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Draw your own conclusion (for Tarrakhash and Blurugirl)

Blurugirl

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Joined
Oct 25, 2019
Shahlah Jacobson thought she had a perfect life. Mostly.

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Granted, her life hadn't started off perfectly, mostly or otherwise. Her father had become enamored with an Iranian man, and Shahlah had been the result of the romance. But the romance quickly devolved into abuse and control from her biological father, who left her mother and her when Shahlah was five,

No problem. When Shahlah was nine, Shahlah's mother would meet the man who would become Shahlah's stepfather.

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Shahlah loved her stepfather. But she loved all her family. Shahlh's stepfather was a commercial artist who still kept tabs with his classical roots. He was successful enough that he could run his own business out of their office. But he also taught an art history class at the local college, and drew "non-commercially", as he called it. And though Shahlah had no talent of her own, her stepfather made sure Shahlah was still introduced to his world. He had not only taught her about different artists and artistic movements throughout history, but also how to appreciate and critically analyze art as a whole.

Shahlah had a good relationship with her mother. Mostly. Well, Shahalah's felt her slightly nerdy mathlete daughter should be outgoing, and she definitely did not appreciate the mostly frumpy, form hiding clothes her eighteen year old daughter wore. But Shahlah still appreciated her mother. Well, things had become strained between Shahlah's mother and stepfather, and she knew her stepfather spent some nights on the couch in his office, but he always said that was because he was working late. And if the two were having problems, they were going to great lengths not to expose their kids to their marital strife.

And Shahlah adored her little five year old brother. Mostly.

Hunter was blonde and blue eyed (the same as everyone else in the family except Shahlah) and was just as sweet as he could be. He would sit by Shahlah on the couch, cuddle up to her, and ask her for a story if she wasn't busy. Or just sit there and be sweet and good if she was busy.

Hunter was perfect. Mostly.

Except Hunter would draw on anything if given a chance. In response to Hunter's artistic exuberance, the walls were painted with wipeable paints, Hunter was given special crayons, and anything you didn't want drawn on, was locked up and put away. Because Hunter would listen and obey about everything except drawing.

Which is where the story begins.

Shahlah's stepfather would keep his office locked, to ensure that Hunter didn't draw on any of the more expensive books he had on his shelves. In addition, all important papers were kept locked in the bottom drawer of the office.

Shahlah and her mother had keys to the office, and Shahlah went into the office one to use the family printer. While she was printing out a paper due on Monday, she noticed the bottom drawer of the desk was ajar. She was about to close the drawer when a folder in it caughter eye. It was titled "Life Drawings." Shahlah immediately knew that meant Nude Sketches. Although she was a modest young woman (overly modest, in her mother's opinion), Shahlah wasn't shocked about the idea of her father making nude sketches. That's what artists did, after all. She would have been more shocked if her father made landscape paintings. He did have curt words about that sort of thing.

Curious, Shahlah pulled out the folder and began flipping through it. She didn't recognize some of the models, of course, but assumed they were student models her father had met at the college. One of the models, though, looked familiar to Shahlah. It took the teen a few minutes to recognize who the nude woman was in those sketches. It was HER!

Shahal was more than a little shocked that her father has been imagining her nude. Well, he had not only been imagining, he had been mentally airbrushing the nude mental image of his stepdaughter. The young woman in these pictures was gorgeous! It was sort of like the optimized version of what Shahlah thought she could ever aspire to.

Probably the only thing her stepfather had not improved on, Shahlah though with a self-conscious smirk, was the size of Shahlah's breasts in the sketches. But then she couldn't really fault her father on that. After all, with the frumpy clothes she made sure she was wearing any time she stepped out of her room, he had no idea on how to guess. The breasts in the sketches looked to be about a cup smaller than Shahlah's D cup.

Still, the part of Shahlah's mind that her stepfather had trained to look at a drawing analytically thought they were good, if woefully inaccurate. So Shahlah took a couple of post its from the desk, wrote some critiques, attached it to the drawings, then returned them to the bottom drawer. This time, though, she made sure the bottom drawer was locked. Hunter definitely didn't need to get to those pictures!

Chuckling, Shahlah locked up her father's office, headed to her bedroom, did a few things on the compute, then called it a night. At ten o'clock on a Friday night, Shahlah was happily asleep in her own bedroom.
 
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"If we're going to have it all sorted out now," Gerri replied, "I'd rather have it all sorted out now. Otherwise, I'd rather go to sleep and wait until Saturday."

There was a murmur of agreement from the other girls.
 
Stephen nodded and gestured with his hand,"Very well...a meeting in towels. Let's go." He headed downstairs the slight flutter of nerves working in his stomach.

