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ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʟᴍ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀᴍ ` - ᴠᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴇᴄʟᴏᴜᴅ & ᴍɪɴᴄᴄɪɴᴏ

Todoroki spent the day how he normally did - class, and then fending off Mina's questions about his sex life. It'd been happening ever since she'd accidentally noticed the bruising around his neck that the collar had left, and the concern in her eyes had lead to him resting a hand over hers and saying lowly, "I asked for it." She didn't change out with him in gym, and he didn't often take his shirt off during workouts, so she hadn't noticed how banged up he was on the regular until then.

That day she'd dragged him out shopping, and since she was already on the subject, he'd made her drag him to the nearest sex shop. He'd walked back in front of it three times before deciding he wasn't, in fact, brave enough to go in. They'd gotten back before the fight, and he'd locked himself in the dorm with homework and ramen, so even the rumors didn't reach him.

He'd crawled into bed late, and although it wasn't concerning for Bakugo to not be back, he never slept right without him anymore. When he heard the door open he lifted his head from the pillow he'd wrapped himself around in lieu of a boyfriend. The only reason he'd noticed something was wrong was because he'd left a lamp on - their new set up with the futons left plenty of things to bang into on accident - and something like a stone sank in his stomach.

"What happened?" he asked, climbing out of bed, taking in the cuts and scrapes. It had been so long since that incident with the two idiots in the cafeteria, but he remembered clearly how close Bakugo had come to throwing fists. "Was it ... ?" my fault was what he wanted to say, but he stopped that line of thinking. How people reacted to who he loved wasn't his fault.
 
A part of him had been hoping Shoto had gone to bed by the time he arrived, but he supposed neither of them could really sleep soundly without the other now. Katsuki liked to think that he could, but nights without Shoto were often spent tossing and turning in bed.

He dragged a hand down his face, feeling blood smear off it from his busted lip as he did so. He knew better than to skirt around the topic. Shoto would find out anyways if he saw Midoriya looking worse for wear too. "Just... settled things with Deku," was all he could say on the matter. Even if he couldn't stand Izuku, Katsuki was loyal to their bond, and wouldn't overshare what he'd learned about him that night, not even to Shoto.

"Could you..." he turned to Shoto in the dim light, his eyes slightly red from crying, and his tone of voice not like usual. "Fix me up with some ice after a shower?" He held up his mangled forearms. He was sure he'd fractured one of them, but they were so swollen and bruised he couldn't tell. "Shit fucking hurts."
 
He felt both relief and mild annoyance at the same time. Relief, that it hadn't been something worse, some idiot catching Bakugo off guard - or a group of idiots, given how he looked. There weren't many people who could take him one on one. Annoyance, that of course he'd gotten himself banged up over Midoriya. He knew they'd known each other since they were children - it was why Midoriya got away with calling him Kacchan. He wondered if it'd always been like this.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Katsuki's tone stopped him. He'd never heard it before, or anything even quite like it. "Yeah," he said instead, and moved forward to help peal his boyfriends shirt off of him. It was slow going, having to pry cotton free of fresh wounds, and he used his right hand if he had to touch skin, hoping the cool of it would help ease the sting. Only once he got him completely undressed did he nudge him towards the bathroom, not saying a word but wearing an expression that didn't leave room for arguments as he helped him step into the tub and turned the water on cool.

He didn't let any of it hit Katsuki's body directly, but instead focused on softer streams of water to wash away soot and dirt and excess blood. He cleaned out the cuts and ran his right hand gently over bruises that he hadn't put there. He'd added a healer class to his coursework ever since Katsuki's sidekick talk, he hadn't expected it to come in use so early.
 
Naturally, he wasn't used to someone else nursing his wounds. He'd always licked his own by himself, even when he found himself in compromising situations like when he'd been captured by that sludge villain, or even the whole League of Villains themselves... he'd always toughed it out alone. He still wouldn't accept help from anyone else but allowing Shoto to see him, all of him, was easier. He almost needed it, to know somebody was in his corner when Midoriya had fucking All Might in his.

Jealousy, frustration, and just red-hot anger coursed through him but it was as if Katsuki had turned off the switch on his feelings and was just numbed to everything. He noticed the way Shoto washed his wounds with care, finding it a strange time to fall deeper in love with the other male, but it was happening anyway.

