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Stream of consciousness and perhaps even some insight...

I think as you accumulate experiences, positive and negative, it is easier to build up that defense. Negative experiences are typically amplified in recollection--not necessarily their intensity, but in that they draw attention more than our positive experiences.
 
Well, like they say, you never know until you try. But you seem to know your mother enough to at least have an accurate prediction of how it will likely go down. Plus, from what you've said, it doesn't sound like she's sympathetic at all to the issue, you know?
 
Honestly, I think you needed to get quite a few things out of your system. You porbably needed to snap, needed to cry and just seclude yourself while letting all the anxiety and the stress just explode outwards. I have a feeling that you bottle a lot of this up most of the time for the sake of those around you, so their feeling aren't hurt. But I really, really think you needed that. To just pour everything out. I think your husband was totally awesome in the way he handled things, and the fact that you slept for so long that peacefully just makes me more confident in my point.

You really needed to just get it out of your system, and I'll bet my bottom dollar you'll feel so much better for it :)
 
I'm glad he can be there for you when you need it.

That's how I feel with my s.o. sometimes, I really think It's too much to tell him but even after I'm yelling or frustrated to tears, he just tells me It's okay.

You are very special and very blessed, Da. You should know by now I look up to you.

Keep smiling, Alice.
 
Yup, remember lady we are all here for you. Please count your blessings, you have wonderful kids who understand when to 'go play' and you get to see their smiling faces now and forever. You have a loyal wonderful and caring husband who calms that side of you that is unmentioned. I envy you as well, DA you have wonderful family and friends plus friends on here. Please know that we care about you. Both sides, for good and bad we are always here. Cheering you on and fighting for you is what we are here for. I will battle whatever demons you are facing... I can do that cause mine are currently in the closet clawing at it and I am not strong enough to deal with mine. However, together you and I along with BlueMoon will be able to vanquish whatever will come our way.

Love you like a sister -Yoshie
 
I agree with Yoshie. We are here for you and we Will always be!

I know it's easier said than done but try and find the positives in a negative world. Your children sound just absolutely wonderful - you and your husband are the reasons for such awesome parenting! Go you guys! :D And your husband sounds so sweet and caring... That alone is a blessing to have!

Keep your head up, and I know it seems that when you go two steps forward it always seems you take, like, a million steps back, but you can only go so far back before there's nowhere else to go but forward!

I know I don't know you personally, and I wish I could understand what was wrong and help, but know my arms are extended and welcoming for you to come into! ^_^ You've made my life grand, and I want to try and do the same for you, angel!

Xoxox -Hugs and kisses on cheek-
 
Hugs DA

I know the feeling of constant stress. Keep hanging in there, sis. I hope your trip goes well. Take the opportunity to enjoy it, if possible. You definitely deserve a break, no doubts about that.

-LadyYunaFFX2​
 
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