𝕬 𝕽𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝕸𝖆𝖞 | Potentially NSFW, comments welcome

[Cantarella]

Managed The Edge of the World last night before bed, but nothing else. Nothing tonight, and it may be that way unless I manage one more thing. Been irritable all day, for many reasons. Nothing from any of you though, none of any of you have wronged me in any way. Y'all are lovely, and I adore each of you ever so much, and I thank the three of you who heard me out when I ranted about everything. It's just life stuff. Expectations I could never hope to achieve and other, more petty things, but nonetheless upsetting.

Also! Will have a post up next week with my new availability expectations. I'll threadmark that when the time comes.

Also also! I mucked up the post order AGAIN. Noticed it almost immediately after making the post but did not fix. Here's the fixed version.

Our Hearts Agape
In The Crow's Embrace
Darkness' Embrace
Untitled starter
Untitled PM
The Wolf and the Viper
Tu-Fira
Meeting Alex dialogue
Good Riddance
Discord post for A
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World

 

[Cantarella]

Super, SUPER productive evening! Skipped game last night on account of DM not being ready, so I got these done instead:

The Shogun's Peace
Our Hearts Agape
In The Crow's Embrace
Darkness' Embrace
Untitled starter
Untitled PM
The Wolf and the Viper

Up next:

Tu-Fira
Meeting Alex dialogue
Good Riddance
Discord post for A
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
A Gift From the Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
Isabella's Game
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden

 

[Cantarella]

Also, I've decided I'm going to start putting memes I've made here. With y'all's blessings, of course, if they're directly referencing you or our stories in some way! If you're okay with me making and sharing memes about our stories, PM me or otherwise let me know! I might ask in the OOC otherwise, should an idea spring to mind, birthed from my brow like Athena.

Anyway, here's one I (re) made that I shared with a partner a few days ago. Figured that since I'm posting like an absolute maniac this morning, it was fitting.

 

[Cantarella]

Alright y'all, and now for the big reveal I've been teasing for awhile!

My hours are about to REVERSE!
Yes, completely reverse! For those of you who track my active hours, you know I generally am online and do posts in the late afternoon through the early morning, sometimes until 0500 CST or even later.

Well, I will no longer be doing that. Instead, I will be going to bed around midnight, maybe an hour earlier or later, depending on The Man's schedule or fatigue levels. He's started a new job, and instead of working second shift, he'll be working first. I don't know exactly what his hours will be, or what days, so things might be unpredictable for awhile. If today is any indication- even though it is only the first day- posts should go out in the morning through the afternoon and evening before 11PM or so.

With that over, posts! I have done more, and have more waiting.

Posts done in the wee hours of the morning are as follows:
Tu-Fira
Meeting Alex dialogue
Good Riddance

Up next:
Discord post for A
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
A Gift From the Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
Isabella's Game
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
In the Crow's Embrace
The Wolf and the Viper
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
Ad Astra (title for my previously untitled starter)
EDIT: Discord post for G

 

[Cantarella]

Sorry everyone! I had an outage and have been offline since my last entry. But I'm back now and will be getting to my posts in the order I received them, as per usual. Please bear with me, as this may take some time.

-C

 

[Cantarella]

Game starts in about 20 minutes, and I'm already kind of sleepy. Probably left over from the medication last night. I don't think I'll get anything else completed tonight, so I'll list what I've done, and what's due!

Completed:
Discord post for A
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World

Next in line:
A Gift From The Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
Isabella's Game
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
In the Crow's Embrace
The Wolf and the Viper
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
Ad Astra (title for my previously untitled starter)
Discord post for G
Untitled RP
Taken by a Warrior
There Is No Escape

Also expected sometime this weekend is Tu-Fira, and Behold! The Mistress of Skyhold! is coming soon too, just not sure when. No rush- take as much time as you need, friend!

Also, I haven't uploaded a song in awhile, so here, a cover I've been in love with since it released just over a week ago. It's from one of my favorite Youtube vocalists. It doesn't convey the same emotions as the original, and her voice is far more theatrical than the original, but I like it, even though it is different.

 

[Cantarella]

Forgot to update, sorry! Here's my updated list!

Done:
A Gift From the Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
The Wolf and the Viper
EDIT: Also completed Isabella's Game.

