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You're Like a Song Stuck in My Head [FxF] (Clearsight X Javorcek)

Something about Tessa’s high pitched sounds of pleasure made Alex melt into a puddle of arousal. Maybe it was because she knew that this signaled the peak of her pleasure; even surpassing her usual orgasms. Maybe because it was such a subby noise...high and needy and absolutely music to a Domme’s ears. Maybe it was because Tessa grew so embarrassed by them; a pretty blush always coloring her pet’s cheeks and ears whenever Alex made her lose control of her voice.

Whatever it was, it made Alex lose it every time.

Once she heard that sound, Alex made it her mission to draw that out of her girlfriend until her voice was raw. She would fuck, finger, and lick her delicious pet until she couldn’t take it anymore...and even then, Alex would pin her with strong hands and softly whisper that she was a good girl and would take ‘just one more’...which would invariably become at least two or three more.

When she finally tired herself out of her manic state, Alex became the usual cuddly, fussing Domme that Tessa was used to seeing after a scene. As tough and standoffish as she could be, Alex was a total softie when it came to her beloved pet. And she didn’t care who knew either! Even if she got teased by less caring Donmes at the club, Alex knew she had a happy, healthy pet. After getting rid of all the gear, she rubbed soothing lotions into her lover’s bright red skin, very tenderly kissed and licked any body part she had been mean to, even got up to get them both water before they settled down to sleep. Even then she didn’t fall asleep right away, instead staying awake and idly petting her sub until she heard the other girl’s breathing change to signal that she was out and Alex could go to bed too.

——————

“You want me to -what-?!” Alex blinked. She couldn’t have heard that right. Tessa wanted her to pretend to be straight for the first night or two at her parents’? Her? The woman who sometimes danced on the butchier side of the lesbian spectrum with her love of packing and boxer briefs? The woman who had more flannel than any one person should be allowed?! (Sure, she was Canadian, but there was still a lot of flannel in her closet).

With a sinking feeling in her chest, she sighed and gave a slight nod. This was Tessa’s coming out story; Alex would help her get to the end of it however she could...even if the writing of it pained her.

——————-

A few days before their trip, Alex made plans to hang out with their friends. Tessa was running some sort of errand or something but said she’d come by if she had the time. For now, the singer sat with just her two friends, Miranda and Jack at a little hole in the wall breakfast place in the city.

Jack was a performer / instructor at Club Bound while she worked on her masters’ degree in education and school counseling. She was very much like Alex: Domme, tattooed, tomboy, no family. Having grown up in the foster system, came with quite a bit of her own baggage as well. While more crass than Alex, they were both soft and squishy on the inside...though both women would be loath to admit it.

Miranda was the CEO for some biotech company. Gorgeous, rich, smart, and terrifying in the business world... she was actually Jack’s sub/fiancé.

Yeah. Alex still didn’t understand what a millionaire from exceptional breeding was doing with a poor bondage expert who just wanted to go legit and teach kids...but it worked for them. They seemed happy anyways.

“So, ah...I need a favor. I’m going to meet Tessa’s family and she wants me to...act straight? And we might go to this gala thing. Really ritzy kind of deal- hey- damnit what’s so funny?!?”

Jack had immediately burst into laughter before her friend could finish speaking. The idea of Alex being anywhere that wasn’t a hole in the wall bar or a rock show absolutely hilarious. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Phew...just, yanno, thought of you in a dress and heels.” Jack snickered, but then grew a little more serious. “Are you sure you should go? I mean...considering how well you fit into the closet before...?”

Alex sighed. No. She wasn’t sure. Especially now with this new condition. “She wants to come out...but she also misses them. So I guess she wants to be able to visit and have a few nice memories in case they explode. I’m guessing anyways, I don’t actually know. But it’s five days.” Alex shrugged. Five days didn’t seem so bad in the grand scheme of things. “Anyways...I was wondering if you could help me pick out clothes, Miranda. Cause you’re into fashion and stuff.”
 
Tessa's night with Alex went about the way she expected. It started unconventionally, with the brutal spanking, but it ended as usual, with Alex losing her ability to think rationally with the slightest provocation. It just so happened that the provocation was Tessa's subby noises, which was humiliating but bearable.

It helped Tessa's mood that she loved when Alex lost herself, going at it like a beast; it made her feel like she had some power. Of course, it was a power with only one purpose, driving her girlfriend wild, but she wouldn't trade it for anything.

She particularly loved what came after a wild fuck, which was gentle aftercare. As much as she loved being fucked until she passed out, she had grown quite fond of the gentle embrace she could earn if she lasted long enough for Alex to regain control. It was something she only grew to like more the longer they were together.

Unfortunately, the next day was nowhere near as pleasant.

---

Tessa barely remembered the early part of her day. Somehow she woke up early, wincing through the pain as she slipped out of bed and went to make herself the strongest cup of coffee she could. It all went downhill from there.

In a good mood, Tessa texted her family, unmuting the group chat she banished a week ago and sending her first message since confirming she would be there for Christmas.

'I'm bringing someone, so add another person for any reservations.'

It was a simple line of text, but it set off a chain reaction that ruined her morning. It wasn't so bad at first. In fact, her parents simply said okay and asked who it was. Tessa's cousins were the ones who turned it into a big deal.

After learning that Tessa was bringing someone, they started going on about how it had to be a boyfriend. Thinking she was clever, Tessa said it was a girl, not saying friend so as not to imply that they were "just friends." At the time, she was still confident in what she was going to do.

A few hours passed after that, with texts going out left and right. Somehow, despite being so far away, they made her feel like she was back in high school in a matter of hours. She felt... small.

Tessa's entire aura dimmed, her eyes growing dull and her expression falling to something akin to expressionless.

It wasn't even the fact that her cousins kept asking if she was a lesbian, hitting the nail right on the head as they made their jokes. It was the way everyone acted, from her parents to her extended family. Nothing changed, not in five years. Her life changed, sure, but the moment she spoke to them, she somehow became the useless, lackluster, nerdy girl that nobody paid attention to. She became the girl who just wanted someone to notice how she felt.

She barely even remembered asking Alex if they could pretend to be straight when they first got there. It felt wrong, but she didn't have the energy to take it back.

---

Miranda spent her morning chewing on her thoughts. Normally, she spoke her mind without a care, but that wasn't the case that morning. As she sat at the table with her lover and their friend, she actually hesitated, which she hated!

Fortunately, she spent a bit of time poking the bear, which meant teasing Jack when Alex wasn't paying attention. At every opportunity, she distracted herself, trying her best to keep her mouth shut. Only, the thought didn't last long.

The moment Alex mentioned Tessa's family, Miranda grit her teeth. She had already heard about what was going on, not from Alex or Tessa but from some of her friends back home.

Why the hell did she have to be such good friends with them? She rarely made friends, and now she remembered why. Tessa always was a pain in the ass.

"Asking you to act straight is pretty amusing," Miranda agreed with her fiancé, a slight grin on her face.

In truth, Alex was gorgeous. She rarely went feminine, but that didn't mean she couldn't make it work. She would just have to play to her strengths, like her wild side. Tessa would love that too.

Miranda's mind wandered for a second before she looked back at Alex and sighed, tempted to groan when she heard Alex mention the trip again.

"Yeah, I can help you pick out some clothes... but you may want to know what you're getting yourself into." Miranda hated gossiping. It always made her feel ridiculous. Still, everything she was about to say was true, so she convinced herself with that.

She turned to Jack and narrowed her eyes, a reminder not to say anything about what she was going to hear. They were good that way, with Miranda needing to complain sometimes and Jack knowing some really important stuff that she shouldn't know.

After making sure that they had entered their "cone of silence," Miranda turned back to Alex. "I'm guessing Tessa never speaks about when she was younger, at least nothing specific."

Miranda hated it; she hated it so much. "Ugh, well, whatever. We went to school together. We weren't exactly friends back then, but we knew each other from events and parties. I also saw her at school, and, well, she wasn't the same person back then, Alex."

It was true that they weren't great friends back then. Honestly, nobody was. Tessa was a loner, someone who showed no interest in others and rarely talked unless it was to her few really close friends. Back then, everyone saw her as a quiet, shy, and awkward girl, pretty but impossible to approach.

Only, the way she acted at school was only half of it. With Tessa's parents always working or building connections, Tessa was left at the wayside. Sometimes her aunt would watch her, but that only meant being pushed around by her cousins. She never broke out of her shell, at least, not until she went off to college and met Alex.

Miranda told Alex what she knew, including how Tessa always seemed to lack confidence when it came to her family.

"She really loves her parents, Alex, even if they never noticed her." They still didn't. In fact, if she had to guess, things wouldn't go that easily for Tessa this time when she returned. She was growing older, after all, at least in their elitist world.

"Just... I think you should go into it confidently instead of trying to dress to impress. You're already going to have enough to deal with before putting on a dress. If anything, let's get you a dress and something you'll feel comfortable in with it. You can decide once you get there and see how she's acting.

She felt so gross after talking behind Tessa's back, but she didn't regret it. Miranda liked the new Tessa, and she liked Tessa and Alex together even more. Besides, it was hard to find another interesting couple to be friends with.
 
Alex probably knew more about Miranda’s childhood than Tessa’s. The majority of it wasn’t actually through the older woman; it was through Jack who used to panic that she wasn’t good enough to be anything more than a Domme for Miranda. The prep schools, the private tutors, the vacations in the Alps or safaris in Africa...the insane amounts of money Miranda herself had. It had been difficult for Jack to accept that Miranda wanted more from her than just a Domme, and so Jack often poured out her concerns to fellow undesirable/Domme, Alex.

Of course all of Miranda’s funds were only a fraction compared to her father’s empire. Mr. Lawton had been in the news recently for his donation of millions to the Trump campaign, presumably so they would look the other way as he conducted his less than ethical bio research. ‘A drop in the bucket’ Miranda had said in disgust.

But Miranda had broken free of all of that. The special interest groups, the dirty money, the unethical and unsustainable research that her father had been conducting. Everything she had now was of her own making.

Putting Tessa’s family wealth in that sort of perspective made Alex totally understand why Jack had been a panicky mess when her relationship with Miranda evolved. Hell, now she was starting to panic! If Tessa had gone to the same prep school as Miranda, they had probably had very similar upbringings. In her naïveté she had just sort of expected Tessa to be six-figure rich....not seven, eight or nine. Alex could contend with the former...but any of the latter wasn’t going to happen.

And of course, of course the only way to deal with this was through ‘confidence’. Great. Awesome.

Normally Alex was a very confident person. She performed in front of crowds without batting an eye, did interviews without any sort of stress, had the confidence to flirt and pick up women without fear or being shot down. People liked her for her; either her looks or her personality....and she supposed that made it very easy to be confident.

But to be herself with these conservative government people? And be confident while doing it? That was going to be a problem.

——————————-

It turned out that Alex needed a very large wardrobe makeover.

Apparently skinny black jeans, a t-shirt with an open flannel or jacket, and a slouchy toque weren’t going to cut it this winter.

It was decided that she would take out a few of the piercings in her ears so that she only had simple studs in her lobes. Long sleeves were also a must in order to hide Alex’s many tattoos. Miranda found her several cute tops and sweaters that didn’t deter too sharply from the singer’s style...but they definitely made her look more mature and less carefree.

“I feel like a nun” Alex grumbled as she tugged at the stupid stylish collar of one of the outfits Miranda was making her try on. When the other woman swatted at her hand Alex huffed. “Awfully pushy for a sub.”

“That’s why you’re the amateur and I’m the pro” Jack smirked as she pinched Miranda’s perfect rear end.

——————-

“How is this stilllllllll happeniiinnnngggg?” Jack whined as they entered what felt like the 50th store. She hated shopping with Miranda. Hated it. Would light all these stores on fire if she could. Every store her fiancé picked was some high end place where at least one floor person would tail Jack, obviously trying to make sure she didn’t steal something.

