Recovery (Avengers) Moon/Lady

[FoxWriter]

It had been a pretty bad Month for America. The News was full of the same horrible story. Captain America had gone missing for about two weeks, during which there was three epic battles for the safety of the world. The other superheros managed to save the world of course, and keep America safe but the missing Captain America had made a good many people worry. Some more than others. It was only when Tony Stark hacked Shields Database to find Steve's home address that Captain America was found, bleeding out in a bathtub, wrists slit upwards of five or six times in a desperate bid for death. He would slit his wrist, bleed until he passed out, and then heal only to do it all over again once he got so high on a lethal cocktail of methamphetamine, Ketamine, Heroine and Cocaine. A mix so potent that even the Hulk probably would have keeled over. When Tony found Steve, he was so high he was catatonic, bleeding profusely from two new slashes, and filthy from not showering in two weeks and... well, he hadn't gotten up to go to the bathroom so... he was naked, filthy, sick and high and it was a miracle he hadn't died despite the Serum continuously refusing to let him die.

The news had been quick to latch onto the story, the little bit they had. The entire world only knew that Captain America, identity still unknown, had tried to kill himself. They did not know how many times he had tried, thy did not know about the lethal injections he'd been giving himself. They did not know he'd soiled himself because he was too weak, too high, too hurt to leave to go to the bathroom. They did not know and they did not need to know. They really already knew too much, speaking to psychologists who said the culture shock was probably a large contribute, added to PTSD and grief of knowing everyone he'd loved had died. It was enough to make most of the other superheros cringe, realizing that none of them had bothered to wonder if Steve was settling in, if he had friends or if he was sad everyone he knew was dead. Phil Coulson and Nick Fury where taking it particularly bad and Nick was often seen talking to Steve's unconscious form in the hospital. The brutal mixture of blood loss and drugs leaving him in a Coma. Which was a good thing, since Steve hated hospitals so much he'd run away again rather than sit in one and let the docs poke and prod at him.

Then the next blow came. A week after Steve had been hospitalized, he went missing again. The world thought he'd run away to recover in peace. The superheros knew that Steve rogers had been kidnapped by a man wearing a leather combat suit and lank dirty black hair. Hospital Surveillance had not been able to get a clear enough picture of the kidnapper to get an ID, but Fury was hopeful that Steve would be able to wake up and take out the kidnapper and come back, but considering how many times Steve had slashed his wrists, he had more hope in finding a mutilated body than he did a living captain. Despite those fears, Steve had in fact woken up, bleary, confused and sicker than a dog, rolling onto his stomach, hanging his head over the edge of the bed he was laying on and heaving. Too weak still to do anything else.

 

[jamie_winchester]

Tony stark had taken the captain’s near death even more brutal then the rest of the community had done. Retreating to his lab for hours, days....weeks at a time until he collapsed himself and had to be hospitalized for his own bad habits. The fact that the avengers weren’t officially a team, had been scrapped from shield’s plans, didn’t mean that tony hadn’t adopted his certain heros, the ragtag teams that he’d still want to work with over others. The fact that he’d latched onto steve like a puppy with a bone, even if he’d been letting steve come to him, instead of seeking him out, was something that the man bitterly regretted now. Tony was a man who wouldn’t force his company on others, so he hadn’t tried to get closer to steve then the man allowed. Hated that he hadn’t done it now. The fact that he was missing now, was driving the billionaire insane, and he could only hope that maybe, he could find him. Or at least figure out who had him. Which was where he was now, inventing things with manic desperation, as jarvis searched.

Meanwhile, while steve was heaving, there was a moment of pure quiet, before a the steel toe of a combat boot pushed a bowl under steve’s head, as if the man had been well aware that steve wouldn’t be feeling well. And while he’d broken some, enough to know that his stevie needed help, he was still the soldier, still fighting the training that had dictated his life for 60 years. Watching steve silently before moving over, holding a glass of water towards him, his dark hair still wet from his shower, tied back into a small pony tail, the black cargo combat pants and boots the only clothes the man was wearing, having heard steve moving around as he'd gotten dressed, the man had abandoned clothes in the need to see steve.

