Find Me (Styxx & randomname98766789)

[Styxx]

Elliot Harrison wasn't quite sure where she had gone wrong. Maybe it was because they'd spent one night too long in that beat down hotel, maybe it was because she'd forgotten how to use her brain for a second and shot a walker that caught up to her instead of getting her knife out and danger had already been lurking around the corner. Maybe none of it mattered at all because somehow, she was going to end up exactly where she was.

Her olive green tank was stained in patches of brown, dirt and dust accumulating where mud hadn't already and she imagined she hadn't quite got all the walker blood off of her face either. Didn't even know She didn't have it in her to care at the moment, though - all she needed was to keep her legs moving. Each step brought her farther and farther away from where she had last seen Brandon, her older brother, but that had also been the last place she had seen them, and there was no way she was going back. Brandon would find her... He would.

If he was still alive.

-------------​

He didn't find her. She didn't find him. Instead she found herself holed up in the back of a general store, tin of tuna in hand that she picked at with her fingers as her heavy eyelids begged to close. It had been two days since she had split from the savior's compound and then, when they found her, from Brandon and she'd been alone ever since. All she had was the knife on her belt, the clothes on her back and a tattered backpack she'd found on the side of the road that she'd thrown a water bottle and a half-used pack of matches in to. She'd cleaned up a bit, switched in to a black tank that she wore under a blue plaid button down, and while her dirty blonde hair was still pulled in to a loose ponytail she'd detangled the mess it had become.

Now she wasn't sure where exactly to go from here, though - to go back, while it gave her the chance to reunite with her partner, came with the risk of being caught. Elliot wasn't, and would never, return to the Savior's compound, which made that option non-viable. What else was there to do, though?

So... She sat there, fallen in a heap against the side of a counter, her head resting against a long-dead radiator. She picked at a meat she'd never even really liked because somehow this was what she was destined to do. She would sleep, maybe. Sleep and then hope that maybe the saviors had given up on her and that her brother wasn't too far away. The place was secure enough, at least the back room. The stairs probably lead to a little apartment unit, or at least somewhere she could get through a window to hop on to the low angled roof at the front of the store if the dead ones managed to break in.

Ding-ding!

Just as she tossed the can and it clattered to the ground across the room, Ellie was jolted to attention by a small ringing from the store front. Swallowing, she grasped her knife in her left hand and used her right to push herself to her feet. As footsteps echoed from the other side of the door she hid behind it, breathing deeply as she waited to see if this was going to be it for her. They couldn't have found her yet... right? But the chances of this being random... given her luck? Slim to none.

 

[randomname98766789]

Surviving during the apocalypse meant defying death every single day. Specifically, Tara Chambler had defied death multiple times in the recent days and hours of her life. Unconscious and lying on a beach was an undesirable situation even before the outbreak. After the outbreak, though? That was a death sentence. If not walkers, then humans would surely finish the brunette off. A woman named Cyndie ensured that Tara survived. She stumbled upon a village of women but they were not friendly. After multiple attempts to kill Tara, she survived with Cyndie’s help after swearing to never expose the Oceanside village. With food and water for a few days, Tara started towards the community of Alexandria on foot. Heath must have been dead or missing and it bothered the young woman. Still, she had to keep moving forward. She looked forward to seeing Denise whenever she returned. Maybe Heath was already there and Denise was ready to comfort Tara upon her arrival. Oh boy. Tara was in for a frightening surprise. First, Tara actually needed to make it back home. That was becoming a difficult task in itself but the thought of Denise and all of her friends kept her strong.

She camped out in a gift shop, eating the food and consuming the last bit of water that Cyndie had given her. Despite being intelligent and quiet, bullets were used. Tara’s Smith & Wesson Model 17 was empty and tucked away in the back of her jeans, underneath the back of her shirt. The only functioning weapon Tara held other than her hunting knife was a Remington Model 870 confiscated from Oceanside. Even then, only six shells were remaining. Low ammunition, low food, low water, and low energy were nothing new for Tara. Strong and determined, Tara disallowed her will to become broken. The front of the store was clear but she needed to check the back. It was close quarters and if any walkers were inside, she wanted to take them out quietly and swiftly. The shotgun was placed down into a corner of the store with the small backpack she carried. The woman slowly approached the door behind the counter and cash register. Slowly, the brunette pushed open the door and looked inside, shining a flashlight. Everything was clear so far and she had not heard anything yet. That was a wonderful sign. Tara could use a break.

However, her luck was changing. At the end of a corridor, she pushed open a small storage room. It was the deepest, furthermost room from the entrance. After pushing the door open, Tara gasped when she saw another woman. She was beautiful and despite the grime and dirt in her hair, the blonde locks were shining brightly. Tara backed away from the entrance until her back pressed against the wall. This other woman looked worse than Tara did. She must have been in bad shape. Everyone was, but something about this woman looked specifically damaged. “Hey there… my name is Tara. I’m not going to hurt you. You just surprised me. I didn’t know anyone was inside this store.” Although it might be a fatal mistake, Tara tested the waters and showed the stranger an act of good faith. She sheathed the knife back into the side of her jeans and raised her hands slightly, showing nothing but a flashlight. This could end poorly. “See? I’m not here to hurt you. Everything is alright. What’s your name? Are you with anyone?” Tara could see herself extending an invitation for this woman to join Alexandria if the woman was stable and deemed safe.

