Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

Forest of the Sapphisari [FxF] (Raina_Reader X Javorcek)

She continued to purr in contentment, nodding slowly as she felt t he nuzzle against her head. "Accompany you to the festival?" She whispered in surprise. Naria had ofcourse intended to go, pay her respects to the dead and say her goodbyes to her lost love before her spirit is sent to the skies above in the great pyre, although She was uncertain if she would have an appetite by the time of the feast, and while she was usually more than excited to meet new sisters, she knew she couldn't, not this time, any one of them could have been the one, and most on the first night were not so accepting of their new life, the last thing they needed was a grieving widow. She was not confident that she could keep calm around them, at least not while the loss was so fresh. She was just grateful the elders didn't choose her to act as sapphress for one of the four, as sadistic as that may be, it had happened before where a grieving widow had been selected to perform the ritual on her lovers killer.

"Dancing...and music." She repeated Lexa's words, face nestled against her chest. If the warrior was with her, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, she felt safe in her arms and the invite meant something else, it meant there was a chance for them to spend more time together over food and music, with others, learning more about interests and passions, she needed a friend and this seemed the best way to build upon it. Cuddling by the fire was pleasant, but Lexa was still a stranger to her even if she did feel safe in her arms.

"I'd like that." She said finally after a bit of silence, before finally drifting off to sleep against her.
 
"Good." Lexa smiled, a broad and genuinely happy one. The festival would be a good way for the pair of them to see if they had any similar interests. Their professions were so different that Lexa didn't think they would have anything in common there, but perhaps in their free time they would like a few of the same things, enough to build a friendship with at least.

The warrior tilted her head down and gave a soft kiss to the top of Naria's head before she settled back down with her chin resting on top of it. She forced herself to stay awake a little while longer, one of her calloused hands running soothingly up and down the female's back to help relax her. Only when she felt Naria melt into her arms, heard the caretaker's breathing become deep and slow, did the warrior allow herself to drift off to sleep as well.

------------------

Sasha's ears twitched at the word 'forge'; the blacksmith apparently had such a high interest in her trade that even in her sleep she could discern words pertaining to her profession. Other than that slight flick of her ears though, she did not move, the poor girl too exhausted to wake up even when light was streaming through the open door of the hut.

"Nnnngfff..." Sasha made a noise somewhere between a whine and a groan as she was awoken by the smell of juice and a female softly calling at her. "My name is Sasha." The young blacksmith's voice was hoarse from screaming and vomiting. She was so weak that her eyes refused to open, not like she really wanted to anyways; she didn't want to confirm this nightmare that she was currently living. Even though she had not seen herself, she felt different, knew that she probably looked like one of these creatures...such a thought was cause enough for her to just wish to lay there and will herself to death.
 
Chelle smiled, which quickly turned into a frown as the girl woke to quickly protest her new name. Setting down the cup of fresh juice, she picked up the waterskin instead, uncapping it to bring it to her lips. "It's just water, I promise. You are hoarse and thirsty, the change has left you empty, please drink, you are only extending your suffering if you don't." She tried not to be pushy with her, she knew what was going through her head, and after a few minutes whether she drank the contents or not, Chelle set down the waterskin and sighed once more.

"Sasha was a human who disappeared in our forest, never to be seen again. this is what the humans who knew you will say. Sasha was a human who killed one of us, but her crimes are forgiven because she too is dead. You are Ferra, a sapphisari, like me, who will be cherished and loved among the tribe." She tried to word it in a way to stress the importance of the distinction. Sasha was an enemy, an outsider, and a murderer. Ferra was a beloved member of the tribe, innocent and pure, guilty of nothing.

Chelle's left hand reached out to carress her cheek, fingers bristling along the dark fur on the side of her face, leaning in to press her forehead against Ferra's, her other hand reaching to the top of her head, gently touching one of her sensitive ears. She had hoped that Ferra's exhaustion would prevent her from denying this gesture of affection, the last thing she wanted was her nose to be bitten off, and Ferra's teeth would be significantly sharper now.

"Your experience as a blacksmith is very valuable, we've never had anyone with your trade within the tribe, atleast I assume not since there's never been a forge built, but our builders are going to set one up now, just for you-I-if that's what you want, I mean. We are all expected to contribute to the tribe in some way, it is most common for us to rely on past skills to do so, but you will not be forced to act as blacksmith if it's something you don't want....I know it seems we are given very little choice here, but the elders do try and let us pursue that which brings us joy." She stopped talking for a moment, nuzzling her nose lightly, hoping that something would give, that she could connect with her in some way, it pained Chelle to see the girl tied up looking defeated.

"There's some food here, dried fish, fruit, and, egg, plus sweet nectar, it will make you feel better, will you let me feed it to you?"
 
Even with her eyes closed and no point of reference, the poor girl felt like everything was spinning. The sickness she felt was worse than anything she had ever experienced in the 17 winters she had spent on this earth. She was vaguely aware of Chelle rustling around in front of her, putting something down and grabbing something else. That something else turned out to be a waterskin, something that Sasha was too exhausted to argue drinking from; poison or not, she was fairly certain that she could not feel any worse than she already did. She parted her lips and lost a bit of the water down the side of her mouth and cheek, but for the most part the fluid went down her burning throat, offering just the slightest bit of comfort.

Cold, naked, exhausted, ill, and depressed, Sasha felt completely and utterly defeated as Chelle spoke and reminded her that her future was even more hopeless than her present. She would never be allowed back home, not looking as she did now, not after she had turned into one of these...creatures. She would never see her father or brother again, would never complete her journey to become a master blacksmith. Everything about her old life was out of her grasp...and now she was supposed to join these sapphisari at the cost of her old life. She didn't want to be cherished and loved among this tribe, she just wanted to go home.

