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Liberty and Death (Viktoff Samson x Lilbreadstick18)

"Cierra." He said her name in his voice that grew a little deep, just for her. With her fingers laced in his own, he felt a lot more bold. Almost as if the doubt in her words wouldn't fog his dedication up any further. Or, it could be that he felt a need to be forward enough for the both of them. Turn his head and leaning just the right way allowed for her upper body to be tilted to the side and for his forehead to meet her own as he craned his neck just a bit and gathered the perfect distance to look right into her eyes with his kakugan. He was so close that it was as though his body was embracing her just like how her fingers took his. "I think I know of a way to make sure... I mean, about that feeling you were talking about."
 
She stared into his eyes, searching for a sign of what he meant. She was shaking, ever so slightly, knowing that he could feel it but she was past the point of caring. She felt his breath on her, warm and soft, and she raised a hand to his cheek, brushing along his cheekbone and down his jaw, as if she were trying to memorize every bit of it. "W-what? How... what do you mean?" Her heart raced, focusing back on his kakugan.
 
Her finger along his cheek and jaw felt more than enchanting. It was as though he could remember that touch forever. He'd almsot dare to try and give her the same feeling, but he knew he couldn't mirror it perfectly and instead opted to observe more of her while she touched him, smiling softly after as she looked back into his eyes after her words. He could explain it, but instead his face drew a little closer and his eyes slowly began to close, as though their lids were just too heavy, his bottom lip brushed against both of her lips. But, instead of just pressing his lips to her own, his bottom lip took beneath her upper lips and trapped it beneath his own upper lip, sucking on her upper lip briefly before closing the rest of the distance for a very deep kiss. He wouldn't pull back right away and he didn't hesitate in the least.
 
Cierra's heart raced as he leaned closer, closing her eyes to completely embrace the feeling. She ran her hand back behind his head, tangling her hands through his hair and pulling him even closer. She smiled before pulling away, looking into his eyes again and smiling, completely without hesitation or holding back. She wanted him to see how genuinely happy she was. "Oten, I... thank you."
 
He had a little wider of a smile than he anticipated, a brief daze in his eyes after she pulled back before he'd pull himself together and try to look a little more cool.: "You're always welcome." He replied, implying that he'd do it again on a moments notice. His arms had taken back to wrapping around her once more, remembering the feeling of her fingers in her hair making him almost jittery with excitement. "Now, did that make you anymore certain?"
 
Cierra giggled and nodded. "Mhm!" She leaned forward without thinking and pecked him on the lips quick, before moving back and blushing. "S-sorry that was probably unwarranted, I mean I should have asked or..." She played with her hands, trying not to look at him. He had just kissed her, but what if he didn't like it? What if he was just trying to be nice until he could get out of here? He did say he wanted to leave...
 
After the peck on his lips, she confirmed that there was somehow even more adorableness to be found deeper into a relationship with Cierra. She was right, that he felt the need to go and end it all still. But, he was happy to have felt her lips against his own again, to listen to her giggle and the perky sound she made to confirm what he was asking. "You can kiss me whenever you want too." He said to try and calm her, not letting her get away into her methods of distracting herself from her embarrassment as he held her even tighter and smiled, giving her neck a peck and then another right on her throat. Oten's intent moving forward was unclear, even to himself. He didn't think he deserved her, he didn't feel like he deserved to redeem himself and continue living. But, he couldn't deny her now.
 
Cierra smiled at him, one of those big cheesy grins with her eyes closed. She leaned into him and sighed as he kissed her, unsure of what she was doing but certain that she loved every moment of it. At his last kiss she sighed, thinking aloud. "Please don't leave me.." She said it with a smile but there was a hint of sadness in it, as if she were already preparing for the worst. But for now, she let herself get lost in his touch, his embrace, his breath on her neck.
 
He wouldn't take it much further, but he enjoyed feeling her body on his own as she was still in his lap and against his chest. Maybe the sheer difference in their height wasn't super peculiar when they were standing, but she was practically fun-sized sitting here in his lap. Her words reminded him of the awful truth. His destiny, foretold by the only conceivable punishment he deserved. He had to die, not just eventually. Oten's victims didn't get to have full lives with someone they loved. He ended them. There were times that he wasn't even hungry when he lost it.

"Cierra." He whispered to her as he reached a hand up and took her cheek, his forehead on her own. "You could find another guy like me, right? You're funny and so kind."
 
She looked into his eyes, her own already tearing up against her will. What the hell was wrong with her? She didn't need to get so worked up... right? He's just.. just a little insecure is all. She can help that. I mean, he doesn't have any reason to be, but she can show him that! "N-no Oten, I can't. There's no one else like you. No one quite so insightful, quite so wise, quite so..." She paused, searching for the word. "Brilliant." She smiled as she said this, knowing it was the perfect word for him. Absolutely brilliant.
 