Not that she would wear any of the shit in these places anyways.

She had lasted an impressive amount of time for the sake of Alex...and now she didn’t know if Miranda was doing this to them because she knew she’d get punished later for it or because it was absolutely necessary. “I can’t take it anymore. Call me when you’re done. I’m just going to walk around stores where they don’t watch me like I’m a fucking criminal.” Jack said the last part loud enough so the salesperson definitely heard. Then she grabbed Miranda and kissed her more intensely than was appropriate for such an establishment before heading out.
 
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Miranda's intimate knowledge of the snobby elite rarely came in handy unless she needed to attend a function, so having the chance to put it to use was nice. Then again, she had come to terms with where she came from a long time ago, unlike Tessa.

Her situation was different. After all, her father was evil incarnate. With a father like that, Miranda found it easy to detach and put distance between them. Her sister made it a little more difficult, but she also disliked their father, so everything was fine. On the other hand, Tessa's parents weren't as bad. In fact, they were quite nice, though the same couldn't be said of her extended family.

"Tessa's entire family is conservative, and while her parents aren't so bad, her extended family are blood-sucking parasites, like so many others in the circle." Miranda chuckled, seeming amused by that fact instead of disturbed.

She had grown more talkative as they shopped, somehow becoming more comfortable giving Alex advice about what to expect at Tessa's parents while also giving her clothing advice. It seemed to fit.

She would give her a few tips on how people would act, then show her an outfit. She seemed to come alive while shopping, definitely resembling a woman with no qualms about buying anything and everything that caught her eye.

"Also, while you won't be expected to know the proper etiquette, try not to talk much while eating unless you are asked a question, and make sure you swallow and wipe your mouth before responding." Miranda acted as if she were talking to a lip-smacking barbarian.

"This is cute..." She would also occasionally mutter things as they shopped that had nothing to do with the impending holiday madness, but she always returned to the topic at hand soon after.

However, she got distracted by a handsy Jack a few times as well, something she always dealt with swiftly, giving her eyes that promised a reward if she were good. After all, even if Jack was the dominant one between them, she had never been the type to back down. If anything, Jack's pestering was the reason she decided to drag it out. A long shopping trip was good for more than clothes and educating Alex on the intricacies of the hell to come, after all.

In fact, it was only after Jack finally lost her cool that Miranda slowed down, smirking as her lover left and then turning to look at Alex.

"You know, Tessa wasn't always so bright and starry-eyed. That only started when she met you." Miranda took on a more serious tone as she reached out to snag another piece of clothing that Alex would never wear if given a choice.

"Back in high school, she was quiet, a real loner. Her best friend went abroad, and she retreated into herself." There was some bullying too, but that never seemed to bother Tessa, so she didn't mention it. What really concerned her was how powerless Tessa seemed.

In school, she always had her eyes down, scribbling in a notebook, and at functions, she let her parents drag her around. While she knew now that Tessa was writing compositions and lyrics, back then, it had seemed so lonely. No, it was lonely. Tessa was a lonely person, of that Miranda had no doubt. No matter where she was, her thoughts and personality never seemed to peek out beyond the scribbles she put to paper.

Miranda knew about having a lonely childhood, but she had learned early that her father's love was something she would never have. Tessa craved her parents' attention, though, and that meant quietly letting them plan things for her just so they would look her way.

They had a plan, and she usually followed it. However, her decision to join the band and subsequently falling in love with Alex definitely didn't fit into that plan. Those were things Tessa had decided for herself.

"She has wanted their attention since she was a child, but she loves you. Even if this trip ends up being an awful experience, you will be able to relieve one of the biggest burdens of her entire life by just staying with her until the end."

Miranda hated being all emotional, even if it really wasn't that emotional a moment as she kept shopping while speaking. Still, she felt a need to defend her own image. "It's hard to make decent friends, so don't go messing things up for me."

Still not great, but she meant it. Out of all of her and Jack's friends, they both liked Tessa and Alex the most. Otherwise, she wouldn't have said anything, especially since she already knew Alex would stick by Tessa's side. After all, there was no way that Alex would follow and listen to her all day if she weren't prepared and willing to take on what was to come.
 
“-One- time I devour a two hundred dollar steak and now I can never live it down.” Alex rolled her eyes at Miranda’s good natured nagging. To celebrate and announce her proposal to Jack, Miranda had taken them all out to the Old Homestead. Alex had never had wagyu beef before and had absolutely demolished a steak...much to Miranda’s horror and Tessa’s fit of giggles. Having lived on the street and spending three years of her life perpetually hungry, Alex had a much different relationship with food than her friends. She ate fast (especially if it was good) and used her elbows on the table to leverage her silverware. Tessa had been trying to break her of those habits with gentle reminders at nicer restaurants...but if Alex had a grinder in her hands, all bets were off. Hopefully there were no good sandwich shops in Tessa’s hometown.

She listened with close attention as Miranda talked about what she should expect and how Tessa had been as a kid growing up. Knowing that Tessa was more out of her shell made her preen and grin like a love struck idiot. She did that! Tessa was a pain in the ass dork because of -her.- “Just so you know...Jack’s been pretty good for you too. You used to be a pretentious Ice queen...now you’re just a pretentious asshole,” the brunette teased.

Miranda had been very difficult to bond with in the beginning. In fact there would have been a time when Alex would have begged Jack to stay and not leave her alone with her girlfriend. Now Alex didn’t mind her company as they entered the last shop: a formalwear store where they picked out a tux and dress for Alex. She hated spending money on both, but Miranda assured her she could wear one to her New Year’s party when they got back from their trip. The CEO even insisted on paying for the rushed tailoring, “An early Christmas for you and Tessa...because I’m sure Tessa will really enjoy seeing this.”

——————

Alex was in the kitchen, cooking dinner when Tessa finally came home. They hadn’t really broached the subject of Tessa staying over all the time officially...but Alex had given her a spare key, cleared a drawer and space in her closet for her. For Christmas Alex was actually toying with the idea of putting it out there, asking Tessa to move in with her.... The singer’s condo was big enough for the two of them, not as big as Tessa’s apartment but it was homey and clean and way better to live in when Tessa was there.

“Hey babe! Dinner’s almost done.” She called from the kitchen, the smell of a pasta dish with fresh tomatoes and basil tossed into the sauce hanging in the air. Alex glanced at the timer and seeing that she had 9 minutes left, she strode over to where Tessa was shedding her winter coat and boots.

“Mmm...I missed you.” Alex wrapped up the smaller girl in a warm embrace once she was settled, leaning down to kiss some of the lingering cold from outside away from her girlfriend’s cheek and neck. “I feel like I’ve been shopping for days... But I got some stuff that isn’t so bad, and I think you’ll like to see me in it too.”

She hadn’t missed how stressed and nervous Tessa seemed the past couple of days. Alex knew it was because of their impending trip...but instead of talking about it, she kissed and licked and growled and teased her lover until she drew out a little moan. “We’ve got 8 minutes til dinner. How about I show you how much I missed you?” Alex straightened up so she could look at her girlfriend’s eyes as she grinned mischievously. Seeing her infectious energy rubbing off on Tessa, she herded her girlfriend over to the couch so that they could fool around until the oven timer went off.

————————-

They took Alex’s car because the singer hated Tessa’s winter death trap vehicle. The city was really good about plowing and salting...but Alex still preferred her Jeep and being the one to drive all the same. It wasn’t an embarrassing eyesore at least...it was newer and had the whole winter package because they’d go skiing and snowboarding with bandmates and friends. Alex was a lot more into winter sports than Tessa, but her girlfriend had an interest and pretty damn good on skis.

The closer they got to their destination, the less Tessa wanted to sing along to the radio with her, the more her lover fidgeted and checked her phone. When Tessa started biting her nails, Alex finally decided to intervene. “Hey,” she murmured gently as she glanced over to her girlfriend. Alex took the hand she was biting at and laced their fingers together over the center console. “It’s gonna be fine, okay? Your parents are going to tolerate me at the very least because I’m not a drug dealer or axe murderer.” Alex smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. “And they’re gonna love having you home, otherwise they wouldn’t have asked you there in the first place.”

“I can quote some Bible verses at them if that’ll make you feel better? Prove that the gays aren’t heathens that burst into flames?” Alex joked. She had had a very Catholic upbringing and was surprisingly well versed in it, even though she didn’t go to church or practice anymore. There was even a beatitude tattooed into her sleeve...one that had been her grandfather’s favorite, ‘Blessed are the pure of heart.’ Though from her grandfather’s interpretation of it, it was less about having the heart of a saint and more about being the same on the inside as you were on the outside. ‘God doesn’t like two-faced Catolics, Alexandria. Your actions should reflect vhat ees in your heart.’

Hopefully Tessa’s family wasn’t going to be a bunch of two-faced Christians, because Alex wasn’t sure how well she’d be able to stand those people either.
 
Miranda never realized how much people could change for the person they loved until she met Jack. As sappy as it was, Jack had taught her many things about love and what someone would put themselves through for the people they cared for. Seeing Alex so willing to do things she considered horrible and stuffy for Tessa made her smile, even if she was quick to keep it away and continue shopping.

However, as they neared the end of their shopping trip, Miranda still revealed the good nature hidden beneath the surface, the good nature that a bad influence like Jack had somehow coaxed closer to the surface during their time together. She bought Alex both a tux and a dress, showing just how good a friend she was, not to Alex but to Tessa. Her gift was technically for Alex, but it was obvious who would actually benefit. It could be considered her form of encouragement to her former classmate and current friend.

---

While Alex shopped with Miranda, Tessa did something wild, at least for her; she went to get a tattoo. It was something she had planned for a very long time, a Christmas gift of sorts for Alex, a tattoo dedicated to her. Of course, the idea and the design were dorky, something only a nerdy little musician would find poetic, but Tessa loved it.

The tattoo was five musical keys set on staves, the lines on sheet music. While it looked a bit nonsensical, the keys C, A, G, E, and D were present, in that order. It represented the word "caged" and was bordered by a chain of Alex's favorite flowers. Only, the bottom part of the "flower cage" was falling away, creating a small gap that had petals floating down, leading towards the words "Until I Met You" a few inches below.

It was a complicated design, but Tessa found an incredible tattoo artist that managed to draw up something that fit her mental image almost exactly. So, determined and excited, she got a tattoo, spending a large chunk of her day having it immortalized between her shoulders on her upper back.

While getting the tattoo wasn't as bad as she expected it to be, it made the rest of the night nerve-wracking. She was nervous that Alex would notice, or she would flinch during their fooling around. Fortunately, trying to hide it convincingly was enough to distract her, giving her one last relaxing night with Alex before their trip to her parents' place.

---

Tessa struggled with stress and nervousness for days before the trip, but the moment they were in the car and on their way, she felt it more than ever. Tessa tried not to think about it at the start, but the car ride descended into silence as they got closer, with only light, meaningless conversation managing to make its way out of her lips. She wanted to talk more, she really did, but she couldn't.

Instead, Tessa stared at her phone, looking at the conversation occurring in the group text. Her family had been discussing everything from plans to the people coming for days, but Tessa and her "mysterious friend" were at the top of people's things to talk about. Even now, it got mentioned, especially when Tessa told them that she and Alex would be arriving by dinner. Her cousins were particularly eager to meet Alex.

Tessa's emotions were a mess. She never had the thought of wanting to hide Alex, but it didn't stop the whole thing from burying her in pressure she didn't expect. After all, she knew her family and their beliefs. Was it possible for them to accept Alex?

Without realizing it, Tessa started biting her nails, chewing at them like she did when she was younger and overwhelmed by the thought of being perfect. It wasn't until Alex took her hand that she snapped out of it and realized what she had been doing, a surprised and rather heartbreaking look on her face. She thought she was past that.

"I know, Alex... But I want them to love you as much as I do," she spoke in a soft voice, a bit hesitant about the second part of what Alex said. Would they really love having her home? What about after she told them the truth? About both Alex and her life. It wasn't like she was only coming clean about her sexuality, after all. She was also going to be revealing her career to her parents.

