What's Keeping You From That Request?

[Iridescence]

1) Discord/Email/other IM service roleplays. That said, I did briefly break this rule on a couple of occasions while the site was undergoing the big conversion a while back. For those I did offer to write offsite with though, I only did so because I consider them good friends, and trusted they wouldn't abuse my faith in them to still respect my boundaries regardless of where we were conversing/writing. But to casually hand out my offsite contact information to a stranger as pretext to a roleplay... not happening.

2) Anime fandoms. I have been known to indulge a few fandoms here or there, but this is the one genre that simply does not appeal to me. I don't watch anime, so when I see a request thread which lists a number of anime series or characters, I back out. Nothing against those who do enjoy it, of course. To each their own.

3) Requests that consist of a single sentence reading "(Blanky blank) looking for fun roleplays! PM if interested!". Those are a hard pass every time. If you can't bother to put in enough effort to even tell me about one thing you might be looking for, then I can't be bothered PM you and play twenty questions to find out.

 

[Chai]

1 - A long list of pairings. Sorry, but if the amount of effort or creativity you put into your RT is listing things as generic as Boss/Employee or Princess/Knight, then I have a pretty good idea of what a potential roleplay is gonna be like.

Oh my god, THIS, lmao. I honestly even prefer one-line plot bunnies over pairings. “My ex just walked in—pretend to be my boyfriend real quick? I swear I’ll make it up to you later.”

Even that tells me more than “boss/employee” or “princess/knight.” Pairings require absolutely no thought or effort, but then, I find that people who can usually work with pairings are more about a slice of life roleplay as opposed to a more directed roleplay. Which is cool for them, I’m just not about it.

 

[MellowYellow]

I got another one. Stop me if this sounds familiar.

'Hello yes, I'm very interested in playing opposite a wide variety of different thing. Men of different ethnicities, alien races, fantastical creatures, monster men and the like. Buuuuut I'm only interested in playing a submissive willowy pumpkin spice latte white girl and won't step one solitary nanoangstrom from that comfort zone.'

 

[Iga]

I think there are a few things that will immediately make me say, 'no':

#1) What even are grammar?

So there's two sides of this - namely the two extremes. The first being the most obvious: the person who doesn't even try. If I see a request thread and it's written in all lowercase and without punctuation then I'm going to be turned-off from roleplaying with you. I've roleplayed with people with questionable grammar in the past and at best I've only gotten confused a few times by their posts, at worst I have no idea what they're saying. I'm a bit more leniant if English isn't your native language and you want to learn (as someone who is learning a second language I know how brutal it is), but please try. On the other hand I'm going to be equally turned-off by people who might as well be promoted to "Grammar Hitler". Mistakes happen, and my grammar isn't perfect so I will screw up at some point. If you're someone who wants dissertation-level grammar in my posts, then no, just no. I will try, and I ask you to do the same, but I'm not going to roleplay with someone who goes through each post with a fine-comb.

#2) Shit Happens

Real life is unpredictable, and I respect it when partners let me know beforehand when they're going away for an extended period of time (I will do the same), but for the love of God don't constantly poke me about when I'm going to respond. I once had a partner who I was having a pretty fun time writing with, but one day I was unable to get online (it was my turn to post in the thread), and when I came back the next day I had a storm of messages from them. The last message I got from them being, "if you didn't want to roleplay with me you should've just told me." A. Day. I was gone for a day. If I see this kind of clingy behaviour I will immediately end things with my partner, no matter how much I enjoy the roleplay we have going. I have noticed a few cues in request threads to tell me if a person is particularly clingy, but it's not foolproof. On a similar note, if you're someone who wants responses daily then we're probably not going to work out, as I'm not going to force myself to post if I have little time or if my muse is just being an asshole. You deserve good posts from me, and that can take a few days. Roleplaying is meant to be fun, I get enough due-dates from uni.

#3) Yeah but do you have a dick though?

Real life gender is irrelevant to me. I will roleplay women just as easily as men, despite being male myself. I've run across some people who will "only roleplay with women/men" and that is an instant no from me, even if it's someone looking for a man. We're not cybering/playing as ourselves, so what we have in our pants does not matter. I don't care if you're a man who roleplays women, vice versa, or even if you function outside of the binary. Our characters are what is important, nothing more. I've had someone drop a roleplay (that included smut) just because I told him I was also a man (even though my character was female). That kinda stuff sucks, not to mention it just feels like the other person is writing with you just for the smut. Which leads me into my next point...