 

[Styxx]

Ellie's adrenaline rushed as she heard the footsteps move closer, presumably from room to room, and her fingers danced against the handle of her blade as she poised to strike. Closer, closer, closer. Then the door opened, slow and tentative, and a light shone in to the room. It missed her at first as it scanned the area, but once it fell on her she was able to catch sight of the intruder - shorter than her, by a few inches, brown hair. The woman had a friendly, though slightly startled, face and, well, El hadn't been expecting that to be frank. She held her pose, frozen with a deer caught in the headlights expression, as the newcomer slowly but surely sheathed her weapon and raised her hands up.

Swallowing her fear, she rolled her shoulders and then pulled her own knife back in a quick motion, shoving it in to the sheath on her belt. Was that a smart idea? She wasn't quite sure yet, but fuck now she'd find out.

Keeping her hand on her hip, thumb pressed just inside the hem of her pants, she swallowed and allowed the tension to release in her body. Her head cocked slightly the side and her shoulders relaxed as she let out a deep breath, and then she spoke up. "Ellie," she said simply as the woman introduced herself, and she almost shoved Tara out of the way to do a scan of the hallway to make sure there was no one else in the building. Content it was clear, she moved back. This time her hand rested on the brunette's shoulder as she passed back by her. She didn't have much but she still wanted to be between a stranger and the little she had left, regardless of how friendly they seemed to be. "I'm alone. Now," the now was tacked on without her even really thinking about it.

A moment of silence passed before she spoke up again.

"Are you from around here?" Ellie's tongue flicked over her lip and then her teeth scraped against the plump flesh of her lower lip.

 

[randomname98766789]

Tara experienced millions of thoughts within the span of seconds. The brunette felt thankful for this stranger at least putting down her weapon. Tara’s good faith might have paid off. Being around her family in Alexandria helped the woman trust again and seek out the best in others once more. At least the blonde offered a name.

Ellie.

That’s a cute name.

Focus, Tara.

Almost mesmerized with Ellie’s appearance, Tara did not register the other woman approaching her until she was practically shoved into the hallway. Ellie was just as apprehensive as Tara. “I’m alone.” The woman promised in a soft voice.

Judging by Ellie’s answer about being alone, she hinted that it was not always the case. Everyone had suffered losses in the apocalypse, Tara among them. Little did the woman know that her losses were becoming heavier when she stepped foot back into Alexandria. While pondering Ellie’s question, Tara found herself infatuated with the woman’s actions again. The way she flicked her tongue against her lips drove Tara wild. She always found the little things attractive. Despite being with Denise, it was difficult to deviate her mind from the gutter. She had been alone for a while and nearly died. She was craving some attention and touch.

“Yes and no.” She finally decided on the answer. “I went on a supply run probably three weeks ago with a member of my group. Things happened, like they always do, and I don’t know where he is. I’m trying to get back to my group now.” Of course, Alexandria still took in newcomers. Most of the time, it was Daryl and Aaron bringing them in after scouting possible additions for days or even weeks, much like Aaron and Eric did for Rick’s group.

“My group… we are a community near Washington D.C. It’s right outside of Alexandria. There are walls, houses, people, shelter, protection… it is so great. You won’t have to be alone anymore if you come with me. I know we just met but we always try to help everyone that needs it. You have a better chance at surviving with us. I can take you there, I can tell you more about it.”

Although Tara eagerly wanted Ellie to accept this invitation, Tara also realized that she needed to return home. Denise was probably worried sick. She would attempt to sway Ellie’s opinion but if she remained steadfast in declination of the offer, then Tara would leave soon enough.

 

[Styxx]

She was still on edge when whe gave a quick nod about a few moments of deliberation. Ellie wasn't quite sure why but she found herself trusting that this woman was being honest with her. Maybe she just seemed trustworthy, or maybe Elliot was just so tired of struggling to survive that even the thought of somewhere safe to rest her head brought her defenses down - maybe it was both. Either way, Ellie felt inclined to believe that Tara was genuine in her offer.

"Alexandria, huh?" Elliot pursed her lips together and ran her tongue against them as they popped apart, an instinctual gesture for her at this part. Alexandria, the city... It wasn't far off if her memory recalled - it was still early, they could be there within the day most likely. Had she really been that close to some semblance of civilization? Girls like Tara, who seemed both trustworthy and attractive, a bed to sleep on... Fuck. If she'd discovered this just a week ago things could have been okay but instead...

Ellie didn't even want to think about it. Instead she grabbed her virtually empty bag from the ground and, after running her hand through her hair and debating once more if this was really the best choice, spoke up. It was close enough that she still stood a chance to eventually find her brother, if he'd made it out alive. He wouldn't hate her for this. He'd want her to be safe. It was just hard for her to accept, knowing that doing so was leaving behind the one person that had stuck with her since day one.

"Tell me more," she asked of the brunette, her eyes meeting Tara's and betraying the combination of guilt and gentle hope that she felt.

 

[randomname98766789]

ara realized that Ellie must have been intrigued by the idea since she asked for more information. “It’s amazing. There are men, women, children, and families. You could even have your own house if you wanted. The people are kind and sweet. Everyone understands that we need each other to survive. We haven’t had any problems within our community. The only issues we’ve ever had was from the dead.” Up to that point to Tara’s knowledge, it was true. The sole event where shit went bad inside the walls happened with Pete and Rick but Pete was a dick and now he was dead.

