The Archer(Lady/moon)

jamie_winchester

jamie_winchester

Cluster
Joined
Nov 30, 2010
The world had settled into knowing that they lived in extraordinary times. With avengers, fantastic four, x-men all fighting for them....and just as much, the super villians that fought against them. It had come common place for fights across the city and the world to be rsolved by the powers that be. Yet, some of the best of them, were the non-powered. The shield agents that quietly cleaned up after them, took care of the people as the avengers moved on to the next battle. Two of the best agents in the world, were Natasha romanoff and Clint barton. Even as grounded as they were at being just human, they were irreplaceable on their team.

“Yet, even their best, wasn’t enough in their current fight, against Loki, the jotun sorcerer having a long habit of turning up, causing chaos and pranks, before disappearing just when they had one. And yet this time, he was winning. And doing what your typical evil villian will do, doing a evil villian speech even as arrows, repulsor blasts, the shield, widow bites and hulks angry raging still sounded.

Valentina-Val- Skarsgard frowned slightly from her lookout above, curling her fingers around the bowstring in her hand, drawing it back even with her cheek with a fluid motion of strength, following the arrow singing through the air, waiting, waiting....

Silvery blond hair blew slightly around her, tied back out of her face, but there was only one true way to control nearly ass long hair, and that was to braid it, but for the moment it was a silvery wave around her. Bright blue eyes watched, cataloged the perfect shot and....there.

Uncurling her fingers just as the arrow whizzed across the air, she smirked quietly to herself as it cleanly split Hawkeye’s arrow in two, the exploding arrow falling harmlessly between the archer and the godling, exploding, causing chaos for a moment before the smoke cleared again. It hadn’t been for loki’s sake, or even hawkeye’s that she had stopped the arrow, but a simple desire to do so, and a calling to do it. Even as her own arrow spiked into the ground at loki’s feet as it finished it’s flight, the bright silver-nearly blue metal gleaming in the sunlight.
 
Loki delighted in causing chaos. true he wasn't about to kill anyone, not anymore. he didn't have the stomach for it. no he just caused headaches and extreme temper tantrums. he had felled the Green beast with nothing more than a Hulk based Catnip and now had the other pinned down and was wondering how best to fuck with their heads. turn them into rabbits or kittens for a few hours? perhaps revert their ages to mere toddlers? mishaps he should turn them all into those Lolita cat girls he had found on the internet. they where very adorable, Loki of course, being from other world, didn't realize they where supposed to be attractive. who would perv on little kids anyway? humans where foul. he had finally decided on turning them all into various neko creatures and had sung his arm to bat away the archers arrow, a last ditch attempt when the thing exploded. Clint blinked, and blinked again, staring in stunned amament at the arrow that had just cut his own arrow in two and looked up at Loki, who appeared to be just as stunned as he was.

he watched Loki look up, staring at a... woman. a woman, across the street. he turned to look at Loki again, the God of mayhem making a strangled... terrified noise in the back of his throat and vanished, right then and there, even though he was winning. he just up and left, leaving what was left of a doombot massacre. Loki had not been amused that Doom was trying to take out the avengers and had all but shredded the doombots and had turned Doom himself into a toddler just moments before taking on the Avengers himself. he was rather possessive of the group and often 'blocked' other super-villains from managing to do anything but annoy the Avengers. they where HIS Toys, not theirs and Loki did not share well. Doom was cursing up a wild storm as he returned back to adult form and fled the scene, vowing to 'teach that blue skinned fucker a lesson'. with Doom gone, Loki gone and only a mess left to clean up Clint reached out and grabbed the odd Arrow and yanked it from the ground, staring at it. it wasn't any kind of metal he'd ever seen before. he looked up, trying to find the strange girl on the skyline again. who was she? an archer of that skill who even Loki was afraid of.

"ugh...." Bruce groaned, sitting up, pupils blown wide. "whoa. like, Clint your like... whoa." Bruce breathed. that was just great, Bruce was higher than a damn kite thanks to Loki.. Doom was missing, he couldn't spot the cute lady archer and Coulson was already calling for cleanup! dammit! Clint shook his head and stuffed the arrow into his quiver so he could look at it with more detail later and settled in helping Coulson try to get the streets clear while Tony helped Bruce get out of the street, since Bruce didn't seam to be too eager to move. in the end, James Barnes, A.K.A Captain America had to pick him up and carry him to a more sheltered location with Bruce rubbing all over him like some sort of giant cat.
 