 

[FoxWriter]

Pepper was more than a little bit worried about Tony. so was Natasha. Natasha had an odd affection for Tony after sort of kind of working for him. she came and visited often so her sudden appearance wasn't too much of a surprise. she punched in her code and stepped into Tony's lab with four steaming cups of Ton's favorite Coffee from hi favorite Coffee place. only three where for him and she made sure to take hers out before handing him the coffee. he'd never actually bitten her, but she knew he'd bitten people before and she wasn't risking her new manicure. "how you doing Tony?" she asked him. she knew how much Tony looked up to Steve, finding him like... that, had rattled Tony a great deal. "Fury has people out searching the streets." she admitted. "it helps keep the grunts calm. giving them something to do." she admitted, sitting next to him and sliding various tools over to her when he made the grabby hands. she knew better than to actually hand it to him. "it's not your fault you know. i was his partner in shield, or i was supposed to be. i didn't notice anything either, i thought he was just... aloof i guess." she admitted, looking at him. "it's not your fault and i don't want you to keep thinking it is."

Steve startled at the sound of metal hitting metal and nearly choked on his own vomit before managing to get most of his sick into the bucket provided. "B... Bucky?" Steve asked,. confused, sick, uncertain. it had been a weak since his last hit, and the withdrawal was settling into place, making it hard to think. "M i dead Bucky?" he asked, taking the glass with trembling hands, swallowing it down, well, half of it, before it slipped from weak fingers. he'd cut through the tendons so many times, he couldn't even hold the glass. "weird. Hell looks like an apartment." Steve mumbled, laying on the bed, too tired from throwing up and then drinking a half a glass of water to do anything else. he had never been so helpless before. well, not since he'd become captain America.

 

[jamie_winchester]

Tony frowned looking up at the sound of Natasha coming in, looking utterly pleased with the sight of coffee, letting her set the container down before he took a coffee up out of the carry holder, sighing softly as he drank it, “I’m fine Natasha. Working on a new toy for Peitro. Boy can run, but he needs a weapon. Getting hurt would slow him down, and I don’t want him to be defenseless if he gets hurt.”Tony huffed making a face, utterly annoyed with it because weirdly, Peitro Maxioff had become a good friend, and he hated not being able to help him. “...”Frowning a natasha’s words as he worked on the lightweight gloves, frowning as he glanced at her. “...I don’t. I mean, I never visited him expect that one time we grabbed dinner after a mission, and I dragged him to the cap room to look around.”Tony shrugged as he worked, sipping his coffee, pretty much not looking at natasha. Blaming himself for not looking after steve, especially when he’d thought his presence made steve even more upset, so he’d taken his time to not try and get to know him better, simply letting steve have space.

“....yes.”James said after a long moment, as if he was just trying to figure out the name, as if he wasn’t sure it was his own before frowning. “No, you’re not dead.”he said, the english words sounding accently as he took the glass from steve before he could drop it, shaking his head. “It is a apartment.”he said shifting, to help the man lay down better. “Rest.”

 

[FoxWriter]

Nat smiled at him, he was learning his manners after all! "ugh, that annoying brat?" she complained. she didn't much care for anyone aside from Tony, Clint, Pepper and Phil. she tolerated Bruce, Steve and Fury and openly disliked most everyone else. "he does need a weapon, i agree." she grumbled. "not like we really need him to be anymore dangerous than he already is really." she huffed before smiling at him. "Steve didn't like company. me and Clint tried to invite him to all kinds of things. He just didn't want to have any friends. honestly i think he's always been suicidal." she admitted with a sigh before she blinked. "you actually got him in the tower!? that's not fair, i was trying to get him to come to my place ever since i was partnered with him." she complained. "maybe it was the offer of movies he didn't like?" she wondered, her head tilted. "maybe it was just me?" she wondered. "honestly i think out of everyone, Steve liked you the most. because you didn't push him." she admitted. "plus, you don't get frustrated when he doesn't know something the way most people do." she admitted. "he's a very private person, you where the closest thing he had to a friend i think."