Truly, everyone else inside the wall was amazing people in Tara’s opinion. She met her girlfriend there. She held Alexandria high on a list of pride and respect. She would not be the woman she is right now without the community and people. “This place saved my life and the lives of the group I was with. We assimilated into the community and I know you can, too. It is safe. It is truly safe. There is structure. Everyone has a job. The leaders are fair and it is a true democracy. There is food, water, and even electricity from generators they have. And there is running water!”

When Tara thought about it, Alexandria almost seemed like it had never seen the outbreak save for when the walls fell. “If you don’t like it, you can leave whenever you want. I want you to come back with me. Everyone deserves to be safe and feel safe. It might take some time to get used to everyone but that will happen. It happened with me. I was nervous at first but it was the best choice I ever made. You won’t regret it.” Tara was truly selling it hard to Ellie.

 

[Styxx]

Tara was really trying to talk her in to going to this place, and the more Elliot heard about it the more convinced she was that this was a good place to end up. She couldn't bare the thought of leaving Brandon behind but fuck, she was tired and drained and she needed some sort of oasis in this desert of defeat. She needed a shower, a warm meal, fresh clothes... But what if things weren't as good as this woman was making it sound? Sure it wasn't a case of "you'll do this or you'll die" but hey - that hadn't been the case with the Saviors either, until she was suddenly thrown in to the chaos of having to spend her day working or give herself to some dirty ass man just to have a few mouthfuls of food.

"Okay." She relented, though she was cautious at best about accepting this offer. "Okay. Running water won me. I don't even want to tell you how long it's been since I've had an actual shower." Ellie could feel her heart racing in her chest, the vibrations rattling through the lower part of her neck, as she offered the stunningly beautiful brunette a half-hearted smile. She didn't know what it was but there was something about Tara that made her feel like she could trust her, and people to trust were few and far between nowadays.

All she wanted was to stop having to run. She wanted quiet, peace, happiness, love. Hell, before this mess started she'd been a few months from popping the question to her girlfriend at the time. For the first time life had been good... and then it hadn't been good ever since. And hell - if she was lucky she'd manage to find an amazing friend out of this. Maybe it was too soon to really tell, but Tara seemed like someone she'd want to know - honest, genuine, trustworthy. (And maybe the fact that just looking at her made Ellie want to melt made that a little easier.)

 

[randomname98766789]

It was impossible to save everyone. However, if Tara could convince just one person to visit Alexandria and join the community, then that was a victory. She felt this way because Rick Grimes did not have to accept her. In fact, he should have wanted her dead because of her position with the Governor back at the prison. Knowing who she was, he accepted her into the group. Now, they were a family. Thanks to Rick bringing them to Alexandria, she met the woman of her dreams in Denise. Never did Tara think that Ellie would be interested in women. Usually, she could tell rather quickly if a woman was attracted to her but Ellie seemed like a professional at hiding feelings. Perhaps she could find someone in Alexandria, too. There were plenty people available. Even though the apocalypse was not a time for speed dating or finding love, it made everyone feel human.

At least, having Denise made Tara feel human. It was a feeling she wished for everyone to have. Once Ellie relented and agreed to check out Alexandria, there was a quiet sigh that left her lips. It was perfect! “That’s fantastic to hear, Ellie. I know you will never regret it. You won’t even believe it when you see it. It’s almost like this place was never impacted by the outbreak. In fact, you would never think it was if it was not far the armed guards at the fence.”

Chuckling, Tara picked up her backpack and finished looting this area of the store. “I don’t have a vehicle. Unless you do, I guess we’re on foot now. We should not be that far out. I’m thinking we can get there in another day or two but my sense of direction is not great. I have the map, though. I know we’re going in the correct direction.” Once Tara was prepared to move out again, she turned and led the way for Ellie. Tara did not even feel distracted that her back was turned to a stranger. Something about Ellie made Tara trust her already.

 

[Styxx]

Armed guards - not surprising, but still quite an unnerving thought to Ellie, who frankly worried about joining a group, especially a large one, at this point in time. She couldn't be alone forever, though. In this world you had to take what was given to you and hope for the best, and if she refused she would find herself wasting away in to nothing in the barren emptiness that the world had become since the dead had started rising. She would give it a shot, though - keep cautious, but try to remain optimistic. She already knew at least one person there seemed to be worth being around, and hey - maybe for once her luck had turned around and things would work out.

"Got nothing but my boots," Ellie said to Tara as she climbed to her feet and threw her bag over her shoulders, carefully scanning the area around her in hopes of finding something useful. If she was gonna show up she may as well appear to be useful, right? Or at least that was her thought process.

There was nothing, though. She knew that already, having scoured the building for something to munch on when she had first arrived. "Soo.... What way are we going?" She asked as she followed behind the brunette, her gaze falling to Tara's supple rear for a moment before she mentally chided herself. Now was not the time to be checking anyone out - nowadays that was a bigger waste of time than hoping to clear all the dead. Ellie stuffed her hands in to the pockets of her pants as they reached the front of the store, scanning the area immediately outside for any signs of trouble.

 

[randomname98766789]

Tara slightly miscalculated their trip. One second it was sunny. Within what felt like a matter of minutes, the skies opened up and dropped unreal amounts of rain. Tara and her new friend took shelter inside an abandoned home. The storm was raging and monstrous, producing thunder and lightning. It rattled the dead so it was entirely unsafe to travel during the storm that raged in the night. The women did fall asleep in the same bed but nothing happened other than sleep. Tara did care too much for Denise to think about Ellie in a different way. This was simply staying warm. There was no reason that they could not share the only bed in the house. It was the damn apocalypse. The old social cues and norms did not exactly apply anymore.

