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Adderstrike(HP)Church/Moon

Blake looked up at Harry and winced a little "I'm sorry Harry, I didn't mean for you to feel it all. Zach taught me....I just......" He looked really torn up about it though Harry didn't seem to make a big deal about it at all. He squeezed the hand and looked up at Harry, see that he was trying to be so strong for Blake and everyone else on top of that. "Thank you, Harry" he said softly, and let a tired smile show on his face. He closed his eyes when he was kissed, letting go of his hand as he pulled away to talk to James. The blonde saw the kiss and though he tried to tell himself it meant nothing he knew Harry was closer to Blake and very protective of him and he knew what Harry had seen when he looked into his mind, the snippits of him and Blake and the feelings that James had for him. He stepped aside with Harry, giving Blake a smile. He kept watching to make sure he wasn't going to quit breathing again, trying to focus on Harry enough so he didn't seem disrespectful to his position and his leadership there at Adderstrike. James took the pin and pocketed it, not thinking that it looked that extraordinary though he supposed that was the beauty of the thing. He nodded when he was told that he had to protect Blake with his life. He would do it, but he wondered why Harry was so convinced that he was absolutely essential. He wasn't saying anything against Blake but Harry was willing to sacrifice himself and others to save this boy. What was he hiding?

James and Blake both watched as the King left and James moved to Blake's side "you should sleep" he said gently and saw the fear cross his eyes "don't worry, I'm going to be here the whole time. I'm not letting anything come near you again" he promised and kissed his knuckles lightly. Blake bit his lip a bit "will you hold me?" he asked of him softly, James nodding and ever so carefully maneuvering himself so that he wouldn't put any pressure on Blake since he knew he would still be tender and sore from the curse. Blake carefully snuggled into his arms and faced James' chest and though he thought it would take a while for him to fall asleep he was gone almost instantly. James simply held the boy, watching the room around him and keeping his arms around Blake. He didn't stir and it almost pained James to have to wake him at this point. "Blake, the Order is here. Are you still wanting to see them?" he asked him, he wasn't going to make him but he wasn't going to try and talk him out of it either. It was totally up to Blake. The boy yawned and blinked sleepily, kissing James' cheek before nodding and starting to move. He was picked up and carefully placed into the chair, James pushing him down the corridors after putting a blanket over Blake's legs. Blake was pale but his eyes were bright, clearly wanting to see what these people had to say. It spoke so much about his strength that he was able to recover from so much.

After Remus had read the letter and gotten the few he was bringing together they set off, speaking the message and were immediately led inside. They looked around at the young children, all pointing weapons at them. It was astounding actually that they had missed so many children with wizarding blood, even if half of them were muggles that would still be astounding. His eyes found Harry instantly, the throne he was sitting in wasn't much of a hiding spot, especially as he seemed to radiate power and anger to a sense. The boy beside him was definitely the boy they had tortured, a chill running through him as he looked at his emaciated body. He sat when ordered, not particularly wanting to be the one all the guns were pointed at. His eyes flicked to the few of them, wondering what Harry was really searching for from them. Dumbledore was there, a few seats down from Lupin, wondering what he would choose to say to Harry, the King of Adderstrike from the Leader of the Order. Granted, Albus meant the best at heart but sometimes he just went about it the wrong way. He was compulsive and said things sometimes that were helpful and other times you just wanted to hit him and make him give you a straightforward answer. He didn't think that Harry would go along with that all too well from what he had already gathered about him from their little chat.

Blake's elbow was on the armrest and his chin was in his open palm, looking at the few of them who had gathered to speak to Harry. It was impressive how Harry commanded attention in a room even though the few had come were fully grown adults, and one was even old looking, with a long beard and small glasses framing his eyes. His eyes moved over them, seeing Lupin and a spike of fear and rage constricting his heart for a moment but then he calmed, he was clearly protected here and there wouldn't be any way Harry would let him even be close if he thought he would be even remotely close to being hurt again. James didn't really have any emotions tied to the people, though he knew one of them had been in the room while Blake was being tortured, and that wasn't a big selling point with him in any way. He watched Blake's reactions, making sure that he could handle being here with these people and then in the middle of such a great room in front of every member of Adderstrike, a group who already didn't like him very much. He watched the old man, since everyone of them seemed to be waiting for either Harry or him to say something, though Dumbledore seemed to be watching Harry and the way he moved and the dominance that was clear over these children of his. He would be content to sit there for hours, just watching and listening, and since they were the guests he wouldn't speak until Harry had addressed them first since he wasn't aware of their social customs.
 
Harry snorted a little. "i'm fine Blake, don't fret." Harry ordered firmly. "my mind is just very susceptible to such things. something about being mentally empathetic, i didn't get it." Harry stated with a wave of his hand. "i can handle a few mental upsets, it won't bother me any." Harry promised before heading into the place to ready for the Order. he watched them intently once they arrived, studying Remus Lupin, Albus Dumbledore, Sirius Black, and the few others that had come with. his gaze was calculating and harsh, as if he was looking into their soul and had found them wanting in many manners. "So." Harry spoke only one word, but it was enough to have every single person's attention. even Sirius found himself completely unable to tear his attention away from his Godson, not that he'd been able to before. Sirius had suffered a great deal, he had seen many things, but never before had he ever felt... afraid, of someone the way he was afraid of Harry Potter. "So." Harry stated again, sweeping an arm around the room. "What do you think of our home gentlemen?" Harry asked, a smirk on his lips. "what do you think of the 'Gutter Boys' that you left behind, or simply forgot?" Sirius wisely said nothing, he knew the first attempt at making excuses would end in wounded pride, and damaged body parts.

"...Harry, Child..." Professor McGonagall attempted and Harry's eyes flashed. "Silence!" the single word was hissed so viciously that even Dumbledore snapped his mouth shut, and the rest of the room fidgeted, the people of Adderstrike where nervous when Harry used that tone of voice. It usually meant someone was about to be harmed. "Tell me, one of you, what you know about an Animagus that takes the form of a fat, brown, rat?" Sirius crowed before he could stop himself and found himself frozen by Emerald green eyes. he had half a thought to try and fortify his Occlumency shields before he realized that Harry wasn't using any Legilemency. "explain." Harry demanded again. "His name is Peter Pittegrew. a traitor, he works for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. it's his fault that... well that..." "that my parents are dead... yes, Remus Lupin explained to me about that..." Harry murmured, calming now that he was certain these people had nothing to do with Blake's second round of torture. "Peter Pittegrew slinked his way in here and attempted to assassinate Blake here." Sirius twitched, his eyes flicking in shock to Blake before moving his attention back to Harry. "i see you have brought the journals?" "y..yes, all of them that we could find..." Sirius managed to stammer, picking up the box that he had put all of the journals into. Harry just glanced at a single person and said man stepped forward, took the box away from Sirius, and left to put it in Blake's room to be protected by all sorts of guarding spells.

Harry was well aware that someone didn't want them finding out what Zach had to say. so Harry put his best warder on the job. now only Blake and Harry could even touch the books, they where fire, water, and spell proof and could not be summoned, or removed from Blake's rooms. perfectly safe. "Harry?... how many of these children are... are magical?" McGonagall asked, her voice horrified as Harry turned his gaze on to Dumbledore. "almost all of them. for every three Magi there is one Mundane." Harry explained. "though, they don't have the power that Your Magi have. these people have... singular talents for the most part. many of them wandless, as you call it. they where kicked out of their homes for being f... strange. many of them where hurt, and abused, that is how i myself was inducted into Adderstrike... i hear i have YOU to thank for that, Albus Dumbledore." Harry stated, his eyes flashing again before he relaxed into his throne, studying them all again, his fingers tapping against the stone as he considered the best course of action to take. "there are several reasons why i called you here." Harry admitted simply. "the first has already been sorted out, i wished to make sure you where not responsible fo the Assassination attempt on Blake." his gaze swept around the room. "Blake is the only person who can translate Zach's journals. and the more i find out about what Zach was getting into, the more certain i am that he was, not only framed, but working in the interest of Adderstrike." whispers erupted around the room, the people of Adderstrike hissing in shock and amazement that maybe Zach wasn't a traitor after all. in almost an instant, Blake wasn't the leper of the community anymore.

"this brings me to the other reason why you are here. i have come across knowledge that the Dark Lord Voldemort..." he raised an eyebrow as many in the group before him flinched. "was once named Tom, Marvolo Riddle. who was taken in by Adderstrike as a child, and trained. he has turned this knowledge against us, and has broken Adderstrike Law." Harry stated, his voice firm and furious. "He will not be allowed to continue with his bloodbath. he will be stopped as it is Adderstrike's right, but unfortunately, most of the people here are not of a quality to be able to handle a man of such power and insanity. that is why i am calling in outside forces... you. i request a temporary... alliance, between us. we can help each other. i have an army of willing soldiers, able and happy to take out the Death eaters and any threat that might be posed against you. we even have people stationed in the ministry, your ministry, that can deflect attention away from you and your Order of the Phoenix. in return, you will provide proper teachers for the elders within Adderstrike, teachers who can teach us formal magic, so that we can teach and train the younger generations." and this proved that Harry wasn't just a homicidal maniac. like always, he had his people's honor and intelligence in mind. "you will be allowed to come and go as you please, but you will keep out of all areas that are not specifically this one, unless asked, or ordered by myself." he glanced at Blake, well aware the other didn't like the idea of the Order being there. "you will also never approach Blake, or James for any reason, unless invited by Blake himself. failure to comply to these orders will only lead to your death for being a sneak and a spy. do we have an accord?"
 
Harry could command a room. That much was starkly evident to everyone in the room. Every soul hung on his every word and he knew he was the only one who even thought about correcting him or cutting him off mid-sentence. Hell, it seemed like he was the only one who would even refuse to listen to a direct order from him. Blake looked bored as the mention of the rat was brought up, staring at the others, his eyes harsh, wanting to see one of them react to the news. He knew the one who did it wouldn't have expected to have been seen by him. He should have been dead after the first curse and he was still breathing after three. One moved and his eyes narrowed on him, watching as he explained who he had seen. It was the same man who had betrayed Harry's parents? His eyes cut up at Harry and he made a small noise, feeling like he needed to say something but not really knowing how to go about it or how he would even word it so that it would make sense to other people. He turned it in his mind, trying to think about a way that he could tell Harry, unknowing if he wanted to share the information or keep it to himself. James was sitting beside Blake, his hand resting lightly on the wheel of Blake's chair, wondering what he was thinking about.

Blake leaned back into the chair and looked at James, letting a memory feed into his mind "'Zacharia, you've been far too kind, how can I ever repay you?' 'You can kill that piece of shit you call a master' 'I can't do that, Zach, you know that.' 'That's disappointing, Peter, though I've been waiting to do this for a while'" The memory ended with a bright flash of green light, looking very confused even though the others had already moved on and changed topics. The mention of the journals brought his attention back at lightning speed, his eyes remaining on the box as he watched someone move to take them from the stringy haired man and then moved from the room, Blake feeling anxious about someone else keeping track of them after he had been attacked because of them, not even knowing if someone had taken a book or ripped pages out. His heart constricted then, he hadn't even looked. Shit. He needed to see what had been taken, knowing there was something that he would have taken. He wouldn't risk his life to try and take Blake's. He was a nobody. Blake didn't know why everyone was pitching such a huge fit about so many of them being magical. He was a magi and all he could do that was helpful was to read the journals of his deceased lover to try and clear his name. Big whoop.

