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Evanescent Alvis

A good day can be such a good thing. Do little things to make yourself happy so that you can turn every day into a good day.

You're too good of a person to let anything get in the way of your joy.

Love you, Al!
 
Business trip. And it's over. Don't like travel. But I met some important people with the manufacturer so that I am known to them since I'll be dealing with them directly a lot more this year. It was a good experience.

Also got to test out some bikes out on their offroad track. That was a lot of fun. Managed to not hurt myself, and got to tear things up a bit.

Made for a decent day overall.
 
That sounds like a wonderful day, Alvis. You deserved the fun!
 
So I'm back to full time open hours at work, which is nice for the sake of routine and simplicity. Also incentive to make sure I'm on time since there's no one else there to open the shop. Because I'm officially the manager now as it was. Have personalized business cards with my name on it and everything, that my boss had done up. Company email. Contact with suppliers. I'm largely running the Sarnia store at this point.

I've aspired to do management level work in hte past, having the thought I could do well with it. Well, I got it, and I got it pretty fast. I mean, I'm in for year two, adn there's a huge amount of new responsibility thrust into my hands.

And oh my fucking God, I'm in over my head.

I do a fantastic job of looking like I know what the fuck I'm doing, but I really really don't. So very much don't. I'm flailing around trying to make sure that I find something useful to do. But when I screw up, it's not a faceless corporation that feels it, it's my boss. That's a good guy. ANd I like my boss. ANd don't want to screw him up. So now I think my anxiety has shifted from a faint ringing in my ears to a scream taht might break glass, and it's running almost all of the time.

So much shit on the go, so many balls int he air, and I have no idea what to do with them all. ><

I think I'm doomed.

But I've thought that before and proved it wrong. Everyone aroun me seems to have every confidence in me, I think it'd almost be gratifying to have someone that didn't, just so I didn't feel like I the only psycho that isn't seeing the facts.
 
Well, going in to work tomorrow and going to have my first official fight to pick with a customer. I don't like him. He's a pushy asshole, and I'm done with his shit. But he's basically lied to me about the circumstances of one of his purchases and was trying to get me to give him a free exchange on more than $400 of stuff. I didn't, and checked with my boss, who agreed with my response of basially Fuck No.

So I get to go tell this guy to get fucking bent.

This should be fun. Kind of like a fork in the eye.
 
Ah...to be able to tell a customer to Fuck Off, with the sanction of the boss.

Livin' the dream, dude! :)
 
So annoying guy is an asshole, but there's nothing new there. Fuck him. Basically accused me and my boss of being liars, and said that if we don't knuckle under, he'll talk to his lawyer.

Fucking try me motherfucker. You got no case and we'll fucking eat you alive ya dumb cocksucker.

Politely informed him that his recollection of events doesn't jive with my boss' and frankly, in the evet of a conflict, I'm going to side with ym boss. And annoying guy and eat a bag of dicks.
 
SO my grandmother FINALLY got in for her heart surgery.

Oh yes, I realize I never mentioned that: my grandmother, who si in her 90s, needed heart surgery! So I've been a bit...distracted of late.

Compound that with work starting to pile up. THere's just a lot of balls in the air to deal with right now, and Im not sure I've enough hands to juggle them all. I was an awesome facilitator wen my boss was on hand, but now that I have to do part of his job too since he's opening the new shop a few towns over...yikes. So much more work for me.

And the new shop is not taking off. It's expected really, it needs to get itself established first, but in the meantime, it means I'm having to carry both places for profits. And that's rough for me, since it means I CAN'T have off weeks or shit is going to get tight.

So far I'm doing good, and so far I'm still pushing hard as hell to get shit done. But it is getting to me. I love my job, and I've always wanted to be a manager or the like, and now I am! Just kinda thought I'd get a little mroe lead up to it, you know? :p My boss just sorta tossed it at me with a "You'll do great. Have fun!" The confidence in me is a little surprising, and he's taking a hell of a risk on me this year, so I can't fuck that up.

Looking forward to tomorrow, since it's game night, and I can friggin' relax a bit. And then Friday I grab some beers with my boss and co-worker. Beers with the fellas. Good way to unwind after a full week.

So some positives! And stress. Must adapt to stress, beat it into submission. Until then, the battle rages on.

Wish me luck! Or send weapons to fight stress!
 
Every now and again, I'd just like a break from insanity.

Shit went haywire today, with my taking a nap being interupted by the news that someone I know had essentially attempted suicide. Downed most of a bottle of tylenol.

Fortunately she realized that she'd made a bad call, and called 911, and got the treatment she needed to, you know, not die.

But that still leaves a lot of problems to sort out, and very little resources to help. I'm not going to get into details, but there are parties involved that are not stepping up to the plate. And that has left me infuriated.

And there's signs that this is going to go neclear in the near future. So...I might be a bit more absent than usual? To all those I write with taht I owe to, please bear with me! I plan to abandon no one. It's just a shit load on my plate.
 