Once or twice, Tara bumped into Ellie’s body. It was not a complaint, though. She was quite the attractive woman but Tara never gave it much more thought than that. They continued on the road once the storm finished at first light the next morning. They made it to Alexandria without any other cessation in their progress. They could see the gates from quite a ways off.

“There it is!” Tara beamed happily. Clearly, she was happy to return after her journey away. These people here were her family and she did not want to be away from them anymore. It had been a tough time away from Denise and her friends. Little did she know that something much darker was here waiting for her upon her arrival. A smile was wide on her face as she reached the gates. Eugene greeted her but Tara was too happy to see the look on his face: one of sadness and heartbreak.

“This is Ellie. I found her on the way back. I ran into some trouble. There’s a lot that happened but she’s good… she helped me get here. I figured we could take her… in…”

At the end of her phrase, Tara’s face fell when Eugene was barely holding back tears and the first thing she thought about was Denise. She was even took shocked to move from the gates.

 

[Styxx]

Elliot was a touchy person - not in the sense that she would try to grope someone or anything like that, but rather she found herself often resting her fingertips against Tara's shoulder, brushing her hand across the woman's waist whenever she walked by. Passed out in the lone bed in the house they had made residence in on the stormy night, she had woken to find herself with her head pressed against Tara's back and her hand rested softly on the brunette's hip. She felt thankful that she was the first of them to rise from slumber, giving her the chance to pull away and give the impression that she hadn't spent what was probably most of the night cuddled up to Tara. She didn't know what expectations would be in place, but she knew that most women she came upon didn't quite enjoy being touched by other women like that. (Especially ones in a relationship, which Ellie had discovered as they chatted and ate from a can of beans they had found under the cupboard in the kitchen.)

She found herself growing more and more comfortable with the idea of joining this community, Alexandria, the more that she talked to Tara and learned about the adventures her makeshift family had been through, both before and since arriving there. Frankly, it seemed like it was turning out to be an amazing place and maybe, just maybe, she'd be lucky enough that things would work out.

Her outlook shifted as soon as they reached the gates, and she could take in the solemn look on the face of the man guarding the entrance. While Tara was too excited to be back, Ellie understood the gravity that expression came with and she took a step back as Tara rambled, putting a hand on her shoulder as the brunette came to realize what was going on. More than anything, Ellie now felt like coming here was going to haunt her.

They walked in solemnly as Eugene opened the gates - she'd had to give Tara a nudge forward. She stayed silent, keeping in line as Eugene pulled Tara in to a tight hug.

They'd lost people. A Glenn, an Abraham, a Denise. She didn't know them but she had heard of them, and her heart broke for her new friend - and then the fear set in, as she caught the name Negan come out of the man's mouth.

"I shouldn't be here," she mumbled quietly, barely loud enough to be heard by someone who was trying to listen. Let alone someone grieving.

 

[randomname98766789]

Tara was despondent. Denise. Sure, she would have cried about Abraham and Glenn alone, but Denise? Oh God. The tears flowed freely from her eyes. Her cheeks puffed immediately and she pulled back from the hug only to trip over her own feet and smack the ground face first. The world was spinning as Tara pulled herself up to her knees. Sobbing noises echoed from her lips followed by a soft whisper of the woman’s name.

“Denise… No…”

If it was not obvious yet, she was the woman in a relationship with Tara. Eugene, the poor soul, was also in tears having to relive the nightmare again. A crowd was forming and Rosita was the only person with the wherewithal to step in. Looking to Ellie, Rosita decided to trust her since Tara seemed to trust her.

“Come on. Let’s get you both inside to the infirmary. Let’s have a look over you.” They both were injured from the stereotypical scrapes and bruises from being in the apocalypse. It was nothing major but Rosita figured Tara needed some alone time. She all but picked the other woman off the ground and guided her towards the infirmary. Tara could barely open her eyes because this was where Denise worked and she spent hours here just talking to the woman, trying to help her study and learn all she could about being a doctor in the apocalypse.

Nobody heard Ellie say that she should not be here. Tara had been sobbing too loud. Minutes passed and the initial shock wore off. Instead of pure sadness, a look of rage and anger filled Tara’s eyes as she looked to Rosita and then to Eugene who was also here.

“Tell me… Tell me about Negan and the Saviors.”

“Well, they’re not good news. I told you who they killed. They took all our guns. Every last one of our fucking guns. Now, we have nothing to defend ourselves with. Do you have any leads on where we could find some, Tara? Did you see anything while you were gone?”

Yes, she did. But remembering who Tara was forced to swear that she would never speak about the Oceanside community, she pushed that thought from her mind. Looking to Rosita, Tara shook her head.

“No-No… I don’t. But I swear that I will get vengeance for my girlfriend’s death. I’ll kill the son of a bitch that got her.” Tara muttered, her fists clenching tight as her face grew an unkindly shade of red in anger while the tears silently slipped down her cheeks.

 

[Styxx]

Ellie was nothing less than silent the entire time, her mind racing a mile a minute as she tried to figure out what she was supposed to do in this situation. Part of her wanted to run far, far away - as far as she could possibly go, in the complete opposite direction the had came from to put as much space between her and the saviors as possible. She stayed quiet as Rosita guided her to the infirmary, her gaze flicking rapidly everywhere around her. This place couldn't look nearly as nice as Tara explained it to be when she knew that the place was already tainted.

