Find Me (Styxx & randomname98766789)

It seemed like no one was getting a break ever - but Elliot wasn't going to argue. After all, she was the reason that they were on the run right now. The thought of running to another group of people who had suffered at that man's hands was a dread to her but did they have any other options? Even if Negan left now, that didn't change that he would be coming back. It would be a constant game of back and forth that would ultimately end with her being found and Alexandria losing once again. To put herself in front of new faces once again would come as a risk, however. While Tara knew them she was not one of them, and Ellie could not expect to rely on Tara's word to be enough to keep her safe if they found out about her history.

"Okay," she agreed, however hesitantly, though her movement didn't falter. She kept pace close to Tara, never venturing too close but also never falling behind more than a few inches. Maybe this was a good call - she didn't need to tell anyone about her history and how she had ended up where she was. Besides, Tara spoke in the past tense. Maybe these women knew how to escape from the hands of the fiend. "Okay, yeah. Maybe they'll be able to help. Lead the way."
 
The expectation of being well-received upon her return to the Oceanside community was delusional. So, Tara felt it was he duty to inform Elliot of the shit-storm they might venture into.

“At least, I don’t think Negan knows about these women. He had their husbands and sons and daughters killed. They escaped, somehow. They live in secret. I tried to recruit them to fight for us a long time ago, but they refused. And… they tried to kill me. So, I wouldn’t expect to be welcomed in with open arms. I think I can convince them to let us stay. If not, we’ll have to figure something else out. They usually shoot first and ask questions later so be careful when I tell you we’re close.”

This was likely not what Ellie anticipated to hear. These women were hostile, and with good reason. Yet, Tara hoped her friendships formulated with a couple of these women could allow some sanctuary for herself and Elliot. It was likely it could have been a death trap, but any death by these women would be swifter and kinder than at the hands of Negan. Still, Tara thought she could convince them to fight. They were merely bystanders watching the murderous man destroy lives. After hearing of Denise’s demise, it made Tara resent this community even more for not taking action. Not taking action was nearly as bad as being by Negan’s side.
 
Oh. Thinking that Negan was unaware of the group of women was not the same as knowing - but even the chance that where they were heading was safe was better than no chance. Besides, Negan was currently caught up in Alexandria. They would have to be on guard but Ellie had been on guard for weeks now, ever since she had escaped from the Sanctuary. Watching her back would come as nothing new - and neither would having to run if all went poorly. Hopefully Tara would actually be able to talk then in to at least allowing them to stay for a short while, if not genuinely convince them to help bring down Negan. While she understood what it felt like to be content with inaction, to put your own comfort above the risks you should take for the well-being of others... Well, if she hadn't realized that guilt fell on those who didn't act at all, she wouldn't have left and she definitely wouldn't have offered to help the Alexandrians take Negan down.

Elliot wasn't done trying to have hope, though. The little bit of hope left in her had been what made her walk away when she could, and what was now urging her forwards. Maybe this wouldn't be some utopia waiting to welcome them with open arms but they were something. People were resources - she hated even thinking that because she knew that was how Negan thought but that was just a fact. Nowadays people kept the world moving and if you wanted to have any power, you needed them on your side.

"Yeah, that's..." The blonde attempted to formulate a good response but fell short, and instead she let out a soft sigh as they ventured forward. "We can deal with that when we get there. One step at a time, right?"
 
“Right. One step at a time.” Tara responded, almost like she was convincing herself as well. It was not an ideal situation. Tara wished for a more friendly place to go, but where? Negan had a chokehold on the other two communities they allied with. The Oceanside community might have tried to kill her, but they were nothing to Negan. The evil man did not know they existed. What better place to regroup and hide Elliot? During their time, perhaps Tara could even convince these women to rise up. One step, Tara – she reminded herself. Thinking far ahead was almost impossible to stop given the nature of their situation.

“This community is important, either way. We need numbers and we need guns. These women have both and a reason to hate Negan. We should be prepared, though. If they turn us away, we’ll run like I did last time. Since we can’t return to Alexandria yet, we’ll figure something else out. You should know what you’re getting into here.” To the best of Tara’s knowledge, she had covered pertinent information for her new friend. Even though Tara had one objective in mind, she felt a need to keep Elliot safe as well. Their days of knowing each other had been rocky at best.

