Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief [Ahren and Resident Homestuck]

A

Ahren

Super-Earth
Joined
Nov 26, 2011
(If you're a follower of Homestuck and want to see the ways in which we fuck up the storyline, it will be branching off from here: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007206 - You have been warned. Closed for myself and Resident Homestuck.)

John: Finish Whining

You are still John Egbert, and you have just wrapped up throwing the Biggest Baby Tantrum in your life on your 15th birthday. At least the biggest since the last one in which your father refused to buy you Liv Tyler (also on your birthday). Birthdays seem to be a stressful time for you. Your paradox sister stands over you as you lay uselessly in your driveway staring up into the dark LOWAS sky.

"John..."

"I'm sorry, Jade... I didn't mean to imply being here with you isn't fun..." You sigh, finally taking a breath.

The dog-eared girl takes a seat beside you, crossing her legs and joining you in a gaze toward the sky. "It's okay. I miss Dave and Rose, too. Even Karkat!"

"Heh, Karkat... beep beep meow. Heh hehe..."

"Hehehe yeah! I bet he would be so angry if he heard you say that." Jade giggles. Her laugh and smile are infectious and it's not very long before you feel one spreading onto your own face as well. It doesn't last, however, because all you can think about is how it's still another year before you can see them again, and even once you all meet up who is to say there would be even time to hang out and have fun? You'd already be in the new session and fighting to win the game right away.

Jade notices how quickly the mood deflates once again and glances down sadly. "John, it's still your birthday so I have one more present to offer you. If you want to join the others on the meteor for the final year of the trip, I can send you there."

Your sapphire blue eyes widen in surprise. "I thought you said your teleportation powers weren't working this far away from the Green Sun!?"

"Well, they don't. For the most part. But I can gather just enough energy to send you and only you. If you wanna go..." She adds with a sad smile. Hearing the soft tone of her voice makes you realize even offering to do this is tough for her, but she's still doing it anyway... Good Sister, Best Friend...

"Jade... I chose to stay with you for a reason. I won't just leave you alone now! What a crappy friend that would make me, geez!"

"It's okay, John! Really! I'm not alone and you know that. Me and Davesprite may have broken up but we're still friends. And don't forget Nanna and Jaspersprite! Besides, even if I was alone I would be okay. I lived alone pretty much my whole life. One year wouldn't kill me." She gives a wide, warm smile with shimmering green eyes sparkling behind her circular eyeglass frames. "Besides, I'm sure they miss you too. Also wasn't there a troll girl there who seemed eager to hang out with you? You should meet her!!!"

At this point, Jade seems more excited about the prospect than you do, though the thought of meeting the girl in question makes it hard to hold back blush crawling onto your cheeks. It's been two years. You have to wonder if she even still cares about you. The whole idea just makes you nervous!

"I- I should?"

"Yes, John! You are a growing boy and you should meet some girls that are not related to you! Even if they are grey aliens with horns!!" She smirks, prodding your shoulder teasingly.

"Wow... all right then! Maybe you are right! ... Are you sure about this? I know I was just acting like a big stupid baby but I really don't mind staying! Honest!" You make an effort to reassure her.

"I'm sure!!! I had a great time with you over the past two years! But you should go see the others! It's the least I can do for my friend on his birthday!"

"Okay, Jade! I'll take you up on your offer!"

"Great!"

--


Be the Knight of Time.

In a similar time, traveling through the darkest spaces of the Furthest Ring, a lone meteor flies. Inside one of the many rooms amidst the twisted hallways of the facility. You are now a young, blonde-haired man in a pair of sweet shades, Dave Strider. You and Karkat Vantas discuss topics of great importance.

"And then the man booms a sweet dunkie in the bucket and does a little dance on the mat. And that is how Basketball works." You explain, laying back on a sofa with your arms resting behind your head.

"Strider, the cells in my thinkpan are going to commit ritual mass suicide if I have to listen to one more word of this gross and offensive bullshit! There is no way you are not fucking with me!" The grey-skinned creature growls back. His lack of amusement is expected, but you're okay with that.

"Nah dude. Why would I lie about that?"

"Exactly! It would serve no purpose except to be pointless and irritating! Both things you excel at! When it comes to being pointless and irritating you cannot hope to beat Dave Strider. He is simply the best there is!"

"Thanks, bro, I'm touched."

"Fuck you!"

"Point: Strider. Guess I win this round. Thanks for playing." You continue, still poker faced.

"I.. what... that... AGH! That makes no sense! There are no points! And if there were YOU certainly would not win any! You would win exactly zero points and be a forgettable loser douche forever! Why do I even talk to you?!" Karkat shouts as he slaps his palm to his face in frustration.

"Feel free to leave. I'm okay chilling here though."

"No! I found this room first! In fact, I'm going to use it to watch a movie! Look at this one! It's called "Employee of the Month!" Looks like an award winner to me!"

"Oh fuck no you are not watching that Dane Cook trash anywhere within my line of sight. The only award that thing has won is the award for containing the biggest poser in the history of everything. There has never been nor will there ever be another poser bigger. Shit even you have given me more entertainment than he has, which is slightly more than none at all." You groan as you finally sit up, glaring at Karkat behind your shades hard enough to where your intentions are known even while your eyes are hidden.

"Hah! Guess you'll just have to leave then! Point: Vantas. Also another point: Vantas for good measure. Adios, ass munch! I'll just be here, enjoying my room and my movie like the greatest fucking winner ever!" Karkat grins, taking out his husktop and getting ready to play the Dave-repelling movie.

"Fine, dude. Guess I'll just go hang out with Terezi. No problem at all."

Karkat froze in place, trying not to give away his reaction. He couldn't get angry about this anymore. If Terezi was happy hanging out with Dave then that is what mattered. "Fine! Later, Fuckface!"

Before you can leave, however, a distressed cry is heard from the back of the room, originating from, oddly enough, the ceiling. You turn in time to see John Egbert landing upon a pile of books Rose hoarded up earlier in the day with a booming thud.

"What the sweet holy fuck was that?!" Karkat exclaims looking up just as a portal with Jade on the other side disappears, but not before she gives a cute little wave.

"Uuugh" John mumbles as he tries to fight his way from the attacking literature.

"Sup, Egbert. Happy Birthday." You utter in greeting, clearly not at all phased by John's sudden appearance. Truthfully you are a bit surprised and even delighted, but no use letting anyone actually see that.

"Dave!! Oh, and you're Karkat, right!? The scowl kinda gives it away... Yesss this is awesome already! Hey guys!"

"Egbert, what the shit is this?! You're supposed to be on that stupid boat with Jade! Did you leave her there all by herself?!? UN-fucking-believable!!" Karkat continues to holler, but if anything this outburst was only bringing more joy to John.

"Karkat, it's really cute how you're concerned for her. She had a kiss to give to you but I am afraid the only way for you to get it is if I deliver it. So get ready!" John grins mischievously. Karkat gags in respone.

"Keep your grotesque face away from any part of my body, Egbert, unless you want me to abscond into an ablution trap full of acid!"

"Glad you still seem like the same ol' Karkat. And Dave, looking cool as ever! Anyway, in case it wasn't obvious, Jade offered to send me over here as one last birthday gift! I took her up on the offer. So it was her idea and she insisted so no need to get all grumpy at me for it!" John explains, though you notice his eyes darting around the room quite often.

"So guys uh... who else is around...?"
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Wake Up

Your name is Vriska Serket, you have just woken up, and you are bored out of your mind. It is times like these when you just can’t help thinking about what had happened.

(Years ago, but not many...)

You wake up to realize that you are lying facedown on the ground. Your right shoulder hurts like hell, and you have no idea how long you have been unconscious. You are not entirely sure exactly what happened between you and Terezi after she confronted you on the issue of Jack Noir. You turn onto your back and roll your eyes in irritation as the pain in your shoulder flares up again.

What’s this you’re lying in? It looks like a puddle of blue...oh. It’s your own cerulean blood. Now you remember what happened. Terezi had tried to kill you in an attempt to stop you from going after Jack Noir. You had done your best to twist away at the last moment, and she ended up only getting you in the shoulder. It worked all the same, you suppose, and now you’ve got a nice big gash in your right shoulder that seems to have started to close a little bit.

Welp, being alive is a plus. You guess.

You realize that you look like you’ve just crawled out of hell, so you decide to see if you can find something to clean up with. It wouldn’t do at all for you to walk around covered in blood.

(In the present...)

You brush your thick black hair out of your face, stand up and look around. Nobody seems to be anywhere near. You guess they are all inside doing something or other. Three years on a meteor is a long time, after all. From what you’ve seen, everyone seems to have paired off and gone their separate ways. It kind of bugs you, to be perfectly honest.

After changing into a fresh set of clothes, which, of course, are identical to all the other outfits you own, you set off down a hallway. You aren’t sure exactly where you’re going. On a meteor this big, it doesn’t really matter.

You poke around aimlessly, wandering the halls of the facility you live in. You come across a couple of the humans talking in one of the rooms. They glance at you but mostly ignore you.

You walk for a fairly long time before giving up. There are officially no other options open to you. You’ll just have to go to the unofficially established social center of the place. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Three years is a long time to be trapped on a meteor with nothing else to do besides talk to...you guess you would call them your friends. You aren’t sure if they still consider you a friend.

Be the Seer of Mind.

One room away from the hallway the Thief of Light is walking down this very moment, a young troll with angular red glasses is standing off to the side with a pensive look on her face. You are now Terezi Pyrope, the blind girl with a taste for colors, literally.

You, ironically, are thinking about the same moment Vriska is thinking of. You replay the scene in your mind, flipping the coin, Vriska turning to leave, you stabbing her from behind.

(Years ago, but not many...)

You wonder if what you did was the right thing. Too late now, you suppose. You were sure that Vriska is now dead.

Your assumption could not have be more completely incorrect. You take a whiff of your surroundings and freeze completely. It makes no sense to you - you are convinced that you must be wrong, but you know that being wrong is equally impossible as the scent you have just caught.

You must know for sure. You turn towards the door and walk right up to her.

“Terezi.” She greets you with a cold nod.

“Vriska.” Your face remains impassive. “You’re not dead.” You don’t regret being so easily blunt with her at all.

“No, I’m not dead,” she agrees easily. “No thanks to you. I don’t suppose you’re going to try and kill me again.”

You do not reply, instead shaking your head slowly and turning to walk away. You honestly don’t mind that Vriska is alive; you just find it surprising that you hadn’t killed her. As long as she doesn’t go after Noir. And you made sure that she would not be going after him anytime soon.

(In the present...)

You shake away your thoughts. What’s done is done. You may not still want Vriska dead, but since you tried to kill her, the two of you haven’t exactly been on good terms. Nothing like an open rivalry has ever emerged, but you still prefer to keep your distance from the other troll. Just because.

Be the Thief of Light.

You are Vriska once again. You arrive in the doorway of the large room where the buzz of conversation seems to be coming from. At a quick glance, you can see a few of your friends. You also see the human Dave Strider talking to Karkat in the corner.

Then, all of a sudden, Terezi is standing in front of you, seemingly materialized from thin air. You nod and greet her, and she does the same. Both of you obviously feel a little awkward, so you decide to bypass her and find someone else to talk to. You let her pass through the door and go off to do who knows what and enter the room.

As you walk into the room, Karkat turns to look at you from where he is talking to the human Dave Strider. You don’t bother to say hello to either of them. You know that Karkat thinks that you’re completely insane and Strider probably shares the same opinion. Not that you aren’t, you’ll give him that. You just wish Karkat would give you a little more credit than that.

You give up. Maybe you would rather just wander the place aimlessly for the next year of the journey. Yes, that sounds much more interesting. You turn and leave the room, heading off to what you can only hope are bigger and better things.

Halfway down the hallway, you hear a yell and then a loud thud that sounded like the thud of a body hitting the floor somewhere behind you. You turn in surprise, but nobody is there. You shrug and make to resume walking.

You suddenly hear a new voice coming from the room you just left. But of course it’s impossible. You are on a meteor that is hurtling through space. There is no way anyone could have joined you. It must be just one of your friends.

Then you hear Karkat’s voice, loud as always, say “Egbert.” The name vaguely echoes in your head, like something from a half remembered dream. Maybe...no, that can’t be it.

Still, something prompts you to turn and start walking back toward the doorway you had just left. You can hear snippets of a conversation between Karkat, Strider, and the new voice through the open door as you approach it.

You stand beside the doorway listening, this being one of the rare times that you aren’t certain what you are going to do.

This is stupid.

You decide that standing there like an idiot waiting is stupid and walk into the room.

You stop dead in your tracks.

There, standing in a messy pile of books, is a boy with bright blue eyes, black hair, and glasses.