"Brilliant?" He repeated her words, smiling a bit as he wondered what he did to lead her to that conclusion. He was certainly not a normal guy, maybe she was right that there wasn't anyone else like him. "You're doing so much to build me up." He tried to shake away his previous thoughts and focus more on what they were currently talking about. He did like the word, and it coincidentally played quite well with how convoluted and confusing his kagune was to wield. If he died, he'd be committing another sin by taking something away from Cierra. What was fair? Surely, those who lost family to his crimes wouldn't just forgive him. He didn't know what to think for sure.

"How long do we have until anyone else is supposed to be home?" He asked, smiling and looking into her eyes.
 
"I don't care," she said softly, but with confidence. "Tell me, why am I having to build you from the ground up? I'm sure you used to be tall and proud, so what knocked that over?" She smirked, playing it lightly, but she wanted to know what was buried under all this rubble. She brushed a strand of hair out of his face and studied him, not unkindly.
 
He liked seeing her confidence in her statement about not caring. It seemed as though she'd be exactly the kind of girl to get flustered and concerned at the idea of getting caught in this position with a random dude in the basement of her parent's home. Maybe he was wrong, or perhaps she was just enjoying herself that much. "Before I was Oten, I was a monster. I ate ghouls that didn't do anything wrong and humans that tried to help me too." He wasn't smiling, and he couldn't look her in the eye as he spoke it. "I was alone and hungry, and I can remember the transition so vividly. My Kagune changed and my brain warped, eating ghoul flesh is a very vile thing to do, after all. After losing a fight with who was supposed to be my prey, I found a reflection of myself and realized that wasn't who I was supposed to be. I've fought that side of me ever since. And I've lost a few times. I hear him, trying to get me to remember and all that. It's haunting. I've never been a tall and proud man. Just a monster and a guilty boy." He admitted more, finally giving her the whole truth. "I want to die because it's the least I can do for the innocents I've killed."
 
Cierra's smirk dropped as soon as he started speaking. She listened carefully but she was fully prepared to support him through his twisted view of himself. On his last sentence, she took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "First, Oten, you can't live in the past. I've learned that the hard way. And you can't dwell on what you've done in the past. Rather than soaking in the guilt, you've got to pull yourself out, recognize what you did, and just... change it. I know it's not that easy, but it starts there honey. I... I don't want to see you hurting like this. And you don't deserve to die, not in the least. If you did, fate wouldn't have brought you to me." She brought his face closer, pressing his forehead to her lips. She closed her eyes and sighed gently. "You're not a monster..."
 
Oten wasn't sure how Cierra was going to respond to what he had to say. Listening to her support him when she didn't know that he murdered and devoured innocent ghouls and humans was tough enough. Now that he did know that she was well aware of his past, and continued to supported him, that was tough enough too,. Of course he wasn't going to stop thinking of himself as a monster, but her kiss to his forehead and her words would cure the swelling in his chest that felt as though his heart was going to turn into a horror movie villain and burst from his chest. He'd smile just a little after she closed her eyes and gave him a sigh. Why did she have to be both so beautiful and impossibly kind? It was as though she was once a little girl that'd keep building sand castles on the beach and just fortify them again and again in attempts to resist the morning tide despite how the last one turned out.

He opened his lips to say something to the contrary teasingly, but he bit his bottom lip and looked over her face one more time first. He couldn't play with her heart over a subject like that. She didn't want to see him broken like this forever, and it was cruel of him to try and joke about it. He'd grin wide and take a bit of her neck between his lips. Both of his hands took to her hips, so big his hands were that it'd be like he was sincerely holding her body under his control anyway. He'd give her a hickey slowly at first, ramping it up if she caught on to his actions until he'd leave a noticeable mark on her neck.
 
Cierra squeaked and blushed. That was certainly the last thing she expected, but she sighed, letting her hands tangle themselves in his long dark hair again and enjoy this. He wasn't exactly avoiding the topic, but she made a mental note to come back to this. She leaned into him, encouraging further, and gave a slight tug to his hair unconsciously.
 
He noticed the tug on his hair, her squeak and blush were motivating enough but now he wanted to get her back another way. His hand on her left hip slipped right under her shirt as he used a single finger to rub at the bottom of her left breast, his teeth pushing against her neck, but he didn't make a move as though he'd break her skin. He'd growl a bit playfully with his eyes closed, gripping at her right hip with a touch less respect and a lot more passion.
 
She gasped as she felt his hand slip up to her breast, her muscles tensing. She was excited, but so nervous. "Oten?" she asked, looking down at him but keeping her hands tangled in his hair, playing with pieces mindlessly as she spoke. "Are you sure this is okay with you?"
 
He'd growl playfully just one more time before releasing her neck from his mouth and giving her a look into her eyes. "Asking a man questions when he's got a mouthful of your neck is rude!" He teased before poking at her nose a touch. "I was in the zone too~" He complained lightly, still smiling.
 
