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Liberty and Death (Viktoff Samson x Lilbreadstick18)

She watched his face morph from one of amusement, maybe some confusion, to what looked to her like some kind of affection. Did he... like her? Was he.. No. She shook it off, ignoring whatever look she just got from him, instead focusing on the blankets.

"No, it'll be fine, they know I go through our stuff all the time. My parents don't really care as long as it's kept clean and I'm safe." She sighed at this thought, remembering the time she used to spend with her parents and how lonely it had gotten.

"Anyways, it doesn't matter. We have to get you all settled in, since you'll be staying for a few days." She winked and skipped past him, having put the rest of the blankets away neatly, and made for the staircase.
 
Of course they cared that she stayed safe. And she was anything but that with him around. Sure enough, it wasn't like he was going to let anyone else hurt her without putting up quite the wallop of a fight. The danger lied within him. He eats without being entirely conscious of what he's doing, at least that's what the split in his mind-state introduced for him way back. He's been Oten for just as long as he's been that monster, no matter how reigned in that monster may be now. It could take as little as a moment for his Kagune to strike and she'd be dead, whether he regained control after or not. It was so fast, and so potent at breaking the most efficient defenses a ghoul can offer. Her innocent and smaller form didn't stand chance.

"You're so loved." He'd speak darkly as he made his way down the steps, further trying to distract himself from the way she caught him and exactly what those feelings might have been watching her before. In some small fashion, he'd wonder if that's what Christmas was meant to feel like. Advertisements with movie snippets from the western world romanticized the concept of the family so significantly and reminded him that he lacked all of it. "Do you pity me, Cierra?" His volume was so low that he wondered if he didn't mean to ask the question and if she'd hear him truthfully or not. Entering the room behind the wall, he'd wait for her and cast an empty-eyed look back at her that heavily contrasted with his kakugan that was so menacing regardless of his expressions.
 
When they made it to his room, Oten looked back at her with such a look that made her heart sink. "I... what? N-no I just. I just saw that you needed some help and quite honestly I did too, you know? I'm not trying to pity you or treat you like a hurt little bunny or something, I'm sorry..." her sentence just sort of died off as she stared at the ground. What was that look for? It was almost like he was angry, but it didn't have the feeling in it that anger had. She was definitely wrong before. He felt nothing for her, and he wouldn't stay for long. He'd just rest up and leave her, and she would still be stuck here, no one to even tell the story to. She sighed and turned to the doorway.

"I'm sorry. There's still some hot coffee, and a bit to eat. If you're still hungry, I'll go out to hunt this afternoon. You can come with, if you'd like, but that would probably be pretty dangerous for you." With that, she sighed and slipped out of the room.
 
"Don't go-"
"Stop, please."
"Stop her, please."

Oten felt the soft membrane that divided himself, so thin that it didn't spare him from the whispers just behind his ears He had to go and do something stupid, his question clearly had some kind of effect on her and it was far from what she deserved. If he could carry firewood for her all day, or hunt for her instead, or just carry her over his shoulders everywhere they went, he would. And yet, he didn't lift her up. This was the person he was, and he knew that. There was a moment where he let himself belief that she had the unrequited love he needed to brave his rough surface and mend the tear in his heart. But, it was a foolish idea. He'd push her away or hurt her, just like everyone else. Watching her leave, it was impossible for him to mind her question as his sharp red pupils narrowed impossibly and wavered back and forth, paired with his parting lips.

She was gone. And it was his fault.

It didn't ultimately matter that she'd probably come back to check on him, this feeling was all of the proof that he needed that he couldn't stay any longer than he promised without causing her unnecessary harm. It wasn't cold in the room, but his chest felt as though it were encased in ice so constricting that each delayed bleat of his withered heart grew almost painful. He'd gather up the blanket before wrapping it around his shoulders, covering his chest as he'd sit in the corner and bow his head. Like this, he didn't move. The swirling voices echoing as though the space behind his eyes were so hollow, and he'd swallow his guilt instead of reaching for the coffee that once enticed him.
 