What.

You stop and stare. There is no way your eyes can be working right. As far as you are aware, John Egbert hasn’t been on this meteor. Ever. You have never seen the faintest trace of him here. Zip. Zero. Nada. This explains absolutely nothing about why the hell he is now standing fifteen feet away from you.

You slowly walk into the room until you are standing only a few feet away from the boy you know is John. You don’t know how you know for sure that it’s him, you just know.

Shoving your hands in your pockets, you look at him with an expressionless face. You aren’t sure what to make of this. So you guess you'll just start with the obvious.

“Hello, John.”
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Be Karkat

You cannot be Karkat at this time. He is too confused and angry.

Be John

You are once again John Egbert, and before your friends have a chance to answer your question, footsteps alert you to the presence of another. A feminine voice speaks your name, and your eyes fixate upon the Troll girl that now graces your vision. Despite the fact that you had never actually seen or heard her before, something in the back of your mind puts the pieces together.

"Vriska...?" You finally manage to utter. You're staring, but you don't quite realize it. She's more beautiful than you had imagined, though frankly your imagination had taken a joke you had made about the Trolls looking like Howie Mandel from Little Monsters and ran with it. In which case the bar had been set pretty low for being more attractive than your imagination, however those things aside, she was gorgeous even by human standards and likely Troll standards, too. Long, wild black hair. A pleasant shade of grey skin. And the way her two fangs peeked out on the sides of her blue lips was bewitching, to say the least.

Karkat turns to see what you're looking at and immediately his eyes widen as if a horrible realization just struck him. "OHhh No! No no no NO! I've already had to deal with Rose and Kanaya, and Terezi and Strider all shooting disgusting little looks at each other all the time, I am NOT going through it again with you two! I am putting my foot down! If I put my foot down any harder it will crack this fucking meteor in half! This is exactly what I was afraid of!"

"Jesus christ, dude... Your capability for blowing shit out of proportion is bordering on legendary." Dave comments and you can practically see his eyes rolling even behind the shades.

You take this time to dust yourself off and approach Vriska, your gaze having never really left her. She's about your height and you can't help but be entranced by her left eye. Six pupils arranged in a circular pattern around a seventh. Her text smileys with eight eyes had apparently been more than just a cute little quirk. You definitely don't seem to notice the rather dorky smile that has found its way to your face.

"John! If you value your existence at all (and I'm not even sure you do given how many times you've gotten yourself killed already) you'll stay away from her! She's a murderous psychopath!" Karkat clamors on.

You finally glance over to him and raise an eyebrow. "You mean she's... a Troll?"

"This is different!" He continues. "She killed people she considered friends! For immensely shitty reasons!"

"Dude, isn't your best friend the crazy juggalo who went on a murder spree for literally no reason?" Dave chimes in.

"Shut your bloated fucking throathole and stay out of this, Strider!"

You turn your attention back to Vriska. Indulging in the argument seemed silly. Your eyes continued to scan her, taking note of her asymmetrical horns. One with a crooked point and another forked. You kinda want to reach out and touch them but it probably would be pretty rude to do the first time meeting someone face to face...

"Karkat, Vriska is my friend. I'll talk to her if I want and that's all there really is to say on the matter."

You scratch the back of your head nervously, now realizing you don't quite know what to say to her. "Hey, Vriska. It's great to finally meet you. You look really good! Glad you recognized me. I guess I grew a bit over the past couple years?"

"Egbert Translator: He wants to smooch you." Dave chimes in causing you to flush immediately.

"Dave!"

"What, bro? You looked like you were ready to commence the timeless courtship ritual of standing outside her window while holding a boombox over your head."

Your eyes roll hard at the reference, but Karkat seems unconvinced.

"Please. Egbert is nowhere near as suave as Cusack. He is, at best, a nerdier version of Freddie Prinze Jr." Karkat responds causing Dave to just stare in his direction in disbelief.

"Holy shit, dude. I was making a joke but you seriously brought out this shitty romance movie analysis that you're proud of for some reason. Please leave." Dave orders. You're about ready to scream.

"Oh my god! Leaving actually sounds great! Is there somewhere else we can talk? This is getting pretty silly!" You ask Vriska, hoping to end the madness at least for the time being.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Be Vriska

What the hell are you talking about. You are already Vriska.

Vriska: Meet John for the first time

You can’t resist the urge to grin a little at his guess. At first you had wondered if he would be able to figure out who you are, but you realize that you should have known he would piece it together.

It’s kind of nice to see a smile on someone’s face directed at you for once, but you’re not sure if John is actually aware that he’s smiling. You wait for several seconds with a half amused half expectant look on your face, watching him stare at you.

On the other hand, you can’t help taking your own look at him. You guess you have always pictured him as a dorky little kid with big glasses. You aren’t sure if you’re just a little maybe possibly the slightest tiniest bit biased, which of course you aren’t, but you find him charming, in his own way.

...Fine, you think he’s handsome. Shut up, it’s not your fault, you can’t help it.

You thoughts are rather rudely interrupted by Karkat’s outburst. You breathe in slowly in clear frustration, paying absolutely no attention to whatever the hell he’s yelling at you and John. If this guy doesn’t shut up within the next three seconds exactly, you swear you are going to rip his nubby little horns right off his head.

You are momentarily distracted from Karkat’s outrage by John, who in the meantime has moved so that he is now standing right in front of you. The two of you haven’t broken eye contact since you got into the room. You had wondered if he might be put off by your vision eightfold, but he doesn’t seem to be freaked out by it. Which makes you wonder exactly how many crazy things he’s seen.

Karkat’s continued ranting is starting to really tick you off now. You don’t know how much John knows about your past, but that’s just the point. It’s the past. You don’t need him knowing every single thing you’ve done.

You turn your head to look at Karkat at the same time as John does, fixing him with a hard glare. Right now you are just about fed up with the shouting asshole.

But at least John doesn’t seem to be fazed by Karkat’s rant. You suppose it’s because of the countless hours the two have doubtless spent talking on Trollian. That doesn’t change the fact that you are considering adding Karkat to the list of people you’ve killed. It’s a damn good thing you’re better at controlling anger than Karkat, you think grimly.

You notice that John is looking at you again, so you turn back to look at him and let your hands unclench from where they had been balled into tight fists in your pockets.

You resist the urge to smirk at Karkat. You know he hates it when his incessant shouting doesn’t work. But your satisfaction is more about what John says than how Karkat reacts. You’re happy that he considers you a friend, at least.

A slight smile curves the corners of your lips a little, revealing a little more of your fangs as you realize that John is babbling a little. You guess you don’t blame him; after all, the two of you have been talking for quite a while without actually meeting in person.

John’s embarrassment at Strider’s sudden interruption is obvious, and therefore amusing. You find the way the humans’ blood goes to their face when they’re embarrassed rather funny.

You are starting to feel a little awkward though. Karkat and Strider are clearly locked in some sort of terrible movie battle, and John, for once, doesn’t seem as amused as he normally would be.

You return your attention to John. Finally, a way out. You were hoping for an excuse to get away from the place. You already feel awkward enough meeting John for the first time without those two putting in their snide comments every other sentence.

“Yeah, we can talk somewhere else. Like, anywhere but here. Come on.” You turn on your heel and head back out the door and down the hallway. You don’t need to look back to see if John is following you - you know he will be.

To be honest, you have no clue where the two of you could catch up without being interrupted. So you decide that one of the many spare rooms with nothing in it would work well enough.

You pick a door at random and try the handle. It’s unlocked. Cool.

Entering the room, you head to the wall on the right and lean comfortably on it with your arms crossed, watching John with that slight smile still on your face. You have no idea why you’re smiling. It feels stupid and right at the same time. Weird.

“I guess we have a lot of catching up to do,” you say after a few seconds of awkward silence. “It’s been what, two years?”
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Follow the Spidertroll

Your grin widens a bit as Vriska seems to share your interest with separating from the Karkat and Dave squabble. Meeting them was great and you're sure you'll all have plenty of fun together later, but for now some distance from Karkat's frothing rage and Dave's incessant need to make everyone uncomfortable is probably the best thing for you if you have any intention of talking with Vriska without interruption. So you follow her along the halls of the cold, eerie interior of the meteor's facilities.

Eventually she opens up a room, seemingly at random, and you enter along with her. There are soft red curtains lining the walls along with some desks and sofas. It looks like some old person's study or reading room. There are more dusty books on shelves, all which seem to have to do with cloning science or ectobiology. You now seem to remember that this is probably the lab Karkat used to create the paradox clones during his session. After poking around for a few moments you turn back to the Troll girl leaning against the wall. You notice her watching you with a bit of a smile and it causes you to blush again and glance away shyly. You mentally smack yourself. Why do you feel so embarrassed? This girl had the ability to see your entire life through crazy alien time technology and she saw your entire quest until Rose's blackout. You should be used to her staring at you...

But this was different. Now you could look back at her and there was no doubting that just how pretty she was caught you off-guard. Finally she speaks in that alluring voice of hers, indicating that there was a lot to catch up on. You wonder how true that is in your case.

"Heh, yeah, two years. I'm not sure what there is to say about it, though... I had a lot of fun with Jade and Davesprite. We played games, watched movies, explored the planets from our session with our crazy super powers. It was pretty awesome!" You begin with a dopey smile. You probably don't know just how much like a kid you sound but hey you still are a kid so that's kind of the point. "But after a while I guess I started to lose it. As much as we had to do, in theory, all my frustrations kind of erupted all at once while we were watching Con Air. I realized it was terrible and I guess I felt like an idiot for liking it so much before. Then it was just one thing after another..."

You pace along the room a bit, crossing your arms over your god tier outfit. "I'll be honest, Vriska... One of those things was being worried about you. The last time we talked you were basically explaining how you were going to go fight Jack. Like you felt it was the right thing to do. At the time I didn't really discourage you. I think I felt like the only reason I didn't want you to do it is because I didn't want you to die and given the severity of our situation maybe that seemed selfish...? Like if you had a chance to beat him you should take it... Next thing I know Karkat is talking to me on your account and he seems hesitant to give any details about what happened over here. I tried not to think too much of it. I even tried to pretend that I forgot most of the stuff we talked about. I thought that if you knew I was worried about you you might be offended. That you might think I didn't have any faith in you. I did but... I was worried anyway... Consider it a stupid human emotion, I guess, heh." You try to laugh but your explanations just remind you how much of a knot the whole thing had put in your stomach at the time.

But you turn back to Vriska and that warm, cheerful smile returns. She's right there in front of you. You could stop worrying finally. At least about her. Instead you now had to worry about not looking like a complete doofus right in front of her. "Don't pay any attention to what Karkat was saying. We already talked about everything you did and he knows it. I admit it scared me at first, knowing.. what you've done, and it seemed like people didn't want me interacting with you, but... I still felt a connection to you. I felt like they weren't giving you enough credit. I doubt I would have gotten as far as I had if it hadn't been for you! Heh, maybe I'm crazy but I don't really care! I still want to be your friend. Hopefully you're still cool with that too..."

You scratch the back of your head in another nervous moment which seems to be a recurring thing for you now. You take a seat on one of the sofas and continue gazing in Vriska's direction. "Wow I kind of went on for a while there, sorry! I don't think I've talked that much at once in years! How have things been here? Seems like Karkat and Dave still aren't getting along very well, heh. What ended up happening two years ago? Did you decide against fighting Jack...?"
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Catch up with John

You resist the urge to widen your grin at John’s sudden embarrassment. It’s not necessarily that you find his embarrassment funny - it’s more that you find it funny that the two of you can’t seem to piece together a coherent conversation after waiting years to meet. Irony at its finest.

You wish you could think of something to say though. Clearly you won’t be able to catch up on two years of missed life if you can’t even talk to John without one of you trailing off awkwardly.

From what you hear, John has been living a fairly normal life for a human kid, at least minus the magic. You have no idea what Con Air is, but you assume it’s probably one of those horrible movies that he loves so much...or at least, he used to love so much.

When he turns to look at you again you can see something in his eyes, something not unlike surprise. It’s only there for a moment, but you’re sure you see it.

You realize how strange it feels not to be know what John is thinking. Usually your friends’ thoughts are significantly more transparent. But you find him to be difficult to read, despite his expressive face. You are not sure why, but you like the uncertainty.

You are a little surprised when John mentions being worried about you. Worrying in itself is not a...you guess you could call it an emotion...worrying is not an emotion familiar to you, or trolls in general, you think. It’s even stranger to consider the fact that someone could be worried about you in particular. You have always thought of yourself as a person who never warranted...worrying. Though maybe Noir could be an exception.