"Um," Ellie swallowed the ball of anxiety that was forming in her throat as she spoke up from her seat in the infirmary, tears welling in her eyes as she prepared to be kicked out of this place. That was for the best, anyways. They'd be looking for her and she was a sitting duck here, especially if Negan had already found a good reason to try to fuck Alexandria up as much as possible. Harboring a fugitive? Negan would make things much, much worse for these people if he found out about that. When no one noticed, focused on the distraught Tara, she cleared her throat and asked for their attention again.

"Uh, I... I had a, uh, run in with them." She looks at Tara with tears in her eyes, hating herself for being involved with the people who had caused so much pain to such an amazing person; hating herself for the fact that she was about to distance herself from the one person she'd grown to trust since escaping the sanctuary. Everyone's opinion of her would change as soon as she said that she was in the compound, part of them, so much more than she had ever wanted to be but she needed to be. "Couple months ago they, uh... They took my brother and I in."

She'd broke out but she'd been there, and now? When the grief was so fresh and overwhelming and they'd lost so many good people?

She was going to be gone in ten seconds flat.

 

[randomname98766789]

To distraught, Tara did not hear when Ellie cleared her throat. Eugene was too busy looking at his emotionally destroyed friend. Only Rosita turned her head. At the sound of her voice, Rosita’s face turned a deadly color of red. Since Abraham was taken, she had changed for the worse: more aggressive and violent than ever before.

“Rosita, no!” Tara squeaked as the fiery Latina stormed towards Ellie.

“They took you in?! Well they took our people. I guess you got fucking lucky!” Rosita spat venomously. Still with tears flowing down her cheeks, Tara held Rosita back. It looked like she wanted to kill Ellie for being associated with them.

Tara already started to trust Ellie so an attack against Ellie was something she defended immediately.

“Take a walk, Rosita.”

Snarling, Rosita rolled her eyes. If looks could kill, Ellie would have been dead.

“Fine. Eugene, keep an eye on our Savior here. I’m going to get Rick.” Storming out of the room like an immature teenager, Rosita slammed the door and went to find Rick. Afraid that her new friend might leave, she pulled away from the table and stood beside the table that Ellie was on.

“Ellie. Don’t mind her. She’s just upset because she someone she really cared for. I did too. My girlfriend, Denise. They tell me she was killed by some Saviors. I know you feel like everyone will blame you since you were with them, but I want to hear your story. The way to talk about it, you don’t sound too happy. Besides, from what I hear, Negan does not sound like the kind of person that just lets anyone leave on their free will. Talk to me. I can make sure nobody hurts you here.”

In fact, Tara thought Ellie could be a weapon. If she knew anything about Negan and anything about the Saviors that could help, perhaps she would help them take Negan down. It sounded like impossible odds but it sure as hell was not a bad thing if they held onto someone that had inside information. The most difficult task was probably getting certain people to see Ellie as a friend and not an enemy. In Rick’s devoid mental state, Tara was clueless as to what he might do upon hearing this news. Nonetheless, Tara was somehow ready to defend Ellie’s life with her own if it was called for.

 

[Styxx]

Elliot jumped back from her spot as Rosita rushed at her, leaning away. Her hands caught her from falling straight off of the table, and she stared at Rosita with wide, fearful eyes as Tara grabbed her and held her back. Her thumbs were tucked under the table and she was precariously perched, frozen in fear. The latina wasn't big but she looked like she had fight to her, and she obviously had the temper to match. Ellie could easily get ruined in one hit from her.

"It's not like she thinks, I didn't do anything to your people I promise." Once Rosita's gone she adjusts her position in stiff, uncomfortable movements. As soon as she starts speaking she's in tears - after joining them, she hadn't left the complex until the day she managed to free herself. Brandon? Maybe. She didn't know what went on during his trips out, he never talked about it, but she was sure that he would never do anything to harm another person without a good reason to. He was just a runner... And now she was really hoping that he hadn't been out that day, that he was safe from being guilty here and she wasn't even more guilty just by being an acquaintance.

"I didn't know they'd done anything, I just knew I didn't want to be there. Some dude found Brandon and I wandering and took us in. It was good. There was food and showers and a roof over my head and I hadn't had that in so long." She's almost hysterical, scared that as soon as their leader found out she'd be forced on to the road - or worse. She leaves out the gruesome details, the things she doesn't want to remember - the horror on Brandon's face as Negan approaches him with a white hot iron, the adrenaline that coursed through her veins as she threw herself in the path and offered herself up to the devil himself to keep her only family safe... She knew. She knew just how bad it could be - she just hadn't known that anyone had been dying. How could she have been around people like that? She curls her knees up to her chest as the tears slow, not to a stop but to a more manageable pace and she offers Tara the most apologetic look that she ever could. She'd killed this woman's love, even if she hadn't actually been there. She'd killed her friends. Broke so many others. She was just as guilty as Negan himself. She should have paid more attention to what was going on.

"I left, Tara. I ran. My brother found a way out and we left as fast as we could and never looked back. It's not a good place. And I didn't know they were killing anyone." She looks defeated, and she's full well prepared for this to go badly. This... Rick. He was the leader, she knew that much thanks to Tara and context. He wouldn't want to take the enemy in, and she deserved to be called just that.

 

[randomname98766789]

Tara knew it. Ellie did not look like a person capable of producing such harm to an innocent man or woman. The way her eyes glazed over in fear whenever the name Negan or the word Saviors was mentioned told Tara everything she needed to know. The young woman knew how to read people better than anyone. If someone offered any body language hints, Tara would find out. It was only fair that Ellie had a chance to explain herself. Tara wanted to give her that chance. If she felt safe with her, maybe she would open up. The tears started flowing and Tara knew she could not fake that genuine reaction.