Yet, there was a sparkling connection between them. Although she would not lose sight of her original goal, ensuring the woman’s safety was a key reason why she was here in the first place. Tara had no reason to evade Negan like this. Tara could have turned Elliot over like Eugene suggested and suffer no consequence from him. So, for better or for worse, here they were. After spending all day in the woods, the sun was finally setting. It was not a single day trip. “We should look for somewhere to set up camp for the night. We’re not that far from a town. We could set up there.”
 
For Elliot, there was an appreciation in knowing she had someone on her side. Part of her had figured she would have ended up, figuratively, thrown to the wolves when those at Alexandria discovered where she had come from. Without this girl, that would have happened. Tara had every reason to hate her but she didn't and that amount of strength was something that the blonde could appreciate. At this point, she really wanted to do all she could to make things better because she believed that she owed not just Tara but Alexandria and this other group of women and everyone who had been tainted. Right now she wasn't sure how exactly but she would eventually.

As the sun set over the horizon, blurred and dappled through leaves and a matrix of tree trunks, Elliot knew that Tara had a point. They needed to find somewhere to rest for the night, though hopefully the next day they would make it to their destination. It wouldn't be easy to secure anywhere, but she didn't sleep much anyways so they could take watch shifts or something... Not quite sure. Then Tara mentioned a town - that would be even better, provided the population of the dead was low.

"Yeah definitely," the young woman replied as they slowed, preparing to head towards town. Because Ellie didn't know the area, she was relying on Tara's sense of direction. Maybe they could find a little place to hole up in - something to eat maybe. While she wasn't going to turn this in to a looting trip, the girls only had their bags and shouldn't get weighed down, she wanted to try and be useful. "Yeah, let's do that. Lead the way."
 
The excursion lasted nearly one full week. When Elliot and Tara reached Oceanside, they were met with hostility. The women remembered Tara, but the woman did not back down. Again, she tried to reason with these ladies, to tell them about a need for weapons, ammunition, and fighters. Unfortunately, no ground was gained. In fact, they were going to execute both Ellie and Tara because they feared Negan would follow them and find out about this place. Plus, Tara was forced to swear that she would never tell anyone about this community, yet, she did. Thankfully, with the help of a couple other women privy to the cause, the two captives escaped in the night.

The trip proved rather fruitless. It took another week to return to Alexandria from Oceanside. Of course, Negan had come and went already. Upon their arrival, Tara met with Rick and convinced him to let Ellie listen as well. She informed the leader about the community and all the guns they had. It was apparent that Negan had taken all their weapons in his visit, so they needed as many as possible. It was also determined that he would return at a relatively frequent pace for more supplies each week.

In fact, he was due again in a couple days. It posed a problem: Ellie. Rick had been convinced to not kick her out or turn her over to Negan (But he was not so sure about the others). Therefore, Rick expressed a need for supplies weekly. They worked out a map of an area the two women could check out on a supply run for a few days to avoid Negan. It sounded like the best option.
 
It was hard to believe that nearly two weeks had come and gone. The trip to the oceanside group was for naught, the women would have killed the pair if given the chance. Luckily, they were able to get out before any harm came to them. Then, the had to trek back - both had been hoping to be able to say there was someone on their side, though they had also both understood that the chances of that happening were slim. Either way, once they returned they were posed with the same problem that had made them leave before: Elliot being found there would not be good.

When Rick said that they needed supplies on a weekly basis, Ellie's first instinct was to take that task upon herself, though she didn't agree to do so without finding out if that would be okay with Tara. The two had grown rather close during the last couple weeks; while Elliot had grown to learn about Alexandria, its history, and the past of the wonderful woman herself, she had talked as well: of the beginnings, of Brandon, of before everything had gone bad. Her time at the Sanctuary was a rough topic but she had talked about that too, explaining that she had simply been saving her brother, how the male had helped her escape, and how she would do anything to be able to find the last bit of family she had in the world.

"We've been out for a while, let's stay here tonight and head out tomorrow. How does that sound?" Since there was little else to do with the day, the girls had started to pack what they would need in to a truck, and Ellie leaned against the hood after putting the map in the glove compartment. After planning a course, Ellie was glad to know the option they were going to take, However, she did really miss having a pillow under her head - after being on the run for two weeks she had only had one night in a proper bed before she went on the run for another two weeks. Since Negan was not expected the nxt day, she figured it would be safe to spend the night in Alexandria.
 
