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Colder than the Snow ((me and Houdini))

He stared back into her cold, determined eyes, trying to put on a front of determination himself. He walked over to her seat, and grabbed her shoulders, hissing "stand up", as he helped her to her feet. He pushed her up against the wall of the room, still using her shoulders as handles. He placed his face up in front of hers, whispering, "It will be futile to resist us. You will only cause yourself needless pain, and we will end up with what we want in the end anyway."

As he gave her his best look of disgust, he walked away, leaving her standing back to the wall, hands still restrained behind her back. He looked back up at her, ordering his sergeant, "Take her to the medical wing for an examination, and have her processed and given a prison uniform. It seems like she is determined to stay for a while."

The purpose of the medical exam, was, of course to humiliate the prisoners. Although it would be administered by a female doctor in Senka's case, the prisoner was always made to strip naked and stand in the center of the examination room, and poked and prodded all over, and made to parade around the room. In addition, taking away a prisoner's military uniform served to remind them they were no longer in the active ranks, but only a prisoner, a number. Josef didn't want to order this to Senka, but it was the standard protocol. When no one else was looking, he tried to show her a reassuring look.
 
Senka felt him pull her to her feet and push her against the wall. She heard his his whispers. She could not tell if this was the man who had come to her cell the night before, or the hardened interrogator. Nevertheless she would not give him anything.

She glared at his as he order his soldiers to take her away. No sooner had the words come out she was being dragged out of the room to what looked like some sort or medical building. She glared angrilly as she was made to walk forward. They took her inside the building where a doctor was already waiting.
 
Josef left the interrogation room and went to the mess hall for lunch with most of the other soldiers. He sat as usual at a table with many high ranking Nazi officials, unusually quiet today, not sharing in their jokes. He tried not to bring to mind the ordeals that he knew Senka was undergoing at the same moment. He wondered for the first time how his fellowmen could joke around a fancy lunch table while people like Senka were being treated as subhumans. He returned to his office after lunch, but was unable to concentrate much.

He resolved that he would need to see Senka alone again tonight to explain himself. He wondered if she would accept the fact that he only behaved as he did today out of fear for his own safety?
 
Senka was left alone in the room with the female doctor. Because Senka would not strip her self, the frustrated doctor did it her self, muttering curses as her as she did. Then she proceeded to humiliate her. However Senka gave no response to her minstrastions as she touched and poked at her body as if she was some sort of zoo animal. She kept her face blank. Eventually the doctors frustration escalated becouse she could not get to her. Soon she waved her away and she was dressed in the prison uniform before being pushed back inside her cell. Senka knew if they saw the ring she wore around her neck, they would take it from her, so she had hidden it by knotting it in her hair before the examination when they head put her in a room alone to strip for her self.

Once she was alone again she quickly put it back around her neck, hiding it underneath her uniform. The uniform had no neck line, it just sat a little above her neck, so they would never find it, unless they took her off guard and ripped away her top. she sighed and held onto it for comfort.
 
The rest of the afternoon and evening passed slowly for Josef. As a senior official, he had a small cabin type building to himself on the base. He didn't go back to the mess hall for dinner, but cooked some ham and vegetables on his small cooktop, but held off from eating anything. He was preparing to take quite a risk this evening, more than any he had taken before. Once darkness had fallen, he went back to the prison building, telling the head warden that he may be removing one of the prisoners temporarily. "For a special project", he told the burly guard.

He heard his own footsteps echoing down the hallway as he walked past the cells to the end. He cleared his throat as he stood in front of Senka's small cage. "Hello" he said quietly.
 
Senka was still sitting on her bench, holding the ring in her hand when she heard foot steps. Once again she hit it away. She sighed to her self as they steps stopped once more infront of her cell. She turned her head to looked at him. "Hello" she said returning his brief greeting. She looked at him and said "What now?" she asked him.
 
"I hope you know, Senka, that my actions earlier today were only out of fear for my own safety. I hope you were not treated too harshly today.", he empathized.

"But what was that you just had in your hand?", he asked curiously.
 
Senka looked at him and said "So you are a coward then. You fear your own duty" she said to him. She looked down before she heard his next question. She looked away and said "It is not for your eyes" she said quietly.
 
"Yes, I realize that my choices could be subject to such criticism." He looked at her for a moment, much less imposing in her plain blue prison garb. Yet her eyes and presence were still fierce. He wondered what she hid so quickly from him.

"I was hoping I could try to make it up to you. Would you like to come to my barracks to talk some more? I cooked a meal for you."
 
Senka looked at him. She stood up and she walked to the bars that held here caged like a beast and said "Do I have a choice?" she asked him. She looked at him and said "Why would you want to make it up to me, why do you care?" she asked him. "Is it not your duty to torture me?" she asked him.
 
He locked into her stare, her eyes only inches from his. He knew that if he played by the rules, he could torture her for years and she would never say anything. But that was not what he wanted for her.

"You do have a choice, you can stay here if you like. But I am offering to risk a great deal to try to make this up to you. Perhaps to show you I am willing to go against the rules. I am not sure I want this duty that has been entrusted to me any longer." He sighed and kept his eyes locked with hers.
 
Senka looked at him and said "You didn't answer my question. Why? You seemed content before to torture me for information, as you would have done many others, what is it about me that has changed you?" she asked him. For now, it seemed like she was the one doing the interrogating.
 
He looked back at her, his instinct as an interrogator almost kicking in and rebuffing her quickly - after all, an interrogation must never reveal anything personal about himself.