Cierra giggled and leaned forward, touching his forehead with her own. "Sorry I just... wanted to make sure, you know? But if you're that confident..." She rolled her eyes and pressed her lips to his, quickly taking his bottom lip between her teeth and tugging lightly, her hands again burying themselves in his hair.

She had no idea what she was doing, but she knew she loved it. The kind of playful, but still affectionate, embraces. This is what Cierra had been missing in her life. She smiled and bit down just a little bit harder.
 
Maybe normal people concerned themselves with technique and experience. The idea that they were somehow incapable of pleasuring their partner seemed to be such a large driving force for humans that Oten noticed it was a common enough theme for both genders in countless commercials for any sort of product one can imagine. Sincerely, Oten remembered a commercial for juice derived from an off-shoot vegetable that was marketed as a means to increase the time a man can stay hard and remain sexually engaged... somehow. Truly, Oten couldn't have been meant for this so called normal life.

Even if Cierra's lips were persuasive no matter how she decided to make use of them. The premise at the start was that there wouldn't be any 'wrong' answers, but he was surprised by just how Cierra made use of her kisses and body contact to sweep his mind clear out of the danger point and filled his whole being with thoughts of what could be with this smaller well-raised ghoul woman. After what felt like a threat to his bottom lip that grew increasingly more enticing as she bit at him more and more, he'd press into the kiss on his own to make an opening before pulling back and giving her a wide grin.

"You're the one whose gained some confidence." He spoke firmly, even if he sort of was either building her up or taunting her in his own way. His tone was certainly playful, though. "I bet you're willing to do some more daring stuff with me~"
 
Her face lit up bright red as he taunted her. "I- I- I don't know I mean.. I-" She stumbled over her words, trying to find some way to say yes without really saying it. What did he mean by that? What kind of daring? She was excited, anticipating more with him, but what if she messed up? What if she disappointed him? She hated disappointing people, and Cierra had learned from experience that the most surefire way to disappoint someone was to do something that you had never done before.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the front door to the house creaked open and a loud thud was heard from upstairs. "Cierra? Honey? Will you help me unload the car?" her mother called from upstairs. Cierra jumped from Oten's lap, looking like a deer in headlights. "I- I'm really sorry, I have to go, I'll be back as soon as I can!" She dashed out of the room and slid the false door shut quietly before bolting up the stairs.
 
He didn't stop smiling at the sight of her bashfulness, Oten wouldn't have to work very hard to change the color of Cierra's cheeks and to see such a true representation of her mind state at the time. If he did live long enough to be with her to any reasonable extent, he was sure he wouldn't ever be confused about how she feels or what she desires for longer than just a simple moment at a time. She was she sincere and she carried an open heart for sure. With a small wave, he'd see her off before going back to laying down and closing his eyes.

In the time she was away, he'd bask in thoughts of what she'd want of him in this future she wanted him to have. It'd be disappointing if she didn't have anything specific in mind and the drive to keep him alive was fueled only on her intense kindness and nothing more. Not that he'd expect much else, given how modest and soft she was. The kisses they shared was the first time he really felt her become somewhat ravenous, there had to have been more lingering beneath the surface, and he was sure he could find it.
 
Cierra hurried to help her mother pull boxes from the car, peering into some of them to see what kind of project her mom had buried herself into this time.

"What were you doing in the basement honey?" her mom asked gently. Cierra did what she could to steady her voice before replying, "I finished my painting last night, so I decided to start one on the basement window." Her mother smiled sweetly as she handed Cierra another heavy box. "That sounds great. While you're down there, you can clean up a bit." She winked at her as Cierra turned to go inside.

"Once we're done unloading, do you mind if I go back downstairs to keep working on my painting?" Cierra asked from inside.

"Sure honey, just be safe up there and come upstairs for dinner," her mom replied. The girls quickly finished unloading the boxes, then Cierra hurried down the stairs and knocked gently on the wall to Oten's room. "Oten? I'm done. I can probably be down here for a few more hours before my dad comes home."
 
What would her parents even be like? He pondered this as he lay on the bed Cierra had fashioned for him. They couldn't be softies like her, because her life clearly had structure and she appeared to be very well raised. It was unlikely, at least in his mind, that one of her parents provided an easy way out in any circumstance that the other wouldn't. In some families it was easier to exclusively ask one parent for something as they'd be more likely to comply than the other. Though, with how healthy she seemed and how generous she could be, he doubted that her parents were overly strict. After all of the time put into considering the topic, Oten couldn't picture anything substantial, it was all an uncertain blur.

Could this be a product of his lacking in this department?

Even if he didn't imagine that he'd fail to find a way to put himself in front of a bullet train before he could reproduce, he'd think just a little bit about what sort of father he'd be. Realistically, he couldn't be much of a good one. Either he'd be too hands off with his fear of failure, or the drive to prevent that outcome would make him far too controlling and scare his children away. And in that last result, if they got away from him alive that'd probably be the best he could possibly do. That is, in his opinion, of course.

He'd hear her and spoke too quietly to be heard clearly as he suggested that she could enter.
 
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