At Harry's mention of his name the eyes of the outsiders all turned to him, suddenly feeling very exposed. Some of them regarded him almost with a sense of awe and others with a hint of fear in their eyes. He managed to look indifferent to the attention the way he had been managing so well for his entire life since nobody had even cared until the past couple of years. On top of that Harry's revelation caused the entire room to break out into whispers, many were pointing at him and whispering to the ones beside them, some looking skeptical and others were intrigued. His eyes found James' who was so steady and unwavering there beside him, taking his hand, the blonde smiling a bit at the public display in front of everyone. Hmmmm. He very much liked Harry's proposed conditions for them. He would speak when he wanted to but then he wouldn't have to if he didn't want to, a win-win in his eyes. Dumbledore pushed his spectacles further onto the bridge of his nose, regarding Harry with a sense of wonder and a level of respect "The...." Blake cut him off and spoke up then, looking from Harry to the Order "I do believe killing is a little harsh, Harry. I think the Cruciatus would be much more appropriate, then you'll wish you were dead" he said, completely serious about the matter.

Something needed to be fixed in his mind and this seemed like an opportune moments to implement it. Death was too quick, too painless. No. Pain was a much better punishment. Pain until they were dead or until the wizard got bored. The Order looked astounded as he spoke. Snape had told them that he was a dark, arrogant bastard but he was always a little dramatic when it came to youth. Blake was alright having a reputation such as this, it made him much less approachable, which he favored. He was sure it was why James had decided to speak to him in the first place. If he had heard the stories he wouldn't have even passed in front of his door. Dumbledore looked at the dark-haired male and then up at Harry "we will accept the terms and strive to work together to be as beneficial as possible in ending the regime of Voldemort and to help your children as well. It would be an honor, Harry" he said, bordering on being a kiss-ass though it was pretty much just his personality. Blake's eyes focused on Severus, wanting for him to teach him Legillimency but not knowing if they could anytime soon though he doubted that Harry would let him anytime soon. In fact, his eyelids were already starting to droop a bit, leaning a bit more onto his hand holding his head up. James squeezed his hand to bring him back, looking at him as if asking if he wanted to go to bed in which Blake just shook his head.

James looked extremely pleased when the conversation ceased, standing to take Blake back to his room. Blake was already asleep by the time they were there and James smiled a bit as he lifted him and set him into the bed, pulling the blankets over him carefully. He waited for Harry to come in before he stood and looked at Harry "Blake showed me something while you were speaking with the Order. He didn't want to interrupt you then but he showed me" he said, looking at the other and waiting for him to force his way into his mind again, the always awkward fact that Harry knew his emotions towards Blake since they were fairly strong and obvious to begin with but since Harry was even more sensitive to those sorts of things. He honestly felt like shooting himself in the foot at that point before he wanted to show Harry anything more from his mind.
 
Harry glanced at Blake and chuckled, he actually chuckled. the room fell silent in stunned amazement. Harry had never chuckled before, he smiled occasionally but... normally Harry was stoic, cold, uncaring and cruel. he was the best King they had ever had but he was so closed off to everyone, no one had ever found their way into his friendship, let alone his heart. "Blake, be reasonable, these people are not the ones that hurt you. besides, i have much better ways of dishing out pain than some silly curse." Harry assured the other. "rest assured anyone found where their not supposed to be, will be interrogated first." his eyes flicked to Snape who snorted, amused. he HAD warned the Order that these people where very dark and twisted, but they hadn't believed him. he had taken Dumbledore aside and explained that he had taken both an Oath, and a vow to keep Adderstrikes secretes. One that hadn't allowed him to even tell anyone that he had once been Adderstrike. he hadn't been able to explain much more than that, but he had no doubts that the Order would be questioning him later. he was just glad that Harry had given him permission to speak of it, the fake beating had been more of a play to win Voldemort's sympathy anyway.

"i am glad that we have reached an agreement." Harry admitted simply, "we try our best to teach the children, but most of our teachers are barely Magi at all. the power levels are low enough that they can only manage a few of the simpler spells. and most of the young Magi here will leave when they turn Eleven, to go to schools. only two or three will actually end up in Hogwarts." Harry admitted. "most are snatched up by the American or German schools." Harry explained. "they are given new, better lives there. a place where they can be placed with good wizarding families and get a new start on life. unfortunately we have no way of telling which children will go to schools, and which will be forgotten, so we have to train them as best as we can lest the magic that they do have boils over and causes... problems." Harry was all too willing to let Dumbledore kiss his ass. "now then, the boys will show you to the guest quarters, you can stay there for now or you can return to your own homes and beds." Harry stated as he stood up. "i must see to things before i speak to Snape and Black." Harry admitted simply as he paused. "please stay for at least an hour." he asked/ordered before he swept out of the room and down the stairs to check on Blake.

"Blake showed you something? i would look at it but i'm afraid my head is already killing me from that bit of Legilimency i already used. it is not something i'm good at, and the last thing i want is to put either of us in a Coma." Harry admitted with a shake of his head as he examined the contents of the box, nodding, pleased to see that everything had already been warded and protected. "describe to me what Blake showed you." Harry ordered, listening to James explain before he nodded. "so Zach knew Peter, and one of them tried to kill the other. obviously they both failed." Harry muttered, his eyes narrowed as he considered this. "stay here with Blake, i wish to ask this Sirius Black fellow about this Peter Pittigrew at more length. clearly there is much more to the story." he muttered. "i will have one of the house elves bring you food right away, your probobly starving and i'm sure Blake will be too when he wakes up." Harry murmured, examining James intently. "i am glad to see you opening again James." Harry admitted softly. "Blake will be good for you, and you for him." he assured the other. "just be aware that if you hurt him, i will dig your heart out with a spoon, no matter how much those Twins of yours love you." he warned before leaving James with Blake. honestly it was probobly those feelings that James had for Blake, that where the reason Harry was willing to leave Blake alone with him.

~~**~~

Snape was well aware that Black looked ready to blow a gasket, and he had no doubt Lupin was too. he smirked a little to himself as Harry stalked off, all swirling robes and snapping hems. he cut an imposing figure, one that even Lucius Malfoy couldn't compare. "i am sure you are all wondering what that was all about." Snape stated calmly. "i am Adderstrike." he let the gasps and protests calm down. "i had to swear an Oath to never reveal anything about Adderstrike, not even that i was one, to 'outsiders' or 'prey' as many of the newer generation is fond of saying. i was taken in at the age of eight, after my Father had belted me with a strap so hard he bloodied my back." Sirius winced, shocked by that. "in Adderstrike, i learned to be a Spy and survive, i also learned my formidable Mental capabilities, and my potions skills." He admitted. "Adderstrike is a Family, a very close knit one and betrayal of Adderstrike is almost unheard of. not just because of the Oaths and the Vows that all members take upon leaving into the world, but also because it is nearly impossible for us to consider betraying our family... it would be like trying to betray our own child, or our favorite uncle. it simply isn't done, well not all that often anyway." "so you've been lying to us this whole time!?" Sirius asked, outraged as Snape simply nodded.

"of course i have. i am a Spy am i not? my main duty, and loyalty is to Adderstrike. my loyalty to the Order is second to that. above all else my loyalty is to my Family. after all i AM a Dark Wizard." Snape pointed out. "no amount of hatred towards Voldemort will ever make me Light. and when all is said and done, you Order are trying to demolish the Dark, instead of simply putting down the one bad clan. after all, do you slaughter all of the kneazles, simply because one bit you?" "well said Snape." Harry stated as he walked back into the room. "but your forgetting something. it is the bigotry and the hatred within the Wizarding World that creates all these 'Dark Lords'. the more the 'Light' tries to stamp them out, the more the 'Dark' is going to fight back." Harry stated with a smirk. "now then, i need information on Peter. as it turns out, he was speaking to Zach, who, as far as i can tell, was trying to get Peter to kill his Master, who i am assuming is the Bastard that is Riddle." "yes, Peter is one of Voldemort's men... you think that.. Zach was trying to find a way to stop, or even Kill Riddle?" Harry just nodded. "oh, and Snape? i want you to teach Blake about Legilimency. he is talented, very skilled and he needs a proper teacher. while i am a master at occlumency, my Legilimency... well it's not a good thing for me to do." Snape just snorted and agreed to teach 'the brat'. Harry didn't doubt that he was the only one to catch the slight affection in Snape's voice.
 
James was fairly quiet after he had told Harry what Blake had showed him, not really sure that Harry was correct that one of them hadn't been killed. He couldn't put his finger on it, maybe it was Blake's own emotions about it but he didn't think Pettigrew was alive any longer. He didn't voice his thoughts though, not wanting to really discuss it especially since he knew Harry was only coming to check on Blake and then he would head back to talk with the Order for God knows how long. Harry started talking about him and James suddenly felt uncomfortable. He was used to being ignored and just there, no one paying him any attention. His eyes flicked to Blake at the threat, most would think he was exaggerating but he wouldn't put it past Harry to actually do something like that. In his mind there was no possible way that he could hurt Blake, physically or emotionally, it just wasn't even feasible. With what had already happened he was glad that Harry had stationed more people to watch the halls and extra spells had been put on the room and overall to try and protect Blake. People were also more willing to help out than before since they weren't sure if Zach was a serial killer or if he had been used or framed.

Blake stirred a few minutes after Harry left and James was sitting in a chair next to him, the boy shifting and looking confused "where am I at?" "In your room. They were done talking so I brought you back" Blake nodded and blinked sleepily, only then realizing how tired he really was. "Why are you over there?" he asked, glaring at the chair as if it were some sort of disgusting bug. "I was going to let you take up the whole bed so you'd sleep better." Blake's facial expression told James exactly what he thought of that comment, causing James to laugh aloud "alright, alright. I'm coming, your highness" he teased, kissing his forehead before carefully laying beside him. Once settled Blake fell asleep again, James actually falling asleep as well with the sound of the gentle intake and release of air from Blake's lips. He woke up from the feeling of something against his lips, his eyes opening and seeing Blake close to him. He made a pleased noise and kissed him gently though Blake quickly deepened it and pushed his leg between the others, his knee rubbing against James. "Blake" he whispered softly, wanting more but if they kept going they wouldn't stop and Blake was in no shape to be doing that sort of thing. "What? Don't you want me?" "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?" His hand pushed against Blake's side fairly gently and he winced "that's why we're not doing that right now. Plus, I don't know if Harry's going to come in anytime soon" he said. Blake frowned at the sound of his name. "I don't care. He can go fuck himself" James looked stunned "why would you say that?"

A memory moved through his mind, a moment he had witnessed himself, Harry almost disregarding what Blake had said in the great room and saying the Cruciatus was a 'silly curse'. He could feel Blake's hurt, confusion, and anger at what he had said and the way he had been dismissed. "If he comes by tell him I don't want to talk to him, say I'm asleep or sick or something" he told James, the blonde nodding slightly. "For right now, at least. Only because you really don't feel good. You're going to have to talk to him though, you just are." Blake nodded and cuddled into James again, talking about different things quietly until he fell asleep again, James letting out a deep sigh. He really did not want to get in the middle of the two men. It wouldn't go well for him and he knew it." The boy outside the door would tap softly, letting them know if Harry was coming. James got up when he heard the noise and stepped outside the room, leaving the door open partially "He doesn't want to talk to you right now. He's sleeping and he's not feeling too well from that 'silly curse' that was used against him." James wanted to bite his tongue out and die. He couldn't even believe he just said that, but he had to stick up for Blake and what he wanted. He was sure part of it was because he had felt the way Blake had when he heard Harry dismiss him.

