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Explain a Film Plot Badly

  • Thread starter HeyThereLittleBear
  • Start date
Passengers(2016)

Dinosaur controlling dude(Chris Pratt) wakes up on a space ship like 90 years early and gets horny as all fuck. So dang lonely and horned up he contemplates suicide if he can't find something to drain his sack off into soon, so he wakes up the hungry games chick(Jennifer Lawrence) and they fall in love and make friends with a robot bartender.
 
The Lion King:

A cute Hamlet reenactment with animals as the main characters.
 
Fifty Shades of Grey:

Take everything you know about BDSM and throw it out the window. None of it applies here.

Drive-Thru:

Jason Voorhees takes up a night shift job as a fast-food restaurant worker. Oh, and he can talk now, because reasons.
 
The Sixth Sense:

Bruce Willis's character takes two hours to realise he's dead. (Well, at least that accounts for his acting!)
 
Jackass series

Jackass: Frat house the movie

Jackass 2: Frat house the movie around the world

Jackass 3: Frat house the movie in their mid 30s
 
The Notebook: Old man reads old woman a book to make her fall in love with him.
 
Captivity

A man finds a new and exciting way to make a woman fall in love with him.
 
THE WIZARD OF OZ

2 women fight over an ugly pair of red shoes. The Salesman just wants to get the hell away from both. Oh, and some Northern bitch gets drunk in her bubble and orders a buncha little people about.
 
Star Wars Rogue One: Incidental character does peripheral stuff, interacts with Chinese martial arts stereotypes.

Mad Max Fury Road: Polyamorous desert big shot is abandoned by all his girlfriends, at the same time. Has a mid life crisis, takes all his buddies on a road trip.

Her: Divorced man leaps at rebound lay with his computer. Turns out computer was the biggest cheating slut ever, he accepts it like a doormat.
 
Requiem for a Dream: Drugs. More drugs. Music on drugs. Life goes to shit.

John Wick: Keanu Reeves playing himself with a different name, two hours of people getting murdered for being in the same movie as him.
 
The human centipede:

Small doctor brings three people closer together

Chronicles of Narina:

Kid comes out of the closet
 
RustyRedHero said:
Fifth Element: A Bad Cop and Chris Rock fight aliens for hot pussy.
Click to expand...
:D :D :D


Whiplash: Drummer gets into an abusive relationship with an angry bald man. Drums a lot, drums till he bleeds, finally drums enough to please his tormentor.

Taxi Driver: Man with low paid taxi job can't afford a trip to the barber.
 
Sing:

Matthew McConaughey gets together a bunch of animals. Seth McFarlane fucks ALL of them.
 
Cinderella:

Wrinkly godmother tells young girl it's what inside that counts...Then changes her outsides.

Back to the Future:

Unsuspecting boy is seduced by a creepy old loner into a game of time-traveling crime, terrorism and incest

Lord of the Rings:

Group spends 9 hours throwing away jewelry.

ET:

Illegal alien chased by the Feds.
 
Paddington: family commits numerous breaches of the laws regulating immigration and the keeping of wild animals as pets.

Paddington 2: more of the same.
 
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