“You’re right. Let’s head inside.” Offering Elliot a smile, Tara walked the woman into the house. It dawned on her that this was the first time that she would be staying overnight in the community. The housing directions involved many people to one house because of multiple bedrooms. This house was one she shared with Denise in a bedroom upstairs along with a few others from the group. She was not about to tell Ellie to sleep on a couch or something else ridiculous. “Now that I think about it, when you first got here, we left so soon that you didn’t get to see this place or my room. Like I said, all the houses look the same but Denise and I… we tried to make our room a little bit sweeter.” Offering a sad smile at the memory, Tara quickly pushed it away. She was certain that Denise would want her to be happy and not feel alone. One thing that Tara always hated: sleeping alone. She had avoided that for a while on the run with the other woman. Though they had not exactly had a major cuddling session, Tara felt like they were close. They had spent literally every second together those past couple weeks and Tara felt a need for her like nothing else, to have her in her arms.

Although some might think she was moving too quickly, Tara did not. All she knew was how she felt and that involved being close to Elliot. She hoped that Elliot would feel the same way. She would likely find out soon. Entering the bedroom upstairs, Tara closed the door behind them and kicked off her combat boots. Smiling, she gestured to the bed. “Go on. Make yourself comfortable. It’s easily beg enough for two. Besides, we’ve been on the run for a long time and we haven’t had a nice bed available.”

There was a bit of decoration all around Denise had more of the traditionally girly things while Tara had some badass movie posters and other things stuck on the wall. It balanced out well.
 
El was a touchy sleeper - that much at least Tara had already found out. While she hadn't outright sleep-cuddled or spooned the other woman, there had definitely been more than one morning where Tara had awoken to Ellie's hand on her belly, shoulder or even on her chest. Obviously El hadn't been purposely making a move or anything, but that had been interesting to wake up to. Also since they had grown closer over the last couple weeks, El was becoming increasingly more comfortable with Tara and the brunette was starting to see her soft side. With that added comfort, El was just naturally touchy most of the time. More often than not she ended up apologizing, but in reality she just wanted more.

When was the last time she had actually felt another person's touch and not hated it? Months, probably - since before she had found Alexandria, lost Brandon or even found the Sanctuary. She had a girlfriend once upon a time but that was long in the past now and Elliot had never had the heart to replace her. For the first time since Hannah's death, being around another person felt light so El felt no hesitation as she walked in to Tara's room and looked around. One thing the pair had discussed on the trip was exes - how Tara had just lost hers, which is what they had arrived to back on that first day in Alexandria, and how Ellie was pretty scared to even think of finding something new after her torment at Negan's hands. To add another level of dusgusting to that, Elliot had made it very clear that she was gay and that was a whole new level to why she didn't want to be with that man.

However, with that knowledge out in the open things actually felt easier between them. There was no wondering about accidentally freaking the other out with stray touches and remarks that could easily be platonic but straight girls liked to interpret as meaning they were in to them (though... maybe she was in to Tara just a little). Either way Elliot fell in to the bed with much comfort, pulling her knees up towards her chest to pull her socks off and then putting them behind her head after she had put those to the side. She let out an exaggerated, almost moany sigh as she closed her eyes. "Damn, I forgot just how nice it felt to have a real bed to sleep on."
 
It had been a long time since Tara slept well. Recently, it was difficult to sleep thinking about Denise’s death, not being able to say goodbye, and knowing that she could never see the woman again. Before that, she was on a supply run that went awry, taking her weeks to return. It meant sleeping without the woman she cared deeply for by her side. It was difficult to sleep without her. Yet, after talking with Elliot for a bit, she fell asleep quickly and slept better than she had in a long time. It was almost magical. Hell, it was magic.

Tara had notoriously struggled to sleep when she felt stressed or worries (which basically applied to every damn day since the world ended), so it was surprising, but comforting to sleep so well. The next couple days only improved the friendship between herself and Elliot. Although everyone knew about her connection to Negan and many feared the man’s reaction if she was found hiding in Alexandria, more residents each day opened up, welcoming her into the family. Progress was being made, but just to be safe, Tara kept Elliot close. It was not that she did not trust the Alexandrian people or her own group of people. She did, but there was no telling what one would do when faced with a situation like this.