Steve blinked at him for a moment and then shook his head. "of course i'm dead." he mumbled. "you wouldn't be here if i was alive after all." he slurred, shaking his head. "your talking funny." Steve accused the other, scowling a little. "and you look different..." he muttered, letting Bucky shift him, if only because he was too confused and tired to protest or fight back. "Bucky? will you be here when i wake up? i don't want to be alone anymore."

 

[jamie_winchester]

“he’s not that bad. Even if he annoys Clint.”Tony snickered a little before nodding. “We don’t, but I’ll feel better knowing that if he gets in trouble, he’ll be able to protect himself until wanda or one of us can get to him.”He shrugged a little. “...Yea.I mean....I wanted to get him to sign some of my stuff....and see if he wanted any of it back. I mean, dad cleaned out his and barnes’ apartment...thought I’d have stuff he wanted.”Tony shrugged a little before frowning, “I doubt it’s ever you a man wouldn’t want to hang out with....he probably just didn’t like movies.”he shrugged before frowning, “Why get frustrated? I’m used to people not understand what I’m talking about...”

“No you’re not. And do I?”He said sounding startled at the idea that he had a accent now, before sighing. “I know. It’s been a long time Steve.”Bucky said, because even if he didn’t remember everything, the man was well aware that things were different, and time had past since he’d simply been Sargent barnes. “I will be. Rest.”He ordered.

 

[FoxWriter]

"he does annoy Clint. it's hilarious. he's still a brat." Anna said with a chuckle and a shake of her head. "i guess so long as you like him i won't make too much of a fuss about him." she assured him. "he plays one prank on me and it's done. i will shoot him. make sure he knows that." she ordered with a chuckle before blinking. "and did he sign your things?" he did, he was quite amused by Ton's Cap room actually and was just a bit nicer to Tony after too. though that might have been because he'd found out Howard had been a shitty father. Steve had never said a word about it though. "...actually i think Steve's gay." she admitted. "i stood in front of him completely naked and he didn't even bat an eye." she admitted. "he just signed and handed me a towel like i was a naughty two year old... i felt like a two year old." she admitted. "Tony. i think you don't understand. Phil gets frustrated with Steve. Phil!" she informed him. "because Steve is like, a technophobe! it took us three months to teach him how to respond to a text for fucks sake." she complained, shaking her head. "and yet he can work an alarm clock and drive a freaking motorcycle." she huffed. "i think he's punking us, i really do."

Steve nodded. "yeah." h mumbled, looking at the other. "it's been a long time? yeah. seventy years, i always forget. it feels like only a few days sometimes." Steve admitted. "it's really good to see you Bucky." he mumbled. "okay." he sighed, closing his eyes and going back to sleep. maybe if he asked really nice, Bucky would go out and get him a few drugs, he could feel the burning ache settling in that told him he was starting to go through withdrawal. thankfully, it would only last a few weeks instead of a few months, or even a few years the way most people had to go through. not to say it would be easier on him, no. he'd go through years of withdrawal in two weeks, it would be three to five times worse than what normal people went through. if he was lucky, he'd sleep through it.