Usually, she would not do this – but Tara placed a hand onto Ellie’s arm. Since she just lost Denise, she felt in the mood for some comfort – a hug, a touch, anything. This somehow calmed her as well. It was inexplicable. When Ellie offered a response, Tara did nothing but sit in silence and listen to her make the explanation. It sounded like an oasis. A shelter, food, people… it seemed like this Negan guy was charismatic and a master manipulator. However, she clearly knew there was something wrong with Negan and his people judging by the overload of tears. They must have taken something from her as well. They were the same in that. She wondered if it was this Brandon she talked about. A boyfriend, maybe? No. It was her brother. They left and they knew it was not a safe place. Tara believed her. When the woman had a chance to say everything she wanted, only then did Tara start responding.

“Listen to me, Ellie. This is not your fault. You could not have known nor could you have stopped it. You are as much a victim of his cruelty as we are. Rick will see that. You did not kill any of our people. I know that. You are not even indirectly involved. It is good that you escaped. I figure Negan will look for you if I hear everything about him correctly. We can keep you safe here and protect you. I know it.”

It seemed like Ellie just needed a hug. Tara needed a hug, too. Without fear of what might happen, she wrapped her arms tightly around her new friends and breathed in her scent. Even with days on the road, there was something sweet about her scent.

“Ellie… are you willing to help us? Is there anything you can tell our leader about them? About Negan? We will fight back. You can help us. You can get your vengeance. If you have something to offer, I know you’ll be safe here. Besides, I promised you that the people here were kind. I meant it. I don’t think he will kick you out. Get that out of your mind right now.”

 

[Styxx]

Tara hugged her and Elliot leaned in to the touch, finding comfort in having a hand she knew would be safe on her skin. She slowly released her hold on herself and leaned in the brunette. Human contact... contact with someone who didn't hurt... It made all the differences in moments like this, when all she could think about was the destruction and havoc Negan had caused her let alone even trying to comprehend how profoundly he'd affected these people too, without even having them under his control. Or did he now? Was that what his "alliances" were - beating people in to submission, killing them off and telling them they had to submit or die? She shuddered at the fact that she'd ever let someone like that touch her and god, she wished she'd never needed to.

"I don't know," she said simply, sliding her arms in to freedom so that she could wrap one around Tara in return. She wished she could say yes, that she'd have vital information and that she could help these people avenge the lives they'd lost to someone so cruel. "I don't know if I know anything that can help but I'll try. Just... You guys are going to be in for a hell of a ride if he finds me here. I can't burden you with that too..."

It was at that point that Rick pushed the door open followed by a still furious Rosita.

"That's her," the latina snapped, pointing at Elliot and narrowing her eyes at Tara who she deemed to be allying with the enemy. Ellie quickly pushed Tara away from her when she locked eyes with Rosita, and then glanced down towards the ground.

"You were with the Saviors?" Rick seems tense as he skips introductions and jumps right to the topic at hand, distrust in his eyes but also a hint of hope. The leader in him was coming through, knowing that having someone from the inside could help their battle.

"Yes." Ellie looks at him as she speaks to him, though she'd much rather focus her attention on counting the floor tiles.

 

[randomname98766789]

When Rick and Rosita entered the infirmary, Tara quickly pulled away from Ellie. It was like the little kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar kind of reaction when the parent walked in. Watching the tense moment, Rosita could not hold her tongue.

“She is one of them, Rick. Abraham. Glenn. Denise.” The last name was said, her eyes bearing deep into Tara’s. It was at this point that Tara decided to stand up for Ellie. Clearly, the woman felt threatened in this environment. It was not the best way to open her up about Negan with the same fear that she must have faced there as well.

“Rosita, fucking stop this. She did not want to be there. When you stormed out, she told me that she was not there by choice. If you gave her a chance to explain it, then maybe you would sympathize with her. She’s not the enemy, Rick. She’s just like us. All she wants is to be safe again. She knows things – things about the Saviors that can help us. We can’t throw that way.”

Okay, maybe Tara was exaggerating a little. Ellie did not say she was there by force. In fact, she seemed to convey the opposite that she found the Saviors and thought it was a safe zone. This version of the story sounded better and Tara hoped Ellie would go with the flow. Besides, the only person that heard the true version other than Tara was Eugene and he was harmless. Eugene knew she was lying but one look from Tara his way made Eugene look back down to the floor.

Secondly, Ellie even admitted that her information might not help them. Again, that was not something she could tell Rick. Hell, even if she had to bullshit some generic information then that would be enough. Tara was just seemingly hellbent on keeping Ellie safe. They had not time to coordinate earlier. Finally, it appeared that Rick had an idea.

“Fine. Tell us what you know. We can keep you safe here. Negan will be here every week for half of all our supplies. Before he arrives, I can send you out with a supply run group so you’re never here when he is. That’s the best way to hide you.”

 

[Styxx]

Elliot didn't correct Tara, knowing that the way she had explained it would look better to Rick. He didn't need to know everything, just that she had fled and wasn't there as a spy or something. He was probably thinking it, no doubt - it would be in the back of his mind. Had she known that her last home had been relevant information she would have said something before getting to Alexandria but she hadn't known that Negan's hold extended this far or this strongly.