So many of their own had been killed by one man either directly or through orders. So, if they thought turning Elliot over would help, then someone might, but she did not think they would have the problem. So far, so good. Rick approached one day and reminded Tara of Negan’s arrival tomorrow. He helped the two girls structure a plan for a supply run. They had put each few miles in a grid on a map around the community. During each run, they went a little further each time. He marked the next location they needed to seek out and the estimated time they should spend.

The women prepared to leave, taking the few knives they had since negan already stole their guns. They would have to find a way to survive and maybe secure a couple guns to keep themselves safer on the run. Finally, they returned outside the wall and headed out on foot. If they would have taken a vehicle, then Negan would have obviously known something was going on if everyone was accounted for but not all vehicles were. They walked the entire day, finally reaching the particular grid by nightfall, now looking for some house to stay the first night in.
 
Leaving the walls was the best call - there was no denying that, and all Ellie could do was be grateful that Rick and the others were working with her to keep her safe. In reality, turning her over would probably be a good bet. It seemed she had run in to some people who actually had compassion this time, and Tara was at the fore front of that. The good in that woman was amazing - throughout all the loss and hardship, it appeared that Tara had never lost her light and Elliot had a deep appreciation for anyone who didn't let this world phase them. She sure as hell had. By the time she even came across the Sanctuary she had already been pulled apart a dozen times only to have to put herself back together again, each time a little more chipped.

The girls didn't venture from each other's side as they travelled, sticking close as they moved from house to house. As expected, everywhere was pretty much looted dry but with the sun starting to set they were no longer looking for things to bring home with them. Instead, they needed to find somewhere to stay for the night. The less they had to rely on flashlights the better, as batteries were getting scarce nowadays. Eventually, they came across a quiet looking gated neighborhood with no signs of the dead inside. In fact, it looked nearly untouched and that unnerved Ellie a bit. Regardless, she hopped the metal barred fence with ease and from the other side pulled the now defunct gates open.

"Maybe we might find something nice here," she remarked as she stepped backwards slowly, waiting for Tara to follow after her.
 
Following Elliot, Tara expressed her agreement. “I think you’re right. Let’s just find somewhere we can stay tonight. Tomorrow, first thing when the sun rises, we can loot through the neighborhood and see if there’s anything useful.” It did look mostly untouched, but Tara could sense that the neighborhood was void of life. She heard distant groaning, meaning she and her new friend were not completely alone, but they were mostly alone. So, they eventually reached one of the closest houses and Tara decided to take the lead on it.

She managed to open the door without busting it down, having a hair pin to help herself pick the lock. It was important because the lock could still function and help them out. She hated having to kick down doors because it negated the use of the lock after it was broken. Once they reached inside, Tara decided she would sweep the upper level and Elliot could sweep the lower level. She immediately headed upstairs and found out after about five minutes that there were no walkers here. Hell, there was not much of anything here at all. No supplies. Just empty rooms with the furniture still remaining.


After this, she decided to return downstairs and find Elliot. Strangely enough, this place really only had one bedroom. So it looked like they were going to share a bed again, but that was something Tara thought she could get used to. For now, she just waited by the steps so she did not startle Elliot, waiting for the other woman to finish searching throughout the lower level of the house.
 
It was disappointing to find out that despite the serene, nearly untouched appearance of the house it was still looted bare. What that surprising however? Not at all. El was slow, careful and methodical as she pushed throw the lower level. As much as she tried to focus on her own job, securing the ground floor, she couldn't help but keep an ear out for noise from the upper level. Because of that it came as no surprise to her when she caught sight of Tara waiting patiently at the base of the stairs.

"All clear?" El checked as she pocketed her knife, signifying that her search had came out clean as well. It was eerie, how vacant everything seemed - looted bare, gates still closed, none of the dead shambling about (though there definitely were some somewhere - she could hear the familiar low groans)... It was almost like someone had left the place like this, though that was a thought that the blonde tried not to entertain. It seemed safe and she had closed the gates back up behind them so for the most part there was a minimal risk to being here. That was what mattered. In the morning they could check out the other houses and keep moving forward.

