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Fact: My hair was down to past my shoulders..I cut it all off and have it in a bag for the next time I go to jamaica..seems my lil cousin wants to stuff a teddy bear with it...
 
Fact: My hair is freakishly soft for a guy who washes it with regular soap....
 
Fact: I have soft and thick hair, too. Everytime I go to the stylist, I always get comments on it.

Fact: My peppermint bark is chilling in the fridge. Soon it will be ready to nom on.
 
Fact: Commission art is taking WAY longer than expected.
Fact: It is pretty BA looking regardless of the time constraint I am forcing myself to finish it in.
 
Info: I've officially lost my Mexican.
At least he told me the truth. Just doesn't think of me the same anymore.
I think it hurts so much because I would die for this man. Yet, not good enough.
He keeps feeding me those "for now" lines, which is bullshit. Until he can give me the yes or no, I can't talk to him. I don't think I would be able to keep my composure if he tried to...
 
Now you stop thinking your unloveable right now. I'm serious. You wouldn't have friends if that were true, and you do have friends.

So the Mexican is being a putz. In all honesty, most long distance dating relationships don't last. I'd have hoped you'd be one of the few that do, but I'm sorry you weren't.

But don't take the blame on yourself. It's not you; it's the distance. And human nature. You were... incidental, in terms of what caused this. You ARE loveable. It's him that's changed.
 
Then why do I get fucked over?
Always.
I'm sick of being the one hurt. The one crying.

See MM, I can't believe that. Because ANY relationship ends the same way for me, "Yeah, just don't think of you that way." or something along the same lines.
The only real friends I have are over the internet, which is why I thought it could work.
 
You're a lovely young woman with a great mind. Any guy ought to be lucky to know you.

But I know you're not going to believe me, at least not now. You're too sad and depressed and caught up in the new tragedy of it.

So I recommend you let the grief happen. It's going to anyway. It's all right to mourn the loss of a relationship, it's allowed to get depressed and want to curl up with a weepy movie or two or whatever it is you do when you're wallowing. You area allowed to wallow.

What you're not allowed to do is to STAY that way. But that's a concern for later in the week. Right now, I think you ought to give yourself permission to grieve and just be down. Let it out.

If we internet people are your friends, then we'll do what little we can to help. Beyond giving you moral support and listening when you vent, I'm not sure what that can be. But whatever it is, it'll still be here later. You cope with your loss however you need to. But let me tell you, Nymph... Em... you're too fine a woman to stay down like that. Take your time, but I do expect to see you coming through to the other side of it.
 
Honestly, I just want to rebuild all my walls and let no one in.
Ever again.
I have a hard time coming back from things like this.
Seeing as my entire life has been, "Yeah, we don't love you enough to stay."
I just want to curl up and stay there, be emotionless, be nothing. Just hide from the pain of having it happen once more.
I don't know how much more I can handle.

Though, I have to thank you for trying to help, I'll try to keep it in mind and all..
But with Manic Depression and everything else. It may be harder than it should be.
 
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