"I beat him," he mumbled, flexing his fingers in front of his face as if he wanted to test that they weren't broken too. "Not that it was any competition."
 
He expected Katsuki to fight him, and felt another wave of relief when he didn't. He washed his hair for him, the only part of his body that wasn't fucked up enough to not get any soap, but was careful when washing it off so nothing stung. He watched his boyfriend closely for any sign of an outburst, but he'd either worn himself out, or he'd entered some stage passed anger. He wasn't sure.

He noticed the redness of Katsuki's eyes but didn't mention it. He hummed quietly at the other mans words and pulled him from the tub before fetching a towel and taking care to dry him off, before leading him to their tiny dining area and letting him sit. Not any competition. It was always a competition.

He fetched the ice and the first aid kit from under their sink. Every dorm came with a fairly well packed one, given that quirks could cause accidents, but he had a feeling he'd need to refill it after tonight. He pulled the extra chair over and sat the box and ice on the table before he picked up the antiseptic to apply, starting with Katsuki's face. He used one hand under his chin to tilt his boyfriend where he needed him and brushed his hair out of his face.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked softly as he got to work.
 
Katsuki was surprisingly obedient as he was dragged from one place to the next, feeling like he'd gotten the fight literally beaten out of him. He was here with Shoto but a part of him was still stuck in a looped memory back with All Might and Midoriya, where he'd begged All Might to notice him, too. To train him, too. Even now, he kept thinking it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Midoriya was given all that groundwork and doted on by his hero, all for being some pitiful, Quirkless bastard.

He unknowingly sniffed in the middle of Shoto treating him, wincing and pulling his face from the antiseptic he was applying to his busted lip. "Fuck, that hurts," he whined. Any other time, to anyone else, he would have toughed through the pain, but in front of Shoto, he was more vulnerable, even if it was just expressing something so trivial as pain.

"I started it," he mumbled. "It pissed me off, seeing him get better and better so quick, and that damn nerd acting like I needed saving all the time." He wasn't even mad at Midoriya anymore. He was just... frustrated and feeling a bit like a sore loser even though he'd won. Even after he'd proven himself the better fighter, the better... well, everything, All Might had chosen that wimp over him to mentor. It was a big "fuck you" to Bakugo's ego.

"Do you think he is?" Katsuki asked after a pregnant pause. "Better than me."
 
"Sorry," Shoto whispered when Katsuki hissed, and leaned in to brush a kiss against his forehead. He couldn't stop though, so he kept working, pausing here and there for other soft kisses. He waited, quiet, just listening. He wasn't surprised Katsuki started it, he seemed to start most fights with Midoriya.

He finishes up with Katsuki's face before he starts on his arms, and rolls the question in his mind for a moment. "No," he says honestly. "I don't. He's very, very good, and very, very stubborn-" like someone else I know "but I also think he has a quirk he doesn't fully understand, and a determination that could get him killed one day."

He still remembered asking Midoriya if he was All Might's love child, and even after it'd been denied, he wondered sometimes. Because there were just too many similarities between their quirks for it to be coincidence.

"You have better control," he said, pressing his next kiss to Katsuki's palm to make his point. "And you're the better fighter." Midoriya was a better strategist, though, and better with the public. He thought about what he was going to say for a moment as he wrapped the wounds that wouldn't stop bleeding. "If you could put your pride aside, you'd make one hell of a team," he said, softly. "If not, I think you'll both always be fighting each other for number one."

He'd never understood the appeal himself, besides wanting to spite his father. Being in the top five of pro heros was where he'd prefer to be, but the spot of number one was just a status symbol - or, as All Might preferred, the symbol of peace. His father had spent his whole life trying to take his place and for what? Did it make him a better hero? No. It just stroked his ego and gave him a shiny gold star.

But he knew for Katsuki and Midoriya it was different. It was pride and proving themselves and wanting to be the best because they were genuinely good people, who wanted to be heros for the right reason.
 
