Yusuke couldn't help a giddy little chuckle when he pressed his lips close and found his advance barred by a large smile. Sometimes it was really nice to have things turned around on him. Kurama... or rather Shuichi, as such displays tended to be showered on almost purely by that side of him. So, Shuichi was absolutely adorable; and every time he showed such real aspects of himself it drew yusuke in more and more. It wasn't just that side of him, of course. But that side was one they were discovering together. The light hearted, sometimes silly, and always enticing human before him was a delicious mixture of his old and new selves no matter what though and Yusuke loved that; loved everything about him.
Fingers curled against him and he couldn't bring himself to pull them away in order to pull his enticing human into his grasp. Not when they laced so adamantly with his own. The kiss became deep and there was no stopping himself from delving further and offering a grooming licks to the roof of his mouth as well as that light pressure that sent his boyfriend into a tatter of shivers. Each stroke was placed delicately, placed with purpose. And by the time they finally broke for air he realized he'd lost track of the hands. He'd lifted one, fingers still embraced, and landed it on the redhead's chest. The other had loosened from that tangle to find it's favorite place; that being in full support at the base of his skull with fingers coiled around his neck gently.
He thought to tease, to make a cruel joke at the expense of both of them. But Shuichi still had more to say. And as close as they were he maintained his ability to pay attention. And he leaned just a bit more against the forehead pressed to his own as melted chocolate oozed it's warmth directly into the pretty forest before him. Even when Shuichi had trouble looking at him his own soft stare didn't faulter. He did pull back a little as the confession he was given became fluid. What touched his lips wasn't a frown, but it wasn't a smile. His focus was heavy. And to be perfectly honest he was surprised if not amazed at the openness his partner was exuding as he spoke.
"What's wrong with wanting to hear someone's proud of you?" The question was given afted a good pause that had him looking over Shuichi's features to be sure he was done speaking for the moment. The entire reason he had agreed to this was because he knew how hard it was for his fox to open up. Interrupting him wouldn't be conducive to the environment at all. That silly smile of his crossed his face, only slightly muted for the heavy topic as he regarded the want graciously. "Ya know, before you started telling me that you were proud'a me I never woulda really cared to hear it. I had no clue it could feel as good as it did to hear something like that." Yes, he had realized over time that Kurama's praise drove him immensely. And he enjoyed it so much it melted him in the happiest of ways just to get a little of it. It was stupid, but he didnt care. Although he did understand where Kurama was coming from because of it.
"Okay," he teased warmly. "Listen up cause here goes." With a silly chuckle he sat forward again, grabbing the redhead around the waist and trapping him in a warm embrace. He figured, with the warm feeling bubbling up inside of him, that he was probably about to be as long winded as ever about this. Sometimes he could tell even if he wasn't sure what was going to come out in general. So he pulled this man he adored into a comfortable embrace for them to sit in together so he could coddle and pet, and spread gentle kisses over his face and head, and anything else he felt the need to do as he spoke.
All of that gentle attention was applied as he spoke. "I think I understand this part better now," he offered toward the lesson he'd been given previously. "And I'm sorry ta say so, but you feeling bad makes me feel better." It sounded horrible, but was let off in that airy, teasing way of his with that snarky chuckle attached to it. But he was serious, and he made sure to say it properly as well. "Not cause you are feeling bad. But cause it makes me feel like you need me. And I think being needed is maybe just as good as you bein proud of me." He nodded lightly, pressing one of those kisses to Kurama's temple.
"I gotta say though, I didn't ever think about it the other way. You're really smart, prob'ly way more mature than I'll ever make it to, and well... I mean most of the time it seems like you're on a way higher level than me. I don't feel bad about that or anything. But what it means is I never even thought that you might care if I'm proud of you or not. Hell most of the time I'm so in awe I can't even keep up." Another warm, giddy chuckle left his chest before he looked down on him again with that softness that could melt just about anyone. "Is it bad that it never crossed my mind?... Anyway." He didn't need and answer, thus the quick continuance.
That soft, warm look shined down on him as he continued his long winded speech, collecting all those skills he was often teased about and rolling them together to keep on the topic as best he possibly could. "This is all totally different though. What you 'pulled me into' tonight isn't like anything we've ever had before... yeah. It's way different. I never seen you like this, or like you were when we were doing it. And I am really happy. Cause just like I was hoping when you started telling me about it, it was something new for both of us." There was a note he needed to make here. Something he wanted to assure his boyfriend that he understood. He wasnt willing to let him worry about his naivety in the same sense as that which had pulled them apart previously; what had had Yusuke leaving him so abruptly and horribly.
"Even if you have done this before with someone else. Even if that's why you know so much. Or even if it isnt. It doesn't matter. Cause that's not what I mean. I mean that you 'n me, you'n me," he emphasized. "Did something totally new for both of us that we got to learn and experience together. So even if the act wasn't new, what came out of it was... It's something else... I swear i just had the right word for once so i didnt have to try and probly fail to describe it.." He had the word, he knew he did. He was stumbling only cause he lost it through his need to help Kurama understand that he wasn't foolish enough anymore to be willing to get upset over his past life like he had before. What was that word?
