The person above you awakens in a hospital bed and YOU say:

[Redmonkey]

I'm sorry but the doctors couldn't save your whole left side but the good news is you're all right now.

 

[Russian Vodka]

The surgeon removed your rock hard abs. You can finally chest bump again without rupturing some poor souls spleen.

 

[LordFlashheart]

Hmmm have you ever considered changing your user name to Ukrainian Vodka? How about just Vodka?

 

[Sync]

The surgeon confirmed you are NOT an "extra-terrestrial". Any more attempts to try and "flash your heart" are likely to be fatal.

 

[LordFlashheart]

I'm afraid you are no longer in sync with anything.

 

[WaveVelour]

"But milord, I thought you could handle my loyalty to the throne."

 

[LordFlashheart]

We had to remove the Velour. You will be known only as Wave now.

 

[Russian Vodka]

It appears the surgery was a success. Congratulations on your diamond studded, gold crown being grafted into your skull. Please be advised the additional weight may put your body off balance.

 

[LordFlashheart]

We do recommend that you never try and place a bottle in that particular orifice ever again.

 

[ƒeral]

we dub thee: 'lodflashheat'

no more r's for you

 

[LordFlashheart]

I would not suggest any more riots. Perhaps a nice caffe latte for you in future, hmmm?

 

[Saiya]

When we said you are electric, we didn't mean it literally!

 

[WaveVelour]

There, you should now be able to see again. Turns out your fringe was just too thick.

 

[ƒeral]

Bad news. Your hair has been permanently bleached. Might I suggest some hairdye products?

 

[Russian Vodka]

Welcome back to the world of the living. Wait. Why are you looking at me like that? I am not for your sucking pleasure!

 

[RichardSteele]

No one else thought you would pull through - but I knew you had the spirit

 

[Sync]

I'm afraid the surgery was unsuccessful. It turns out your heart doesn't want to be replaced.

 

[Yoga Princess]

Who was the woman sitting next to you in the car?

 

[Russian Vodka]

When you said to experience ultimate pleasure, this was not what I had in mind.

 

[Doctor Manhattan]

"They couldn't save your penis; I'm so so sorry. However, your birdbath was unharmed in the crash. So...positives?"