Is He A Lover or A Fighter {guitarfan2810 & WrittenFantasies}

He was seeing red and he hated it. His jaw clenched and he kept walking around. Part of him wondered if he should go for a run or go to the gym or what he should do.

His eyes shot around the backyard. When she asked him what was wrong he took a few minutes before he replied to her question. "Don't call me a loser." He said softly but the pain and anger was in his tone. Jake wasn't upset with Adri, even if he did tell her, it had been when they first got together and he didn't expect her to entirely remember.

"That...fucker always called me a loser." He said quietly and let out a sigh as he tried to calm down. He knew she was only kidding but it still hurt. Not because of her but because of what his stepfather did to him.

Adri frowned and then remembered, "Really Boo? That is what this is about? We were messing around." She thought it would be something more serious than that. She wondered how well he would get along with her brothers. They all called each other losers.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead, "Okay. I won't say it again." She said softly. She made a mental note to tiptoe when they were messing around with each other. She thought they were closer than that and past that part but apparently not.

"I put Owen to bed so I am going to follow suit after a shower. Go for a run or something so you don't go to bed angry." She kissed his cheek and went upstairs to get in the shower.

Jake looked at her she obviously didn't get it and that almost made it more upsetting for him. "You obviously don't get it..." He said softly and shook his head.

She could call him any other thing while they mess around, it had nothing to do with how close they were. It triggered something in him and he couldn't shake that. It's not just a self conscious thing he could think about and just not get angry. The word takes him back to his childhood. Specific memories and instances. In his head he was reliving those moments.

He pulled away from her when he went to kiss him. She didn't think it was something serious and to him that hurt worse than the actual word did.

"Jake I'm not him. I get that the word upsets you. I won't say it again but that words is a staple in my family. My brothers and I all wrestled each other and called each other losers. I won't say it to you. I'll text all of my brothers and tell them not to say it. But Boo, the guy is dying and I am nothing like him. When your opponent says it, yeah be mad. But we were messing around." She didn't want to turn this into an arguement so she stopped talking.

She rolled her eyes when he pulled away from her. "How many times I have told you your not a loser? How many times have I said, you can lose a fight and still be loved by everyone around you? I can say it a million times. I can say it until I'm blue in the face. I dont know what to say took u right now, other than go run or punch the bag in the gym or take a hot shower."

She could only say that he wasn't a loser so many times. He needed to believe it. She says it once when they were messing around and it completely erased all of the times when she said he wasn't one. she was tired of having to boost him up and make him believe that yes, she would be here if he lost a fight. He made it hard to love him sometimes. Like he didn't deserve it when he totally did.

He closed his eyes and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. He turned and looked at her dropping his hand. "It's not just the word and the meaning behind it Adri." He was getting frustrated and angrier and he wasn't trying to be but he needed her to understand or at least hear him out on it. "I'm not just being a fucking baby right now." He thought about it a second then knew how he could make her understand. He didn't know how she would take it but he had no other idea on how to compare or explain that she may understand.

"I'm not meaning this towards you and I hope to God you know that. I just don't know how else to explain it to you." He looked away and fought back the emotions he was feeling. "That word is a trigger for me Adri. It's not just a thing to get into my head and I think that I am literally a loser. That word alone brings back memories and shit that I'm trying like fucking hell to forget. The only way I know how to explain or describe it, is like when someone has been assaulted and someone touches them a certain way it brings them back to that assault. That word is like that touch. I'm sorry that your family uses. I know you were just playing around but..." He looked away ashamed and fought back emotions. The fact he just saw the man weeks ago made it all even more real and harder to put in the back of his head. "I can't help it." He looked up at her with tears in his eyes before looking back down.

He hated feeling that way, like he was out of control of his own feelings and that a simple word could trigger all the memories and emotions of his past. It wasn't emotions that he wasn't good enough. It was emotions of thinking his father didn't love him or want him. It was emotions of a man who made it known he didn't love him beat him and tried to assault him. Emotions of his mother who just sat back and watched it happen. Or those nights he knew he was hurting Amy and couldn't do a damn thing to protect her. It was that thought and feeling that bothered him the most. He still carried a lot of guilt from that.