Once he was in the office and the girls all walked in he closed the door, in case things got a little loud and went and sat at his table waiting till they are done and he started,"Things that are not up for debate, we are in this together, I want us to stay that way.", he pointed at Gerri,"That includes you, I need to calm my jets and not jump to conclusions about what you all think about me....and I probably need to make it easier for you to talk to me about stuff.....and I am an idiot from time to time ..which is why I need you guys."

He shrugged,"Okay....go...let's talk about everything we need to."
 
When Stephen gestured for the girls to go down stairs for a "meeting in towels," there was an immediate air of resistance. "I think we meant give us another five minutes to get changed and we'll head downstairs."

"I rather like Dad's idea of a meeting in towels," Sarai said with a laugh. "Particularly since I'm not in towels. Dad, why don't you head down to your office, and we'll be down in a couple of minutes? And no ice cream. We are grown women, not twelve year old little girls who have to be placated. A fact that our towel clad nymphs are living proof of." Sarai said with a laugh, much to the embarrassment of the other teens."
 
Stephen rolled his eyes, they want a meeting now...they dont want a meeting now. For the love of pete... and it meant he lost the initiative again,"Well I'm getting ice cream, I dont want any whining when you don't have any."

So he went down, grabbed some ice cream and sat in his office...waiting for the girls to decide his fate. He smirked, it probably couldn't be in better hands.

Pulling out the sketch of Gerri he had started he set to work on that again, wondering what surprise they were going to spring on him.
 
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door, and just Sarai stuck her head in. "Sorry, nobody wanted to come down. I think you're remark about 'whining' threw a damper on the moment. Mind if I come in and talk about it?"
 
Stephen raised an eyebrow,"A joke about ice cream? And now they won't talk to me....well, I'm really having a great day." He sat back and shook his head,"Come on in....feel free. Apparently I don't know anymore about woman now than I did when I was 15."

Stephen was, annoyed, he was trying to make up and now it felt like he was being held hostage every attempt to make up back firing and getting worse and he was just losing what little control he had. He sighed and looked at Sarai and shrugged,"It feels like it's going the same way as with Shahlah's mom....I'm just going to lose everything...again."

He sighed and shook his head,"And panicking isn't helping is it?"
 
"Nope, sure isn't," Sarai said. "And, if you don't mind me saying so, they weren't mad about the ice cream joke. It's...your attitude."

"I know you think we're teenagers, and we are," Sarai conceded, "But let's be honest. We're young women. Intelligent, talented young women. We don't want to be told what we need. We want to have a place to help figure out what we need." Sarai shook her head. "All things considered, we're about as straight laced as we can get. But when you put your foot in it, Dad...and you did put your foot in it, sounding like you backed out on an offer to Gerri, you can't apologize by telling her what she needs. You need to say...I don't know. Just stop trying to put your stamp on everything."

Sarai was looking a little exasperated. "It's just sometimes...you say something and expect everyone to fall in line. Everyone wants to be here, because it's safe and warm, but...they don't want to be controlled. Does that make sense, what I'm saying?"
 
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There was silence as he considered her words, sitting back and thinking about it, stroking his mustache and then sighing and shrugging,"Let's start at the beginning, yes, you are right. I messed up, I then tried to fix it...and probably should have waited but there area couple of problems between the four...well five of us, now." His blue eyes looked into Sarai,"First off we're all kinds of messed up, everyone of us, we've experienced things that just doesn't leave people feeling okay. Myself included, I've lost my second wife, I've had the same woman I trusted for nine years try and steal my money, hurt my children and then it happened again. Of course I'm controlling, I'm not as smart as the four of you, you have solutions for things I don't even know the word for so all I have is my 'Dad Badge'....except I'm not a Dad anymore....I don't know what I am."

He leaned back closing his eyes and letting out a rather shaky sigh,"I'll always want to be Shahlah's dad, but she's getting big and she doesn't need me anymore, I'm scared not to be needed....so I'm trying to be a friend, sometimes that works sometimes it doesn't. You, you treat me like I'm half way a friend you can tease about, well about stuff you shouldn't tease me about, and half the time like you're not sure if I'm going to turn into a monster of some sort and gobble up your friend."

"And that's really the worst of it all, Shamira.", he opened his eyes,"I want to protect her so bad, and now I'm the one hunting her and she's okay with it...and that...that's all kinds of confusing for me, and I can't even imagine what it's like for her, or you guys....Fuck.", he looked up at the blonde and chuckled, a little sadly,"Sorry...my bad, I don't even know where to start with Gerri...." He tossed the picture of her over to Sarai,"But she's also cute, just like the rest of you....I just don't know what I am, or I'm meant to be. Everything that defined me has left me, doesn't need me or I feel like I'm going to hurt in ways they don't even understand."