 

[jamie_winchester]

“he is, but it’s amusing.”Tony snickered a little before smirking. “Good. And I’ll tell him. Though considering he can outrun bullets, you might have to consider killing him with your thighs. He might stand still to let you choke him out like that.”Tony said with a flirty little smirk before blushing a little nodding. “He did. Found it amusing really.”Tony said looking amused before studying natasha. “More asexual. Even a gay guy would have reacted to you really.”Tony said, the bisexual billionaire looking moments away from laughing in her face.”Hm, we should be naughty together really, if Cap is going to treat us like that.”he snickered before frowning. “Oh. Well. He freaks out in my lab, just learned to not bring him down here, and we do okay.”he shrugged a little before shaking his head. “No. Motorbike and the alarm clock he uses, are older. Or at least based on old tech.”

“It has. It’s weird.”James said because in the last few weeks of gaining some of his memories back, the man always felt off balance at knowing just how much time he was misisng. “It’s good to see you to, Stevie.”he said settling into a chair with a book, a history book actually, that he was working on catching up on history, settling in to wait for the other to wake again.

 

[FoxWriter]

she nodded. "he can't run if i tie him up first." she pointed out with a chuckle and a shake of her head. "and if your not careful, i'll kill you with my thighs." she teased. she was always flirting with him, but wouldn't actually sleep with him, only because she knew he'd get a little too emotionally attached. if he didn't than she would and they just weren't what each other needed. "are you saying i'm butch?" she demanded lifting an eyebrow at him, smirking. "because i'm telling you right now, if you think i'm butch i'll be shooting you." she teased with a snort. "in any case, i'm pretty sure he's gay because i've noticed him checking out you, Clint and Phil... he seams to think that being Gay is something to be ashamed of though because he tries to not do it. which is kind of hilarious to watch actually." she admitted before blinking at him. "does he really freak out?" the first time he'd met Jarvis he'd hidden in a closet and hyperventilated. when he'd first seen the lab he'd been convinced that the moving robots where being possessed or worse, where going to take over the world. he'd sent several dozen apology chocolates for Tony after destroying Dum-E and upsetting Tony. no Steve didn't do well in the lab. he was getting a little better though, he could use a coffee machine without freaking out now. so long as it wasn't the talking kind. "come on Tony. you need to get some sleep" Nat ordered. "Jaris is searching, Shield is searching and your melting that thing." she informed him. "you need sleep or you'll be useless when we find Steve."

 

[jamie_winchester]

“Hmmm, I’d enjoy being wrapped up in your thighs.”Tony smirked at her, because while he flirted, he never really made a serious effort to seduce her, because the man found it hard to date sometimes when he actually liked the people he was sleeping with. It messed him up. “Nooo, just that you’re so beautiful, you’d move a gay man to a erection.”Tony said smiling at her before snickering.”okay maybe he is gay....and well, he’s from the 30s. Probably does think it’s something wrong with him.”Tony said before nodding a little. “he does. Hid in the closet first time I introduced him to Jarvis, and destroyed Dum-E the first time he met him.”He shrugged a little. “...Do not. I’m okay.I can work.”he muttered grumbling a little when he realized she was right, he had indeed melted the new toy for peitro.

 

[FoxWriter]

she snickered at him and shook her head. "the whole point of being gay is that women are unattractive Tony." she pointed out, looking amused. "well, we'll just have to show him better won't we Tony?" she asked with a smirk before staring at him. "serious;y? he hid in the closet? that's...." she shook her head. that was weird. "can not. up. off to bed or i won't bring you more Coffee tomorrow." she ordered.

in the morning Steve groaned when he woke, his entire body covered in sweat, trembling from the hot and cold chills wracking his body. he was pretty sure he was on fire, his chest burning from the inside out. he scratched at it, as if hoping if he cut deep enough he could release all the heat inside, stop the pain. "B..Bucky?" Steve asked, terrified. had it all been a dream? was Bucky just a hallucination? maybe he was really dead and was now burning in hell and Bucky had been his last wish? "Bucky don't leave me alone! i'm sorry! im so sorry. it's all my fault!" he couldn't stand the idea of Bucky being in Hell, but he was so scared he wouldn't get to apologize to his best friend, brother. more? he couldn't remember, the pain of being burned alive was clouding his mind. never mind that he wasn't actually on fire.

