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IRL Gender

No, it doesn’t matter to me.

I do not mind if a woman play as a male character even, i say, it could be fun.
 
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By the way, maybe it’s just me, but i fail to see how the real gender of someone is revelant in any RPs.

It’s like expecting a voice-actor or voice-actress to have the exact same ethnicity as the characters they are voicing.

In both cases, it’s done for fun, besides, litterally everyone are roleplaying their oposite gender throught their character(s).

It was already that way when i started myself.
 
snicker-sage said:
but i fail to see how the real gender of someone is revelant in any RPs.
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I would think it is relevant when it comes to a person's preferences.

it could be that the person had a bad experience with a certain gender and prefers to play with one over the other. It could be that they feel that the gender of the person is better played out as their gender or something along those lines. The same could be said for individuals who prefer to write against Non-Furries/Antrhos, or only with those types of characters. Or it could be that they are just more comfortable with one or the other.

As long as the individual is being respectful and doing what is comfortable for them, other's preferences should be their own, just like opinions.


To answer the question for myself:
I've no real preference. I generally won't bother asking, either. I've written with both female and male characters/individuals and found that just like anything else, there are some good ones and some that need a bit of work.
 
Ech0 said:
I would think it is relevant when it comes to a person's preferences.

it could be that the person had a bad experience with a certain gender and prefers to play with one over the other. It could be that they feel that the gender of the person is better played out as their gender or something along those lines. The same could be said for individuals who prefer to write agains Non-Furries/Antrhos, or only those types of characters. Or it could be that they are just more comfortable with one or the other.

As long as the individual is being respectful and doing what is comfortable for them, other's preferences should be their own, just like opinions.


To answer the question for myself:
I've no real preference. I generally won't bother asking, either. I've written with both female and male characters/individuals and found that just like anything else, there are some good ones and some that need a bit of work.
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Back then, nobody cared if you were male or female, the only revelant thing was the character(s) you play as.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Nowadays, it is expected to have a character to match the real gender, thing that i do not recall seeing anywhere.

The smut genre was controlled better, also.

If i wanted to have a match between player and character, i’d go on a dating site instead of a roleplaying one.

Not to mention how any males characters are tossed asides, just because some are only interacting with only one gender, which is trully not fair at all.

Roleplaying is about sharing, not restricting.
 
snicker-sage said:
Back then, nobody cared if you were male or female, the only revelant thing was the character(s) you play as.

Nothing more, nothing less.
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I'm not discounting that, as it is how it should be. But, sadly, not all view it as such. 🤷‍♀️ Not everyone is completely open to everything, so respect of preferences is usually warranted.

The wonderful thing I've learned about this hobby is there are a lot of people one can choose from to write with that blend with one's own comfort levels.
 
Ech0 said:
I'm not discounting that, as it is how it should be. But, sadly, not all view it as such. 🤷‍♀️ Not everyone is completely open to everything, so respect of preferences is usually warranted.

The wonderful thing I've learned about this hobby is there are a lot of people one can choose from to write with that blend with one's own comfort levels.
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I feel like this hobby (assuming it’s still treated as such), went trully downhill to me by 2018-2019.

I can respect a preference, but if it’s an excuse to reject anyone else, let’s say that i wouldn’t see a reason to, anymore.

I saw quite a bunch turning horribly due to that alone, and it’s spreading in a lot of places.
 
I’ve seen the ugly side of that preference. Sadly I’ve been treated badly when a guy thought I was male. I’m not but damn ppl get mad if you don’t bleed once a month.

I don’t care as long as they can write but when the preference turns discriminatory I don’t want anything thing to do it’s that human.
 
I don't ever ask the gender of the person I am writing with. What they have between their legs isn't my business. But, as it turns out, men who can write interesting and intelligent submissive female characters are few and far between. I think and assume that I've mostly been writing with people who identify as women. Considering how many of my partners rant about their cycle at some point...

Any and all preferences someone has inevitably limit the pool of people they can write with. The more preferences you have and the more strict preferences you have, the smaller the pool gets. This, however, is a personal choice that I wouldn't outright judge.
 
some people definitely feel more comfortable writing with someone who's the same sex as their characters; other people don't care. i wouldn't say the hobby has gone down, i think personal experiences differ to the next.

personally, i write both sides of the coin, and i personally feel i write better for dudes than chicks - despite being a chick. and since i write for both genders, i'd be a huge hypocrite if i ever said someone had to stick to their real life gender for their in character gender.

either way, people have preferences in everything, and they're entitled to it. for role playing especially, it takes two (or more) to tango. and you can't tango if you put off your partner(s).
 