#4) ""Plot"" > Plot

Smut's fun to write, something I'm sure we can all agree on, but that can't be the sole purpose of the roleplay. I don't care how kinky we get, it's going to get dull really fast, and I'm just going to end up dropping the roleplay. I need story to go with the smut, preferably more story than smut. Call me old-fashioned but I like some romance and character interaction building up before our characters have sex. It adds an extra layer of spice to the smut that no kind of kink could ever do. I can be persuaded to start with smut, if that's going to be the catalyst for the rest of the story/roleplay (ie. someone gets knocked up and shit goes downhill from there), but in those kinds of cases there has to be significant story-telling afterwards. If you're just looking for someone to write out your fantasies with, then I'm not the guy for you. (Unless your fantasy involves dragons, or overthrowing a tyrant king, then we can chill.)

At the end of the day I like to think myself lenient when it comes to potential partners/giving people a chance, but these are some of the red-flags for me.

 

[bodman54]

Real life is unpredictable, and I respect it when partners let me know beforehand when they're going away for an extended period of time (I will do the same), but for the love of God don't constantly poke me about when I'm going to respond. I once had a partner who I was having a pretty fun time writing with, but one day I was unable to get online (it was my turn to post in the thread), and when I came back the next day I had a storm of messages from them. The last message I got from them being, "if you didn't want to roleplay with me you should've just told me." A. Day. I was gone for a day. If I see this kind of clingy behaviour I will immediately end things with my partner, no matter how much I enjoy the roleplay we have going. I have noticed a few cues in request threads to tell me if a person is particularly clingy, but it's not foolproof. On a similar note, if you're someone who wants responses daily then we're probably not going to work out, as I'm not going to force myself to post if I have little time or if my muse is just being an asshole. You deserve good posts from me, and that can take a few days. Roleplaying is meant to be fun, I get enough due-dates from uni.

I'm in that boat. I usually give about a week of inactivity. If I check and see that they haven't been on at all since they've last posted I'll give them some more time. And when I do hit them up it is usually with an "Everything ok?" More than once I've gotten a response like, "Yeah, things have gotten crazy. Thanks for being patient." Or. "Shit. I forgot to press send. Thanks for poking me." Both are valid reasons in my book

 

[DevilsDelight]

The biggest thing keeping me from answering certain searches and maybe a message I've been sent is worry I'm not good enough to be honest. I write predominantly on mobile and it does kind of effect the quality of my posts due to limitations in visibility. Mix that in with the fact I'm dyslexic and I worry even more when I see beautiful writing that is published novel quality.

 

[bodman54]

The biggest thing keeping me from answering certain searches and maybe a message I've been sent is worry I'm not good enough to be honest. I write predominantly on mobile and it does kind of effect the quality of my posts due to limitations in visibility. Mix that in with the fact I'm dyslexic and I worry even more when I see beautiful writing that is published novel quality.

My posting certainly aren't novel quality. I'm sure if you approach someone and explain your situation they would be more lenient. As long as I can get the gist of what you're saying I'd be fine. And don't be afraid to ask for clarification.

 

[DragonBornPhoenix]

My biggest thing now is i simply don't have any motivation anymore. I have an illusion it'll be a long lasting rp however im lucky if i get so far as someone responding to after i respond to them saying im interested

 

[Mr Quixotic]

I got another one. Stop me if this sounds familiar.

'Hello yes, I'm very interested in playing opposite a wide variety of different thing. Men of different ethnicities, alien races, fantastical creatures, monster men and the like. Buuuuut I'm only interested in playing a submissive willowy pumpkin spice latte white girl and won't step one solitary nanoangstrom from that comfort zone.'

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MisterKing]

The biggest thing keeping me from answering certain searches and maybe a message I've been sent is worry I'm not good enough to be honest. I write predominantly on mobile and it does kind of effect the quality of my posts due to limitations in visibility. Mix that in with the fact I'm dyslexic and I worry even more when I see beautiful writing that is published novel quality.

