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What's Keeping You From That Request?

Deante

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
120
Location
Tennessee
#1
What keeps you from answering a request thread that would ottherwise appeal to you? What is the thing you keep seeing that turns you off or otherwise locks you out from approaching that person? Or on the flip side, saying no/not answering the person approaching you; what is it time and again you are being asked to participate in that you do not want a part of?

Not kink bashing, only "This is my limit, and I keep butting up against that limit."
 

Deante

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
120
Location
Tennessee
#2
For myself, it comes down to two things:

1. NonCon/Dubcon or heavy abuse. For me both characters have to want anything that comes along, or else I get squicked. It's a really common request and I find myself skipping a lot of threads.

2. "No Furries". Pretty self-explanatory. I'm coming to BR for non-human play. Most on BR aren't.
 
Joined
Aug 30, 2014
Messages
728
#3
I've come to learn that if someone really insists on certain kinks I can't stand, they may try to sneak it in even if they agreed not to - so I proceed with huge caution.
 
Joined
Dec 16, 2018
Messages
24
Location
Western, U.S
#4
I won't even send a message of interest if I'm unsure I have time to write in the future. If I love a plot or writer I'm hard pressed to leave them hanging. Loosing the steam of interest and forgetting where we were heading to in the story sucks. It's likely to fuzzy and die after a good chunk of time has gone by.
 

The Goodman

Super-Earth
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
270
Location
MST
#5
What keeps me from approaching someone after reading their request thread?

1. Discord/other off site messaging service only
I want to write stories. Not cyber. And even when people write well, as soon as you give them access to you on an instant chat program, you're expected to be available all the time and/or they try to send you OOC messages while you're trying to write a reply. Private messages are easy to set aside but if you're on a live chat and someone sends you a message and you don't reply, you're "ignoring" them. It's a bizarre, stifling way to interact with someone you're trying to write with.

2. Too much need to kink/BDSM focused
I want to write stories. I do get aroused and beat off to good rp sex scenes but I'm not starting an rp with that goal in mind. So, the Master/slave thing where that's all the characters do and it's the only thing that happens in the story? Not for me.

3. FxF only
I can write female secondary and tertiary characters and will often do so to move a story. But my main character will always be male.

4. Infrequent posting is promised/warned
If we're rping and we have a good relationship ooc, and you suddenly can't post for a week, that's fine. I'm still here and we pick up when you're not busy. But if you start out right away in the request thread telling me that I shouldn't expect at least one post daily from you, then I likely won't even bother sending a message. Nothing against busy lives but I'm looking for someone to write with, not someone to wait for.
 

Engagers7

Super-Earth
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
105
Location
Canada
#7
As for me, there are 4 things that would keep me away from a certain request thread.

1: advanced level of grammar needed :
I know people like when people write correctly, but some of us dont even have English as their main language, I have been often rejected because of the odd way I write, since my first language is actually french.

2: Non-con/rape/BDSM :
I really dont like adventuring into those type of RPs, just the idea of forcing either a man, a woman or a futa to pleasure you by brute force is just wrong to me. I would feel immediately bad and would cancel the RP If any Non-con show up. Except if its off-story involving a side character.

3: When I play female character, having them treated like toys or sluts:
I know a lot of people are into this, but when I play as a female character, I highly prefer to have them treated like actually human beings. A woman with feelings is actually way sweeter to have sex with, especially I do tend to play pretty strong willed woman and also the shy and nerdy type.

4: when embarking into an harem setup, the choice of woman have no diversity:
That is by far one of the most annoying thing to me. I do see some people (and I apologize if I offend ya with what is coming.) That have no diversity in their women, which will turn me off from that RP almost immediately. Why having an harem of 4 girls with large breast with the only difference being hair and personality. I really enjoy when they have different body types, for exemple a girl with a smaller body and average bust, or a tall girl with a small chest, but wide hips to compensate!

Ouff, that kinda felt like a rant, but it was a fun thing to share!
 

MisterKing

Super-Earth
Joined
Jan 21, 2015
Messages
127
Location
Under a bridge
#8
Honestly I'm a fan of Discord-based RPs, especially for the slow-burning ones or ones with huge casts. I'll create an entire server for the two of us, and separate the channels appropriately so everything can be simultaneously in the same place and clearly delineated. A lot of this is personal preference, sure, but the interface to me is way cleaner and more responsive than BMR (although BBC-based forums will always be my childhood sweetheart(s)).

