OMEGLE.

Yum

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im looking for a horny girl or woman that wants phone sex
You: Oh baby that's the stuff
Stranger: u horny girl?
You: There's no girls on the internets
You: You're silly
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

XD
Nice pretty. I'm trapped with a fucktard

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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: i am mighty man
You: What a man what a man what a mighty man
Stranger: what do you mean?
You: Well, what do you think I mean?
Stranger: no
Stranger: m/f?
You: Yes?
You: I prefer to consider myself a little of both
You: Do you has penis?
Stranger: yes
You: Delicious
Stranger: long and big
You: Long Duck Dong?
You: Is that you?
Stranger: do you like sex?
You: I do, but it doesn't like me.
You: We tend to get into fights. I had to choke it last night
You: Almost got the cops called on me
You: Did I scare you away?
You: I hope not
You: Love me
You: ...
You: please
Stranger: do you man or woman?
You: I'm ze woman, darling
Stranger: from?
You: I come from France
Stranger: do you like sex?
You: You already asked me that
Stranger: yes
Stranger: why not
You: Why not what?
Stranger:
why afraid
You: I'm not afraid, are you?
Stranger: no
Stranger: ever play sex?
Stranger: ever having sex?
Stranger: helo
You: Yes
You: I has the sex
Stranger: whit whom?
You: Strangers
Stranger: how many time?
You: Couple hundred
You: Oh... wait you mean today or total?
Stranger: today and total?
You: Um, well.... fuck
You: I just turned 14 so it's been about a year.... so a thousand or so? I think that's right
Stranger: mean you sex lovers
You: Yeah baby!
Stranger: how many man?
You: Those were all guys
Stranger: never played with someone Indonesia
You: Nope
Stranger: i want to play sex with you
You: How do you play sex?
Stranger: yes i dont understand
Stranger:
What do you have facebook?
You: No I don't
Stranger: your age?
You: 14, remember?
Stranger: yes
You: k
Stranger: What are you a prostitute?
You: No
Stranger: rude sorry
You: its ok
Stranger: What you delicious vagina?
You: I think so
Stranger: first time playing with whom?
Stranger: helo
You: my bff jill
Stranger: by, I waited too long
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I scared my friend away D8

Stranger: is there anybody out there that wants a 16 year old lesbian from the US not for sex?
You: That's a bit of a specific request
Stranger: i know
You: Something that would end in "Hi I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC"
Stranger: hahaha, no. i'm alex from michigan.
Stranger: and i dont have a television show
You: That's what you say now... then someone will enter a house with an L shaped bar placed randomly in the center of the room and then BAM, headshot, no lemonade for them
Stranger: dude, did you smoke your dinner?

Damn you all, I get the boring ones!

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Greeetingsamundo!
Stranger: asl??
You: 6 billion/whenever I can/my couch
You: You?
You: C'thulu f'taghn?
You: Hm.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Greetings!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Howdy
Stranger: Doody
You: Kukla?
Stranger: Mukla
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Finally, someone who can actually speak, although... in chatspeak. :-(

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Greetings!
Stranger: asl?
You: I'm fine, thanks, how are you?
Stranger: not too bad
Stranger: where u from
You: Excellent!
You: I'm from Chicago. Yes, the whole city.
You: Yourself?
Stranger: o i'm british
You: allo allo allo!
You: wot's all this then?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yoyo wasup dawg
You: XD
You: Random conversations are random.
Stranger: yup
Stranger: ur a guy rite
You: As it happens, I do have dangly bits. Er, that are supposed to be dangly.
You: How about you? Out of curiosity.
Stranger: wut do u think
You: indeterminate. If there were any actual females on the internet, I wouldn't know.
Stranger: haha ouch
You: Coincidentally I'm watching the movie Hot Fuzz right now... odd that I'm randomly talking to a Brit at the same time.
Stranger: ^^
Stranger: i liked that movie
Stranger: not too shabby
You: Like all the best parodies, it serves as a good example of that which it is parodying.
Stranger: aright then u hve fun~
Stranger: hve fun watching
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

wat?