Really? I flipped through your request thread on a whim and that intro is crisp and smooth as all hell. If I could find a good pitch that would fit both of us it would be coming soon to an inbox near you.

I totally feel the anxiety bro but damn, you're good.

 

[MisterKing]

For me one of the big sticklers is if the two characters are pretty similar. For someone whose muse is inspired by conflict the way cocaine inspires a rockstar, your pitch of two attractive, middle-class white suburbanites swooning over each other is gonna fall pretty flat.

 

[Crystal-Gem-Pink-Topaz]

There is a few for me! Before I list them, I do want to say I'm not putting anyone down for requesting these things. It's just not my cup-of-tea!

✧ Not including a writing sample. I can vibe with someone OOC perfectly, but their writing doesn't do it for me. I like to have an idea before reaching out so that both our time isn't wasted! Being shy is understandable, however, so this isn't a hard stop.

✧ Personally, and I don't knock anyone for enjoying this type of pairing since it's rare, but the prospect of having to play an older woman to a younger man. As a woman in her early 20's, I can't place myself into that mindset. I'm sure it can be like that for males who see a lot of age play lots that involve them adopting the role of an older man, though!

✧ Romance plots that involve physically or psychologically traumatizing or breaking my character, or even vice-versa!

✧ A great plot that involves a woman that, in real life, would be entirely made of silicone and plastic. A sentient blow-up doll -- if you will.

Many others were already mentioned by the rest of you! I'm glad that there are others who understand.

 

[Deante]

✧ Not including a writing sample. I can vibe with someone OOC perfectly, but their writing doesn't do it for me. I like to have an idea before reaching out so that both our time isn't wasted! Being shy is understandable, however, so this isn't a hard stop.

Honestly I never look at writing samples. I assume that any example someone puts in their req thread is going to be above and beyond anything they ever put down in an RP. Sometimes if I'm uncertain, I'll look up any public RP threads the person has, to get an idea of what they're putting out--but at that point I'm already Concerned.

 

[Crystal-Gem-Pink-Topaz]

Honestly I never look at writing samples. I assume that any example someone puts in their req thread is going to be above and beyond anything they ever put down in an RP. Sometimes if I'm uncertain, I'll look up any public RP threads the person has, to get an idea of what they're putting out--but at that point I'm already Concerned.

I completely understand. That is my next plan of action when I'm unsure. The problem arises when said individual also has no roleplay threads -- Either because they have yet to start a thread or roleplay through PM's/Email/Instant Messengers. I understand if one is not comfortable with putting their writing out there, but it makes for a great guessing game ;; It's a hit or miss at that point. In the worst case scenario someone may end up hurt and both end up disappointed ;;

 

[Violent_Perfection]

I'll read a bit of a request thread and then check out their post length. If I like it I'll read the rest of the request and maybe send a message if I find something of interest.

 

[LadyAthene]

If I see any of the following, there's a good chance I'm gonna stop browsing that thread and look through another. These are just listed in order of which I remember first and so on.

I. If the only option to do RPs is via PMs
- Sorry, but no. I mean it when I say in my own request thread I've tried PM RPs on gods knows how many sites. They always get ignored/forgotten/something like that, so ... it just isn't for me. If an alternative is listed, be it thread or even Discord, that's fine. But no PMs only for me.

II. If the plot ideas sound too smut-heavy and/or bland/boring/whatever adjective you wish to use
- Self-explanatory

III. If the thread insists I have to play a canon for an OC, and the creator of the thread fails to return the gesture
- This is one of those things that I almost always will insist is a gesture that gets returned. Common courtesy and all. Exceptions for this can be made, but they're incredibly rare.

IV. If I'm the wrong gender for a person
- This is typically a thing I find in the female request section, but some insist to write/RP with males only. I don't get this, even though I've seen it work vice versa in the male's section. I don't agree with it, but ... each to their own, I suppose.

V. If a person seems to jump to smut scenes too quickly by looking through their posting history.
- I try to give this one benefit of the doubt, as I admit it can depend on whom they were RPing with. Still, it is something I do keep in mind, at the very least.