 

[jamie_winchester]

“Not for me. Women are pretty, and Pepper still tells me I’m her gay boyfriend.”Tony whined a little before nodding. “We will indeed.”he agreed before nodding, wincing a little. “Yea. It was horrible.”he agreed before whining even as he let her get him to bed.

“Steve?”Bucky winced as he rushed into the room, his dark hair tied back out of his face, and still only wearing the pants, obviously disliking to be dressed as much as he always had, since he was young, he’d been yelled at for shedding his clothes the moment he could. “Steve!I’m here.”he promised moving to the edge of the bed, wiping the other’s face even as he pulled the blanket up. He wasn’t sure anyone else could take care of steve as well as he could, but he had no idea how to doctor him. He was relying on a spotty memory of taking care of steve before, to take care of him now.

 

[FoxWriter]

she snorted. "your not Gay, Tony you're just a guy who has interest in anything that moves." she teased. interested yes, but he rarely actually slept with anyone now that Pepper was actually trying to make a relationship work with him. even then, Pepper didn't get too mad when Tony messed up. Pepper was pretty good with Tony. "goodnight Tony." Nat said, gently tucking him in with a chuckle. she was there again in the morning, talking with Pepper with a mass of coffee all around them. talking about the best way to use S.I.'s impressive collection to hunt down Steve and how to help him once he got back. "i still think he would be best living here in the tower. he's fine with Jarvis now." "i'm telling you, if Steve really reacts to tech the way Tony said he does, he'll have a nervous breakdown. we need to ease him into it, not drown him with it, morning Tony." Nat said, nudging his five paper cups full of coffee in his direction. "i think at this point he needs a sink or swim situation. it's been nearly a year and he's made no progress and in fact, has reacted all attempts at helping him learn. Tony was the only person he willingly went to, i think having Tony close by would really help Steve." Pepper admitted.

Steve settled at the sound of Bucky's voice. "bu-Bucky. i thought. i thought you where a dream." he admitted, crying now. "it burns! Bucky! i'm sorry! i'm sorry i let you fall! i'm sorry i let you die! it's my fault! all my fault! i'm sorry! i'm so sorry! i don't want to burn in hell. i'm sorry!" he cried, clawing at his chest again, weeping the entire time. unsure if this was real or if he was dreaming again. maybe he wasn't dead yet, maybe he was dying and Bucky kept coming to try and save Steve's soul? "it hurts! Bucky! please, it hurts!" he cried. "i need it! i need... i need it!" his brain finally making the connection that this wasn't dying. he was going through withdrawal. he needed his cocktail. of course as soon as he realized, he forgot and settled back into his delusions of being burned in hell. he did settle more, the more Bucky spoke to him, babbling all the while about burning in hell and begging Bucky for forgiveness. occasionally he would beg James for his 'cocktail'. wanting his drugs, wanting the withdrawal to end.

 

[jamie_winchester]

“Hm, true. I like everyone.”Tony said looking amused before sighing as he was tucked in, whining a little. “I’m not a kid. Don’t need to tuck me in.”he muttered huffing a litle. In the morning he frowned sleepily as he walked into the kitchen. Not awake enough to follow the conversation as he shuffled over to take his coffee, settling into his seat with a sigh as he listened to them. “I think pep’s right. He’s better at the tower. At least he lets me help him, instead of freezing me out.”Tony said shrugging a little.

“Not a dream. I’m here.”James said crossing over to him, gently pressing him down into the bed to keep from hurting himself, having no idea how to deal with this, but he’d try. “No, no you don’t. You’re not getting anymore, Captain. You nearly killed yourself. You don’t get to kill yourself. And you didn’t let me die, I fell.”James frowned watching him, looking annoyed at not being able to string the words and actions enough together to be able to figure out how to help him.

