Sane BDSM (a dom's point of view) (NSFW to be safe)

[Tassu]

Subtext and reassurances

Despite what subs might think, dom(me)s and people writing dom(me)s are human. While we enjoy writing bastards and monsters, stepping into the mindset of someone undeniably evil takes its toll in the long term. This is probably a good thing. I am not sure how I would feel if I had to sit in the head of a monster day in and day out. The more you pour yourself into the character, the more the character seeps into you. While this makes for authentic characters, it can leave the person writing the dom(me) feeling a bit crummy. Good OOC communication can alleviate this issue. Sometimes the person writing the dom(me) just needs to know that the person writing the victim is actually enjoying the roleplay.

I think what I outline above is the main reason the rape to romance trope exists. People writing monsters and bastards do not want to sit in the head of someone awful all the time. They do not want to deal with the negative feelings that might arise from the repeated character interactions where the victims fight their character or try to shy away from them. I mean, this is not the only reason that particular trope is popular; there are plenty of subs who find the trope appealing. This might be because rape to romance plots can be construed as bad guy becoming good for her, a literature classic found across media written for women with penchant for darker romantic stories.

Since it's the dom(me)s that struggle with this, a sub might ask what they could do to help the person writing the lovely terrible monster. This is where 'subtext' comes into play. It is very much possible to craft a post/reply in such a manner that shows that while the character is suffering, the player is enjoying the roleplay immensely.

The following excerpts are from writers who do this very well, and I have gotten permission to use their writing as examples. What all these posts have in common is that they all take a break from showing how badly the victim is suffering to detail either the victim's body or her unwanted reaction in lavish detail. A lot of people writing submissive characters do this. I am not even sure if it's intentional all the time. However, when the writer adds cues that conveys that they are enjoying the lewd parts of the story, it reassures the person writing the rapist/monster that what they've written is both fine and desired. All you need to do is read between the lines, and you'll be reminded that your partner enjoys the roleplay, but also the beast within you.

Excerpt from one of faye's posts:

The way her husband manhandled her, her face pressed down into the seat of the car, as if she was a dog shocked Ari. As the child of Nobles she had NEVER faced corporeal punishment in her entire life. Especially not as a spoiled only- child - AND a girl. The thought that he didn't even consider talking to her, but that he simply pushed her down like that, like she was an insolent child caused her face to flush from anger and embarassment, and for a couple of moments Ari struggled bitterly against his grip, before the reality - that she was in no way a physical match for him - kicked in and caused her to still. The flush in her face deepened when she felt him brush her skirts up, baring her behind to him.

Ariadne was covered by a pair of expensive, lacey panties. The legs were cut high, the bit of red fabric, matching her wedding dress stretching over the cheeks of her ass, causing her to feel very, very revealed to his eyes, which caused her to involuntarily squirm, in the futile attempt to somehow disappear - where exactly? Into his legs? And while being pinned down like that, her ass exposed, and his calm voice threatening to beat her for her "insolence" did have Ariadne's heart race like mad, her anger still was pulsing through her body like poison, her voice dripping with sarcasm when she replied. "Of course M'Lord, how dare a mere companion like me speak up about her own fate, M'Lord? How DARE I be honest with you, M'Lord? It shall never happen again, M'LORD!"

Excerpt from one of Magnolia Noir's posts:

Taking a few steps back, Clara dropped her bra to the floor, finding it useless to even attempt to hide her body now. If he was willing to put his hands on her, which she knew he would, she didn't want to know what else he would do. The blush on her face had moved down her delicate neck and between her supple breasts. The brunette was not blessed with a voluminous breasts but their smaller size still offered a lovely view. Soft freckles stained her chest, the perky orbs were just enough to grab and beautifully decorated with pale pink, erect pebbles. Goosebumps moved down her body at the chilled air hitting her the moment the bra fell to the floor.

Excerpt from one of reverie's posts:

Another wave of fear started to wash over her when she found it difficult to breathe. Not again. "I did, I did!" she croaked. She had waited by the door for several minutes. He was the one who hadn't shown up on time. "You didn't come!" Whenever he eased his hold on her throat, she drew in as much air as she could, the inhale almost hurting her lungs. But somehow that wasn't what frightened her the most. No, it was the hard bump she felt against her ass. Professor Beaufort was fucking aroused and he didn't even try to hide it from her. He pulled her closer, his erection pressing against her butt crack. Her face flushed at the sensation, but she pretended she didn't notice, that she didn't know what it was. But she knew. It felt pretty massive too.