Cierra moved to her easel, wanting to stay near him. At least this would keep her occupied, and she could know that he was okay. She picked up her brush and stared at her subject. But she couldn't seem to do it. Her thoughts were so wrapped up in Oten that she couldn't focus on anything else. Of course she didn't pity him, she- she thought he was incredible. Strong, and brave, for fighting off the doves like that. Surviving so much, surviving when it was so clear that he was a ghoul. He was incredible.

She turned and glanced at the doorway, considering going to talk to him again, then decided against it. He probably wants time alone, right? He's clearly been through some trauma, he'll need time to himself. Cierra turned back to her canvas and picked up her brush again. Okay. Just finish the mud and the dirt, then she can go see him again, make sure he's alright.

After about 20 minutes of painting, she decided she had to go check on him. Things had been suspiciously quiet. Maybe he'd fallen asleep? But she had to make sure. She just wanted to check. She rinsed her brush off and set it down, quietly padding across the basement to Oten's room. She peered through the doorway hesitantly. "Oten?"
 
Seconds began to feel as tough to break as hours used to be, the haunting sounds of his gleeful laughter behind the split spilling into the metaphorical hollow behind his eyes. He wanted to dig his fingertips into his flesh, if not to render himself unrecognizable, then to at least sheer away enough of himself to ignite his healing process and limit his combat capabilities. The former to spare himself the bloodied smile of his own face in the mirror if he lost it and woke up like in his past, and the latter to offer Cierra a better chance at defending herself if he really did finally respond to the voices once more. The whispers tried to persuade him to laugh, they'd demand it from him over and over in such a short chant. And yet, he bit his lip and shut his eyes much more firmly.

The horror came to an immediate halt at the sound of her voice, his smile etching it's way across his lips as he'd raise his head with his eyes shut. "Yes, Cierra?" He'd try to put on the air that what happened before didn't deeply trouble him, that his time alone after feeling her grace wasn't so immensely horrific, and it helped to shield her from his eyes. Not that she was afraid of his kakugan, this was the illogical self-hate that all people had in some form or fashion. It was normal to be unsatisfied with who one was born was despite being received to be perfectly normal on average. "Please, have a cup of coffee. I may get one myself."
 
Cierra blinked at him and tilted her head. He had looked up at her, with his eyes still shut... She decided to leave it be for now, and made her way to the table to pour them both a cup of coffee. He was acting very strange.. "I- um. Just wanted to check in on you. Feeling any better?" she asked, plopping down on the bed and extending to him a mug of coffee.

Something was definitely different. His smile seemed on edge, muscles tense, and he seemed to be shaking ever so slightly. Cierra watched him, hoping it was just his body in the process of healing, thinking maybe it was the pain of reconstructing himself. She had never been through much in the way of healing, only minor cuts and bruises. He could be in immense pain...
 
He found it so hard to lie to her after a direct question. lying to her was fairly rough on it's own and he'd probably never work his way into telling the truth if it weren't for how much of her personal safety was truly on the line. If she was going this far for him, the least he could do is let her make that decision while being a informed as possible. The scent of the coffee wouldn't help him be honest, quelling the strong emotions within his head to tell her exactly what was going on or to fib and keep up his forced smile.

He could tell by the scent and the sounds roughly where she was and where the coffee mug was. He'd search the area in front of him with his right hand until he gently came upon the mug and took it's handle, guiding it to his lips for a sip. "It's so much worse, when I'm alone. I hear things that aren't there."
 
Cierra tilted her head as he spoke, curious that he still hadn't opened his eyes. She had to really think about how she wanted to answer this. Obviously he was suffering from something, but what? And she didn't want to trigger it. She thought for a long moment then said quietly, "Then I'll do the best that I can to make sure that you aren't alone ever. There might be times where I have to leave, for our safety, but I'll stay with you as much as I can." She sighed, hoping that would comfort him if only the slightest.

She wondered what he heard. Voices? That was common among some people, though she had never experienced it before. Monsters? Other ghouls? She hoped that it wasn't dangerous to herself, but it seemed to be dangerous to him. She sipped her coffee as she began to consider what could be done to prevent it.
 