VI. If any kinks I'm uncomfortable with are listed on the other person's thread as things they want to incorporate in an RP.
- This is rare, thankfully. Again, each to their own as I'm not at all trying to kink shame anyone, but there's a reason I can't do things like foot fetishes, cheating, scat/watersports, or anything else I put my foot down on.

Should be most, if not all, of the things I watch out for.

 

[mypgems]

I've seen requests that look pretty good. Especially ones where they don't give specific plots but general ones. I like those because we can brainstorm. I don't reply because I have no idea as to what kind of a writer they are. What style, length, composition, etc? They don't have any story posts or writing samples I can look at.

 

[lasciel]

Well, after reading through here I've added some (recent!) samples to my request thread to hopefully offset my preference for email/PMs/other "invisible" formats.

While I dislike the long list of Foo x Bar pairings, I'd like to chime in with the one use they do provide: giving me an idea of what sort of characters someone wants to/is willing to play. Even if they don't have a specific plot, it can be the make/break to see if they're interested in playing a character type that intrigues me. Moreso than a pairing list I guess I'd like to see a "roles list" more often.

But the biggest thing keeping me from clicking that PM button is usually independent from from the RPer whose thread I'm reading. I'm still never quite sure when to give up on someone dropping out of a RP, so, I hesitate in finding a "replacement" and this ends up with a lot of dithering on my part. I'm dreadfully averse to ever having a "duplicate" RP going, and I know I can only support a few simultaneous RPs anyway.

 

[Deante]

I got another one. Stop me if this sounds familiar.

'Hello yes, I'm very interested in playing opposite a wide variety of different thing. Men of different ethnicities, alien races, fantastical creatures, monster men and the like. Buuuuut I'm only interested in playing a submissive willowy pumpkin spice latte white girl and won't step one solitary nanoangstrom from that comfort zone.'

Boy am I running into this a Lot. But in my case they’re not spelling this out, and I only find out after asking.

 

[OctopusPrince]

I've been having this problem a lot since I got back onto the site to look for RPs particularly when it comes to kink, just because there seems to be a TON of incest related threads? As mentioned, not kink bashing, that just holds no appeal to me, and when it's the person's top priority on their thread after they've made their introduction, I immediately decide not to message them. The hard thing is that a lot of the time, these threads have other options available, but I get worried that I'm gonna message them and get that "So what if their brother and sister/mother and son/ father and daughter?" and I'll have to awkwardly navigate turning down that offer. I'd rather avoid talking to someone all together than have a discussion about how the kink they really enjoy really turns me off lol.

 

[enteser]

Oh wow... Well, this has been in interesting read! I really wonder what the vast majority of people on BMR who don't actually make lots of posts and only PM request threads would add. In any case, there's lots of things that turn me away from a request thread, but I have to say I never really mind it. They're simply looking for something I'm not.

1. Expectations for long replies.
I'm sorry, I just don't want to write 3-4 paragraphs per reply. I can't be on here all the time, and when I am, I like to move the RP forward, and make things happen, and I simply can't do that if I'm spending all my time writing one reply. To be fair, I'm probably a much slower writer than most people on here, so there's that. I've also found that, other than introductions to the RP or introductions to new scenes, most situations simply don't warrant 3-4 paragraphs, especially when characters are interacting with each other. If I'm RPing with someone, I find I require their input on what's going on more often than every 4 paragraphs. That being said, I really have no problem with threads that want 3-4 paragraph replies. They're simply looking for a different style of RP than me.

2. Fandoms.
I just don't know/haven't watched most of the fandoms I've seen mentioned, so I simply wouldn't be able to contribute .

3. Super long request threads.
Again, I don't really want to read 2-3 paragraphs of introduction before I get to the part that tells me what they're looking for. On that same note, if there's a specific section in their thread with a list of rules numbered 1-8 or whatever that I'm expected to follow if I want to RP with them, I tend to move on. I have never seen a rule listed on there that wasn't simple common sense for human interaction. Yeah, okay, this is the internet, and said common sense may not be that common, and I acknowledge that as I male, I may have far fewer issues of this type of thing than females on here, but a list still comes off weird to me...

I actually have no issue with other RP mediums! I use Discord with one of my most successful RP partners that I've met on here.