Anyway, as an actual response to the thread, depression/laziness/fears of not meeting expectations (mine or my partner's) are the biggest ones. I'm a slow-ass writer even when I'm not curled up somewhere daydreaming about my demise, and the longer these posts take the less likely they are to manifest. This has an unfortunate snowball effect, although I'm doing some drills and exercises to hopefully alleviate some of these faults.
 

The Quill

Super-Earth
Joined
Jun 16, 2018
Messages
214
Location
Eastern Time Zone
#9
What keeps me from responding to a search thread?

1) Discord/Offsite/Threads Only

I have no intentions of ever getting Discord or playing by e-mail or instant messenger. Tried it once and absolutely hated it. I also prefer to keep my one x ones private with my partners away from prying and judging eyes, a main reason why I don't do threads either.

2) Insistence on Kinks I'm Uncomfortable With

We all know what kinks we enjoy and don't enjoy. Trying to coerce me into doing kinks I don't like, particularly furries, watersports, and non-con, is a big no for me.

3) M/F Only

I'm a LGBT writer. M/F bores me and no matter how many times I attempt it, I can never make a story last. I prefer to write with people who are open to and accepting of LGBT characters and people.

4) First Person Only

I hate first person perspective. It creeps me out to be honest and it makes me feel like you're making yourself the character as opposed to creating an original, three-dimensional character. It's great if it works for you, but it's not for me.

5) Infrequent Posting

It's fine if we're already writing together and you notify me of an upcoming absence, but I prefer a partner who can give me at least a reply a day as I enjoy a faster paced story. Nothing against you, but if I see a thread that only promises one reply a week, I'm not going to be interested in writing with that person.

6) Demanding Your Writing Partner Be A Certain Gender

This is probably my biggest pet peeve of forum based adult writing communities and I ignore any thread that does this.

7) Obnoxious and Condescending Thread Titles

This is rude and it automatically gives me a bad vibe. I don't care if our interests align perfectly, I do not want to write with people who act this way on the forum.
 

The Goodman

Super-Earth
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
270
Location
MST
#10
Adding one, but clarifying, it's not necessarily something that turns me away from a request thread but whenever I see them pop up, I don't even look at it: pairing lists. Like, the bare bones

Werewolf x vampire
Mage x thief
Evil king x princess
Teacher x student
Etc.

I scroll right past them because they're useless. There's no context. What's the story? What's the fantasy? A werewolf pairing with a vampire could mean a lot of things and simply listing it forces me to ask all the questions about what you want from that. It's dumb. I much prefer little blurbs for story ideas. Even just a sentence could clarify what werewolf x vampire is desired.

I know, like, "use your imagination" and all, but the honest truth is, the person who wrote the list is not gonna say yes to ANY werewolf x vampire plot you bring to them. They had something in mind. And I'm supposed to guess. If I'm gonna do that anyway, I might as well ignore the silly list and just float them my ideas that fit the rest of the criteria for their thread.
 

Chai

Thot™
Joined
Aug 24, 2017
Messages
72
Location
United States
#11
To be honest, for me it’s not really about the content within the request thread itself. I tend to look through post history for existing and previous roleplay. If I don’t find anything or I get the sense that the writing won’t match with mine, then I won’t send a request for roleplay. I’m picky like that when it comes to roleplay partners.

PM only. Discord only. Offsite RP. I won’t do any of them because I exclusively write via threads.

I immediately click off any request thread that mentions “Dom/sub” or “Master/slave”. Likewise, I ignore every single PM I get that has “Dom/sub” or “Master/slave” in it, specifically because I mention in my request thread that I don’t write those cliche domination plots where the sub turns into a hungry cockslut bimbo within the first 10 posts of the RP.

I also don’t roleplay with anyone that sets post schedules or post length requirements. I can write a post a day if I have the muse for it, and I can write a post a week if I don’t. I can also write 2000-word posts and 200-word posts that are equal quality. I don’t dictate how my partners do their hobbyist writing, therefore I don’t want someone dictating how I do my hobbyist writing.
 
Joined
Sep 28, 2013
Messages
5,032
#12
If someone has a really annoying typo or some glaring grammar problems in their thread, it'll make me slither off. It's petty, I know, but this is a site where writing is a big deal.

