Is He A Lover or A Fighter {guitarfan2810 & WrittenFantasies}

"I don't get to choose when he works, but he gets to choose when I do?" She looked down. That was childish and she knew it. She didn't mean it like that. "We can try it out. I suppose." She corrected. "If you think it will help." She sighed, "It's not like he's tethered to Vegas. He can travel if he wants. I can take Owen with me but in order to do that I need a nanny to help while I work. We can be a traveling couple but he wants to set roots and do nothing else."

She closed her eyes and tried to remember that fight, "I don't remember. I think...I met with my ex for coffee to talk about somethings and Jake saw us and I was sure we were breaking up. I don't remember if there was an Owen fight. There was an arguement but never an all out fight."

She laughed and shook her head, "I don't have an assistant. I need my phone if a schedule changes. I can't just ignore phone calls." She shook her head again, "No he doesn't. Not often at least." She sighed and nodded her head, "Alright. Disconnect for a little while. I'll try." She promised.
 
The therapist shook her head. "I'm not saying he gets full say, but at least an opinion. That way if you two are sitting down together going over options you can explain to him, if I take this job then I won't take this one and be home for this amount of time and away for this amount of time. That way he is more aware of your schedule and your thought process when scheduling work. I think you both should have a say when you both work. Or at least be a part of the discussion. Communication here is key Adri."

"Let's discuss this fight...the one where you met your ex. Did Jake know you were meeting him? Why exactly did you meet him? And why did you think you two were breaking up? Did he say that?"

The therapist wrote a few things down. "I think you do need to disconnect. We can discuss later a good time management idea for you. You can spend time with them but set aside a half hour or so to check messages and make sure there were no changes. But if you sit down to let's say watch a movie or go out to dinner for that hour or two the phone should be off."

"Is there anything specif you want to discuss about Jake? Things that bother you? You've already mentioned you think he wants a housewife. Anything else?"
 
She rolled her eyes, "It was a mistake on my part. I was being stupid. Jake did not know. I don't know why I met him. To say goodbye. To make it final. I didn't need to see him to know it was finished. I just I don't know. I don't know." She said softly.

She nodded her head, "I'll disconnect then." She said softly. If it would help the relationship then she would do it.

She thought if she needed to talk about anything more of him. "No." She said softly. "Maybe." She said softly and shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know."
 
She nodded. "So then you can understand why he'd be confused if you didn't entirely know why you met him? Or why he was upset? Do you think he was valid for being upset or not? Was he more upset you didn't tell him or upset you met your ex?" She shifted in her seat. "Were you unsure if it was really over with your ex?"

The therapist nodded. "He should too, I can discuss that with him when we meet together."

"What is it? What's on your mind? You can speak freely here..." She assured, she was curious what she had to say.
 
"Yes, of course it was a valid reason for being upset. That I didn't tell him. He looked at me like I stabbed him in the back. He looked like he hated me." She remembered and looked down. "I knew it was over between my ex and I. He didn't. I went to tell him it was over and that I never wanted to see him again. When I got home, Jake looked at me like he hated me. The same look I gave my ex boyfriend."

She ran her tongue over her teeth, "Sometimes...sometimes I feel like we moved too fast." She said softly. "I'd love to be married to Jake one day but...maybe in a year or two. I want to be with Jake. I don't want to be with anyone else but why do we need to be married to show each other we love each other. I love him. He loves me. We know this. If I said that to him, he'd flip. He'd want the ring back. I don't want to give it back. I want to be engaged to him but I want to be an engaged couple."

She sat back and shrugged her shoulder. "We were dating, we rushed to move in together. We got a bigger house, we got a dog, he had a kid and then we were in engaged in less than 18 months. It's fast, isn't it?"
 
"Do you think he was just hurt that you didn't have the trust to tell him? Do you think he would have understood if you told him why you were meeting your ex?"

The therapist nodded to Adri saying she felt like they moved too fast. "I think you need to say that to him. Yes he may be a bit upset but we can work through those feelings. We can bring it up today if you'd like? We can do it here in a controlled environment. I think it is good you voice this to him sooner rather than later though. If you aren't ready, he needs to know."

