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A father's Enduring love

Shilo looked deathly pale as she quickly swallowed the medicine offered to her, drowning out the taste in coffee, which she didn't care much for to begin with. Her blood gradually settled in her veins and she began to breath easier, but the paleness of her face and the clamminess of her skin refused to go away. "He left because...." She trailed off, clinging to her father's form as a series of sobs wracked her small frame. Her hands went to Nathan's shoulders, clinging desperately to his form. He was the only thing holding her up at one point when her knees gave out. "I hate him...I...I hate him so much."
 
Nathan was glad he'd gotten the medicine in time; he couldn't handle seeing her passed out again. He kept her close to his body, his hand running gently over Shilo's cheek. His entire being ached for her as she sobbed against him. His arms wrapped tightly around her, protectively, as his chin moved to the top of her head. "I know," he said softly, "I know." His hand ran over her back for a while before her knees gave out. He leaned down, slipping one arm behind her knees, the other behind her back as he picked her up. His eyes stayed on her face for a moment before he pressed a kiss to her forehead before he walked upstairs with her in his arms.
 
Shilo's tiny form continued to be wracked with fierce sobs. Graverobber had left her like this...without the decency of even warning her of her condition. Worse. Her father knew now. How could she even face him? One month out of her father's house and she had returned pregnant. She didn't see how it was possible for her body, as sick as she was with her blood disease, couldfind the spare energy to nurture a....a baby. Maybe that was why she was so much more sick this last week. She was aware of being carried in her father's arms, but not much else passed through her mind. "Please...let me stay in your room tonight." She didn't want to be in her own bedroom and she didn't want to be away from Nathan. "Oh god!" Shilo placed a hand over her mouth suddenly, fearing she was going ot be sick. "I shot up with Zydrate..." She was a terrible mother already. She hadn't know....nor could she know if that would have any affect on the fetus
 
Nathan remained quiet as Shilo sobbed, figuring it was best to let her deal with it without him trying to bombard her with questions. "Of course," he said, changing course. He headed down the hall to his room, pushing the door open with his foot. When she spoke again, his eyes settled on her face; he hadn't even thought of that. He knew that the small doses of it that he gave her in her medicine wasn't enough to hurt the baby, but she had taken an entire vial. "It'll be okay," he promised as he set her down on the bed, his hand moving gently across her cheek. "It was a one time thing, I don't think it'll cause any issues." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, fighting back the nausea that had settled in his stomach. He wanted to know what she was feeling, what was going through her mind, but he knew he couldn't press her for anything; he had to step back and give her the time and space she needed to come to terms with this. "I'll leave you alone for a while," he said, turning towards the door, figuring she'd want privacy to cry or smash things or something.
 
Shilo wasn't sure if she was relieved by her father's words or not. Her mind was in turmoil, struggling to accept this strange new condition. "Can...can I get tested?" She asked meekly as he lowered her onto his bed. A blood test. A pregnancy test. Anything. Not that she really believed it would come out negative. She sat on the bed with her legs crossed Indian style, her head lowered so that the long raven black hair of her wig hid her face. Her hand grabbed his wrist when he tried to leave. "Dad...what should I do?" She whispered in a little girl voice, looking very lost at the moment. She had wanted to be an adult, but...but this was too much. Now she only wanted to be a little girl again. "I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do..."
 
"Of course you can," he said to her request. He hoped, though he knew it was a long shot, that it would come back negative, that they'd say it was just an infection or something. But he could feel, deep down in his bones, that she was pregnant. When Shilo grabbed his wrist, Nathan looked over his shoulder at her. He felt as if his entire being was being ripped in half when he saw how lost she looked. He sat down beside her, pulling her to his body, his legs resting on either side of her. His arms wrapped tightly around her as he tried to figure out what to say. "I can't tell you what to do," he said gently, "this is a choice you have to make. But I will support you, no matter what." He pulled away a little, his hand gently turning her head so she was looking at him. "I love you so much, Shi," he said before pressing his lips gently to hers.
 