Dumbledore had agreed to stay the night there, if nothing more than to observe what they could about the community hidden in plain sight. None of them could even believe Snape for a few moments although the more they thought about it the more they remembered little things that Snape had an excuse for, almost too good of an excuse. Remus was clearly not all that surprised since he was aware of the way Harry had let him 'escape' from Adderstrike not all that long ago. "Is there anything else we can do tonight, Harry?" Lupin asked the boy. He didn't really want to just sit there idle and he especially wanted to be able to learn more about these children and be able to help them. He didn't know if it was the teacher side of him or the fact that he did care about children more than adults due to the fact that they were the future and they had a level of innocence that needed preserving. He assumed that Zach had taught the boy some level of Legilimency since Harry applauded him on his abilities and his affinity for the skill that was difficult for many and one simply didn't 'pick it up'. Snape loved that sort of thing, whether he liked the child or not. He liked the challenge and the ability of some children to have such an amazing skill in something so rare.
 
Dumbledore was placed in a perfectly nice room, though not as nice as the ones downstairs, which the Order wasn't allowed to enter. Remus and Snape also had their rooms, though Snape's was downstairs with the rest of Adderstrike. he was feeling particularly pleased with himself, the order trusted him a lot more now that they realized he wasn't with the Dark Lord, but rather with Adderstrike. Harry turned to examine Lupin for a moment and then shook his head. "it is very late, and the young ones are in bed now." Harry stated simply. "tomorrow you can start lessons. the ones who are to take the lessons, know to be in the Throne Room as soon as breakfast has finished. you can teach them some magic then if you'd like." Harry assured the werewolf. "for now, sleep is on the agenda, we haven't gotten enough of it as it is." he himself had even less. "please make yourself at home." he indicated the room that Lupin would be staying in, a soft, warm bed and an attached bath, a bit dirty but well cozy. Sirius had one too, as he had stayed also, eager to share stories with Harry about the boys parents. "i will have someone come and wake you for breakfast." Harry assured the other before leaving to check on Blake.

he headed down the hall, blinking as the gaurd tapped on the door and blinked as James stepped out, his head tilted a little. "he doesn't feel well...." Concern and worry had flitted across harry's face before it was filled with mortification. "oh... oh my.." he swallowed thick, looking so guilty you almost wanted to wrap your arms around him and give him a tight hug. "i hadn't realized... i didn't mean to hurt him, i didn't mean to mock his pain..." Harry whispered, gripping his own arm tightly enough that you knew there would be a bruise there, but Harry would accept no comfort and James would know this. Harry had nearly bloodied himself in blame after Zach had left and they'd found the boys. it had taken three stunners and a sleeping hex to take Harry down and to make him stop clawing at himself. he swallowed thickly, glancing in the doorway at Blake and shuddered. "what did i do!?" Harry demanded before wheeling around and fleeing back up the hall, unable to handle his own emotions and the guilt that plagued him. this was a common occurrence really, and one that everyone at Adderstrike had seen, not that Harry would let anyone comfort him. the last man who had tried to give Harry a hug, had ended up in a great deal of pain with Harry screaming 'Don't touch me! don't you EVER touch me!' so people had long ago learned to never try to touch Harry, especially when he was in a mood.

no one saw him until morning, and he didn't try to go to Blake, instead he sent Snape down to give the boy lessons while he handled the Order, dark circles under his eyes. of course he snapped at anyone who tried to express concern over him, and even Sirius quickly shut up about how sickly Harry looked after two nights of no sleep. first because of the nightmares, and now because of feeling bad about hurting Blake. Harry had a need to punish himself, especially when there wasn't anyone else to punish him. he led Remus and the others down the stairs and into the Kitchen, Blake, James and Snape would be eating breakfast in Blake's room. the guards on duty would be getting food once their shift ended. Harry watched everyone eating with a critical eye, making sure that everyone had their fair share, and Sirius felt his heart clench as he realized that most of this food was probobly stolen, how else could they afford to feed so many? how many went hungry when they couldn't steal enough food? he glanced at Remus, and then looked down at his plate of scrambled eggs and toast and suddenly didn't feel all that hungry anymore.

Snape headed to Blake's rooms and stepped inside, lifting an eyebrow as he saw the mounds of eggs and toast that the house elves had provided for the three of them. "Good morning Blake, are you settling in well?" Snape asked, peeling off his outer robes and hanging them on the hook. "i have news for you, something i didn't want to spread around. Peter Pittegrew, the Rat animagus that attacked you is dead. apparently the Dark Lord, you know him as Voldemort, wanted Peter to kidnap you, not try to kill you. from what i understand, Peter was attempting to save his own ass, and it backfired." Snape admitted with a shake of his head. "i can't let it spread around because unfortunately, not even the other death Eaters know why Voldemort lost his temper." he admitted blinking at Blake before sighing. "you know that Harry didn't mean it, don't you? he knows full well what the Cruciatus does. he calls it a 'Silly curse' because he doesn't want people to know how very afraid of it he is." Snape stated simply. "his mental shields are very good, but my Legilemency is even better." Snape admitted with a proud little smirk. "Harry is very worried about you, he's fretting himself sick about his slight to your feelings. i dare say he nearly neutered Black this morning when the man commented on Harry's baggy eyes... is he always so... grouchy?" yes.
 
Blake was in bed, awake but refusing to move as he heard James speak to Harry. He could hear the pain and confusion in his voice but a silent voice in his head cheered him on, a part of him wanting for Harry to know how much it had hurt. He didn't think that it would affect him the way he did. He expected him to sulk around a bit and then get over it, like most people would. Blake was chewing on a piece of toast, lying in James' lap and just talking with him when Snape walked in. He turned to look at the man, watching him as he began speaking. His eyes narrowed a bit, feeling better in the fact that Pettigrew was gone but worse because now Voldemort wanted him. Why the hell did he want him? It blew Blake's mind that people were getting so worked up about him. He was nothing special really. That was why he was so confused as to why Harry listened to him and everyone treated him as if he were some precious thing that needed to be watched and protected at all times. Sure, Harry would take care of any of his children but this level of precaution was just ridiculous.

"I'm doing fine. The beds are really nice. I've never had an actual mattress before" he muttered more to himself than to anyone else. Blake looked at Snape "what does Voldemort want with me? There's nothing that I can do that would benefit him" he said, taking a bite of eggs and then sipping on some water. He was still weak and didn't really feel like practicing with Severus right now but he knew that they might not have the time to put it off and wait till later. He didn't say anything about Harry's mood. He was still slightly upset about it and wasn't ready to say anything to him yet. He smirked a bit and nodded "always". Blake shifted around so that he was more comfortable, doing things with Snape for a couple hours before he was so completely exhausted that he simply couldn't stand to be awake for any longer, glad that Snape had left then. Blake slept until it was sometime early in the morning. It was bright enough to see and a few people would be moving around quietly. He had gotten a morning report, saying Harry looked even worse today than he had the day before.

Blake got up from the bed "Blake, what are you doing?" "I'm going to go beat some sense into that boy" "and you plan on walking there?" "Yes, James. How else am I going to go?" "well a wheelchair for one, or crutches, or even a damn cane. I would prefer you not to pass out" he told him and got up quickly, beside Blake in a heartbeat. He ended up settling for crutches, still wanting to be able to move himself around. He led the way down to the kitchen, moving through the room, the conversations falling silent as they saw Blake, watching until he sat down next to Harry. "You look like shit Harry. I'm not really too hungry but when you're done you can come to my room, I'll have someone draw you up a map since you seem to have forgotten, and I'll fix your eyes up" he said, deciding that was all he had to say. James helped him up carefully and hushed silence fell upon the room again, Blake looking nowhere but in front of him. He laid back down in the bed when he got back, finding that he was winded from the effort. "I told you, but no, you had to be stubborn." James said more to himself, though the fondness in his voice was clear.

Blake watched the door open and Harry finally step into the room. "You look like a bloody mess." James got up, kissing Blake's temple and then moving outside. This was clearly between the two of them. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You've got to take care of all these kids. How are you supposed to do that if you aren't sleeping, or eating hardly. I mean, my god Harry. You'd think I'd died or something." Blake looked at him, taking a deep breath "I know you didn't mean it the way you said it but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It just felt like you weren't on my side and that what had happened...didn't hurt........so badly....." his voice faltered and he couldn't stop the tears from starting to run down his face. He hastily wiped the tears away, looking at the King. "I can't take that from you. Not when you've been so...different. You're always so kind, but that....you dismissing it like that, was worse than the curse" Blake watched the other, wondering what was going through his head and if he really cared anymore. "I can't take that Harry. I got too much of that with my mom" he admitted through a barely audible whisper, refusing to look at Harry then. He couldn't go through pain like that again.
 
Snape sighed a little and shook his head. "i don't know exactly why he wants you, but i know that it has to do with Zach." Snape admitted. "fortunately, there where no journals left where Voldemort or the Death Eaters could collect them." Snape promised Blake. "with Peter dead, he won't dare send someone else in here to try and get you." Snape admitted simply. "your safe here, despite the momentary lack of safety, Harry really does care about your safety and health." and with that he was gone, leaving Blake to sleep. Harry looked over at Blake, looking shocked and worried as he was chewed out in front of almost all of Adderstrike, and a large chunk of the Order, who had brought a months worth of food with them. "I..." Harry tried to say before snapping his mouth shut as Blake simply got back to his feet and left, the King sighing a little as he stared at his food and shoved it over to the nearest person, letting them eat it instead. "i always look like a mess." Harry muttered as he slowly moved into the room. "and it's not just you thats doing this." he assured Blake. "though you being so upset is a good part of it, i'd still look like crap even if i hadn't fucked up." Harry admitted softly as he looked at Blake, letting the other speak before shifting nervously. he didn't like to see people cry, and with a jerky motion he gently patted the others knee, it was all the contact he could allow himself.

"Blake... your the strongest person i have ever known. i know exactly what the Cruciatus is capable of... i've seen it used, on so many people... i've seen what it does." he swallowed thickly. "it was put on me for ten seconds, and i was in bed for weeks after... it's actually why i gutted the previous King." he admitted softly. "i've seen people put under it, for minutes on end... and the life in their eyes.... breaks." he admitted softly. "i've seen it drive people so insane they can't even speak or recognize anything anymore..." he turned to look at Blake. "the Cruciatus is one of the only things that honestly scares me and... and when you... when you where put under it i honestly thought that i had failed you..." he admitted softly. "i know what i said was heartless and cruel, and i never meant to dismiss your pain, or your strength. i was simply trying to hide my own fer and weakness." he hesitated and then gently took the others hand, holding Blake's hand tightly. "Your ten times the man i am Blake, and i will never forget that and you never should either. the pain you are suffering now is real, and i will not let any one of those people forget it. particularly Lupin and Dumbledore. and i myself will never forget how close i came to loosing you." he stood up and fussed on Blake's pillow.