Alex did manage to make her smile, though, the idea of Alex spouting bible verses almost making her laugh. "If it comes down to bible verses, I think we'll be in trouble. Let's just hope it goes well... I really want it to go well." Tessa smiled softly, thinking about all the plans she had when the stress had yet to crash down on her. She had wanted to take Tessa to see her favorite spots, the places that meant something to her. She still wanted to do those things.

Of course, all of that would have to wait. First, they had to make it through the gate, followed by the front door, then a dinner. And the obstacles didn't stop there, including cousins, a rather nasty aunt, and her parents.

"Turn right here, honey." Tessa pointed ahead, giving Alex more concise directions than the GPS once they got close.

After that turn, her childhood home finally appeared, and it was nothing short of monstrous. Her family home was something most would call an estate, and it was the product of history and old money, being in her family for generations.

The house itself could hardly be seen from the road, only beautiful landscaping and a long, winding driveway standing out. While it was a beautiful and rather nostalgic sight, it caused Tessa to sigh.

After a moment, she turned to look at Alex, slightly nervous to see her expression. As she did, she chuckled nervously, saying, "Hopefully, the guards still remember me." She would hate to not be recognized at the gate to her own childhood home.
 
Alex looked at the giant mansion in disbelief. It looked even more imposing in the evening light; dark and looming and ridiculously fancy. She’d seen places like this in history books or on TV; the singer could never understand why people would live in such a large place. She pulled the car up to a stop in front of the black iron gate, letting out a soft groan. “Of course. Of course there’s security.” She muttered as she rolled down the windows and put on her best ‘I swear I’ve never been arrested, officer’ face. Much easier to pull off when her tattoos were covered in a trendy black long sleeve top.

“Can I help you two ladies?” Having seen the NY plates, the guard just assumed he had two lost vacationers he’d have to get rid of. But once he saw Tessa in the passenger seat, he immediately became friendly. “Oh! Ms. Reigns, we’ve been expecting you.” He smiled and went back into his little shack to open up the gate.

Trepidation started to fill Alex’s stomach as she drove up the winding driveway. Ugh. Why hadn’t Tessa prepared her better for this?!!!!??!! This was far beyond any worst case scenario her little blue collar mind could dream up. “You know this is a punishable offense, right? Like ‘you tied up spread eagle while I flog your stomach, thighs, and cunt until everything is bright red’ level of punishment.” She tossed a mock glare at her pet. Tessa did these sorts of things all the time to earn a punishment...though for this she wasn’t entirely sure whether it was habit or an actual fearful omission. “And don’t think I’m going to forget between here and home. I’m gonna make a list,”

At Tessa’s direction, she pulled up to the front door and then hopped out of her vehicle, frowning a bit at the lack of snow and the warm night air. (Well, not really warm for a Southerner; 50s were were shorts weather for Alex though.) She moved around to get their bags out of of the back, but was stopped this time by an older gentleman in a suit. “Please, allow me, Miss.”

“Oh no, I’ve got it, really-“ at every hotel they stayed at, Alex got like this. She could carry her own bags damnit!!

“But I insist Miss...?”

“Alex.”

“Of course, Miss Alex, but usually we go by the family name...”

Yeah. Great. Family name. Cause her family name didn’t make her sound like a communist or anything. “Javorcek.” Alex wasn’t sure how the harsher Slavic sounds were going to come out of this man’s southern accented mouth. “Honestly, Alex is fine. Alexandria if you really have to. ‘Hey you’ is also cool with me.”

The butler actually chuckled at that. It had been a very, very long time since he had helped a guest who wasn’t properly raised in the ways of etiquette, so he took pity on the girl. “Miss Javorcek around company then, and Miss Alex when in private.”

“Thanks.” Alex smiled a little bit. They headed up the stairs and into the foyer. As they came in, a terrible barking/yapping sound followed by the skittering of nails was rounding the corner and charging down a long hallway straight at them. That was Alex’s cue to hide herself behind Tessa.

Alex. Hated. Small. Dogs.

It wasn’t that she was afraid of them... (Okay it was a little bit. She’d been chased by a stray and bit as a kid and had never really gotten over it.) But they were also just needy creatures! Dogs in general were things for needy people who needed something equally needy in their lives. Large dogs that were well trained or working dogs that stayed the fuck away from her were fine...small dogs though? With their razor teeth and incessant barking? The rats on the subway were friendlier than these little jerks.

“Going on the list” Alex whispered as a woman in heels who looked remarkably like an older version of Tessa came down the hallway, not quite running because she was in a pair of high heels but definitely moving with a sense of urgency. She was clapping her hands, trying to shush the feral puffball that had stopped in front of Alex and was barking it’s head off.

“Rosie! Enough! Come here. You come here right now.” Of course the dog didn’t listen because it was evil incarnate, much to the consternation of Tessa’s mother. “James! The dog please?”

“Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.” Not even stopping his stride or setting down the bags, the butler let out a series of whistles that caused the dog to leave Alex alone and follow after him down the wing that led to the bedrooms.

“Sorry about that, puddin’” Alex had to actually force herself to not cringe. Now she saw where Tessa got her love of embarrassing pet names from. “I’m
Mrs. Reigns, pleasure to meet you. You girls must be starving. -Driving- all the way from New York City!” The older woman clicked her tongue disapprovingly even as she wrapped her daughter up into a brief hug. Obviously she would have preferred her child had flown in instead of driving all that way like a barbarian. “Come along now Alex. Tessa, your aunt and cousins are already in the dining room. Why don’t you go hurry and freshen up darlin.’ I can take good care of your friend here.”

There was no negotiating with this woman. Tessa needed to go make herself look more presentable for the family and Alex needed to go be interrogated separately. Alex’s arm was already locked up in Tessa’s mother’s before she could do anything, and was led down the hall to the dining room.
 
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Tessa's gut seemed smarter than her brain on certain occasions, and one such occasion was when they arrived at the gate to her family's estate. Suddenly, her gut told her that she made a mistake and that not telling Alex more about her family and home wouldn't end well for her. When she saw the change of expression on her lover's face, she knew her gut was right, and her brain panicked.

How stupid could she be? She spent the entire trip so caught up in her own head that she didn't warn Alex at all. She felt so miserable that the smile she gave the guard when he walked over to the car was stiff and almost uncomfortable looking.

"It's me, Walter." She was a bit surprised to see a guard she knew at the gate, but it made sense; the man had been with them for a long time and knew the faces of everyone in the family.

As usual, Walter wasn't one for small talk, giving her a genuine smile before walking back to the gatehouse. He was always like that, which was probably why most of the other guards were so professional; with a man like Walter leading them, there was no room for goofing off.

Before she could reminisce, actually having rather fond memories of the staff, Alex brought her back to reality. She reminded her about that gut feeling and what it meant.

"I..." Tessa wanted to make an excuse, but no matter what she thought about saying, it sounded like bullshit. There was no excuse, even if it hadn't been on purpose for once. "I'm sorry, Alex. I should have talked about it. I just..." Tessa sighed, leaning over awkwardly until her head hit Alex's shoulder. The driveway was probably their last stretch of privacy for a while, so she took advantage.

"I love you, Alex, and I'll make this whole trip up to you when we get home." It hadn't even officially started, and she already felt the need to apologize and make it up to her; how delightful.

As they approached the front door, Tessa gave a reluctant sigh and straightened her body, though her hand still held Alex's, gripping it more tightly than ever. She was nervous, and she didn't bother to try and hide it.

It was only when Alex stepped out and went to get their bags that Tessa let go of her hand, but that only made her feel more anxious. Alex served as her pillar, her confidence, and even the bit of separation had her body questioning her choices; it wanted to return to where it was safe, which was by Alex's side.

Of course, even though she jumped out of the vehicle and quickly walked towards Alex, she couldn't do anything. She wanted to hold her hand, to lean against her, to smile and peck her on the cheek to coax her into being good and letting James handle the luggage, but she couldn't. No, she didn't.

Fortunately, James was a good-mannered man, right and proper but capable of loosening up when required. He stood at the top of their staff for that very reason, for being able to accommodate any guest and make them feel comfortable while maintaining the dignity and skill one expected from someone in such a position.

When Alex and James were done talking, Tessa took the chance to greet him, continuing to chat with him as they entered the foyer, where their interaction was cut short.

Suddenly, Tessa felt the urge to scream, not because she shared Alex's hatred of small dogs, but because it was yet another thing she hadn't warned her girlfriend about. Without even needing Alex to say anything, she knew she had earned another demerit; the whispered reminder only served to push home that she was in trouble.

Tessa was already tired, fighting the urge to pout or bite her nails one, unsure whether she was more worried about her future punishments or anxious about being home. However, the quick approach of her mother instantly tilted the scale in favor of anxiousness.

"Mom..." After the dog was taken away, Tessa spoke in a weak voice, a smile on her lips but worry in her eyes. Fortunately, it seemed nothing would immediately go wrong. All she had to endure was some light nagging, directly followed by words she didn't want to hear.

Tessa knew her entire family would be there, cousins and aunt included, but that didn't mean she liked hearing it. She had never been close with her cousins, but after the endless texting that had occurred prior to her arrival, she felt even worse. Her first thought was to look to Alex for help, to seek her refuge, but all she could do was sent her a panicked glance before Alex was dragged away and she was left to go make her presentable.

Unlike the usual Tessa, however, she put up no fight, shooting the panicked look and then meekly surrendering to circumstance. Even if she thought she looked fine, she knew what her mother meant. So, after taking a deep breath and hoping Alex would be okay in the den of wolves that was her extended family, she turned and headed towards her room to freshen up.

---

Freshen up wasn't as simple as it sounded; it involved a new set of clothes, makeup, and even some hair-styling courtesy of one of the maids. It was a long process, one that left Alex alone for longer than Tessa liked, but she couldn't stop halfway.

By the time Tessa finished cleaning up and arrived before everyone else, she had transformed; the amount of time she spent getting ready was reflected in how she looked. Tessa was always beautiful, sexy even, but the grace and elegance she was currently displaying rarely appeared in her everyday life.

She wore a white, form-fitting dress that didn't reveal too much and light makeup, just enough to highlight her natural beauty. Her hair was the same, being put into an elegant but simple updo that showed off her slender, delicate neck without seeming improper. Even the way she walked in the heels on her feet gave off practiced grace, each step steady and measured.

"Sorry to keep everyone waiting," she greeted as she walked into the room, giving a gentle tilt of her head and a shallow smile before heading over to take her place, secretly looking toward Alex, hoping to sit as close to her as possible.
 
She felt like she was in a room of piranhas. Was it the fake smiles with too much teeth? Maybe it was the dead eyes of proper people who never showed real emotion... She couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone in this room was waiting for just a drop of her blood in the water.

She was alone. Alone with people she didn’t know and who she already knew she didn’t have any shared interests with. Introductions went around and she found out the two cousins were both lawyers (well the girl a lawyer and boy was still in law school). Mr. Reigns’ brother, their father, was also a lawyer and working late tonight. The aunt appeared to be a trophy wife, or just didn’t want to disclose any merits she had of her own. For whatever terrible reason, the aunt insisted that Alex take the empty seat next to Tessa’s male cousin who did a piss poor job of hiding his interest in Alex’s looks.

Great. Just fucking great.

“So! Tessa told us you’re a singer. Did you go to Juilliard as well?” Mrs. Reigns was first up with the questions. That didn’t take long.

This was bad. This was very bad. Alex was a terrible liar. She had had extensive interview prep when the band has first gotten off the ground: how best to say things, reminders not to use fillers like ‘um’ or ‘uh,’ how to pivot back to the narrative she wanted, etc. But even in with all that prep, she couldn’t lie.