Shilo felt as if the weight of the world had come crashing down ontop of her. Her dreams, what tattered remains were left over from Graverobber's shredding of her world, were shattered. She didn't know how to be a mother. She barely knew how to be a lover. She curled her arms around herself, rocking back and forth for a few moments before leaning against her father. Her face fell as he offered no advice. She was on her own here. "I don't know." There was a good chance that since Marni had passed down the blood disease to Shilo, she could pass this curse onto her baby as well. She didn't want that....but it was a likely outcome. Not to mention her own mother had passed away giving birth to her. Shilo didn't want to die either. "I never thought of being a mother....because of the blood disease. Would I die, like mother?" She whispered against his lips, hating to bring up Marni because she could see how it tore her father up inside to remember her. "You said she wasn't well when she was pregnant with me."
 
Nathan's entire body went still when Shilo mentioned Marni, even his heart stopping for a beat. His hand dropped from her cheek as he tried to figure out how to explain all of this without telling her he'd basically been poisoning her since she was little. "I," he paused, eyes glancing towards a framed picture of Marni that hung on his wall. He let out a breath, his hand moving to the back of his neck as his mind raced. He feared that, if he told Shilo the truth, she would run again. Part of him wanted to believe that the pregnancy and the night they had shared would keep her here, but he could never be certain. "There's no way to tell," he said. "Your mother didn't get very ill until a few days before you were born. Maybe, since you're only a few weeks along, I could figure out a way to..." He trailed off as memories tore at his thoughts, his eyes closing as he tried to swallow the emotion stuck in his throat. "I'm not sure," he said after a moment, his voice ragged as he tried not to relive the pain of Shilo's birth.
 
Shilo felt him tense against her and she could almost hear the knife twisting into his heart. This was why she didn't bring up her mother very often. She knew how it had devastated her father when Marni had died. She didn't even know the whole truth behind it. All she knew was that her mother had died giving birth to her. She had never questioned for the exact details. "Dad..." Her arms went around his neck, crawling onto his lap and pressing her forehead to his so that he knew she was close. She shouldn't have asked, the pain in his eyes was evidence enough. She forgot her own confusion and pain in favor of comforting her father. "I don't have the heart to get rid of it...." She whispered as she realized the guilt which would come with having an abortion. She couldn't do that, she couldn't kill something so small and innocent. It wasn't the baby's fault that she'd made a stupid decision. "Unless I get very sick..."
 
Nathan's arms instinctively went around his daughter's form as she crawled into his lap. He loved Shilo with every bit of his being, but there was a small part that wishes he would've saved Marni instead. He cursed that part of himself, hated it so much that it nearly consumed him a few years ago. As he opened his eyes to the seventeen year old sitting in his lap, trying to comfort him, he could feel that self-hatred bubbling inside of himself again. He lost the woman of his dreams, but Shilo was so very close to filling Marni's shadow. He nodded to what she said, his hand moving to rub her arm gently. "Whatever you think is best, Shi," he said softly. He pressed a kiss to her lips, trying to push the unhappy thoughts from his mind.
 
Shilo laid her head on her father's shoulder, pressing her tiny(and still trembling) form against his own. She kept shifting on his lap to get comfortable, which was nearly impossible to do when he breasts had suddenly decided to become very tender. Even the lace of her dress and bra felt harsh against her sore nipples. Within a few moments Shilo pulled her dress off and unhooked her bra, sighing in relief as the tenderness subsided slightly. She didn't seem uncomfortable to be half naked infron of Nathan, if anything this provoked her to kiss him, swiping her tongue against his lower lip in and effort to distract him. She placed her hand against her stomach, feeling the flatness of her skin there. She didn't feel any different there. Odd. There was a life growing inside of her....
 
Nathan watched as Shilo undressed herself, his eyes taking in the sight of her pale flesh. He could feel his cock hardening again as she kissed him, his eyes falling closed as his lips parted. He ran the tip of his tongue along hers for a moment, his fingertips running lightly along her neck. As he pulled away from the kiss he saw her hand against her stomach, so he placed his hand on top of hers in an attempt to comfort her. "How are you feeling?" he asked, his thumb rubbing along hers. "Do you feel up to eating anything?"
 
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