Smirking he said,"I'm controlling because I'm losing control, Sarai, this place is supposed to be safe and warm for you guys....but it's making it hard for me, because I don't know what my job is in all this to foster this. There are too many relationships I don't understand where they are going, feelings that I don't feel comfortable with, feelings I feel too comfortable with....I don't know. Am I making any kind of sense? I just want my girls back, I want to feel that they are safe with me, comfortable with me and I don't have to worry about losing them."

He smirked a little,"And yes, Shamira already warned me, I'm trying to squeeze the water too hard and it's squeezing out between my fingers." He shrugged again,"I can try, Sarai, I can try to squeeze a little less hard, try to let you guys just rest in my hands instead of trying to grab you...but I don't have all the answers, and I'm going to mess up, all I can ask for is patience? Right?"

Snorting he said,"That's a lot.....sorry...that kind of got dumped on you."
 
Sarai stood up, walked to the office door and made sure it was locked. She then went around and unceremoniously plopped herself into Stephen's lap.

"I'll talk to the girls, and get them to put this all on hold until Saturday. Until then, just relax. Okay?"
 
Stephen's eyebrow rose as Sarai checked the door and he had to laugh as she dropped in his lap, looking down at her he put his arms around her and kissed her forehead,"So, tell me Sarai, since you enjoy poking all the fun at me. Why did you lock the door? So Shamira doesn't come in?" He sighed,"Tell me, how does that whole thing make you feel, Sarai? Since you'll still talk to me....it's eating me up inside, maybe some nice logical talk will help get me to relax about it.....how does Shamira feel about it? How does Shahlah, heck, does Gerri even know? She's been looking at me like she does....but that could be my mind playing tricks on me."

He laughed and kissed her head again,"And thank you, for always being there even if you tease me."
 
"I locked the door so that I can let things settle," Sarai said, leaning against Stephen. "If Shamira walked in right now, she'd want us to move to the couch, so she could snuggle in to. She's a complex and simple person, Dad. She loves who she loves, and doesn't want to see them in pain. Which is why she's pulling away from you right now, because she's seen you cause Gerri and Shahlah pain. Not.." Sarai held up a hand to stave off any interruption "...that you did it on purpose. I understand that, and so does Shamira. But you have a way of trying to impose how you see the universe on everyone else. And when the universe isn't the way you see it and you do that sort of thing, it tends to blow up in your face and everyone else's face as well."

"Take, for example, the first question you asked me when I sat in your lap. You asked me was I worried about Shamira walking in. Do you honestly think I would ever do ANYTHING to hurt Shamira? And if I thought doing what we're doing now would hurt Shamira, it would have never happened. I closed that door so we wouldn't have another scene like the one with Shamira and Shahlah today. Which was settling down and everyone was thinking and settling it down in their minds what it meant to them. And then, you had to stir it up again."

"The trouble with you, Dad," Sarai added as she stood up, "Is your trying to control everything. And Shamira's right. You keep trying to control and force everything, and you're going to end up with nothing. Just relax, let everyone try to get things right in their own head without you trying to force the issue. You called it the Dad Badge? Well, people don't want a Badge barging in all the time. They only want it when they need to be rescued, or when they call for it. And nobody needs to be rescued ALL the time. Not us four, anyway. Good night Dad." Sarai leaned over and kissed Stephen on the forehead as she was leaving. "And don't sit up all night thinking about it Just let it be. Like they say in Taoism, the true path isn't the one you see."
 
Stephen didn't respond, at least not verbally, he hugged her when she kissed him and nodded,"Good night, Sarai." Of course she said it, so he tried not to but he spent a large portion of the evening thinking about it, finishing the picture off for Gerri. It was early in the morning when he put the picture in an envelope, left it at Gerri's spot at the table and moved off to go collapse into his bed. His own mind not completely settled but he was determined not to try and control things. The irony of trying to control his controling aspects was not lost on him but what choice did he have? He couldn't live without the girls.

His alarm went off way to early and he made his way to breakfast with not enough sleep and quiet determination not to stir things up more.
 
Sarai was the first up, with the rest of the teens still asleep.

She was cooking porridge and turkey bacon when Stephen walked in.

"Good morning," she said, bright and bubbly. "By those bags under your eyes, you decided not to take me advise on not staying up thinking all night. And speaking of advise, can I ask what's in the envelope you left at Gerri's spot at the table?"
 
He ran a hand over his face and pulled a tongue out at the blonde,"I did sleep...just not very well or very long...I'm bad at taking advice."