She smiled a bit, "It is, but couples have done it faster, and some have done it slower. You go with your gut and your heart." She wrote a few things down. "Why is you want to just be an engaged couple? If you know you love him and want to marry him someday, why wait? Your career?"
 
"I don't know. I don't think he would have wanted me to go." She said softly. "I'm sure he was upset I didn't tell him but he hated me for a moment. There was hate in his eyes. I've never seen him look like that before." She sighed. She would never say it out loud but she felt like he would have hit her. If he was just a little bit angrier or she said anything else, he would have snapped and hit her.

"I can't say that to him. He will take it the wrong way." She said softly. "Don't bring it up." She told her and shook her head. "We didn't get out of here with out a fight last time. I don't want to go through that again. I'd like to leave on a happy note today."

She looked away. That didn't help. Her gut was telling her to wait. Her heart as telling her to dive in and get married. "Not just the career. Him, what if he does want Layla? What he changes his mind and wants to be with the mother of his child?"
 
Jake never would have hit her, no matter how angry he was. It was something that would be good to discuss with Jake though. The therapist just listened. "Well if you saw you two together, he probably first thought the worst. He had a lot of emotions. I don't know if he seems the type to hate you though..."

"Adri...you can't put things off because you don't want to fight. We are here to make your relationship better. I believe talking about your concerns will make your relationship better. This is big. This needs to be discussed. I think you should tell him and here would be a good place. A place neither one of you really can leave." They could, but would be harder too. "I can mediate."

"It seems like there is a bit of a lack of trust there. Maybe on both parts you feel? You are afraid he want's Owen's mother and he's afraid you'd choose something or someone over him. It seems we may need to work on the trust between you two. Have you talk to him about your concerns?"
 
"I can and I am going too. With this topic I will at least. I don't know, maybe I just need to plan the wedding and that will help me get into the spirit. It could just be me and cold feet." She shrugged her shoulder. "I'll tell him next week with you. Just don't bring it up right now."

She chuckled, "He told you about Liam?" She rolled her eyes.

"Thats the other thing. He's jealous. I have a reason to be worried about Layla. Jake is worried about the entire fricken world. I don't know how many times I have to tell him I am with him to get it through his head. I want him. Not anyone else."
 
She nodded. "Alright. I won't bring it up. Next week you can... Is that really what you think it is though? You need to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with Jake."

"I didn't say he told me about anyone. I was referring to your ex. I'm sure he was afraid you would choose your ex over him when he saw you two together. Or maybe he thought you already did...How would you have felt if you saw what he saw? Try putting yourself in his shoes." She shifted slightly.

"Why do you think he's jealous? You don't get jealous over anyone else but his ex? But tell me about this...Liam. Who is he?"
 
"That's what I hope it is." She said softly.

Adri raised an eyebrow and looked away. "I would have been upset. I would have been pissed. He was pissed. I get it. I get why. I apologized for it. He barely accepted it."

She shrugged her shoulder, "I don't know." She tried to think of someone else she got jealous of and shook her head, "No. Not really. And I ha a right to be jealous of Layla. She gave him his first kid. She took that away from me. Our kids won't be his first kids. He could want to be with her. He could change his mind about everything and give Owen his real mom and dad."
 
She nodded, "I want you to think about it until our next session. I want you to figure out what the real reason is. If it that you're not ready, you need to tell your fiance."

"But he did. Has he brought it up in past arguments? Has he been hateful about it since?" She asked.

"I'm not saying you don't have a right to be jealous of Layla. I was just curious. How often does he work with women or is around women for you to get jealous? You work with men from time to time, so it is easier for him to get jealous. Plus you haven't told me who Liam is."
 
She nodded her head to think about it over their small break.

"No he doesn't bring it up. We don't bring up past fights. We let it go." Adri answered.

"He doesn't have to work with women. He can work from home. If I had a job where I could work from home I would do it but I don't have that type of job. I want to spend time with shake and Owen. That's why I asked him to come with me here but he acts like Owen will forget that he was born in Vegas and lived in Vegas. Owen doesn't care as long as we are all together."