She wouldn't have to go that far if he just had the strength to not step out of the way of a dove's attack the next time they nearly had him. Was this a form of karma for how he evaded the chance to give his victims what little justice they deserved? To be reminded of the fondness and warmth he didn't deserve? Brought so close to the future he so desired, and dangled Cierra's wonderful heart just outside of the skin of his lips? He knew he had to die at some point, and that if he gave in and opened himself up to Cierra now, he'd give up his attempt to make good on his debts. His sins couldn't be ignored, and he wasn't going to allow himself to move forward much further with his admissions to her.

Another sip to his coffee came before he sighed and tilted his head. "I'll try to get back out there on my own before you gotta worry about your safety. It's the least I could do."
 
Cierra frowned at him, furrowing her eyebrows in frustration. "But... but you promised me you'd stay." She huffed and stared into her coffee for a while before asking, "Why won't you let me help you? I don't want to pity you, don't want to treat you like a kicked puppy, it's just. I like you. I've been... happier today than I've been in a while... albeit a little frustrated." She laughed, hoping to add a little humor to the situation, but worried that he might take that last bit more seriously than she meant it.
 
He'd slowly open his eyes after hearing what she said, looking down into his own coffee as he finally felt okay again. Something about Cierra was more than calming. It wasn't enough that she caused ripples across his surface, her ripples canceled out the waves of his insanity. Listening to her gave him something to focus on other than the monster in his head. The monster that's devoured the young and the innocent so freely once before.

"You like me?" He spoke softly as he'd appear as though he'd stop carrying something that weighed a ton. He couldn't look up yet, but his smile was soft once more and it no longer showed signs of being forced. "Something like me?" He'd speak again before looking up to her and letting his kakugan find her eyes and to search for at least a moment. It didn't seem like he put much weight on her statement about getting frustrated. That was only natural in his mind, to be frustrated with him or to even desire his death. He felt both for himself on a regular basis as it was. "Are you sure you wouldn't feel that way if you rescued any other ghoul?" Oten pondered the question to himself as he found himself wondering if that hope he just felt might have been empty. It couldn't be possible that he was special in his mind.
 
Cierra blushed as he rephrased her statement as a question and automatically began stammering. But when she saw the expression on his face, searching, she quieted to listen and let him gather his words.

"Yes. Yes I'm sure," she said, resting a hand on his. She was nervous, but it was the only other thing she knew to do to comfort him. She considered whether she should explain this or not. "You're very thoughtful, selfless, kind, and insightful. Just to name a few. You're a good guy Oten, and I believe good guys deserve a better chance than you've been given." She smiled at him, then looked down at their hands, blushing.
 
Listening to her words as she spoke with her hand over his own, he'd look right into her eyes further without reacting at all at her move to have her hand over his own. It was clear that he either didn't put so much weight on the contact or that he welcomed it completely. As he caught her blush at the end of her statement, his fingers laced into her own until he held her hand that recently took his, holding her hand firmly and intimately without crushing her under his strength. "Your heart is so big, Cierra. When even I can't find what's supposed to be good in me from the inside, you find me and build me up until I can't deny you." He laughed softly at the end of his sentence before giving a bit of a sigh.

"I'll try to be a lot less doom and gloom, okay?"
 
Cierra giggled and sniffled a bit, squeezing Oten's hand. "Okay." She sat for a moment, just enjoying his warmth, before she bounced where she sat. "So! What do you wanna do? Paint? Draw? Read? Ummm I'm sure there's more stuff.." She looked off in a corner of the room, thinking of ways to spend all the time they had.
 
He felt her squeeze his hand before speaking, her sniffle giving him some small level of concern, but he'd continue listening to her instead of choosing to interrupt her to ask if she's okay. He'd laugh a little more at the end of her statement, the way she trailed off left things very open ended. Setting his coffee down, he'd use his free hand to help her move her coffee to the floor safely before pulling her right into his lap so that she'd sit facing away from him and he'd lock his arms around her. "I've been catching you blush a lot, cutie." He whispered darkly with a grin, clearly playing as he held her tight in the suggestive position. "You've got something you haven't said, right? Now you gotta tell me~ Or I'll tickle you until you do!"
 