"Tch," Katsuki mumbled. "He'd piss me off too much for us to be a team." He couldn't even breathe the same air as Midoriya before he had something to say about him. But deep inside, he knew that a part of him cared about Deku, a part that could look past their rivalry and focus on all the time they'd spent together growing up. That was probably why he even bothered to give Deku pointers when he caught the nerd slipping up in combat.

Even though Shoto had answered him truthfully he was still unconvinced. Everyone seemed to like Midoriya better. Thought he was so fucking cool because of his new Quirk and how he seemed to be All Might's favorite. All Bakugo was known for were his temper tantrums and the fact he'd gotten kidnapped twice by villains. But... fuck did he want Shoto on his side. "Besides," he said. "You're supposed to be on my team."

He winced again as Shoto treated another open cut somewhere else on his body. He was covered in injuries, there being too many to count, but most of the pain faded into the background with the few kisses he got here and there for being good.

"Ow!" he barked, except it sounded more like a fussy baby's whining when Shoto wrapped his arm too tight.
 
"I'm always on your team," Shoto said, as if it was just a fact. The sky was blue, he was on Katsuki's side. "Midoriya is my friend, yes, but I will always choose you."



He held up his hands in when his boyfriend barked at him and gave him a look when he realized nothing was messed up. He loosened the wrapping though, and followed up with ice. He used his right hand to check for fractures or breaks, but it seemed okay, and gave Katsuki a break for a real kiss.



"Speed doesn't win the race," he said. "Just because Midoriya is improving faster doesn't mean he's better. In terms of just control, he's still behind you. Don't forget that it wasn't that long ago he was still breaking his own bones just to cause a little damage. You've got to stop letting him get under your skin, you're going to trip on him. Slow and steady."
 
Even if it might have been childish, Katsuki appreciated Shoto telling him that he was on his side. Confirming it. It soothed the sore of not being All Might's favorite, even if he was already working past that in a productive way and trying to turn it into a competition to surpass his idol now.

Once he was all patched up, his forearms wrapped in makeshift splints and bandages, he treated himself to a kiss, and muttered a soft "thanks" under his breath. If Midoriya had Uraraka for this, then... he had Shoto, and that was more than enough.

"You don't get it," he huffed. "That little nerd was..." He stopped himself from outing his secret, that Midoriya had just been a Quirkless nobody before All Might had come along and boosted him to shit with One-For-All. "Seems like it's not enough. Just... doing all this shit by myself." He didn't have a doting instructor to mentor him every step of the way. He didn't have a powerful Quirk that would just get more powerful with time. He had to do everything by himself, and he hated how Deku got fucking hand-outs, and all because he liked sticking his nose in other people's businesses.

He knew deep down Shoto was right. He was mad about that, too, but he couldn't bring himself to tell his boyfriend that he didn't need his advice. Instead, he managed a small grin and poked Shoto's forehead. "See, this is why you'll be my sidekick."
 
"I know I don't get it," Shoto admitted as he finished up and started doing a checklist of what they would need to replace. His handiwork wouldn't keep Bakugo from pain, but it would keep him from making it any worse, or from getting infected. "But you're not by yourself. If you'd let us, plenty of people would be happy to help. I know it's not the same as All Might, but it's not nothing."



Himself. Kirishima. Kaminari. Mina. Even Midoriya himself. Bakugo had promise, they all knew he'd be at the top. He leaned in and kissed his boyfriends forehead again, and hesitated there for a moment. "You scared me," he admitted softly. "I thought it had been something ... serious."
 
Even though he knew Shoto's advice was coming from a good place, he didn't see the need in friends. The closest he had to that was Kirishima and he couldn't even talk about these loaded subjects with such frankness. He was right that it was nothing like All Might but Katsuki still considered Shoto to be more important to him than All Might, who had always steered his ambitions and motives from childhood.

Maybe the fight with Deku didn't hurt so much anymore because being the number one hero or even surpassing All Might weren't his only dreams now. He had a future planned out with Shoto that even Deku couldn't take from him.

He lifted a brow at Shoto's concern. "Like what?" he snorted softly.
 
"Nothing," Todoroki deflected. "Just tired, I guess."



He cleaned up the mess he'd made and rubbed his eyes before fetching his boyfriend some pain killers and a glass of water, telling him to take them so he wouldn't stay awake all night focused on the pain. With any luck he could get in to see Recovery Girl in the morning.



