public, you can't know they're telling the truth. I've had writers (on this site and off) admit to me that they listed their gender as something different than what they identify with just to widen their potential pool of partners. You're never going to know if that person you're writing with is really the gender they say they are, so in my opinion, it's a bit silly to care about it.

I'm a woman, but I write both men and women and often find that my partners I play male with compliment my writing and state that I'm just as good as (if not better than, in some cases) some males writing male characters. If you're a good writer, you're a good writer; gender is irrelevant in my opinion.

 

[Lurker]

Even for those who make their gender public, you can't know they're telling the truth.
[...]
I'm a woman

Or so you claim

Joking aside, I really do not mind. Some of my online friends use a differently-gendered persona online, and while I am aware of their real life gender, I prefer to suspend my disbelief and accept that they are who they present as (sometimes even nonhuman; one of my best online friends is a pixie).

In effect, I treat their real and fictional identities as separate people, and out interaction is akin to an RP (or when we are actually roleplaying, an RP within and RP). Though it is kind of funny in a way when the conversation touches on real-life situations, and my mind makes a seamless switch between them. I guess having an overactive immersive imagination has its benefits

 

[Seranda]

Nah, doesn't matter. I take whatever gender you introduce yourself with at face value.

 

[VanityFair]

Question. IRL gender. Does it matter to you?

Not really, it's about the plausibility of the plot, convincingly written characters and good prose as well as descriptions.

Too much emphasis is being put on the RL gender IMO.

 

[SithRebel]

When I first started with ERP, I did so on Discord. That was probably a mistake. lol. Or maybe I got unlucky. Who knows. I brought it up because 90% of the time, gender mattered for the reasons most think. I even got hit on a couple of times. When I moved to play-by-post forums like BMRP, gender didn't matter as much. As a guy who writes both male and female characters, straight or gay, I have had many wonderful experiences here.

 

[Silvered Sutures]

I absolutely do not care so long as the relationship remains "RP partners" or "Friends". It only becomes an issue if my partner gets attached to me IRL and expects more out of the RP relationship.

 

[Felwaur]

It doesn't and I don't see why it should.

 

[Lyvie]

Not in the least. If we become good writing partners with a mutual respect for each other, have a great story and characters that are interesting, I would say that's a win and what's more important.

 

[obieblu]

Back in the day when the internet was new and most of my system RP partners were goth girls playing femme vampire guys.. yeah, I could totally tell when it was someone not familiar with being a man was writing their "man fanfic". I loved my partners and enjoyed playing, but the contrast with the occasional male partner was obvious.

After a very long break and finding these sorts of non-system forums, it's been rare that I could really the difference between a male or female partner playing a male character. If someone states their sex/gender it in their RT, I forget it immediately. I never ask. I never bring it up in OOC. I'm absolutely ambivalent.

I appreciate that for female players, there can be a sense of threat or power dynamic with a male partner. I've experienced creepy male players that I ended up blocking. I respect if a female player prefers female partners. I don't think I've been declined for being male, but that's probably because a gay dude is lower risk of getting creepy with a female partner. Regardless, I respect that players have comfort preferences.

Interestingly, I've had a large percentage of partners eventually tell me they were trans. I had no inkling while playing, but in hindsight there were sometimes a few hints IC, but nothing that was exclusive to trans partners. *shrug*