What is he- Cierra thought as he moved the mug from her hand. But her question was soon answered as he tugged her into his lap. She squealed, giggling and quickly felt the blood rush to her face even as he mentioned how often she did it.

She started stammering, trying to figure out how to respond to this. "I- I just. I don't mean too I just. Um. Well?" She turned to look at him, heart beating much faster than before.
 
"Well, of course it's involuntary!" He responded, his smile being clear even in his tone as he slipped his thumbs under the bottom of her shirt and ran his finger tips tauntingly over her soft skin. He wanted her to know that he wasn't inexperienced when it came to tickling before she'd decide to either avoid the question or answer different questions instead. "There's something you're not being entirely honest about, and your heartbeat and strawberry colored cheeks aren't lying to me~." He'd whisper this one before threatening to raise her shirt as he unveiled her belly button. His arms were so strong that it was unlikely even a sudden burst attempt to escape would render her any success.

"We both want you to make it out of this without wetting yourself, surely. Time to fess up~" He'd cheer and taunting at the same time, not minding that his long hair would mix with her own and even show over her chest as he was leaning forward so that his head as above her own.
 
Cierra giggled as Oten's hair tickled her, then stuck her arms out and pushed to get away, straining against him. When she realized that it was definitely futile, she gave up, huffing in mock frustration. "It's... it's nothing." She stared at her hands, embarrassed and unsure how to phrase what she wanted to say.

"I just.. really like you. Glad that, um, glad I found you." She played with her fingers nervously, shivering at the feeling of his hands on her.
 
Her efforts to escape him were just as endearing as her words about how she felt finding him and having him around. In a way, he almost wanted to let her go. Oten's lips were hidden by her own hair as he listened to her, feeling her body against his own as she spoke so nervously. Cierra was adorable in his eyes, almost as wonderful as she was attractive and it was hard for him to let her go even if she convinced him that he absolutely had to let her go.

"You said that before, silly." He whispered to her before one of his hands went flat on her belly beneath her shirt, his cheek resting on her head as he touched her like this, being so tenderly close to so much more. And yet he didn't jump right to her vulnerabilities. He mingled with these much more innocent touches without actually moving to tickle her or to commit something sexual to her body. He just didn't pull that trigger. "More than like, right?" He spoke very slowly, his voice sounding low as though he wasn't smiling.
 
She smiled gently as Oten rested his head on hers. She had no idea, but she had been craving such gentle affection for so long... She sighed, closing her eyes and putting her hands over his. But when he asked that... her voice shook as she struggled to answer. "I- I don't know..."
 
Touching Cierra felt so right. His fingers beneath her hands were so alive. He wanted her to just say yes, it felt so natural to be with her like this for Oten. An admission was all he needed to keep going. And instead, he couldn't feel the same joy in her voice than the other times they spoke positively. He felt as though this was inappropriate and she didn't know how to tell him to stop. He'd frown to himself, his hands loosely falling from her as he lacked the will to raise his head from her own. "I'm sorry. Cierra." He'd be unable to hide his disappointment in himself with his voice.
 
She unconsciously grabbed his hands, bringing them back to her. "N-no don't be sorry. I just don't know.. I've never... had this with anyone before. I'm not quite sure how to react yet." She held his hands close to her chest, not wanting to lose this feeling so soon. She sighed, hoping that she hadn't scared him off.
 
To his shock, she admitted something he just previously thought to have been just his imagination and in her hurry to return his hands to her body, his fingers grazed a little too high and he definitely touched something he didn't think he should have. And yet, he didn't pull away this time either. It'd be so much easier for her to move his arms when he wasn't fighting her and this time he wasn't. He did light up a little bit on his face, though. "Uhm, I just touched your..." He started, speaking as though he were going to apologize.
 
Cierra gasped, her face flushing. "Oh um, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" She hoped he wasn't drawn away by that either, though she wasn't sure how she felt about that yet. She certainly wasn't against it, but she didn't really have any prior experience so she had no idea what to do... She laced her fingers through his nervously, squeezing his hands without really realizing it.
 
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