“No.” Should say she had been a busker? That was marginally better than saying she’d been a homeless street performer, right? Probably not. “I sang in choir all through school” Yup, yup, leave out the part where you didn’t graduate because you were in survival mode. “I was just very fortunate that I got discovered.” Modest dumb luck over her hard work? Was that better?

“Where do you perform? At the Met? On Broadway?” It was the aunt this time.

“I’m lead singer for a band. Less prestigious but better paying.” She joked with a smile. She honestly did like when Tessa took her to the opera or to a Broadway show; Alex loved music, even genres other than her own. But those people definitely didn’t make anywhere near as much money as they deserved.

“So how did you meet Tessa exactly?” Addison, the cousin spoke up this time.

Now Alex was in a stickier situation. She didn’t mind the questions directed at her, but the ones aimed at finding out things about Tessa and their relationship were ones she wanted to avoid. “Well, Tessa’s an amazing composer and lyricist, on top of being a very talented musician. Our agent put me in touch with her, now we have a song that’s on the Billboard Top 100 that was written entirely by her.”

“So you’re a rockstar.” Tessa’s father, who had been quietly watching her finally spoke up. The way he said ‘rockstar’ let Alex know he believed her to be a troublemaker. Which, honestly, was kind of true? But Tessa had been good for her, getting the singer to settle down quite a bit in the time they’d been together. Alex hadn’t been kicked out of a club or in a fist fight for a whole year!

“I’m just a vocalist in a band, Mr. Reigns. We preform and travel...but that’s not all we do. We also have charity organizations we work with, collaborations with other artists, that sort of thing. We’re all very passionate about our craft.” Alex tried to frame it in a way to distance themselves from partying bands where members destroyed hotel rooms and did waaayyyy too many drugs. The worst After Curfew’s members did at this point was drink and/or smoke weed (not Alex because she was worried about her vocal cords.). And it was true that they were very passionate; all of them practiced either alone or all together at least 5 days a week, often more if you counted a weekend performance.

“Well, I think that’s quite exciting.” Johnathan smiled. “More interesting than being in a stuffy office all day.”

———————

Tessa entered just as they were launching into an investigation on Alex’s family, or lack there of. Alex did a pretty good job of dancing around the topic, at least to the point where these people believed her family to be dead and stopped pushing the issue. She had learned very early on that being cast out of a family generated a lot of conversation...but the idea of death made people very uncomfortable. The sense of irreparable loss Alex felt was the same either way so most people just assumed everyone was dead and took pity on her. She hated the pity part, but enjoyed the not speaking of it anymore.

Alex did a double take when she saw Tessa come in. Was she high? Those weren’t the clothes Tessa had been wearing earlier, right?

Initial surprise at how different Tessa looked aside, Alex tried to play it cool...even though every atom in her body thrummed with the urge to reach out and touch her. Honestly she wanted Tessa all the time, even when the other girl was in a pair of pajama pants and oversized tshirt, Alex still thought she was the sexiest woman she’d ever seen. But there was something different now, a refined elegance that her girlfriend had never shown off. It was new and exciting....and incredibly frustrating because Alex couldn’t say or do anything about it.

“That’s a really pretty dress.” She murmured as Tessa took a seat beside her. That’s what straight girls did, right? Compliment the clothes and not the person in them?

“I admit when you said an ‘Alex’ was coming to join us tonight, I had been hoping it would be an Alexander and not an Alexandra. No offense meant Alex, we’re happy to open our home to someone like you.”

Alex busied herself with shoving a piece of chicken into her mouth and drinking her wine to keep from saying anything, silently cursing her alcohol tolerance because there wasn’t enough here at the table to get her through the night.

“Mhmm. It is a shame, Tessa dear. So pretty and so single! Like my poor Johnathan.” Her aunt lamented

“Mother, I am very busy with my studies.” Johnathan defended. “Tessa, you’ve graduated haven’t you? You have all the time in the world now to find a beau and settle down”
 
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Tessa knew how her family could be, and it wasn't just one or two of them. Sometimes it felt like every single person was out for blood, only concerned with their own interests. She was pretty certain she was right as well, that they were really that awful. Still, she was used to it. What truly worried her was leaving Alex to face it alone, for the first time. After all, people like them made drunk idiots at the bar seem like kind and reasonable people.

Fortunately, by the time Tessa arrived, things hadn't imploded yet. Despite all odds, Alex was behaving herself, even if she could be quite certain her cousins weren't; she knew them too well to think anything but negative thoughts.

When she heard the tail-end of the conversation upon her arrival, her face froze, the smile cementing in place as she struggled not to frown. She managed, but it wasn't easy. How dare they? Tessa didn't give many details, but she gave enough of a hint about her "friend" for them to know better than to bring up her family!

Luckily, she also noticed Alex's slightly dazed expression when she first saw her, which was almost enough to quell her anger. It caused the smile on her face to widen and appear more genuine, though it seemed to be the only genuine smile in the room. She was proud, and more than a little bit thrilled, that Alex liked the look. She didn't dress up like that often, not when she wasn't home, so it was nice that the change was appreciated.

Just as one would expect from a woman infatuated with her girlfriend, Tessa immediately began to think of how much fun it would be to have Alex rip the dress off her, parting the fabric to reveal her soft, delicate skin. How badly she wanted that, to be somewhere else, somewhere private.

"Thank you," Tessa responded softly to Alex's compliment, sitting beside her as she did. She even turned to flash her smile at Alex, though she only managed to lock eyes with her girlfriend for a second before the mood was ruined.

The good news was, despite Tessa's nerves, she managed to answer any questions directed her way, all the while shaking lightly. If not for her incredible vocal control, she was quite sure her voice would have quivered every time she spoke.

Of course, that only lasted so long. Fresh off the disappointment from Alex not being a man, her family hammered their main concern home with all the subtlety of a rampaging bull; they wanted her to find a man. They really never failed to bring up her love life, seeming almost desperate to find her a partner. Only, for the first time, she couldn't use school as an excuse.

"I'm not sure about that," Tessa said, struggling to sound normal as she fumbled with the napkin sitting in her lap nervously. She had almost reached out for Alex's hand, leaving her in an awkward position after stopping short.

"Nonsense, darlin', you are the perfect age to start dating, and there are plenty of interested young men out there," Tessa's mother chimed in, sounding oddly sure about the interested young men; it sounded like she already had some plans of her own.

Tessa was mortified, and she didn't remain calm, already stammering out in a voice that had conformed a bit to her parents in her panic. "Mom! What are ya'll talking about?"

She was panicked, so much so that she didn't notice the change in her tone and words, barely even registering the fact that she was speaking words. Heck, if it wasn't for the setting, she would have jumped out of her chair in protest.

"Manners, Tessa," her father said, his voice as calm as ever. Though, after Tessa's outburst, he did give her a stern expression, even shooting a familiar look at the innocent Alex.

"Your cousin is right, Tessa. Now that you've graduated, it's nearly time for you to settle down." What she didn't say was that she had already made tentative plans to set her up on a blind date.

Tessa, who was barely in a good enough mood to eat anything, sat in silence, trying to figure out why it happened so quickly. She was so caught up that she failed to notice the panicked look she sent Alex and her cousin's curious gaze.

However, there was another topic that Tessa did her best to avoid over dinner, which was her own life. Everything else aside, she hadn't even come clean about what she had been doing since graduating from college, and even if she wanted to go into detail, it wasn't the time or the place in her mind.

So, she could only endure, looking forward to the end of the meal from the very start, wanting nothing more than to dash away from her family so she could get some fresh air.
 
It took every ounce of self control she had to not argue with Tessa’s family as they made it known their wish for her girlfriend to settle down. Tessa didn’t need to just give up her career and her independent life just so she could be on the arm of some man. When she saw her lover fidgeting with her napkin, the best Alex could do was move to adjust hers, brushing the back of Tessa’s hand in the process.

“And what about you, Alex? Seeing anyone? Or are you as against settling down as my cousin?” Addison prodded, not missing the brief contact and the furtive glances the two had shared.

“Oh, uh, me?” There it went. All that interview prep out the window. Their manager would be very disappointed. “I....think it would be unfair for me to date; especially with the band going on tour in the summer. I don’t think a lot of people would understand.... And there are a lot of things I still want to do and see before I settle down.”

“Mmm, see, Robert!” Tessa’s mother chimed in. “I told you it would be so important that we took all those family vacations with Tessy. Let her go out, see the world, have all those experiences so that she would be ready to settle when the time came.”

“I’m sure you just need a reminder of what it’s like to go out with a proper southern gentleman, Tessa. Perhaps you could set someone up with Alex too, auntie? You know what vultures attend those galas without a date.” Addison smiled sweetly.

“Oh that is a good point Addison, darlin’ I hadn’t even thought of that.”

Alex just about choked on her wine in her effort to get it down so she could speak up. “Th-that’s very -ahem- kind but I wouldn’t want to be a burden.” She sputtered for a moment before clearing her throat. “Tessa mentioned there’d be a live band preforming, I’d be happy to just have a seat and listen to them play. You’ve already been so kind letting me stay here-“

“Oh bless your heart. It’s no trouble at all.” Mrs. Reigns waved her hand, as if that settled everything. “Besides, I’ve already set up a date for Tessa. Remember Dillon, sweetheart? He’s grown to be so handsome now! And he’s on the city council. Well, anyways, he was asking about you. Once I realized Alex was a girl, I said it would be perfectly fine for him to take you out tomorrow and then be your escort to the gala.”
 
Tessa's desire to punch her cousin, Addison, wasn't anything new. In fact, when she was younger, she constantly felt the urge to shut her up. But she hadn't been a fighter then, barely being able to speak up for herself when she was younger, and it hadn't changed much now. Even when she started pushing at Alex, asking about her girlfriend's dating life, Tessa could only shoot her quick glare before looking down at her plate, not wanting anyone to notice how upset she felt.

Funnily enough, Tessa didn't get as offended or angry when it involved her, but it wasn't the same when it involved Alex. The singer being questioned had caused her to reveal a hint of anger that she would have never shown otherwise.

Worse than anything, though, was how Tessa felt a pain in her heart when Alex didn't just say they were dating. She knew that had been her decision and that her doing so would have blown everything up, but it still didn't make it pleasant to hear the person she loved hiding her, a feeling she knew would be mutual for as long as they pretended in front of her family.

Still, she was already close to mumbling the words, "There's a lot I want to do and see before I settle down." It wasn't Alex's fault; she was just saying something to escape the awkward situation. It didn't make it that much better, though, especially when Addison opened her stupid mouth again!

Tessa clenched her fist, barely able to contain the anger bubbling up inside of her. Even as meek and well-behaved as she was around her family, the idea of Alex going to the gala with a man angered her, and that was despite knowing nothing would ever happen! If only Addison was the only one with horrible plans.

Tessa's eyes widened when her mother delivered even worse news, not only settling on the idea of finding Alex a partner for the night in question but also informing her that she had already asked around and had set up a date for her!

"But mom, Dillon—"

Tessa wanted to say something, to reject the idea with every fiber of her being, but Addison quickly interrupted her, all the while wearing a grin that appeared sweet but was laced with venom.

"That's such a good idea, auntie. I know Dillon has always liked Tessa, and he has become so impressive."

Having someone agree with her sent Tessa's mother into a fit of excited rambling as she discussed how well he had been doing and his family and everything else that she found impressive about him. It was her not-so-subtle way of telling Tessa how good of a choice he was. Yet, despite that, she never so much as looked in Tessa's direction. If she had, maybe she would have noticed the slight look of horror in her eyes.

What her mother didn't know, but Addison certainly did, was that Dillon had been part of the reason that high school was such a living hell for her. He had tormented her, harassing her at every turn in an attempt to get a date with her, or at the very least, sleep with her. The daughter of the Reigns family was a trophy he had always wanted, and her rejection back then had infuriated him. The very idea of going anywhere with him, even after so many years, sickened her; she could barely even touch her food after.

The meal couldn't end soon enough, and when it did, Tessa was the first person to hurriedly think of a reason to leave.