 

[FoxWriter]

"you are a kid. a little brat even." she teased him with a smile. "just go to sleep." she ordered with a chuckle before blinking at Tony in the morning. "yes but... all thi tech is going to freak him out, wouldn't it be better to move him into a modern apartment and help him there?" Natasha asked, Pepper shaking her head. "you think he'll let you help him?" she asked. "we can't let Steve have a choice anymore. it's too dangerous. as many times as he slit his writs, he's not going to just decide he doesn't want to die anymore. he has to be closely monitored until he can find a reason to keep living." Pepper admitted. "he needs to find a reason to exist before he can be trusted on his own again." "...yeah, good point." Natasha agreed. "he's not going to be very happy about it..." she warned. well aware that Tony was probably the only person who could help now.

"you are a dream. just a dream." Steve gasped. "Bucky's dead, because i failed him!" Steve whimpered. it took several hours before he fell back into a fitful sleep, all the while rotating between begging for his cocktail, begging for death, pleading with Bucky to forgive him and muttering that it was all a dream. once he woke up again though, he was a little more aware of what was happening. "Bucky? i thought you where dead..." Steve whispered, staring at him. "how is this possible? you fell. it's been so long... unless, was it all a dream?" he wondered. "the future? or am i dreaming now? nothing makes sense..." and he was still too confused to try and properly make sense of it. "are you real?" he asked Bucky, reaching out and touching the other's face. "i can touch you, so you must be... your really warm Bucky..." he admitted. the fire in his chest replaced with the biting, freezing cold of Ice. "i don't want to go back tot he frozen waters.... don't let me freeze Bucky... please..."

 

[jamie_winchester]

“It does, but not as much as it used to.”Tony said frowning a little before shaking his head. “He can’t be trusted on his own. He needs a babysitter because of what happened, and if the man gets back, he wont want to live still. He wont try to help himself, so we’re going to have to do it for him, until he finds a reason to keep moving. Taking care of me, making him deal with someone’s kid he once knew, might be the only thing that goads him into doing things.”tony shrugged a little before making a face. “I know, but we have no other choice.”

“Me to. Was for awhile.”Bucky muttered sighing quietly as he loked at the other, rubbing a hand over his face as he sat in the chair next to the other. “I fell. And was found by zola and hydra. They....they used me.”James shuddered as he looked at the other before shaking hsi head. “Not a dream, I promise you that.”He said before leaning into the touch, slumping slightly, leaning into the other’s hand before nodding. “I’m real. And I wont let you freeze, I promise.”

 

[FoxWriter]

"yeah. your right." Nat agreed with a sigh and a shake of her head. "i don't thik he likes you because your Howard's kid Tony." she pointed out with a smile. "i think he likes you because you don't treat him like some sort of... well, superhero. you don't expect him to adjust, you just help him." she admitted.

he frowned. "Zola..." he growled. oh how he hated Zola. "they took you from me. i'll make them hurt. okay?" he asked James. "i'll make them suffer, just don't leave, Bucky. please don't leave..." he mumbled, stroking the others face gently before going back to sleep.

it was three days before Steve's withdrawals eased their hold. during that time he had scratched at his chest, cutting so deep that James actually had to pin Steve down. not an easy feat even with Steve as weak as he was. finally he was getting better, eyes fluttering open, groaning at the lights of the sun coming through the windows. "u..ugh..." Steve groaned, slowly struggling into a sitting position. "what the hell happened?" he wondered, setting a hand on his throbbing head. "fuck... how much of that did i dream?" he wondered, more to himself than anything else. "...Bucky?" Steve asked, eyes wide when he took in his best friend. "your... not a dream... or a delusion? you're... really here?" he asked, too stunned to do anything else. "....excuse me a moment." Steve ordered, picking up the bucket, leaning over it and hurling. the same thing he did every time he woke up. getting Steve to eat had been a hell of a challenge though so not much came up. "...fuck. what the hell is wrong with me? i didn't think a little withdrawal would be so bad..." clearly Steve had not been thinking clearly for a long time if he didn't realize how bad those drugs had gotten.