--+Hahvoc Requiem+-- said:

I want to know how to connect with Omegle. XD​

Click to expand...

First post. Or also, just http://omegle.com/

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heey asl?
You: I cannot give that information out at this time as it would compromise our agents in the field.
You: yourself
You: ?
Stranger: i am 17 m
Stranger: ur f or m?
You: Ive been called both
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I actually have used it seriously for a couple of times. I had a nice conversation with a girl on the east coast last night, and I just ended a nice long conversation with a woman in Istanbul.

Even when you're not trying to freak people out, this little thing can be pretty fun. Good find, Dani.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTES
Stranger: 19 m
Stranger: do u want me to
You: fuck yes i do
Stranger: asl??
You: why does that matter
Stranger: i wanna see whether i want to
Stranger: it does
You: Leers*
You: no it dosent
You: dont make it gay
You: well....are you going to or not
You: cause I dont have all day
You: I have a company to run
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I stole a line from Tath! Thank you, Brown Kid!

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!
Stranger: already off
Stranger: haha
You: Excellent!
You: now do that... thing.
You: you know
You: that thing you do.
Stranger: do the hokey pokey?
You: YES!
You: THE DIRTY HOKEY POKEY!
Stranger: mmm
Stranger: want to see me do the dirty hokey pokey on cam?
You: ...
You: Oh, my.
You: Sadly, my messenger metaclient doesn't let me use cams.
You: So unless you have a site...
Stranger: wait, asl first of all?
You: I'm afraid that's classified as a National Security secret.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: we'll i'm a guy. disconnect now if you please.
You: Who's to say I'm not looking for a guy?
You: Or a guy in a dress?
Stranger: haha
You: Or just the dress?
Stranger: well i dont wear dresses sorry
You: Skirts?
You: Skorts?
Stranger: nope.
You: Poet's shirts with no pants?
You: all kind of gauzy and wispy...
Stranger: nope, sorry
Stranger: anyways, /b/, i'd love to cum for you on cam.
You: HELP ME CREATE A TWIN HEADED MOTH POWERED ENGINE OF JUSTICE!
You: thank you, The Tick, for giving me lines.
You: You're quiet like a sneaky weasel.
You: Or is that quiet like a stealthy tortoise?
Stranger: dude, i'm jackin off
Stranger: sorry
You: HAH!
Stranger: calm down lol
You: Well, I can leave you to that...
You have disconnected.

I know! He was loving the dirty hokey pokey!

Stranger: hi m 25 u?
You: 18 f
You: whats up
Stranger: u r from?
You: california.....question do you like watersports????
Stranger: yes
You: Yes, Dolphins jumping through hoops are awsome!!!!!!!! I love sea world
Stranger: yes me also
You: sweet.....how would your dolphin like to jump into my hole???
Stranger: i like it
You: Oh do you?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: a big dolphin
Stranger: u have a pic?
Stranger: ?????????
You: woops
You: sorry,
You: I think you should know.....IM A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: FUCKING LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: GET A REAL FUCKING LIFE
Stranger: Your fucked up
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: yo
Stranger: were u live?
You: on earth
Stranger: haha,
Stranger: you very funny
You: I wanna be a stand up comedian
You: but I have no legs
Stranger: f or m?
You: I dunno, does it matter
Stranger:
you do not have legs?
You: no i do
You: they just tend to walk around and go somewhere every once in a while
Stranger: you live in brazil?
You: nope
You: i find the monkeys very frightening
Stranger: you'r so crazy
You: noooo....the Simpsons said that monkeys run around in the streets
You: why would tv lie
You: HUH TELLL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: you're a man, right?
You: YEHA
Stranger: SORRYYYY
You: about what
You: im the one messing with you lol
Stranger: I'm man too
Stranger: gay, haha
Stranger: is a lie
Stranger: haha
You: that cool, theres lots floating around these days
You: their funny
Stranger: haha
You: welll laterzzzzzz
Stranger:
you like gays?
You: nope
You: I perfer the vagina
You: and womens assholes.....
You: but thats not gay
Stranger: bi?
You: nope only female assholes
You: the only penis i like is my own
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hai..
You: Hey, what's up?
Stranger: nothing
You: That's lame.
Stranger: boring
You: Exactly.
Stranger: mhm..
You: This is so exciting. I CAN BARELY STAND IT.
Stranger: i agree
You: Why?
Stranger: you know what
You: What?
Stranger: im so excited
Stranger: im gonna restart my computer for jokes.
You: Have fun. I'm gonna go jack off to lesbians. Enjoy your restart!
Stranger: i will!
Stranger: you enjoy your lesbians
You: Oh, I will. I will.
Stranger: i bet you will
You: Oh, I so will.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hii
You: Hey.
Stranger: how are you
You: I'm just dandy. Yourself?
Stranger: sam
Stranger: where you from?
You: I'm from Alaska.
You: You?
Stranger: oh dam
Stranger: pa
Stranger: 89798798787798 miles away
You: Dude, that's like...forever away.
Stranger: lol yepp
Stranger: you use msn?
You: Nope. I hate it. It gave my computer crabs.
Stranger: wat do you use?
You: I don't use anything. I think it's all evil.
You: The internetz is all I need.
You: And porn.
You: Can't forget porn.
You: So what's PA like?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: >V<^
You: fDBRGDFsfergh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: steven
You: I CAN'T FEEL MY TOES
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