Valentina raised her bow slightly in silent salute as the godling looked at her, before leaving herself. Quite content with the chaos she’d caused even as she melted into the crowd that surrounded the battle, easily melting in as she shoved all that silvery blond hair under a hat, pulled on a looser t-shirt, silently watching them clean up.

By the time they all got back to the tower, even tony was tired and cranky glaring at Steve as the decidedly well rested man waited for them for debrief. “Later. I have mysteries to solve, and beautiful woman to find. And-Barton!”Tony twisted to look at the archer, holding out a hand. “Arrow. I know you have it. I want to see it. I didn’t recognize it,and I wanna see if I can make it. I’m awesome like that.I can make anything.”Tony huffed making a annoyed sound.

“Come on, let’s get him to bed. He can just sleep it off.”Natasha said looking at james, before looking down at the man between them.
 
Clint was sore, tired and he was pretty sure Loki had managed to do something to him because he felt itchy all over. he glared at Steve as well, damn the man who having that small happy little smile, glad that they where alright. Steve was the director of Shield now, and still one of the best agents in the world, though he could no longer work on the field. he was standing at the slight angle he always stood at now, hand on the black Cane that Tony had made just for the super soldier. Steve was very lucky to have kept his leg at all, but with the kneecap and shin shattered beyond repair even his Super Serum hadn't been able to heal the damage. Steve had a permanent limp now, bad rough that running, jumping and even swimming was impossible for him now. hell, some days just walking seamed an impossible task, even if he had a brace that was supposed to make such an activity less painful.

"no way Tony. get your own." Clint stated simply. "or you can have it when i'm done with it." he decided, slipping up into the vents before Tony could come after him, Steve laughing, the sound bright and cheerful. asshole, being cheerful when they got their asses handed to them. by Loki of all people! ugh. at least Loki had stopped killing people and trying to take over the world. they just... didn't know what the hell he was doing actually. he settled into his 'nest'. he loved the name really, and it did look like one. it was all kinds of pillows, blankets, shirts and clothes and stuff that he's stolen from the others. he liked to be surrounded by the people he loved, because more often then not they didn't last very long. he settled in and pulled out the strange arrow, turning it around in his hands. such an odd metal. strange design. not of the earth. Aesir?

"toss him in my bed. he settles down better when there's someone to snuggle." Steve pointed out. "i've been up all night doing all of your paperwork." he offered them all an annoyed scowl. "so the world had better be ending if you bother me while i'm taking my old man nap." he ordered, letting James walk both him and Bruce down the hall to bed. everyone but Tony knew that Steve would be helping Bruce through his high by having long passionate sex. Bruce loved having long passionate sex with Steve. most of the Team and a good umber of Shield agents where regularly having sex with Steve. the only person who didn't know about it was Tony. and that was because Pepper had threatened castration on anyone who dared tell Tony. of course, Pepper was no longer dating Tony so Tony might actually find out now.
 
“Hey old man. How you doing today?”Tony muttered glancing at the man, eyes flicking over the super soldier, as he always did. Even aware that he’d helped as much as he could, the man was always working on a way to fix the knee, to try and work with it. Frowning a clint he scowled. “But I want it!”Tony whined looking at Steve. “Make him give it to me.”he grumbled, looking annoyed before huffing a little. “....I’ll see you guys later. Have fun with your old man nap.”Tony snickered watching james and steve head down the hall before heading for the lab.

Later Jarvis spoke to clint, the AI for once, sounding oddly...bemused. “Agent Barton?Sir has requested your presence in the lab.”indeed, tony had reached out for clint and coulson, because he didn’t want to wake up steve, it was saddening really, that he had no idea steve was busy having sex, instead of taking a nap, cause he’d totally be interrupting that with his discovery, but for the moment, he was settling for the two shield agents.
 