From what you can see, it looks like John is trying and failing to find some kind of humor in his explanation. But then your eyes meet again and the solemnity disappears. You absentmindedly wonder if this is what the red quadrants are supposed to feel like. You haven’t had a red relationship in a long time since nobody on this meteor really seems to want to talk to you, so you’ve somewhat forgotten. The only problem with it is that you have absolutely no idea how to react to it.

So when he says that he wants to be your friend, you just kind of look at him in mild surprise. An offer of friendship is the last thing you’d expect to get on this meteor. You realize, much to your surprise, that you would actually be happy to be friends with John.

You suddenly realize that John is staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to answer his question about Jack Noir. Claiming a seat on the couch opposite from him, you half sit on one of the end cushions, half lean on the arm of the couch, facing him on your side.

“I guess I did decide to not fight him. Kind of. I mean, I never did go after him and fight him.”

You stop for a moment. You hate thinking about what stopped you from going after Noir, but you know that John needs to know. Especially after worrying about you like he did. And he makes you feel...maybe accepted would be the right word. You don’t have to hide your mistakes from him like you originally thought you would.

“Terezi stopped me from going after him,” you say a little grudgingly. There. You told him the truth without going into too much detail. Without realizing it, your hand strays to your shoulder to brush the scar left by the stab wound Terezi gave you. Even after all this time, there is still a mark where the blade had entered your shoulder. It hasn’t bothered you for nearly two years, but it stays there, reminding you of what happened every time you see it, reminding you of the fight you could have won.

“But anyway, after that, life just kind of got boring. Most of what you missed was just up to cutting the plan to fight Noir. After that it’s just two years of not a thing to do whatsoever. Karkat was right about Terezi and Strider. And about Rose and Kanaya. Honestly, it does get annoying to watch - I get where he’s coming from. But otherwise, I don’t really talk to anybody here much, I guess.”

Even as you say it, you realize it’s true. It feels good to open up to John, even if just to talk to someone. You haven’t had a real conversation in nearly two years. Being able to tell him all of this makes it easier to get your own thoughts in line too.

You don’t know exactly what you’re hoping to take away from this. You are a little wary of making friends, partially because of your experience for the last two years. But this feels different, more like a real friendship.

“It’s...it’s nice to finally meet you in person, John.” You offer what you hope is a friendly smile. You aren’t sure exactly how friendly you can look with your fangs poking out between your lips and your freaky left eye, but you hope the amicable intentions got across to him.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Mourn the loss of the Shipping Diagram

You silently but intently listen to Vriska's side of the story. Her reluctance to go into to detail about how Terezi stopped her from fighting Jack made it seem like a sensitive subject and you figured it was best not to press it further. You also wouldn't admit your relief that someone stopped her. This was your first conversation in two years so it made sense that it might take some adjustment to truly get back to the level of comfort you both once had with each other. One of the more interesting tidbits of information was the reveal that Karkat's offhand comment about Dave, Terezi, Rose and Kanaya hadn't been just a bunch of hot air.

"Wow, so Karkat was right about the sloppy Troll/Human makeouts? He truly is a genius concerning all things romance!" You joke. "Then again this completely annihilates his shitty shipping diagram he made for us humans. Guess I won't be marrying Rose after all! Rest in peace, terrible romance suggestions from an alien."

You realize that your humor might have been ill-timed, however. The loneliness in Vriska's voice was becoming more apparent as she explained how she didn't really talk to anyone. Suddenly your earlier tantrum with Jade seems even more childish. Spending the two years almost entirely alone would have been maddening. You feel sorry for her. You don't say it out loud as she would likely not appreciate the pity.

Then she gives you a smile while saying it was nice to meet you finally. That brief flash of happiness from her makes the whole decision to come over here well worth it to you. "Yeah! It is nice... I gotta say I was always kinda jealous before when you could see me but I couldn't see you. I was really curious about what you looked like! Now that we're face to face I feel like I should be totally serious and honest with you. Seriously honest. Seriously."

You put on your best serious face as you look into her eyes, but it doesn't last for very long. You adjust your glasses in a futile effort to make yourself appear cooler than you are at the moment as you smile at Vriska, the blush finding its way back to your cheeks once again. "You're actually really pretty... Uh, hopefully you don't mind my saying so."

You take a deep breath. It was a relief to be able to finally say that out loud after thinking it since literally the moment you saw her. Well, you had toned your actual thoughts down a bit, at least. You hoped it didn't make things awkward but friends giving each other compliments couldn't have been that weird, right? You can't help but wonder what she thinks about you... You had seen a bit of a growth spurt over the past couple years. Did it work in your favor? The only opinions you could get were Jade's, Davesprite's and Nannasprite's. One was your sister, one was the orange bird version of your friend who never made a sincere statement in his life and the last was the spirit of your deceased grandmother resurrected inside a game construct. In short, three people who you didn't really want calling you handsome since even if they did who knew if they were just doing it to be nice or not.

You glance down at your outfit. The God Tier clothes were cool and all but for some reason it seemed inappropriate for the situation now. "Man, I probably should have thought ahead a bit and packed a bag before heading over here, heheh. Maybe I'll alchemize some new clothes in a bit... but hey that can wait! Is there anything you wanna do? Not quite sure what there is around here but I recall Karkat talking about how he was watching a bunch of Earth movies back when he was still trolling me. Maybe he actually has some good ones saved up. Or we can just talk more. Or hey whatever you want! Anything at all! Your choice!" The prospect of finally hanging out with Vriska was getting you pretty excited. You hope it gets her excited too. Clearly being on the meteor for so long with people she didn't really mesh with had put her into a bit of a funk. You now consider it your goal in life to make her happy again.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Embarrass yourself

As you finish your story, you realize that it actually does sound like a depressing life. For the first few weeks on the meteor it had been nice not having to talk to anyone and having no one bother you when you wanted to be left alone. But after a few months you had found yourself wandering the halls more frequently, looking for nothing in particular to do. And you aren’t lying - watching Terezi and Kanaya walking around happily with Strider and Rose was frustrating. It did get awfully lonely, you admit to yourself, but of course you would never tell anyone.

But one thing you hate more than anything else is sympathy. Which is why you are grateful to John for not saying anything even though he must be processing half a million thoughts in that head of his.

You can't help being a little amused at his attempt at being "serious." It's kind of cute how he seems to get flustered whenever he tries to talk to you. You just wish he knew he didn't have to try so hard. Like he just said, you've been able to see him for a long time. You've never cared if he didn't look cool.

Well, maybe a long time ago you did. But you know you don't care now, at least.

You feel a small smile creep across your face, and your eyes drop a little at the compliment. It had caught you off guard - you hadn't expected something like that coming from him. You half hope John doesn't see the embarrassing smile, but you also remind yourself that you don't necessarily need to hide what you're feeling around him. You've been doing it your whole life; it's a little hard to break the habit.

You look back at him, a trace of the smile still lingering on your face. When he was standing, you remember him being about your height, probably an inch or two taller than you, not counting your horns.

As you look at him curiously, you notice that over the last two years, he hasn't only grown taller, but he's also lost his boyish look. He still looks like a kid, but now he looks a little older. You think it looks good on him. Even the glasses look good on him. It’s kind of surprising, given the fact that when you first started to troll him, you just thought he looked dorky. You guess things have changed. A lot.

You realize that you've been looking at him thoughtfully for several seconds now, almost staring. Quickly, you shift so that you're sitting in more of an upright position, cross-legged on the couch with your arms resting on your knees. You know you should tell him how you feel, but you have no idea how without making yourself sound ridiculous. You guess you can just wing it and see what comes out.

"You're more handsome than I thought you...I mean, not that I didn't think...I didn't mean...." You trail off awkwardly. This isn't going as well as you'd thought. You had meant to try to say you thought he was handsome without sounding cheesy or awkward. There goes that plan.

Mentally kicking yourself for your awkward attempt at a compliment, you think for a moment about what you could do with John. After two years wandering the meteor mostly alone, there isn't that much to do on it that interests you or that has ever interested you.

"There isn't that much here to do," you admit with a shrug, pushing yourself off of the couch to pace slowly across the room. “Karkat probably does have some movies somewhere...but besides that and talking, the things we can do on this gigantic lump of rock amount to talking to the others and just kind of...walking.”

You are rather frustrated that you can’t offer any good ideas on what to do. Being able to just hang out with John is by far the best idea you’ve heard in a long time, and you are actually kind of eager to spend time with him, but when there’s next to nothing to do, hanging out seems difficult.

“We could just walk until we find something else to do, I guess...” The idea had never worked too well when you were alone, but you think maybe when John is around the two of you can come up with something better to do than sit in a room and talk awkwardly. At the very least it would be nice to just walk....

“Or we could try and find some of the others that don’t know you’re here yet.” You aren’t thrilled with the idea of talking to your friends, but if John wants to catch up with them, then you’re cool with it. You half want John to say that he would rather wander aimlessly with you, but you also know that John must be missing his other friends and want to catch up with them, so you can't help wanting him to ask to see them also. You kind of trail off and stop pacing, staring at the wall in front of you pensively, wondering what he'll want to do.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Explore with Vriska

You notice Vriska watching you with those fascinating eyes and you can only wonder what she's thinking. You'd trade all the windy powers in the world for just a bit more insight into her mind. Were you just making a fool of yourself or were your words really lifting her spirits? When she gives that enchanting smile at your compliment that alone relieves your worries.

She then shifts her seat on the sofa and and manages to disclose her opinion of you in an adorably awkward way. You were so used to her being super confident in everything she said. It was nice knowing that some things could even make her nervous. You wouldn't say it out loud but Trolls and Humans didn't really seem all that different. You and her didn't seem all that different...

Still, a girl that stunning calling you handsome? If that had been the only present you got for your birthday this year you would have been more than satisfied. A warm, joyous feeling envelops your body and it causes your heart to race quicker. You give a dorky little chuckle in response and feel your face flush once again. Hopefully that would be enough to tell her that her words were appreciated without you having to fumble out more dumb and embarrassed things.

When she rises from her seat and explains how there wasn't much to do around the meteor you empathized completely. You were getting pretty bored on the ship and there you at least had whole entire planets to explore. What could there possibly been to keep a person entertained in that dark, ominous meteor whose only purpose was to house mad science? Vriska's suggestion of exploration seemed like the most logical thing at this point. You had to admit you were pretty curious about what other strange rooms lurked in the depths of the laboratory. She also offered to find the others, but you could sense the lack of enthusiasm in her voice with that secondary option. The way she even specified 'your' friends sort of cemented the idea that none of them really wanted to hang out with her. The way she gazed at the wall, almost like she was afraid of your response, made it clear there was only one option here.

You briskly leap from your seat and take Vriska's hand, leading her out of the room with a grin on your face. "C'mon! Exploration awaits!"

You both abscond back into the hallway and proceed through the dim corridor. It takes you a moment to realize you're still grasping Vriska's hand and now you're focused on the feel of her skin against yours, so pleasantly soft and warm. You reluctantly let go out of fear that it might be uncomfortable for her to have her hand commandeered by you unexpectedly. "Anyway..." You speak up trying to draw attention away from that. "There will be plenty of time for me to catch up with the others. I'm sure they'll be fine without me for a bit longer! Yes, being without me, their glorious leader, might have been tough at first, but by now they have learned to get by on their own. They grow up so fast. I am so proud of them!" You chuckle at the absurdity of your joke. You never really considered yourself their leader and you still don't. How did anyone ever get that impression anyway? You were just their friend! Big difference!

You poke around in the hallways for a bit, occasionally coming across strange rooms with large computers and other vague electronic equipment that no one could ever possibly be expected to use. One room you happen upon appears to be some sort of medical bay, but the instruments hanging around sort of give you the chills. Without much thought you grab a surgical mask and place it over your face before wielding a few rather dangerous looking bonesaws.

"All right sir, there's nothing to be concerned about I have done this operation at least twice. Once even successfully!" You begin to talk to the non-existent patient on the bed.

"Doctor are you sure about this? I just came in because I cut my thumb while slicing vegetables!" You respond to yourself in a higher-pitched voice.

"Don't worry sir, I am a professional. I studiously Googled every procedure I am about to perform. Literally nothing can go wrong ever"

"Well if you say so doct- AHHH WHY ARE YOU CUTTING OFF MY LEG."

"Whoop silly me I had the wrong chart up."

You suddenly glance back over to Vriska and chuckle nervously, gently placing the sharp tools back down and discarding the mask. "Uh yeah... This is stupid, I know."

