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Through the Veil (citizenanon x shani)

Bellatrix shrugged it was true Bellatrix did kinda got in the way taking the blows alone taking the sorrow and pain so her siblings wouldn't be harmed. Just like she tried to with her cousins but Bella would grow increasingly busy over the years. "Yeah...Cissy is very lucky..." She replied even Andromeda was lucky she ran away not having to fight but seperating herself from the family. "Yeah I understand how he could have felt that way..." Bellatrix began to feel sadness again, "That boy sounds brave..." She replied thinking "Love...is a figment of the imagination..." She scoffed blindly falling for Tom, and if she ended up with Rudolphus she would have to pretend to love him too. Her tear stained eyes looked at him as he brushed the curls from her face seeing his smile. Shaking her head slightly, "yes I can feel the forgien feelings, that I don't quite understand..." Bella said softly, taking her hand she wiped a few tears away.
 
Sirius shook his head at how damaged Bellatrix was already. "Love is not a figment of the imagination, Bella. You feel it even if you don't understand it." He dismissed the Patronus. "Love is what drives you to protect Narcissa. It's what drives you to try your best to protect the family. It's love, even if it's not what you think it is and one day, love is what will drive you forward." He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "You have an immense capacity to love, Bellatrix, it's not too late to understand and know that feeling."

Given how powerful she was when her actions were driven by hatred, he was certain that she would still grow to be an impossibly powerful witch.

Sirius wondered if the mark was at fault for keeping her from truly understanding love.
 
Looking away she felt lost, she was upset from earlier with him talking about and showing her what Tom had become. Blinking at him confused, she did love her sister and her family, but that was different. "You sound like a fortune cookie..." She replied looking at her hand as he took it squeezing it softly. "I don't think I was meant to know such a feeling..." Bellatrix spoke softly.
 
"Everybody is meant to know love." Sirius said. "You'll see. That much I can promise. It'll take you by surprise one day. You just won't know it until it hits you." Sirius took her hand and gave it a tender kiss. "Give it some time. I'm going to see to the family, see to it that everyone comes out okay. You're going to be free to live and love. I'll show you."

That his words could be taken to mean that he would love her was not evident to Sirius as he spoke. He simply meant that she would be able to have that chance.
 
Bllatrix fellsilent shde knew her little sister was in love i was interesting to see. Bellatrix was in love or so she thought but seeing what becomes of him how evil and malicious he becomes. It tore her heart to shreds thinking if getting to that point he wouldn't love her Not that she would be able to see him, if she did he'd probably kill her for doubting. Bellatrix sighed Both her sisters were in love and happy while she was not...which made her upset as well she was he oldest she should have been married and starting a family and all of that, Andromeda ran away to do jjust that and it looked like Cissy would be next. Snapping out of her thoughts as he kissed her hand, looking at him."Pick up where I would have failed..."Her voice was soft she had failed her family unable to fight for Tom and protect them, then agaiin while fighting for Tom according to Sirius she didn't accomplish that either. "Thanks...I doubt it though..."
 
"It never should have fallen to you to protect the family in the first place." Sirius argued back softly. "You are doing so very good at it. Or were until I showed up and ruined all of your plans." He smiled. "And you have not failed. You're not going to just sit on the side and are going to help me protect the family."

Sirius squeezed her hand again. "Don't doubt it, Bellatrix. You'll see." He did not let go of her hand, but stood up from the bed and gently pulled her to her feet. "Let's go and check on Narcissa. She's probably worried about you. Let's show her that you're alright." Sirius did not let her go, but led her from the bedroom by the hand.
 
"Yeah...but it did...and now you are trying to take over protecting them..." Bella retorted her voice still as soft. "No I wasn't...well I was but obviously something goes wrong if Regulus died, and I tried to kill you, put Cissy in danger...I still would fail...there's nothing I can do..." Bella replied depressed and broken.

Looking at her hand as it was squeezed again. Shaking her head slightly not currently believing it. Bella stood rather limply as he pulled her to her feet. "What? No...Cissy can't see me like this...and I am not alright..." Bellatrix said digging her heels to the floor.
 
"There is plenty that you can and will do." Sirius said. When she dug in her heals, he frowned and stepped closer towards her. No, she was not alright, but she was on the way to healing. He stepped closer to her, invading her personal space. He rested his hands on her hips. "What is bothering you right now, Bellatrix? Tom's turn and betrayal of what he stands for? I don't think it's that. It hurts, yes, but I don't think it's the biggest part of you that's hurting." He leaned a bit closer. "Is it that you feel like you have failed?" He frowned. "You have not failed and will do better than you can imagine. Is it because you don't feel like you are loved or deserve to be loved?"
 