"i'm doing well actualy. Bruce managed to come up with a new pain medication that works with the Serum so i'm actually a little stoned right now." Steve admitted with a chuckle. he had become very adept at modern living so hearing him say such things was rarely a surprise these days. thankfully, the pain was not an everyday thing. usually his leg only hurt when he used it too much or it was cold out."you can't have it, it's mine!" Clint called. "sorry Tony. but he did find it first. he said you could have it once he was done." Steve assured the man. "Later Tony." he agreed, limping down the hall so he could sex up Bruce, and maybe James too.

Clint looked up from where he had been examining the Arrow again. so far he had found nothing. nothing interesting at all about the arrow other than it's design and it's metal. he nodded to himself when Jarvis spoke and slid down the vent with practiced ease and dropped down into Ton's lab, setting the arrow down on the table before heading over to Tony. "what's up poindexter?" he asked, his head tilted a little.
 
“Good.”Tony said smiling at the other, relaxing a little before sulking. “fine.I’ll wait.”He grumbled annoyed at having to do it.

Tony made a face at the other for the nickname but didn’t protest as he smiled slightly. “I found your girl. She works for Von Doom.”Tony said pulling up the pictures of the fight before, the blond woman across from the fight, and the video that jarvis had found from von doom’s visits to the UN, with his very blond bodyguard in tow. “There’s no listing beyond her name, Valentina, but she shows up about a year ago in his company, and hasn’t left his side since. Of course, she was with him today, which might explain why she freaked out when loki messed with him today."
 
Clint lifted an eyebrow. "so she works for Von Doom. that sucks." he admitted, staring at the picture. "like, a lot." because he had wanted to seduce her. well, no saying he still couldn't it would just be a lot harder. "Valentina." he muttered. "no other background information? maybe she's one of those poor Hydra babies." everyone felt a little bad for the babies Hydra kidnapped and raised to be assassins. Natasha included. not all of them had as happy of a story as Natasha did either. "it's weird though, she didn't go after us at all, just Loki. wouldn't she want to stop us from hurting him too?" Clint wondered, frowning a little. "so she just random as hell shows up and Doom just accepts she's going to be there. something doesn't smell right." he admitted, shaking his head. "i couldn't' get anything off the arrow myself, it's all yours. lets see what you can dig up Bill Nye." he chirped, clapping Tony on the shoulder before heading back out of the workshop to find something chocolate before heading out int the city to see if he couldn't find any other clues. maybe where she had been standing? a piece of hair or some foot prints, anything would do, he just wanted a little bit more information.
 
"Yea.it does. She's to pretry for the megalomaniac. We're going to have to steal her away."tony said smirking."besides she's a archer. Even if it doesn't have alot more of information, there's gotta be a low number of people who has a talent like that."he said looking slightly worried at that."she might be a hydra baby, but it doesn't explain how she ended up in latervia with doom."tony sighed a little."I don't know. Maybe she was worried loki would kill him where we haven't killed anyone yet. But yea. You're right somethings not right."he said before grinning as he growled,"don't call me that!"he whined even as he took the arrow.

Valentina herself was settled into the coffee shop across from the latervania embassy enjoying the city's best coffee and simply crowd watching, raising a eyebrow a little when she saw the avengers walking across from her out the window
 
he nodded. "she is pretty. i saw her first. i get dibs." Clint stated, flashing Tony a grin. "she is an archer, and a really damn good one too for that matter." he admitted. "i wanna know who trained her." he admitted before smiling a little. "that's an easy enough answer. either Doom joined with Hydra, or Doom is being watched by Hydra." he pointed out. "you might have a point. or she was annoyed that Loki turned him into a baby." he mused. "Loki hasn't exactly been villain of the ear after all." he admitted. "it's more like he just wants to humiliate us and give us headaches more than anything else." he admitted, shaking his head. "if u can call me Legolas, then i can call you Bill Nye!" he called back.

Clint wasn't entirely sure this was going to work. honestly, he knew Doom was in there, the asshole. stupid American politicians who knew Doom was Doom and let him in the country anyway because 'it was his right as the leader of a country' bullshit. even Steve thought they where dumb as hell. "so. what, we're just going to sit here until she comes out?" he asked, looking at Natasha, raising an eyebrow. "or are we sneaking inside?"
 
