Not replying back, rude or not?

[SinnersSalvation]

Does this need to be interpreted as hostile?

If someone doesn't want to play with me, I usually leave the conversation and Ignore them so I won't see their RT again and be tempted to reply. I have forgotten when someone said they weren't interested, and they have been snotty about reminding me that they'd already said No months earlier. I don't want my inbox full of denials, so I leave. And with that motivation, why would I leave the conversation open to reply?

Unless someone was rude, I leave and Ignore without hostility on my side. I'm just sparing us both the awkwardness of me contacting them and sparing me the frustration of being reminded of their alluring RT every time I browse. Frankly, I'm grateful to know that it's a No and I don't keep seeing my unanswered PM for weeks, wondering if they "might reply when they have time, later".

I absolutely agree with this statement. I don't view leaving a conversation or ignoring someone as rude. It's simply a way to keep my inbox clean and prevent me from messaging that person again who clearly has no desire to RP with me. Nothing mean or offensive meant by it.

 

[Maze]

I agree. I think that is why many don't respond.

* Avoiding confrontation/abuse.
* Sometimes it really does feel ruder to respond "Sorry not interested" **
* Some people just aren't as sensitive as others and probably don't think of it as being rude or hurting anyone's feelings. I know my feelings aren't hurt if I don't get a response.

** - This conversation is occurring on another RP forum and one of the participants of the thread there actually commented that they don't understand, how someone can just know they aren't interested from an opening message alone/so quickly. Reading between the lines that tells me that some people wouldn't/couldn't be happy with a simple decline of interest and would still possibly want more explanations. I am not saying everyone but I have run into people like that.

Simply not responding avoids a lot.

Definitely. Over the years, I've had times where some have wanted more explanations on why I was not interested to the point of badgering and guilt tripping. It's not pleasant to say the least.
I think in the end, you have to do what works for you to try to avoid situations that can easily turn into a headache.

 

[SinnersSalvation]

If I'm uninterested in RPing with someone I'll tell them I'm uninterested. Sometimes there's a specific thing you can point to, and in those cases I'll tell them why. And other times it's simply just a vibe or a feeling that they're not what you're looking for, and in those cases I'll just politely tell them I'm not interested, and leave it at that. If they ask for more of an explanation I will typically not respond, or just ignore them. But at least I replied politely, and didn't just leave them hanging completely.

 

[Formless]

Don’t dwell on it. People have every right to not reply to any form of communication.

Lingering on it will only make it fester and feed into more unpleasant emotions.

Cast your interest, and move on.

 

[Light-Fox]

Addending what I wrote previously since the conversation now includes partners instead of just strangers, only people I haven't roleplayed with get black listed. Friends and partners going through tough times are the exception. While I would hope that any of my partners who drop off the face of the Earth would feel comfortable talking with me, I understand how awkward things can be. Friends are friends though, and it takes a lot to lose my friendship.

 

[obieblu]

if by some chance I have personally called you out or something

I would rather not get into something bigger than what it is.

Huh? We've never interacted to my knowledge before this thread. I can legitimately disagree with you without it being only because you hurt my feelings or something. I see a lot of online etiquette conversations coming down to one person's feelings determining what they think other people should find acceptable. I'm arguing on the side universal standards rather than individualized sentiments, paranoias, and assumptions.

I start with what is acceptable in person is how you should start online, and others decide that online interactions should be a Mad Max-ian hellscape of one deciding that everyone else deserves whatever one decides to do to them.

if someone does even in the nicest way possible, it is still met with an undesirable end case in point

But this isn't a universal. This isn't "p, therefore q". There more possible outcomes. In the 2.5 years since I attempted to restart this hobby, I can really only remember one hostile person that I turned down. Maybe there were two, but it wasn't memorable. I apply others' sentiments of "blah, blah, move on" to those.

And are there ways to avoid these encounters? I believe so. My RT is so long and thorough, I very rarely get a response that's off base. In threads where people complain about getting lots of garbage replies, I really haven't had that experience. So, if someone is wishy-washy in their RT and opens themselves up to lots of garbage replies from garbage people who get hostile, I don't feel like I deserve rude treatment because of it.

Guess what. You also don't have to read stuff. I have a severe anxiety disorder. I am getting help for it, and I actively work to keep it as in-check as possible. If it flares up when I have to send someone a disappointing message, I just don't read their reply. When someone asks you to contact them, I absolutely believe that a respondent deserves the most minimal consideration of an acknowledgement. After the poster turns them down, the solicitation for communication has ended. To continue is now rude. I'm not obligated to read their complaints or their begging. And I don't.

So, it's pretty easy for me to maintain my standards of basic decency and not expose myself to messages from people who chose to be the first to act in an antisocial way.

When everyone decides that standards don't matter, that's how to guarantee the world will only ever get worse.