"now rest... Severus is in the process of making a potion for you and i want to watch him make it. it's supposed to heal the nerves inside your body and make the pain hurt less so you won't get so tired so easily. i know it's crap being stuck in bed all day..." he muttered, frowning in worry. "another way that your stronger than most. i'd have been bitching about being bored three days ago." he admitted, looking vaguely amused. "or probobly sooner..." he swallowed thickly. "i can't sleep you know... i have horrible nightmares and these... people, make it worse... i look like James... my blood father, apparently. but i have my mothers eyes, and now i can see them in my sleep, screaming as their killed..." he shuddered a little. "and then i see... Him, laying there, his eyes blank, staring at me, seeing me but not KNOWING me..." he swallowed thickly and shook his head, standing up before Blake could try to comfort him... if he tried anyway. "Blake... I will never let anyone hurt you again, even if i have to kill to do it." he promised before turning and blinking at Snape who was carrying a massive, steaming mug. "this is a bathing agent. it will help him while i'm making the potion." Snape explained, Harry going bright red.

"so i have to help him into the bath..." Snape snorted a little as he looked at Harry. "why does that notion bother you?" he asked, smirking a little. "Blake is a very handsome young man, you should be eager to strip him down and..." "You go too far! i'll punish you if you keep talking!" Harry hissed, Snape pausing as he stared at harry for a long moment. "AND STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!" Snape cringed and then turned his attention to Blake. "i will help you into the Bath." he stated simply, Harry still as red as a tomato. it was kid of funny that harry was so embarrassed, and clearly whatever Snape had seen had mortified the boy. "i'll go get you a change of clean clothes." Harry promised Blake, quickly fleeing, Snape snorting a little. "that boy is so afraid of affection it's almost sad." he muttered as he helped Blake to sit up, letting James do the actual undressing and settling into the warm water while Snape carefully poured in the contents of the Vial, filling the Tub with a potion that made Blake tingle all over in a pleasant way. he still hurt on the inside, but on the outside he was almost numb. as promised, Harry had brought clean, and comfortable clothes for when Blake was done with his bath. with that done, Harry had runes carved into the room, he couldn't actually stop the Cruciatus, but he could redirect it. now if someone tried using the curse again, it would be directed at the person who did it, even if said person was using Imperio to make someone else do it. so even if Blake was placed under Imperio again, the person who cast it would suffer instead of Blake. in theory anyway.
 
If Harry hated watching someone cry Blake had him beat on how much he despised crying in front of someone else. There was almost nothing he hated more than letting himself break down in front of somebody else and to look so weak and powerless. The pat on his knee made him crack a smile, a laugh awkwardly rising to his throat amidst the tears, looking at the other with a touch of sympathy. It almost pained him as he watched Harry speak about himself and grip his hand so tightly, so afraid himself. He had never though he would hear Harry Potter admit to being afraid of anything. Harry showed that vulnerability for a few moments before it was hidden yet again, tucked away to remain there for as long as he would be able to keep it there before it bubbled to the surface again. Blake's eyes blinked slowly, looking into Harry's brilliant green "Harry," his voice was gentle and he just looked at him with a gentleness Harry probably wasn't shown often enough. "You have nightmares because you care so much that it hurts. You distance everybody in the hope that somehow you won't feel anything but it doesn't stop you from caring about them and you'll still hurt because they won't know how much they mean to you and they won't think you cared for them because you wouldn't let them know. Take all that hurt and anger you've come to know so well and turn it into the compassion that you were never shown when you truly needed it." Blake's eyes stared unwaveringly at the other, opening his mouth to say something else to him when the door opened and Snape entered.

Blake looked at Harry, giving him a look that assured Harry they were not yet finished talking about the matter. Either Blake's mind was much more innocent than Harry's or he was just naive enough not to think anything of the 'bath agent' that Snape had brought in for him. He just looked at the cup with unrestrained interest, trying to see if it had a smell or anything. He hoped it didn't smell terrible. He didn't care how good it felt if it stuck like the devil. Harry's face was bright red when Blake looked at him again, not understanding what he was saying until Severus was teasing Harry and causing his own face to flush uncontrollably and even his mouth dropped open slightly. Blake looked slightly horrified and looked between them "um...no one will be helping me into the tub, thank you. I can handle a few moments of pain to save us all the inconvenience" he said, though when James came in and took him into the bathroom he shut the door behind them so they were alone. James began kissing him so gently at first, his fingertips brushing Blake's cheek and grazing along his high cheekbones. Their eyes were closed and James began to slowly undress Blake, pulling off his jacket and shirt, dropping it beside them before moving onto his trousers. Blake couldn't help that James was being so, ridiculously arousing at the moment that it was a little embarrassing, though James clearly didn't think anything of it, though in fact he was rather flattered. James didn't touch him except to lift him gently, carefully and set him into the warm water, smiling as he pulled away, slightly breathless. Blake looked slightly flushed and smiled at the other "okay, I like bath time" he teased the other, James laughing softly and kissing him again before letting Snape in.

Blake was well hidden in the murky water, making him feel much less exposed than he had expected to be. He watched as the liquid was added, waiting for something to change. He enjoyed the way hot water could relax your muscles and ease tension but this was amazing, giggling softly as it started tingling all of his nerves before it just went numb. A quarter of the pain had left him with that, Blake already feeling so much better than he had even moments ago. Harry, that poor boy, he just tried so hard and his feelings were so clear to practically everyone except for Blake and Harry, ironically. And it wasn't one-sided. Blake was participating as well though neither of them knew it. James chose not to see it because he was too happy with Blake to even think about losing him to the one who had saved his life in the first place. He couldn't image losing Blake to Harry. That would be such a crushing blow he didn't know if he would even be able to handle it. James just hoped that Harry's intentions were to protect the boy because he had been fond of Zach and wanted to clear his name and he would protect any Adderstike in a similar fashion. Severus had left to go and work on the edible half of the potion and Blake was starting to prune from the exposure to the water, leaving the boys to their own devices.

If Blake had enjoyed the entrance to the bath he was going to be in for a treat upon exiting. James had laid down two towels onto the floor and pulled Blake out and set him down gently, sitting down and leaning against the cabinets with Blake sitting between his legs. James' lips moved along Blake's skin, his lips, jaw, neck, up to his ear, an ever so quiet sigh escaping him. All the while there was a soft, warm towel in his hands, working his way along the others body to soak up the water from his tired, beaten body. Blake felt so loved, so taken care of, he didn't know if he had ever felt so loved in his entire life. Zach had loved him, that much he knew, and maybe Zach would have been different in other circumstances but James was just so patient and kind and gentle. James' hands had gotten down to the boys legs and Blake's hands brought the blonde's back up, only slightly. "Please, James" the boy whispered, a soft plea in his ear. James looked reluctant for a few moments before the towel was dropped. James pulled him even closer, kissing him as the free arm wrapped around his body, his other hand working the boy, working muffled moans or pleasure from his lips as he tried stifling the noise. His breathing got faster and his body arched against James before he relaxed, cuddling into the other and kissing him deeply. James looked pleased with himself as he dried and cleaned them up before helping Blake to get dressed again, almost wishing they could just leave him naked for a while.

James then helped the other out of the bathroom and into the bed, both of them hoping it wasn't too obvious as to what they had been doing. He just hoped that Harry wouldn't pull him out and yell at him or give him some speech about not having sex with Blake because of his current condition. He couldn't think of anything more embarrassing than that conversation. Blake was clearly already nearing his energy limit of the day, his eyes taking longer and longer to snap open after blinking, his body slowing and he started leaning into James more and more. Snape hadn't gotten back yet so he didn't know if he should be trying to stay awake or if it was okay for him just to fall asleep again, really wanting to do the latter and then be woken up with Snape decided to show up.
 
Harry stared at Blake, clearly not understanding what the other was saying about compassion and anger and all those feelings. Harry worked very hard not to feel anything for anyone, yes he protected the children of Adderstrike but what good king wouldn't? he pretended not to notice the look that Blake shot him. Snape on the other hand, did notice and he lifted an eyebrow while he waited for Blake to be ready. "shut up Snape." Severus just smirked. "i didn't say a word My Lord." "AND DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Harry roared, storming back out of the room to deal with life on his own. he was tired of people trying to comfort him and crap, he just wanted to be left alone to wallow in his own, perfectly deserved misery. Harry and Snape where both smirking like idiots when James and Blake appeared and Harry helped settle Blake into bed, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he glanced around and then leaned forward to whisper in James ear. "Silencing spells, James... Silencing spells." and with that he skipped away, laughing his fool little head off, Snape snickering a little. "that mood altering potion i gave him really seams to be helping." he commented before either James or Blake could get worried about how strangely Harry was acting. "i got tired of him sulking. i'll be back in three hours with the other potion, you should sleep." Snape ordered Blake before sweeping out of the room to control Harry, who was talking very animatedly with Sirius, who looked a little baffled.

as promised, Snape returned three hours later with a glaring Harry, who looked about ready to murder. "you drugged me!" "you needed it." "but you Drugged me!" "you looked like your puppy died." "YOU DRUGGED ME!" "and you liked it." Harry just sputtered angily as Snape smirked and gently shook Blake awake, if he wasn't already, and helped the boy to drink his potion. it took a few moments, but soon the pain was mostly gone, he was still as weak as a kitten, but without the pain constantly draining him, he'd be on his feet and causing problems in no time. "are you feeling better Blake?" Harry asked, carefully checking Blake's temperature. "Sev says..." "DON'T CALL ME THAT" "that the potion and the curse can lower your immune system, so you'll probobly catch a cold or the flu or something equally nasty." Harry admitted, ignoring Snape completely. "you'll have to help me punish Snape later of course, i'm thinking a nice pink dress with pretty ribbons in his hair, what do you think?" Snape was sputtering in rage. "i can't just let him get away with drugging me after all or everyone will think to do it, and then mmph." he jerked, shocked as a spoon was shoved into his mouth, and then Harry drooped onto the bed with a sigh and went to sleep. "Dreamless Sleep, my greatest invention... he'll be pissed when he wakes up, but i won't be here to have to deal with it. goodbye." he chirped, leaving the room with a smirk on his lips. at least Blake could shove Harry onto, or off of the bed as he pleased now, since he wasn't hurting anymore.

in the morning, as expected Harry was in a right foul mood, and he was very intent on avoiding Blake. no matter where Blake went, if he went anywhere, Harry wasn't there. clearly Harry didn't want to continue that talk about... 'feelings'. yuck. he had even managed to miss dinner, though he had a proper excuse for that, as Sirius explained to Blake. apparently several of the Adderstrike went out on an unapproved mission and ended up getting arrested and Harry had to go down and smooth things over with the local PD. not a happy day for anyone involved. Blake even got the chance to see Harry dragging two fully grown men into Adderstrike, by the ears, giving them a tongue lashing that would have made Severus flush with envy. the grown men where sent to their rooms without supper like a couple of children and Harry huffed in annoyance as he looked at Blake. "what is it with adults and getting stupid as they get older? i mean honestly, stealing the prizes out of the cracker jack boxes in a convenience store!? i'd swear they'd been drunk if they hadn't been tested for Alcohol." he complained, sighing as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "and to make matters worse, there are reports of Voldemort being on the move. apparently he's headed this way... we might have to move. that fuckin rat, he must have told Voldemort where we are... that's alright i suppose, we're overdue for a change of location anyway..."

(i have good news for you^^ i get to keep my internet for another month^^ we managed to scrape up enough money.)
 