Tony pouted, sulking a little before nodding. “Fine. Only because she’s a archer. I’d have nothing to talk to her about.”the man said making a face before snickering. “I’m sure you’ll get a chance to ask her.”He said before sighing.”True.Good point.....and well, that might be it. No one enjoys their boss being a baby.”tony said before nodding. “True. He is a pain in the ass. And fine, if you must.”

Natasha sighed shrugging a little. “I was going to give it a hour, and if she doesn’t come out, then break in. It’s foreign soil technically, it’d be bad to be caught breaking in. Besides, she was with doom this morning, which means her shift should be ending soon. Hopefully she’ll have a apartment elsewhere.”Natasha said sipping her coffee, smirking to herself as a tall woman walked out, and even if sunglasses were hiding blue grey eyes, the wide headband did little to hide silver blond hair, even if the hair damn near hide the bow going down her spine. “Ye of little faith.”
 
Clint smirked a little "she is an Archer." he agreed. "that makes this destiny you know. mates for life and all that, ow she just needs a feathery name. maybe Dove, or Hummingbird or Eagle." he mused before snorting. "if she's Hydra, i highly doubt that Doom is ever going to be anything but an annoyance to her, let alone a boss." he scoffed, shaking his head. "i must."

"....good plan." Clint agreed, shaking his head a little. "how do you know she doesn't always follow him? we do, when we're on detail." he admitted before perking up at the sight of the archer, abandoning his disgusting thing that Natasha had ordered for him. it tasted like coffee. Clint hated coffee. he'd only drink it if the taste was drowned in creamer and sugar and preferably heavy amounts of chocolate, caramel or sweeter than life vanilla. this thing in front of him was none of those things. "okay, okay, you win. i'll give you a kitty treat when we get home." Clint teased her. "or maybe you'd like a nice man whom you can mate with and then rip his head off?" he offered, sliding out into the street and flicking his own shades down, not that it hid his identity at all. he was more focused on the tech on the inside of the glasses. as much as Stark annoyed the hell out of him, Tony had the best toys.
 
"Because would you want to spend all day with doom if you could have a few hours to yourself?”she pointed out looking amused. “If you give me a treat I might beat on you.”she said before rolling her eyes. “Go. Stop being a pain in my ass.”Natasha said rolling her eyes as she watched him go, following even further away, trusting him to take care of himself, but following close to stay backup if he needed it. Looking startled as they reached a apartment building. Wondering if it was a temporary place, or if this was actually her home. Smirking slightly as she settled across the street, settling in to watch Clint try to get inside the locked building after her.
 
he paused and then. "that is a very good point." he agreed. "remind me to slip him a few dozen laxatives if we see him." he ordered before smiling innocently at her. "but you love the kitty treats i get you. the chocolate ones you know?" he teased her, slipping out before she could cause him bodily harm. he watched the woman slip into the apartment building, his head tilted before smirking a little. "piece of cake." Clint stated, cracking his knuckles and then his neck before crawling in through a vent that shouldn't have possibly been possible for him to get into. from there it was easy enough to slip into a hallway and activate his glasses again. he had taken the liberty of spraying the ground in front of the Latveria building with an invisible ink that would stick to the bottoms of shoes and leave glowing footprints that Clint could follow once he activated his glasses. once they where activated, it was just a matter of following the trail once he found it. he was wary though, she was just as good, if not better than him. he had no doubt she knew he was there, he just had to make sure he found her, before she found him.
 
“I always have good points, you should listen to me more.”Natasha said rolling her eyes a little at the innocent smile. “Whatever. Go, Barton.”She grumbled, though it amused her cause she did enjoy the treats, even if she’d never admit to it.