I like fandom stuff but anyone who only wants to play their OC's is instantly muted in my mind. Fuck that noise.
 

Mr Quixotic

The Lowest Form Of Wit
Supporter
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
2,408
Location
Australia
#13
Adding one, but clarifying, it's not necessarily something that turns me away from a request thread but whenever I see them pop up, I don't even look at it: pairing lists. Like, the bare bones
I'm the same as you with the pairings Goodman; without context, they're meaningless.

PM only. Discord only. Offsite RP. I won’t do any of them because I exclusively write via threads.

I immediately click off any request thread that mentions “Dom/sub” or “Master/slave”. Likewise, I ignore every single PM I get that has “Dom/sub” or “Master/slave” in it, specifically because I mention in my request thread that I don’t write those cliche domination plots where the sub turns into a hungry cockslut bimbo within the first 10 posts of the RP.

I also don’t roleplay with anyone that sets post schedules or post length requirements. I can write a post a day if I have the muse for it, and I can write a post a week if I don’t. I can also write 2000-word posts and 200-word posts that are equal quality. I don’t dictate how my partners do their hobbyist writing, therefore I don’t want someone dictating how I do my hobbyist writing.
Beautifully said, Chai.

As usual, we're on the same wavelength!

The three main ones that'll immediately have me clicking the back button on the RT:

1) "I only write submissive characters." (As a general rule, I don't even bother to click on those that mention Dom/sub or Master/slave, etc in the title!)

2) "I don't write via threads/in public."

3) Demanded or expected daily postings or rapid-response rates. While I aim for at least one post a week, I'll reply as muse/real-life allows, and ask no more of my partners in return. It's a hobby; I already have a job!
 
Last edited:

Chai

Thot™
Joined
Aug 24, 2017
Messages
72
Location
United States
#14
Beautifully said, Chai.

3) Demanded or expected daily postings or rapid-response rates. While I aim for at least one post a week, I'll reply as muse/real-life allows, and ask no more of my partners in return. It's a hobby; I've already got a job!

Thanks, Quix!

We’ve talked about this before, but BMR definitely feels like it caters to a faster crowd as opposed to a place like E. The pace itself is fast. Faster bumping, more smut centered roleplays, faster posting expectations. It works for a lot of people, but it becomes kind of hard for the rest of us who want to write a couple posts a week and can’t keep up with most of the posting demands I see frequenting the request threads
 
Joined
Sep 29, 2016
Messages
580
Location
Maine, USA
#15
Usually a request thread (In this case, a LOT of them) start out good until I find the only thing they crave is basically being used and abused. I find it so boring so I've no choice but to click out of the thread. Or they require such rigid expectations that, even if I meet all the criteria, it makes me wonder how controlling they'd be during the RP itself. Stepping out of that proverbial box might end an otherwise interesting play.

Also when their no's just mean we'd not be compatible as they just happen to dislike a few key things I deeply enjoy, so it's best to just not bother or we'd be walking on eggshells the entire time.

Or requiring Discord, the most annoying platform to RP on IMO when keeping RPs on site just feels like a better idea. I don't want to have to use a million tools just to RP. I wanna keep things condensed in one spot.
 

Deante

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
120
Location
Tennessee
#16
To be honest, for me it’s not really about the content within the request thread itself. I tend to look through post history for existing and previous roleplay. If I don’t find anything or I get the sense that the writing won’t match with mine, then I won’t send a request for roleplay. I’m picky like that when it comes to roleplay partners.

PM only. Discord only. Offsite RP. I won’t do any of them because I exclusively write via threads..
I feel on the outs there; I rarely manage to land RPs with people who do threads. I want threads, for the very reason you cite: examples (and it’s easier to edit a post than a PM). But if no one’s willing, I do PM.

I1) "I only write submissive characters." (As a general rule, I don't even bother to click on those that mention Dom/sub or Master/slave, etc in the title)
I take it you don’t approach many, then? ;)

That feels like 90% of threads.
 

Deante

Super-Earth
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
120
Location
Tennessee
#17
Another: only an interest in playing Pre-made characters. Examples are fine, but being inflexible about who you play is an instant turn off.
 
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
270
Location
MST
#18
@Deante yes! Even if someone says the character can be adapted to whatever story, it feels strange to have a "stable" of character profiles that get adjusted for individual stories.