"C'mon, let's get some sleep," he mumbled, taking Bakugo's hand and tugging him towards the futons. He was surprised he'd talked so much, offered up his opinion so freely. He supposed he was growing in his own ways.
 
Katsuki fell uncharacteristically silent for a moment, realizing he'd probably been selfish and hadn't really taken into consideration that his boyfriend had gotten out of bed to do all of this for him. He'd just taken it for granted, too absorbed in his own feelings to take a moment to really thank him.

He rolled into the futons easily, the soft sheets and the smell of Todoroki on the pillows comforting to him. Still, he groaned from the pain since the painkillers hadn't kicked in yet.

"Sorry," he mumbled, not used to apologizing, and it showed on his face that he was making him uncomfortable to do so. "And thanks. I know it's not fucking easy being my boyfriend." But he couldn't think of anyone else better suited for the daunting task. He rolled onto his back, his arm hurting too much to stay on his side even though he usually did to face Shoto.
 
He thought he'd almost imagined it when Katsuki apologized, and he did a bit of a double take as he was getting comfortable, not fully understanding why. He blinked at the statement and laid down next to him, cuddling as close as he dared.



"I'm no walk in the park either," he mumbled. He was aloof to the point of coldness at times, and evidently a bit of a mental wreck, but Katsuki took it all in stride. At least this time around. "I love you," he added, because it felt like the kind of night where it needed to be said.
 
It really was one of those nights, because as soon as he heard those words, his eyes prickled and his chest felt hot, a little too hot for comfort. He squeezed his eyes shut and stopped breathing for a second so that chest-burning sob wouldn't push through, but it did, and he tried to play it off as a cough. Katsuki pressed his injured arm to his face and wiped the tears.

He didn't know why he was crying, or why those words had broken a fucking dam inside him to cue the waterworks so quick, but he was falling apart. "I..." he huffed. "I love... I love y-you, too."

"Fuck," he took a deep breath to calm his nerves, almost like he wasn't used to crying and didn't know how to deal with it, even though he'd just sobbed in front of Deku and All Might a few hours ago. This was different, though.
 
He'd known Katsuki had been crying before, he could tell, but he hadn't asked if it'd been from pain or anger and now he wondered if it had been from something else all together.



He pushed himself up on his elbows and reaches out, gently pulling Bakugo's arm from his eyes and resting his own hand on his boyfriends cheek, the one that had the least injuries.



He wanted to ask. What's wrong or what can I do or maybe a combination of both. He wasn't good at figuring out his own feelings half the time, and this kind of cry, this was something else.



So instead he just sits there, holding Katsuki's face because his body is too battered for him to hold him right, and says softly, "I'm here, love. I'm here."
 
He hated how that hand to his cheek unraveled everything, like all Shoto had to do was touch him to pull all of his pain and anger out of him. He bit the inside of his lower lip so hard that he felt it might bleed, stifling his sobs that just pushed and pushed against him until he couldn't hold them back.

He didn't know if he was crying because he was still frustrated about All Might and Deku, or if these tears were something entirely different. Like the kind of relief that had washed over him when Shoto had told him he was on his side. That somebody actually gave a shit about him, his strength, and even his weaknesses.

Katsuki was too injured to sit up, so he pressed close to Shoto's lap instead, crowding his head onto it and licking his wounds there, staining whatever pants or underwear Shoto was wearing with his tears. This was all he'd wanted. For someone to just... see that he was weak, that sometimes he just needed to be held, or guided, or loved. He didn't need saving, but damn could he use a gentle hand to reassure him that it was okay to cry.
 
Shoto didn't say a word. He'd learned a long time ago that words could do more harm that good, and in relation to actions, they really meant nothing.



He'd never seen Katsuki cry before, never seen him anything other that the strong emotions on the other side of the spectrum and the occasional calm he fell into when he was exhausted. It both worried him and somehow relieved him, because if the boy was going to cry, he was glad that it was with him. That he could hold him close and run his fingers through his hair and hopefully whatever burden was on Katsuki's shoulders, he could help carry.