"There's nothing down here, but I think there might be one next door. Wanna check it out just in case or leave it for the morning?" Ellie asked as she leaned back against the wooden wall.
 
“I suggest we don’t move anywhere tonight. Let’s hunker down and get some rest.” Tara responded while feeling alert and vigilant. Just because the home appeared abandoned did not mean the two women would not encounter problems. “There’s a bedroom upstairs we can share. It doesn’t have blankets, but there’s a mattress. I’m happy with it. It’ll be good for us to rest tonight. I’ll meet you upstairs in a moment. Before I leave, I’m going to barricade the door.” Sure, a lock might still function, but Tara wanted extra precautionary efforts. Therefore, she mustered her strength and slid a large dresser in front of the front door.

Even if someone managed to pick the lock or kick down the front door, a heavy piece of furniture would block the path inside. It would not stop anyone, but it could give a few seconds for Tara and Elliot to react. Who knew? Those extra seconds could save their lives. After barricading the door, Tara accelerated her pace upstairs and advanced into the bedroom. Closing the door behind her, Tara dropped bags and equipment beside the door in case they were needed. Once her boots were kicked away, the female walked towards the bed and plopped down, releasing an exasperated sigh.

“Oh… shit… this feels so good.” It was almost like a moan. It was not often they had these opportunities. Tara enjoyed whenever she did not have to sleep on the ground or the floor. The mattress welcomed her body immediately. Since she was sharing with Elliot, Tara ensured a large portion of the bed remained open, practically inviting the other woman to join her.
 
"Any bed's better than no bed," Ellie remarked before she helped Tara with barricading entrances. The couldn't exactly board up windows but the door had a working lock and, in case that wasn't enough, she helped the brunette push the dresser in front. The blonde paid no mind to the concept of sharing a bed with Tara - that was nothing new. The pair never really talked about it or the way they always ended up cuddling a bit but there was a comfort to it. Both were dealing with a fresh loneliness and if that quelled it, if that could make them feel a little bit better in the process, then what was the harm in it?

Elliot paced the stairs just behind Tara, and closed the door to the lone bedroom once she was inside. There were no covers but even just having a mattress was better than nothing. She dropped her bag beside Tara's and took a sip from her water bottle before kicking her shoes off and, since Tara was between her and the free side of the bed, climbed right over the brunette like it was something that they had done time and time again. She may have had a large portion of the bed to work with but she stuck close, rolling on to her side so that she was facing Tara. For a second she stayed there just watching with her arm used to prop her head up.

"Thank you- a lot. It means more than you could imagine, having someone stick by me. If anyone deserves to hate me it's you but done nothing but be there for me." She was hardly louder than a whisper, oozing sincerity from her tone and as she finished speaking she offered Tara a sweet smile. Without really thinking things through she first let her arm relax so that her head hit the bed, and then extender her upper arm out to grab the brunette's hand.
 
Perhaps it should not have been read into so deeply, but Tara could not help herself. The blonde crawled over her body, barely grazing legs. It sent a shuddering sensation down her core, her eyes closing for a moment. Their touch was nonexistent, barely scattering over each other’s clothes. Yet, it was electric. When the other woman settled into the bed, Tara felt how close they became. It was expected. The first few times sharing a bed with Elliot might have felt slightly awkward for Tara. It was no fault of Ellie’s, though. It was the simple fact that she had lost Denise and it felt odd, wrong to be sleeping in a bed with someone else already. After time passed, it felt less intrusive and more comforting. In fact, Tara dared to think that she would be unable to sleep properly unless Ellie was by her side.

Listening to the blonde talk caught Tara’s attention. She turned her head towards the sweet voice and locked eyes with her. Again, she could do nothing but offer a sweet smile. “I could never hate you, Ellie. I’d like to thank you as well. You’ve become a close friend. I can’t imagine being without you now. We make one kickass team together. I don’t feel alone anymore, with you. I feel like there’s still a reason to keep fighting in this world. For a while, I wasn’t sure how I’d convince myself to keep moving each day, but you helped me find that reason.”