I come up with new characters for each story and I don't really know who they are until I'm writing my opening post. I like character dynamics, conflict, and complimentary traits. so, even if I have a bare bones idea for a story, it can be altered based on partner discussions and/or their character, all during the planning stage. So, for that reason, seeing someone with a journal of characters already made, with backstories and face-claims, feels very restrictive to me.

That being said, it's not a deal breaker. It's kind of one of those things I gloss over and don't bother with unless I have to. I will not read your character's history. In the end I feel like in my pursuit of story, I'm very flexible. Whatever kinks you want, I'm probably game; whatever faceclaim you want, for me or you, that's fine(if it's not someone I like, I'll do what I want on my side regardless; it's my head). so, if you come to me with some standard character, I don't mind adjusting things to fit. It's just odd.

On the other hand, if you demand a character sheet from me, that is a deal breaker. I don't know if you're going to stick around and the way I find my own characters is discovering them through the action of the story. And guess what? There's some things about my character's past that I don't want you to be aware of right off the bat because 1. it might not be relevant or come up at all and 2. I don't want your character reactions to be affected by crap they don't know/shouldn't know. So, putting in meaningless effort and time to figure it all out and hammer the details is a waste of time, when it'd be much more valuable to reveal it organically and through action.
 

Chai

Thot™
Joined
Aug 24, 2017
Messages
72
Location
United States
#19
People who have a set list of face claims.
People who want you to play a certain faceclaim but don't offer that same courtesy back.

And honestly, run-on sentences in request threads. If I see them there, I know they'll pop up in the roleplay itself, and they drive me up the fucking wall.
 

bodman54

Super-Earth
Joined
May 27, 2018
Messages
276
Location
Rhode Island, USA
#20
For me the biggest thing is demanding long responses. I tend to be on the somewhat shorter length. Not one liners. but a paragraph or two. I just cant bring myself to put in every little detail. Especially in scenes that's mostly dialogue. Those people who say that they regularly post 1000+ words and expect the same from me are a no for me.
 

ShyRPer

Super-Earth
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
208
#21
When I see that someone has hard no for non con or rape, I can't reply to them since I can't do without non con or rape. Sometimes they had a idea that I liked but then it turns out to be idea I like, without non con or rape. Discord only is another thing that will stop me from replying. Sometimes I will check with the person, if they RP via PM, if it's not clear on their thread.
 

Mr Quixotic

The Lowest Form Of Wit
Supporter
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
2,408
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Australia
#22
1) "I only write submissive characters." (As a general rule, I don't even bother to click on those that mention Dom/sub or Master/slave, etc in the title!)
I take it you don’t approach many, then? ;)

That feels like 90% of threads.
I don't, and given I also only write on threads, you can imagine my prospective partner pool is extremely limited :)

At least on BMR.

Things are easier on Elliquiy which trends much towards thread writing and offers greater story/character variety.
 

Alvis Alendran

Supporter
Supporter
Joined
Jan 14, 2009
Messages
3,276
Location
Canada
#23
Offsite/Dsicord is a hard off for me, which has been annoying at times since there've been good offeres for good stories in a thread, but I have to walk away from it then.

I do admit to being more likely to move on from a thread when a person is a hard no on non-con, even if the story that Iw as looking into had nothing to do with it. I dunno, I just don't like the option not being on the table really. I've gotten better about it in recent days, but...meh. It's been an issue in the past.
 

bodman54

Super-Earth
Joined
May 27, 2018
Messages
276
Location
Rhode Island, USA
#24
Another thing I realized is when all of someone's prompts say that they'll play one character and say that I'm going to play many. I dont like doing those because I feel like im being forced to be super creative while they just sit back and worry about their one character. If there are going to be multiple people, then let's split the duties
 

Chai

Thot™
Joined
Aug 24, 2017
Messages
72
Location
United States
#25
Another thing I realized is when all of someone's prompts say that they'll play one character and say that I'm going to play many. I dont like doing those because I feel like im being forced to be super creative while they just sit back and worry about their one character. If there are going to be multiple people, then let's split the duties
Oh my god this is a huge one. It's why I can't play harem roleplays with 98% of people, because they want me to include all these main female characters, plus minor characters, and they want to play their one male character. I find it especially hard because at some point their posts get way too retroactive in order to respond to my multiple characters, and it slows the story down way too much.
 
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