When he stopped pulling her she sighed softly standing still again, unable face her sister with her emotions high, her eyes red from crying. Bellatrix stayed in her head at the moment feeling it was safer there at the moment, until she felt his hands on her hips. Snapping back to the situation at hand, seeing him in her personal space. Blinking at him, her lips twitched slightly as she thought of what was really bothering her. A chunk was Tom's predicament...turning against his own values for power. Her heart was racing Bellatrix never spoke about her feelings not even sure what she was fully feeling anymore. Feeling a lump in her throat, part of her indeed felt she had failed no matter what way she looked at it, unable to keep her family safe, unable to carry out Tom's wishes, Whether past or future a feeling of hopelessness fell upon her. Looking down at the floor, her family loved her...but they wouldn't, seeing as she was unable to keep her promises to them, failing them. Shaking her head Bella moved to try to back away from him her heart and mind racing a mile a minute. Tensing her body she began to shake, Never talking to anyone about her feelings not knowing what to do or say her one hand took hold of the necklace on her neck playing with the charm.
 
"No, Bellatrix. Stop backing and wait." Sirius said. He held onto her waist and drew her back to him. "Stop, I can see it in your eyes. Listen to me, Trixie. I'm not going to let you fail and I'm not going to let you live a life without love."

Sirius let go of her hip with one hand and reached up to cup her cheek. He stroked her chin with his thumb.

"Together, Trixie. We can and will do amazing things. For the future. For our family. You just have to trust me."
 
Bellatrix groaned as he pulled her back to him, Not used to someone caring enough to try and find out what was wrong. Used to running, to being on her own to work things out. "I already have Sirius..."She replied knowing and feeling that she had failed. Looking down still, curls falling in her face. Looking at him as he caressed her cheek, trust him? She was a Black they rarely trusted anyone. Breathing slightly hevy as he attempted to calm herself down.
 
"I know I am asking a lot." Sirius said and directed her eyes towards his. "You can feel it though. There's a part of you that knows you can trust me and you know I will do everything I can to make sure that not only you, but every person I can will come out of this alive."

Sirius leaned closer. Their faces were just a small space apart now. "Let me help you, Trixie. Let me show you the things you have missed out on and teach you to be the best witch that you can."
 
Looking back into his eyes, "Oh yeah? You think so?...You mean the same feeling I had about trusting Tom?" She asked him seeing as rust had and often held a similar feeling. "The war will be upon us... and many will die..." Bella stated sadly.

He was definatly in her personal space more so now his face so close to hers. Not knowing what to say, what was he to show her what did she miss out on? She wondered.
 
"Yeah, I know so." Sirius said. "And yes, I'm asking you to trust me, but unlike Tom, I will not be binding you to my will and you will have ample opportunity to tell me your opinions and thoughts on what will happen." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I'm not asking you to serve me, Trixie. I'm asking you to trust me and work with me."

Sirius leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. It was a brief kiss. Soft and warm. He pulled back. "You'll get your chance to protect and love."
 
Listening to his words, it was difficult to earn Bellatrix's trust. Although once she trused she would loyally follow, but with everything going on her trus was limited. Looking down as he spoke thinking her attenion turned back to him as he caressed her cheek.

Her eyes widened shocked that he just kissed her then again that shouldn't shock her seeing that he had touched her inappropriately. Doumbfounded by the action not knowing nor could she finnd words to say. Stepping back again, just taken a back by it all.
 
"I'm not asking you to blindly follow me, but please give me a chance to show you that I know something of what I'm talking about." Sirius smiled. "You need to go and see Cissy now. She needs her sister and it will do her some good to be able to help you, even if it is just talking to you."

Sirius let go of her cheek, but reached for her hand again. "Let's go and check on your sister." Narcissa was probably still under the tree relaxing, but he was trying to break through Bellatrix's hard shell and he would succeed.
 
Bellatrix didn't say a word still marked by Tom until they could remove the mark, Not seeing what she really could do at this point. Not knowing what to do with Sirius either nor how to handle him. "If you haven't noticed I really don't want to talk...and I am a mess I am not going to see Narcissa...I will not show her my torment. She wouldn't be able to help anyway...."

Honestly believing she couldn't be helped that nothing would do her good, she was fine until it had been time to eat. Narcissa remained in a meditative state under the tree without a care in the world.
 
"Trust me on this one, Trixie. One step." Sirius took a step back towards the door with her hand in his. "You have to let someone in, either your sister or me. She can help you. She knows what it is like to fall in love. She's in love now. She could help you understand what you're feeling." Sirius frowned a bit. "Or you can let me in so that I can help you."