Blake was practically asleep by the time he hit the pillow, not hearing Harry talking or the slight blush that moved across James' face "I didn't exactly have my wand on me" he muttered from embarrassment. Although, on one level he honestly didn't care and was glad that Harry had heard them and would either spark jealousy or get him to lay off a little. Harry wasn't as flirty with everyone as he was with Blake, and that pissed James off a bit. It was a strange sight to see Harry skipping through the halls and making sing-song noises. He would have thought that Harry had lost his mind if Severus hadn't told him that he had drugged him. He almost preferred this Harry, he was so much more fun that how he usually was. James was half asleep with Blake when the two came in, Harry back to his normal agitated self and complaining about Snape the entire time. Blake woke, groaning as he sat up, still looking half asleep as he drank the potion from him. His eyes seemed to open more as he moved around, realizing that there wasn't anymore shooting pain in his limbs. "That's amazing" he muttered, looking at James with a smile. His good mood was practically contagious after seeing him bedridden and in pain for so long. Blake had almost forgotten what it felt like to be pain-free.

Harry was going on and on about something and Blake honestly didn't give a rats ass about their dumb little argument, glad when Harry was put on his ass for once, pushing him off of the bed. James dragged him out into the hall when Snape left, telling someone to take him back to his room and put him to bed. One of the first orders of business after Snape left was to put the silencing spells on the room and the next, due to Blake's sudden lack of pain, was to 'break in' the bed. They laid there together, smiles on both of their faces as they talked quietly, even though no one could hear them. They decided to redecorate then, Blake mentioning things he liked at James would make something work, the space looking much brighter and more modern than it had before. The next morning they went out, Blake glad that he didn't need the chair or even crutches, leaning on James slightly because his legs were weak, not from the pain. He kept looking for Harry, even walking around to try and find him, noticing that he happened to be everywhere he looked, right before Blake showed up. It ended up pissing him so badly that he just went back to his room and laid with James, putting in a movie though he couldn't pay attention well with the blonde running a hand through his hair and kissing his neck and their bodies pressed together.

When they went out towards the beginning of dinner they managed to watch as Harry drug a couple of men inside and sent them to their rooms as if they were five year olds caught with their hands in the cookie jar. That was when Harry decided he was going to try and speak with Blake, the boy looking at Harry, clearly unamused. "They do seem to get more childish when they get older, avoiding someone all day so they don't have to talk to them or listen to their silly little problems. I'm glad we all grew out of that, it would be a real pain in the ass to have to worry about something like that now" he said annoyed, turning away from him, not giving a shit about Voldemort or any of it. He and James went and got food and took it back to their room, eating some while Blake pulled out some of the journals, flipping through them and muttering sometimes to himself. James was laid out behind him as it started getting later, Blake absentmindedly playing with his hair as he read through the journals, noting a couple pages that had been partially ripped out. Blake was growing less fond of Harry by the day with the little things he said and did, all it felt like was that Harry was either completely uninterested in him or that he was sick of him and couldn't figure out a better way to go about it. Well, Blake would just help him out and not have anything more to do with the cowardly 'King' of Adderstrike.

((Yay! It's a cinco de mayo day miracle! ;) ))
 
Snape snickered a little at James Blush and smirked at Blake when he crowed his Potions amazement. "thank you, i'm glad that you approve. i developed this potion myself... unfortunately it can't bring people back when they've been tortured to insanity, but i am working on that." Snape admitted with a shake of his head. "Harry is even helping me, as much as he can. he actually prepared all of the ingredients for your potion. he's good with a knife." Snape admitted as he patted Blake's knee. "make sure to limit yourself. no double fucks alright? you'll pull something and i really don't want to have to come in here and heal that. wait at least a half an hour between fucks." and with that he was gone, laughing maniacally for getting both men to go bright red. not a very good bedside manner. the next day everyone was more than happy to be nice to Blake, with the information that Zach might not have been a traitor, everyone was eager to led Blake any assistance he needed to find out for sure. no one mentioned Harry though, sensing neither Blake nor James would appreciate it.

Harry watched Blake for a moment as the other yelled at him and his eyes narrowed. "the world revolves around you then does it!?" he demanded harshly. "ever think that maybe i just didn't want to talk about feelings like some little girl? or that maybe i've been running my ass around all day, fixing the structural damage before it collapsed on our heads? or that maybe i was drugged against my will and now have a migraine that could kill a hippogryph!? is EVERYTHING about YOU Blake!? your nothing but a spoiled little brat!" and with that, Harry was gone, slamming the door shut. while all of that had been true, they where just excuses. Harry was awkward, he was running away from the painful emotional agony that he had every time he realized that Blake didn't like him. James had taken Blake before Harry even had a chance, and that just wasn't fair. first his 'Baabaa', then his 'Unle Zach' and now Blake... was everyone Harry loved going to be taken away from him? he looked himself in his room, silenced it, and had himself a good cry. even he could cry, when he knew that he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. it was better for Blake this way, Harry would push him away, push him to James, they both deserved happiness after their crappy lives and the only thing Harry could give them was death and pain. he finally told someone to go check on Blake's progress with the journals, he didn't know who and he didn't care.

so, an hour and a half after the 'fight' Sirius Black was knocking on the door hessitantly asking permission to enter. once he had permission he stepped inside and blinked at the changed room with wide eyes. "wow, amazing. the lower levels are pretty awesome, and don't worry i have permission to be down here. one of the older dudes mind raped every corner of my soul so their pretty sure i'm harmless." he paused. "....actually, now that i think about it, i think i'm insulted!" he complained, grumbling and grouching. "anyway, i think the 'King' is having a mental breakdown or something because he sent me of all people to check on the journals and see if you had a chance to find out anything interesting... he didn't even recognize me when he told me to do it, which was weird, usually he looks at me with something like horror... i wonder why he's horrified of me? i don't stink do i?" typical Sirius. as always, completely insane. "so did you find out anything about Zach? i always liked the guy, he didn't look at me funny or make fun of me or anything, and he always loved to hear about the Marauders. i was pretty pissed when i found out that he'd been killed by Death Eaters... Snape came and told us... neglected to mention that he had you though, a good thing i guess, considering what that bastard peg leg did to you." he paused for a moment and then. "so, anything new?" at least everyone already knew that Sirius was a little bit insane.

(Cinco De Mayo, i've heard about that but i don't actually know what it is. it's a festival of some kind, right? celebrating the dead?)
 
Blake looked surprised, confused and then angry as Harry yelled at him. It felt like his chest was being crushed as he watched him leave, taking him a few moments to catch up to what had happened. He looked so lost and his mood plummeted, going back to his room with James but saying nothing. He remained silent even when they heard the knock on the door, James speaking up and telling him that he could come in. James watched Blake as Sirius just went on and on and on. He clearly wasn't interested and even cringed a little when he heard Black refer to Harry as the 'King'. He finally shut the book and set it down, turning slowly to look at Sirius "if Harry wants to know so badly he can walk his own ass down here and ask me himself. I am not relaying him messages through you or anyone else so you can get the fuck out of my room and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Blake yelled, looking more angry than he ever had. "James. Please leave. I just need to be by myself for a little while" he said, Blake looking hesitant before leaving him alone. Once he was finally by himself he pitched a temper tantrum that would have rivaled Harry if anyone had been able to hear it. Thankfully no one could.

People tried getting him to let them in, especially James, and Blake only yelled at them to go away, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. He let out a heavy sigh and waited for it to get dark, grabbing a few things and muttering a spell he had found in Zach's writing for temporary invisibility. He managed to get through the halls and out the door without getting caught, inhaling deeply with the fresh, night air. He had left all the journals, the borrowed clothes, and a note, asking for them not to follow him and just let him be. What happened would happen, even if it was his own death. He wandered around for a while before he went and found his one childhood friend, deciding to see if she would let him stay with her for a few days which she, of course, had no issue with.

By the time James had had enough and forced his way into the room Blame was long gone, freaking out and looking for something that let him know where the other was at, finding the note and going straight to Harry "How can you not pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize how much he fucking cares for you? All you do is bitch and moan because you were abused as a child and you've got no one. Well guess what! Neither does half of us here, and neither does Blake! That boy craves your attention and approval no matter how much I'm there with him. I hate you because you just keep pushing him away and hurting him more and more and he just shuts down. So THIS is all your fault" he yelled, shoving the paper into his chest and turning around. "Don't worry about kicking me out cause I'm leaving to go find him and maybe I'll be able to talk some sense into him!" James was absolutely fuming and he wouldn't be surprised if Harry jumped on his ass right then and beat the shut out of him but he didnt care. He needed to hear it and realize what he was doing to Blake, who he supposedly cared so much about.
 
Sirius jumped, looking confused and upset that he was being yelled at. "hey! don't shoot the messenger!" he complained as he fled, not about to deal with a hormonal teenager. Sirius hid with Remus for the rest of the night, complaining about how insane the people of Adderstrike where, not that he was one to talk. Harry turned to blink at James for a long moment and then. "i don't give a shit about my abuse." Harry hissed, his hand reaching out and grabbing James sleeve. it was the first willing contact Harry had ever initiated, aside from the pat to Blake's knee. "Blake... he looks so much like Tommy... but he acts so much like my Baabaa..." Harry shuddered a little. "you don't know this, you came after i was King..." he swallowed thickly. "everyone i like, everyone i love, dies. it's a curse... i have to keep him away, so i don't hurt him... i have to keep you, and Sirius, and Blake away so you don't suffer even more... it hurts... so much, but i have to be strong..." he swallowed thickly and then stood up taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes. "i'll help you find him." he muttered. "he won't want to talk to me but i can at least track him." he muttered, glancing at James. "maybe your right... i thought that pushing him away would protect him but... i'm just hurting him..." he swallowed again, shook his head, and right before James eyes, Harry James Potter turned into a massive black wolf with emerald eyes.

he moved immidiatly down the stairs to Blake's room where he got the scent and started trotting through the street, his nose to the ground. people where wary of such a big 'dog' but no one did anything, and Harry was only faintly aware of the fact that he had, at some point, lost James. Harry loved having such a good nose, it led him straight to the door where Blake had ducked into. he changed back into Harry and closed his eyes, hesitating before he knocked on the door, hoping that Blake would talk to him. he couldn't beleive how stupid he had been, but then, he'd always been stupid when it came to Tommy, and apparently when it came to Blake. he wished his Baabaa was still around, still sane. then myabe none of this would have happened. "Blake?... i came to apologize... please open the door. i didn't mean the shitty things i sais i was just..." he sighed. "i was a dick, Blake... and i was trying to push you away so that you wouldn't know... wouldn't see... i was pushing you away because seeing you hurts, deep inside for reasons that... that you can't even imagine... please open the door... i won't try to push you away anymore and James will kick my ass if i don't come back with you..." there was a pause and then a snort. "oh god, i can't beleive i'm actually afraid of James of all people... oh well, it can't be helped i guess..." there was a pause and then. "i'll take you out for Ice Cream? and tell you why i'm such a Dick when it comes to you? it's not a very nice story but.... at least maybe then you'll understand why i'm such a fucked up guy?"