Big hugs Al. I everything turns out okay for your friend :(
 
Loads of shite on the plate are a pretty good reason to take a break, dude. Get things straightened out on your side first.

I won't abandon our story if you don't.
 
So things are...settled a bit? At risk person is away with her folks, trying to mend some fences adn get thigns together. She's trying, and they are (alledgedly) too, so there's some hope there.

Work is picking up in pace, and that's good, keeping me busy.

And my boss is still awesome.

It's become a treadition, one of us does a beer run for a 12 pack of Sleeman's Cream Ale, and kick back, shoot the shit and decompress. His wife attends sometimes, which is cool, we all like her. But it meant we went through the 12 pack, and me and my coworker were still goign to be hanigng out. So I pulled out cash for another pack. My boss said no, just grab it out of hte till, he'd cover it.

So again, my boss is awesome. :)

Still feeling on edge and kinda stressed, but I think I might be starting to pull out of it. Watch this space. Replies will come!
 
There are few thigns i hate more than a clogged kitchen sink. And boy howdy, did I ever have a winner of one!

3 bottles of drain cleaner and nothing. Snaked hte drain, nothing. Had to finally call in the big guns, my very nearly last resort.

I called my father.

Who is the fucking King Renaissance man of home repairs, and came down, worked on it a bit, found out that the clog was way down the pipe. And also the pipe was installed wrong. It's supposed to slope down towards the main drain pipe. The fucking idiot who installed it put it straight across, letting shit accumulate in it. So we cut hte pipe, and adjusted it. ANd found out what was in it.

I swear, it looked like someone took a five foot long shit in my pipe. Actually, I think I might prefer it ifd that had happened, it might have smelled better. >< Old grease and coffee grounds. I almost threw up from the stench.

Apologies to those of you who just read that and feel off! I promise I'm done my vile part.

On a less postive front, the trip up north by the at risk person with her parents to try and settle things is ending a week early, and it went about like I'd ferared. Nothing is resolved, adn there's a lot of fed up and bitterness to go aroun. So it's ending badly. And that means a mild shitstorm when all is said and done. And guess who's gonna be in the midst of it this time?
 
I can relate to the stench of a clogged pipe. Had to clean out the shower drain not so long ago (a few months ago, now, like before Christmas). Don't know how long it had been since it was last cleaned out; we've only been in the house just over a year. I'd wager the shower drain would be worse, given showers tend to collect things you don't do in the kitchen sink. Yeah, you all know what I mean.

Just remember to come up for air, dude.
 
Took longer than I expected it to, but the moment is finally here.

Finally got a serious enough threat at work that I had to file a police report about it.

Guy c omes in with his bike in pieces. Won't start. Okay, sure, this is my wheelhouse. Fight with it, get the thing started! Huzzah. It's a broken down piece of shit. But I got it working. Buttoned it all back up, made sure it worked, no problem. Got paid, sent him on his merry.

So two days later, he calls in screaming that we fucked his bike up, made it so the lights don't work. Yeah, they worked when he left, and when he brings the bike back, it's clear that he's had it open again. So we're not responsible for that shit, since we've got no idea what else he's done since opening it. I I tell him to either check the bike in for shop rates, or move on, since we're not doing shit fo free. he rides away pissy.

Calls me back the ne=xt day, screaming and raging at me. I tell him flat out that if he sounds off on me again that I'm hanging up, adn we're done with him. He says three words before soundingoff again, so I hang up. Fuck him. I'm done.

Two days after that he comes by the shop with me, my boss and my coworker all on site. He comes in to try and demand we work on his bike for free. No. Not happening. Politely, but no, not happening. My coworker takes over, takes him outside and manages to defuse thigns. I thought the situation was ended at that point.

Which brings us to today.

My coworker was riding away on a test drive, when this prick rolls up. Carrying a cane on his bike, which I know he doesn't need. But it's a very fine way of carrying a stick around with you without raising too many questions. I noted this, but didn't comment on it. Guy informs me that we did a shit job on his bike, and he wants his money back, as well as claiming we stole one of his plastic body panels. WHich is fucking stupid, he rides a camo pattern shit bike, no need or point in getting any bits off of that, even if we were inclined to do something like that. I tell him that the situation is long since closed, and if he's here to argue, roll on out. I told him before I was done with him, and I stand by it. He started to threaten to report me tot he Better Business Bureau, and get a large article printed in the local paper about us! I tell him to go for it, good luck there!

When that doesn't seem to phase me, he informs me that he's going to get his buddies to come down and smash up the shop and the bikes. I turn back to him adn ask if he's threatening me now. he informs me that he doesn't threaten, but he makes fuckin' promises. I onform him that I'll let the cops know. He guns hte engines as I'm walking away, screaming that he'll put a bullet in my fucking skull.

Now, in msot casdes, I call it just blowing smoke. But I know for a fact that he spent 25 years as a heroin addict, and now is on methadone, but fucks with his doses so is frequently on a lot less than he should be. He's also not terribly smart. This leades me to think he might actually try something.

So cops called. Report filed. They plan to go knocking on his door and let him know to basically fuck off.