Tara’s reaction when their hands collided was nothing short of happy. She even interlaced their fingers together, squeezing their palms taut as well. Their eyes remained locked and she decided to wrap her other arm around her neck and give her a hug. Okay, maybe it was an awkward hug since they were both lying on their sides in a bed, but it was a hug nonetheless. “You know… I wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with you all the time, even when we get back to Alexandria.” Tara blurted softly, hoping that it was not a mistake in expressing those desires.
 
"I'd like that," she said sweetly as her fingers mixed with Tara's, gently playing with the brunette's. It was a tender, affectionate touch but more than that it just felt natural. Over the last couple weeks the pair had grown close and while they usually didn't say anything about it, it was clear that both were comfortable in the gentle touches and embraces. Spending so much time alone together had made for amply bonding time and El trusted this woman more than she had anyone in a long time.

"Honestly, I'm not sure that I could sleep without you there at this point," she said in barely more than a whisper, laughing quietly at her admission. Was that clingy? Inappropriate? She really hoped not, because it was the truth. How long had it been since she had last felt a gentle touch? How long had it been since someone had looked at her with affection in their eyes, soft and heart fluttering. Ellie shuffled in closer towards Tara, so close that their noses almost touched. "Is that bad? It just feels so good to be close to someone, to know I'm not gonna be hurt if I let my guard down a little. I can't remember the last time I was able to just be... comfortable."
 
“All I can say is, if that’s bad, then I’m bad, too.” Closing the distance until the tip of their noses brushed, Tara continued. “I know exactly what you mean. I love my group back in Alexandria. They’re my family, but family doesn’t take up every place in a person’s heart, you know? There’s something else that nobody in that community can satisfy for me.” This was an admission of feelings, but honestly, Tara sucked at these things. She always had. In any past relationship, she always failed at trying to admit her feelings first, she just didn’t know how to say things without feeling awkward.

“Maybe we never have to worry about sleeping without each other. I don’t want to have that worry. I just want… you. Elliot, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I could have been anywhere in the world on the day we met, but I was in that store and we found each other. I don’t think that was an accident.” Maybe there was a higher power, maybe it was fate, maybe it was luck, whatever. Tara did not believe it was a coincidence they met that day and grew this close. “We’ve come so far since then… I don’t want to ever stop.”
 
Ellie's heart raced, pulse hard in her throat as she listened to Tara speak. As crazy as it was, that was exactly what she wanted to hear. The weird part? She felt bad for wanting the beautiful brunette in bed with her to want to keep her this close. How was she supposed to move past that? Forget that she was secondhand involved that something that had hurt this girl? At the same time it felt like nothing could ever come between them and in Tara she had found someone that she could rely on, which was something that she was sure she would never find again.

For a moment something flashes in her eyes - hesitancy, curiosity, a little bit of fear. Then, quicker than she could realize what she was doing, El moved in towards Tara and kissed her softly. Her breath caught in her throat as their lips met and for a moment she couldn't pull back, it would be a crime to leave that girl behind. She did though, and then the worry hit. That smile turned in to a frown and her brow furrowed. "I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, you just lost Denise and... I shouldn't have done that."
 
The kiss caught Tara by surprise. Her brown orbs closed gently when their lips touched. It felt like electricity coursed through her entire body even though they had only kissed for a few seconds. When she apologized, Tara thought about how she could respond. Locking their eyes together, Tara offered Elliot a soft smile. Placing a gentle hand onto the side of her face before shaking her head. “No, Elliot. Do not apologize for anything you did. I know that I’m not long removed from losing someone, but I need this. I need you. Denise… she would want me to be happy. She would want me to find someone that I care about.”

Tara told the woman this before returning to the same action that Elliot had just tried. Their lips touched again, but more forceful. “I’m not sorry.” She whispered quietly, tilting her head towards the side. Her second hand placed against the other side of her face, tangling their legs together. “You are so beautiful.” She breathed out softly, keeping their eyes locked together. “I want you so badly. I’m willing to give myself to you, fully, if you are for me.” She purred quietly, nuzzling their noses together sweetly after the kiss, hoping they would take the next step.
 
Part of her felt like she was taking advantage of someone grieving; another part of her, the part that won out, knew that she was undeniably falling to the woman with her. Over the last few weeks she hadn't just made a friend and found someone to trust, she had grown to care for Tara in a much stronger way. Not only did she worry about pushing boundaries, she was worried for herself and the trouble that could come in trusting someone. To love was to give someone your heart, and trust that they wouldn't walk away with it or toss it on the ground. While she wouldn't call what she felt love, not just yet, El knew that was the path that she was on and now that Tara had admitted to feeling the same way, turning back was no longer an option.