Looking at the envelope he smiled,"An apology...well a drawing, of her face before you say anything, complete with elf ears and a hat." He shrugged,"You all seem to like my drawings of you, so I figured I'd do something at least...too much?"

Smirking he said,"I suppose it's not leaving things alone like you said, but I didn't think it would hurt, right?"
 
"That's the action, reaction one right? Something about them always balancing?",he sighed going over and picking up the envelope,"So no then....." If she agreed he went and put it away, resigning himself to just letting things happen....not something he was good at.
 
"Dad, there's always a reaction," Sarai said with a sad little smile. "You just have to figure out what that reaction is going to be, and decide if that's what you want. But it's your call," Sarai said as she went back to making breakfast.
 
He laughed at her,"I've been really bad at figuring out reactions in a system involving 5 unstable bodies...there is always something I haven't accounted for. It's just so hard not to try and fix things. The fact you're talking about it to me means there is something I didn't think about or don't know about. I'll be better off listening to you." He put the envelope away and came back and ate his breakfast, he did try and be graceful about these things, but he felt powerless.
 
"N body problems are impossible to solve at the moment, but that's predicted by chaos theory," Sarai replied, setting out dishes. "Two many factors to take into account. That's why meteorology loses its accuracy the further you go out, whether you're dealing with a stable mass, such as myself, or an unstable one, such as you," she added, sticking her tongue at Stephen.

"Please, no math this early in the morning," Gerri said, coming down the stairs. Hunter raced down after her, gave her a drive by hug, then dashed down to the table, hugging Sarai, who embraced him in return.

"Good morning," Gerri added to Stephen with a nod, purposefully avoiding any title, name or nickname.

"Morning, Dad," Hunter added, plopping down in his chair. Shahlah came down soon after, giving everyone a half-hearted, half awake smile and good morning wave. Shamira followed down a little later, her mood and behavior, though not as subdued and withdrawn as when she first arrived, was not as open as it had been the last couple of days.

"So, Hunter, looking forward to camp next week?" Sarai asked.

Hunter immediately began telling everyone all the things he was planning to do at camp, with Sarai having to remind him to eat and breathe once in a while. Hunter's good mood was contagious, and seemed to lift the mood of the table.
 
"I'm the unstable mass?", he chuckled at the comment looking up as Gerri came in,"It wasn't real math, more me complaining and Sarai putting me in my place."

He nodded at the greetings, getting a hug from his son and then joined in the conversation about camp. The week alone with the girls becoming something he hoped would allow him to heal the damage he had done

And practice not being controlling. He tried not to let that become him just simply being withdrawn and aimed to be friendly and keep things light. Saturday would be....interesting to say the least.
 
"Well, you are the one who keeps trying to get his way, even when it doesn't work," Sarai quipped in Stephen's ear before she went about the table,, serving breakfast.

"I'm going to miss you when you're gone all next week," Sarai told Hunter, actually a little misty eyed. "You're the best customer my kitchen has."

"Awwww, I'll be home soon, Sarai," Hunter said, getting out of his chair and hugging Sarai. Sarai laughed and hugged the little boy back, tousling his hair.

"Hey, I could use one of those," Shahlah said. Her brother dutifully hugged her, then the other two teens, before going to get ready for school.

"Dad, will you be able to take care of Hunter this afternoon?" Sarai asked, as the other teens headed upstairs to get ready. "I've got to put in a couple of hours at my aunt and uncle's store, and everyone else has late studies, practices, that sort of thing. And I've got a roast in the refrigerator that has the instructions on what to preheat the oven to and what time to put it in. I'll be home by five."
 
Stephen watched, with just a hint of jealousy, as Hunter went around and got hugs. It was all so easy at that age, no expectations, no judgement just love and he let out a small sigh.

Sarai addressed him and he nodded,"Sure...will do. I'll arrange to work from home after lunch." Pulling out his phone he sent a text to his manager and put a reminder in to put the roast in, making his way to the fridge to check the time it had to be in before saying his goodbyes, whatever the girls would let that look like, and heading out to work himself.

It would be easy enough to be back in time for Hunter and the roast.
 
"Something smells good," Sarai said as she walked in through the door. Hunter was working on a worksheet when Sarai came through the front door. He immediately got up to hug her.

"So it looks like your Dad remembered to put the roast in the oven," Sarai said with a smile.
 
"Not through any gifts of my own, Sarai, I have a very trusty phone that reminds me of stuff.", he grinned at her,"How was the day at the store? You geek out nice? See any new superheros you can share with me?"

He moved around to her and hugged her,"Whay time are the others getting home?"
 
"Probably about the time I get everything on the table," Sarai laughed. "Want to help me get the veggies prepared?" she asked, heading toward the kitchen.
 
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