Next:
In The Crow's Embrace
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
Ad Astra
Discord post for G
Untitled RP
Taken by a Warrior
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
The Wolf and the Viper

Also, quick announcement. I have picked up a couple more TTRPG campaigns, one of which runs Friday afternoon through early evening and the other which has not had its hours solidified yet. The first session took place Saturday at 11AM my time (I overslept and was almost an hour late), but apparently the other players have scheduling conflicts and it may be moved to Wednesday. I will keep my partners abreast of any new developments with my schedule. But for now, it appears that not too much should be affected.

In other words, I've found the BMR national anthem! Oldie but damn good. Lehrer is an absolute treasure.

 

[Cantarella]

Been unwell this week- barely have gotten any posts done. If I hold up a bit better I'll see if I can start getting out more than the one a day I've been managing.

Done since Monday (in no order, and I'm sure I'm probably missing some):
In The Crow's Embrace
The Wolf and the Viper
Our Hearts Agape
Some dialogue for Meeting Alex

Next:
Darkness' Embrace
Ad Astra
Discord post for G
Untitled RP
Taken by a Warrior
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
The Wolf and the Viper
In the Crow's Embrace
Tu-Fira
Birth of the New Gods
Samsara's End
Discord post for A

One plot dropped. Sad to see it go, but life happens.

Game tomorrow afternoon. Will try to get more done.

Bedtime now.

 

[Cantarella]

Still unwell; if you have questions, do feel free to ask me. I don't want to share the specifics of it publicly.

I have managed a little bit: two OOC replies, I believe, a couple posts, and the dropped plot is back.

Here's what else I owe:
Ad Astra
Discord post for G
Untitled RP
Taken by a Warrior
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
The Wolf and the Viper
In the Crow's Embrace
Tu-Fira
Birth of the New Gods
Samsara's End
Discord post for A
Meeting Alex dialogue

One of my game partners is running late, so we may end up calling it. If we do, I'll try to do another post or two.

 

[Cantarella]

Update on my RPs:

Replied to Ad Astra.

Dropped:
Good Riddance (may return eventually)
Unlikely Partnership (again)
If He Dies, He Dies (again)
Vampire Queen is dead and not up for a revival.
Discord with V is currently in danger of being dropped.

Discord post for G is shelved for the moment until I return to the server, as are my off-site posts. I may be focusing on BMR proper for the foreseeable future, with G and A (potentially V too) being outliers. From now on, I may use Discord only for OOC posts and plotting, as things rarely go well on that platform.

Up next:
Untitled RP
Taken by a Warrior
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
The Wolf and the Viper
In the Crow's Embrace
Tu-Fira
Birth of the New Gods
Samsara's End
Discord post for A
Meeting Alex dialogue
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
A Gift From the Depths

Also the three (?) currently in the plotting stages, all of which are as yet unnamed.

Also, update on my health (should it even be desired at this point)
I am still quite unwell, and will be seeing a doctor soon. Not sure when but probably this week or the next. But if it's up to the doctor's discretion along with any insights into what ails me that I am unable or unwilling to see and deal with, I may be taking a hiatus lasting from anywhere to as little as 3 days up to two weeks, depending on how long stabilization takes. And from past attempts, it is almost always over a week long. If that is the case, I probably will not be able to announce the hiatus here or log in while I'm away. So if I disappear for a little bit, I'm probably off somewhere recovering.

In the meantime, I will not be forcing myself to post just for the sake of getting posts done, and I hope that my partners can respect that I'm not in the headspace to do much right now beyond OOC chat and perhaps some plotting.
I know each of us are our own worst critics when it comes to things like this, but I'm going to extend the same courtesy to myself that I extend to all of my partners, that being that I will never goad, force, or rush posts just to have them done. Quality inevitably suffers, and roleplaying should never be something done passionlessly. It's a hobby, not a job, and should not be treated as a job.

Please respect me and my creative energy at this time. I will have replies for each and every one of you, just much slower than usual.

Thank you all in advance.