 

[jamie_winchester]

“Hey, I don’t like me cause I’m howard’s kid either, but he might want to look after me because of it. I mean, he feels bad for me.”Tony snickered a little well aware steve and him shared similar feelings over the elder Stark.

“they did. They took me from me to. I didn’t remember things for awhile....and good. I’ll help.”James said smiling a little bfeore nodding. “I’m not going anywhere.”he said leaning into the other’s hand for a moment.

“you were a idiot, is what happened, pipsqueak.”James grumbled before sighing sighing, looking as exhausted as steve probably felt. He’d barely slept, and even with a super soldier’s need for less sleep, he still needed some. “ONly a bit of it....and no. I’m not. I’m real.”James said snickering at the other’s reaction before sighing as the other threw up whining a little. “It took forever getting you to eat. And you just throw it up...”James grumbled before snorting. “You’re going through withdrawal idiot. Apparently you’ve shoved enough drugs into your system even the serum can’t counteract how addicted you got."

 

[FoxWriter]

"ugh..." he looked up at the other, looking rather confused for a moment. "aren't i always a idiot? and don't call me pipsqueek you jerk." he ordered before smiling at him. "god it's so good to see you." he whispered before getting ill and groaning. "Sorry, Buck." he muttered before smiling at him a little. "...fuck..." he cringed, looking very ashamed. "it wasn't... i didn't mean... i just wanted it to stop..." he admitted, running a trembling hand through his hair. "it did stop... when i took the pills..." he admitted, looking at the other. "you look so different... you mentioned Hydra?...." he studied the others face. "your all fucked up and yet still taking care of me... i'm such a fucking fuck up." he admitted, setting a hand over his eyes to try and ease the pounding headache. "i feel like shit... guess i kind of deserve that though, huh?"

 

[jamie_winchester]

“You are. But this is worse then normal. Getting into fights in alleys is normal. Being a addict is new.”James said making a face before slumping back into his chair, running a hand through freshly washed black hair, for the first time in awhile, looking more like james barnes, then the winter soldier. “I know. But the stopping never stops really.”James said, because while he was still missing most of his life, the fierce need to take care of steve, was starting to draw painful, soul breaking memories to the surface. And even if he wanted to forget sometimes, they always came back. “....I did.”He said staring at the floor, “After...I fell. Hydra took me to russia.”He shuddered flinching away from the memories before growling a little. “Don’t say that. I’m the only one allowed telling you your a fuck up, not you.”James grumbled before shaking his head. “You do, a bit, but not really.”James said getting up to get the pain killers holding them out with a glass of water. “I know they wont help alot, you’ll process them to fast, but it might help some.”

 

[FoxWriter]

he winced a little and then smiled ever so sheepishly at James. "yeah... new..." he agreed, running a hand through his hair. it wasn't new at all. he'd been addicted back in the army too. Howard had been a fucker, but he knew how to get the good stuff, and Steve had always been so sweet and compliant when drugged. Steve hadn't minded at all, at the time. what was a little sex for more drugs? "no it doesn't." Steve admitted with a sigh before watching James, looking very worried. "Russia... Hydra did horrible things to you, didn't they?" he asked softly. he knew, from just one meeting, that James had been Zola's most favorite experiment. ever since James had gotten up, had managed to run with him, to escape Zola had watched James. "i am a fuck up, James..." Steve said, hating himself for not following James down that cliff. for not dying beside his brother. "....thanks." Steve knew they wouldn't help at all but he took them anyway, at least the water helped a little. "so where am i?" he asked, looking around the apartment. "how did you find me anyway?" he wondered, studying James. "you've broken free of Hydra, right?" he asked, his head tilted. "you know, just so i know i won't have to escape later." he admitted, looking faintly amused. this was a pretty crappy place to keep Captain America hostage after all.

