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Feedback on my Thread

BreezinBy

Alleged Writer
Joined
Aug 12, 2020
Location
The darkest regions of your mind
Honestly, I feel like in my threads, I'm sorely lacking in something that is making it hard to say exactly what I want. It's no fault of any of my partners mostly but I feel there is an ambiguity that is causing problems in both of these? Could anyone find it?



Thanks ahead of time.
 
Last edited:

Jumbled

π•­π–Šπ–Š π•³π–†π–•π–•π–ž 🐝
Designer
Joined
Mar 18, 2019
I think sometimes people like to know about the person. Hi, I'm this. You can call me this. I am interested in finding one or two people to write with. My schedule is a bit like this.
I dunno. I like RTs where I can get a better sense of a person. To see if I think we would click in general.

-- That was pertaining to the FxAny one. I'll look a little more. **

Adding to this, perhaps make small headers and separate things a bit more? Like, About Me:, What I'm looking for:, etc.
It's really all about your own personal style! <3
 
Joined
Sep 15, 2020
That's always going to be a problem πŸ˜‚ but lemme go through your thread and give you my stream-of-consciousness as a reader. Maybe that'll help with how to structure it.

Intro
Ok, makes sense. If the F-list is important link it right there. If not, cut the F-list mention and keep the F-list link in the middle. It already sits on its own line which is clear enough

Warning
Feels very open. Can this be more specific? One suggestion is to change the header to "Who I'm looking for" and then a bulleted wishlist of 3 to 5 things. Or maybe do the bullet list on a napkin somewhere then figure out how to write it.

Writing Style
The thread switched from you to who you're looking for, then this section comes back to a mix of both details about you and who you're looking for.

I'd suggest splitting it. Or if it stays as it's own section, If the most important part is someone to who can move the plot forward, bring that all the way to the front of the paragraph, like "I want someone who can move a plot forward with me...".

Where to RP
Ok

F-List
Can there be a tl;dr version of the top 3 to 5 things you're looking for and want to avoid? I personally do go through entire lists but usually someone who can fulfil the top ones will seal it and F-list doesn't show rankings within a category

List of fandoms
I see common themes that you're looking for, like you seem to want to play fun, sassy characters, and you like actiony plots - or maybe I misread that, in which case that's something to clarify. Try to consolidate the common threads around
  1. Who you'd like to play,
  2. What kind of plots or situations you'd like to play,
  3. What kind of characters you'd like your partner to play and what the relationship dynamic looks like
And find a way to bring that into either the section about you, the section about who you're looking for or what looks like it could be a new section about stories and genres that interest you and why.

Coming to the end, I actually feel like most of the info is there, it's just that if someone gets to the end and wants to make a request, they can't easily look back through it and confirm if they really match what you want.
 

JennaThorne

Super-Earth
Joined
Aug 29, 2020
I feel like it's informative but it could be more evocative? Inject more personality, really grab people's attention!
 

Red Spite

Moon
Joined
Oct 21, 2020
Anyway, I could still use some feedback, especially on the Original stuff.
It's a pretty thorough post and gives a good idea of your expectations and what you'd like to offer. It feels like there's a bit of a sense of you there, which is cool.

I'd suggest removing the mention of your superhero academy idea having not worked out before. It's 'starting on a downer' and could be argued to be information a prospective partner doesn't need.
 

Arkwright

Send me back.
Banished
Joined
Oct 23, 2020
this may sound odd at first, but maybe include a picture of a good-looking woman beneath your intro? the thread's all blurb: words words words and lots of bold. some imagery would break it up. example
 

MaximusDecimus

Planetoid
Joined
Apr 27, 2019
Location
Amsterdam
I think I need this once more, I'm in need of a revamp!

I've read through your thread – Fx Any - Breezin's Canon Fandom Interests (New Additions!)

And honestly – I wouldn't change anything in it, it's clearly formatted, very easy to read (none of that small text, low contrast, or center-aligned). I breezed through your request thread.
The only thing that's weird is – at the very end you say: "THINGS I AM CURRENTLY CRAVING BUT HAVE NO IDEAS FOR", and then name spoiler "Ideas", but they are not really ideas, more kinks, or overall themes.

I do have a question about your test: "If you have read everything, please put the word "Northwest" in your post or title." Is it really important that people read the entire thing, what if I read to the Mass Effect part, then skimmed the rest, and decided to write to you, but missed the small print? You don't really list any limits or other important information, I can imagine people stop reading after they found the story they want to do.

But these is very minor notes, the rest as I said amazing!
 

Laa

Super-Earth
Joined
Jul 18, 2013
I checked out the second thread, so here we go!

I'm really missing some actual ideas. It's more a list of kinks and things you'd like to brainstorm with, which is okay, but there really needs to be either some characters or plots stashed in there somewhere. The reason being, that you can list all the kinks or themes or settings in the world and still not get to the heart of what you enjoy. Every combination of elements always create something that is highly unique, which gets to the heart of what you like more so than any list of kinks ever could. So, let's say I'm into handholding. Would I like someone to hold my hand gently? Roughly? Should it be a man or a woman? Should something happen while I'm holding hands? Should it be a robotic hand or a human one? A specific idea, in contrast, will allow me to see what combination of kinks you'd put together, how you would 'cook' your stories.

So if you say "The idea is that our characters would be stuck to one another, forced to hold hands at all times while they go through their normal day. Maybe they like it, maybe they don't, that's up for debate.", for example, I'd know that the handholding isn't just a kink, it's the primary focus of some of your desires. You didn't mention genders, so that might be up for debate. Perhaps there's also an element of BDSM to it, them walking about handholding in public being somewhat embarrassing. Since you didn't mention any alien species, it's likely not important to you in that scene, etc. etc. That allows me to craft new ideas springing off of that, perhaps saying "I was thinking that they were cursed because they opened a box they weren't supposed to! I think it could be fun if MC likes it, but YC doesn't. What do you think?".

So yeah. I'd recommend adding a few specific ideas. But, that might just be me, so take it with a grain of salt! :)
 
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