Valentina indeed had figured out that she was being followed. No matter how good he was, he was still recognizable as a avenger, even as low key as his publicity was given that he was usually higher then most of the public eyesight, she was used to finding things out of sight, of keeping a eye out. Settling onto her balcony to wait for him, she hand her bow in her hands and pointed at the floor, waiting for him to come in the door, before frowning slightly. Glancing up as she heard him. Her hearing was nearly as good as her eyes. “....Vents?Seriously?How do your shoulders fit in them?”She asked from the door, but not stepping back into her apartment.
 
there was a low chuckle when she spoke and with a twist he was out of the vents, grinning at her while he rolled his shoulders, each one giving off an almost shattering sound as he popped them back into place. "grew up in a circus." he explained, taking a moment to stretch each arm. "trained myself to be double jointed." he flashed her a grin and then settled next to her, looking about as harmful as a fluffy gerbil. "so, hey. i wanted to thank you for saving our asses. against Loki i mean. well that and try to seduce you away from Victor Von Doom, because he's a grade A Asshole you know." he admitted, watching her. "we have all kinds of better perks with the Avengers. like all the chocolate you can eat, awesome beds, and no sexual harassment." he pitched. "not to mention all of Tony's super awesome toys.plus we have a whole ton of pretty people to look at instead of robots and Doom's ugly mug."
 
Valetina shuddered at the sound of his shoulders popping, “That’s nearly as bad as listening to Doom monologue.”She said shifting away from him, even as she leaned back against the balcony railing, though she did lower the bow to the ground she did keep the arrow in her hands. Trusting him enough to not be armed with a bow-not that it’d be overly helpful with him so close, but keeping a small weapon close at hand. Trusting, but not that trusting. Even if he did look like a over eager puppy. “...Loki’s bored. He wouldn’t have done more harm then he was currently doing. I wasn’t saving anything.”She said simply before smirking. “I know he is.”She said raising a eyebrow, as tempting him to tell her something she didn’t know, before snorting. “You live with both a newly single Tony Stark, and your commander who puts a new meaning in manwhore. Sexual harassment is expected.”She pointed out, unwilling to be disturbed. “Besides, I have some awesome toys of my own, and more then enough pretty people to watch besides Doom. though you're right, the metal mask sorta messes with my seeing Doom as a sexual person"She said sounding thoughtful, as if seriously considering sex with doom. Which left to wonder, was she serious, or just fucking with him?
 
he snorted, actually looking faintly hurt. "nothing i as bad as one of Doom's monologs." he scoffed before grinning at her, well aware that she was remaining armed, reaching down into his boot and grabbing his knife he flipped it so he was holding the blade, offering her the handle. "here. might be a bit easier to use on my face than the arrow." he pointed out before looking at her as if she was insane. "Bored. Bored!? he turned all of Manhattan into Cats!" he protested. "he turned the entire central park into chocolate! he turned all of Manhattan into an ice sheet! he... he.... holy fuck how did i not notice that!?" he wondered, sounding stunned. "he's freaking bored!? i am so telling Thor to go entertain his asshole of a brother, i'm sick of feeling with the point green drama queen!" he complained. "by the way, speaking of mean green, why is it that you scare the hell out of him?" he wondered, studying her. "i've never seen him vanish so fast, not even when the Hulk manages to catch hold of him." he admitted.

"okay, one? Tony doesn't hit on people, he's too heart broken, and two?.... yeah Steve is a whore but he's not that bad. he'll politely ask you if you want to go on a dinner and join his harem and if you say no then he never bothers you again." he pointed out. "he's really good at sex though." Clint admitted with a chuckle. "plus, Shield has a much better health plan than Doom does." he admitted. "and it's a lot less of an annoyance. considering you can punch your boss in the face and he won't really care... in my defense, it wasn't me, and he deserved it." Clint lied, looking very much like a puppy that was about to do something naughty. "have you seen his face under the mask? trust me the mask is an improvement." he assured her with a chuckle before recoiling from her, looking very horrified. "oh, my god. no. just. no. that's not even funny. i'm going to have nightmares now because of you. gross. ew. if your going to make sex jokes about Doom i'm leaving." he warned her, eyes glittering with laughter.
 
“Hm, I said close. Not as bad.”She said raising a eyebrow at the offer, before taking it, setting the arrow aside, “Speaking of weapons, I want my arrow back.”She said watching him as she pocketed the knife, keeping it in easy reach, but with the obvious intent of keeping ahold of it. “Yes bored. And he likes cats. Less annoying then people.”She said snickering. “And you got to admit, that chocolate was awesome. It tasted good.”She said before snorting. “Cause you’re just a sidekick. On a low shortage of brains to think about why gods do things.”She said snidely, though the wicked laughter in her eyes said she was making fun of him, simply because she could. “....I propositioned him once. Females and sex scare him.”She said loftily, not about to give the real answer.