-C

 

[Cantarella]

Update: DnD campaign is set for Wednesdays from 11CST to a time to be determined in each session. I am currently in-session, but I have managed to get a couple posts out. These, in this order:

Discord post for G (rejoined the server last night)
Untitled RP

Newest post order is as follows:
Taken by a Warrior
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
The Wolf and the Viper
In the Crow's Embrace
Tu-Fira
Birth of the New Gods
Samsara's End
Discord post for A
Meeting Alex dialogue
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
A Gift From the Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell (it returneth!)
The Shogun's Peace

I will make a note of what has been done on my next post.

 

[Cantarella]

Done since last post (in no order, and I might be missing some):
The Shogun's Peace
On The Edge of the World
Taken by a Warrior
There Is No Escape
The Wolf and the Viper
Boons of Olympus

Next: (in order of arrival)
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
In The Crow's Embrace
Tu-Fira
Birth of the New Gods
Samsara's End
Discord post for A
Meeting Alex dialogue
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
A Gift From the Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
The Wolf and the Viper
One Small Favor (new)
There Is No Escape

Now, I'm off to go clean my house. I'll be back later.

 

[Cantarella]

Done Friday:
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
In The Crow's Embrace

Done Saturday:
Tu-Fira

I had planned on doing more but my mom came over and was here all day doing a course on my computer since her power supply on hers was busted and she couldn't use her tablet to do a lot of it, and it is through my laptop that I make my posts. I didn't have game on Saturday night, but that didn't matter. I got all thrown off and discombobulated and I am SO SORRY.

Next up:
Birth of the New Gods
Samsara's End
Discord post for A
Meeting Alex dialogue
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
A Gift From the Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
The Wolf and the Viper
One Small Favor
There Is No Escape
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
On The Edge of the World
Ad Astra
In The Crow's Embrace

 

[Cantarella]

Yes- I'm still here.
And I have managed only one reply since my last post here. My muse simply isn't cooperating with me right now. Not entirely sure why. So I think I'm gonna take a little bit of a break in the meantime. I'm going to attempt to do my posts piecemeal, as inspiration comes to me, working on my replies here and there, but I won't promise anything until my muse wakes up again. I plan on doing a couple paragraphs here and there in each reply I owe, perhaps more or less depending on the general level of writing I do for each of my RPs, as it varies wildly with each partner.

I will still be here for OOC chat, or, if you prefer, you can reach me on my Discord for quicker, shorter responses, or just to chat with me while I work through it. In the meantime, I will be reading prose, poetry, literature of any kind that I have on hand, to try to kick-start it again. That method has never failed to work in the past.

For now, I will put an ETA on the end of my little hiatus to, say, some time early next week?

For reference, my Discord tag is Canta#7554. I do not RP on Discord, just a heads-up, but I do plot and OOC there. I would also be grateful if you could message me here as well if you add me there, so I know who you are if your username here does not match your tag.

See you next week!

-C

 

[Cantarella]

As of today, my mini hiatus is over. I managed a couple over the weekend like I said I'd attempt, the smaller, less-intense posts. And I finally managed a more in-depth one this morning, so I think I might be good to go again. Thank you for being understanding, folks.

Posts I did, in no order:
Birth of the New Gods
Samsara's End
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
The Wolf and the Viper

Dropped:
Untitled PM
Boons of Olympus

Returning?:
Ravens Land

One dropped mid-plotting, one added, one returned and will be underway soon.

Up next, in order:
Discord post for A
Meeting Alex dialogue
Our Hearts Agape
Darkness' Embrace
A Gift From the Depths
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
One Small Favor
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Ad Astra
In The Crow's Embrace
Isabella's Game
The Shogun's Peace
The Wolf and the Viper

Bear with me, I haven't ghosted any of you, I've just been wracking my brain.

 

[Cantarella]

Picked up Boons of Olympus again, and all plots back on the table.

Two starters waiting on me, and the third is briefly on hold but not dead.

Dropped Taken by a Warrior, perhaps permanently. I had fun while it lasted, but it was time to put it to bed.

Posts completed since last update:
Discord post for A
Our Hearts Agape
Some planning for Meeting Alex, but no dialogue set yet
Darkness' Embrace
A Gift from the Depths
Boons of Olympus
The Shogun's Peace

Up next:
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
One Small Favor
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Ad Astra
In The Crow's Embrace
Isabella's Game
The Wolf and the Viper
Boons of Olympus

On the game front, Wednesday got cancelled again and Friday sessions moved two hours earlier. Wrapping session up now. Saturday unaffected as far as I'm aware.