"Sorry, but I think I'll have to call it a night early. The drive left me quite tired. I'll show Alex around a bit and then head to bed, excuse me."

She didn't leave Alex behind either, offering her girlfriend a helping hand to escape the nightmare that would occur if she left her there. She also wanted to avoid further punishment, something that would be delivered quickly and with great force if she were to abandon her there. Besides, she really wanted to show her the gardens, and a place that was quite special to her, assuming it was still there.
 
Thankfully everyone seemed to be listening to Mrs. Reigns gush about Dillon, so no one noticed the absolute murderous rage that clouded over Alex’s hazel eyes. Her entire body had tensed and the grip on the stem of her wine glass was nearing a dangerous level of pressure. Alex had a jealousy streak about a mile wide. This and her poorly controlled anger were her two greatest flaws. But, considering all she’d been through, she could be 30 kinds of crazy or into hard drugs to boot. At least she could manage it. At least she hadn’t blown up in the middle of dinner.

She didn’t have to endure this torture much longer. Dinner was over and Tessa offered her a way out, one Alex just about jumped at the chance to take. Her body still radiated anger, something Tessa seemed to sense because Alex could feel a gentle hand pressing against her spine to calm her once her girlfriend thought they were away from prying eyes.

Tessa led them down one of the hallways and towards a pair of large glass doors that opened out to the patio. From there it was a short walk to the gardens. Tessa seemed to take the stones pathway just fine in her heels, but Alex still offered her arm. A smile finally reached her lips when Tessa took it. The closeness made her feel better, as did the cool night air. The sky was clear and the moon and stars gave them enough light to pick there way along until they got to the gardens which had a few white Christmas strung along them for decoration.

“So...’ya’ll’, huh?” Alex decided some gentle teasing was in order after the hell they’d just been through. She was still mad and upset...but if they only had this time together, she didn’t want to spend it arguing. “Guess you can’t tease me anymore for how I say ‘soh-rry’ or ‘aboat’, eh?” She let some of her soft Canadian accent sneak out, even the ‘ey’ at the end for her girlfriend’s benefit.

Tessa knew she loved flowers and impressed her by naming off a couple Alex didn’t know as they went along. Alex’s grandparents had been dairy farmers but her grandmother had kept beautiful gardens. She knew most of the northern blossoms, but didn’t recognize the majority of the plants here except for the irises and winter roses.

Her girlfriend led her deeper into the garden, back into a corner shielded from the house with flowering shrubs and vines that grew on large white trellises. It was there that Alex wrapped her up into her arms and kissed her properly, with all the fire of the desire she had felt when she had first set eyes on Tessa in that dress, and all the possessiveness that came from the prospect of having to endure her girlfriend going out with some man for the sake of pretend.
 
The entire house started to feel stifling once decisions started getting made for Tessa. It was an old story at a different time, and one she had given up fighting a long time ago. She just couldn't take it. In fact, her entire struggle with returning home originated from that very problem, where her life seemed decided for her, and how she always let them get away with it, afraid of what would happen if she opened her mouth and said no. Now, she had dragged Alex into it.

"Sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry," Tessa whispered once they were outside and away from prying ears. She wanted to add an excuse, say that she didn't know they would be so forceful and invasive, but that would be a lie.

Fortunately, she had Alex with her. While visiting her childhood home could be suffocating, and while the idea of coming out to her parents still terrified her to a degree, having Alex by her side made it all feel survivable. No matter what happened, as long as she didn't hurt the woman walking by her side, she would be loved; nothing was quite as comforting as that fact. She would be loved.

A smile appeared on her face as she leaned her body against Alex, taking advantage of the offered arm to press against her girlfriend and steal some of her warmth.

She felt so comfortable that the walk through the gardens seemed like a dream, removed from what had happened just before and her worries about the next day and the god-awful date her mother pushed on her. She just wanted to enjoy it, and fortunately, Alex seemed to feel the same, choosing to make fun of her instead of talking about the miserable dinner.

"Hey! It only happens when I get stressed and when I'm back here..." Tessa pouted, though she really did hate how she sounded when the accent kicked back in, enough that a blush crept up her cheeks at Alex's teasing.

"Besides, at least your accent is cute. Mine is just..." She could only groan at the thought of what her accent sounded like. Fortunately, she was good at hiding it, ridding herself of the accent in large part due to vocal training, with the rest being pure determination.

She just hoped it didn't sneak back in somewhere even worse. "Ya'll" was hard not to say sometimes, especially when she got worked up and the softer parts of her accent appeared, but it could get worse.

Keeping that in mind, and trying to make sure it didn't happen again, she started naming off flowers and chit-chatting about how it was when she was younger. She even led Alex to her favorite place, pulling her into a corner that gave them enough privacy to do whatever they wanted.

She turned around with a smile, prepared to tell Alex how she used to come there to compose and work on songs; she even did her homework there sometimes. But before she could say a word, Alex pulled her in close and captured her lips, silencing her.

Tessa didn't resist, melting into Alex's embrace instead. While it hadn't even been a full day, lasting a couple of hours at most, it felt like they hadn't been intimate in forever. Before long, she had her arms wrapped around Alex's neck, so desperate for more that she forgot to breathe, leaving herself breathless by the time they parted.

As she tried to catch her breath, she snuggled into Alex's body, her head resting against Alex's shoulder. She felt so comfortable in her embrace, enough that the anxiety eating away at her insides spilled out, and she started telling Alex about Dillon, about how badly she wanted to avoid their "date."

"You know, the guy, Dillon... I'm sure my cousin had something to do with his name coming out of my mom's mouth." Tessa frowned, her expression hidden in the nook of Alex's neck. "He's not a good person. Back in high school, I was quiet and shy, and I kept to myself. Dillon, he approached me, wanted me, and when I rejected him, he harassed and tormented me. Four years of that, and now..." She wasn't scared, but the very notion of it made her uncomfortable, sick even.

To make it worse, Tessa only had Alex to confide in; she felt guilty. It was her who hadn't told her parents the truth, and yet, Alex was the only person she could talk to and rely on. As unfair as it was, she turned to the person she loved for comfort.

"This is awful, Alex. What do I do?" Tessa sighed, thoroughly destroying the mood she had been so happy about moments earlier. Should I just tell them tonight? If only she could voice that out, make it an option. If only she could convince herself to stop being so stupid and afraid.
 
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Alex was a very physically intimate person, whether it be with proximity or actual touch, she was used to being able to show her affections to her lover. With all that having been bottled up, it took very little prompting to get her ready to rip off Tessa’s dress. She had been about to, hands already roaming as her girlfriend nuzzled into the warmth of her neck.....annnddd then Tessa started talking about some guy who Alex was probably going to murder and then dump the body in the Catskills.

“Tessa...babe, you’re wicked tough now. Or at least tougher than anyone here. You live in New York, you’re a drummer in an alt rock band, you’re dating a bad ass....you’re not in high school anymore” Alex kissed the top of her head, “You can tell this guy to fuck off and if he gives you any trouble, I’ll kick his ass myself.”

She knew it wasn’t that simple. Tessa’s family was...awful. So far the only people Alex could stand were Mr. Reigns and Johnathan but that was because neither one had opened their mouths enough for her to hate them yet.

As the conversation went on, Alex felt her heart sink further...until it finally plummeted to a place that caused her thoughts to spiral out.

“Alex, what do you want me to do? ...I can’t. I’m so so so sorry, I just can’t.”

She remembered, a lot more vividly than she would have liked to, that night she had come out to her parents. It had been cold, colder than this, the first snow on the ground...she had picked a very bad time of year to come out of the closet and get kicked out of her home. While the rejection by her family had destroyed her....her very first girlfriend also turning her away had obliterated anything still standing.

Alex hadn’t been worth coming out for that first time.... She remembered later, when she had gotten some name recognition with the band, her ex reaching out. They had been long time childhood friends before ever dating...she had missed Alex...but the old Alex wasn’t who she was anymore. She remembered the wedding invitation her ex had sent a year later, to some woman that had been worth the risk of coming out for. Her ex hadn’t meant it as a burn, just as a ‘I finally did it!’

...it had still burned.

This was why she had that ‘no bi girls’ rule. She didn’t want to deal with this part, not ever again.

“I can’t....I can’t tell you what to do.” Alex’s voice shook with an emotion she didn’t want to talk about or name. She felt small. She felt vulnerable. She didn’t like that, not at all. She cleared her throat, banished her old thoughts, and tried her best to be present right here. “But...I can tell you that there’s never going to be a good time. You can’t predict how people are going to take it..... I’m here and I’ve got you though,” she hugged Tessa a little tighter.

With the romantic mood doused and her heart feeling heavy, Alex decided she had had enough cognitive dissonance for the day. “We’ve had a long day...and you’re shivering. Let’s go inside and go to bed. We can figured things out in the morning”

——————————

Alex woke up early as she always did. She didn’t sleep a full 8 hours unless she partied hard, had amazing sex, or drank her weight in cocktails. So at 4am she was awake and restless. Normally she’d start her day with a run, but she was afraid of Cujo who undoubtedly was outside her door, waiting to bark at her and flash those stupid knife teeth.

After pacing around and slowly driving herself crazy with memories of last night, Alex did the only sensible thing she could in such circumstances: she slipped on her workout clothes, put in her headphones, and climbed out the first story window so she could go for a run.
 
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Alex tried to comfort her, but the moment Tessa heard her shaking voice, she knew that she had messed up. She was asking too much, trying to put her burdens and the decisions she needed to make on Alex's shoulders. Alex was right, she couldn't tell her what to do, and it wasn't fair of her to expect anything different.

"Yeah... As long as you're here..." Tessa murmured, her voice disappearing into Alex's neck. As long as Alex was there with her, Tessa could stand strong; she was sure of it. Even in the face of her old tormentor, Dillon, she wouldn't back down. As for her parents and the rest of her family, she just wanted to enjoy a little more time... Just a little more, then she could tell them.

The thought that it could be the last Christmas with them, or at least the last one for a long time, was a new fear that swept in to replace the old one of telling them at all. Truthfully, it only applied to her parents, with the rest of them being cold, calculating monsters, but she truly loved her parents.

Despite his quiet demeanor and high expectations, Tessa's father had always allowed her to do what she wanted, even if he gave her advice along the way. It didn't always seem like it, but he was financially supportive, even if he remained absent emotionally. And despite her pushy personality, her mother always seemed to be trying to do what was right for her, even if she didn't want to listen.

Everything else aside, she loved them; they were her parents. She just wanted to cherish that relationship for a few more days.

Those were the thoughts plaguing her for the entire night, long after Alex had escorted her back to her room. It ended up being a restless night, one that lasted well past the early hours of the morning and ventured into the light of day.

Tessa got a few hours, mostly in short, unsatisfying intervals, but it wasn't much. So, when a maid knocked on her door around eight to call her down for breakfast, her first response was to send her away. Only, Alex would be up, and if she was, Tessa needed to roll out of bed quickly and make sure she didn't get left on her own with the wolves.

Therefore, with a horrible day in front of her and tired eyes, Tessa slipped out of bed and walked towards her closet, looking for a simple outfit to change into; she couldn't very well go out in a large t-shirt and some shorts, after all.

Only then did Tessa head to the door where the maid was waiting. After giving the maid the brightest smile that she could manage, Tessa dismissed her, thanking her and allowing her to return to her previous duties. Then, without further ado, she headed towards the dining room, planning to stop by Alex's room along the way. After all, even if breakfast would be far more tame, with much fewer people, she wanted to stick by her side as much as possible. Even more so in case her mother had any more "excellent" ideas about the hellish day ahead.
 
She ran for about an hour, passing a few more mansions before she got to a more suburban area, then turning back the way she had came and sprinting back to Tessa’s. The butler looked at her a little strangely when she came back; a sweaty woman in workout clothes at 5am was probably a sight he didn’t see often around here.