“....Hm. I never took you for the gay on in your group. I guess it sorta makes sense now though.”She said thoughtfully, before snorting. “...Why am I not surprised you’re the one who punched him?”She shook her head in amusement, before wrinkling her nose a little. “Not much better. Have you seen pictures of him from before? He was quite beautiful really.”She mused before snickering at his reactions. “Good. You should have nightmares about that, I do. And I’m sure if you stick around long enough, I’ll think of more sex jokes about doom.”She promised.
 
he snorted. "close, is just as bad an insult." he pointed out. "i'm not even as bad as Tony is and Tony's adorable." he pointed out. "i am, however worse than Pepper is." he admitted with a smile before shrugging. "sorry. it's out of m hands now. Tony has it and i'm not sure it's going to be an arrow by the time he's done with it." he admitted before groaning. "of course he likes cats. flee mitten mongrels." he didn't like cats. they pissed o his shoes, clawed his furniture and his face and made him sneeze. "....i admit nothing and i certainly don't admit that i have a chocolate tree that stayed chocolate stashed somewhere. the leaves are the best part but the bark is pretty damn good too. the Pith inside is kind of sub par but the gooey sap inside is like heaven." he admitted with a grin. "and since it's still technically alive i just planted it in the dirt and have a complete source of awesome chocolate." he admitted. "i'll show you sometime, it's the best." Clint really needed to get a lit on his sugar addiction, honestly.

"...hey! i am NOT a sidekick!" he protested, sounding quite fired up about it. "that's not even funny! just because Stark has money, Steve is pretty and Hulk is terrifying doesn't mean that me and Nat are sidekicks! it's not MY fault people pay more attention to them!" he whined, hanging off the bars of the railing, looking like, you guessed it, a kicked puppy. "oh that's sick!" he complained to her. "Doom shouldn't be getting laid ever." he complained, shaking his head. "i'm not. i'm bisexual." he admitted. "i do lean more towords females but come on, who says no to Captain America?" he asked with a grin. "now i'm not saying i did, but if it had been me, which it wasn't, it was only because he ate the last of my chocolate cake." he assured her before shaking his head. "Doom, beautiful? i can't see it." he admitted before snorting at her. "you, you are not funny, not at all..." he paused when his phone went off. "hey Cap, sorry, commander... still haven't gotten used to tha...." he paused and then. "he's doing what?... seriously?" Clint asked, sounding stunned. "...fine... i'll be right there." he groaned, snapping his phone closed. "sorry gorgious, i have to go. Loki's turning people into..." here he paused and tried to hold back the snickers. "sorry. Loki's turning people into miniature Zoo Animals. i have to go stop him. again." he admitted with a sigh. "keep the knife!" he offered, leaping off the Balcony and onto the ground three stories below without a scratch and headed off to go stop Loki. again. dammit.
 
“You are not adorable. But I agree, Stark’s as cuddly as a kitten really.”Val said looking amused before snorting. “They’re not all flea bitten. And he likes cats cause they sort of act like him. Just call him LoKitty if you want to watch him freak the hell out, and go away for awhile.”Despite Loki not liking, or wanting to be near her, she did get along with him somewhat, as long as there was no hint of a actual fight going on somewhere nearby that he could lose. “....That’s unfair. I want a tree.”She sulked before rolling her eyes. “You just want to have a excuse to take me somewhere....and I think you might need to see someone about your addiction. It’s bad.”She teased a little.

Val raised a eyebrow, “You are definitely the sidekick. I mean, Romanoff definitely is Cap’s newest sidekick.”She said peacefully, unwilling to be ruffled or feel bad at the look he was giving her. Snickering at his complaint, before nodding. “I agree. Commander Rogers is quite nice to look at. He even has the brains to go with, truly the best of human perfection.”She said, unwilling to look at the interested part of her libido that was interested in the archer in front of her. Raising a eyebrow as she listened, tilting her head. “Well. Have fun with that.”She said looking amused she headed inside and turned on the news to watch the fight.