"Do you think we are all so inhuman as to not be able to be moved by your story?", he asked. When I first laid eyes on you, I knew there was something that made you so cold, so disconnected, that you could not have been that way. I knew something happened, and that is why I came to see you yesterday."

His voice shook as he added: "You know, I can't bear to continue to harm you, when what happened to you was so similar to my own experience. I had a young and beautiful wife, only twenty years old. And three years ago, while I was overseas on assignment, she was killed in a British bombing raid. It's like having a part of you torn out." He stopped before any more emotion could overcome him.
 
Senka looked at him. She listened quietly as he spoke. She looked at him when he stopped and she said "Then you know how it feels...the hatred at first, you just want to kill someone.... anyone...anyone wore bore the same mark, and then you become devoid of emotion becouse you think that, if you can feel nothing, you won't have to feel that pain again" she said looking at him.

"But when you find some one who has shared the same experience, it's different, you relate with them you sympathize with them, and then you start to feel, all over again" she said looking at him.
 
"Yes, Senka, like you, my experience has transformed the person I once was into who I am today." He sighed and looked through the grates of her prison cell at her. "I became a cold-hearted tormentor, because my experience made me devoid of any normal human emotion"

He paused for a moment before continuing, "But when I heard your story, it made me remember the person I was those three years ago, before my life was forever altered. And I wan't to be that person again, even though I know how unlikely that hope is."
 
Senka looked at him and said "I bet your superiors would have something to say about your new resolve" she said looking at him. "How do you plan to leave this life?" she asked him. She looked into his eyes. She could see truth in them, he wasn't lying to her.
 
Josef thought that he noticed a softening of her countenance for the first time during the present conversation. "My superiors would most certainly have something to say and something to do about what I'm telling you. I'm taking a big risk by even talking to you about this. Like I said, why don't we go back to my barracks and talk some more."

He looked at her, feeling he could trust her to leave the cell with him, and not attack him or try to flee immediately, but he was not completely sure. She was, after all, known as a fearsome soldier. But he was willing to go out on a limb. "You have to give me your word, though, on your love for your fiancee, that if I trust you enough to take this risk, you won't try any surprises against me."
 
Senka looked at him. He may trust her, but could she trust her self not to try and run at the first opportunity? But then again, even if she did, she wouldn't get far. She looked at him and said "I won't try anything, I won't get far anyway, there's no point" she said looking at him.
 
"OK, well, I'm not sure why, but I trust you, Senka." He swung open the door and invited her out. She appeared a bit weakened by the lack of nutrition. He led her through the cold, windy night across the camp, with his hand tightly gripping her elbow. He gave the head warden a nod of agreement as they passed him. Once they were out of earshot, he whispered to Senka "I apologize for leading you around so roughly, but the warden doesn't know you are coming with me of your own free will."

As they entered his home, the smell of a home cooked meal wafted out the door into the frigid night. "Sit down, make yourself comfortable", he invited her.
 
Senka looked at him as and glared angrilly to put up at act as he lead her out. The hand on her arm holding her tightly. She heard him whisper and she whispered back "I know".

Once they were inside she looked around and said "All right" she said looking around the place, just getting used to the place.
 
"I took the liberty of cooking a meal for you", he told her. "I know under normal circumstances, breaking bread with someone like me would not be your idea of an ideal evening. But I hope you will find it preferable to your cell, at least." He poured two glasses of wine and handed one to her. "The food got a bit cold, it will take a while to warm back up in the oven." Perhaps you will allow me to sit and talk with you in the meantime."
 
Senka looked at him and she nodded when he said he had cooked a meal for her. She watched as poured her a drink and held it out to her. She took it and said "All right" she said. She found a chair so she sat down and looked at him. "Wat did you want to talk about?" she asked him.
 
"Well.. and this is difficult to talk about, but like I was saying, I have felt more and more these last couple of days that I don't want this life anymore. But there is no easy or formal way out. If I go to the commander tomorrow and say I want out, they will kill me on the spot, even with my high rank."

He got up and paced around for a minute, checking on the oven. "I have come to the realization that I must simply leave- escape if you will. But that is why I wanted to talk with you. You are the one who allowed me to search within myself. If I leave, you will be left to the hands of tormentors far worse than I. You will be tortured, raped, and perhaps killed in the end. I could not escape alone and allow a kindred spirit to suffer so."

He looked at her to see if she was comprehending what he was getting at. He found it difficult to actually ask her to escape with him, but wanted her to want it too.
 
Senka looked at him and said "Are you saying that...you want my help? You want to escape with me?" she asked him. Se was a little shocked at the turned of event she was now faced with. She looked at him and she took a drink of the wine for a moment and thought. If they could escape, how would they go about doing so?

She looked at him and said "You cannot run to the Russians with me, the second they saw you dressed in that uniform they would kill you on the spot" she said. She sighed and said "Unless you surrendered...and gave them everything you knew..." she said. She sighed and said "You don't want to be that much of traitor I suppose" she said thinking.
 
"You are correct", he agreed. "I don't want to be a traitor. What I am suggesting would not be the ideal situation for either of us. But maybe it would be an improvement on our current situations."

He went over to the oven and took out what he had prepared, placing some bread on each plate along with the meat and vegetables. "I would only do it if you promise me you wouldn't return to your people, at least until after we make it to somewhere safe where I can break off myself. With both of our skills and training, I think we would stand a good chance to make it through the countryside safely, maybe to a quiet village in Switzerland. But there would need to be two of us. There are soldiers everywhere. One of us alone would surely be captured while we slept."
 
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