Eventually you come across what appears to be a chest of potentially treasure variety. Curiously, you pop it open. Inside appears to be a white dress of some sort. "Weird place to keep something like this..." You comment before inspecting closer. To your surprise you notice the dress has Vriska's sign on it, and all of the sudden you get that terrible feeling like you are handling someone's undergarments without their permission and oh god it's even worse when they're standing right next to you. "Agh! Sorry, I found your stuff and I am all touching it like some sort of horrible creepy guy who touches things creepily." You blurt out, quickly closing it back into the chest and moving on through the room. However you do take a moment to look back to Vriska with a slight smile. "I bet that looks nice on you, though..."

The next room you enter catches you off-guard. It looks like some sort of master bedroom for a mansion. Red carpet patterned with gold, fancy chandelier, some exotic looking plants, a few of those weird computers, flat screen TV, a nice large bed, and even a piano! "Oh yeah, calling this room for sure!" You declare as you run over to the piano and take a seat. You tap a few keys idly and confirm that it is indeed in tune. The first thing that comes to your head to play is the same melody you played on your birthday two years ago just hours before you entered the game. Such memories began to stir certain thoughts inside your head.

"Vriska..." You speak up while still continuing to play, your smile is gone for the moment and you're still intently staring at the keys as if you're contemplating something important. "Do you miss your life before the game...? If you could go back to before you played it... would you...?"

You're not sure what sort of answer she'll give, because you're not sure what answer you'd give either. Perhaps hearing her reasoning would help your own thought process.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Watch John be weird

You see John’s face turn red yet again at your words, and you wonder if it’s happening because of what you just said to him. It’s kind of endearing, actually. And surprising that what you had said actually managed to take on a positive connotation. You had thought that you had just messed up big time. Of course, normally you don’t try to say things like that, so you don’t have the snarkiness that you normally display when talking.

You spend a moment wondering what his decision will be. You wouldn’t mind going to visit the others - it’s not like you don’t see them every day anyway - but still, you avoid them when you can.

You suddenly feel some kind of warm happiness when John suddenly grabs your hand and pulls you outside the room, and your fingers feel almost tingly where your grey skin meets his pink skin. It’s like his natural happiness is catching. Even the grin plastered onto his face seems to be contagious, as you can’t stop yourself from smiling as you follow him out of the room.

There is a small level of awkwardness to the fact that your hand is still attached to John’s, and it escalates rather abruptly when he lets go. You kind of wish he hadn’t, but this is already awkward enough without holding hands. But the attempt at conversation quickly dissipates the awkwardness. Although you wouldn’t admit, you’re relieved that he would delay reuniting with his friends in favor of spending time with you. You understand the logic behind his reasoning though. You never really did pay attention to your team leader, you remember. Probably because you killed your team leader. You have to admit though, being friends with your teammates might have helped, though at the time you assumed that they would drag you down. You aren’t sure. But then, you aren’t sure of that many things any more.

You follow John through the hallways, watching him explore the same routes you used to explore back when you first got to the meteor. It’s kind of interesting, watching someone else do the discovering instead of you.

You don’t quite know how to react to the sudden enthusiasm over the room you enter that’s full of medical tools. You assume it’s probably got something to do with one of the crappy movies he loves. Surprisingly though, you don’t find it annoying or stupid like you might have two years ago. You see it as more of a lovable weakness for being weird. You hope John can tell that you don’t mind it.

Still, leaving the huge bonesaws behind is a plus. Your face changes a little when you catch sight of the chest off to the side, adopting a more nostalgic look. You haven’t seen that in quite a while after storing it away ages ago. Back when you and your friends were still friends. John’s reaction to finding the dress brings a bit of a smile back to your face though. It’s just an old dress to you now - a memory of a life that you no longer have.

“It’s okay, really. It’s just an old dress,” you say. “I haven’t worn it in a long time...” You have no doubt that it still fits. You just never have the urge to put it on again.

You follow John into the next room and lean on the piano as he starts playing, resting your chin on your arms. The tune that comes out of the piano is quiet, but you guess it’s a pretty song.

The sudden question makes you pause for a moment. You actually have never thought about the possibility of returning to life before the game. But now that the question is posed to you, you find it difficult to come up with a definite answer.

“I guess I kind of do miss the life I had before all of this crazy shit started...” you begin thoughtfully, half listening to the piano and half contemplating the question. “I mean, it wasn’t like I had a bad life. My lusus was a pain in the ass to feed...but I was well off, I suppose.”

You think back to the two years you spent mostly alone on the meteor. The others kind of tried to include you at first, but that faded quickly. After that, it was two years of almost complete solitude. It got dull at first, then boring, then just plain hell.

“If someone had asked me a year ago if I would go back to before I played the game, I probably would have said yes without a second thought. It’s probably just because I’ve been here for two years and being stuck on just one old meteor gets boring. But...I don’t know now.” You pause for a moment, collecting your thoughts and trying to figure out how to express them in a coherent manner. “But still...I don’t think I would take that option if I had it. At least, not now.”

You realize that you might even be glad you played the game in the first place. If you hadn’t, then you’d still be on Alternia living out the same life that you had always lived before Sgrub. You wouldn’t voice your thoughts in a million sweeps, but you know that if you hadn’t played the game, you wouldn’t have met the humans. More specifically, you wouldn’t have met John. That is probably the most embarrassing thing you have ever admitted to yourself. But it’s still true.

“It probably sounds insane, not wanting to go back to my old life where everything was routine and normal...” you add as an afterthought. “What about you? Do you ever miss your old human life?”
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Reminisce

The piano tune continues to fill the room, but softly enough to where you can still hear Vriska. You absorb every word she says, partly out of genuine interest in her answer and partly because you just like hearing her voice. You understand her initial response. Being on the meteor was probably mind numbing in her case. It's a bit disappointing that there was a moment where she would have wanted to go back, but you're not nearly selfish enough to think that meeting you alone could warrant someone wanting to survive this entire ordeal. Still, when she admits that her mind had changed, you smile. Mostly to yourself as you look back down at the piano keys. You decide not to ask what changed her mind. It was nice thinking that maybe you had at least something to do with it, though.

She presents the same question to you and you remain silent until your song ends, after which you just sort of stare forward in thought. Eventually you tap on the keys a few more times idly and turn your sapphire blue eyes back to Vriska.

"Sometimes I think I do, but I think I probably just miss things about it. Mostly my dad..." You sigh softly, glancing away momentarily. It's not long until you're back looking into Vriska's captivating gaze. "It's kind of like you said. It's not like my life was bad or anything. It was pretty good, actually. I didn't even have to feed a Lusus! Well... I did have this hamster once but I feel like even beginning to compare those two things is probably so terribly inaccurate to the point of being offensive!"

You chuckle lightly as you stand up from the piano, wandering over to inspect one of the attractive looking plants resting upon a short bookshelf. "But the experiences I had in one day? And what's still ahead? People would kill to experience that sort of thing..."

You quickly realize how odd that must sound given Alterna's violent culture. "Uh, which would be pretty serious for us humans..."

You approach Vriska again, a charming smile having returned to your face. "What I'm trying to say is... I actually feel lucky to be a part of all of this. I'm not happy we've lost people along the way, but I don't think they'd want us to dwell on that forever. I think they'd be proud of us... I got to explore other worlds. I got to fight crazy monsters. I got to basically be a super hero. I made some great new friends.... I got to meet you."

Your hand reaches out and gently grasps Vriska's as it still rested upon the top of the piano, again triggering the satisfying feeling of your skin connecting with hers. You blush moderately, but not profusely or awkwardly and you don't shyly turn away. Instead, you just keep smiling. Speaking of those immense accomplishments made you realize that - come on, man! - you can handle talking to a girl you like without making it awkward. "So yeah, I wouldn't trade it for anything... I may have been getting bored on that ship and maybe the meteor isn't a much better setting, but with you here I'm actually looking forward to the rest of the journey!"

You suddenly hear a low growling noise and you're not surprised to find out it's your stomach. "Oh man, I haven't really eaten much lately. Jade had a bunch of cake ready for my birthday but my dad used to make so much cake that I think I'm allergic to it now or something. Really it was an obscene amount of cake. Probably an illegal amount.... Anyway, what do you say? Want to get something to eat? It doesn't have to be like a date or anything..." You finish with a playful smirk. Not that you'd mind if it was, though...
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Go on a human “d8?"

You notice a smile appear on John’s face, presumably as a reaction to your statement that you would rather stay than return to your old life. You would have told him that he was the reason you changed your mind, but you can’t figure out how to say it without it sounding completely and utterly sappy. You wish you could though. You find the sound of the piano echoing in the room to be rather relaxing, and you watch in silence as his fingers move over the keys and then stop altogether.

Now it’s your turn to listen. You know his dad is some sort of guardian he was close to, so you understand why he responded the way he did. The term hamster, though, is unfamiliar to you. Since he mentions feeding it, you figure it must be some kind of pet small enough to be cared for by humans.

At first when you hear that he would kill for his experiences, you wonder what he means since killing is native to trolls. You guess that applies largely to you. But maybe it’s some kind of horrible thing for the humans. Your suspicions are quickly confirmed by John’s explanation.

You listen quietly to John’s reasoning. It does make sense to you, especially given the seemingly boring human life you know only a little about. But when he mentions meeting you and reaches out to take your hand, you feel the same tingle where his skin meets yours and find yourself returning the infectious smile he gives you. For a moment you do expect him to flush again, but surprisingly, he just keeps looking at you with that smile you’re growing to love. It’s nice to know that you are included in his list of reasons to stay.

You realize with some surprise that your fingers have curled around John’s hand in return, holding on maybe a little tighter than necessary. You don’t remember when your hand closed around his, but it’s a pleasant feeling, albeit maybe a little uncomfortable for him. With a bit of chagrin, you loosen your grip to just loosely grasp his hand. Now that he’s here, the next year doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it did a couple hours ago. You might even look forward to the idea of spending a year on this meteor with him.

Even the idea that you’re looking forward to the next year is surprising to you. You just spent the better part of two years almost completely alone on this meteor, then suddenly John shows up, and now it’s clear that it was worth the wait. You’ve probably had more fun since he arrived than you had during your two years of semi-seclusion. It’s one of the weirdest feelings you’ve ever experienced. For a moment you wonder if those feelings might be red. You aren’t sure what it’s supposed to feel like since you’ve never really been in this position, but you think you might have flushed feelings for him. Even Karkat had seen it, you realize. He had compared you to the only two possibly flushed couples on the meteor. You know your quadrants are messed up when Karkat Vantas, of all people, knows more about them than you do.

You quickly brush away your thoughts and turn your attention back to John. You don’t have much of an appetite, but you can hear the gurgle in his stomach that you assume to mean that he needs food. You aren’t sure exactly what humans eat - besides cake, that is, so you suppose you’ll just root out an alchemiter so he can grab some food.

“Let’s find an alchemiter, you can probably make something using that.” You gesture vaguely toward the door. “I think it’s the room next to the one you landed in."

"It doesn't have to be a date unless you want it to be," you add as an afterthought, assuming he probably doesn't want it to be a date.

You stand in silence for a few moments before continuing.

“John...thank you for coming,” you say quietly, dropping your eyes to stare at the floor with a bit of a smile. It was a sincere thought, you realize. You are glad he showed up when he did. It brought some happiness back into your life. The last two years still linger in your mind as an unpleasant memory, but you don't think of it as much when you're around him.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Go on a date with an alien

Vriska's tightened grip on your hand was a fantastic sensation. Not only that, it helped you sense that her feelings weren't all that different from yours. You had been a bit nervous at first, reaching out and touching her without prompt. She came from an entirely different culture. An entirely different species. As many similarities there were between Trolls and Humans, there were also some pretty considerable differences. Romance seemed to be a major one, what with their complicated quadrants. For all you knew, holding her hand was a grave offense. You decided to take that risk because you cared enough about her and thankfully it paid off.

There's a brief mention of an alchemiter but your mind quickly focuses on what she said directly after, instead. Your grin widens and you reach out to take her other hand as well. "Geeeeez well when you put it that way... Let me think about it for a sec. Hmmm.. ahh.." You feign uncertainty as you gaze up to the ceiling momentarily before returning your sights to the ravishing woman before you. "I absolutely want it to be! This is officially a date now because I said a thing! Sorry, that's just the way this works!"

You were already having a great time with Vriska, but the prospect of actually going on a date with her makes you feel, appropriately, lighter than air. When she offers a thank you for making the journey to the meteor, you almost don't know how to respond. You follow her eyes as they glance to the floor and lean down a bit so you can meet them again. "I'm just sorry it wasn't sooner. Guess we have to make up for lost time, huh?" You smile softly and press your forehead against hers.

Reluctantly you pull away after a few long moments, releasing one of her hands but maintaining your grip on the other as you guide her out of the room and back into the dark corridors. You don't even give a second thought to cheesy it may have looked intertwining your fingers with hers as you both walked side by side. You didn't really give a damn. Neither of you walk very fast because as far as you're concerned you're already where you want to be and any other destination is fine just as long as she's still with you.