When he did speak, it wasn't loud enough to be understood, probably wasn't even coherent, just low comforting whispers and promises and occasional reminders of love. He'd hold him until he stopped, or until he wore himself out and fell asleep, or all through the night if he needed to.



Because he did love him. He did want to build a future with him. And every time something like this happened - something they didn't expect, a little scary and new, he felt it a little more. Katsuki trusted him, and Shoto wasn't going to take that for granted.
 
He didn't cry as freely as he wanted to, mostly biting down on his sobs to stifle them for fear of Shoto seeing him as some wimp, but the fact was that he'd shown it at all. Katsuki's tears were rare, so rare that even he couldn't recall when the last time he'd cried was.

So when his muffled sobs became slow hiccups, Katsuki rubbed his eyes and buried his face into Shoto's stomach, the only place of comfort he felt could hide him away. He was embarrassed after the fact, afraid he'd look up and see that Shoto would be looking down on him like some pitiful animal that needed help.

But he found love instead, a gentle gaze that told him Shoto was just there. He pulled him closer by his waist and finally silenced himself to soft sniffles here and there.

"Don't leave," he huffed softly.
 
For the first time, he really understood how much he'd fucked up when he'd broken them up. They'd been a mess, lashing out at each other, burying themselves in their insecurities. Too young and too broken to care for themselves, much less someone else. But ... he'd been so wrong, in everything he'd thought he was so sure about.



He leaned down enough that he could drop a kiss against his boyfriends head. The angle was weird and he couldn't stay, but he thought he got his point across anyway.



"I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "Not this time. Even if you wanted to get rid of me, I'd just hold on and make it hell for you until you gave up and accepted your fate."
 
Even if Shoto was telling him that, there was always a part of him that feared people wouldn't keep their promises. Sometimes, he was just too much to handle. He got triggered way too easily and made the people around him walk on thin fucking ice all the time. His relationship with Shoto now was far from perfect, so what was to say that it wouldn't just get worse with time?

Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut to banish the pessimistic thoughts from his head. Sluggishly, he sat up, leaning towards Shoto to press their lips into a kiss. He held the nape of his boyfriend's neck to savor the kiss a bit longer. Maybe it was his own way of treating himself to a prize for winning that duel with Deku.

"I don't even have to be fucking number one," he sighed. "I just... I just want you."
 
It wasn't that Todoroki didn't have his own fears, because he did. He worried that the panic attacks would get worse and they would start becoming annoying. He worried that he'd get too needy. He worried that he'd get in the way of Bakugo's dreams. But the person he'd started becoming after deciding he could live for himself and not just to spite his father put those thoughts aside. Instead, he just focused on loving the boy in his lap, making good grades, making friends. That was what mattered to him.



He kissed Katsuki back, softer than they normally did, more emotion and less desire. He was tired, and he was sure his boyfriend was too, but he didn't think that was the reason this kiss was different.



"Well lucky for you, you already have me," he said, rubbing his hand through Katsuki's hair. He wasn't sure he believed him, about not having to be number one, but the idea was nice. "Feel better?" After a good fight and a good cry.
 
Maybe he didn't fully mean that. He'd still be duking it out with Deku for the spot, no matter what, but he had other priorities now. If there ever would be a moment he'd have to pick between his future with Shoto and just being that celebrated, decorated number one hero, he'd choose the former.

Katsuki felt a little sheepish and embarrassed when Shoto asked him if he was feeling better, but he nodded. Even physically he felt better, like he wasn't in constant pain anymore.

He lied back onto the futon, gently patting the spot next to him. He sniffed, and wondered if Shoto was tired. If he just wanted to go to sleep after this, but he asked anyway, since he genuinely wanted to know. "What... did you do today?"
 
Shoto stared at him for a moment. Katsuki had asked him things about his day before, but never quite like that. Never so 'hi honey, I'm home, how was your day'. He lied down too, right where Katsuki patted for him, and cuddled up close again.



He yawned, because he was tired, but he hadn't seen his boyfriend all day and at this point it was late enough that he'd rather just talk to him then attempt to brush him off and sleep.



"The usual, then I went to the mall with Mina." He almost left it at that, but with a soft huff of a laugh at himself he added, "I tried to go into a sex shop but I couldn't do it."
 
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