The touch to her cheek and soft nuzzle to the top of her head offered a little comfort to the despairing smith. Chelle is nice, despite how difficult I have been to her, she is still trying to take care of me.... Maybe not all sapphisari or whatever these things were were bad... Chelle was trying to have a forge built for her after all... To have a purpose in this life...to be able to work at something she had always shown a talent for...maybe she could at least find some calm in that. "I have no other skill than smithing." Sasha murmured in response. She had a host of basic skills of course: she could cook for herself, mend clothes, and was fair with a sword, but the only thing that Sasha -excelled- at was manipulating metal. Diving into her work would be a good way to spend the rest of this life... Even though she was an abomination now, she was still pretty sure that suicide would be more frowned upon by God than eking out an existence as one of these things.

The young smith gave a little nod at the mention of food. Her stomach was rolling and upset and she knew she had to get something down before she started throwing up bile again, "Just the egg...I do not think I will be able to keep anything else down..."
 
"No skill in anything else? You seemed pretty good with a sword, or so I'm told, and they are always looking for more warriors to defend the forest, especially after losing three, and these are uncertain times." 58 mercenaries from the west was a very large group, many feared it was a sign of increasing hostilities from that side, especially if said groups continued to disappear. "But if it's smithing you like, you will be free to pursue it. Having your own forge, you will be free to mine materials and hone your trade as you please, just as you will be expected to craft something when asked, but other than that you will have many freedoms here. I am a tanner and clothier, which means we could end up working together-if you wanted of course. Our trades do lend themselves to synergy."

Chelle was not much older than Ferra, at only twenty three summers, her husband had been the merchant and far older than her, she did as she was told most of the time, and while some of her knowledge of her current trade was picked up from him, she had to learn most of it here.

Gently she continued to nuzzle her face, one hand, affectionately wiping her cheek of the excess water before gently caressing her arms and shoulders as a form of comfort. "I know you're miserable." She said in a soft whisper, their noses touching. "I remember how it felt, waking up, my muscles and insides feeling as if they were on fire, scorched. Everything else feeling foreign and entirely wrong suggesting to me that I had become a freak just like those that had captured me. My husband dead, and the beast that did this to me standing over me, taunting me demanding that I stop crying. No hope of ever seeing my home again. Gods be damned, I know what you're going through."

The eastern kingdoms or atleast one of the kingdoms that Chelle had hailed from, on the other side of the valley, opposite of where Sasha came from, worshiped five gods, and she had not yet kicked the habit of evoking their names, or all of them at once in times of frustration, even though it was considered taboo to carry human beliefs into the tribe. Chelle ofcourse didn't consider the sapphisari to be freaks or monsters, not anymore, but felt it was likely apt for the situation, and Raelis certainly was deserving of the title of beast. Even now she didn't much care for her.

"I will do everything I can to help you and make you comfortable. I want to make this transition easier for you. It does get better, I swear." She lifted her head, gently kissing Ferra's forehead before pulling away, turning to the breakfast sitting upon the table at her side. "Just the egg, hn? Well if you say so, the fruit is really fresh, even if you cant eat the solids the nectar would help...but we'll start with the egg." She smiled, reaching to lift up the half cooked egg, the golden yolk jiggling slightly, threatening to break. "Hnnn..."

Pulling her hands away, she turned back to face Ferra, considering her for a moment. "I...I want to untie you. I didn't much care for being in that position like you and being force fed, while my body ached, craving to move and stretch. your knees must be killing you...and I'm sure you'd much rather feed your self." She offered a sympathetic look, before leaning in close, reaching her arms around to untie the ropes. "...Please don't try to run..." She said very softly as she pulled away back into her seat to face her once again, now that her bindings had been undone. The guards would be more than capable of catching her if she did attempt to flee the hut, not to mention the pitfall traps surrounding the area, but she really hoped she could develop some kind of trust with the girl.
 
"A blacksmith who doesn't know how to use the tools she makes can never be a master... Any apprentice can make a blade... any journeyman can make a sword... but only a master smith can turn a simple tool into an extension of the body." Sasha had grown up a blacksmith's daughter, she was just as passionate about her craft as her father was. Even as sick as she was, she was willing to argue that she wasn't good at anything other than smithing - to be mediocre at something was not just not good enough in her mind. Yes, she understood weapons, how they worked and how to use them... but a warrior needed more; a warrior needed to be brave.... Sasha was not brave. She had been frightened of the creature charging at her and had drawn her sword to defend herself, clumsily killing the beast...

Sasha was quiet after that, listening to Chelle tell her more about herself. She had worked with a few tanners in the past. While she wasn't well versed in the particulars of leather, she could forge any buckle or fastening that Chelle might sketch out and ask of her. The word 'gods' made her ears twitch though. She must be from the eastern kingdoms... Sasha knew of those people, the ones who worshipped five gods instead of just one. The western kingdoms used to be the same way, she remembered her grandparents praying to several gods when she had been very little. As the years went by, fewer and fewer people believed in gods and many started to listen to the priests who spoke of just one. She had been taught in church that those who worshipped many gods would burn in hell....maybe it was that sentiment which made her country want to go to war with eastern heathens.

Despite the changes in religion, her father had always told her to keep her religion to herself, 'We are smiths, not preachers. We will sell to anyone who wants our wares. As long as they are not a criminal, it shouldn't matter what they believe or what country they come from.' Sasha had always figured her father was right, many travelers had passed through their village on their way north or south on the river. Many of them had worn funny clothes or spoken in different languages, it would do no good to deny them service in the name of religion.