As long it’s not used to discriminate others, i can respect that without problems.

No "if" or "but" even, no demonization, just that: respect.

It’s earned, thought.
 
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I don't really have a preference as long as the person writes their character convincingly. That said, in my experience some people are just not capable of writing cross gender well. They tend to fall into the stereotype trap, and it shows.

I can't personally recall a specific instance where I encountered this from a male writing a female character... But I have written with a lot of women playing male characters, and I myself have written male characters. While some of these experiences have been great, most women writing as men tend to either go way over the top with the whole "alpha male" thing or they come across way too effeminate.
 
I don't have a strong feeling about it one way or another. I will say though, I almost exclusively focus on M x F plots and I find that I adore female writing as males. As I write this I see Pretty's last few lines and I can see their point and could agree, but some of that is what appeals to me at times.

In the end though, I think as long as it isn't discrimination, whatever someone likes is just simply that. Liking and disliking things is how we are written and changing that can be hard.
 
In the past I used to care for no good reason honestly. I would just feel off sometimes, but I would say now, it doesn't matter to me and if anything I try and avoid asking someone their gender just because at the end of the day. It shouldn't matter and I don't wanna treat anyone unfairly even by accident.

Just adding. This was also when i was younger and much newer to RP. Older now so maturity has played a decent factor.
 
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I don't care about my writing partners gender. Only situation where I do is if my partner wants me to use a certain pronoun of them, and usually they bring that up in their introduction and tell it to me straight.

While I understand there are extremely valid reasons for person to exclusively play with certain genders (be that trauma for example) I do see it as a red-flag. I have not disclosed my gender on forum. I think only two of my partners know it since I only disclose it to those I feel comfortable doing so, and previously revealing my gender has led to some not-so-fun situations, so that experience combined with the image of someone picturing of getting something more than a roleplaying-partner, or platonic friend out of me makes me immediately decline requests from people who are too hung-up on my gender.
 
Baka said:
I do see it as a red-flag. I have not disclosed my gender on forum. I think only two of my partners know it since I only disclose it to those I feel comfortable doing so, and previously revealing my gender has led to some not-so-fun situations, so that experience combined with the image of someone picturing of getting something more than a roleplaying-partner, or platonic friend out of me makes me immediately decline requests from people who are too hung-up on my gender.
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I think it's a very healthy way to handle it. Personally I do not care for a partner's gender, and also find it sus at the very least when people ask for RL GRILLS or 'proof' their MxF partner is one.

Who the fuck are you to think that I'd send a picture of my face to a complete stranger? I barely send pictures of myself to friends, though my closest network of partners knows what I look like, and one of them has managed to get me to VC with them a couple of times over the years.

Honestly, if people are hung up on a person's gender on the other screen (aside from valid reasons like those mentioned before), it's a 'them' problem rather than mine for 'leading them on' (read : having a PP but opting to write as a woman, and vice-versa), and it's always a treat to witness a meltdown, not so much to be the target of one.
 
Baka said:
I don't care about my writing partners gender. Only situation where I do is if my partner wants me to use a certain pronoun of them, and usually they bring that up in their introduction and tell it to me straight.

While I understand there are extremely valid reasons for person to exclusively play with certain genders (be that trauma for example) I do see it as a red-flag. I have not disclosed my gender on forum. I think only two of my partners know it since I only disclose it to those I feel comfortable doing so, and previously revealing my gender has led to some not-so-fun situations, so that experience combined with the image of someone picturing of getting something more than a roleplaying-partner, or platonic friend out of me makes me immediately decline requests from people who are too hung-up on my gender.
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I met quite a lot who were only willing to interact with women, and that wasn’t due to any traumas at all, but smut only.

Also their ways of "flirting" ugh..

i could see what they posted on some comments to others, it was baffling to watch..

A bunch of "interesting" individuals who don’t know anything about "boundaries", which is extremly important, but constantly dismissed for "reasons".
 
snicker-sage said:
I met quite a lot who were only willing to interact with women, and that wasn’t due to any traumas at all, but smut only.