“Hawkeye, where’s your girlfriend?We could use someone to scare Reindeer.”Tony scowled from where he was trying to corral on polar bear cub, a lion and a tiger, sounding annoyed to be corraling animals instead of going to deal with loki.
 
he pouted at her. "i am totally adorable. everyone says so. i'm like those cute little golden puppies that flop all over themselves because i, like them, are adorable, clumsy as hell, hyper, and adorable." he admitted with a grin before huffing. "they look like Loki too much, and they make me sneeze. they're fleabitten." he grumbled before giving her a very sharp grin. "i'll have to keep that in mind." he agreed. "well, i suppose i could share mine with you. but you have to swear not to take too much at a time ot it'll get sick and die and rancid chocolate sucks." he warned before grinning at her. "nah, i just want to have an excuse to talk to you really." he admitted before huffing. "i do not have an addiction! why does everyone seam to think that? it's completely not true!" he complained. "if i had a problem i would have a chocolate stash and i don't!" he did too. several of them, strategically placed in all of the vents. and not just at Stark Tower either.


"i am not a sidekick!" he protested before pausing. "....well fuck. our right. she is a sidekick... fine but i get to be James sidekick because Bruce scares me and Tony's annoying." he grumbled, sulking before he smirked at her. "or i could be your sidekick. that would be pretty sweet right?" he asked with a grin. "Steve's one of the best guys ever. it's kind of a shame he won't ever be able to settle down and have a nice family." he admitted. Steve's Libido was so strong that if he tried to be monogamous, he'd probably sex whoever he was with to death. "you know, he'd totally take you in if you asked him." Clint admitted, struggling to hide the jealousy at the thought, he didn't hide it well enough because even he could hear it leaking into his voice. "oh yes... fun..." he agreed, dry as the desert. "i'm gonna kill that cockblocking twinkle toed bastard." he hissed once he thought he was out of earshot. he wasn't. "sidekick! i'll show her sidekick! i'm not a sidekick!" he complained.

"she's not my Girlfriend yet." Clint huffed. "Loki's a cockblock!" he complained. "i was going to get her to see my Chocolate tree!" he whined, snagging a pair of doves out of the air. well, they might have been pigeons. he wasn't sure. there where too many damn birds and he knows Loki only turned James into a dove because he knew they'd all be focused on trying to find a bird amidst thousands of birds the asshole. "oh... oh wait..." Clint stood up and looked at the laughing 'god of terror' "HEY! LO-KITTY!" Loki froze and turned to stare at Clint, looking utterly mortified. "HOWS THAT KITTY CRUSH GOING?" there was an instant of silence before everyone turned back into people again, James falling off a few power-lines to hit the ground, while Loki vanished in a puff of smoke. "well damn, it worked." of course, it only worked because Loki was now across town yelling at Val for sharing that information. he smirked to himself and shook his head, moving over to James to help him up. "you okay man?" "...i ate bugs..." James said, sounding mortified. "i... i shat on Tony!" James admitted, still sounding rather horrified even if Clint was laughing now.
 
“You mean the ones that aren’t housebroken and piss all over themselves?Yes, I can see it.”She said smirking at him, before rolling her eyes. “We’ll have to agree to disagree on the subject of cats.”She snorted amused before smiling slightly. “Fine, I promise not to take to much....and you do. I just saw you fall out of my vents, I’m sure you have candy stashed somewhere.”Valentina smirked a little.

“You just said tony was adorable. But you’ll have to discuss the sidekick status with Romanoff, I mean, she’s the one dating him.”She pinted out before laughing. “Like I said, I don’t have time for sidekicks.”She said rolling her eyes before nodding. “I’m sure it is....and I told you. I’m working with Doom, sorta limits the whole sex with Avengers.”she said looking thoughtful at the jealousy, before snorting as she heard the other’s words. That was just amusing.

“....If that’s a metaphor, I’m sorry to inform you that you are in no way the size of a tree.”Natasha said smirking a litlte even as she was searching for James. “What?”Tony paused nearly falling out of the air at Clint’s yell he was laughing so hard. “You did shit on me. But you’re forgiven, if only cause Barton here’s found a way to make the annoyance go away.”Tony said looking amused as he flicked the faceplate up and walking over, looking james over, worried as Natasha helped James to his feet. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”She muttered gently brushing feathers out of his hair.