Be the Coolkid

Damn, if you thought you were lucky being John then you just got slapped in the face with a fistful of luck because you're now Dave Fucking Strider.

Sooooo cooooool.

You've been busy alchemizing some fresh chalk for Can Town, which has since been upgraded to Cantropolis. You're looking forward to giving them to Terezi and watching her flip her shit over the untainted dusty coloring sticks. New chalk was like simultaneously Christmas and her birthday. If Trolls had Christmas. Everything seems about ready though and as you head out the door you're suddenly greeted with the sight of John and Vriska looking particularly friendly with their hands clasped together.

"Oh, uh, hey Dave!" He utters in surprise, blushing a bit. He doesn't make any attempt to hide their gesture of affection, however. As usual, your expression is pokerfaced.

"Sup Egbert. Serket." You respond coolly, adjusting your grasp on all the chalk before it spills out onto the floor.

"You producing some of your fine artwork? Why chalk?" He inquires. You shake your head slightly.

"It's a Terezi thing. It's for Can Town. I mean. Can City? Cantropolis. Fuck I can't keep up with the names anymore."

"Wow that explains just about nothing at all! Thanks!" He grins and all you can do is shrug.

"Don't worry about it man. It's confidential info. Shit so secret it requires a blind Troll girl to smell a password inside a safe just to access the marvelous hidden treasures. Perhaps we'll initiate you soon. Come by sometime."

"Yeah, all right! Maybe later though... Vriska and I were gonna see what sort of food we could make with the alchemiter."

"Listen I have you hooked up. There are some fine ass meals in the fridge there and feel free to alchemize the shit out of them and make your own tasty masterpieces. You have my permission to be Iron Chef or Paradox Space. Secret Ingredient: Everything."

"Haha, awesome. Thanks, Dave! We'll hang out soon, then!"

You nod and he begins to head inside, but before they're both in you glance over to Vriska. "Hey Serket, got a sec?"

John looks confused for a moment and seems to be disappointed with having to let go of her hand. Nonetheless he smiles and looks back at you two. "I'll start getting things going then!"

Once John disappears into the room you turn to Vriska and sigh lightly. "Look I'm going to do something unusual and just talk straight for a change. No jokes no sarcasm. If you and John have something going, like actual genuine affection for each other, then that's awesome and I'm happy for you guys.

But... If you're playing some sort of game, just messing with him, or just doing this out of boredom then do everyone a favor and stop it now before he gets hurt. Cause if you do hurt him, things will probably go pretty bad for you. I mean, that's not even counting me. Jade is the one you'll have to watch out for. We might all be 'god tiers' but she's the closest one to the literal definition of god. She is the master of space merged with her prototyped First Guardian dog. I don't think we can comprehend what pissing her off would do.

Anyway, I'm not trying to threaten you. Just giving you some advice. Like I said, if the feelings are mutual, then more power to you guys. John's a good kid, he deserves some happiness. I'll admit, you and him? Seems like a pretty baffling combination to me. But if you make each other happy, who am I to judge?"

With that, you head off toward your rendezvous with Terezi and the Mayor. Some serious construction was needing to take place.

John: Alter wardrobe and begin to prepare feast

You're once again John Egbert and while you don't really know what Dave needed to talk to Vriska about, you figure it wouldn't hurt getting a bit of a head start on things. The place looked like a nice big dining room with settings of various types. Large group tables, sofas around coffee tables, even some more romantic, candlelit tables off to the side. Even though you said this was a date, you think those seats might be a bit too cliche. Besides, the sofas were right in front of a nice big TV and what better to go with great food than a great movie? Vriska mentioned in a very backwards way that she actually liked that one clip of Nick Cage you sent her, so maybe she wouldn't mind watching one of his films? Con Air was out of the question, at least for now. Maybe you'd learn to appreciate it again some time but at the moment the thought of it just kinda make you angry. Cage was still awesome, though.

Your stomach growls once again and you're eager to get cooking. Or alchemizing or whatever, but first you decide some new clothes are in order. It seemed a bit silly roaming around in the god tier outfit all the time, as comfortable as it was. Thankfully, when ascending to god tier you retained your previous outfit in your captchalog deck. The one Vriska had designed for you.

You decided that a few alterations were in order this time. Quickly you whip up a new version of the black green slime shirt, combining it with your god hood. It resulted in a black shirt with the light blue Hero of Breath symbol in place of the slime ghost. Not too bad.

Next you combine the green button-up shirt and one of Vriska's dice which you got when she gave you the codes. It results in a Vriska-blue button-up with an 8-sided die graphic on the front pocket. Yes, this was what you wanted.

You retain the same jeans and red sneakers, knowing Vriska was still a fan of those evidenced by the fact she was currently wearing them now. Quickly you don the new gear just in time for Vriska to return from her chat with Dave.

"Hey! Figured I'd change things up a bit... What do you think?"
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Give up and be in the flushed quadrant already

You allow your other hand to be caught in John’s and watch with a mixture of amusement and affection as his smile grows and he glances at the ceiling and then back to you. At first, you almost hadn’t been sure what he would say, but now that he says it, you know that the answer could never have been anything else. His reply confuses you a little, but you get the gist of it - it’s officially a date now. You are going on a date. With John. On a meteor. After two years of not talking to him. This has got to be the craziest thing you’ve ever done. And you wouldn’t change it for anything.

You find yourself still looking into his bright blue eyes as your own eyes move toward the floor. For some reason this strikes you as an incredibly sweet gesture. The feeling is only magnified by the sudden warmth of his forehead against yours. You are a little surprised by the suddenness of the movement, but it feels nice to just stand there with both of your hands in his and kind of just be together. It feels peaceful, for a change. Not boring, not dull. Just peaceful.

Wait, hang on. This is a relatively new feeling to you. You realize that you can no longer doubt or deny having flushed feelings for John. Not when simple little touches like this send your heart fluttering. As ridiculous as some of the others might find it, you know you’ve completely fallen for this guy.

As all of this courses through your mind, you stand in easy silence for a few seconds before breaking away from each other, leaving only one of your hands in John’s hand. You are well aware of the level of cheesiness of the way the two of you look at the moment. For once in your life, you don’t care one bit. You’re perfectly happy in this position.

You allow John to lead you out of the room and down the dim hallway, walking slowly back toward the room you started in. You aren't in any particular hurry - you just enjoy the sensation of his skin against yours for more than just a few seconds at a time.

As you approach the room that houses the alchemiter, you hear footsteps, and suddenly Strider is standing in front of you holding a handful of chalk. It doesn't take you long to piece it together. Terezi loves chalk. Her obsession with it is a little creepy, but you guess it's understandable. You've seen the weird city of cans. It’s...well, it’s weird.

You give Strider a nod as he acknowledges you. It took next to no time to learn that physical gestures work at least as well as a handful of words when communicating with him. You listen somewhat awkwardly to the inevitable question and the response. You’re sure John will now have to know exactly what Cantropolis is eventually.

Dave’s voice calling your name stops you from following John into the room. You let go of John’s hand and watch as he heads into the room to get things started, then you return your attention to the human in front of you. You think you already know what he’s going to say though.

As soon as he mentions “genuine affection,” you know you were right. And his voice didn’t have any of its usual sarcasm. At all. But you saw this coming miles away and knew you would have to deal with it eventually. After spending two years on a meteor with you, anyone who knew you even the slightest bit could see the extent of your boredom. You guess you understand the reason why he’s talking to you about it.

And you guess you kind of deserve it. After all you’ve done, you can think of no reason why Dave should trust you with his best friend. Sure, it makes sense. You still don’t like it, but you can’t blame him for confronting you about it.

Still, at least he isn’t telling you to back off and unleashing a twenty-minute rant, rather like Karkat probably would. You appreciate being given the benefit of the doubt. Thinking back a few years, in retrospect, you know you were kind of crazy. You still are; it’s just that you feel more...normal when you’re around John.

You’ve never actually met Jade, nor do you really know anything about her besides a few vague details. But she does sound powerful. Like, really powerful. This, of course, changes absolutely nothing about how you feel. You knew how you felt about John long before you were told the extent of his paradox sister’s powers.

You stand with your hands shoved into your pockets, listening to Dave’s small monologue in silence, and you watch him walk away without a word. You know the advice was well meant for both of you. Probably more in John’s interest, but that’s irrelevant. You know you’ll never have to worry about following that advice.

You just kind of stand there for a few seconds, staring thoughtfully down the hall. If Dave reacted this strongly, even forgoing his normal tone to the implied affection between you and John, you’d hate to see how your friends would take it. You know Karkat would just become enraged and start off on one of his exhaustive rants. Terezi would probably...well, you don’t know what Terezi would do. You just know that none of them would be too pleased with you.

But enough of that. John is still waiting for you inside. This is supposed to be a date.

You head into the room, into a familiar setting. The first thing you notice is that John is no longer wearing his God Tier outfit. You find yourself smiling at the sight of his new shirt. He even made the shirt in your color and added one of dice as a design on a pocket. You walk forward, closing the distance between you and him until less than a foot of space separates you.

“It’s wonderful,” you reply softly, lightly tracing the outline of the die on the front pocket with a finger before letting your hand fall again. Changing the shirt was only a small thing, but it does mean a lot to you. You know you’re terrible at expressing really any kind of emotion besides anger, so you hope John can tell that you actually do appreciate the gesture.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Totally fall for this girl

Your eyes fixate on Vriska as she approaches you with a modest smile upon her face. It's not the most telling reaction and your head spins with her potential responses, but they become hard to focus on the closer she gets. When she's nearly upon you she finally voices her approval in a gentle, pleasurable tone. You're simultaneously relieved and elated, and you wonder if she felt your heart racing as she touched the pattern upon your shirt. A broad grin draws upon your face. At this point you've been smiling almost non-stop since the moment you saw her. It's almost starting to hurt, but you can't help it and you don't care. Eventually you reach out for her, lightly wrapping your hands around her waist as you pull her even closer until your bodies connect.

"I'm glad... Looking good for you on our date is the least I can do." You reply in a similarly soft tone. "You don't have to change a thing, though... In fact I may not have been entirely honest earlier when I said you were really pretty. How I could understate myself so severely is basically a crime. I should probably go to jail."

A brief scenario plays out in your mind where you're sitting in a jail cell along with a burly, bald man with some very troubling tattoos. He gives you a semi-toothless grin and you just glance back.

'So what are you in for?' You ask curiously and the man just continues with his creepy stare.

'Burnin' down an orphanage.' He responds almost with pride. 'You?'

You chuckle hoarsely. 'I called Vriska Serket merely 'really pretty'.'

The man's eyes widen with horror and he shuffles into the furthest corner of the cell away from you. 'Damn, man.... Just.... Damn.... You cold...'

Your eyes are locked onto Vriska's, admiring her attractive blue eyeliner, and the feeling of her body against yours is setting you aflame. You've seen women you've found appealing, and you've had your share of silly crushes (usually on unattainable movie stars), but Vriska is on another level entirely. You wouldn't trade even this one moment for a thousand dates with Liv Tyler or anyone else.

"The truth is you're the most breathtaking woman I've ever seen..." You continue with your voice barely above a whisper, though still perfectly audible in your close proximity. After a moment you chuckle lightly, realizing that such a comment had a bit of a twist on it considering your status as the Hero of Breath. "Uh, no pun intended... Anyway it's more than just your looks... You're smart and confident and funny. The whole package really. I feel like now I'm the one who has all the luck."

The focal point of your gaze falls upon Vriska's soft, sensuous blue lips now, and your hunger for actual food is replaced entirely by a hunger for her instead. Her intoxicating scent and warm breath only add to your craving. You want nothing more than to taste her. To drown yourself against her....

But you're still a bit nervous. You've never had a real kiss before. You kissed Rose's corpse to wake her dream-self up, a concept still considerably disturbing to you, but you don't really count that. It wasn't like she could tell you whether or not it was good, nor was that the point at the time. Right now, you just want this date to go well. It was still the beginning and rushing things could ruin everything, especially if you just assumed she wanted the same things you did. Vriska's comfort and happiness still had priority.

God, you wanted to kiss her, though...

You soon come to the realization that Vriska's soft chest is comfortably pressing against you and this further influences the stirring arousal already occurring in your jeans. You flush profusely and give a nervous chuckle as you separate your bodies. "Ah y-yeah so... right! Food! That's what we were doing!" You stammer in an attempt to direct attention away from that moment and hoping that maybe she didn't even notice.

