Not replying back, rude or not?

[Chapman]

My point is that it CAN hurt people’s mental health to have to force themselves to reply to someone they don’t enjoy speaking to. It doesn’t hurt YOURS, nor should it, but it absolutely can and has hurt theirs if they feel “forced” to reply. I and others have had people blow up on them for dropping. A friend had someone follow her from RP site to RP site until she had to change a username she’s used for 10 years. People have their reasons. And if to reply is going to harm them, I fully believe they should have the right to not do so.

Soooo, let me get this straight:

- not forcing myself to write two lines of explanation to someone one does not like is good,
- me expecting a cursory explanation from others so that I understand the situation I am in is bad,

That's it? It feels like a petty attempt at excusing oneself from ghosting people.

All I expect from people is a small bit of decency. I have never* given anyone reasons to be afraid of contacting me.

*okay, I have, just once, been toxic to my partner. I was younger and dumber. Still, one time is no excuse for dozens of people who have no way of knowing about it

 

[Solo]

Soooo, let me get this straight:

- not forcing myself to write two lines of explanation to someone one does not like is good,
- me expecting a cursory explanation from others so that I understand the situation I am in is bad,

That's it? It feels like a petty attempt at excusing oneself from ghosting people.

All I expect from people is a small bit of decency. I have never* given anyone reasons to be afraid of contacting me.

*okay, I have, just once, been toxic to my partner. I was younger and dumber. Still, one time is no excuse for dozens of people who have no way of knowing about it

but they may have had other people who have made them be afraid of replying, especially if it’s to reject/drop. My point is that you do not know others’ stories or reasons, and to lump them all in as cowardly and indecent is more rude than someone ghosting for their own mental healths sake.

 

[Chapman]

but they may have had other people who have made them be afraid of replying, especially if it’s to reject/drop. My point is that you do not know others’ stories or reasons, and to lump them all in as cowardly and indecent is more rude than someone ghosting for their own mental healths sake.

And rude, don't forget rude.

From my point of view, I am not at fault for any bad contacts these people may or may not have (lets remember that they may have no good reason for ghosting their partners other than lazyness, they do not neccessarily have to be victims of toxicity in the past). Therefore, I do not deserve to be, as you would put it, lumped together with the a-holes that made them feel uncomfortable, and I do not deserve to be treated like one of them.

What you need to understand is that, even if those people that ghost me have been burned in the past, their behaviour makes me as much of a victim* as they were.

Alrighto, I will be away for a couple hours now, and I hate to pick up conversations on forums after that long. Maybe we'll continue this talk later, but if a number of people will join it in the meantime then I'll probably pass. You can pm me if you want to. It's been nice to have a civil discussion.

*again, as much as you can use words such as "victim" in a First World problem like ghosting on an erotica forum

 

[Nihilistic_Impact]

You're coming off as quite the smug asshole.

Makes me feel oddly good to know you've been ghosted.

 

[Staine]

I don't feel somebody not doing something you do makes them jerks. We don't know why somebody might ghost, maybe they forgot, maybe they are in a bad place emotionally, maybe they have tried ending an RP by telling the person in the past only to be met with hostility. I've experienced or seen all 3 of those myself, it happens. You tell the person, and that's great for you, couldn't be happier, but holding everybody else to the same things you do isn't always the right way to handle something in a world with so much individuality, and you cannot know what the person on the other side of the screen is thinking or going through.

Being ghosted sucks but at the end of the day, it's not even about you. It says nothing about you if you get ghosted, it's very rarely a personal insult I feel, it's not something that reflects on you. It may very well be something the other person hated doing but felt they had to and I don't like to judge them for that.

 

[Solo]

After multiple reports on different posts here and after staff discussion, it's been decided this thread should be locked.

Everything that's going to be said on the debate of ghosting has already been said, and it's started to take a negative turn.
Please feel free to PM myself or another member of staff with any questions.