Sasha accepted the affections of Chelle, finding them similar to the ones female relatives and caretakers would give her in an effort to make her feel better. She knew that while she appeared an adult, many thought of Sasha as a child. The young blacksmith nodded a bit in response to the egg and for the first time since she had changed, opened up her eyes. She panicked when she first saw herself, saw the dark fur that covered her bound arms, sides, and legs. The smith lurched forward as though she was trying to run away from her own body before collapsing from the effort, far to weak to manage much of any movement right now.

When Chelle mentioned untying her, Sasha made a noise that was somewhere between a bitter bark and a laugh. She was not sure she could get up, let alone run. When Chelle untied her, she actually collapsed, the only thing that had been holding her in a kneeling position had been the ropes. Rather than try to get up she stayed on the floor, not trusting her new body to do anything other than lay there as she waited for the blood to start flowing freely again in her sore arms and legs.
 
Noting the panic in Ferra's eyes after glimpsing herself for the first time, she hushed her, stroking her hair gently, and when the girl collapsed to the floor after being untied, she shoved the chair she had been sitting on away, falling to her knees in an attempt to scoop the weak, defeated girl up in her arms, gently stroking her back reassuringly. Not wanting to push the girls boundaries she pulled away after helping her up and pulling a second chair over to the table, easing the girl into it. "There, now you can sit, stretch as you like and help yourself to the food."

Still standing next to her she could tell that aside from the pain, she was cold and uncomfortable. "Many don't wear clothes regularly, it's not a taboo to be naked here, unlike in human societies, but I haven't gotten used to it." She motioned to the furs and leathers upon her own body. "So I don't blame you if you're feeling...exposed." The Sapphisari turned away from Ferra toward the window, leaning out of it a moment to call out to whomever was outside. "Could we get some clothing for our new sister, she is uncomfortable." There was a shout of acknowledgement before Chelle turned around looking satisfied, pulling the second chair toward the table and sitting upon it, across from Ferra.

"They are going to get you something to wear, in the meantime, help yourself to anything you see, and try the juice if you can, and of course there's more water." The apprehension was becoming notable in Chelles voice the more she talked, clearly wanting to do everything she could to make Ferra happier and her time easier, reaching her hand out, placing it over top of the smithys reassuringly.

After a few moments passed, the door opened, but one could only glimpse a bit of dark fur and a tail as they reached in to place a folded fur kilt and leather jerkin upon the floor before closing the door quickly.
 
Even though she was covered in fur, Ferra was still cold. In her human life she always stationed in front of a forge, or she was dressed in layers when she was not. She hadn't been naked in front of others since her childhood, before her breasts had grown; now, being left bare made her feel vulnerable as well as generally uncomfortable. "Thank you." Ferra said quietly after Chelle arranged for her to get some clothes. While she waited for them to arrive, she picked at her food. The young blacksmith was too upset and weak to have a proper appetite but she did manage to eat the egg and gave a few nibbles to the fruit and fish.

After forcing herself to drink half of the waterskin, Ferra was finished. The discomfort of her hunger was now gone, replaced with complete and total exhaustion. By the time her clothes had arrived, Ferra was ready for sleep; she was so exhausted that she needed help to get dressed. Chelle had to steady her as she put on her kilt so that she didn't fall over, and Sasha's fingers felt as though they had weights upon them and she was unable to do the fastenings of her jerkin without help.

"May I go to sleep somewhere?" Ferra struggled to keep her eyes open, looking so small in her defeat and exhaustion. It would be hard to guess that she had been the girl to kill one of the Sapphisari warriors in her current state. Her slouched posture didn't show off the muscular upper body of a young woman who could pound metal into whatever she wished...instead it accented her soft curves and feminine legs.
 
After having watched Ferra eat, paying very little attention to the food, despite being quite hungry herself, she was too concerned with the new girls well being to worry about her own needs at the moment. Finally when the girl rose up to clothe herself, Chelle sprung up from the chair to aid the exhausted girl, standing behind her, hands placed gently upon her shoulders to keep her balanced as she slipped on the kilt, reaching around her to help with her fumblings over the fastenings of the leather jerkin. "There we go."

Taking a step back to get a look at her, now fully dressed, looking like a sapphisari, Chelle was stunned and slightly embarrassed as her heart skipped a beat and her stomach fluttered. Even in her slumped over and depressed state, the girl was beautiful. One of the few things Chelle had not yet accepted since joining the sapphisari was their choice to seek affections from eachother, still rather trapped in her human ways of thinking that only a man and a woman should lay together, even if it made sense to for an all female species. She may not have judged others for their choices here but she had comes to terms with the idea of remaining alone, no matter how lonely it seemed. So Chelle was a little more than taken aback at how attracted she was to Ferra in that moment.

"I...uhm you look..."

Quickly she turned away to hide her burning cheeks from the other girl, clearing her throat slightly "Erm, you're sleepy, oh.... well, typically a new sister is their saphress' responsibility until they've fully integrated. I'm supposed to watch over you, show you the grove, help you decide how you wish to contribute. I suppose if you need to rest uhm..." She thought a moment. "Since I need a large space to tan hides, make clothing and leathers, I have a home to myself, you could stay there but the grove is a mornings walk from here, I doubt you want to travel all that way before resting.

Glancing around the small room for anything that may be comfortable but finding nothing, she instead turned to the window again. "Do we have furs here? Our sister is weak, and tired, unable to make the walk, but I will stay with her." There was a pause as the guards sought to meet the request. Fortunately Elder Sarrell had brought some furs to rest on over night while she oversaw the rituals, and had left them behind when she departed in the morning.

After a few more moments passed, Chelle had obtained some thick furs to lay upon the hard uneven floor in the corner of the room before sitting down upon it. "Here, no one will bother you while you rest." She said gently patting the area near her.
 