 

[Cantarella]

Had game tonight, and a horrible migraine and nagging cough I'm still battling. Consequently, I only managed some OOC chatter and one post, that being Unlikely Partnership Through Hell.

Up next:
Meeting Alex dialogue/timeskip setup
One Small Favor
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Ad Astra
In The Crow's Embrace
Isabella's Game
The Wolf and the Viper
Boons of Olympus
Our Hearts Agape

Hopefully I can get rid of this headache by morning, and get back to the posts I owe.

 

[Cantarella]

I think it might be time to update and bump my RT again. I've been thinking of adding a new fandom or two, opening up a taken plot, and add a new one that's been banging around in my skull for awhile. I'll figure it out in about a week, should my plots in progress not pick up for whatever reason. I have a few RTs I have my eye on, but my shyness is acting as a huge barrier in reaching out as it usually is. Such is life, isn't it?

Posts done today:
Meeting Alex dialogue- timeskip setup to come later
One Small Favor
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Boons of Olympus

Up next:
Ad Astra
In The Crow's Embrace
Isabella's Game
The Wolf and the Viper
There Is No Escape
Our Hearts Agape

 

[Cantarella]

I have done every post I previously owed! I am pretty current, with two starters owed- one with more detail needed before I get to work on it and the other in the works. I'll be working on it in my word processor, and with luck, it should be ready within the week. In talks with yet another, but more detail needs to be hammered out before we even consider doing the starters soon. I don't think I'll bump after all, instead focusing on what I already have. Best not to get too greedy when I'm only just beginning to catch up.

So, in order of receipt, I have these that I owe right now:
On The Edge of the World
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden
Dulce Puella Malum Est (recently revived! Huzzah!)
One Small Favor
In The Crow's Embrace
The Wolf and the Viper
Samsara's End
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell
Boons of Olympus

As for my Wednesday TTRPG sessions, I don't know if it will continue. It was cancelled for the third week in a row, and I don't know if I'll stick around if it doesn't come back next week or the week after. Friday still seems to be ongoing though, and Saturday is still lively and promising.

 

[Cantarella]

On second thought... maybe I will do that bump. Seems everything's slowing down or outright dying.

Current queue:
There Is No Escape
On The Edge of the World
Discord post for V
The Wolf and the Viper
In The Crow's Embrace

Also, one starter in the works. Got the outline in place, now thinking of a title. I'm hoping to have that ready soon. The other is currently on hold while I wait for more information from my partner.

I haven't uploaded any music in awhile. Here, have a song from me, BMR.

 

[Cantarella]

Caught a really nasty cold. Gonna be focusing mostly on resting, hydrating, and keeping myself out of my gourd on cold medicine. Posts will be a bit slower while I knock this thing out every way I know how.

They're coming; just a bit slower than they have as of late.

 

[Cantarella]

I appear to be on the mend (tentatively!). This cough is still kicking my ass, and the fever is still hanging on like a leech and flaring up at inopportune times. But I have managed one reply since my last post. I'll be steadily working my way back into replying while I recover, one post at a time. I won't be sticking to the post order, not exactly- I'll reply as things come to me naturally so as not to strain my brain too much. Short posts or things that I've been thinking a lot about first, and then longer, more detailed or thought-out posts after.

Here's the updated queue, in order of arrival:
Untitled starter takes first priority- I will be chipping away at this piece by piece.
On The Edge of the World
Discord post for V
The Wolf and the Viper
In The Crow's Embrace
There Is No Escape
One Small Favor
A Gift From the Depths
Finalizing the post for Meeting Alex
Our Hearts Agape
Metal Gear Solid: Chapter Raiden

 

[Cantarella]

Still unwell; whatever this thing is that I've caught is, it's gone to my lungs, and I'm a weak, shaky, miserable, coughing mess. I've been pretty much banished to bed until I recover fully, which is driving me completely stir-crazy. All I can see is the house needing to be cleaned and the fact that I need to go to the store for essentials but I've been forbidden from doing so. >_<

I have been keeping myself busy in the meantime when I'm not too tired, too hazy-headed or sleeping it off. Between watching the program that has been suggested to me and chatting, I've been doing some posting here and there. Out of order, as I said I would, but I'm chipping away.

