Superpowers Gone Awry

[Steel_Enigma]

Thought I'd bring one of my favorite forum games in here for fun. The game is simple.
One person states a super power that they wish they had. The next person then adds a condition to that power that makes it goofy, useless, or otherwise a bad idea, and then a power that they'd want.
Ie:
Laservision
The lasers are laserpointers

I'll start:
Shapeshifting

 

[Thedawn]

Only into a turd

 

[Greenskin]

(Since Thedawn didn't list a superpower I'll just go off of the first post.)

"Shapeshifting"
Only into inanimate objects

Power I want
Telekinesis

 

[Thedawn]

You can only lift your dick

The power I want is divine dividing from highschool dxd

 

[Dogged]

All the powers you'd get back are negative ones like huge burps and strong b.o.

Power I want
Therianthropy (ability to shift into a werewolf)

 

[Thedawn]

Only on the toilet (good thing that's not how divine dividing works so I get only good powers)

 

[Dogged]

"The Divine Dividing has the ability to Divide the power of its opponents by half after coming into physical contact with them every 10 seconds. The halved powers are then added to his/her own powers. "
No mention of 'good' at all....... This thread is getting severely derailed. I'm out.

 

[Thedawn]

It's the strength of them not the actual powrrs

 

[Mud]

Gonna try and revive this because I like the premise.

Teleportation

 

[Thedawn]

Only into the sewers

Giving people depression

 

[Mud]

But they can give it back whenever they're done with it.

The ability to fly

 

[Thedawn]

Only if you rip your arms off


Super strength

 

[Mud]

In a single muscle group, like abs. So aside from doing an impressive number of situps, useless.

Mind Reading

 

[Thedawn]

You can only read your own mind

The boosted gear from highschool dxd

 

[Revnarh]

You can only read the minds of insects

Telekinesis

 

[Aviatrix]

You can only move objects which you are physically capable of lifting

Telepathy

 

[Dragonfoot455]

You can only use it when you are severely sick

Healing factor

 

[Revnarh]

You can only move objects which you are physically capable of lifting

So all I have to do is to workout and I can lift people or multiple weapons like swords and guns. Neat!

You can only heal small scratches in your body.

Pyrokinesis

 

[Doctor E]

You can only start campfires.

Invisibility

 

[Revnarh]

You can only turn invisible when nobody is looking at you.

Super speed

 

[Timor]

But you can't slow down.

Mind control.

 

[Aviatrix]

You have perfect control of your own mind

Future Sight/Divination

 

[Timor]

You can foretell the time of your death yet will be unable to stop it.

Rapid cellular regeneration.

 

[Revnarh]

Your cancer cells will outgrow your regeneration.

Super jumping

 

[Aviatrix]

Your clothes tear away from the sudden force of each of your jumps.

The power to breathe undetwater