Ferra wasn't sure how she felt about sharing a home with someone, especially if the homes that these creatures kept were like the structure she was in now: an open area without a walled off space for sleeping. She had shared a room when she was a child but had been used to having her own quarters since then (even though her bedroom had been very small when she was an apprentice and a tent didn't really qualify as a room). But...if these females shared homes together, she supposed that it would be good to share one with Chelle. Chelle has been very nice and very kind to you... Yes, she turned you into one of these monsters, but there must be some hierarchy in this place, some people who forced her to carry out this ritual. Despite all that had happened, she felt safe in the presence of the other woman.

The blacksmith's ears drooped even further at the mention that a place to sleep would be hours away, she was not entirely sure she could walk such a distance in her current state. Eating had taken off the pain of hunger, but her body was still sore from growing nearly a foot taller in only a night. Chelle seemed to sense her despair because she spoke again to the unseen guard and made arrangements for them to sleep in the hut. Ferra wasn't above sleeping on the floor and once the furs had been laid out on the floor, she had little hesitance about dragging her exhausted body to a spot next to Chelle.

"You should eat too..." Ferra murmured sleepily as she curled up in the soft furs. She was vaguely aware that Chelle hadn't eaten and for a moment was concerned that everything she had just consumed had been poisoned. Well, if it was poison, it couldn't have been any worse than the salve. Perhaps the other female had just been too concerned over watching Ferra, that reason seemed more likely a cause for why the other woman hadn't eaten.

"Thank you... I am still upset about my fate...but... I am grateful that you have been so kind to me since my change..." Ferra muttered as she shut her eyes, soon falling into a deep sleep on top of the furs.
 
Chelle was surprised to hear the girl, who hadn't made an effort to speak very much, point out that she should eat some as well. "o-oh...yes, I guess I'm just focused on making sure you're comfortable first, I'll eat later, the food is still there." Once it was pointed out her stomach rumbled, but she ignored it, she was far too stressed to eat anything at the moment, which alleviated slightly when the girl thanked her, much to her surprise.

"It's okay to be upset." She reassured her. "I'm here for you." Her hand reached down to gently stroke through the girls hair as Ferra quickly fell asleep.

Remaining seated, her back against the wall, her soft petting of the girl continued, until her eyes fell heavy and she too fell asleep, sharing in the smithys exhaustion.

--------------------------

The sun was high in the sky as many Sapphisari bounced around the village, preparing the funeral pyres for their lost sisters, and the large bonfire for the feast, which was being set up on the hill over looking the beautiful waterfall lake, where many swam and bathed. Naria had watched over the course of that day two knew sisters guided into the grove and shown around by one woman. She couldn't help but narrow her eyes as she peered through her door. Were either of them one of the ones who killed Akara? It was wrong to think such things but the thoughts were there regardless.

Lexa had left that morning after they awoke, but assured her she would return and take her to the feast if she still wanted. Naria assumed Lexa still had duties to the border guard, then again Akara was supposed to have swapped out with another group any day now, so it was possible Lexa too would have an entire moon cycle of free time. Would she keep her promise and stay with her for the time being? Was she simply making it known to the Matriarch where would she be? Or was she off bedding other mates?

It was so difficult to rid herself of such awful thoughts, but without Akara she felt so hopelessly lost and damaged, afraid to leave her house alone, she closed the door after having stared at one of the new sisters for long enough, turning to sit down in front of her dying fire, ears drooping as she was beginning to convince herself that she shouldn't go to the feast afterall.
 
The next morning, Lexa excused herself from Naria's company in order to run a few errands. She had to return to the barracks so that she could clean, oil, and store her leather armor for the next month. She also took the time to clean and sharpen her blade. After that, she reported to the Matriarchs to inform them that she would not be residing in the barracks this month and instead would be in Naria's hut. Lexa was supposed to be off until the next moon, but wanted to make sure that she could easily be found in this uncertain time.

By the time her chores were done, she had worked up a little bit of a sweat and so headed towards the lake so that she could cleanse herself of the blood and battle that still clung to her. Lexa was meticulous in cleaning herself, taking great care to cleanse herself thoroughly of war as she silently prayed for all who had been lost.

May the spirits of my comrades find rest in the heavens.
May the spirits of my enemies find peace in the heavens.
May the blessing of light be upon those left behind, may they remember only the brightness of the spirits who have returned to the sky.
May the blessing of water be upon me, may it wash my spirit clean of the blood I have spilt in battle.

Lexa kept repeating the prayer in her head until her heart felt lighter and she felt clean again. Once she was finished cleansing herself, she left the lake, toweling off and then dressing herself in a clean shirt and fur kilt that she had brought down with her. A few females had made a pass at her on her journey from the lake back towards Naria's hut, but Lexa had politely declined all of their advances. She had pledged herself to Naria and would not allow herself to be distracted from her duties by other females.

By the time she had gotten back to the hut, it was nearly time for the funeral. Lexa knocked softly on the door to announce herself as she opened it and entered, a frown taking up residence on her lips as she laid eyes on a very sad looking caretaker. "Naria, are you all right?" The warrior crossed the room in a few strides, kneeling down next to the other female once she reached her. Even on her knees, Lexa was nearly the same height as Naria as the petite caretaker sat in her chair.
 
By the time Lexa had returned to Naria's hut she would have found her looking incredibly forlorn, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she sat hunched over, staring hopelessly into the ashes of the now dead fire. As the warrior knelt down by her side, she slipped out of the chair and into her arms, burying her face into the womans neck, sobbing fresh tears. Today had been far worse than the night when she received the news, because she spent most of it alone thinking about how empty the rest of her life would be without Akara, realizing just how much hope and joy the other woman had given her.