(ugh, short post is short ><)
 
James felt the grip on his sleeve and he froze, his jaw clenching with anger. He didn't want for Harry to help him find the boy, he wanted to go and find Blake himself so maybe he would just forget about Harry altogether and be happy with him. He didn't think Blake was intentionally using him or hurting him but it was clear even to him how Blake felt about Harry and it would stay that way until they were together or Harry hurt him enough that he couldn't stand to be around him anymore and James couldn't just sit by and watch that happen. He cared about Blake too much and he knew that if he was pushed that far he would be broken. He couldn't handle losing someone else he wanted in his life. It would very likely break him in two. He finally turned around to look at him as he finished talking and then became a wolf. James' eyes were huge and his mouth was open slightly as he looked at it...Harry....or whatever the hell it was. He attempted to follow Harry for a while but he just moved too fast, James cursing him even after he was out of earshot. He kept going in Harry's general direction for a little while, he knew his way around these parts so he would be able to find his way back. He couldn't find him, swearing softly to himself as he kicked rocks and cans on his way back to the building. In a flash of smoke a man appeared in front of him and looked at him, he had long, blonde hair and a cane with a snake's head as the handle. "Have you seen my Blake? I've been looking and can't find him anywhere" "Fuck off." All of a sudden the tip of a wand was pushed against his carotid, swallowing thickly as he looked up at the male. "I think you'd prefer to keep your head, wouldn't you?" He asked, his tone almost sickly sweet and James nodding a bit. "Good. Now, I want you to give this to that little King of yours so he understands where we're at. We'll be in touch" he told him, a dark smile on his face as he looked down at James, disappearing. James took of running, not stopping until he was safely inside the walls of Adderstrike, going to find Snape and Remus, telling them everything.

He pulled a little piece of paper out of his pocket and flattened it, showing it to Snape, the writing in a curly script Snape would instantly recognize. 'Dear, dear boy. You've got something that belongs to me. You see, you've got my son. You've been calling him Blake but that's not the name we chose for him. You've been using his muggle name. His mother and I named him Draco before he was stolen from us. Just ask Snape, yes, I know he's with you but assure him the Dark Lord does not. Snape will agree, he looks like me besides his wretched black hair. His personality is even like mine, Severus will agree completely with that. His magic is strong, pureblooded. Give him to us or I will be forced to come and get him myself. And I won't be alone. -Lucius Malfoy' James didn't know what any of it really meant besides the fact that it was bad. He looked at Snape, hoping that he would be some source of understanding as James was completely clueless.

After Harry knocked on the door a woman opened it. She was short thing, thin, with spiky red hair and a lip ring. She looked back into the apartment as Harry started talking, obviously looking to see if Blake was going to come to the door or not. She didn't stop him because Blake hadn't told her what was going on and why he was there so she wanted to see who this boy was and why he was such a dick and needed to apologize and get Blake.....ice cream? That was hysterical. "God Blake! I knew you were gay!" she said, laughing as he popped his head around the corner to look at Harry. He still looked angry, though he was obviously more hurt than angry. "You are too so what's the difference?" he shot back at her affectionately, causing her to laugh. "He's cute Blake. One to ten?" She asked him, looking more serious. He wrinkled his nose as if he were thinking and then "about an eight and a half." She turned and hit Harry's arm "you fucker! I shouldn't have even opened the door!" She looked angry and protective of Blake, almost like a big sister and that was pretty much how Blake thought of her. She looked Harry up and down and then glanced back at Blake "who's James?" "He's like Zach" "a pedophile?" "he's dead, so shut up" "sorry Blake, I know how much you liked him" "I know" "is he too" "Harry? Yeah, he is" "weird. Prove it" she added, turning to Harry. Blake rolled his eyes and looked at Harry "she wants you to do magic" he groaned, feeling like an idiot. He could only imagine how Harry was feeling. After a few more minutes he grabbed his coat and just walked out, the girl laughing "finally, I was almost running out of things to ask him about" Blake looked back at her "see you later, Selene."

Blake was hesitant to speak, still not very happy with Harry. He hadn't decided to come back yet. He could just stay with Selene and he'd be just fine without all of them and magic, he'd just give it up and have a normal life. He didn't want to forgive Harry. He wanted to just be immune to him and be able to ignore him without feeling anything but somehow he just managed to rope Blake in every time he did something stupid and made Blake fall for him all over again. It was why he had gotten with James in the first place. He had reached out to Harry and he had shut down and hadn't reciprocated in the slightest and Blake couldn't make Harry like him. "There's no excuse for you to treat me the way you have. I've lost people, too, Harry. I still manage to act like a decent human being and try to forgive and talk to people. People die. It happens. Whether you love them or not has nothing to do with it. Loving them makes it easier to deal with their death because then at least you know that you shared something special with them and you won't regret not doing something with them. I'm not going to continue trying to have some sort of relationship with you when all you do is hurt me and push me away. I just can't deal with that anymore." He looked at Harry, almost scared of what he was going to say. It was different deciding in your mind that someone was done with you and then actually having the person say they were done with you. It was much more final than your own imagination trying to protect you.
 
Sirius gripped the letter tightly, his hand shaking as he shook his head. "fuck... Blake is that bastards son! there's no fucking way! Lucius is Lying!" "there's a way to be sure." Snape was there as well, Snape was always there when something interesting was happening. "Blake does have the features of a Malfoy, and the Attitude but i have deep doubts that Lucius would have allowed a child of his to grow up in the Muggle world. he's an ass but even he would not allow for some muggle man to... do such things to his spawn... i can however cast a spell and use a potion to determine Blake's parentage, complete with names, and blood statuses. Purebloods often use it to determine if someone can be hired in a certain level within the Ministry." "and what do we do if the boy IS Lucius's Spawn!? we can't give Blake to that bastard!" "and we won't." Snape assured Sirius. "i didn't risk my life saving him, just to turn him over to the enemy. and Harry won't allow for it either, he's stronger than Lucius gives him credit for. i've never met a boy so skilled in occlumency that he can hide his own magic, but Harry can... Harry is even stronger than Albus is... he's untrained though, he needs to be taught." "then we'll teach him... does Harry even have a wand?" not that anyone in Adderstrike had ever seen. "Stolen though... do you suppose Lucius is telling the truth? that Blake was kidnapped as a baby? it's nearly impossible really. most Purebloods place blood trackers on their offspring... even i had one and my mother hated me!" Sirius admitted with a shake of his head.

~~**~~

Harry blinked as a woman answered the door, looking stunned as he blinked at her, he didn't even wince when she struck him, he just took it, and accepted it as part of his punishment. "hey! Zach wasn't a pedophile! Blake is just irresistible!" Harry protested, defending his uncle before snorting as he flipped his wrist and used a summoning spell to call a vase into his hand. "satisfied?" he asked looking amused. "i'd do something else but the only other magic i know is destructive and or deadly." he admitted, handing her the vase back. "there is never an excuse... but i do have the fact that i was driven insane when i was twelve in my defense... i'm not... good with people and i... well frankly, i'm a bitter idiot." Harry admitted sighing a little. "when i was Six, Zach and another man named Arnold rescued me from the Drusley's. i was a broken child, as all people in Adderstrike are... it's what happened... after Adderstrike though, that... well that broke me beyond repair." Harry admitted softly. "Arnold became my Baabaa... that's 'father' in some weird language that he kept trying to teach me. i'm just not smart enough for that many words. i can barley understand English sometimes." Harry admitted, glancing at the other before heading to a muggle Ice-Cream shop.

"Arnold and Zach taught me pretty much everything i know. the previous King, Thompson, was an angry, bitter man, and his Son Tommy, was being groomed to be the next King. Baabaa and i, where the closest thing to Family that Tommy ever had, i loved Tommy and Baabaa and Zach like i've never loved anyone before you." Harry admitted softly. "you look like him... like Tommy..." he admitted softly, swallowing thickly. "when i was ten i did something stupid..." he admitted softly. "i declared my love for Tommy, and... well we got.. intimate. we where too young for sex but we... explored... a little too much apparently because Thomas found out. he held me under the Crucio for so long that... that i forgot Tommy... for a year i FORGOT him.... i would look at him and i didn't know who he was. i only came back, when i saw Baabaa being tortured. Thomas had told Baabaa to kill me, because 'i was useless'... i was also helpless... Baabaa is still in the Adderstrike you know... he was held under Crucio for almost ten minutes... he wont ever come back. he looks at me and he doesn't know me. Tommy was upset, but i remembered him now... i killed Thomas. gutted him like a fish and..." he swallowed thickly. "and Tommy died two days later from a wound i had accidentally afflicted onto him. i kill everyone i love, even Zach... if i had just noticed he was sick, or stressed, or something, anything maybe he wouldn't have died..." he shook his head and shoved his hands in his pocket. "after that day, i have worked very hard to be a good king, and to never love, or touch anyone again." Christ, no wonder Harry was fucked up. to have a Father who didn't know you, to have been tortured to that level of insanity, to have killed your own lover... "i pushed you away... because... like Tommy your too perfect for something like me... and like Tommy, eventually i will be your death..." he paused and looked up from where he'd been stabbing his sundae. "do you want my ice-cream? i forgot how much i hate this stuff..." he admitted, making a face at the frozen treat.
 
Blake had blushed slight at the fact that apparently he was 'irresistible'. He didn't speak much as he listened to Harry explain everything, taking Harry's hand and weaving his fingers with the others. He held onto him if he tried pulling away, forcing him to just endure it for the time being. He hadn't known any of this and he wondered if anyone did besides him now that Zach was gone and 'Baabaa' couldn't remember anything regarding Harry. Once they had gotten something to eat they sat at a picnic table away from other people, Blake sitting across from him and trying to keep the emotions from his eyes. He knew Harry would take it as pity though he just felt for the boy and how much he had been through, how much they had both been through so young. He leaned against his hand and played with his ice cream some, taking a bite every so often. Zach had taken him here occasionally and he had always gotten the same thing though ended up eating half of Zach's instead so he just got what Zach had always gotten, though finding that he couldn't bring himself to eat hardly any of it. He looked at Harry when offered the treat and shook his head with a sad smile. He let go of the cup and clasped his hands together to warm them again, trying to figure out how he was going to word this to him.

"You said yourself it was an accident. Accidents can't be helped. Sometimes bad things happen and there isn't anything you can do about it. That's just the way things work sometimes, it sucks but it's the truth." He said as gently as he could, thinking about Zach "There was no way you were going to be able to tell anything about Zach. You know how well he kept his own feelings and problems hidden when he didn't want anyone prying. Besides, if you had figured something out he might not have found me and I would have died if he hadn't gotten to me when he did" he told Harry. Harry didn't realize the state Blake had been in when Zach had found him. It was terrible and he almost didn't make it. "You not knowing about him probably saved my life" he said to him, smiling a little at Harry. He snorted a bit when he said that his death would be due to Harry. "I'm so sorry, that was really very inconsiderate but honestly Harry, I've had so many close calls with death, we're on pretty close terms" he smirked. It was a terrible joke but it was the easiest way for him to deal with things. "Eventually someone's going to get me and it isn't going to have anything to do with you. Everyone has their time, Harry. I try not to dwell on it otherwise it would drive me crazy. If I did I wouldn't be here with you, I'd be out trying to find those Death Eaters who killed Zach. I still plan on getting the one but it isn't my life mission, either."

They got up and threw away their half-eaten cups of ice cream. He sighed and looked up at Harry, stopping and backing up until he was leaning against one of the brick walls "I understand why you act the way you do but I don't want to go back and get stuck between the sweet, caring you and the angry, self-loathing you and James on top of that. It isn't fair to him when I feel something for you, thinking you feel something for me, too. He's such a sweet guy and I can't stand going between you and him." Blake closed his eyes for a few moments, not really knowing what he wanted to do. "C'mere" he requested softly, opening his eyes to look at Harry, waiting until he got closer and touched his shoulder first, lightly. His fingers moved up his body and curled around his neck, pulling him slightly closer so their lips were almost touching. "So do you want me or not?" Blake asked him so, so softly. He wasn't going to initiate anything more. He had gotten Harry to this point and if he couldn't follow through now then there wasn't anything more that Blake could do about it. He'd cut Harry out of his heart and he'd bleed a bit but he'd heal and move on to someone who wanted to be with him. He just didn't want to keep trying to convince Harry of their feelings and that everything he blamed himself wasn't his fault.
 