Jake buried his face in his hands. It honestly, had nothing to do with the true meaning of the word, but more what that word did to him. It was something deeper, something my psychological that he never got worked out because he saw himself as weak if he did. Plus he didn't want anyone knowing his business. Now it was all out anyway, why not get the help he needed.

And now she felt like the bad guy. She rubbed her temples and sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I still don't know how to make you feel better but I will tell my family not to say the word around you." She said softly.

He made it clear that he didn't want to be touched so now she would leave him alone in a better light and let him cool down. "Come to bed when you're ready." She said softly and walked upstairs.

She got in the shower and then checked on Owen before going to bed. She checked her emails and saw the final cut for the music video in her box. She opened it up and watched it before bed. She wanted to call Nick but she sent him a text congratulating him on his new video. Then she hooked up her phone to the charging cord and got some sleep.

Jake let her go up to bed and stayed outside for awhile. He tried to calm down and get the images and past out of his head. With Adri inside and not really trying to help, he grabbed his phone and wanted to talk to someone but he didn't know who to call. Because she was there earlier in the day he scrolled down to Layla's name. He thought about it for a few seconds and realized it was only because she got in his head and was there and he was upset that he would call her. No other time would he even think of calling Layla.

Instead he called the only other person who would understand. His sister. The two talked for awhile. They eventually hung up and Jake went up to go to bed. He climbed into bed next to Adri after stripping down to his boxer briefs. He stayed on his side not wanting to wake her up.

In the middle of the night when Owen woke up, Jake got up to get him. He picked him up and sat in his room rocking him. The two fell back asleep in Owen's room. Where they stayed until morning.

When Adri woke up she noticed that Jake wasn't in the bed. She figured he just never came to bed. She got dressed for a run and got Max's leash so she could take him with her. He was dead set on staying with Owen though so she left him there and went on her run alone.

Paparazzi followed her during her run and it made her run faster but where there was one there were a few more. So she turned around and went back home.

She was a sweaty mess so she went upstairs and took a shower. She got dressed and found Jake, Owen and Max. "Hey, I have thing I have to get to. I'll be home in a couple hours. You're feeling better, health wise now right? I can change it again if I need too."

Jake woke up and found he never made it back to bed. When Owen woke up, he got changed before he took him down and fed him breakfast and when he was done he got him dressed for the day.

Jake was going to go for a run and workout himself since he had a fight. "I'm fine. Have a good day." So she just cared that he wasn't sick anymore and that was it. Her work was important and she was going to go do that. He called Amy to come watch Owen so he could work.

He took Owen upstairs with him and got dressed for the gym. Once Amy was there, Luke and Jake went to work out. Was it too soon after being sick, probably, but he needed to get to work if he wanted to win that fight. Plus he also needed to let off some steam from the night before.

Layla sent a text to Jake asking if she could come over again but she didn't get a reply. So she did a little bit of apartment hunting and went out and looked at a few before texting Jake again and asking if she could come over.

Finally after a couple hours, she showed up and knocked on the door. Amy answered and Layla smiled at her, "Hi...uh...you must be the sister. Amy right? I'm Owen's mother. I get play time with Owen until he warms up to me."

A moment of recognition crossed Amy's face and she nodded her head, "He said something about you. Come on in. Owen is about to take a nap but we can push nap time if you want. Jake is downstairs with Luke working out. They should be done soon though. So come on in."

Luke didn't take it easy on Jake after being sick. If anything he pushed him harder. He wasn't afraid to make him puke but luckily for Jake he didn't have to.

Jake was tired though and didn't eat breakfast so he was starving by the time he was done. He went upstairs with Luke. Noticing Layla he said hi. "I'm going to shower quick and I'll be down." Jake first made a smoothie so it would be ready when he was out of the shower and then went up to wash off the workout.

Standing in the shower he still had the night before on his mind. It was taking a bit to shake it off. He cleaned up and put on a pair of shorts and one of the muscle shirts that Adri likes so much. He came downstairs and grabbed his smoothie and walked to the couch to find a comfortable spot. "How's my big O doing?" He didn't want to take him from Layla so he just let him play. "How's it going?"

Layla and Amy made a little bit of small talk but it was all around awkward. Amy was sitting next to the girl her brother not only had sex with but also made a baby with. She did love the baby but that didn't mean she had to love the mother. She was grateful when Luke and Jake came out of the gym.