"Thank you for coming back."

it was only once she had returned to the larger womans arms that she realized how much she needed her, feeling her comforting warmth against her brought a glimmer of hope. Lexa's scent was fresh as if she had just returned from the lake, which was likely the case, far different from the night prior when she was still covered in sweat of the days battle. Her hands fumbled over the womans clothes, clearly not used to her mate wearing them, both she and Akara, rarely ever wore them, with the exception of when Akara was on the front, dressed in battle leathers
It was clear Naria had remained inside the entire day, without food or drink, her fur still smelled strongly of Lexa from last night.

"i-I don't want to go outside." She had spent most of the days sun convincing herself she couldn't go to the feast even if she knew she had to pay her respects to her lost lover. "Her killer will be out there, I can't."
 
"You don't need to thank me. I will always come back for as long as I draw breath." Lexa murmured softly as she gathered up Naria into her arms. She sat down as the caretaker came down from the chair, letting her get comfortable in her lap while she held her. As Naria sobbed and spoke, Lexa was quiet for a moment, racking her brain as she tried to figure out what to say to the grieving widow. It was difficult for her to want to go to the feast as well, her mentor had passed after all...but she knew that she would regret not paying respects to the dead more than anything else. "Naria... I know that it is difficult right now....but, if you don't go, if you don't say goodbye, you will regret it for the rest of your days." The warrior began to rub the caretaker's arms and shoulders, trying to ease away some of her sadness with a soothing touch.

"In the defense of our new sisters, they were all very frightened. They were all in a party of mercenaries, they were all trained to avoid capture and to fight for their lives..." Lexa sighed as she remembered her own training and her own passage into the tribe....she had been part of a small squadron that had become separated from the main army during a snowstorm. The group had mistakenly wandered too close to the grove and had been ambushed by Sapphisari warriors...the fight that had ensued had been quite bloody. "I...I killed a warrior before I was captured, I am also the reason that Kesi walks with a limp. I carry the guilt for killing and maiming two of my clan every day and so will our new sister. Her soul will suffer enough without your anger to help it."

Lexa rubbed Naria's back gently and then kissed the top of her head. "Do not let your own spirit twist itself up with sadness and hatred...I do not wish you to be burdened with such feelings and I know Akara wouldn't want you to either. She would want you to have a chance to say goodbye, to have just a little bit of closure, and then to celebrate her life and the lives she brought into this tribe at the festival, don't you agree?" Lexa pulled away, just a little bit so that she could look Naria in the eyes. "I will be by your side for the entire ceremony, you do not have to do this alone, Naria."
 
Lexa was right of course about regretting it, if she didn't go say her good byes, it wouldn't be fair to Akara's spirit or her memory if she remained hidden in their home. Naria nuzzled her, hugging the large woman close, soft content purrs emanating from her throat.

There was a long pause after Lexa admitted to killing one of their own when she had had been first captured. "I know." Naria said, finally. Akara was the one to take her under her wing after all, making her the Sapphisari warrior she was today, so ofcourse she knew all about Lexa's arrival to the tribe, but that didn't mean she ever wanted to bring it up. This was where the taboo made the most sense, in Lexa's case especially. The guilt would be overbearing if they were constantly reminded about it, and this way any of those who came after Lexa, would never know of her past, just as many sisters after today would never know what the arrival of these new sisters had brought, or those of whom were lost.

Naria knew she was being selfish, that of all the times she would want to place blame, it would be when someone she was close to was killed, any other time she would preach forgiveness and echo the words of the elders, that no sister was responsible for a humans actions. She felt so stupid that she could not let go of the burning anger she felt within.

Several more moments of silence passed them by, the light from the sun growing more distant, before finally pulling her head from the womans shoulder, sniffling quietly. "You're right, I need to say goodbye, we both do, and I am glad to have you at my side." Her stomach gave a low growl, reminding her that she hadn't eaten anything or drank any water that day. "Some food might do me some good too, and perhaps a dance." Her ears perked up as she forced a smile, while rising to her feet, reaching to take Lexa's hand.

"Shall we go?"
 
For a moment Lexa wondered if she had overstepped a line; she knew that the taboo was in place for a reason, that it helped keep people like her safe...but she had thought that if she revealed her own burdens that perhaps Naria would be able to more easily empathize and show some mercy towards their new sisters. After what seemed like forever, the caretaker spoke up and revealed that she already knew about her past. The warrior let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding and relaxed. Naria knew the worst thing about Lexa and didn't hate her for it, maybe they could forge a relationship after all.

"You need to remember to take care of yourself." Lexa kissed Naria's temple after she heard the caretaker's stomach growl. She wondered if the other female had moved at all today... Probably not...she smells of fire and me still. She must have been sitting by the fire for most of the day. Lexa made a mental note to be more vigilant of Naria's activity and eating habits while she was in this period of mourning. She had heard stories of lovers that would let themselves waste away, too depressed to take care of themselves after their mate had gone. Lexa didn't want such a thing to happen to Naria, she did not think Akara's spirit would be very happy with her if she allowed the widow to will herself to death.

"I would be honored to share a dance with you after dinner." Lexa smiled and reached for Naria's extended hand. She got up and smoothed out her kilt, then offered her arm to the other female. Part of Lexa's training had included etiquette and so the Sapphisari easily played the role of chivalrous knight, even in this new life.

------

Lexa was glad that the feast was being prepared at the top of a hill so that she could not smell the delicious foods that would surely be there. Part of her ritual of cleansing included fasting for a day and so the warrior felt as though she was starving. Sometime during their walk towards the pyres, Lexa had released Naria. She wasn't quite certain if the widow wanted to be seen taking comfort from her. It wasn't odd for Sapphisari to find comfort in one another in these difficult times but Lexa didn't want their sisters to think that she was preying upon a mourning widow. When they approached the pyres she stayed close to Naria, offering her arm to the female if she wanted it. They stopped first by Persephone and Nahl' pyres, offering their respects to the fallen warriors before moving to the pyre where Akara's body lay amongst unlit wood.
 