Harry jerked as he suddenly found himself holding hands and tried to get away from it, but finally realized that he couldn't without actually yanking his hand away, and he'd hurt Blake enough. he submitted to the touch, but he was jerky and awkward about it, as if he simply didn't know how to hold hands... he probobly didn't, and if one thought hard enough about it, denying himself touch was probably a self induced punishment. "yeah... Zach was a bit of a shit when it came to keeping secretes... he's the one who taught me Occlumency you know. he, and apparently Snape are the only ones who can break through my barriers... his where even stronger, he could even hide his emotions he was so good at it..." he lifted an eyebrow at Blake's snort, looking rather indignant but didn't say anything. instead he looked at his untouched ice-cream and sighed a little as he poked and played with it. "it was easier when i could hide in myself." he complained. "it's not fair that you can pull me out of myself with just a look..." he looked up at Blake. "i'm glad that Zach found you, i'm glad you where with him when he died. Zach hated to be alone, i'm glad someone was with him..." he admitted softly, swallowing thickly as he threw away his ice-cream and followed the other through the streets.

"the problem is, Blake, is that i can't... choose between the my selves. some days are better than others but the pain of the Crucio never really left me. i might look pretty, and whole but i was broken into a thousand pieces and it's only a shoddy glue that keeps me together. no matter what i do, some days i'm going to be sweet, some days i'm going to be a pissy bastard and some days i'm going to be so depressed i can't even get out of bed... if you want ME, then you have to take ALL of me." he admitted softly. "and in any case, James is better for you. he's stable, he's always kind and he won't ever make you cry." Harry muttered his eyes widening as he found himself so very close to Blake's face. his lip trembled, and there was a panic in Harry's eyes even as he leaned down and kissed Blake deeply, moving his mouth against the others before he slowly pulled back. "you should be with James but... i'm just selfish enough to want you anyway." he muttered softly. "i shouldn't take you from James..." he muttered, swallowing thickly as he slowly backed away, his gaze hungry, STARVING for Blake. all the emotions where there, it was only Harry's stupid nobleness that was gettign in the way now. "...do you think James would be up for a three way?"... or not.
 
Blake shrugged his shoulders a little "well that makes it easy for us then. We won't have to waste time on other bullshit like when you'll say nothing's wrong when it actually is" he said, smirking a little. That would actually save a ton of time and effort that they wouldn't have to use arguing about it. He took a deep breath "I'm glad I was with him, too. It would've been terrible if he was alone. I just wish I would've had the time to say goodbye first" he said softly, trying not to think about those final few moments before the flash of green. "Harry, I do want all of you, that's why I keep trying even though you keep pushing me away" Blake smiled a bit at the other "I want to help hold you together, if you'll let me" he said, softer. He tensed a little as he watched the other move in closer to him, feeling his heart stop as their lips touched. Harry pulled away far too soon for his liking, biting his lip a bit as he looked at the other. It made him feel much better that Harry looked at him with a deep longing as well instead of doing what Blake wanted to keep him around longer.

By that point Blake looked a little angry "don't I have a say in this? Who decided that James owns me? I'm going to be with who I want to be with and I don't really think you two can just decide for me who I get to be with" he said to him, angry that it felt like he wasn't going to get a choice in his own flipping relationships. He heard Harry speak again and his jaw dropped, suddenly speechless. "I.....uh......I guess you'd have to ask him about that" he muttered, not even knowing what he thought about that idea. He had never even considered having a threesome. Ever. He wasn't repulsed by the idea by any means but he had just never thought about having sex with two people...at the same time. Even minutes later he still didn't know what to say about it, simply looking at Harry and then away again, walking towards Adderstrike without any hurry. He would have preferred not to go back so soon but the pain was starting to kick in and he was going to see if Snape had any more of that magic potion before he collapsed from the pain he knew would be coming.
 
Harry looked rather confused at Blake, his head tilted a little. "that's right... you where right next to him when he died.. i'd forgotten..." he admitted softly. "that's something no one should have to see..." he muttered before giving Blake a rather confused look, as if he wasn't sure why anyone would want to be with him. it simply didn't make sense to him, not in the least, why someone would want to keep his glue from unsticking... he smirked as Blake complained and he shrugged. "it's your own fault for leading James on. it's not fair to him you know, you suddenly deciding to go with me instead of him, and James has already lost so much... your the first person he's talked to since i rescued him i'll have you know." he complained to Blake. "i won't have you breaking his heart just because we have feelings for each other." he stated simply. "i will talk to James however. i'm sure we can come to an agreement, i know you like him just as much as you like me... but i'm a very... troubled, and very busy guy... i can't always be there when you'll need me and there are days when..." here he hesitated. "well, there are days when i can't be touched at all. not even a handshake. it hurts to much, physically and emotionally." he admitted simply. "it can last hours, or days and potions can't help with the pain of Sensita nervosa." sensitive nerves?... how badly had Harry been damaged by his own encounter with a Crucio? for that matter, why wasn't Blake more affected by the Crucio? was Blake honestly simply stronger than Harry?

"your starting to hurt again..." he muttered, looking worried as he examined Blake, hesitating for a moment before scooping the boy up into his arms and carrying him into Adderstrike, shaking his head a little. "you know, you really have to stop running away all the god damn time." he complained. "it's a pain in the ass fetching you back... you haven't even been back for a full week!" he complained with a sigh as he walked into Adderstrike, ignoring the gaping mouths and wide eyes as people witnessed Harry willingly carrying someone else. willingly TOUCHING someone else. he carried Blake all the way to his room and gently settled him onto the bed with a grin as he tucked the other in. "now rest, i'll have the wards reset so that nothing but James and Me can get in." he promised the other. "you really have to stop putting yourself in danger." he complained, sighing a little. "i'm going to end up strapping you to the bed one of these days." he complained, but it was a teasing complaint, they both knew Harry would never force Blake to be where he didn't want to be... though being strapped to the bed WAS a fun idea. "i'll go find James. you rest."

Harry shook his head as soon as he was out of sight of Blake and headed for the others scent. he loved being a Wolf sometimes, even in human form, he could access the best parts of his Animal side, the sight, the smell, the hearing. only senses though, he couldn't just summon up the ears and tail. he stepped into the room which contained Snape, Sirius, Lupin and James and quirked an eyebrow. "...is something the matter?" he asked, looking instantly alert as Snape handed Harry a letter, his head quirked to the side. "...Lucius Malfoy is a pureblood. if his child was 'stolen' then he LET it be stolen." Harry muttered with a sniff and narrowed eyes that promised pain. "Lucius Malfoy will not get his hands on Blake, he'll just take him straight to Voldemort to be tortured again... the question is, do we tell Blake?" "no, the question is, if we tell Blake in his emotionally fragile state, will he go running to Lucius just to say he has a father?" Snape muttered, Making Harry grimace. he'd seen that happen often enough with adults who wanted a child to neglect. he always ended up having to rescue the little dunderheads... but he had to admit, if someone popped up right now claiming to be James Potter... yeah, he'd go too. "we'll show him the letter and explain the situation. i won't hide things from Blake." Harry ordered firmly. "it's his life too and he has the right to make the decisions on it. now if you don't mind, i must speak to James in private."
 
Blake understood that Harry liked James and didn't want to see him hurt, Blake didn't want to hurt him either. Harry was right, Blake had just as strong of feelings for James as he did Harry, and it was so strange and foreign to him. He had never been in a situation like this before and he didn't know that he liked it all that much. He honestly wished he only liked one of them, then it wouldn't be a difficult decision. He really didn't think he could even hurt James. It just felt so natural with him and he was so kind and gentle and caring. Harry needed someone though. He needed someone to pull him out of himself and show him that people can be good and care about another person and show him kindness and from what he had seen Harry wouldn't let anyone close and he had managed to get closer than anyone else before him so he just had to take advantage of that. Plus, he didn't know what it was, if it was his connection to Zach or the fact that they were so similar but he felt this draw towards Harry like a moth to light, always bringing him back whether he wanted it or not. He hadn't said much, just thinking about what Harry had said already and thinking about James and what he was going to say to him, that conversation was not at the top of his list of things he wanted to do.

"What?" he asked, turning to look at him when he was scooped up into the others arms, frowning a moment "oh Harry, I can walk just fine. It's not that much further" he complained, though Harry clearly wasn't having any of that so he just shut up and tried to enjoy the ride. It took him a few minutes to realize that Harry was actually touching him willingly, that he was actually holding him. Not even an hour ago he had cringed away from his touch and now he was being carried into Adderstrike like a newly married couple. No wonder everyone was staring at them when they entered. He had never seen Harry touch anyone as a normal gesture unless it was him, and even with him he could tell it was awkward for the boy. It started to make him feel a bit uncomfortable about their relationship. What would everyone else think when they saw Harry so dark and distant for so long and then he appears and Harry starts softening, maybe not so noticeably at first but then watching him start touching people? What would they all think? "I'm not putting myself in danger. I was at a friends house" he argued, settling into his bed with a sigh, this was so much more comfortable than walking around though he missed the loss of heat when he was let go of.

Blake's eyebrow raised as he heard the other and a low comment came from him before he could even help it "you promise?" He blushed a bit and then tried to play it off like he hadn't even said anything, thinking that would be much less awkward than talking about it. He shifted in his bed and repeated Harry about getting some rest. "Okay Harry, thanks again" he said softly as he started moving out of the room. He could not even believe that he had said that to Harry after their whole awkward conversation before about Harry and James and Harry not okay with being touched sometimes. God, he was a mess. Maybe Harry would be better if Blake just let him be. He wouldn't have to come after him all the time and then he wouldn't have to torment himself about him dying because Harry cared about him. Maybe it would just be easier that way, though Blake didn't really want to do it the easy way if that was going to be the case. It was only a few minutes of silence and Blake was out cold, the adventure this morning taking a lot out of him, especially with Snape's potion wearing off now. In that sense he was glad he was back, in another he felt like he was trapped here again, with nothing to look forward to or move towards.

James hadn't said much while the 'adults' were talking, simply watching the interaction between them for a while, looking surprised and slightly angry when Harry came into the room. He managed not to say anything and then apparently Harry wanted to speak with him in private. When they were alone James spoke softly though he was so visibly angry "you left me. I wandered around looking for you and looking for you and you wouldn't even know he was gone if I hadn't told you. And then I come back and I get attacked and almost killed by some fucking death eater and I didn't even know where he was at" he said, his voice going from angry to a more hopeless, desperate sound of worry and loss. It was written all over his face, his body, and in his words that he was worried sick, miserably sick with fear and worry that Blake wouldn't be found, or that he would be dead when he was. Even worse, that Blake had left to get away from him because he couldn't just tell him that he didn't want to be with him any more. That he wanted Harry but couldn't tell him that so he just ran away instead. He was fighting the tears now, turning away from Harry so he wouldn't have to look at his face while he was told that Blake didn't want to see or talk to him anymore. James wouldn't be here when morning came. It wouldn't take much to find him, either, not that they would have looked very hard if he was gone. They'd find him on the pavement outside or hanging from the ceiling in his bathroom. Maybe then he could just find some peace.
 