You quickly move over to the kitchen area of the room, choose one of the freezers, and open it instantly. You try to play it off like you're just inspecting what sort of things are available to work with as Dave explained earlier, but truthfully you just needed to cool down. The blast of cold air is incredibly refreshing and somewhat calms your arousal. You're thankful for this as trying to keep your lower torso hidden from view could have been a difficult task. Now you actually turn your attention toward the available food and contemplate your choices.

"Welp! Let's get started!" You state cheerfully, grabbing various food items and setting them on one of the counters. There seemed to be a lot of things that you don't recognize, and it seems like a safe bet they're from the Trolls. You glance back to Vriska and offer an inviting smile. "Feel free to make anything you might want me to try, too. Who knows, maybe our food isn't all that different. I'm told you guys have cotton candy? We may as well be the same species!"
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Completely forget the original reason for the date

As your finger trails a path on John’s shirt, your expression grows thoughtful. You can’t help noticing that his smile has hardly left his face since you first saw him. You find his constant happiness to be contagious - suddenly, the last two years seem to have never happened. Now the focus of your attention is the human boy standing in front of you. Somehow this guy has taken your heart and ran away with it. Then, suddenly, his hands are on your waist, drawing you closer so that you are pressed against him. You are close enough to feel the steady beat of his heart through his shirt, and you realize with some embarrassment that he can probably feel your own heartbeat speeding up at the contact. Yet you don’t care. It’s enough just to be this close to him.

You aren’t sure what he means by “jail,” but from what he just said, you guess it’s probably some sort of place for human criminals. It makes no difference to you. You notice that he has started to stare into space a little, probably immersed in another one of his imagined scenes. Still, you keep your eyes on his, watching his eyes come back into focus and look at you. You realize that at some point over the last several seconds, your hands have come up to rest comfortably on his shoulders. Right now, at this moment, nothing matters except this one moment with him. You can feel your heart racing at an incredible pace, but you hardly notice it.

You can feel heat rush to your face at his sudden compliment; you had never thought of yourself as goodlooking. Even your confidence and snarkiness had sometimes left you unsure, but hearing the words come from John - especially John - somehow makes you feel as if you’re half in a dream, and you believe the sincerity of his words.

You watch John’s gaze shift slightly, and though you can’t tell what has distracted him, you are perfectly happy to watch him. You weren’t really that hungry in the first place, but being here, this close to him, completely banishes any thought of eating from your mind. For one of the first times in your life, you find yourself at a loss for words. All you can do is watch him silently, looking into the cheerful bright blue of his eyes. You contemplate leaning in for a kiss, but you discard the thought almost immediately. You don’t want to put him off by being too forward, you think regretfully. After all, he did only meet you an hour or so ago, and the last thing you want is to scare him away. So you content yourself to stay in your current position, sharing the wordless affection.

The moment is cut short rather abruptly as blood rushes to John’s face again and he releases his light hold on your waist and offers a slight laugh. You find yourself a little disappointed, but you know he’s probably hungry after recent events.You kind of wish you had made a move earlier, but you would wait any length of time for him, you think, noting with some amusement how terribly infatuated you sound to yourself.

You follow John to the freezers, trailing several feet behind him to allow him some space to examine the contents of the containers. For all intents and purposes, he seems to be looking for something to eat. The human food that you’ve seen is surprisingly similar to the same stuff Trolls eat, save for the varying names. The hoofbeast meat, you know, is kind of like the stuff the humans call beef. You do see a few of the more uncommon foods you don’t think humans have, like the grubsauce. To be perfectly honest, you aren’t a big fan of the dark green stuff. It’s good when mixed with the human ketchup and spread on either kind of burger though, as you discovered in a somewhat fortunate accident. Absentmindedly, you take the two bottles of sauce from two entirely different worlds and set them aside to be used.

You hear John mention cotton candy, and with a smile you open another one of the freezers and reach in, coming out again with a small bag of the gauzy stuff. Even you have to admit you like it.

“I have to say, this was not on the list of things I expected to do tonight,” you say with a hint of amusement. Then the humor lessens as your thoughts turn a little. “I...I’m glad you’re here though. And that we’re finally getting our ‘human date.’ Even though it took a while.” You give him another smile as your good mood returns. “I’ll make something for you to try if you make something for me to try,” you offer.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Finally get the food started, you slacker

Vriska's initial response causes you to snicker softly. "You didn't expect to do what? Eat? No wonder you're so thin." You tease as you playfully poke her in the side.

Vriska's following comment fills you with delight and you pause your hunt for ingredients to flash her a smile in return. It was comforting to know nothing you had done had put her off and she was still enjoying herself. "I'm glad, too..." You begin, grabbing a few of the food items you had gathered and heading over to the Alchemiter. Not before you sneak a quick kiss onto her cheek, however. You spin on your heel to watch her as you walk backwards while donning a lively expression. "May have taken two years, but it was more than worth the wait..."

You place a few items into the Alchemiter and test your luck. The end result is a cheesy pineapple. Not quite the intended result. "Alright, guess my attempt at efficiency was too optimistic... Deal, by the way! At the thing you said. About the food trade. I will try just about anything! Uh, just make sure it doesn't have peanuts in it. Deathly allergic to those. What's the Troll equivalent of a peanut...? I guess if I died from an allergy I'd just revive. Death by peanut probably isn't very heroic or just, huh? Probably be a terrible few minutes though..." You ramble on while diligently working toward your goal. Every failed combination gets tossed in a shaft in the wall which was conveniently labeled for trash. You begin to wonder if it just gets jettisoned into space and there is now some cheese pineapple just casually drifting off into a dream bubble somewhere.

With a bit of focus and concentrated combinations you finally achieve success. Despite the previous failed attempts you still think it went well. If you had been forced to actually cook something who knows what sort of abomination you would have ended up with. You take the warm, square box and place it off to the side before heading back to acquire more things of the foodmaking variety. "Sorry, by the way..." You speak with a somewhat muffled voice as you rummage through a cupboard before poking your head back out. "About this being a human date, I mean... If it makes you feel any better it's my first one regardless, sooo... despite being a human I'm just as new to it as you are, heheh. Maybe our next one can be a Troll date, if that's a thing. And also assuming I can handle it."

The staggering amount of liquor you're coming across is rather baffling. "Do Trolls drink alcohol?" You wonder out loud as you rummage around for other ingredients. After all, drinking didn't seem like a Dave thing to do. It could potentially compromise his 'cool' exterior. You knew Rose's mom was a bit of a lush but you just could not imagine Rose herself drinking. Maybe the meteor had this stuff stocked already...

You eventually fumble numerous bottles of liquid over to the Alchemiter and laboriously combine one drink after another. No. That's just regular Pepsi. No that is just... motor oil? Ew... Wait, how could you be so foolish. Sprite + Pepsi = .... Yes! Crystal Pepsi! You did it! You brought it back! They said it would never happen! People of Earth would be singing your praises right now if they had not all been decimated by a rain of meteors. "I am literally a genius." You proclaim as you grab the bottles of the sparkling drink and the box of food from before and set them upon a table between one of the sofas and the television.

"I'll get a movie started while you get yours ready!" You call over to Vriska as you inspect a computer hooked up to the large flatscreen. It doesn't take long to access the large database of movies that somehow had been downloaded and stored up on the main server. It seems like the Trolls had been busy trying to learn about human culture this way. You have to wonder if they now have some gross misunderstandings thanks to that. Then again, one of the films on the list appeared to be Office Space and it was hard to get a more accurate portrayal of human suffering than that.

You eventually come across a title that seems pretty appropriate. Pirates of the Caribbean. Vriska had spoken of her pirate ancestor before, so perhaps this was one she'd appreciate. Regardless, it was a film that didn't require too much attention as you figured Vriska would have most of yours, and hopefully vice versa. You start it up and dim the lights a bit before flipping open the box you had previously laid out. "So this is a favorite of mine. Hawaiian pizza. Trolls can't possibly have that, right? I mean, you don't have Hawaii!" You reason as you take a seat on the sofa, already excited about the prospect of the return of her warmth when she inevitably takes the seat beside you...
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: See what you can whip up

“Well of course I expected to eat. And I’m not that thin!” You can’t resist a small giggle as John’s finger digs into your side, making you jump a little in surprise. It sounds weird to you, hearing yourself laugh. It feels good though.

You watch him walking around the counters, grabbing bits of food items in places and putting them back, watching his energetic rhythm as he moves. It’s easy for you to be happy when around that contagious smile and bounce. Your hand flies up to your cheek in surprise at the feel of a quick kiss, and before you can react, John is already halfway across the room, walking backwards and grinning at you. You don’t voice your thoughts, but you agree. The two years you waited were well worth the wait and more.

Turning to watch John, you spend a fair amount of time watching him try out various combinations of food in the Alchemiter. It’s interesting to watch him try to combine the strangest pairings of foods and throw them all down the garbage chute. You smile a little, imagining a trail of failed food combinations floating along behind the meteor on its voyage. Not that you know exactly what happens to the food, but you do your best with your imagination. Peanuts...you think you know what peanuts are. You remember trying those little seedlike chunks once. You kind of liked them, you guess. But if John can’t eat them, then you won’t use them.

You enjoy the spectacle of John wrestling with the Alchemiter, trying to get a useful combination of food out of it. You also wonder if he’s making anything normal humans eat. It’s doubtful since he’s having so much trouble with it. For all you know, whatever he’s conjuring up might well be just as new to him as it will be to you. But of course, that make it even more fun to try. You watch as a box appears in the Alchemiter and he finally decides that it’s satisfactory and puts it to the side instead of down the trash chute.

“I’ve been on a Troll date about as many times as you’ve been on a human date,” you admit a little guiltily. Normally you wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but since he just said this was his first ever “date,” you might as well just put it out there. Besides, you find the fact that your first date isn’t even within your species kind of funny. It took a game that resulted in the apocalypse and several near-death experiences to get you to the point where you finally got to go on a date with someone, and of all the people in the universe and all the other universes, you fell for a human from the universe your Sgrub team created. It’s the most unlikely couple, you think to yourself with a slight smile. To be honest though, Troll dates aren’t that far from what human dates are turning out to be, from what you’re seeing.

When John reaches the cabinets stuffed to the brim with liquor, you assume he probably won’t want any. He just doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to like it, and you seem to be right. You’ve actually seen the human girl, the pale haired one with the bottles a few times, but you think it best to leave that to John to figure out. You do notice, though, that he seems to be absorbed in the strange liquid called Pepsi and a clear liquid called Sprite. You’ve never actually tried either of them. They just didn’t sound like they’d taste good. But since John seems to be thrilled about his creation with the two, you figure it can’t hurt to try some tonight.

You move in to claim the space around the Alchemiter as John heads to the huge television nearby. You see the screen flash between a number of human movies, some of which you’ve seen and most of which you haven’t.

...Fine, so you watched all the Nick Cage movies. That was a long time ago. You’re over your silly little crush. Just thinking about it makes you want to disappear into an embarrassed ball of embarrassment. It never happened it never happened it never happened...

You screw with a few of the Troll foods on the Alchemiter for a minute before giving up and grabbing a flat patty of hoofbeast meat - fine, you’ll use the human name for it. Hamburger - hoofburger? Whatever it is. You combine the grubsauce of your species with a few of the sauces specific to humans. But mostly the red stuff called ketchup. In just a few moments, you’ve also ended up with a steaming box. It’s bigger than you normally make it since you think John might actually like it. You might as well share a burger - you can always slice it in half if you need to.

“This is a lot bigger than it’s supposed to be, but it seemed too small the way it normally is. It’s kind of like a human hamburger with a mix of grubsauce and that disgusting red sauce you call ketchup,” you inform him. Taking your box, you head to the sofa and place your box next to the box of...something pizza and push back the lid. Having done that, you seat yourself next to John on the sofa, close enough so that the two of you are only an inch or two apart.

“I certainly hope you’ve picked something interesting,” you tell him, brushing your shoulder against his lightly with a smile.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Man up and try alien food with grubsauce

Your expression turns a bit sour at the mere mention of 'grubsauce' but you're still smiling and taking it in good humor. "Wow if that's what it sounds like, then that's incredibly gross! But hey, like I said, I'll try it!"

Though the movie's intro was beginning to play, your attention to it was essentially nonexistent now that Vriska has taken the seat beside you. A wave of delight rushes through your body knowing that despite the rather large sofa she still chose to sit as close to you as possible. The simple brush of her shoulder against yours only adds to your already giddy mood and you plan to take every opportunity to feel her against you even if it's in small doses like that. Her following remark almost makes her sound dubious of whatever film you've chosen causing you to place a hand upon your chest and gasp in an exaggerated mock surprise.