She let out a breath, "Liam is my bodyguard and before you ask, no I didn't tell Jake about it for two reasons. 1, we were barely talking to each other at the time. And 2, I had a panic attack in a little store that allowed me to sneak out of the back entrance. So I was a little scared and called for a bodyguard. I was going to wait to talk to Jake about it. I acted then because I knew what needed to be done. Did I know they would send Liam? No I didn't get a say who in they sent or what he looked like. I interviewed the three they sent and Liam was the biggest,toughest and scariest looking so he got the job."
 
"So he did accept the apology and hasn't brought it up or given you reason to believe it still bothers him?"

She looked at Adri. "Is it true to say you would rather move from Vegas? Do you think it's not so much Vegas Owen would miss or forget but his house and room. It is good for child development to have familiar things. That's how they remember things. Maybe that's just what Jake is thinking of."

She nodded the therapist thought of how to compare it to something she'd understand. "How would you feel if Jake just hired a female nanny without your say? Someone who would be around him and Owen? The company did send over three candidates for you to choose from? But you didn't let Jake contribute in that decision? Why?"

"Why do you think you make a lot of decisions on your own? Does Jake do the same or does he try to include you in the decision making?"
 
"Well he could say that. I dont know what's good for Owen or bad for Owen. I just do things and it works or it doesn't. If asking Jake and Owen and Max to travel with me every so often is tough on Owen's childhood then they don't have to come. But then they don't come and I'm the bad guy for being away. It's lose lose for me either way."

She srhugged her shoulder, "We were right in the dining room area, right next to the living room. If he wanted to join me in the process I wouldn't have kicked him out. He could have come over and joined us. I was obviously upset when I got home. I told him what I was doing, he said okay. From there he could have joined me or just sat on the couch and he chose the latter my that's not my fault. But a couple hours later all I got was him joking about how the tabloids said he should have been there. He didn't ask what happened or how I felt. So at the end of the day I didn't care what he thought. I hired Liam."

She shrugged her shoulder, "Because I don't like waiting. Because I am just that type of person. Because I'm a bad fiancé. Take your pick. I don't know he's the Saint so he probably does. He asks me about my feelings and my dreams and goals in life. He's the perfect one, I'm the one that's screwing up the relationship."
 
"Every so often can't be bad but if you're traveling more than you're home then it could just be confusing to him where home really is. He may have trouble sleeping places or be cranky for example."

The therapist listened and gave her a few nods before speaking. "Did he know that it was something you could do together? You did share you were fighting, do you tend to make decisions when you fight? You chose a new job, now Liam. Is that a pattern? If it is maybe he didn't know he could be part of the decision. You just made the decision to get one on your own maybe he thought you wanted to do it all on your own. I'm sure he wants you safe so he didn't argue you. Plus we talked the other day about him bringing up the bad. It could have been trying to support your decisions like you had asked."

"Why do you say he's the perfect one? Why do you say all of that?"
 
"Okay, I don't get why we keep bring up the job. I didn't know where Jake and I stood. At that point, I lived with him and worked for him and dated him. If we break up, I'm not going to continue to work for him. That's messy and complicated. If we break up and I don't work for him, I don't have a home and I don't have an income. So the logical thing to do was to find another job which I did. I had a back up plan if Jake and I broke up. The back up plan took off and I don't work for Jake anymore. It's probably best if I don't work for Jake anymore. I didn't do this behind his back. I had every reason to believe we were not together anymore so I got another job. That had NOTHING to do with this." She said angrily and annoyed that she kept coming off as the bad guy. It wasn't her intention to stab Jake in the back with a new job. She was protect herself from being out on the street. She went from being dependent to independent and that was a huge mistake for some reason. She was tired of it.

"Fine. From now on I'll never make another decision on my own. I'll just wait until he gives me the green light and then I'll let him take over on all decisions." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

She laughed a little, "Why wouldn't he be? I'm the fuck up. I'm the one making all the wrong decisions. So from now on he can take over and control the schedule and do whatever. If that's the answer that makes everyone happy then fine. That's how it'll be from now on."
 
