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The Wish Game

Granted, the virus was so powerful that it causes your computer to spontaneously combust, causing searing hot plastic shrapnel sailing through your head and torso.

I wish I had searing hot plastic shrapnel sailing through MY head and torso.
 
Granted, although the explosion that caused the shrapnel alreadyinstantly disintegrated you. You never feel the shranel go through your body, as you are being quickly destroyed in a burst of fire.


I wish I had enough money to replace my broken computer so I can stop posting from my iPhone.
 
Granted! You get the money to fix your computer/get a new one but then your iPhone breaks before you get the computer fixed/replaced.

I wish I didn't have to wash my dishes.​
 
Granted! You not only don't have to do your dishes, but even if you wanted to, you can't and they pile up and there are maggots and all sorts of grossness.

I wish I a butt and nice thighs.
 
Granted but all you see are rape and violence in the chat which in turn makes you kill yourself with a spoon.

I wish I had a million dollars.
 
Granted. But as soon as you spend a dime the CIA or whatev comes banging your door down claiming you are an international thief and lock you up for life.

I wish I had a nice warm cup of milk.
 
Granted, but it's poisoned and die slowly and painfully.

I wish my cat could talk so she could tell me what she wants rather than stalking me around the house
 
Granted, but your cat is just following you around to see the chance to kill you.

I wish I would find a long term RP partner.
 
Granted, but they typ lik ethis LOLOLOL and admit after the duration that they're actually eleven years old.

I wish for a 1-up mushroom.
 
Granted, however instead of an authentic 1-Up Mushroom it is simply a mushroom covered in a degree of green mold, and highly hallucinagenic at that. Within the hour you're arrested at a local petting zoo for stomping several turtles to death, claiming them 'minions of evil', much to the dismay of onlooking children. The six o'clock news brands you a monster.

I wish the world had more Flava Flav.
 
Granted. The world, however, gets so much Flava Flav that it burns itself to the ground and everyone dies in the chaos. Good job.

I wish I didn't have a 6 hour work shift today.​
 
Granted. You are laid off, replaced by a robot which does your job far more efficiently. In the coming weeks you are unable to find any work and Unemployment turns you down. Then your house catches on fire. Then your cat catches on fire. Then your neighbor's cat catches on fire. Two months from today you'll have fallen so far that you're dressed like a hoochie mama backup dancing for a Flava Flav video in a back alley somewhere... and there isn't even film in the camera.

I wish I could teach my kitty to high-five.
 
Wish granted. The cat learns and then ripped your hand off when you high-fived.

I wish I could not hear.
 
Granted. You've been such a good girl that Santa* comes ten months early with a shiny new iphone. This iphone turns out to be a Decepticon. And this Decepticon soon transforms into his tiny robot form and climbs into your ear, taking over your brain. His grandiose plot of world domination, however, becomes quickly derailed when he discovers that this host body has boobs. You abandon the evil plan in lieu of staring in awe at the mirror until you eventually die of starvation.

*Note: This is probably an evil Santa.

I wish I could think of something funny to wish for.
 
Granted, but someone passes through and turns an innocently meaningless wish into a sick twisted joke that may or may not make you laugh. You ultimately realize that there is no such thing as an innocent game of fun.

I wish my hair would grow shoulder length. *sigh*
 
Wish granted, but you somehow become a Futakuchi-onna, and the slobbery demon mouth controlling your hair seems to only like foods that are incredibly sticky.

I wish for the ability to communicate with the dead.
 
Granted, but the ability comes and goes. This does not stop, however, a group of devoted followers from flocking to you once news of your power gets out. And it equally doesn't help naysayers who continue to believe that your power is fake. Your supporters feel so strongly about you and your divine ability that they easily take offense to such claims and fights between people with opposing opinions break out at the drop of a hat. Both sides take it to the extreme, with one claiming you're a con artist at best and a cult leader at worst, and the other defending you so vehemently that they start both non-literal, and if those fail, literal witchhunts against outspoken nonbelievers. Everything comes to a head one day in a huge riot which finds you and your followers pinned inside your home, the police surrounding the house. This happens to take place during one of your dry periods, however, and when you fail to prove that your power is for real your own people turn in anger and fear, murdering you.

I wish, I wish I didn't kill that fish.
 
Granted. You had a piggy. He was delicious.

I wish Batman would knock on my door wanting to form the most badass superduo of all time.
 
Granted. You go out with batman and gets ran over by Joker with his brand new tank that he stole from the military base.

I wish my girl could not talk.
 
Granted. She can now only communicate in shrill, ear-splitting shrieks.

I wish for some Vindaloo curry.
 
Granted, but it's gone bad. You need to undergo emergency surgery to get that out of your system. While putting you under, the needle used to supply you with anesthesia is accidently replaced with a needle infected with HIV. Enjoy your aids. and for what?!? Curry.

I wish this thread back to life! BWHAHAHA!!!
 
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