After paying their respects to Persephone and Nahl, Naria knelt down at the base of the pyre, glancing up toward Akara's body, tears welling up in her eyes. The others were already preparing to burn them and send them to the skies, but she wasn't ready. "My love..." She pleaded desperately, realizing she was not prepared to see her lovers body in this state, she had half a mind to climb up there with her so she could burn as well. It may have even been a real consideration if it wasn't for Lexa. The strong warrior had grounded her somewhat, giving her a reason to continue, a glimmer of hope to look forward to. The emptiness in her belly did not help the sick feeling overwhelming her, but she remained stationary, tears falling to the grass as the pyres were lit, a soft melody played on a lute stolen from humans years ago echoed out over the crowds to honor the dead. As the fire spread, the tune took a shift into a more upbeat melody to honor the new sisters that had joined them.

While the pyres burned, Naria remained knelt, dangerously close to the burning flame, ears drooped, staring hopelessly up into the sky, straining her eyes to see a glimpse of Akara's spirit, something, any sign that she was at peace, but she saw nothing but the dim glow and smoke which blotted out the stars and felt the heat licking at her fur. Just when it seemed one may have to intervene to pull her out of her haze, Naria rose to her feet, approaching Lexa through the thinning crowd, as most were now looking to dance or eat, or greet the new sisters that were there, which were only two, for now, the others still clearly needed more time, even the two who were there seemed lost, and confused.

The naked caretaker pressed herself against Lexa's form amidst the crowd, leaning in to nuzzle and kiss her neck, rising up on her toes so she could whisper into her ear. "Thank you, for being here, " her tone was soft and empty. "I'm going to go get us some food and drink, wait for me." It was clear she wanted to do this alone, judging by the sound of her voice, and there were many who still looked eager to approach her and offer their condolences.

"Excuse me. A word." A shrill voice spoke from behind Lexa as Naria stepped away. Behind Lexa was a very tall and slender woman, with snow white fur lacking any spots or stripes, topless, but dressed in a low hanging fur kilt which concealed her tail. Aelissia one of the tribes healers who was nearing her hundred and tenth summer, but was still quite appealing to the eyes. She was known to have two steady mates, Salaena, who was even older than she was, and Raelis who was a warrior from the eastern border, who had joined the tribe two summers ago, the last to join before Chelle, and known for her cocky behavior. Raelis' physique was more similar to Lexa's, so it was no mystery why Aelissia would show sexual interest in someone young and strong like Raelis after being with a woman older than herself for nearly a century.

"What Naria needs right now is stability and comfort. Someone should be warming her bed, but I do not think it should be you. I know what you are doing." Her tone was sharp and accusational. "Akara was your mentor yes? Is it true she was also your Sapphress, the one who made you one of us?" Aelissia did not know if this was true, she rarely paid attention to those things any more, but it would make sense. "If so I could see why you would be devoted to her, and perhaps even obsessed with her widow, but the last thing Naria needs right now is a brute who changes beds every night. I imagine you see her as easy prey don't you? Forbidden fruit who is now ripe for the picking?" Her eyes narrowed while she sipped from the clay cup in her hand.
 
Lexa stood a few steps behind Naria as the caretaker knelt down by the pyre. The warrior was hesitant about having the female so close to where the flames would soon be but she held her spot. Rather than intervene outright, she prayed silently for Akara to watch over her mate, to give the caretaker hope and strength in this time of sadness. Eventually, Naria let her breathe again by getting up and coming away from the growing fire.

A small smile was offered to the caretaker as she approached. "You are very strong," the warrior murmured. A weaker woman would have refused to come, a weaker woman would have tossed herself into the flame. Naria was willing to push through the pain and continue on in this life. As the smaller woman pressed up against her, Lexa opened her arms and enveloped her in a hug. She planted a kiss to the top of the female's head and then released her so that she could do as she will. "As you wish." Lexa gave a short bow to signal that she would obey Naria's request. She would stay by the pyres and talk to some of the warriors who were still in the immediate area. They would surely recount tales of Nahl, Persephone, and Akara's bravery.

Unfortunately her plans were put on hold as she heard a shrill voice from behind her, causing her ears to twitch.

"Aelissia, what can I do for you?" Lexa showed deference to her elders as she had been brought up to do, but as the older caretaker continued to speak, Lexa's features began to harden. "Yes, Akara was my Sapphress, the elders thought it would be best for me to be changed by another warrior...." As Aelissia continued to twist Lexa's noble intentions into something ugly, the border guard's ears flattened and her eyes narrowed. She wasn't a brute! Yes, her hands were balled into fists and the muscles in her body had tensed as though she was preparing to launch herself at Aelissia...but that didn't make her a brute! She had control of herself and her temper! And yes, she had shared the beds of many a Sapphisari, but she would not do so any longer! Pledging herself to Naria and taking care of the caretaker was going to give her purpose so that she wouldn't have to find fulfillment in meaningless sex.

"How dare you dishonor Akara's memory and insult me with your idle gossip!" Lexa growled, the fur on the back of her neck and her shoulders standing on end in irritation. "I do not prey upon women and have not lured Naria into any sort of trap. She may do with me as she desires. If she needs company, I will give it to her. If she needs warmth at night, I will provide it. And if she so wishes to take her pleasure from me, I will willingly give it. If she does not wish for any of those things then I will not force myself on her, and I will accept the celibacy as punishment for letting my mentor fall."
 