Harry smirked a little. "hush. i am in the right frame of mind, and i'm not in pain, let me hold you this once." he ordered calmly. he almost seamed to enjoy Blake, an it was clear that this easy contact was going to be a very rare occurrence. "you where in danger Blake. you are always in danger." he stated simply as he carefully settled the other onto the bed before flashing the other a wicked smirk as he leaned forward, his ears brushing the others ear. "i'll tie you up anytime you like." he breathed before leaving with a wicked cackle. well aware he'd probobly left Blake fairly aroused. he grimaced as James chastised him and he nodded. "i know James. i'm sorry. i never should have left you on your own like that. my only excuse it that i'm too obsessive for my own damn good." he admitted simply, baring his teeth in a snarl. "when we capture Lucius, i'll let you be the one to deal with him first." he promised. "i want the man... not here, here is too close to Blake. we'll hold him in one of the old abandoned Safe houses. as him a few questions... i don't trust that pissy blond pureblood." Harry admitted, his voice angry that Lucius had dared threaten one of his. "until then, i want you to stay with Blake. he needs you." he hesitated, fidgeted and then settled his hand on James shoulder, squeezing tightly.

"Listen James... Blake is, very confused." Harry murmured softly. "he's in love with two people equally, or he thinks he doe anyway. he doesn't know what to do so i promised him i'd talk to you. that boy has gone through enough in this life without having to worry about saying the wrong things and driving off the only people he feels loves him." Harry admitted softly, worried about Blake and that was easy to see. "i love Blake very much, and i know you do too, and he loves us... he won't choose and we both know it, so i was hoping you might consent to a three way relationship, with us... sharing, for lack of a better word, Blake..." he bit his lip. "the thing is, as much as i love him, i know eventually my... damages, will get to be too much. he thinks he loves me now but in a month, or a year down the line my constant inability to touch him whenever he wants... will drive him away. and it's not just Mental... if anyone can... fix, me, it's Blake." Harry admitted looking amused. "he's so pig headed! he made a girl punch me!" he complained, sulking a little before shaking his head. "i don't want to hurt him James and i sure as hell don't want to hurt you. your the closest thing to a..." here he swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. Harry couldn't even say it... freind. Harry didn't need freinds, as he tried to tell himself, and yet there James was, as close to a freind as Harry had ever had. "he needs you.. you know." Harry admitted softly, sounding so very jealous. "you can give him everything that i can't. love, affection, touch, even sex..." Harry wrinkled his nose. "messy thing that, Sex..." he flushed suddenly. "i've never had sex actually, is it true that it hurts?" Harry asked, blinking at James before shaking his head. "i suppose it doesn't matter much. not like anyone's going to be crawling up MY ass." there was no way Harry could trust anyone to be submissive to. well, maybe Blake... maybe... yeah no it wasn't going to happen.

"anyway, Blake will eventually realize i'm not the guy he wants. right? so you can handle this for a little while, right? and if he never decides, i'll just quietly withdraw my affections..." Harry would never stop loving Blake, and they both knew it, but Harry was a self sacrificing sort of guy. even if he loved Blake, he knew he wasn't good for Blake, so he would let Blake and James be together because they deserved each other and Harry didn't. Harry knew that, and Harry knew that James knew that, but Harry also knew that Blake didn't know that, which was why he was talking to James alone. so that Blake wouldn't find out ad be pissed that Harry was deciding for him again, even if everyone knew that Harry was right, and was making the right decision. "now... whose telling Blake about this letter?" Harry asked, looking down at the letter again. "is there any way to tell if this... Pure-blood" he spoke with a sneer. "is telling the truth? anyway to know if Blake is really this bastards son?" he started walking down the hall, intending on telling Blake himself. it was too important to make James do it on his own. "i'll get team Alpha on this bastard... find out who he is and whatnot." Team Alpha was the information gatherers. in the muggle, and in the wizarding world. if you had a file, they could get it. they also 'stalked' their prey, taking photos and finding out every detail of their life. once Alpha was done, Strike was usually called in... they where the ones that did the nabbing and the kidnapping.
 
The fact that Harry responded to Blake that way was absolutely astounding. Blake sat there, his mouth gaping as Harry took off, laughing aloud at himself. What was bad was that he would say that now but then if Blake actually did want something like that Harry wouldn't feel up to it and would bail on him again. He wanted to almost force Harry just to take it and try to help him get over it but he was so against doing anything uncomfortable that Blake didn't even know if he would be able to help him through it. James didn't think that Harry would agree with him so easily. He was expecting a fight or at least a rough reality check to put him into his place, which was far, far below Harry on the totem pole. The anger and disgust was practically radiating off of Harry as he spoke about Lucius. His thoughts were commendable but James didn't really believe that they would be able to capture a death eater and detain and even torture him without sending the Dark Lord's entire army after them and Blake. Personally, even though he wasn't happy about it, he figured the best thing would just be to let him go and cut their losses. If Lucius was telling the truth then he would be coming back for Blake anyways and they could make their move then and be on the safe side. They didn't need to put anyone else in danger at the moment.

"I know Blake cares for you. I knew that the first time I saw him look at you and I know it's only grown stronger since then. I also know he cares for me, as do I for him. I won't give him up without him explicitly telling me to go away and I don't think he'll do that. I don't want him to lose you. I think it would break him and he's already lost so much. He's the strongest person I have ever met. I don't know how he deals with what he does. It's almost unnatural. On top of that he's just so caring. You shouldn't be able to care that much after being hurt so many times. I know that if he loses someone else it would destroy him. He'd lose everything about himself and I can't watch that happen." James knew where Harry was coming from and knew why he was doing what he was doing but James still didn't like it. "He'll know. He'll know and you know he will. He won't think that you want space, he'll just blame himself and think you were only staying with him because that's what he wanted. You either need to end it now or you need to be in it until the end because he'll invest his entire soul into you. I can already feel him with me, I don't know what it is about him but I just feel connected to him." He sighed and looked at Harry "I don't really like it and I know you don't either but I think I'll be able to survive 'sharing' when it's in his best interests."

"Harry, you're a pure-blood" he quietly reminded the man. He knew that he meant it in a different way but it was still what he was "and if Blake is their son than he's a pure-blood, too, no matter how he was raised" he said it gently but it had a rough undercurrent. Mostly a warning that he needed to watch the way he spoke about Blake because whether they were friends or not, or 'sharing' Blake, James would stick up for Blake and fight Harry with every fiber of his being until he had proved his point or he was dead. James followed Harry into the room, shutting the door behind him and sitting down on the end of the bed when Blake sat up a bit to look at them. "What's going on?" he asked them, looking between the men who both had a fairly unhappy look on their faces. His immediate thought was that Harry had brought up his idea of a threesome to James and it hadn't gone over well, opening his mouth "I don't know what to do James, I love you and him and it was his idea and I just don't.........." "Blake, stop, that's not what we're here to talk about" he said gently, taking the boy into his arms to calm him down since he had started freaking himself out at the thought of losing both of them at the same time. "We already talked about that, and I'm okay with whatever I have to do to keep you" he said gently, Blake looking tremendously relieved and kissing Blake lovingly. "What's going on then?" he asked, looking up at Harry who had yet to speak.
 
Harry glanced at James, sighing a little as he closed his eyes. "i i care for him too. no matter how hard i tried i care." he admitted softly, listening intently to James. "see. this is why i like you James." Harry admitted simply, looking at the other. "your never afraid to tell me exactly what i need to hear." he admitted. "your right, it's selfish of me to leave Blake hanging if i intent on... leaving, him later... so i will give this relationship my one hundred percent..." Harry swallowed thickly. "even if my one hundred percent is kind of crappy..." he sighed a little. "he loves because he can hope." he admitted calmly. "he hopes, and so he has something to strive and live for. he hopes for a better life, so he can still connect to people. i used to be like him." Harry admitted, a small smile fluttering at his lips. "...he makes me hope again... hope for a better life, with him... and now, with you too. it's... unconventional but, we're unconventional people. so maybe that's what we need in life." he admitted before blinking at James.

"no, there's Pureblood and then there's Pure-Blood. people like Lucius? he's a bigoted 'i'm better than though' Snooty rich guy who thinks he can have whatever he wants just because he doesn't have anything less than blue blood. i'm pureblooded just because my parents where wizards." he shook his head. "Lucius is like those millionaires who screw up all the time and then use their families money to buy themselves out of it time and time again. they never have to work for a damn thing in their lives and those are the kinds of people i hate most. people like Lucius thinks he's better than me and you, simply because he's old money and drinks from crystal instead of tin. Blake will never be like that. oh he'll pretend if he really wants, or has to... but he will always remember people like us, people like him. and he will always be better than those snobs." he smiled at James. "but it is very good of you to stick up for him... i know i'm not the most... sensitive guy so i'm trusting you to give me a good smack if i start... hurting Blake in any way. even if you have to do it literally." Harry assured James. "you always where the only person in Adderstrike who could yell at me and get away with it." Harry admitted, shaking his head. "you and Zach." he and Zach had often gotten into screaming matches that could last hours.

Harry watched Blake freak out and settled his hand on the others knee, biting his lip as he considered the best way to handle the problem before handing the other the note. "this Lucius Malfoy is... blueblood. old money and very aristocratic. he claims that your his son but... i honestly have my doubts. Pure-Bloods like Lucius don't just have their children stolen." Harry admitted simply. "something else is happening here. something big, and something probobly very bad. Snape is in the process of brewing a potion that will tell us if your really the son of Lucius Malfoy..." he hesitated. "the thing is... if your really his son, then it means that you where either kidnapped or given away and... well... it might be hard, some of the things we uncover, it might be very hard for you... but i want you to know, that you will always be welcome here at Adderstrike no matter your... 'lineage'. and i don't want you to think that you have to go to Lucius just because he is, or is not your father... you have a family here, with me and James. you don't need Lucius to be happy, that i promise you." he muttered softly, carefully taking Blake's hand. "but if you do want to meet Lucius... once we're sure if he's really your father or not, i won't stop you... i'll want to follow you, if only to make sure your safe, but i won't stop you."
 
Blake was finally calmed by James holding him and Harry touching him lightly, knowing that was his equivalent of a hug and taking it. He leaned into James and read the letter, his eyes narrowing slightly as he read the words until he got down to the name. The name instantly sent him into a wave of flashbacks; sitting at home on the floor when he was little, though it was not at the house he was raised in. Everything was so nice and clean, expensive. A woman calling a man Lucius and calling him Draco, taking care of him and holding him. Then a woman, a woman so familiar, looking into his eyes as she pressed a wand against his head and then waking in the whore house and he hadn't remembered anything of his home before or those people. They must have also put spells on him to hide his magic and keep him hidden from his parents, effectively keeping him hidden from anyone who could have helped him.

Blake closed his eyes tightly and crumpled the paper in his grip "I know who he is" he said quietly, angrily. "He's my father." Blake didn't speak for a little while, his teeth clenched "you shouldn't have killed her. I would have done it myself" he said through his teeth. "Tell Snape he doesn't need to make it." Blake got up and moved away from the two of them. "Could you just go away, please? I just need a little time to think" he said, a little harshly but it was a lot to take in at one time. He went into the bathroom and ran a bath, sinking into the hot water, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. James looked worried about him as they left the room, looking at Harry. He refused to move away from his door, planning on waiting for him until he was ready and needed to be held and loved. He turned quickly when he heard the door open, doing a double take when he saw him "what the hell did you do to your hair?" he asked, looking at the almost platinum blonde color atop his head. "I did a spell. This is the actual color of my hair" he said softly, looking at him with that look which James knew instantly. He took the other into his arms and held him tightly as Blake just started crying "it's okay, everything is going to be okay."
 
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