 

[jamie_winchester]

“....”James frowned staring at the other, frowning slightly harder as he studied his friend. Trying to find that memory, had he known before?Was that something else he’d forgotten? Swallowing the whimper that wanted to escape he looked away from the other, staring down. Nodding slightly. “I was....the only one who survived. Who could function after Zola had done what they di....fixed my eyes actually...”Steve was one of the few people in the world who’d known that one of the army’s best snipers on the front lines, was years, if not months away from going completely blind. “You had more important things, then a suicide jump off a train, Stevie.”JAmes said, struggling to clear the memories, because if steve mentioned them, some things were clearer then others, but he had to still work for it. “...Brooklyn. School actually.”James said, because it wasn’t so much a apartment they were in, rather the apartment rooms that he’d created in the basement of the school they’d once attended. “...News. You’re current....problems....were broadcasted. Shook me up enough on a mission to break control and mission rules.”James said before wincing, nodding a little. “I’m not going back....I’, not...what I was...but I’m not what they created either. All I know, is I need to take care of you.”

 

[FoxWriter]

no, James hadn't known. Steve had kept it a very closely guarded secrete. though Howard had often video taped Steve, high as a kite and doing the most lewd things just for another hit. Howard had found it hilarious, and delighting, getting Steve to do anything he wanted. it was doubtful Tony had found the tapes yet, but it was there in the Cap room, buried. it was no wonder Steve hated Howard so much, even though they'd been 'so close' during the war. "your eyes are all better?" he asked, looking rather pleased. "i'm glad something good came of all of this." he admitted. "i had nothing more important than you." he said. "i was just, so fucked up, and i never got better." he admitted. "school? our old school?" he asked. "they closed this thing down in the fifties, are you sure this place isn't full of Aspestos or something?" he asked, looking a bit wary. "...fuck, the news!?" he demanded, horrified. "so everyone knows!?" no, the world knew that Steve had tried to kill himself, once, and that he had then been kidnapped. "so we'll just have to recover together." Steve decided. "...no one knows where i am do they?" he asked, looking amused again. "you just took me. huh?"

 

[jamie_winchester]

James frowned thinking about that, figuring they could go back to that topic later before nodding. “They are. Better then normal really. Near perfect vision.”James smiled slightly before frowning, “...Maybe not, but you had a war to win, Cap.”James shrugged a little, before nodding. “It is. And I don’t know. It’s not like aspestos could harm either of us. Probably a little safer then just a apartment really, most people wont want to come in here.”James shrugged before nodding. “Sorta. They know you tried to die, and that you’re gone now. They don’t know about the drugs.”James said sighing quietly before making a face. “Why should I let them look after you?They failed. So it’s my turn, and they don’t get to know about it.”

 

[FoxWriter]

he smiled, pleased that the topic had gotten away from his addiction. "i'm glad your eyes are better. i was starting to get worried." he admitted. back then, he wasn't sure how Bucky would manage to survive without his eyes. he was glad that the other wouldn't have to worry about going blind anymore. "it wasn't my war James, i just thought it was." Steve admitted with a sigh, running his hand through his hair, shaking his head. "our right, it is safer here." he admitted with a smile. "and it's nice that they won't bother us." he admitted. "it's hard, adjusting to the future... everyone keeps pushing me to 'get this', but there's so much to get. machines that talk, machines that spit out money, machines that make lights turn different colors. cars that have 'options' for fucks sake. the only person who didn't expect me to understand anything was Tony." he admitted with a smile before relaxing. "good... i don't really want anyone to know i tried to kill myself." he admitted. "but i suppose it can't be helped. everyone knows now. at least no one knows how hard i tried." he admitted before grimacing. "sorry... shouldn't have said that." he admitted, examining his wrists. not even a scar. "i wonder if anyone even noticed. i wasn't exactly nice to people.