D= no luck for teh misha.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Are you my mommy?
Stranger: no
Stranger: u from UK?
You: nope
You: Are you from Jupiter's version of Algeria?
Stranger: whats that
Stranger: red spot
You: It's Algeria, ON JUPITER!
Stranger: i'm from earth
You: MOTHERFUCKING JUPITER!
You: Jupiter is such a whore.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Am I too crazy for Omegle?

Stranger: hi
You: Aloha.
Stranger: where are you from
You: Hawaii. Couldn't you tell by the greeting?
Stranger: sorry =(
Stranger: how are you my friend
You: You should be sorry. >.> But I am well and dandy. Yourself?
Stranger: bored and tired
Stranger: i want to travel hawaii someday
You: Really? How come? Personally, I would like to live somewhere exotic. Like Cuba.
Stranger: cool
Stranger: boy or girl
You: Girl.
Stranger: i think hawaaiian girls is cute
Stranger: =)
You: Some of them are. But most of them are plastic skanks.
Stranger: hmm i tink u are in that "some" of them
Stranger: =)
You: Awe. Thanks. That's so cute.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: have u got your photo sweety
Stranger: =9
Stranger: =)
You: Nope.
Stranger: i am sure u are beautiful
You: I never show pictures to strangers.
You: Are you a boy or a girl?
Stranger: i am boy
You: Oh...that might be a problem.
Stranger: why
Stranger: =(
You: Cause I'm a lesbian.
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: do u wanna threesome =P
You: Ew. With a boy? That's so gross. Penises are nasty.
Stranger: 2 girls 1 boy
You: No way. Don't you get the lesbian part? I despise the male penis. That's so insulting to me.
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: can i watch you
Stranger: pls
You: No way.
You: You creeper.
Stranger: even u dont have a photo
You: I could weigh like 300 lbs.
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: i am only 85kg
Stranger: 187
Stranger: ıbs
You: Really? Wow.
You: My girlfriend weighs 121 lbs.
Stranger: nice
Stranger: if u have msn we can talk in there
Stranger: look we talk 1 time
Stranger: if u dont lik me
Stranger: delete then ok
Stranger: ??
You: Sorry, I don't have MSN.
You: Or any other of those silly little communication applications.
Stranger: =/ ok
You: Sorry. Oh, my girlfriend's getting frisky so I'm gonna go take care of that. Have a good night!
Stranger: you too
Stranger: bye
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: I can't find my foot, have you seen it?
Stranger: Is it attacted to your leg?
You: =O Holy shit, no wonder!
Stranger: Yeah!
You: Pff, I never woulda thought to look there!
Stranger: What a silly person you are
You: Silly is the best kind of silly!
Stranger: Because there is only one type of silly?
Stranger: D:
You: All sillies are silly in their own right. One can only be measured in their potential for silliness
Stranger: Mhm
You: SILLY. FUCK YEAH!
You: Now all someone has to do is remove their pants, and it'll be a sillisplosion!
Stranger: Seaking. FUCK YEAH
Stranger: I disapprove of sex.
You: =O How terrible! Why...why that's not silly at all!
Stranger: I know! So you are the silliest of them all!
You: SEX. FUCK YEAH!
Stranger: D;
You: *pelvic thrusts*
You: *humps your face*
Stranger: D:
Stranger: Good sir! Please stop!
You: I never said I was a sir!
Stranger: Wait...A girl with a strong sex drive?
Stranger: No. Fucking. Way.
Stranger: Plus, there are no girls on the internet.
You: >.> It happens, it really does
Stranger: You have fingers. Use them.
You: But they're in my bumhole!
Stranger: You have two hands.
You: I know!
You: My bum stretches like rubber
Stranger: Olawd
You: The slurpy sounds make me laugh
You: teehee!
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: That has never happend to me (A)
You: I usually suggest first timers use live horse penis
Stranger: you is trolling
You: Ragh! Lay waste to villages and suck jelly from eyes and whatnot!
Stranger: And if I refuse?
You: Oh wait, that's ogreing
You: My bad.
Stranger: D:
You:
Stranger: D:
Stranger: I dun lyk seck
You: Whyz?
Stranger: i dannnnnnnnnnnno
Stranger: All I want to do is hold hands
Stranger: So I hold my own
You: Handholding hurray!
Stranger: I know right?!
You: It's almost as good as horse penis!
You: But only almost.
Stranger: eww
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Finally, substance!