Ellie was lost in the other girl for a moment - nose to nose, just looking at Tara with wide eyes and a body-wide feeling of nervousness. Just like it was too late to turn back, however, it was too late for her not to kiss Tara again and as their legs tangled together on the bed, Ellie's hand found the brunette's cheek and she leaned back in. She kissed her rougher this time, needier - there was a passion that the last kiss she had initiated lacked and much less hesitancy. Hopefully, the tender but passionate touch would say all that it needed to.
 
Although the mannerism of the kiss spoke volumes, Tara preferred declaring clear, specific boundaries. With Elliot, she hoped to have none. However, she was open to suggestions and she made it clear what she wanted. After the tender kiss ended, Tara realized how swollen her lips were and how puffy her cheeks had become. Damn, that was a good kiss. Honestly, the female hated breaking it for even a second, but it was important that she talk to Elliot, to talk about how she felt. This was an important thing for Tara, so she hoped that was something Elliot would not mind. It was putting each other on the spot and it might have been awkward, but she could not help herself.

“Elliot…” She began. “I don’t do this – something that would be one night. If we go further, I want you to know that… I want you. I want you to be mine, not just tonight, but every night… and not just for sex. Even if you only want tonight and nothing else, I still want this, too. I need you somehow, even if I don’t get everything I want.” There. Painless, right? Tara hoped she hadn’t ruined the moment, but she hoped that Elliot and herself could establish a relationship. That was her hopes and she was not all about relying on awkward and ambiguous actions to tell that to her partner. Tara had to at least express herself, even if it ended up pushing El away. Hopefully, it did not.
 
Elliot did like working with subtleties rather than rushing in to titles and relationships and all of that - but that had also been during a world where there she could do that. Go to the movies, get dinner, grab drinks. In a way what she had once seen as the "dating" period, getting to know someone before agreeing to commit to them, had already happened between her and Tara. They had been virtually inseparable for the last couple weeks and she didn't need any more time to know that this was definitely something that she wanted to keep and hold on to.

"Do you really think that I would only want one night with you?" She asked and raised an eyebrow. She leaned in once again and took one more tender kiss from the brunette. Tara was worrying for nothing - though Ellie worried what the future might bring, she still wanted to face whatever came with Tara at her side. "Because I don't. Maybe it's a little quick to know that I want to be with you, but finding someone who truly cares about you is so hard these days and I could never risk throwing that away. Not when that person's you."
 
Chuckling softly, Tara was hit with a wave of relief. Of course, looking back at things, it was odd that she ever thought it was a possibility that Elliot would only want her for one night. The answer seemed so obvious right now. “I don’t know what I thought. I guess, I was mostly just worried that I didn’t deserve someone as special as you. I was afraid that I’d never get the chance with you.” Tara admitted, throwing her fears out in the open. It took so much for Tara to do that, but it spoke volumes about how committed and trusting she was with the woman here in bed with her.

Their newest kiss ended and she was thinking about what Elliot said. “I know what you mean. This would be a fast pace for a relationship. I know just about everyone would say that I moved on too quickly, but look around us in this world, is anything normal anymore? I don’t want to reserve myself to what used to be the norms or whatever people want to call it. I know what I feel and I don’t care how quickly we move. The only thing I know for sure is that I want… you.” After telling her this, Tara, pulled her in for another tight hug against her chest.
 
A serene smile lit up the blonde's face as Tara spoke, and though her heart raced fast in her chest it felt like a weight had been lifted from her. When the brunette pulled her in for another hug, Elliot didn't resist at all. She wrapped her arm tight around Tara until their bodies were pressed close together.

"Well you can have me," she said as she softly caressed the brunette's side. She meant what she said even though she didn't understand what she had done to deserve this. Even with Tara's tight, affectionate hold on her happiness still felt foreign. She couldn't fight it though, and fighting it was the last thing that she wanted to do. All she could do now was pray that the life that she had lived before Alexandria wouldn't come back to haunt the girl that she was falling for.
 
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