"I know a lot about their inner workings but I don't know what they do outside," she admitted to Rick, being up front about what she could and couldn't tell him. "I was-" just thinking about the end to the sentence she was trying to finish made her want to puke but she had to be up front "- uh... I was one of his wives." She grimaces in disgust, and she feels dirty just admitting that out loud. She had complicated, though entirely negative feelings about that and frankly, she didn't want to talk about that. She could... But she prayed that he wouldn't ask about the details of that arrangement.

"There's a lot of people there. More than you'd think. You work for everything you take unless you're in his inner circle. They burn peoples faces off if they break rules. Its disgusting. He makes everyone watch, he did it to his own second in command." She rambles, trying to think of anything and everything she knew that could possibly give her an advantage and maybe, possibly make the furious girl in the room a little less furious. That wasn't happening, though.

"A couple days before I felt they were planning an attack on some people who had killed everyone at one of the outposts. They have what I thought was alliances with a few different groups but I'm starting to think there's less allying there than I was lead to believe. Stuff like what you just said, half of stuff." She pauses and looks over to Tara, hoping the woman doesn't venture too far from her side, and then looks back to Rick. "I'll tell you anything you want to know just let me know what you want. And I'm so, so sorry you're tangled up in this. I wouldn't wish Negan on anyone or anything. And if I'd known he was here... Well I'd have gone miles in the other direction. Thank you. Really. No one deserves to keep suffering."

 

[randomname98766789]

When Eliot admitted that she was one of Negan’s wives, Tara’s eyes widened. Her face twisted in disgust because clearly, her friend did not want to be Negan’s wife. It took her a second before she realized something. Wives? Plural?! What kind of man was this? It was clearly not a consensual desire. Negan was a sick man. Tara had never seen him but she already hated the man. Plus, she hated him for ever putting a gentle soul such as Ellie through such a hardship. It made Tara more upset when she heard about the gruesome form of punishment he dished out with burning people’s faces. This man was a psycho and Tara knew he needed to be stopped.

Ellie talked about a group that killed everyone at the outposts. It was this group that did such a thing. Nonetheless, nobody cared to tell her that yet. Tara waited until she finished before doing anything else or saying anything else. It made Tara sad to think Ellie would not have come here if she knew about Negan. Tara did not want to lose this girl she grew close with already. That was a rarity in these days and it was something she tried to hold onto.

Rick rubbed a hand over his face. The former sheriff was frustrated. These days had been especially tough on him. Rick was the leader of Alexandria. These were his people that Negan killed. It was him that Negan psychologically tortured during their meeting. Rick could not take it much longer. He did not want anything else to happen. He feared what Negan would do if he found Ellie here. Perhaps there would be a reward for turning her in? Nonetheless, Rick decided to turn towards Tara.

“Tara? Do you vouch for her? Do you think she’s been planted by Negan?”

Immediately, Tara shook her head. “Yes, I vouch for Ellie. No, she’s not planted by Negan. Negan has never even met me. I found Ellie in a gift shop, hiding and surviving. There’s no way in hell that was planned. She saved my life on this trip. She’s a good person. I will vouch for her. If she does anything, I’ll take the blame for letting her stay. We don’t even have to open up a new house. I’ll let her stay at my place. I promise, I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Relenting, Rick finally nodded his head and agreed to the terms, allowing Ellie to stay.

 

[Styxx]

Ellie simply observed for a tense moment as she waited for Rick to speak up again and seal her fate, her green gaze flicking back and forth between each person in the room - the horrified expression on Tara's face as she learned of what the compound had done, frustration on Rick's and pure, seething anger still on Rosita's. When Rick addressed Tara, El's eye's focused on the brunette as she waited to hear what Tara had to say; relief flooded her when Tara immediately jumped to taking her side - and even offering her a place to stay. She wouldn't have said anything, not yet at least, but she hated the idea of having a house to herself. The emptiness, the sounds of settling that mimicked footsteps and knocks on windows... It would consume her faster than she wanted to admit.

"I can't believe this," the latina muttered as she shook her head, locking eyes with Tara in a death glare before walking out of the infirmary still shaking her head.

"Thank you Tara." Elliot flashes a small smile to her friend as Rick agrees, and then she looks over at at the leader of the group. "And thank you. I mean it, I'll tell you anything that you want to know."

She's sincere, though of mixed feelings. Part of her wants to feel, but part of her knows that her best chances lay with being part of a group, even if it's a group that had been forced under the control of the very many she was escaping from. She could hide - that was something that she was good at. She could run and she could keep herself scarce, find a way to be of value to these people while keeping herself safe.

 

[randomname98766789]

Without even being told, Eugene exited the infirmary behind Rosita and Rick. Outside the thin walls, Tara heard Rosita giving Rick a piece of her mind. Clearly, the fiery woman did not agree with this course of action. She had been overruled and her true colors were shown. Rosita was dangerous. She was willing to kill anyone that she thought had a bearing on Abraham’s death. If they were going to fight Negan, they needed patience and planning. There were many things Tara wanted to ask Ellie. How long was she with Negan? How did she become his wife? How did he act towards her? Where were they located? How many people were in the group?

Being someone that also lost another, Tara did not ask those questions. It appeared her brother, Brandon, must have been dead. She said something about them escaping together yet here she was without a male joining her. Tara did not need to be an expert English professor to draw those inferences. The way she acted made it appear she lost someone. Shaking her head, Tara took a deep breath as she wiped away the dried tears on her cheek.

“Don’t thank me. I’m just doing the right thing. I trust you and I believe you’re a good person. You don’t deserve to be alone.”

After offering Ellie a soft smile, she made sure that they both were fully attended to with their injuries. The sun had set already and it was night.