Feeling better, but still restless, Alex did some body weight training in the quietness of her guest room for awhile longer. Push ups, planks, burpees, anything she could think of to just work her muscles closer to exhaustion. She had one of the snacks she kept in her bag so she wasn’t ravenously hungry, just some trail mix and a grass-fed beef stick. Then showered in the en-suite bathroom and got dressed for the day in a more festive pair of wine colored slacks and a dark green blouse (that was in her opinion just an overpriced women’s version of one of the many henleys she already owned). But Miranda had assured her it was cute, worth it because it was suitable for the company she was going to keep, and showed off her collar bones nicely without revealing where her tattooed sleeve creeped up her shoulder.

After the addition of a necklace, some light make up, and a little bit of fussing with her hair, she thought she looked presentable. At least Tessa would appreciate the effort anyways.

And it was still only 7.

Ugh.

She tried to watch some TV, tried to read the book she had brought, but couldn’t find it in herself to sit still. She decided on doing her vocal exercises instead. Alex was pretty strict with her vocals and guitar practice...and just because she was without her guitar didn’t mean she was going to shirk practice all together.

By the time Tessa came to get her she had warmed up enough to push her voice a little bit. She didn’t sing anything crazy or loud, instead further toying with a song she’d written as Tessa’s Christmas present because it was impossible to buy her pet something, let alone her girlfriend. She’d already recorded the thing, but still tinkered with it in case it grew into something slightly better in the next few days.

“I don’t wanna wake up
Wake up without you
My morning’s always better
Spent bein near you~

Girl I could never go back to bein’ alone
Cause Tessa you’re the one who makes me feel like I’m home~“

She was through the second verse and part of the chorus when she heard the knock at her door. Alex shut off the TV and then headed over, smiling when she saw it was her lover and not one of the staff here to collect her. “Hey.” Quickly she poked her head out the door, checked up and down the hallway, then leaned forward to kiss Tessa good morning.
 
Tessa was still in her own head as she walked to Alex's room, but the moment she saw her girlfriend's face, she smiled. "Hey yourself," she said, planning to add a semi-cheerful "good morning" but not managing to do so before Alex leaned in for a kiss.

As nervous as kissing in the middle of the hall made her, Tessa indulged in the meeting of lips; she needed it. When the brief kiss ended, Tessa revealed a trace of disappointment, but a short kiss beat no kiss at all.

"I love you, Alex." Tessa didn't miss the chance for a little more affection, even if it was only a verbal reminder of how much the other woman meant to her. Hopefully, no matter how the rest of the day went, those words would stick.

"Now, are you ready for breakfast?" she asked with a tired chuckle. The food always tasted good in the Reigns household, which wasn't strange considering the level of their chefs. However, it also meant sitting around the table and sharing another delightful meal. She could barely hold back a sigh.

Tessa fought the urge to hold Alex's hands once they started making their way towards the smaller dining room reserved for ordinary meals; the dining hall meant for large gatherings would feel strange for less than ten people, so they didn't use it.

"You look good, by the way," Tessa said, trying to disperse some of the awkward air as they both tried to avoid looking like lovers, which was much harder than Tessa expected. Apparently, she never realized just how much she instinctively clung to Alex when they were together, which was basically always.

Tessa knew she had lived a life before Alex, but it didn't really feel like it. If she had to try to explain it, Tessa would compare the difference to a world with and without color, one being dull and lifeless, the other bright and hopeful. Even now, having to restrain herself felt like returning to a world overcast in gray.

"Miss Reigns?" A voice snapped Tessa out of her thoughts. She hadn't even noticed when they arrived at the door to the dining room. Fortunately, one of the maids was entering the room with a freshly brewed thing of coffee and brought her back to reality.

Tessa looked up, smiled lightly, and then led Alex into the dining room. Luckily, between the smell of coffee and the tantalizing aroma of food, she managed to avoid further absentmindedness, taking a seat where Alex could sit beside her and immediately asking for a cup of coffee from the maid who followed them inside.

"Coffee? Don't you prefer tea, hon?" Tessa's mother asked her, though she seemed to already suspect the reason for it. Even though she didn't say anything, she narrowed in on her daughter's tired look immediately.

"Usually, but I didn't sleep well," Tessa responded faintly before taking the newly poured coffee and lifting it up to her lips with both hands, enjoying the scent and the warmth even before savoring the taste of the exquisite coffee beans used by her family.

"I bet it was just all the excitement about today," Addison chimed in, smiling across the table at Tessa. She seemed intent on not giving Tessa a moment's peace, ensuring she couldn't be forgotten like a constant thorn in Tessa's side.

It wouldn't have been as bad if Tessa's mother hadn't lit up at the very thought of it. "That's right, today is quite exciting, isn't it? You'll get to meet Dillon again after so long, and then there's the gala."

Once she started, it was difficult to get her to stop. Fortunately, Tessa's father managed to divert her attention with a soft cough and a gentle reminder about church.

"Oh! I almost forgot," her mother exclaimed, seeming even more excited as she turned to Tessa and said, "Guess what, darlin'." She didn't wait for Tessa to guess, though, not even giving Tessa enough time to look up from her coffee before saying, "We talked with the church, and you'll be playing the piano at today's service!"

As usual, there was no question; Tessa wasn't given a choice. Her mother simply told her what would happen, seeming to think Tessa not wanting to do it was impossible. For once, she wasn't entirely wrong. Even if Tessa would have liked to be asked, she didn't mind playing the piano, not even a little bit. If anything, she finally had something to look forward to aside from whatever moment's she could sneak in with Alex.

"Oh, auntie, since Tessa is joining the service, why don't we see if Alex here can join the choir. A professional singer like he would be an incredible addition to this morning's mass." Addison chimed in once again, and once again, her words were met with enthusiasm by Tessa's mother.

"What a lovely idea." She was far calmer, however, not seeming anywhere near as excited as she had at the idea of showing off her daughter and all of her charm.

"Okay, let them eat now, dear. After breakfast, we can all go listen to Tessa as she warms up, then we'll get ready for church." After her father spoke up, nobody else interrupted breakfast with much more than chit-chat, leaving Tessa to her meal, as well as leaving her trying to subtly apologize for getting Alex dragged into something yet again; her mother could be so overbearing.
 
“Mmm...I love you too” Alex purred, hands tugging lightly on Tessa’s front pockets to bring her closer after their kiss. She didn’t miss the fact that Tessa looked sleepier than usual, and tried to offer a little bit of physical comfort before they had to make their way down the hall for breakfast. After her workout and small snack, she was absolutely starving.

Unfortunately though, at the mention of Dillon, Alex suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore despite the deliciousness of food and her negative amount of calories for the day.

She poked a bit at a meat that looked like what bacon and Canadian bacon would be if they had a baby. Irish bacon she thought the chef said? Muttering something that sounded like ‘List’ to herself at the mention of church. Well. This day couldn’t get much worse.

At Addison’s suggestion that she sing in the choir, she found that the day could indeed get worse.

Alex had a very difficult time with organized religion, because it was in the name of Catholicism that her parents had cast her out. She was still very spiritual in spite of that, believed in God even, but would be just fine if she didn’t have to listen to another sermon or go into a church ever again.

She loved to sing and enjoyed performing...but if she had to put on a happy face for another group of strangers, she was going to die. Alex had very high highs and super low lows...but she usually kept herself even with exercise, music, and her other hobbies. Now she was starting to dip into the low side, she could feel it already. The desire to be alone. The longing to just hole up in her room and listen to music or go back to bed until this was all over.

Addison didn’t miss a beat. After researching anything that the internet had on an Alex Javorcek, she could sense their guest’s misery right away. Now to put the nail in the coffin. “My goodness, ya’ll will have so much to do this morning. At least you’ll have a nice, relaxing lunch date with Dillon while Johnathan takes Alex on a tour of the town.” Addison smiled sweetly to her cousin. Divide and conquer; Alex wouldn’t be able to protect Tessa now.

——————————

Despite her sour mood, Alex enjoyed listening to Tessa play. While the family gathered around her girlfriend and the grand piano Alex took a seat a little further off in one of the plush chairs in the family room. It was better this way, the urge to kiss her girlfriend and touch her like she would back home would be diminished with the physical distance between them.

“Excuse me, I have to take this. Excellent job, sweet pea. I look forward to hear the rest at church.” Mr. Reigns only stayed for a song and a half before his phone went off. He fished it out of his pocket, answering it as he strode away from the family room.

———————-

Church was fine.

Johnathan was fine.

Everything was fine.

Well it was fine until he tried to touch her at lunch.

It was innocent enough, a hand on her lower back to shepherd her into the cute little cafe they were going into. “Look, Johnathan, I thought I made it clear I wasn’t looking for anything last night.”

“Well it doesn’t have to be anything serious.” Johnathan smiled. He had thought the two of them were on the same wavelength. Tessa’s friend was gorgeous...and she was pretty interesting, not like any of the girls he usually dated. Plus, Alex wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. He wasn’t looking for one either because he was finishing his degree. A little fling seemed like a win win. “Doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun.”

Be nice. Be nice. He’s Tessa’s cousin...don’t threaten him with bodily harm...

“Aren’t you adorable.... I’d break you in half.” Alex managed to push enough of her bad mood aside to flash a predatory smile and gave his cheek a little tap. That seemed to give him some pause; her dominant side tended to do that to men. “Sorry you’ve been saddled with me, but seriously, no thanks, you’re not my type. Here, lunch is on me for your trouble.”

The declaration that -she- would be paying for lunch just cut Johnathan at the knees. He didn’t know whether to be offended or not. Eventually he just chalked up Alex’s odd behavior to her being from New York City. “I’m still your escort for the gala tonight,” he said as they took a seat at a table for two.

“Mmm. That’s true. Well, don’t feel compelled to stay with me all night on my account. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

Johnathan scoffed. “You don’t know how it works around here, do you.”

“No, I don’t. But I’m only here for 2 more days so I don’t care to learn.”
 
Even though Alex looked miserable when Addison mentioned her singing at church, Tessa felt excited. To her, having Alex sing was always a good thing, no matter the circumstances.

With Alex joining her on the musical side of the mass, which was far better than having to sit, stand, and kneel in rotation amongst her family, Tessa felt invigorated. Suddenly, she wanted to present her best performance, though religious pieces left little room for showing off. Still, she set her mind on playing perfectly.

If only Addison could have kept her mouth shut and let her enjoy the excitement. Instead, her enthusiasm was doused with the cold, depressing water of reality. Right, even if mass wouldn't be miserable, the rest of the day promised to be.

With her emotions soured and her mood flattened, Tessa sighed and finished eating; the rest of the day went about the same.

Her practice went well, with Tessa playing the pieces beautifully, but anyone who knew her well would be able to notice just how passionless the performance was. It felt mechanical, especially next to how vivid and bright she usually was when performing. Alex had seen it, how Tessa lit up in the middle of a set, calm but clearly full of energy.

When they attended church, the performance improved slightly, with Tessa managing to shake off Addison's provocation and play well, but her heart wasn't in it. Nobody seemed to notice, and quite a few people even complimented her after the service, but she knew. She simply couldn't manage to recover with her impending "date" on her mind.

As if having to meet Dillon wasn't bad enough, Johnathan seemed taken with Alex. He wasn't obvious, but showing enough interest to take her on a "tour" made it clear enough. Tessa grew downcast, and it only got worse.

---

Back when Tessa still walked the path of a hetero serial monogamist in denial, she went on a lot of bad dates, but none were as awful as lunch with Dillon. From the moment they met up, Tessa felt more than uncomfortable; she felt sick. The way he looked at her, it hadn't changed even after so many years.

Of course, he tried hard to appear like a gentleman, acting the part well, but that only made Tessa sick to her stomach. The way he used courtesy as an excuse to stick close to her, and how he spoke to her about music and topics he believed would interest her with practiced ease. Clearly, the man had put in a great deal of effort, likely having help from Addison and her mother, to come across as the perfect date. All of it to try to get what he missed out on in high school, the ultimate notch for his belt — the only daughter of the Reigns family.