One plot was dropped mid-planning due to an MIA partner. One new one is in the works. And I need to reply to two others that are in the planning phase, but my brain hasn't been exactly cooperative with coming up with fresh new ideas. Bear with me- I'll get to those when I'm able.

I did manage to complete that starter, and it was up to my partner's standards, thankfully! I received a reply quickly. Also, Under the Triple Suns has returned, as has Way of the Cat! I'm elated to see those in my inbox again.

Here's my new queue, in order of arrival:
In The Crow's Embrace
There Is No Escape
One Small Favor
A Gift From the Depths
Meeting Alex finalization
Our Hearts Agape
The Wolf and the Viper
Isabella's Game
Unlikely Partnership Through Hell

 

[Cantarella]

Doing much better after 10 days practically bedridden! I still have a slight cough, but I'm up and about now. I've cleaned my house with the exception of the vacuuming, and hopefully will be able to make a proper store run soon, as my pantries are quite depleted. I figure while I'm here doing my queue update and adding a song I've been obsessed with that totally reflects one of my favorite couples, I'll share my recipe for chicken noodle soup in the slow cooker! I'm going to tweak some things, but this is the basic template.

Mama Canta's Slow Cooker Chicken Noodle Soup (and some General Shitposting- no one reads this anyway)

Ingredients:
Roughly a pound and a half of boneless, skinless chicken breasts (I just stuck three breasts in my 6-quart slow cooker since it fit)
Baby Carrots
Fresh celery
Fresh garlic, minced (I used 5 cloves)
Freshly-cracked black pepper
Kosher salt
Chicken stock, 2 boxes or 8 cups, depending on the capacity of your slow cooker
Egg noodles
1 onion
Bay leaves (I used 2)
Rosemary
Thyme

Directions:
Generously rub the chicken with the kosher salt and black pepper and arrange it in your slow cooker. Chop the vegetables and smash and mince the garlic. I dumped the baby carrots in whole; you can cut them if you want, I don't care. Put all of the ingredients in the pot and cover it all with the stock, along with the spices.

I didn't include measurements because you just gotta feel that shit, ya dig? You add that shit in there and you stop when the spirits of your ancestors whisper for you to stop and you feel your bubbe's spectral fingers upon your wrist and, in your mind's eye, klezmer music quietly plays.


Ouuuughhhh yeahhh.

Anyway! You crank that bad boy on low for six hours. After those six hours are up, fish the chicken breasts out of the pot and shred them with two forks and stick them back in the pot. Put in your package of egg noodles- hopefully a smaller bag than I used, whoops- and let it cook for another half an hour on low.

When those thirty minutes are up, you have soup!

Wolaj, wolaj, zajebiście kurwa and mazel tov, you have soup! Enjoy!

And here's the song, in honor of Falka of Brokilon and Lucien of Aedirn, because they're adorable and I love them.




And, last but not least, what you've all been waiting for- my newest queue! Here's what I have, in order:
Isabella's Game
There Is No Escape
The Wolf and the Viper
Meeting Alex dialogue (don't fuck it up this time, Canta, you dumb cow!)
In The Crow's Embrace
On The Edge of the World


Also... yeah, I keep saying I'll bump, and I really, really mean it, I wanna! New ideas in the making, and I might make a separate fandom RT altogether. But I can't code for shit, have absolutely no eye for aesthetics, and the thought of it makes me wanna die a little. I want to wither, root and fucking branch, at the very thought, left with nothing but the seething agates of my dehydrated eyeballs within the exposed bone of my carbonized skull.

Ouugughhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhh, it's unpleasant. But the things we do to stay occupied, right?

Sigh.

Okay, off I pop, it's about bedtime for me.

 

[Cantarella]

Today marks 10 years since a loss that changed me forever. As a woman, and as a person at large. I've spent the past three days mostly sedated to try to cope with it, or at least get through it. I apologize for my silence during these past days- I'm just trying to get through this the only way I know how, and without any damage. My waking hours, few as they have been, have been spent mute, crying, or too hazy to do anything but stare at a screen and lie still.

Posts are coming. Just... bear with me, while I bear with this. It won't be for much longer.