"Miss Serket, Do you doubt my tremendously refined taste!? I'll have you know people on Earth constantly entrusted me to make important decisions for them every day! Once even Dave asked me what movie he should watch, and he was so enraptured by the emotional clutches of Deep Impact that he could never bring himself to ask me for another recommendation ever again for fear of his soul being completely and utterly annihilated." You grinned as you related this totally bogus story. Well it wasn't entirely bogus. The part about Dave watching Deep Impact on your recommendation was correct, as was the part about him never taking your recommendations ever again.

"And let's not forget the most appropriate example of my good taste. My taste in women," You continue with more honesty coating the tone of your voice now while leaning into Vriska's shoulder, giving her a handsome grin. "I think I have proven my point!"

It was quite a relief that this was Vriska's first date as well. It eased the pressure a bit, as you wondered if there were any Troll guys you'd have to live up to. All you hoped was that she was having a good time. It was pointless to dwell on other guys and her possible relationships with them. She chose to spend tonight with you and that was what mattered. Right now, you had to hold up your end of the bargain and try the 'grubsauce burger'.

The meat was purple and a green substance oozed out from between the bread. Suddenly you weren't too hungry anymore. Brilliant plan, Egbert. You can either refuse to eat it and hurt her feelings, or you can take the plunge and potentially vomit everywhere. Which way would you prefer to ruin your date with the most perfect woman in two universes? The latter was at least the brave option and perhaps she would respect that despite being disgusted by your inevitably poor reaction.

Taking a deep breath, you take a big bite of the hoofbeast burger and preemptively scrunch your face expecting something atrocious. However, there was no horrible taste. In fact, it wasn't bad at all. It was actually... really good. You make sure to finish chewing and swallow before voicing your expert culinary opinion.

"Wow, that's actually really good!" You decide right then and there you should be a food critic since you had such a way with words. No, not really. That would be stupid. "Tastes kinda like mayo..."

You proceed to help Vriska in dividing the food, giving yourself larger portions on her insistence that she still wasn't very hungry. Well, you were, so that worked out just fine as far as you were concerned.

The Hawaiian pizza was indeed a favorite of yours, but it was hit or miss with humans so predicting how a Troll would react to it wasn't much easier. Many people balked at the idea of putting pineapple on pizza, but you thought it was a perfect combination. As you relay this information to your date, a thought smacks you across the head. "The pizza is basically a perfect metaphor for us! Pineapple and pizza are two things that are totally awesome separately, but the thought of them together? Some people might say that's crazy. They'd say 'stop being crazy, crazy person.' But I say no! They may be completely different foods from completely different cultures but god damn it somehow they just work together despite all odds!" You monologue passionately. Yes, truly you are this generation's Martin Luther King, fighting for everyone's right to attempt strange food combinations.

You lean back on the sofa and take another bite of the hoofbeast burger followed by a sip of soda, all while shaking your head at your own stupidity. "Seriously though if you don't like it that's cool. I won't take it personally. Your half of the burger will probably be pretty filling as it is." You add with a bit of a chuckle. "Same goes for the movie. It's about pirates so I pretty much chose it on that basis alone. Johnny Depp spends most of the movie acting more like like Keith Richards than a pirate, though."
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Try the Hawaiian pizza

You notice John’s expression change a bit when you mention grubsauce - you know what he’s probably thinking, since it probably would sound kind of disgusting to a human. “It’s not that bad,” you promise. “It only sounds awful.”

The music coming from the television set as the movie starts is completely unfamiliar, but it’s of minor concern to you. Out of curiosity, you half watch as the movie starts, but the main focus of your attention is still on the human boy next to you. You love being so close - you can feel his warmth and excitement practically radiating from him. His sudden outburst of what you suspect to be only partly true makes you laugh a little. You know that Strider did have reasons for never taking John’s movie recommendations, and those reasons weren’t cast in such a positive light. But at least the movie playing now doesn’t suck. You doubt he would have picked a bad movie in this particular instance, at least.

You think you feel something inside you just turn into a wobbly mess when you catch sight of the grin directed at you, and you can’t resist smiling back at him. It’s just so freaking hard to think when you’ve got him leaning into you with that smile on his face.

Admittedly, you aren’t quite sure if he’ll want to try the grubsauce burger. You guess it would look disgusting to a human, so you wouldn’t have been offended if he’d refused. But that would make it so much more awesome if he did try it. You watch him bring the thing up and hesitate for a moment, probably considering the consequences of eating anything called “grubsauce.”

The reaction is actually better than you’d hoped it would be. Of course, you’ve never had mayonnaise, so you have no idea what “mayo” is. But if it tastes like the grubsauce, then you think you have a fairly good idea of what it tastes like.

As you take a piece of the Hawaiian pizza, you notice that John’s split the burger unevenly, remembering that you aren’t too hungry and giving you a relatively small piece. You’re glad he remembered, because he’s probably starving and you wouldn’t want to waste any food when you’re not hungry to begin with. Your smile returns at his explanation of the Hawaiian pizza. You and him really are an unlikely couple, you suppose. It seems obvious now, but you guess two years ago it would have seemed different.

You’ve never had pineapple, so you have no idea what this will taste like. But the tiny yellow bits of fruit look...kind of gross. But John tried your creation, so you’ll try his. You lift a piece up and stare at it a little dubiously for a moment before taking a bite. It tastes weird but really good. You take another bite and decide you like it.

“The pizza is better than it looks,” you admit, taking another bite. You swallow before continuing. “The yellow st-- the pineapple looks strange. But it works well on this.”

You follow John’s example and lean back into the couch, kinda sorta maybe half leaning on his shoulder. It’s surprisingly comfortable, so you settle into your position with your slice of pizza and small piece of grubsauce burger.

The fact that this movie was about pirates did come to your attention. It might have had something to do with the title...just a guess. It’s cool that it’s about pirates though. Your mind drifts a little to your ancestor, and you wonder if John picked a movie about pirates on purpose. The names he relays mean nothing to you - you guess they must be actors.

You listen to the first few seconds of the beginning of the movie, but you can’t seem to move your attention from John. It’s almost infuriating how aware you are of where your arm is touching his. But it’s comfortable. Like, really comfortable. So you content yourself with leaning on his shoulder and finishing off your slice of pizza. The burger is kind of forgotten, and you end up just sitting there in silence. You haven’t been very talkative over the last two years, so you’re not sure what you should be saying - or even if you should be saying anything. After all, you have no idea how human dates work. But sitting in this position is really all you need to fill the silence.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: KISS THE GIRL YA WIMP

You chuckle softly upon hearing Vriska's reaction to the pizza, nudging her shoulder with yours. "Told ya." You say with a grin as you take another bite of the burger.

You proceed to attempt to turn your attention to the movie while eating, but it's difficult to keep your eyes off of her. The whole night has been surreal, to say the least, and every so often you'd pinch your own arm to make absolutely sure you were not dreaming. You were on a date with a beautiful alien girl responsible for creating your entire universe as well as responsible for your own death. It was difficult to even comprehend so you tried not to think about it too much. All you cared about was how you were happier right now than you ever have been. Every smile she gave you, every brush of her shoulder, made you feel wonderful. Even better was that you were slowly getting the impression that she felt the same way.

There's a period of silence as you both finish eating and just lean against each other as the movie plays on before you. Not long after you brave placing an arm around Vriska's waist in an effort to feel more of her. To have her even closer. Much to your delight, your arm is not rebuffed. You flash another smile before looking back toward the screen. You've seen the film quite a few times, but it's still difficult to parse what's happening. All you can think about is her warmth against you and how you hope it never goes away. The movie has lost pretty much all meaning at this point, so you take an opportunity to just close your eyes and focus on your current position. You briefly wonder what Dave or Karkat would think if they walked in at this moment. It wasn't exactly a terribly compromising position, but you had sensed that neither of them thought very highly of Vriska. Well, you sensed it from Dave. Karkat flat out screamed his disapproval. Maybe they were justified in those opinions, but none of it seemed to matter to you because right now being with her just felt... right.

As the movie continued on, some light conversation began to manifest. Vriska seemed confused that the pirates were not more ruthless and you attempted to explain the movie's purpose, rating and target audience. Since murder was still like a totally bad thing to humans they couldn't show too much violence or gore otherwise less people would be able to see it. And so on and so forth. The whole concept seemed to bewilder her, even though she comprehended your explanation. The conversation seems to stray off into Vriska's pre-Sgrub days and her time spent FLARPing. Almost everything she said sounded completely fascinating to you. The mechanics of FLARPing itself. Her roleplay identity as Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Her rivalry with Eridan/Dualscar. Her Scourge Sister partnership with Terezi/Redglare. The battles against Team Charge: Tavros and Aradia. After all that, your childhood games seemed like, well... child's play. People actually died during such FLARP sessions on Alternia. It was kind of a frightening concept, especially when it was described as necessary. If Vriska hadn't been able to feed her lusus it may very well have just eaten her instead. The implications of such a relationship and what it required to do explained a lot of things about her personality. Having to kill so many people just to feed her massive spider custodian certainly had some lasting effects on her, but you admire her despite the gruesome task. It would have been impossible for a human to do such a thing and not have it ruin them psychologically.

You make some feeble attempts to make your own life seem interesting but they fall flat. You have no great tales or exciting adventures other than the ones in Sburb. Your life seems utterly mundane in comparison, but for some reason she still seems to want to hear it. You explain some of your favorite games, like Earthbound and Monkey Island. Some terrifying tales of the Green Slime Pogo are also relayed, which you manage to explain with over-exaggerated emotion for humorous purposes. It all sounds pathetic compared to having to build your own house as a child. Troll culture was compelling, to say the least. It did make you regret that you didn't have a more exciting activity for your first date with her, but it seemed like maybe she didn't mind so much. Somewhere down the line your free hand entangled with one of hers and you had no complaints whatsoever.

As the movie comes to a close, you realize that the last thing you want to do is leave your very comfortable position. If you managed to start another movie, however, that would give you an excuse to remain that way for at least a little while longer. Suddenly, an idea strikes you like lightning. "Ah! I've been practicing this. Just a little bit of windy power should let me hit the Enter key on the keyboard over there..."

You free your hand from Vriska's and concentrate on the keyboard with great intensity. All you needed was just a nice focused push right above the necessary key and...

FWOOM

A rather large gust of wind rushes in a cylindrical form over toward the computer being utilized to stream the movies to the television, knocking it from the desk completely and sending it crashing to the floor in an embarrassingly loud fashion. "Woah, shit!" You exclaim as your hand covers your mouth in surprise and shame.

The television screen turns black and lists some text in the Troll language which you can only assume means 'No Signal' or perhaps 'Nice going, fuckface.' Either one would be appropriate. You can't help but laugh and run a hand through your hair in exasperation. "Well uh... That... didn't go quite as planned." You mutter softly. As you glance back to Vriska your eyes connect with hers and you feel that sensation of your heart catching in your chest once again. The way the dim light compliments them is quite alluring and, as before, you happen to notice her soft, blue lips lightly parted and urging you in.

You feel like the longer you wait the harder it is to breathe. You need to taste her like you need oxygen at this point, and with the silence comforting you and her scent fueling your desire, you move yourself closer. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, your lips connect with hers. You're introduced to her intoxicating taste through the tender kiss and it's even more amazing than you could have imagined. The desire to deepen it considerably is overwhelming, but you want to keep the first one sweet and simple, especially since it was possible she wouldn't like it to begin with. You did, however. It was crazy how such a simple gesture could fill you with so much pleasure and excitement. Your hand returned to hers, fingers intertwining, as the arm still around her tightened its grip a bit more.

After a few moments which you wish could have lasted forever, you draw back some. Your eyes re-open and your blue eyes shine with affection as you stare back at her as before. You're not quite sure what to say at first, but you wouldn't be able to hear anything if you did. Your heart was pounding in your head so loudly it was almost deafening. You don't really realize that the smile on your face is probably a bit dopey, but you couldn't really help it.

"W-wow..." You finally manage to utter, barely above a whisper. "Sorry I... couldn't wait any longer to do that, heh..."
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Get kissed by an alien

You grin back at John, leaning with the slight push he gives you. You finish off the slice of pizza fairly quickly, preferring to be able to sit back without having to worry about not spilling bits of pineapple all over the couch.

Once he finishes eating, you watch the movie in silence, only half paying attention to the actual plot. It confuses you a little, to be honest, but your attention is abruptly diverted from the screen entirely when you feel a warm arm settle around your waist, pulling you a little closer. You are only too happy to comply, scooting closer to John, if getting closer was even possible. Now you’re literally right next to him, your side resting comfortably against his. He seems to be thinking about something, since he’s closed his eyes. Or maybe he’s sleeping. But you doubt the possibility of the latter. You look back at the movie, but you aren’t really watching it. You’re more focused on the steady warmth of the arm around you.