"He's great. He crawled to me today." She smiled at Jake. "And Amy made a bottle so I'm going to try and get him to sleep in a few." It wasn't a lot of time with Owen but it was nice to be around him.

"How was your workout?" She asked Jake and looked at his arms and back up at his face.

"Uhh...Jake. Luke and I are going to go find our wedding bands so we will talk to you tomorrow, most likely. She kissed her big brother and looked at Luke. Luke looked at Jake for help, "No." Amy said putting a stop to whatever silent communication they had. We have an appointment. We are designs our wedding bands. Let's go." Amy demanded. She smiled at her brother and Layla, "Good bye."

Layla let Jake walk them out and grabbed the bottle so she could start feeding Owen. "So how was that work out?" She asked again when they were alone.

Jake gave her a smile. He knew it was big progress for her that her son actually crawled to her. He didn't know if he should be happy or sad about it. "That's awesome."

He tried to help his future brother out but his sister was quick. "Yeah well we are watching tape tomorrow. So no plans." He gave Amy a hug and then went back to sit on the couch and finish his smoothie.

"My workout was alright. Luke kicked my ass. Which he needed to but at the same time I was just sick so I'm pretty drained." He checked his phone to see what time it was and if Adri sent him a message or anything. His eyes then went to Owen and Layla. "He's learning to hold it himself." He put his arm behind him so his hand was on the back of the couch, getting comfortable. It was awkward but he was trying to be nice.

"You're feeling better I hope. You shouldn't be training if you are still recovering. You can make yourself sick again." She warned and gave him a look. "This guy seems like he bounced right back though. So I think you're in the same boat as him." She smiled at Jake.

"He is?" She put her finger on the bottom of it and Owen's hands came up to hold the bottle. She smiled at him and looked at Jake, "That's so good." She looked at Owen again and patted his butt.

She felt him shift his position and she moved a little bit too. Owen fell asleep and she looked around, "Can I see his nursery?" She asked sweetly. "Just so I can get an idea for how to decorate."

"I feel a lot better thanks. I just feel drained a bit still. But I'm working through it." He smiled. "Yeah he's our little warrior. He's one tough kid."

"Yeah before long he will be walking. We're not going to be able to keep him down. Hope you're ready." He chuckled and smiled.

Jake was comfortable but he understood Layla wanting to see his room. "Sure. Come on..." He got up and took her upstairs to his room. Max followed close. "Max he's okay buddy." He rubbed his head.

"Don't mind him. These two are best friends. Owen loves him and he could pull his tail or ears and Max just lays there like he could care less."

"I don't think anyone is ready when their kid starts walking." She smiled.

She got up slowly so she didn't wake Owen. She followed Jake to the nursery and looked around when he opened the door, "It's adorable." She said softly. "It's so cute." She set Owen in his crib. "Wow I'm surprised you guys had the time to do all of this by yourselves at the last minute." She rubbed the foot of a really soft bear.

"I have a crib and a mattress in a storage unit but I have no idea how to put it together. And no idea how to decorate the rest of the room. Now I think I know what I need."

She smiled at Jake. "Are you sure you're okay? You look a little distracted."

"Definitely not. At least we have the gates up to help. I'm tored now, just wait till he is running around." He chuckled a bit.

"We just did it one weekend. " He shrugged. "Adri has been a big help. We're thinking about making it more themed instead of so plain. She has her itch for design. That's not me. I'm just the muscles." He looked at her. "I can help put it together."

Jake shrugged. "Just a lot on my mind. I've had a lot hapoen the last month or so. I'm just not sure about this fight. And some other things. I just gotta get my head in the game." He smiled.

"Well, take it from someone who has seen you fight before, you are a beast. I don't think I have ever seen you lose a fight and I doubt I will see you lose one any time soon. Plus, aren't you a favorite to win. You have loads of people who believe in your abilities. I know you can do this because I know you will come him and tell Owen all about it." She laughed.

"I'm sure you tell him all about your fights. I'm guessing he's going to be a little fighter right? That might be adorable. Actually. UFC should make diapers. I'm going to look into that. If they make diapers Owen is totally being you for Halloween. Owen 'Little Drifter' Daniels." She smiled.