You: I"M ON FUCKING FIRE.
You: Oh gawd. It buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurns
Stranger: Better served well-done than raw.
Stranger: -Munches on your leg-
You: You psycho. YOU WOULD BITE ME WHILE I"M ON FIRE?!
You: YOU SICK FUCK
Stranger: -shrugs- Good to eat while it's warm?
You: Whoa.
You: cannibal
Stranger: Zombie, to be precise.
You: Zombies don't care if their food is cooked.
Stranger: ...Hell. I've been owned.
You: Indeed. Failtastic my friend.
You: You may commence with the walk of shame.
Stranger: -Commences- -_-
You: Oh, btws. Would you like some ointment for your burn?
Stranger: Yesplease. -shrinks-
You: -gives ointment-
Stranger: -Applies-
You: So Failure Zombie. What's it like to be owned by a complete stranger?
Stranger: Gotta say, it's a bit embarassing on behalf of the undead.
Stranger: You could just call me Alyssa. -Rolls eyes-
You: I knew an Alyssa.
You: She was a back-stabbing bitch.
You: Are you one of those?
Stranger: -Lifts an eyebrow- I don't believe so.
You: Well, that's a relief.
You: Now I can touch myself more easily at night.
Stranger: It's always good to feel at ease.
You: Indeed.
You: Well, it was fantastic owning you. And you suck as a Zombie. You should try Cannibal. It works better with your fail.
Stranger: I'll look into it, Myster Pwner.
Stranger: Pleasant nights to ye.
Stranger: ...Fuck me. *Mystery
You: I would, but I'm not a lesbian.
You: Have a good night!
Stranger: Ciao. ><
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: male>
Stranger: ?
You: I HAVE THE MAGIC TOUCH.
You: And no. I'm quite female. Especially after the operation.
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: interesting
You: Yeah. My penis was turned into a vagina. It's fabulous.
You: Oh, the wonders of science.
Stranger: wow science has come so far
You: I know, right?
You: I thank science for my body. Because God said, "FUCK YOU."
Stranger: i hear its easier to dig a hole than to build a pole lol i guess its true
You: Yeah.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

--+Hahvoc Requiem+-- said:

Stranger: Better served well-done than raw.

Click to expand...

Hahvy, you should have shot this person for saying that.