"Adri, I'm just trying to understand. It seems like your work or at least your schedule with work seems to be a problem in your relationship so I'm just trying to get to the bottom of what is going on. Do you turn to work a lot when you two fight? "

She shook her head. "I'm not saying to give him complete control. You're in a relationship and live together. You're also engaged. You are now a team. When you play a game as a team, one person doesn't make the decisions for the entire team. You make them together. You discuss the choices. Even if you make the decision, you at least talk it over. For example, big purchases can cause strain in a relationship. One will make a choice buy something without discussing it and it causes a fight. It goes back to the communication."

She wrote a few things down. Adri's mind seemed to still be thinking single instead of as a family at times. "I'm not making things one sided. With the communication you both should be discussing things together. It may seem as if I'm attacking you because we're talking about you. Jake has plenty to work on too. Think of it this way, this job you just turned down, maybe if he knew what it was he wouldn't want you to pass it up. Maybe you two could figure out a compromise with it. Maybe he'd say take this one...then depending on the next turn that down. Maybe he won't be as negative as you think. But he could at least speak his concerns about it."

"Anything else you want to discuss?"
 
Adri shrugged her shoulder and nodded. "Yes all the time. Actually we usually fight about work before I have to go to work. And I can't really postpone a trip because Jake and I are fighting. We either talk about it when I get back or don't talk about it at all."

She nodded her head, "I will remember that for next time." She said softly and looked at her watch.

She shook her head to having something more to discuss. "I'm good. And Jake should be outside."
 
Jake sat out in the waiting room after he gave Owen kisses before his dad took Owen back to the penthouse. He wondered what Adri and the therapist talked about but he tried not to think too much about it.

The therapist wrote a few things down. "I just wanted to make sure you got to say everything you wanted to." She could tell she was trying to avoid certain things and she figured she did the same in her relationship with Jake.

"I'll go get Jake." She got up and within a few moments Jake was entering the room and he looked at Adri and gave her a small smile. He could feel the tension though.
 
While she waited Adri checked her phone and put it away before they came back. She smiled at Jake and leaned back in the couch to get ready for round two of what Adri does wrong in her relationship to Jake.

"So I enjoyed both of our conversations as separates but I am more excited for this conversation as a unit." She started.

"Before we begin, though, is there anything you want to talk to each other about. Either about last time or about our one on one meeting?" She asked and looked at Jake and then Adri.
 
Jake sat down next to Adri. He wanted to crack a joke to ease the tension but didn't.

Jake shook his head. He didn't want to get into anything really now. They could talk later if they wanted to about what each of them talked about. Most of his was just realizing, Adri probably really wasn't ready for the big steps they took. He was sure the therapist would touch on some topics sooner or later.

He glanced at Adri to see if she wanted to share.
 
Adri opened her mouth slightly and then shook her head.

"Alright." The therapist wouldn't push the subject but she hoped as time went on they would have something to say to arch other and feel good about doing it.

"Run towards each other for me." She waited until they were looking at each other. "Hold each other's hands." She added. Adri held her hands out palms up and looked at Jake. "Okay now I want you to look at each other.

"Do you trust each other?" She asked suddenly. "Don't tell me. Tell your partner."

Adri nodded her head, "I trust you."

"Are you satisfied with each other?"

Adri frowned a little but nodded her head. "Yeah."

"Do you feel accepted or supported?"
 
Jake turned towards Adri and grabbed her hands. He looked in her eyes and he couldn't help but smile a little at her. Then came the questions...

He nodded, "I trust you." He trusted she wouldn't cheat. But he didn't know if she would leave him or not. Or tell him she couldn't handle things.

It took Jake a moment, he was satisfied with her. "Yes." He just maybe wasn't satisfied with things they did or certain relationship aspects.

"Sometimes I feel accepted. But I do feel supported with my career. You are one of my biggest fans." And that was the truth.
 
Adri didn't answer and hoped it would be glossed over but she was wrong.

"Adri. Do you feel accepted and supported?"

Adri rubbed her lips together and looked at Jake, "No." she said softly and looked at down.

"Adri, I need you to look at Jake."

She sighed and looked at Jake again.

"Do you see a future with the person in front of you?"

Adri felt the tears in her eyes and nodded her head. "I do." That was the truth but her future didn't happen as soon as his did.

"Can you tell Jake why you don't feel accepted or supported?"

Adri sighed and rubbed her lips together, "I think he hates my job but admit it because he knows how much I love it."
 
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