Also their ways of "flirting" ugh..

i could see what they posted on some comments to others, it was baffling to watch..

A bunch of "interesting" individuals who don’t know anything about "boundaries", which is extremly important, but constantly dismissed for "reasons".
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That makes a lot of sense to why someone decided to lash out when they thought I was male because they thought they were playing with a female and I’m a lady but I tend to change my profile pictures to characters I like so apparently klaus As a profile picture made me a guy and he got mad that I wasn’t a girl even though he didn’t take the time to actually read my information but that makes sense and at least the red flag is flying really clearly so I can see thank you for clarifying that now I understand why they get mad and scream at me in all caps
 
EtherealElvenEmpress said:
That makes a lot of sense to why someone decided to lash out when they thought I was male because they thought they were playing with a female and I’m a lady but I tend to change my profile pictures to characters I like so apparently klaus As a profile picture made me a guy and he got mad that I wasn’t a girl even though he didn’t take the time to actually read my information but that makes sense and at least the red flag is flying really clearly so I can see thank you for clarifying that now I understand why they get mad and scream at me in all caps
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I think the other got no valid reasons to lash out, nothing prevent him to RP either way.

Some guys, thought i met quite a bunch of ladies who weren’t any better..

Then again, it was a cursed place with no redemptions, nothing to save.
 
snicker-sage said:
I think the other got no valid reasons to lash out, nothing prevent him to RP either way.

Some guys, thought i met quite a bunch of ladies who weren’t any better..

Then again, it was a cursed place with no redemptions, nothing to save.
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Go back and hide my gender but it’s a little late for that I tend to play only women because I am one so I guess the cats out of the bag there.

I’m not saying women can’t be mean and spiteful but from my end I only see the guys and that usually makes me a bit more careful about picking partners.

I know every bushel of apples has rotten ones I just have to be hyper vigilant
 
This maybe a hot take but I feel like people caring about their partners IRL gender are in it for the wrong reasons...

At least that has been my experience to the topic over the years.
 
EtherealElvenEmpress said:
Go back and hide my gender but it’s a little late for that I tend to play only women because I am one so I guess the cats out of the bag there.

I’m not saying women can’t be mean and spiteful but from my end I only see the guys and that usually makes me a bit more careful about picking partners.

I know every bushel of apples has rotten ones I just have to be hyper vigilant
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I’m kind of picky myself, it’s nearly impossible to write in peace with anyone, sadly..

I’m checking what i should know, informations and stuffs, how the other introduced themselves to me.

Thought, throught the years, i managed to dodge a lot of bullets, like not inviting another elsewhere and such..
 
snicker-sage said:
I’m kind of picky myself, it’s nearly impossible to write in peace with anyone, sadly..

I’m checking what i should know, informations and stuffs, how the other introduced themselves to me.

Thought, throught the years, i managed to dodge a lot of bullets, like not inviting another elsewhere and such..
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Let’s just say we’re both trained from the matrix to dodge bullets and it’s quite helpful when we can stay strong out there buddy
 
EtherealElvenEmpress said:
Let’s just say we’re both trained from the matrix to dodge bullets and it’s quite helpful when we can stay strong out there buddy
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Even if i met some who hated the fact that i RP as males characters, i had nothing to justify, it makes me happy? Yes, and i intend to keep it that way.

When you stick at your joy, why anyone would try to break that?
Jealousy perhaps? Or something else..

But whatever it is, nothing should be forced, roleplaying is mutual after all, but both players are choosing what they have a preference for.

By sticking to what i like, yes, i dodged a lot of bullets and i cannot be more happier about that.
 
most who care about the gender tend to use RP/ERP as a means of sexual release. At least, the ones I have come across. I do not write erp for any sort of sexual gain, other than to get better at writing it, cos well, sex sells in the book/entertainment world. The better one is at writing sex, the more money they can make when it comes to book releases, movie deals.

^That's why I write it. I could care less what one is packing in their pants in the real world as long as what I write is entertaining and serves its purpose. That isn't the same with others as mentioned who use erp as a means of sexual release...

gender is relative depending on the purpose in which the topic is being used for. <shrugs> just my 2 cents
 
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