After a little while, your curiosity finally gets the better of you. You just have to wonder aloud exactly what pirates in human culture are supposed to be like. Because if this movie is an accurate representation of human pirates, you wonder that they get anything done at all. Once John explains it, it makes more sense to you. Since this is just fiction made for people who aren’t as used to violent death as your species is, maybe human pirates are not as trivial in reality. Somehow the mention of pirates goes off on a tangent and into your early life on Alternia. Your date seems to be largely unfamiliar with your pastimes, but he does seem particularly interested in FLARP. You spend a little while describing your FLARP sessions, going into more detail on the topic of your rivalries, oppositions, and partnerships. You don’t give him as many specifics as might be helpful, but there were some fairly nasty things that happened sometimes. Anyway, you know that he already knows from various sources about the worst things you’ve done while FLARPing. You don’t see any reason to give him more of a reason to be scared of you, even if he says he isn’t.

You stop talking after a while and realize that you don’t know a hell of a lot about John’s life, so you ask him about his life on Earth. Even though the culture might not have been as active as yours was, you’re still curious to know what he did when he was younger.

If anything, his childhood sounded like more fun than yours was. He didn’t have the responsibility of feeding and caring for a lusus and he spent plenty of time with games. Even though his games didn’t have the additional excitement of the possibility of ending up dead at the end of them, they still sounded interesting.

You notice that the movie looks like it’s ready to come to a close. Whatever the plot was, the problem seems to have been resolved, albeit in a rather...strange way, you observe. You wonder how much longer you’ll have an excuse to stay in this position. With your fingers twined with John’s and your shoulder leaning against his, you’re very reluctant to move.

You shift a little to allow his arm room to move, and you look between him and the computer with a little confusion, wondering what he’s going to do. You get the feeling that using his “windy powers” might not turn out as well as both of you would hope.

You still can’t help the slight laugh that comes out at the disastrous effects of John’s attempt to press the Enter key. The sudden crash startles you, but it is funny rather than embarrassing. As is his reaction to it. Well, there goes any more possibility of more movies - for tonight, at least. The television goes blank at the loss of the signal from the computer, the cord connecting it to the computer having been yanked out as the computer fell.

The amusement lasts only a short time before you turn to look back at John. Suddenly, you’re staring into his eyes and your face is only a few inches away from his. You wonder if he’s thinking the same thing that just flitted across your mind. You can feel your heart racing faster than you thought was possible in the few heavy seconds that pass before he finally leans in and presses his lips to yours.

It takes a moment to realize that you’re being kissed, but then suddenly everything’s on fire. Right at this moment, you’re aware of literally nothing else besides his lips on yours, the hand tangling with yours, and the arm around your waist drawing you the slightest bit closer.

The light kiss ends after only a few short seconds, and now you’re again looking into John’s eyes. You know you probably look uncharacteristically happy, but honestly, you don’t give a damn.

You stare at him for a good several seconds in silence after he offers up a tentative apology. You aren’t sure exactly what to say. Actually, you aren’t sure if you’re even remembering to breathe. So instead of replying you lean up to kiss him again, your free hand coming up from where it sits at your side to rest on his shoulder.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Gain level on relationship echeladder.

As you gaze into Vriska's eyes, wondering what her reaction would be, you notice her radiating with happiness. That look alone quells any fears you had that she might be unreceptive to your gesture. Still, her silence is almost tortuous. Was the kiss good? You had no idea what with that being your first real one. Would she welcome another if you offered it?

But instead of speaking she simply leans up to offer you another kiss and you return it gladly. You're more than satisfied with her decision to answer with actions rather than words because you wanted to kiss her again immediately after the first one ended. You release her hand for the time being to allow yours to slip behind the back of her head, enjoying the feel of her soft flowing hair against your fingers as you pull her deeper into the kiss. Both of your lips part further and there's a brief meeting of the tongues which causes your body to literally shudder with excitement, and by now the combined warmth of both your bodies makes it feel like a burning sun is trapped between you. The kiss stays longer than the first but still breaks eventually, allowing you to draw in a sharp, deep breath.

The shimmer in her eyes makes her look just as eager for more as you are, and knowing that you've gotten this far without screwing up is a joyous thought. "Vriska..." You utter softly, with a voice that feels huskier than usual. "Does... this make us official? Are we uh.. what was that word... matesprits...?" You add with a hopeful smile. Your hand comes around to her cheek, brushing against it lightly before you press your forehead against hers like you had done previously.

"If you were just having some fun tonight and didn't want this to be anything serious... I'll understand..." Your voice sounds particularly strained when you say that, almost as if you hadn't even considered that possibility until right this moment. There was no doubt that if that was the case, you'd be hurt, but it would be better to know now and get the painful part over with quickly.

"But I know how I feel..." You continue, your hand leaving her cheek to return to holding hers, fingers intertwined once again. You then pull her hand up to your lips, giving it a delicate kiss as you stare deeply into her unique eyes. "We might be entirely different species, but I don't care one bit. You're so beautiful and amazing and... perfect. I want to be with you... I've never been more certain about anything."

You seriously have to wonder if you're in love with this Troll girl. You had only talked with her for a day two years ago, and you had only just met her today. So it sounded a bit ridiculous to fall for someone so quickly, but you had felt something since the moment you saw her. You've never been in love before, so you didn't want to immediately confuse it with infatuation or lust, but the way she made you feel was fantastic. You felt elated to be around her. To talk to her. To touch her, even in simple ways. You wanted to make her feel the same way. "I'll do anything for you..." You whisper, the look in your eyes so completely honest. You feel at this point like you might in fact literally do anything for her.

"Anyway... I'm gonna stop babbling and kiss you again now..." You smirk while leaning back in to kiss her again, still soft and sweet like before, your arm tightening your embrace slightly. Your body hungers for more, but you patiently restrain yourself. You care about Vriska too much to take things too far too fast. Besides, just being able to hold her and kiss her like this was already making you happier than ever. It was going to be rough when you inevitably had to let go of her so you planned to enjoy it while it lasted.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

Vriska: Get a matesprit...?

You’re prepared for the kiss now, so the warm feeling that washes over you when your lips meet John’s doesn’t come as much of a surprise as it did the first time. But it still feels like you are floating. At some point during the next few seconds you feel his hand detach from yours and come to rest on the back of your head, combing through your hair a little. It’s a pleasant feeling. Your arms come up to wrap loosely around his neck to allow you to follow the gentle urge of the hand in your hair deeper into the kiss. Then suddenly you feel his tongue brush yours lightly, sending a shiver down your spine. You could not possibly imagine a more perfect moment.

After a few moments you pull away again, looking up at him with an expression you know looks ridiculously happy. You notice a strange change in his voice when he speaks again, but then again, you’re fairly sure your voice also doesn’t sound like it normally does right now. You allow your forehead to rest comfortably on his, closing your eyes again for several seconds. You’re close enough by now to be breathing the same air, and it feels completely right. Yes, you decide, you would think he is your matesprit now.

You feel a sharp twinge deep in your chest when he asks you if you were just messing with him tonight. Even his voice sounds less happy than it was a few seconds ago. You know you shouldn’t surprised that he at least considered the possibility that you were, but you can’t help feeling at least a little hurt. It’s your own fault, you guess. With your record, you wouldn’t be surprised if he suspects something.

The disappointment subsides somewhat a moment later when your eyes meet his again. You can’t seem to bring yourself to look away, even when you feel a light kiss on the back of your hand. You swear your face must be a deep cerulean blue by now, despite your efforts to stay unflustered. But without knowing it, John somehow voices the jumbled thoughts that are running through your head, seemingly without a problem. You are supposed to be the smooth one, and here he is taking your chaotic mind and organizing it into a few simple sentences, you think with slight amusement.

As you look into his eyes you see some kind of absolute honesty, almost like it’s just plain impossible to hide a falsehood behind those eyes. What he’s saying sounds like a extreme, but something in his eyes tells you that he actually isn’t kidding. You wonder how it’s possible for anyone to feel that way about you, especially after all the things you’ve done.

You don’t mind his other plan one bit though. You find yourself smiling into a third kiss as the arm around your waist tightens to hold you firmly but comfortably. This might just be the most comfortable position you've ever found yourself in. You enjoy the kiss for a good few seconds before reluctantly drawing back again to look into those captivating bright blue eyes. You aren’t entirely sure what you could say that would convince him of what you were feeling, but you can at least give it your best shot.

“I wasn’t messing with you, John,” you murmur softly, running your fingers through his short black hair. “I feel something for you that I can’t imagine to be anything other than what I’d feel for a matesprit. So I guess we are matesprits now...."

Your head comes down to rest on his shoulder, fitting easily into the hollow between his shoulder and neck. “I’d get it if you thought I was just kidding with everything that’s happened tonight, but I wasn’t. I really do care for you.” You know it might take a while to convince him that you’re serious, and even longer to convince everyone else of the same, but you’re willing to walk down that road if it means John will be with you.
 
RE: Homestuck: The Trickster and the Thief

John: Do a bit of damage control, you idiot

You take a deep, relaxing breath as Vriska's hands soothingly brush through your hair. As she confirms her feelings for you, it takes everything in your power not to just leap off the sofa and cheer at the top of your lungs. Even you know that would look pretty dorky... You thought it would take you many years before you had a proper girlfriend, what with your nerdy hobbies and tendency to prefer to talk to your online friends rather than go out. Now you had one that was more gorgeous than you could have ever hoped. The fact that she was an alien hardly mattered at all. If anything, it only made things that much more exciting.

But when she rested her head against you and tried to further convince you that she wasn't just toying with your feelings you suddenly got an uncomfortable knot in your stomach. You immediately wrap your arms around her and hold her as tightly as you can. You knew you were bound to say something wrong eventually. "No! I... I didn't mean it like that. Oh man... I'm sorry..." You reassure her in a soft tone as you let a hand gently stroke her hair. "I totally trust you, Vriska. I don't doubt you for a second. Honest. I guess I was just... Well, humans go on dates a lot for fun. Sometimes they're not looking for something more. So I thought..."

You chuckle lightly, realizing that you weren't sounding as smooth as you had been previously. "It's not important anymore. We both want to be together and that's what matters..." You say with a smile, which is mostly to yourself at this moment. You begin to wonder if her reaction had something to do with her little chat with Dave earlier. Dave was your best friend and deep beneath that blanket of irony he was someone who would go to great lengths to protect people he cared about. That probably included warning the Troll girl that messing with his good friend was a bad idea. If that was the case then you were thankful to Dave for being protective, but at the same time frustrated that she still had to deal with those who doubted her at every moment.

"Karkat will probably freak out and maybe Rose or Kanaya will be skeptical, but... I want you. Nobody else. And they're going to have to deal with it. If they can't see it by themselves then I'll help show them how fantastic you are." You add, pulling back to look into her eyes. You hope that she can see the honesty in your gaze because you truly never did want anything as much as you wanted her. There were certainly going to be some obstacles, but you'd overcome any of them to be with Vriska. You were still surprised at just how quickly she completely captured your heart, but you had no complaints whatsoever.

"Matesprits... It's not even a human thing but I like how it sounds. It just seems right... I'm really honored I can be yours..." You utter softly, your arms still wrapped around the warm Troll girl beside you. "I couldn't have asked for a better birthday. Thanks, Vriska... I'll have to remember to thank Jade, too. I wouldn't have made it here if it wasn't for her."

You can't help but lean into another kiss. In fact, you could probably spend all night kissing her without it ever losing its effect on you. It made your entire body swell with joy and excitement. The softness of her lips, the sweetness of her taste. It was all sublime. This time the meeting of the lips becomes a bit more passionate. You're no longer nervous about your kissing ability now that she has willingly initiated one herself. Your tongues dance briefly and you nearly cut yourself on one of her fangs. You don't even care if you do. It's all worth it. Especially if it makes her blush more. You're finding those rare moments of flushed cheeks from her to be quite attractive.

You eventually shift into a position where you're laying down on the sofa and you've pulled Vriska with you. After a nice long while you halt the kiss and take a few heavy breaths while holding her close. Surely she's feeling the pounding of your heart because you can feel hers. It's nice to know you can incite such a reaction out of her. "Well I'm glad if we could prove Karkat right about anything it's that Troll/Human sloppy make-outs would occur once we all met up. He's going to be soooooooo angry. I can't wait, because there's no way it won't be hilarious..."

As your hands continue to admire her long, luxurious hair, you give a contented sigh. Your eyes drift shut momentarily and you just lay there enjoying Vriska's pleasant warmth. "Could totally fall asleep like this. Quite comfortable if I do say so myself," You grin, cracking one eye open to look at her. "But I heard Trolls often rest in weird slime cocoons? I'd hate to deprive you of a proper night's rest..."
 
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