Even when she showed her disinterest and told him she only went on the date because her mother didn't give her a choice, he reacted positively, smiling with all the charm and warmth of a snake before telling her it was fine. Apparently, he only wanted to catch up, telling her it would be an honor to escort her to the gala and that they could simply attend as friends.

If not for that look in his eyes, I may have believed him. But I know that look... the one that bored into me for years. Tessa shivered in disgust, hating the feeling of being looked at that way, like an object, one coveted by lecherous eyes. Yet, it had already been decided that he would be the one to escort her to the gala, and she couldn't change things last minute, not without a good reason. She just had to hope she could get away from him as early as possible and go find Alex; maybe then she could enjoy herself a bit.

---

The gala proved worse than the date. Not only did she have to constantly keep distance between herself and the persistent Dillon, but her mother and Addison kept appearing to make it harder. In her mother's case, she seemed convinced they made an adorable couple, a thought that terrified Tessa and made her noticeably pale.

She got worse as people greeted them together, her mother taking them around the gala to show off her daughter and the potential husband they found for her. Of course, she never introduced them as anything more than escort and escortee, but the circle loved assumptions. Just seeing them together was enough for people to be certain of the future, and it gave Tessa the urge to vomit.

Luckily, the worse she looked, the more her mother noticed, and eventually, she managed to get permission to relax. Finally, the introductions came to an end, and she found a chance to look for Alex.

What Tessa didn't expect, however, was that her girlfriend would be at the bar, hitting on the bartender. Maybe not hitting on, but she was certainly being flirted with, and she accepted it with a smile, even carrying on a conversation with her usual charm. Seeing such a thing caused Tessa's mood to go from bad to worse.

"Alex!" Tessa didn't yell, but her voice was firm and upset, more so than made sense considering she only walked up and stared at her. What could she even say? Could she ask why Alex was acting like that when she couldn't even talk about their relationship out loud? No, she could talk about it out loud, but she always found a reason to push it off; currently, it was the gala and the excuse of having a few more days with her family.

"Alex..." Her voice softened at the thought that it was more her fault that anything else, and while she felt emotional, she kept her face as normal as possible.

Everything felt so wrong. After a long day, one full of misery, now she was faced with a scene that crushed her heart. Alex didn't even flirt back, but seeing her accepting it was enough, and it was all because Tessa was too weak to claim her in front of the entire world.

Wasn't that what I wanted? To tell the world? Why... why do I become so weak in front of these people?

Tessa swallowed, her throat dry. Without saying anything, she reached forward and took Alex's drink, tipping it back. It burned, barely managing to go down the right pipe, but she endured it. Then, with a hint of desperate determination, she reached forward and grabbed Alex's hand, dragging her out of her seat and away from the bar.

She didn't know where she was going, but she wanted somewhere private, and before she knew it, she was haphazardly shoving most of the cash she had on her into a coat boy's hands.

"Don't let anyone come in," were the only words she left before pulling Alex into the room and shutting the door behind them. She even locked it, ensuring nobody could disturb them.

While the room was meant for storing coats and other valuables, it was just a regular room, one cleared out to serve as storage; there was plenty of space. Almost immediately, Tessa turned and kissed Alex, her actions hasty and needy. However, her hands shook slightly, trembling as she gripped Alex's arms.

When the kiss ended, she looked up with watery eyes, looking particularly vulnerable. The dress she had on didn't help. While she didn't dress sexily, unable to fathom doing so when her date was a man she found repugnant, she had a beautiful red dress on, one that managed to capture her best features without coming off as too provocative. There was even a ribbon-like tie at the back, leaving her looking like a present waiting to be unwrapped.

"I hate this, Alex. I hate it! I can't do it any longer. I can't keep pretending. After the gala is over, I'll tell them... So please, just stay with me for the rest of the night. Please, Alex..." Yeah, for the first time in days, she felt okay. The pressure and stress, the discomfort, the unease, it all flooded away with that one decision. She would just tell them. She couldn't keep doing the stupid dance, pretending for them while hurting herself and the woman she loved. It wasn't worth it. They could just go back home, back to Alex's comfortable apartment and their friends, back to their life.
 
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The day was so busy that Alex didn’t even get a chance to see Tessa after their respective ‘dates’. By the time Johnathan had brought her back to the estate, Tessa had already disappeared to get her hair and makeup done.

It was just as well she supposed. She didn’t want to hear that guy’s stupid name out of her girlfriend’s mouth.

Eveningwear took a bit more doing than any of the outfits she’d forced herself into during her entire time at the Reigns home. The black dress and white tuxedo both made her feel foolish, though each for vastly different reasons. On a normal night she would have loved a suit, maybe would have even packed underneath it for some naughty fun afterwards....but she was just lacking the confidence to pull the whole thing off. Even though it fit her like a glove and she looked particularly dashing in the tailored fabric, it just didn’t feel right. The dress was, well, it was a dress; while Alex didn’t avoid all things feminine, she certainly didn’t rush to embrace them either.

The black sleeveless evening gown was what she settled on. She really enjoyed showing off the tattoos on her arms and she was tired of wearing shirts that touched her wrists for what felt like an eternity (even in a button down she usually had the sleeves pulled up to her elbows). Besides, the neckline was cut to mimic a suit’s lapel, dipping low enough down her modest cleavage to be feminine while also tasteful. She curled the waves in her hair a bit more so that they would actually stay, then ruffled up the whole thing a tiny bit to give herself a more wild look.

There. Now she looked more like a rock star who was going to get very drunk at an open bar.

————————

Johnathan’s mouth just about hit the floor when he took off Alex’s jacket for her like a good gentleman to hand it off to the coat room boy....only to see sleek muscles encased in intricate and very artful tattoos. Apparently this girl wasn’t kidding when she said she’d break him in half. He wasn’t out of shape, but he certainly didn’t look like -that.-

Alex couldn’t stand to watch Tessa being paraded around with the asshat and so made herself scarce right away. She had an obligatory dance with Johnathan and then the two split up, he so that he could find a woman who would appreciate him, and her so she could get hammered. There were servers milling about with wines and champagne...but Alex needed something a lot stronger if she was going to survive tonight. She headed straight for the bar, looking quite out of place amongst a bunch of old men ordering bourbon and scotch.

“Hey can I get a double Tanqueray and tonic please?” Alex asked as she dropped a ten into a remarkably empty tip jar. It was open bar, but she’d brought quite a bit of cash anyways to encourage the tenders to have a heavier hand.

“Of course. You know, I was starting to think the giant tip jar was invisible.” The bartender grinned, she saw this tattooed brunette who was so unlike all the stuffy old money here and immediately felt at ease, at least enough to joke. “Anyone ever tell you, you look like the leader singer in the band, After Curfew?” The bartender’s eyes were not very subtle as the roamed over Alex’s pretty face and her tattoos.

“Mhmm. Couple times. But that’s because I am.” Alex chuckled.

“What?! No way. I’m a huge fan!” The girl beamed as she began pouring out the drink. “Oh my God this is so cool.” She added the lime and straw then slid the drink over. “Really brave of you to show these off by the way, especially in a place like this.” The blonde ran a hand lightly over Alex’s forearm as she reached for her drink, “How much does that amount of ink cost anyways? I’ve got a couple of small pieces...was thinking of getting a bigger one.”

“Ah...about $15,000 for this arm,” Alex gestured to the full sleeve. It was nice to have a girl flirting with her...the singer’s smile was probably the brightest it had been all day. Hiding that she was a lesbian had been really wearing her down. Of course she was many things other than her sexuality...but hiding such a large part of herself, tucking away so many of her values, and denying herself affection from the woman she loved was soul crushing.

“6,000 for this one.” Alex motioned to her half sleeve, using the gesture as a way to get her a more appropriate distance away from the bartender. She was uncomfortable with the overly friendly blonde touching her. Alex was taken after all, even if she was the only one in this entire state who knew it and her girlfriend was off somewhere playing nice with some dickhead for the sake of her family.

“$15,000?!”

Alex shrugged at her surprise and took a sip from her glass. “Original work from amazing artists. Definitely worth the price-“

“Alex!”

Alex just about jumped out of her skin at her name being called by a very familiar voice. Her eyes went wide when she saw it was Tessa, not because she was guilty though! She had a very ‘-She- was flirting with me and I was just standing here!’ look on her face, which, was true. Alex was always honest in her relationships, if she wanted to break up with Tessa and pursue other women, she would do just that and not be sneaking around. “Tessa...hey...” she said lamely, not entirely sure what she was supposed to do or say because as far as the world knew, they were not together. If they were home she would have kissed her, hell if they were home they wouldn’t have been separated at a party in the first place. But out here...Alex didn’t really know what to do or what was acceptable.

“Tess wait, that’s a doub-“ Alex couldn’t even finish her sentence before Tessa had grabbed and gulped down her near-full drink. Oh boy. Her girlfriend wasn’t exactly a lightweight anymore but that was still a lot of really strong alcohol all at once. She was actually impressed she didn’t cough or make that much of a face once she’d downed the whole thing.

Apparently the liquid courage kicked in right away because Alex found herself being all but dragged by the smaller girl who was evidently on a mission. Pulling her across a crowded ballroom and into a secluded coat closet? Tessa wasn’t a prude or pushover in the bedroom, but all this seemed like a plan Alex would cook up and not her sweet little sub.

“Tessa, look, nothing happened, nothing was going to hap-mmph.” She assumed that she was brought in here to be yelled at and immediately went into ‘soothe the girlfriend’ mode. Her attempt was soon cut off by the smaller girl pressing an urgent kiss to her lips. The way Tessa kissed her, the way she grabbed her, Alex knew something much bigger was wrong. As soon as they came up for breath, her arms encircled her lover protectively as she poured out some of her bottled up emotions.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay Tess.” Alex kissed her tenderly. While Tessa’s voice had risen in pitch to express her discomfort, Alex’s lowered as she tried to calm and reassure her. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Her kisses began dropping lower, down her chin, to that elegant throat. “I am all yours and I’ll be wherever you need me to be alright?” Alex whispered into the tender flesh, warm breath flowing over the neckline of that red dress.

In all honesty, this was the first time Alex was really getting a look at her girlfriend in this dress, and she was really, really liking it. Tessa was so put together and Alex just had this urge to tear her apart and claim her. She had already started walking her lover backwards, stopping only when Tessa’s back hit the wall. “Tell me what you want right now.” Alex murmured as she came up to nip at her earlobe, giving that known weak spot a light tug.
 
Tessa knew nothing happened, and she trusted Alex enough to know she wouldn't simply cheat on her, but trust wasn't the issue. What bothered her, aside from spending an entire day under the gaze of a man she despised, was having to watch their relationship suffer because she was too weak-willed to stand firm for the best thing to ever happen to her. The very thought of losing Alex, of the singer getting fed up with her, was enough to terrify Tessa.

"I'm sorry, Alex. Today has been so awful..." Tessa started, barely holding back tears. She didn't even want to talk about how uncomfortable she had felt all day or how Dillon constantly tried to get close to her, causing her skin to crawl. She just... she had a bad day, and the one person who always cheered her up on bad days hadn't been there.

"Yeah..." She sniffled, opening herself up to Alex's kisses. She even managed to smile, comforted by how quickly her girlfriend moved to calm her. She could have stayed angry — Tessa deserved it, after all — but Alex didn't do that.

When Alex began walking her back, Tessa's smile widened, and she seemed to relax even further once there was little to no space separating them. She liked being between Alex and a wall, or any surface for that matter; it made her feel safe. Also, it gave her a rather narrow field of vision, one which focused on the enticing dress Alex wore to the gala. She felt immediate disappointment that Alex was in a dress and she hadn't been by her side to appreciate it, to dance and show her off.