Valentina looked up from the tablet she was playing on, raising a eyebrow at the god. “Are you done yelling yet? Cause I have things I need to go be doing, so if you can wrap this up...”
 
he pouted at her again. "you think you are funny, but you really aren't. your mean and cruel." he complained, offering her a grin. "i don't have any chocolate stashes here. although i'll take that as a backhanded offer to let me around often enough to need a chocolate stash." he teased with a snigger. "Tony is adorable. you know. when he's not talking." he admitted with a grin before he looked almost crestfallen. "and i keep TELLING you, i'm not a sidekick!" he whined, jotting down an few numbers, one latitude, one longitude before darting off to handle Loki. he wasn't entirely sure why he'd shared his chocolate tree information with her. it wasn't exactly in an easy to access plot. in face, it was in the sewers. or rather, a very big cave that was connected to the sewers. it was his hidey hole, he stashed all his best things in there. most of it stolen. not that he would ever admit to that. of course not.

"it's not a metaphor." Clint scoffed rolling his eyes. "i may have replanted one of the chocolate trees Loki made while you guys where busy fighting." he admitted. "is THAT why you where gone for eight hours?!" "....maybe." "you jackass!" Bruce complained, eye twitching and Clint adopted his most potent puppy face. no one could stay mad at Clint for very long. or rather, Bruce, James and Steve couldn't. sometimes it even worked on Natasha! Bruce growled at him and shook his head, focusing on James instead while trying to keep his pants up. "nah, it was Val who made the suggestion." Clint admitted. "i will have her joining the Avengers in no time!" he decided. "or i'll end up joining doom for her, it's about fifty fifty." "Clint! That's not funny!" James snapped, rolling his eyes, mostly because James wasn't sure if Clint was joking or not. "i'm okay.. it was just a shock... i need to brush my teeth. i ate BUGS." he complained to her, flexing his metal fingers. he was going to have to get Tony to look at his arm, it was aching.

Loki glared at her, annoyed that he was being ignored. "how am i supposed to get Thor's attention, when he never shows up for this!?" he demanded. at least she hadn't spilled that secrete! it wasn't just boredom, he wanted Thor to pay attention to him. he had been ignored so long that he was resorting to misdeeds, because at least then Thor, the Avengers, anyone would pay attention to him, even if it was just yelling at him. "oh never mind, go away!" he complained. "and stop popping in during my battles you freak me out!" Loki complained. mostly because he knew no one would die from what he was doing so if she was showing up then it was HIS life on the line!
 
“I am truly hilarious.Just because you have no sense of humor, it doesn’t mean anything.”Val said smiling at him, raising a eyebrow. “...If you must. I might be willing to let you put chocolate here.”She said before snickering. “Well. I can see that, when he shuts up.”She said before rolling her eyes as she took the slip of paper looking thoughtful.

“...What?”Natasha looked startled, before shaking her head. “Dammit Clint.”She grumbled lookign at Clint, just rolling her eyes at the other’s puppy face. “Really?So I can look forward to making a awesome girly bow for her?”Tony perked up at the idea before taking a swipe at clint’s head. “Don’t say stuff like that! I don’t want to have to tell Steve you’ve gone to the dark side.”Tony grumbled. “Bugs aren’t that bad. We’ve had some before covered in chocolate.”Natasha pointed out as they headed back towards the tower, smirking at the sound of tony heading back, mumbling to himself, even without hearing the words clearly, she knew he was already thinking about how to fix the arm. “Come on, Cap let’s get you back to the lab.”Natasha muttered smiling as they arrived at the tower, glancing at clint. “So. Fill us in what we missed out on your meeting.”

“....I could shoot you. I mean. It wouldn’t kill you, but the arrows can cause wounds. It’d make him come see what was going on.”Valentina said turning off the tablet as she looked at him, sighing quietly as she stood. “I know. It amuses me. And you know I can’t always ignore it. Sometimes I’m summoned without knowing why....sorta like taking care of arrows before they blow up your ass.”Valentina wrinkled her nose a little, rubbing a thumb over the paper in her hand. “Want to go on a adventure with me?Freaking out Doom amuses me, and I need backup.”She said because she wouldn’t put it past the avenger to have set a trap for her, for some reason.
 
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