Sirius would let her make the choice, but she could not just not do anything.
 
Bellatrix went tense she didn't want to talk about things neither of them would understand, not that she would give them a chance. "Neither....I don't need 'help'...Yes Cissy lucked out, she and her bethrothed are madly in love with each other....I'm not taking advice on love from my 16 year old sister...and I very well know what it's like to fall in love...I've done so many times...it just never works out...not that it helped being betrothed to Rudy...I'm supposed to grow to love him over time, to keep my pureblood marraige seeing as the other one ran off....What I'm feeling? Anger, hate, betrayal, pain, heartache, confusion. To name a few...I just want to be alone...I'm used to working through my stuff on my own...I don't need anyone..." Bellatrix was holding onto a lot of emotions never speaking of them to anyone.
 
"And we both know how that turns out for everyone in the family who holds everything in." Sirius countered. "You've tried that all before and it has not done well, but..." Sirius sighed. "Go and take a bath." Sirius frowned. "Take a long, hot bath and relax. I'll go and check on Cissy. Think about what you want, Trixie and how you are going to get it. You know that Tom is not the answer to your problems, but I can at least give you the chance."

Sirius let Bellatrix go and nodded towards the bathroom where she could take her time and try to relax. "Go ahead. Take what time you need. I'll keep Cissy occupied while you're dealing with it."
 
"No Sirius I don't...You might you've seen it all haven't you? Hm being from the future has it's perks. You know it all, how we all turn out. This year was one of the happiest I have ever been...until recently. I guess a lepord can't change it's spots after all then, if I've tried it and am obviously not willing to try another method." Bellatrix was clearly upset and furstrated. "I don't want anything[i/] Sirius and if I did I wouldn't be able to get it seeing as I am stuck[i/] here..." Bellarix snapped "I think I know that now don't I? I know that Tom isn't what he said...that he lied that he loses himself so far to become such a creature." Bellatrix didn't want to bathe tears began rolling down her face again. Turning she went back to the bed under the covers and placing the pillow over her head curling herself in a ball, not wanting to be bothered.
 
Sirius watched Bellatrix and thought about changing tactics. "That's not it is it?" Perhaps anger would crack that exterior first. "You're angry that you were duped and used." Sirius waved his wand and summoned the pillow to force her to look at him or at least be out in the open. "That he played you and you fell for it and in your mind, that makes you weak."

Sirius sent a stinging hex at her arm.

"Weak and vulnerable and you can't handle that can you?" He asked. "And now, you'd rather lay there and wallow in self pity than get up and prove to everyone, yourself included that you're better than even Tom thought you could be." Sirius sent another stinging hex at her wand hand, trying to force a reaction.
 
Hearing his words as he removed her pillow she went to grab it, looking at him with hate and anger burning into her eyes. Listening to him taught her "Shut up Sirius!" Bellatrix snapped he was fueling the fire. Hissing as he hit her with a stinging hex, "Bloody hell! Knock it off!" her body tensed hearing him say those hidious words. "I doubt you really want me proving anything right know Siriusss..." Bellatrix hissed. "I've nothing to prove I know my worth!" Quickly pulling her wand deflecting the hex he sent towards her. Jumping back out of the bed upon landing on her feet Bellatrix waved her wand forcefully, angrily, sending a powerful stunning hex breaking her things in it's path on his way to him. She was fumming looking much like her other counter part in that moment.
 
"If you know your worth, then show me and stop hiding like a scared child." Sirius taunted her. It was a dangerous game, he knew, but this was the strongest reaction he had gotten out of her so far. Sirius kept moving and side stepped or deflected her curses that were sent at him. "Come now, Trixie. You can do better than that."

Sirius sent a stronger stinging hex at her. "Come on, Trixie. Show me that you're better than they thought, show me that it's even worth teaching you!" Sirius kept his curses at just school level and used tactics to keep her moving. He would curse one way then another to force her into the path of his second attack.
 
He definately had Bellatrix's attention wanting to cause pain but she knew better then to use crucio again, seeing where it got her last time. Seeing the hex coming at her dodging it, only to be hit by another one, paying more attention to where he was aiming following it to not get hit. As much as she wanted to push all of her anger and her suffering through a cruico she was fighting hard to not use it but with her anger she didn't want to play fair. "I don't need you to teach me! I don't care anymore!" she snapped firing stinging hexses shooting fire balls at him, fasinated and entertained by fire, forgetting they were in a house. with the hexs flyin most of her belongs were breaking getting stuck in the cross fire. Bella was so fed up.
 
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