Ugh. I like my job, but seriously...what the hell?
 
Mother
Fucker

So got a call at almost 1 am. Front window of the shop has been smashed in. Boss didn't answer phone call.

So manager has to go on site.

Just what I needed!
 
So...yeah.

Fucked the dog at work this week! Friday had us trying to get a trouble bike out the door. It's been a problem, adn we've fought with it for a long time, but we finally got all the parts swapped out, adn everything was doing fine!

Except at some point I apparently missed a few of the charge ups. Which pooched hte batteries inh te bike. Which cost 800 dollars to replace. So that's bad enough of a fuck up to contend with, but my boss was pretty chill about it. Which actually bothers me more than if he'd freaked out on me. So now I'm just doing the mental process of self flagellation for fucking things up so wonderfully. Especially since i know that capital is a bit lower than usual, what with opening up the second branch of the shop.

It's a damned weird quirk, when I know I've fucked up, I feel like I deserve to be berated for the fuck up, but no one is going to do it, so I pretty much do it to myself, but I'm much better at it than they would be. ><

Then I did a battery swap on a bike two days later, and lo and behold, there's a blow back in the charging system, and it makes a charger literally explode on the floor. That was a bit spectacular, but not good! Spent the rest of hte day fighting with the bike to find out what's going on with it, including two hours with my boss before I find out that the controller is blown, and we have no idea WHY it's blown. Other than it can't be my fault, since i did the wiring in perfectly. So it's fucking weird, and frustrating, but not my fault.

And that put me back a days work, so the trouble bike with pooched batteries didn't get finished, which I focused on today. And that was a nightmare of a new kind, where batteries can apparently discharge intot he frame of the bike, which they normally cant, resulting in two near misses involving my hands and more than 25300 watts of DC power. Which is...really bad for the record. Like, enough to burn off solid steel bad.

Which slowed me way down having to invent new safety procedures to avoid that shit, which was partially successful (led to another spark adn smoke show, burning off a small piece of steel, but avoiding my hands) and led me to still being at work 4.5 hours p[ast my shift to get it done.

I don't get paid enough for this shit
 
Onwards with the wierdness of my brain.

3 day weekend is over, adn the downside of a 3 day weekendis it gives my brain enough time off to actually reboot. And then it notices there's shit strewn about my mind haphazardly, adn starts picking it up and looking at everything.

And it makes me realize that I am NOT in an emotionally helathy place. I'm basically waffling between apathy and annoyance most parts of the day. I can get bumps of pride at my work, a job well done, and moments of visceral glere when I accomplish a task that's not supposed to be able to be done. Slaying the Kraken as it were.

But that's it.

And that's...not a good thing. I'm glad it's managed to not dselve into my depression, but there it is still. Apathy does not make for a good way of living, I've learned that a long time ago. Spent too long in that mode in early high school. So I'm...trying to take a step back from thigns. Take an objective look at everything around me, decide what kind of things I want to have happen, and what I need to keep and what I don't. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to break things down without looking at all the context involved, look at each thing in such a way to simply be what it is and what it looks like.

So...I might ask a few semi-random questions to some semi-random people to see what other takes would be.

In other news, I'm trying to to also pick my writing back up, try and get back into the swing. So for all of you still interested, keep an eye on this space, I'll likely contact you to make sure you're still interested.
 
UUGGHH

Only descriptor I can offer of my last few weeks.

So massively overworked at the job, got to the point of having a physical reaction, and a hard crash from all the overwhelming stressors going off in my face at once. Had to shut everything down for a half hour to get myself level. A day later I snapped enough that I went into call center autopilot mode, where I just speak quietly, and do the needed steps to appear normal and functioning.

Last week I got tagged by a car on my ebike! A lighter tap, so I wasn't hurt, adn the bike still runs, but it was still not a pleasant experience.

And today! Today! Went for lunch, was in the restaurant for an hour and a half, only to emerge to find...no more bike! Stolen right out from the parking lot. Really caps off my life these days.
 
So things are in a mixed state for me. I'm laid off, which I honestly think is okay. I could use the time off to just...not.

I got the new ebike I'd been buying stolen out of my back yard, which pissed me right off, but whatever, it's done and over with now.

My uncle is on his last legs, no longer able to eat. Just a matter of time now.

Mixed bag of things lately. But I think I'll be in touch with people soon, reopen some stories. See what I can scare up. again. Make my return to things long neglected
 
Well...shit.

All I got is: don't rush yourself coming back. Get your life straightened out first. We are naught but a hobby. :)
 
So on the list of hits that keep on rolling in, my grandmother is now confirmed to be positive for bowel cancer! Huzzah.

Oh, and the starting treatment they gave her? Aggravated her macular degeneration, so now she's functionally gone blind to make it perfect.

She's slowing down, and so is her husband, and now we're basically just waiting to see where it all goes. Other than nowhere good.

Distract me people. Send me things to amuse myself. Help me forget that thigns are sitll going to shit for just a little while.
 
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