Her disappointment soon turned to desire, however, with her eyes roaming across Alex's body. Tessa really loved everything about her girlfriend, and she didn't mind making her appreciation obvious.

"What I want right now..." Tessa's voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and it was followed by a very light, honest moan as Alex nipped at her ear.

"I want you to make me forget about the rest of this day." Tessa meant it, looking at Alex with the same emotions as before, with desperation to wash herself clean of all the unpleasantness that occurred while they were separated.

Tessa wrapped her arms around Alex's waist, keeping her close as she ignored her lips for a brief second and whispered in her ear, "I want you to make me forget, and I... I want you to mark me, so everyone will know." A bite mark, a hickey, whatever, she didn't care. She just wanted to make sure she had no way to retreat now that she had made a decision.

"You can do that for me, right?" Tessa asked, her voice more seductive and coquettish than usual. She even released her hold on Alex's waist and turned her body, giving Alex her back.

"Come on, Alex. Come unwrap your present." Tessa looked over her shoulder and shot Alex a provocative gaze, begging her to do it quickly. After all, there really was a surprise waiting for her under the expensive fabric, something that was just for Alex, something that Tessa had wanted to show her for days.
 
“I’ll do anything you want, sweetheart.” Alex said earnestly. As growly and as tough as could be as a top, the Domme was only happy if her sub was enjoying herself. Thankfully the majority of her desires and Tessa’s desires aligned; including their kink of rougher, more possessive sex. Usually she did leave little bite marks (as well as hand prints) on her lover, though had been on her best behavior since the request that she come out here.

Now Alex had permission to do what she wanted and it was absolutely -liberating-

Eager fingers found the zipper of Tessa’s dress when her lovely back was presented to her. She pulled it down, eyes lighting up as she saw a brand new addition once the zipper came to the small of her back. “Holy shit.” Alex gaped at the tattoo. The pale skin was still a little red and puffy because it was fresh, but there it was, clear as day: ‘CAGED’ written in musical notes, trapped in a breaking barrier of Alex’s favorite flowers, with a delicate script of ‘until I met you’ underneath it.

“I love it.” Honestly it was the sweetest, most romantic thing Tessa could have done. If she wasn’t so absolutely terrified when it came to long term, unbreakable commitment, she probably would have asked her lover to marry her right then and there. “Fuck, I love you. I love you so much Tessa” Alex couldn’t keep the grin off her lips as she peppered happy kisses and nibbles along Tessa’s shoulders. “You are amazing.”

Her heart felt lighter than it had in days and she finally felt as happy as she had back home. Alex was so amped up that couldn’t be bothered to undress Tessa all the way, she needed her lover right now. She let the fabric of her dress pool at her lover’s slim hips, held in place with the bow. Alex’s greedy, strong hands began roaming, running along her lover’s flat stomach, smoothing down her ribs and sides. All the while her lips grew hungrier, kisses turning into loving bites as she growled playfully.

Ever the impatient one, she tugged Tessa’s bra down so that she could play with her breasts, easily teasing the pebbled nubs to hardness. While one hand kept that up, the other worked its way down. She managed to squeeze her hand in the slight gap between the dress and Tessa’s hip, dipping lower to find her center.

“So wet for me already, huh babe.” She easily found her lover’s swollen clit, but then drifted past it just a little lower to gather wetness. “For me, and just for me, right?” Alex murmured in her ear from behind, teeth nipping at the arch of her ear just as her digits came up to circle around her clit. Part of her wishes to turn her girlfriend around, to see her face to face as she fucked her....but she could do that later, tonight, when they got back to her place or a hotel or wherever they ended up after the gala. For now she was aware that Tessa had nowhere to bury her face or muffle her moans this way, not while Alex was holding her up from behind and she had nowhere else to go but into a wall.

Her fingers began to move in earnest, playing Tessa’s sopping wet slit as well as she would any guitar. “You are going to be my good girl, and scream my name tonight, sweetheart.” Alex growled out the command just as her teeth latched onto Tessa’s upper left trap, hard enough to leave a bruise.
 
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Alex wasted no time once given permission to do whatever she wanted, but even then, Tessa felt impatient. She wanted to feel Alex's fingers against her skin, to have lips nibbling at her flesh. She wanted to be taken and claimed like she had been craving for days.

After all, after cohabitating for so long, each night sleeping in different beds felt excruciating, a fact Tessa hadn't been aware of until the trip. How long had it been since they spent multiple nights apart? Regardless of the answer, she didn't like it.

However, when Alex exclaimed aloud after pulling down the zipper to her dress, Tessa found a smidgen of patience, just enough to turn her head and smile over her shoulder. "Do you like it?"

She loved it, which caused Tessa to smile wider. She never believed herself to be someone artistic in the visual sense. Sure, she could draw and paint a little, but there was no style or substance, just some straight lines that looked alright but lacked the same flair her written word and musical scores could bring about. Yet, despite her handicap, she had spent a lot of time and effort thinking up what she thought was the perfect tattoo.

Knowing Alex liked it, Tessa wanted to brag, to show it off a bit, but that came to a halt the moment Alex said the words "I love you" a few times; she was a sucker for it, especially knowing Alex and how much her saying those words meant.

So, with just a few words and a couple pecks, she forgot about her bragging and moaned gently, skipping to the part where she tilted her neck to the side and offered up everything to Alex.

"I love you too, Alex," she whispered back as Alex quickly undressed her, strong hands roaming across her body. Her body felt particularly sensitive, reacting to every touch to the point that she couldn't even try to deny it when Alex teased her about her wetness.

"Only for you..." she murmured back, the words almost getting caught in her throat as she moaned again. Nobody knew her body like Alex, and nobody made her feel the way Alex did, so there could be nobody else.

In fact, Tessa was so enthralled by Alex that even the idea of crying out Alex's name only made her blush. Even if it meant letting the entire gala know, of embarrassing her parents and shooting past the point of no return, she had already made her decision, and she wouldn't change her mind. Besides, Alex wasn't asking if it were okay; she told Tessa that tonight, she would scream her name, and Tessa nodded.

---

What came after was nothing short of humiliating, with Alex doing everything she could to coax moans from Tessa's lips. One after the other, from delicate whimpers to mind-numbing orgasms, Alex pushed Tessa to cry out. By the time it was over, Tessa's throat was dry, and her ears seemed to be permanently shaded red.

How many people heard her? She knew the number wouldn't be that few. Even if most of the guests were inside the main hall surrounded by music and conversation, plenty would have ventured out during their long, much-needed lovemaking session. Then there were the staff members, who surely heard them.

Fortunately, despite looking a tad disheveled when they left the room, it wasn't too obvious, and the workers were well-trained enough not to say anything; the large amount of money shelled out by Tessa didn't hurt either. However, she still insisted on hiding in Alex's embrace, leaned against her as they left.

"I'll never be able to show my face again," Tessa pouted, though her usual playfulness had returned, giving it a far different feeling from the anxiousness of the past few days.

"I mean, usually... not everyone in the place knows who I am when we do that kind of thing." Still, she didn't hate it. She was embarrassed, but she had also been turned on more than usual. And it helped that she didn't really care about never going to another gala; she didn't like them anyway.

What she did care about, however, was the dryness in her throat. All she had drunk since the few sips of water she had at the horrid lunch with Dillon was Alex's drink at the bar, so she was parched.

"Mind getting me a drink?" she asked as they returned to the main hall, looking towards the bar with dagger eyes as if hoping the bartender would notice and get the message. After all, after being dragged away, Alex would be returning with some pep in her step and getting drinks for two. It was a win-win, a drink and staking her claim in one fell swoop.

Meanwhile, she planned on going to find somewhere to sit, finding her legs a little less than steady after their coatroom rendezvous. Yeah, she needed a rest, then maybe a dance with the woman she loved, even if she had a faint idea Alex would hate that. No, she definitely would, but that only made Tessa smile all the more.
 
It wasn’t often that Alex made specific demands for Tessa to say her name during sex. Usually her lover’s moans and strings of curses worked perfectly fine for her. But the days of being hidden had left her needing her own reassurances. She knew Tessa loved her, knew her girlfriend wanted her and only her...but after having to hear about a stupid successful boy, having to see Tessa get paraded around with him too...it had caused some doubts to surface. Not that Tessa would cheat, but mostly doubts in herself. She wasn’t an upstanding city councilman with a blossoming political career. Nor was she just a man who could give her lover a ‘normal’ relationship and normal life. Alex had already come to terms with the fact that her future and whatever family she built would look drastically different from her one she had imagined before she realized that she was gay...sometimes she wondered if Tessa thought about exactly how much she was giving up by choosing her.

But seeing the tattoo. Seeing her lover’s smile, hearing her profession of love...well maybe she did have a better grasp on things than Alex gave her credit for.

When it came to reassuring her and stroking the Domme’s bruised ego, Tessa did not disappoint. Moaning her name, even crying it out when Alex had slid two fingers into her and curled them. Tessa was much, much louder than she thought she would be. And of course this only fueled Alex further. She drew out every affirmation of pleasure from her lover that she could, until Tessa’s legs were weak and she could barely stand, until they had spent more time fucking in a coat room closet than anyone should.

Straightening everything up took a little bit of doing but wasn’t too bad in the end; Tessa’s underwear had been the only casualty of their encounter. Once they had fixed themselves up, they almost didn’t look like they had been fucking somewhere they shouldn’t have for way longer than they should have.

Almost.

Alex had that stupid smug smile on her face that she got whenever she had the chance to parade her sub around after causing her lover some humiliation. And she was just happy! Happiest she had been all trip. Happy about her present. Happy about giving her girlfriend a bunch of orgasms. Happy about spending the rest of her night with this amazing woman beside her. Even though she hadn’t cum, she felt fucking fantastic.

“Don’t worry babe, I’m sure everyone who heard will just be jealous that they didn’t get to have as much fun as you did at this gala.” Alex teased as they walked along.

When Tessa asked for a drink, Alex nodded, not missing the glare her lover sent over towards the bartender. “You are so cute when you are jealous,” she had leaned closer, voice dropping to a whisper. Aware that they were in a fancy establishment, she was still modest with her PDA, but this time she left a comforting touch to the small of Tessa’s back before she left to get them drinks.

————————

“Tessa Reigns I have been looking everywhere for you!” Daniel huffed as he plopped down next to his prep school classmate and longtime friend. “You know I hate talking to all these terribly boring people.” He motioned to all the sad politicians and old money bags who did nothing but gossip and connive. No one talked about anything of substance! No talk of passions, no talk of hobbies, no sharing of interesting stories...just dreadfully predictable gossip that he’d already heard 100 times.

“And! Your aunt told me she’d pray for me and my ‘life choices’ again. Honestly that woman has had it out for me every since I told her Addison wasn’t the right type to model one of my gowns.” Despite being a slightly effeminate, out of the closet gay man with a very successful fashion company, Daniel still managed to end up at these events. It was all his grandmother’s doing. Every year it was the same thing: grandma would ask him to design her a dress and then all but demand he come to these parties as her dancing partner. Then she would get tired after two waltzes and a foxtrot because she was 80, leaving the party and leaving him with nothing better to do than drink, snack, and people watch until his husband got off work.

At least this year he had Tessa to commiserate with.

There were three people in his life who accepted him for who he was: Tessa, his husband, and his grandmother. Honestly he was most thankful for Tessa, she had been the first person he had come out to ever and that experience had paved the way for him to just be out all the time.

“Oh my gosh, what happened to your neck?!” he gasped as he noticed the purple bruise just under his friend’s ear, immediately invading Tessa’s personal space to inspect for more, only to gasp further. “Were you mauled by a bear? Dear lord, and on the back...well, I honestly have to say I didn’t think you’d have that in you.” Daniel grinned, teasing because he had honestly thought Tessa would be one of those girls who only had sex in the missionary position until she died. “Where is he? Is he cute?” He turned to scan the crowd, as though Tessa’s mystery suitor would just magically appear at his summons.
 
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