Thankfully it only took him a second to remember it. Barely enough time for a pause and that thoughtful look to bubble over him. But unlike usual that happy 'done good' look didn't cross his face when he found it. What came instead was the fluid flow straight back to his warm expression. Because he hadn't yet 'done good' as far as he saw. "Dynamics," he offered a little awkwardly. He knew the word and definition, and he knew it was the right thing he was looking for. But it wasn't like he'd used it a whole lot before at the same time. "It was a totally different dynamic," he added warmly. Hopefully he was right about that being the proper word.
"So, you can tell me if I'm wrong about this or not, but I wanna explain what I think this is and what I think about it. So here's what I think it is." He was still hugging Shuichi so close. He was petting over him. There hadn't been even a little of that hurt in his voice he'd been sharing earlier. Yusuke had found the positive to this purely thanks to his lover's needs. He loved that about their relationship.
"So like I said, usually it's kinda like you're so high above me I'd have to climb and impossible cliff just to make it half way. Not in any bad way. I love how amazing you are and I love how you try to help me up there little by little... Even if I get annoyed sometimes by it," he chuckled out. He'd gotten snippy on more than one occasion as his partner corrected his speech or mannerisms on certain occasions. It was hard to live up to societal standards, let alone his intelligent boyfriends. But that didn't mean he didnt appreciate it usually.
"But tonight was different. Tonight you came down to my level. Tonight you asked for my help. Help to pull you down and let you sink even lower while still holding on and tugging you back when you went too far. You trusted me to push you over the edge but still be able to pull you back. You wanted me to help you do something you didn't think you could do without me..." when had he nuzzled into red tresses near his temple and started speaking into his ear? Was it cause he hid his face so much when he got too flustered? He could at least tell that the action had been taken so he could go back to roaming his back with gentle petting massages. He wasn't holding him there though. Yusuke had a need to look into Shuichi's face when he was being so awkwardly honest. Most of the time it grounded him... But this wasn't for Yusuke. This was for the foxy human in his arms who was sharing a deep hidden meekness with him.
He huffed a sigh that let him smile happily through a tear or two that had stained his face all over again. This was nothing like before. It didn't come with pain. Although he did need to sniff away a running nose suddenly. "Tonight you were willing to show me a side of you I don't think you'd be willing to show anyone else in the world. So you gotta have an idea..."
He pulled back just a bit, and attempt to shine that soft look down on him again if his boyfriend wanted to experience it. But again he couldn't force it. This wasn't for Yusuke. "But like I said. There ain't nothin wrong with wanting, or even needing to hear it. What you pulled me into tonight might have weirdo side effects but I'm pretty sure we've figured out were both just screwed up enough to be able to handle weird." He snickered again. "Besides. What you pulled me into tonight mighta hurt in some ways, but in every other way it was some of the best feelings I ever had. So If you wanna know if I'm happy, of course I am. I couldn't be happier." With a teasing debate he added through another giddy chuckle, "Well maybe, but I doubt it."
Like before he calmed down just as quickly. "If you wanna know if I'm proud of you... Ya know I thought it's be harder to answer than it is cause I never thought you needed me to be. With you bein so crazy amazing I just kinda figured it was a given. Who the Hell am I that it matters?... And I feel pretty stupid for thinking that too. Cause you already told me before didnt you?" He pressed his face close and nuzzled against wherever he was allowed, though aiming to touch noses in a learned display that now offered him just as much comfort as it did his animalistic boyfriend.
"You said that it really did matter what I thought of you. I mighta forgot cause it was a long time ago... or I might notta totally believed you cause no one had ever really said something like that and really meant it, ya know? So first thing is I wanna say sorry. For doubting you, and for not listening, and for being such a big dumbass." This time he didnt chuckle but he did smile a bit wider. "And after that I wanna say that honestly I think I'm always proud if you. I think that's what all that crap I just spewed was supposed to mean anyway. It's just hard to tell usually cause I'm always so busy watching you shine."
Sitting up a bit straighter to pull them apart just a little, he wanted to be seen as he finished up a speech so long winded he was growing insanely uncomfortable and embarrased; but still couldnt seem to stop himself. Rough fingers and palm massaged Shuichi's scalp and pulled away gently to run through the length of his hair. He was careful as ever with this, but continued the action as he huffed a sigh that spoke his embarrassment but went on to give his love what it was he needed. "As for right now? I can tell. I can tell that everything you showed me tonight wasn't just for you. I think a big part of it was for me even if you dont think so. And I know all of it ended up being for us. So whether these crappy side effects suck or not doesn't matter. That ain't what should be important at all." Yes, they shouldn't ignore them but, "It's got nothing to do with how happy I am that were sharing like this. Were getting even closer to each other even though we're all screwed up in how we do it." That chuckle came again.
"I'm okay with that. Never did have a problem with it." A kiss was placed on his temple before he pulled back again to look him in the eye. "And right now I'm so freakin proud I could burst. It mighta taken you saying something for me to realize what it was, but its been there anyway...." Okay. That was enough. That had to be enough or he'd never fucking shut up! He needed to stop himself.
"Shuichi," he forced himself to conclude. "I'm proud of you. And I'm really, really happy. And you're such a good boy in so many ways it ain't even fair."