The older woman quirked a brow, pursing her lips as if the contents of her drink had been sour. "Hmph, you should dispose of your human sense of oaths and chivalry, one would think you'd know better by now, and don't be so nonsensically foolish to swear celibacy if she refuses you. You're young, and strong. I fear the day when I become too old to take pleasure in another sharing my furs. We sapphisari do not fare as well as humans without such comforts. Do not deny yourself something we all need out of some dated human sense of knightship." It had seemed that Lexa's reaction was not one she expected, instead of further efforts of suggesting she leave Naria alone, she was concerned with Lexa's naive vows. "Maybe...your intentions aren't so ill conceived as I first believed, and now I'm the one coming off as confro-ah Naria!"

Aelissia turned, greeting the caretaker who was carrying a large tray made of bark, which was covered in a vast display of delicious smelling foods, and some cups of nectar. "I was just offering Lexa, my condolences, and I should do the same to you. I am so, so sorry my child. I still remember your first breaths as a Sapphisari, and how out of place you seemed for so long until she came to us, and you, you finally seemed whole and truly happy. She will be missed, but she will be ever watching."

"Thank you Aelissia, your words are cherished, as always." whispered Naria, bowing her head as Aelissia bowed low before pulling away from them both.

"I best find Salaena and Raelis, enjoy the feast, this isn't just a night of sadness after all, death and rebirth, we must always celebrate." Aelissia smiled, before turning away and disappearing into the crowd.

"She is always so kind and thoughtful." Said Naria before glancing down to the large helping of food in her hands. "Come, let's go sit by the falls where it's quiet." She added, leaning in to brush against her affectionately, before leading her away from the feast, to the very edge of the lake, where the mist of the falls hung low, shielding them from view of the rest of the tribe as they sat down on the soft grass to enjoy the meal together.
 
The border guard's eyes stayed narrowed as Aelissia continued to speak. She would not listen to a civilian preach to her about oaths and chivalry; in her mind, without either, there was nothing to keep a warrior from turning to a barbarian. Lexa's oaths were what kept her loyal to her tribe. Her honor and sense of duty were what would make her stand her ground and protect her sisters, even against impossible odds. Her chivalry was what kept her from using her strength to overpower and manipulate physically weaker females.

Naria's presence helped soothe the tension...but Lexa once again bristled at just the utterance of Raelis' name. If ever there was an example of someone who did not believe in oaths and chivalry, Raelis was it. While Lexa got along with most people, her and Raelis constantly butted heads. Their inability to work together without fighting had gotten the point that they were never scheduled to be in the same patrols together. Even when they were on their breaks they would give each other a wide berth in the grove....which would explain why Aelissia had come to harass her on her own without the assistance of her younger mate. Thankfully the older female was going to leave to find her mate, leaving Lexa and Naria alone to enjoy their meal.

"Mrrph." Lexa grunted, not agreeing with Naria's assessment that Aelissia was always kind and thoughtful. She didn't wish to argue the matter though and pushed it from her mind. Instead, she focused on the caretaker who had brought them delicious looking food. The warrior's gut was growling from her fast and she was eager to share a meal with the beautiful caretaker. Lexa took a seat in the dewy grass, close enough to Naria so that their legs touched as they settled down to eat.

"Some in the tribe believe that I am preying upon you." Lexa frowned. Despite the food and the good company, she hadn't been able to push Aelissia's words completely from her mind. Surely more rumors would start after tonight and that was what was upsetting the guard. She really was going to try to stay loyal to Naria and just Naria. "I know that I have no record monogamy....and I have my own reasons for that... but I am going to try my best to resist the pull I feel towards others. I promise to confess any transgressions, I just...I do not want you to worry that I am of bedding some other female because others are whispering that I am."
 
Once the food was set down upon the soft dew covered grass next to Lexa, Naria slid herself into Lexa's lap comfortably, while reaching lazily to the food to pick up a piece of fish, lifting it above her to the warriors mouth.

"Who believes that?" She said blinking up at her in surprise. "Did Aelissia say something?" Inquired the caretaker as she remembered the two had been speaking before she returned and Lexa had seemed tense in that moment but did not make the connection because her own feelings were consumed with Akara. "If she did, I am sorry, she was my Sapphress many, many moons ago, she also taught me everything I know here, I wouldn't be surprised if she was being protective of me."

She continued to look up at her from her comfortable position laying in the strong warriors lap as the woman spoke of faithfulness and monogamy. Had what ever was said affected her so much? Or did this have to do with her loyalty to her mentor? "Lexa...I can't expect you to change your desires and restrict your bedding habits for me. We haven't even..." She paused, not entirely sure what she had expected to say. It was clear that they had sought for comfort from each other and intended to explore it further here, but did that mean she expected Lexa to be only hers, like Akara was? Reaching up to cup the womans cheek, her expression soft, "I don't want you to make any promises, you might regret later. I...I need you Lexa. I don't care if others think you are preying on me, we need each other right now, if it wasn't for you I would have hurled myself in the funeral pyre. you were wrong about me, I'm not strong, Akara was, but not me, she was my strength...and...and now I need yours."

Turning over in her lap, the sapphisari, climbed up Lexa's body while pushing her down onto the soft grass, pressing herself against her body before leaning in to kiss her lips.
 
When food was offered to her, Lexa leaned forward, delicately taking the piece of fish from Naria's fingertips. As the other female prodded her with the question of who had said something to her, the warrior bit her bottom lip, not sure of if she should reveal names or not. She supposed that since the caretaker had guessed the person she could give a little nod. "You do not need to apologize for her...I understand she is worried for you." The warrior gave a gentle nuzzle to Naria's temple, trying to show that she was alright despite all of Alessia's accusations.

Lexa's ears drooped at the mention of Akara's name. The funeral had made everything so final... Of course her relationship to the deceased warrior had not been as close as Naria's but Akara and Lexa had been on many patrols together. Akara had not only been her mentor but a close friend... it caused her immense sadness to know that she would not see Akara around the village or the next month when she went back on patrol. Having Naria with her was a good distraction from the despair, the purpose she felt by taking on the duty of consoling the widow had her spirit feeling a little lighter. "You have suffered enough. I do not wish cause you more stress by pursuing other women." Lexa said firmly. She was going to be stubborn with her pledge. The warrior was a very physical person, but she could put her carnal desires aside in the name of loyalty and duty.