"Don't worry. You always manage to come out on top when you fight. I'm sure this time will not be any different. You're a beast Jake. And you know you are. You're just too into your head."

He was a beast and was the crowd favorite to win. He had a lot of fans wanting him to win and that added to the pressure. But it wasn't that he wasn't physical part he worried about it was the mental. He had to get his head in it.

Jake laughed. "That would be funny. He needs more hair though. That would be an awesome Halloween costume." He smiled. Adri was against him fighting or seeing the fights but that's what moms do. "He's not allowed to watch daddy for awhile though."

Layla was right and he knew that. "I know. I need to just stop thinking about anything but fighting. It's hard when you have a fiancé and baby." His hand ran through his hair. "We probably should let him sleep. "

"I can see why it would be hard when you have a baby but the fiance' is supposed to make thing easier." She walked out of Owen's room and into the hallway. She looked at the pictures on the wall of Owen by himself, Owen with Jake and Owen with Max. She ignored the ones with Adri in them.

"I should probably head home." She said softly. "It was nice spending time with him today though. I think I want to come by tomorrow if you guys are around. If not, I will go searching for that perfect apartment again."

She grabbed her purse and walked towards the front door. Before she got out, she turned around and kissed Jake, right on the lips. There wasn't any tongue but she tried to add some passion and want in there.

She opened the door and smiled at him, "Get out of your head. The second you enter the ring, you will know what to, you are just over thinking. You'll be fine." She told him and walked to her car.

"Adri does make things easier. We both have careers and schedules and planning the wedding." Adri was a lot of help for him. He wouldn't have gotten through half of the stuff that's been thrown at him since Owen was born.

"I'll check the schedules. And get back to you." He smiled at her.

Jake was a little taken back by the kiss, it took him a second before he realized what happened and stepped back. "Layla...you can't do that. I'm engaged to Adri. I'm not going to screw that up...that's not okay..."

"I would agree with you but that is our son. There's going to be a day when she chooses work over our son. And it hasn't come yet. You can believe it never will. But it will happen. And our son is going to call me. We can cut the middle man out or we can just wait for that day." She told him because she knew it would happen and even if he didn't want to believe it would happen.

She laughed, "You kissed me back, Jake. You totally kissed me back." She shrugged her shoulder. She'd get him soon. Maybe they could make another baby.

About an hour after Layla left, Adri came home with a big Louboutin bag. She took them upstairs and went back down. "I got our wedding shoes today. I figured you will be in black so I got some classic black oxfords for you and I got some very pretty crystal shoes that will look very pretty under any dress I pick."

What she said about Adri choosing work over Owen got to him a bit. What if Layla was right. She already once walked away because of work and how important it was to her. But she showed him she wanted him and Owen and their life.

Jake shook his head. "No I didn't." He shook his head again and watched her leave. He went in and sat down on the couch. She told him to clear his head, but what she did and said to him did far from clear his head. It just gave him more to think about.

The minute Adri came in he felt sick. He looked at her and by the look she had to have known something was wrong. "Hey...we need to talk..." He held his hand out to her.

When she walked into the living room, she looked at Jake and could feel it in her gut. Then he said those dreadful words and sat alone on the love seat.

Was this over last night? Was he going to break up with her for the one time she didn't tell him he was great? She took a deep breath and held her hand, "Wait, before you say anything, think about what you are going to say. if it's something that could ruin the wedding, do I really need to know?" She asked and let him sit with that.

Of course it was something that could ruin the wedding, she needed to know so she could decide if she needed to stop planning or not.

He just looked at her a second. He didn't know how to respond to that. "So are you saying if it is something that can ruin the wedding, I just shouldn't tell you?" He looked at her confused and a little shocked that came from her. His head shook a bit. "Wow..." He said softly.

"I wanted to tell you because you're my fiance and I don't want to keep anything from you. Especially this. But if all you're worried about is the wedding..." She still should know but after her question he was just annoyed.

Jake looked away as his head went back to more things that Layla said. Maybe they were more different then he thought. Maybe he just wanted them to work it never would. His head just kept running all these things through his head. Maybe he shouldn't tell her. But if she found out from someone else, like Layla, shit would hit the fan that much worse.