“We should get going. Each house has multiple bedrooms. You can take one of the vacant ones right across from mine.” Tara explained as they walked away from the infirmary. She led Ellie on the long walk from here to her house through the community. Everyone had different glances for Ellie. Some were aggressive, some were understanding, and some were in different. Everyone had an opinion and news about her spread like a wildfire.

 

[Styxx]

Rosita's outburst had surely called attention to her, and Elliot insisted on staying inside the infirmary until she was sure that the woman had gone off to do whatever it was she needed to. She understood the pain that came with loss - though she didn't know if her brother had died or not he was good enough as dead. There was a chance he'd lived, not been found - but each day turned in to a lower chance she would ever find him, and that was if he hadn't already been caught. He had tried to take the attention from her when they were found, after all. By the time they left the building word about the newcomer had gotten around the safezone, and Ellie would have had to be blind to not catch the way prying eyes tried to make sense of her as she walked along side her friend.

Tara hadn't been kidding. There were people here, lots - less than the saviors but still more people than she'd ever seen in one place outside of there since the day things fell to shit. Maybe she could become a blur in a sea of faces, here. She didn't want the attention to be on her.

After they reached the house they settled out a living arrangement, and Ellie took the room right across the hall from Tara's. The place was minimally touched by the saviors, surprisingly, but it would still be glaringly obvious that things had been taken from the home just like they had been from every other house within the walls. Ellie knew no different.

Eventually it was time to head to bed, she was tired after a long day on the road and then an even more exhausting evening getting here. She curled in to bed, covers pulled closed, and stared at the ceiling as she begged for sleep to take her. For a while she tossed and turned, trying to find a position she could sleep in, but eventually she let out a sigh of defeat. The silence was deafening and she didn't know how to sleep with so much emptiness around her. Maybe, just maybe...

She got out of bed and pulled some shorts on so that she was wearing something other than a tank top and opened the door, stepping across the hall and then knocking on Tara's door. "You up?" She asked, hopeful that Tara would be awake but also hoping she wouldn't wake her up.

 

[randomname98766789]

Once entering inside the bedroom, Tara had no idea what to do. The first thing she did was seek a new change of clothes. Upon opening the closet, Tara saw something that broke her heart. Half of the closet was full of Denise’s clothing items while the other half was Tara’s. It was not long ago when they moved in together. They had fallen in love and really started to grow in their relationship. Tara’s eyes went to the bed where she spent so many hours at night cuddling and talking to the love of her life.

Her brown eyes finally shed some tears again as she crouched down at the side of the bed where Denise always slept. She ran her hand over the blankets and could not help but lean down to smell them to catch her scent. A ghostly whisper of her name left Tara’s lips. She was paralyzed for half an hour, just clutching the same pillow her head rested on every single night. Finally, Tara stripped down into nothing before pulling on a pair of underwear, shorts, and a tank top. She did not even bother to pick up her clothing off the ground. Her bedroom was one of the lucky ones.

Tara heard that the Saviors had taken quite a few mattresses from the houses. Tara felt almost guilty for sleeping here on a mattress while others did not have one. Nonetheless, she shook that thought from her head and curled up on the bed: her head was on one pillow and her arms caressed the other. It was a night full of rage, sadness, and no sleep. She hoped that when she returned, Denise would be here in her arms the first night. The heartbreak was unbearable. Her eyes were a bloodshot red, her cheeks were puffy, and the pillow her head lay on was soaked in tears as was a little bit of the mattress. The tears were flowing freely and Tara hardly bothered to do anything about it. When Tara heard the knock at the door, she jolted up aggressively ready to fight until she heard a soft, familiar voice.

Trying to make herself look presentable, Tara wiped her face and opened the door within a few seconds. Looking at Ellie with a shaky smile, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

“Hi… are you okay? Can’t sleep?” She asked softly as she could truly relate to that.

 

[Styxx]

Ellie had been about to turn back towards her room, sure she had caught Tara asleep, when the brunette opened the door. She immediately noticed the red eyes and puffy cheeks, signature signs of someone who had been crying and she began to regret coming over. She had obviously interrupted some much needed grieving... But could she really turn back now? She'd already forced Tara from her bed and broke the monotony. Besides - now she desperately wanted to wrap her arms around her friend and hold on, tell her everything would be okay. She knew it wouldn't, probably - that losing someone you love takes a piece of you and nowadays, no one got time to grieve as they deserved. She wanted to try and make things better.

"Um, yeah." She offered Tara a small, anxious smile and grasped her elbow with the opposite hand, hoping her presence wouldn't be a problem. "It's... gonna sound really whiny but it's just weird having so much empty space to myself." Feels like any second the monsters are going to come out, she didn't tack on to the end, but the thought was ever present in her mind. She was so used to watching her back after the last week-ish since she had escaped the savior's compound, and the vast openness and emptiness of such a big place was making her feel like there would end up being something around every dark, empty corner.

"Are you okay?" She knew the answer but she asked anyways foolishly, stepping forward to put a hand on to Tara's shoulder in a vague attempt to comfort her. She had been there before, but at least there had been closure there - she'd watched her girlfriend get taken down, been the one to put her down as the life slipped out of her body. It was sudden but she'd had time to know that the end was coming and be there, make sure that her love knew that she was loved... God, that had been so long ago now. At least a year by now she figured, though she actually didn't have much of an idea. "I know it's hard, and I'm sorry that what was supposed to be a great return turned in to such a mess."