Strong hands came to rest on Naria's hips, helping to steady the female so that she didn't fall out of her lap as she moved. Lexa had only been thinking that Naria was trying to get comfortable but as she pushed her back, the warrior gave a soft hum of surprise. As their lips connected, a shiver ran through her body, one that wasn't entirely caused by the soft, cool grass tickling the parts of her body that weren't covered in clothes. Instinctively her muscular arms came to wrap around the petite form that lay ontop of her, holding the caretaker close to her as she deepened the kiss, exploring Naria's lips and mouth with her tongue.
 
Naria's tail coiled around Lexa's as the kiss deepened, her tongue flicking eagerly against the other. The strong arms holding her close made her feel safe, warm and loved which served to fuel the needy kiss. Her bare chest pressed up hard against Lexa's concealed breasts, one dainty hand reaching around to pull helplessly at the jerkin, which would not budge in their current position.

The night previous they held eachother in comfort, but tonight was different. Saddness had been consuming them both and the only hope of suppressing it was passion and pleasure. It had already been thirty days since she last made love, she was feeling needy before Akara's unfortunate passing, and yet the guilt of her actions swelled within as her tongue lashed against the warriors. Pushing herself and kissing another woman after her deceased lovers funeral? It seemed so awful, and yet she knew those were human fears. Akara would understand, just as anyone else would if they saw the pair together, but these thoughts did not ease her guilt.

Her lips parted from Lexa's as she peered deep into her eyes panting softly as she recovered from their brief but firey embrace, yet she remained pressed up against her, her hands pulling away from the jerkin to carress her face. "I hate this." She whispered softly before burying her face against the womans neck. "I can't help but feel I'm betraying her by doing this. I know it's not true...but I've never been with another...I..." Her tongue dragged across her neck in an effort to show that it wasn't Lexa, but her own guilt that caused the kiss to end prematurely. "I do need you." She said again, nuzzling her, arms wrapping around her neck. "How do you do it? How had you been able to change beds so easily?" There was no accusation in her voice, it was more of a need, a longing to have the same abilty to move on as Lexa had shown in the past, and yet attachment meant everything to her, she didn't want to just move on from one lover to the next, she hungered for that connection.
 
Slowly but surely the tension that Lexa seemed to constantly carry in her entire body melted away. The battle against so many humans had left her on edge and the loss of her mentor had put a great weight of sadness on her shoulders. Having a lovely female ontop of her and giving her physical comfort was a wonderful distraction from all the trials of the last few days. As soon as Naria abruptly pulled away from their kiss though, she stiffened right back up. Her brow furrowed in confusion and she opened her mouth, ready to apologize for going too far, for kissing and touching the grieving widow too aggressively, but Naria cut her off with an explanation.

"Akara would never think that of you," The guard murmured soothingly as her hands traded their holding place for some consolatory rubs over the bare expanse of Naria's back. She knew Akara would never have wanted to see her mate in such pain; surely she wouldn't have begrudged either of them for taking comfort in each other. "I am sorry...I did not realize you had only ever been with her. We can wait...I do not want to make you do something you do not feel ready for."

"I..." Lexa paused, trying to choose her words carefully because her situation was more complex than it seemed. Yes, she was known for changing beds often, but it wasn't because she had some grand libido that drove her to blindly mate with anything with a pulse. Lexa wasn't an animal; she had her needs, just like everyone else (perhaps even a few more because she was such a physical person)...but she never ever had preyed upon one of her sisters or had led them on. "I do not like to get attached. In my human life I was taken away from my family and enlisted in the military very young as a Page. As I grew I was moved from squad to squad, marched from town to town. Planting roots anywhere was a waste... Now I am here and even though I have a home, I do not choose a mate because I travel for so many days. I do not wish to worry about someone when I need to maintain a clear head on the borders...and I do not want anyone to worry about me either, I do not want to cause the pain that losing Akara has caused you."

Lexa smiled sadly and gave Naria a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. "Your profession requires you to worry and care for others, I do not think you have it in you to treat sex in the same way that I do. And that is fine Naria, truly, I will wait until you are ready. I am content to merely hold you, your presence is very calming for me in this time of sadness."
 
"I mean...she's the only sapphisari that I-we had been together since she joined us over thirteen summers ago. There were human men I was forced to serve...but" she trailed off knowing that it was not a topic she wanted to dwell on. "I don't count any of that... so yes, as far as my life here goes, she was the only." She paused again, willing herself not to burst into tears. She had done her share of crying, Lexa did not need a heap of a woman sobbing on top of her, not now.

As she was kissed on the nose she forced a smile, leaning in to nip at her lips again. "You're afraid to get too attached to someone...like I had with Akara." She bit her lip nervously. Her first instinct was to argue that keeping people at an arms distance sounded lonely, and yet she could not muster the words because she knew the pain Lexa seemed intent on avoiding. What would happen if she and Lexa fell in love and years down the line, she was killed defending the forest just like Akara? The thought alone was horrible but she wouldn't trade all of the time spent with her beloved for anything, even if it meant ridding herself of this pain.

"Keeping distance from others to avoid pain means you avoid love, is it worth it?" The caretaker kissed the womans chin, and continued to plant soft kisses along her neck, and chest, while tugging needily at her leather jerkin again to signal that she wanted Lexa to take it off. "Spend this moon cycle with me, thirty days and nights, share my furs. I want to know you. I don't care if there's a risk. You seem a very noble woman, I want to explore you, body-" she kissed her exposed cleavage . "-and mind."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom