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The Only Rules That Matter: Bloodlines (Corsair&Madam Mim)

He’d been hesitant when May led him out onto the balcony. He was naked, after all. They were naked. Did... did she want to fuck, out there? The thought made him even harder, which made him even more hesitant. And the sight of her bare, pale body in the twilight just made the ache in his cock more pronounced. But she was a priestess, his priestess, and he listened as she spoke. And then he followed her guidance.

The wind was chill on his skin, raising goosebumps. He stood there, eyes closed, letting her words caress his ears and the wind caress his skin, and a feelin began to grow inside him. A sense of love, of acceptance unlike anything he’d ever experienced. The feeling shook him, bringing tears to his eyes as it washed over him.

“Do you feel it?" May whispered, wrapping her arms around him.

“I do,” he whispered, voice shaky as tears dripped down his cheeks.

She began to sway against him, moving in an erotic dance tha seemed a perfect counterpoint to her words. "Do you feel the rhythm of the ocean? The tempo of the wind? Do you hear the beautiful music of the Universe singing to your soul?"

“I do,” he whispered, “I do.” Eyes closed, he allowed his priestess to guide him back inside, sitting when he felt a chair bump against his legs. She climbed into his lap then, straddling him. "I love you, Thomas," she groaned, and he groaned with her as he felt her lower herself slowly over his cock. “Do you love me?”

“I do,” he gasped, his hands resting on her hips.

“Do you love your All-Goddess?” She asked, rolling her hips on him.

“I do,” he gasped again, exploring he back with his fingers.

“Do you love the Universal God Soul?" she asked, tightening around his length.

“I do,” he groaned, the last word truncating as she kissed him. He opened his mouth, receiving her tongue, fingers tracing the tattoo he’d seen on her back. “I do.”

"Let me cleanse you, Thomas,” she whispered, words in time with the rise and fall of her body on his shaft. “All you have to do to rid yourself of your past life, of your doubt and guilt and pain, is to empty your seed into me and allow me to cleanse your soul."

“Goddess,” he groaned, his hips rising to meet her. “Goddess, cleanse me,” he gasped, leaning back in the chair. His eyes opened, watching her. Was it a trick if the light that made her hair appear a crimson halo? That made her skin appear to glow with a golden lift? “Goddess... my priestess... she... take my pain... and... and cleanse... me...”. The last word was a hoarse cry as he climaxed, and he moaned as he saw the light in her intensify, and his hoarse cries of orgasm were a hymn of praise as he released his guilt into her with his seed.

-*-

“It's just weed, man," Nate protested.

Jack shook his head, eyes wide. “Fuck that, man,” he replied, trying not to shake. “There was some bad shit in that. I saw...”

Nate gripped his shoulder, gently trying to move him. "C'mon brother, sit back down,” he said, voice soothing. “You're in a safe place here, man.”

By degrees Jack relaxed, allowing himself to be drawn back to the beanbag chair. Nate made sure he was settled, then assumed a cross-legged pose on his own seat. “What did you see? What did the All show you?"

“I saw,” Jack began, then hesitated. “I mean, I... I don’t know.” He shifted uncomfortably, hearing the beans crunch as he moved. “I didn’t see, well, anything. I just sort of felt...”. More hesitation, as he tried to figure out how to put it in words. “Something... old. Really old, staring at me.” He shivered. “No, not old. Ancient. Waiting for me.”

He shivered again, before a snippet of lyrics struck his mind. Unconsciously he began to repeat then, half singing and half speaking, low and reverent. “The King and his men stole the Queen from her bed, and bound her in her bones...”
 
Nate's eyes were wide as saucers. "You divined an Aspect?" awe tinged his voice as he leaned forward. "Only May and Jesse have ever done that...not even the High Ascender has felt it. May says that it's an Aspect of the Universal God Soul which entifies as an ancient goddess. We don't know her true name but we call her the Ancient One."

Jack shivered, mumbling to himself, half-singing. "The King and his men stole the Queen from her Bed, and bound her in her bones..."

Nate tilted his head slightly to the side. He didn't know the words, but had occasionally caught May softly humming a similar tune. If this wasn't a sign then he was a cotton-brained scarecrow. He gave Jack a few moments to re-gather himself, watching him closely, before putting a hand on his knee and squeezing gently. "The Ancient One isn't to be feared, brother," he assured him softly. "She seems to be attracted to May and Jesse, and this sounds like the second time you've felt her so I guess she's kinda glommed on to you too. It's a good thing, an honor. Just one more sign that the All-Goddess was right and you're the true Savior. It was true prophecy, man." He smiled and gave Jack's knee one more squeeze before returning it to his own lap.

"Why don't we try again, huh?" he suggested, glancing over his shoulder at the rest of the church as they began to bed down for the night. "If you feel the Ancient One again, try to embrace her and invite her back into your heart. Pray to her for guidance, and to keep May safe on her journey of penance. Just remember that we're her children and she loves us, most especially you." He smiled and straightened his back again, looking straight ahead before closing his eyes once more. "Close your eyes," he instructed gently."

~*~

The wind whipped around them, flinging May's hair into a firey halo as she rode him. His hands roamed her back and she cupped his face in her hands as he pleaded for his salvation. "Give me your pain, Thomas," she murmured, clenching around him and working hard not to cum herself. She had been denied for so long, and it was only the second day of her two week penance. "Give me your guilt, your doubt, your sin. Give me all of the wretchedness the world of the Material has forced upon you and sold to you as goodness, and be renewed."

“Goddess..." Thomas gasped as she pressed her forehead against his, still cupping his face, "my priestess... she... take my pain... and... and cleanse... me...” With a hoarse cry he came, releasing into her all of his pain and guilt to be cleansed and released back into the universe.

"Praise the All," May whimpered with a grin, tears streaming down her cheeks even as she kissed his away. "Oh my beloved one this is just the beginning. A lifetime of the Material corrupts us all, but with a heart as earnest as yours salvation is never lost. Tonight is your new beginning, Thomas." Carefully she lifted herself off of him and clambered out of the deep deck chair. Slowly she backed away toward the rail then, when she felt it against the small of her back, carefully pushed herself up onto the narrow strip of wood. "You just put all of your trust in me," she explained, spreading her knees and holding out one hand while keeping the other on the railing. "It's only fair that I put all of my trust in you. Why don't you come show the Disconnected down there how easy it is to divest yourself of all of your pain?"

~*~*~

May's legs wrapped tightly around Thomas's hips as he helped her off of the railing with his hands on her ass, his dick still pulsing gently inside her. Carefully she lowered her feet to the balcony, a slight groan escaping when she felt their bodies physically disconnect though she knew nothing now would part their souls. She longed to cum, to let him make her scream, for it to be genuine rather than the false cries that had echoed down to a couple of teenagers on the boardwalk. The milk of his lingam slid down her thigh as she took a moment to get her feet back under her though she still felt a little wobbly as she walked to the sliding door.

"The Charleston's chocolate hazelnut mousse cake is to die for," she mentioned as she led him by the hand back into the chill of the overly-air conditioned room. The points of light on her tattoo seemed to sparkle a little more noticeably in the dark before she turned on a light. "I was disappointed we couldn't stay for some. Why don't you order us some room service and I'll get cleaned up and draw us a bath?"

~*~*~

"It isn't easy, Thomas." May laid against him, her ear against his chest, as they spread out in the tub. She had cleaned up in the shower beforehand and she had marveled at the water pressure and temperature. The temptation was real, but she had to remember her path. "It may take you years to fully divest yourself of the Material world. Even if you sold your house, your cars, all of your luxurious possessions, gave over all of your money to the Church or to the homeless or some other cause, you would still be faced with the temptation to return. Connectedness is not always an easy life; even I get a little tempted sometimes." As they lounged together, one hand gently stroked up and down his shaft beneath the bubbles while the other occasionally fed herself a bite of dessert. Two champagne flutes sat on the edge of the tub within easy reach. She had promised to show him that enlightenment, that easement of mortal pain and guilt, could also come slowly at times. Time would tell whether he had the patience for that right now.

"But imagine feeling this, the way you feel right now, all the time." She smiled up at him and kissed him tenderly, squeezing his head gently before sliding her soap-slicked had back down his shaft. "Once you're finally karma-neutral--which won't happen all tonight, but I think we can probably get most of the way there depending on how dedicated you are to getting pure--it's like this all the time. All you ever feel for anyone else is love and desire, and the All sings to you its love all the time. It isn't always easy, but it's always beautiful and always worth it." She kissed his throat before offering him a bite of dessert.
 
The next morning...

“I feel... good.”

Thomas’ statement was shot through with a wistful incredulity, almost as if he couldn’t believe he was saying it. Grinning sheepishly, he walked back over from the balcony door and perched on the edge of the bed. “Not just the sex,” he added, stroking May’s bare calf, “although that was good. Incredible, even. But,..” he gestured, as if groping for words. “I feel like there’s a weight lifted from my, my soul.”

He looked back out the window, watching the waves on the bay. “I have so many questions. Are... you’re a priestess. Do you lead your faith, or... is there someone I should talk to? A teacher or, I don’t know... a guru?”

He looked back. “May, I... I want to learn. I don’t want to, to lose this, this peace. Where do I... what do I need to do?”

-*-

“I feel awful.”

Jack groped his way into an upright position, scratching idly at his chest. Better be just an itch, he thought. I find fucking lice, I’m out - May or no. But it wasn’t the itching that bothered him, not really. It was the weed and the meditation, and the things he’d seen. Or that he’d thought he’d seen.

In the end he’d had to lie to Nate to get the dude to back off, pretend he hadn’t seen shit. But he’d dreamed of dark oceans, and titanic feminine figures made of crabs and seaweed that sang hymns, and a watching presence that even in the light of day made his blood run cold. An Aspect of the Ancient One? More like an Aspect if Checking Who Nate’s Goddamn Dealer was.

“Morning, Jack!” Nate called, sticking his head into the little area he’d claimed. “Breakfast is nearly ready. Then we can talk more about the God-Soul and Max’s teachings.” He grinned. “It seemed like you were really getting in touch with the divine last night, man.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack grimaced. “Gimme a minute.”
 
Jack's penance was conducted more like an in-house community service. Nate instructed him in Max's teachings as they ate breakfast, then chatted amicably as the two of them cleared up dishes from the entire church afterwards. They washed the dishes in buckets filled from spigots outside the neighboring gas station and left them to dry on a rack. Next, Nate informed him, was preparing for the next meal. They only had two meals a day during the week, since some people did go to work or school to support their growing congregation and Max said that the best way to maintain a connection with the All was to maintain a connection with one another through communal meals. But having a number of hours until the next meal needed to be started didn't mean there was work to do.

Eggs needed to be collected. Each chicken needed to be asked personally whether it was okay to harvest her egg, and then thanked for her contribution and sacrifice once the egg had been taken. There were twenty chickens. After the eggs were collected and washed the hens were fed and the chicken coops cleaned out. Then peas, lettuce, spinach, and early carrots were harvested from the rooftop garden where they were grown in repurposed troughs, buckets, and other makeshift containers filled with dirt. Tomatoes, corn, and beans were beginning to sprout but it was too early for them to bear fruit. While they chopped vegetables two other followers were instructed to run to the corner store for some milk and cream and when they returned the cream was churned into butter by shaking it in an empty mason jar then pouring off the buttermilk, and they began the process of turning the milk into cheese.

Then came the cleaning. There was sweeping and dusting, both in the main chapel and in other parts of the building though a few places were off-limits, including the basement and the Council office. They made beds and began collecting laundry to wash in the same buckets (emptied and refilled of course) they had washed the dishes in and hung on the drying lines on the roof. The entire time Nate instructed Jack on the nature of the Universal God Soul and the reasoning behind everything they did. The reasoning was usually "oneness," connection, and service. Emphasis was placed upon them all being one with one another and being kind to each other and serving each other meant being kind and serving themselves.

"Huh...Look at that!" Nate shielded his eyes and squinted at the sun. There were no clocks in the Chapel and watches were generally frowned upon but sometimes allowed for those who had outside jobs who required them to be there at a certain time. Time, Max said, was a man-made institution; it was arbitrary and made little to no sense, and he highly encouraged them to live by the rhythms of the sun and seasons. "Time flies when you've got some help! Folks should be getting back soon. Think we got some time to smoke a bowl first though." He led the way downstairs and flopped into a dilapidated couch before he began packing the bowl of a glass pipe. "So whatcha think?"

~*~

May grinned at Thomas from the bed, stretched out under his gaze like a cat in the sun. He stroked her calf absently and she sat up as he looked out the window and peppered her with questions. Slowly she sat up, letting the sheets fall from her body and pushing wild, bed-headed hair from her face.

"May, I... I want to learn. I don’t want to, to lose this, this peace. Where do I... what do I need to do?” He looked worried. Not that he needed to be; he'd taken the hardest first step towards enlightenment, but she understood. To lose yourself to the Material again after becoming connected must be an awful feeling.

"Well first of all, relax," she teased, smiling and pressing slow kisses to his back and shoulders, gently massaging him. "The All won't drop you all of a sudden just because. It's not like the so-called Christian 'god'; it doesn't get pissed off and punish you if your faith wavers. We all have moments of weakness from time to time, even me." May hugged him from behind and let one hand fall into his lap, gently teasing his dick. "I'm not exactly a priestess; it's just sorta the easiest way to explain it to a Disconnected. I'm a leader, I guess, insofar as cleansing goes, but I'm not the leader. Max isn't a teacher, exactly, and he's definitely not a guru. Gurus tell you how they think you should live your life; they're charlatans looking to make a quick buck off of lost souls. Max is more like...well, like a prophet, I guess. The Universal God Soul speaks to him and he leads us through Its will." She kissed his neck and glanced at the clock as she pumped her hand up and down his shaft again. "You can meet him if you'd like. He'll be thrilled at another lost soul entering the fold, and you've already done some hard work with all the unburdening you did last night." Last night he had, when he'd caught his breath, confessed his sins, his guilts, his insecurities to her. "Would you like that?"
 
There was a whole hell of a lot of work to do, and some of it was bullshit in Jack’s considered opinion. Yeah, absolutely fishes needed to be washed and floors swept and food collected. But churning butter by hand?

“It keeps us connected to nature, Jack,” Nate declared, rolling a mason jar in his hands.

“It’s not like you milked the cows, Nate,” Jack pointed out. He shook the jug he’d been using to fill a jar. “Pasteurized and homogenized and bought from the store. Why not just buy the butter and be done with it?”

The chicken thing was just goddamn wired, too. Asking the chickens? By name? He’d helped Granny Sam gather eggs more times than he could count, and she’d never once even implied they had names.

Finally, worn out, he followed Nate downstairs and flopped down into an easy chair. “So,” Nate asked, packing weed into a glass pipe, “whatcha think?”

“I think,” Jack said carefully, “you folk got a really weird way and f doing some things.”

“We talked about the butter, man,” Nate sighed.

“Naw, that ain’t what I mean,” he replied, waving a hand. “Not all, anyway. This whole thing... I mean, I get wanting to get closer to nature. But, I mean, you still live in the city and stuff. Why?”

-*-

“Yes!” Thomas exclaimed. “Yes, I would. Will, will he be there? Should I take you back to him, or back to where the God-Souk led me to find you, or what?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’m babbling. But, yes. I would very much like to meet Max.”
 
"Max!" May threw herself onto him enthusiastically once she had climbed out of the car. "I didn't know you were coming to pick me up."

"Yeah I've made an appointment for us," he replied, kissing her and looking her over to ensure her physical safety. "For further penance, y'know?"

"You alright, Mayflower?" Jesse caught up to them and threw a suspicious look at the stiff as he exited. He caught the exuberant woman in his arms with a grin and kissed her. "I'm guessing that's a yes?"

"More than a yes," she grinned. "I gave a cleansing last night. A true cleansing. He unburdened and everything. He truly believes." She took both of their hands and pulled them towards her escort. "I want you to meet Thomas. Thomas, this is the Ascender Jesse and the High Ascender Max. Max is the one who guides us by relaying and interpreting the will of the All."

Jesse saw dollar signs in Max's eyes as he shook hands with Thomas. "Pleasure to meet you, Thomas," he said with a disarming smile. "Have you--"

"May?" A man in a suit crossed the road to approach the four of them, and May didn't have to look up to know his voice and cower behind Max and Jesse. "May Delphine, you--! Thomas?" As though automatically without really taking in the situation Leland Palmer reached out to shake his hand. "Thomas, how do you know my daughter?"

"She's not your daughter, man!" Jesse was not generally a physically intimidating man, but he made himself so with an aggressive stance and the implied weapon his hand went around in his pocket. "You're dead to her!"

"You don't speak to me you long-haired communist freak!" Leland spat, jabbing a finger in his face. "May, come with me. We can go home, pretend like nothing ever happened, we can start over." He held his hand out to her.

"Please leave," May said, avoiding eye contact and trying to make herself as small as possible.

~*~

“Naw, that ain’t what I mean,” Jack said, waving a hand. “Not all, anyway. This whole thing... I mean, I get wanting to get closer to nature. But, I mean, you still live in the city and stuff. Why?”

Nate thought on that for a long few minutes. At least, it seemed long to him. "This is where the God Soul wants us," he said at last, leaning back in the chair and shrugging. "Max interprets the will of the All, and if the All wanted us to move out to the country I'm sure it'd say so. But country folk...they're already close to the land. There's a lot more harm here, in the jungle of concrete and steel. It's important to be close to nature no matter where you are. Cities are a part of human life now and there's no way around it...but it's important to remember that nature is there even when we've paved it over." That sounded like a sufficiently Max-like answer anyway.

"I mean, yeah the milk comes from the store," he continued after another good long thing, "but it's important to remember the cows it came from, and to put in the hard work of making butter because those cows put in a ton of hard work providing for us. Y'know? We shouldn't just ignore that. And like the chickens--yeah I know you didn't get the chickens--it's like...how would you like it if you worked really hard on this thing and then someone came and took it away without so much as a 'by your leave'? Everything has feelings, man, and we need to honor that."
 
Thomas watched the exchange, bemused and startled by the revelation that the priestess who had revealed the Universal God-Soul to him was the daughter of Leland Palmer. He’d spent the night fucking the daughter of...

No.

It hadn’t been anything so crass as fucking. It had been as she described it, a cleansing and an unburdening. She had given him a gift greater than any he could ever have received, and now she and the High Ascender needed his assistance. So he palmed a business card and pressed it into Max’s hand, mouthing the words “call me, please” before taking action.

“Leland!” He gripped the man’s hand, shaking it enthusiastically as May asked him to leave. “Sorry about that, I just hadn’t realized that May was your daughter.” He moved a little, subtly positioning himself between Leland and the leaders of his faith. “She cane to me asking for a donation to her church, and I spent a lot of time talking to her about it - she’s extremely articulate and passionate, you should be proud of her. But I’m planning a donation now, since I’ve always earmarked a portion of my profits for charitable giving.” He grinned. “But what brings you here? Scouting new locations?”

-*-

“Man, my grannies raised chickens,” Jack laughed. “Them birds got two feelings: mean, and stubborn. But, yeah. I guess you got a point.” He shrugged. “Being polite don’t hurt, Gramma Sam always said. And it don’t hurt to be thankful for what you have, don’t it?”

Holding out his hand, he took a careful hit in the glass pipe. The weed didn’t taste like it was cut with anything, but it hadn’t tasted funny last time either. “So, we work and meditate and thank chickens. Oh, and there’s a whole lotta fucking.” He took another hit and passed back the pipe. “What else do we do, man? What’s the Sunday service like”
 
"No," Nate agreed, slowly releasing the smoke from his lungs, "no it don't hurt in the least." Jack asked what Sunday service was like as he passed back the pipe and Nate dissolved into giggles.

"Sorry man," he said after a couple of minutes and finally getting himself under control. "It's just...you're still thinking like a Disconnected, y'know? There ain't one special day outta the week, you gotta worship every day, with everything you do. Everything you are. The work, the meditation, the fucking, and yeah even the chickens, those are all acts of worship, of devotion. You gotta...gotta do it with intent, man." He took a hit and passed it back. "Even this, right now, the smoking is an act of gratitude. It brings us closer to a feeling of oneness with the All and if we do it with intent then we express our boundless gratitude for the lifeforce it's instilled in every single one of us and for the bounty it's given us." He paused for a long time, then sighed.

"Still, Max says we oughtta have a special day," he admitted with a shrug. "Not coz there is a special day, but because that's how the Disconnected think, and you gotta get their minds and their hearts with...what'd'ecallit?" Nate squinted into the cloud of smoke as though it held the answers. "Syncretism." He nodded, mostly certain that had been the word. "Like when Christianity was gettin' big. You really think Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter?" He laughed again. "Nah man. That's just syncretism. The Christians came and tried preachin' to them and the Pagans were like 'no thanks dude, we got our own holidays,' and the Christians were like 'well what a funny coincidence...' It's why we've got shit like Christmas trees and the Easter bunny, man. There ain't a single Douglass Fir in all of Judea, guarandamntee." Nate dissolved into another giggle fit over imagining modern Christian practices being practiced in ancient Jerusalem.

"So Sundays we got Fellowship dinners," he said finally. "There's members of the church who don't live here, y'know. They do community service with us sometimes, and donate to the church, but they don't really live it. But the Fellowship dinners, that's when they're really brought into the fold, and a few of them can really feel the presence of the All and are shown the way and move in. We have dinner, then Communion, and Max preaches sermons for a couple hours. It's a good time."

~*~

"Her church?" Leland was clearly still a little dazed by finding his business acquaintance with his daughter, who was dressed like that. "They're not a church Thomas, they're a goddamned communist cult. Don't you give them anything, not a single penny!"

"You don't get to dictate what other people do anymore, old man," Jesse snarked, moving in front of May and closing ranks with Max to keep her out of sight. "Your time is over! Go away and leave her alone!"

"You stole my daughter you unconscionable miscreant!" Leland spat back, his attention and demeanor flying wildly between Thomas and the Ascenders.

"I left!" May shouted over Jesse's shoulder. "I was on my own for months before they found me. They saved me!"

"You speak to your father with more respect, young lady-!" His attention was diverted again to attempting to being pleasant with Thomas, as though he hadn't been nearly spitting with rage seconds before. "Yes I've got a client looking to build a new mall. It might mean having to demolish a few historic buildings, and that'll bring out those protester types. But they just don't understand, do they? The march of progress is inevitable. Building new cities on top of the old has been the way of the world since the beginning of humanity." His chuckle sounded forced even to his own ears. "What would you be doing on this side of town, besides running into May? Same thing? I heard you'd finally gotten your hands on that big Stokes account. How'd it go?"
 
“Gonna be honest with you, man,” Jack laughed. “The preaching don’t sound like a good time to me - I never been much of a church guy, you know?” He took the pipe and had another hit. “But I’ll give it a try, all right?”

Smoke drifting from his nostrils, he passed back the pipe. “Still, I thought people had to live here. I mean, didn’t one of May’s friends get kicked out for having a no, or some shit like that?”

-*-

“Only thing left on the Stokes account is signing her contract,” Thomas said, trying to hold Leland’s attention. “And your daughter was actually quite helpful with that - it turns out she knew Mrs. Stokes,” a lie, that, but the God-Soul would understand, “so she agreed to help put her at ease so we could talk business.”

SHifting a little, placing himself between Leland and the uncomfortable trio, he gestured for them to leave. He’d already given May his offering, more than he’d originally agreed to and yet not enough to truely thank her and the God-Soul for the change wrought in his life. “She’s got quite a head for business, really, which she must have leaned from you. If she’s being disrespectful, I think it’s just because she’s trying to find her own way. But from what I saw, you should beproud of what she’s capable of.”
 
"My daughter? Business?" Leland forced another chuckle. "Thomas, I'm not sure how May really knew Mrs. Stokes, but it most certainly wasn't for-- Hey!" He contemplated running after the Volkswagen bus his daughter had disappeared into, but it was too late and that was far too undignified.

"The fuck was he doing there?" Jesse demanded, punching the gas to make it through a yellow light in time. "It was that fucking Disconnected, I'm telling you. He--"

"It wasn't Thomas," May insisted earnestly from the back seat. "He isn't Disconnected anymore, he's a true believer. Last night, after dinner, he unburdened completely and gave me all his sins. I purified him, truly purified him. Well, as well as could be expected without a proper communion," she added hastily when Max turned in his seat to look at her. "And look!" She shoved a wad of cash into Max's hand. She hadn't counted it out, but the amount came to well over four thousand dollars.

"May, this is..." Max chuckled and shook his head as he counted it. "Well done, Mayflower." He turned all the way around in the passenger's seat and took her hand, kissing the back of it gently and grinning. "I've always had faith in you. I just knew you were the heir to the title of All-Goddess."

"Even I stumble sometimes," she admitted humbly, looking away modestly but smiling.

"Too right. You've done well in your contrition, but the prescribed penance hasn't been completed. We're going to do some charity work with my friend today..."

Charity work, as it turned out, involved a camera, a boat, another wad of cash, and a man calling himself John. It was over quickly enough, though if May were honest she didn't dislike it at all. John had been very nice and very generous, and had complimented her when they were finished and sent her off with a kiss. She'd have been tempted, if he weren't Disconnected, to take up his offer to go to lunch with himself and his wife. But Max had gestured impatiently and she'd made her excuses with a promise for next time. After lunch May found herself at a different street corner in the same part of town, keeping a wary eye out for her father while also looking for Disconnected who might be willing to make a donation. Jesse had made a deal with a group of four men for a donation, and that was how she had found herself down a dark, dingy alley at three in the afternoon.

"So what can I do for you?" May asked cheerfully with a smile, eager to please. "My friend says you guys made a very generous donation to our church. Surely that merits some reward."

~*~

"Well I mean, you ain't never heard Max really get going have you?" Nate took a hit and held it for a few moments before letting it out. His voice was a little raspy when he continued. "Dude's a pistol man. He could make Carl damn Sagan a believer. It ain't like all that groaning, doom-and-gloom shit you hear in church. Max's sermons are...transcendental."

After some thought as to Jack's question about Esther, Nate sighed. He had to know some time. "Esther didn't just move out, man," he said sadly. "She was our Person Mover All-Goddess, or at least we thought she was. People can live outside the chapel man; we're all about free choice. We're not gonna force you to do nothin'. I mean, you moved in with May while she was livin' downtown, right? It was just time for her to take that last step is all. But Esther...she didn't just leave the chapel. She left the church. Said she'd been talkin' to her mom and her sister all weekend, that they'd set her straight. Said we were crazy and that we'd never change the world...that the All wasn't really the All." He shook his head in sadness and disgust. "I mean, she'd sold out long before that. Sold her soul to Corporate America when she started working at that bank. Things just got worse from there. It takes a lot to wear out chances here, man. Takes a lot to wear out forgiveness. But then she came back at us with all this 'crazy' talk and that was it. She hadn't really been coming to fellowship suppers or communions for a couple weeks, so Max told her if she hated it so much to just not come back. So she didn't." Nate shrugged and sighed. "The truly faithful prefer to stay here at the chapel, Jack, because the world of the Disconnected is a corrupting influence. It's easy to return to their ways, it's easy to not have to think about how your actions impact all of us and the Universal God Soul. Lotsa folks figure if even someone like Esther can fall...what about them?" He looked sadly at Jack. "It's easier to shut out the sinful than it is to live among it."
 
“Maybe it is,” Jack said with a shrug. “But if you’re gonna teach people something different, seems to me you gotta be out and seen. I mean, hell. Jesus went to the orostitutes and tax collectors, didn’t he? Maybe Max outta be doing the same.”

After a moment he stretched his leg out, rotating the artificial foot strapped to his stump. “Of course, it’s not like I ever tried to start a church. Right? I’m just trying to understand things, is all. Speaking of which...”. He tried to check the time, before remembering he’d left his watch in his duffel bag. So he craned his head, checking the window. “Looks like it’s about time to go get started on dinner. Lotta folks are gonna be hungry, man, so we need to get on it!”


Carefully, he climbed out of the beanbag chair and offered Nate a hand up. “C’mon, man. I’ve got a few ideas about doing some fried rice up. Won’t be fully authentic, but it’ll be good.”

-*-

“A donation to your church?” laughed one of the men, a burly sort with a broken nose and a scraggly beard. There was grime ground into his jeans and denim jacket, a characteristic he had in common with the other three. “Here that, guys? We’re fucking pious.”

The others laughed nastily. “Yeah,” sniggered another, this one with stringy red hair in need of washing. “A fucking reward, right? I know what I want!”

The first man, probably the leader of the little group, grabbed May’s hair and pushed her down. “Why don’t you start by getting on your knees and saying a little prayer?” he sneered, undoing his fly with his free hand. Great naming nastily, the others gathered around as he slapped his cock against her face.
 
May hadn't liked the look of the men even as Jesse had sent her off with them, but it wasn't her place to question the will of the All. That was how she had become a penitent in the first place, after all. She cried out when the big man snatched her up by the hair and forced her to her knees. A grunt forced its way from her throat when her bare knees hit the pavement, and she wasn't sure whether that was a pebble or a shard of glass she had landed on. Her eyes watered with pain but she blinked them back quickly.

"Stop it!" The young woman was incapable of making her voice sound forceful or even reproachful as she jerked her face away. "Show some respect! I don't have to do this you know!" Technically, she did. This was her penance, after all, to solicit donations from the Disconnected, and it was well known that the Disconnected only gave something if they got something in return. Despite her protests, she wrapped her fingers around the base of his cock and swallowed it.

It tasted as foul as he looked. One of the things that had made her so skilled at purifying tainted souls was her well-controlled gag reflex, but May had to pause every now and again to control her body's rejection of this man whenever her gorge started to rise. She looked up at him with her eyes to gague his reaction, using every trick she knew to bring forth the milk of the lingham. The more quickly she could purify this polluted man desecrated by the outside world, the more quickly she could wash out his taste. It was the taste of pure corruption.

~*~

"He is out there being seen," Nate protested. "What d'you think he does when we're not doing community work? What d'you think he's out there doing right now? Jesus didn't exactly go on the radio or TV, or write a book, did he?"

It was with some approval that Nate saw that Jack had forgotten to wear his watch today. Time was a man-made concept, anyway. They lived by the watch of the All. But he was right, it was time to get started on dinner if they wanted to have it ready by the time everybody finished their work and those out in the world came back home to the sanctum. He took John's hand and heaved himself up with a grunt, standing in place for a minute or two to get his bearings. Weed had put him a little off-kilter and he giggled absently as he slowly leaned to one side, then slowly straightened.

"Fried rice, huh?" he asked as they walked towards the area where food was generally prepared on a series of hot plates and solar ovens. "Ain't never had it fried before. Maybe some day the God-Soul will call us out to the country." He picked up a scoop and pulled the lid off of a ten gallon bucket of rice. "Then Max might lead us somewhere we can grow our own rice, instead of having to rely on the Disconnected for it." Nate took great pride in their ability to grow as much as they did on the rooftop of an abandoned factory, but there were some things they couldn't provide for themselves, and rice, corn, and wheat were staples for them.
 
“Fuck,”the man with the scraggly beard grunted, filling his hands with May’s hair and forcing his duck into her throat. He climaxed hard, gasping as his cum flooded her mouth. “Fuck. You gotta try this bitch’s mouth out.”

“Not interested in her mouth,” sneered the man with the greasy red hair. He dragged May up and pushed her over a trash can, then dragged her Jean shorts down to expose her bare ass. Sniggering, he pressed his cock against her shaven lips. “Fuck, yeah,” he gasped, pushing his length into her. “Ah, fuck she’s tight.” Gripping her hips he started driving into her, the slap of his belly against her ass audible over the screech if metal In blacktop. He cane with a grunt, cum flooding her as he pulled her tight into his Vick with a bruising grip.

The next man took his place as he slipped out, a stocky figure with stringy dark hair and a gut. “Ain’t never fucked a church girl in an alley,” he sniggered, driving into her. “You like being sloppy seconds, church girl?”
 
May choked as the man with the beard came, filling her mouth and throat with the vile taste of the filth of the outside world. She had no choice but to swallow or to suffocate. Even though she wanted so badly to spit out what sin he had given her, but that wasn't the will of the All nor was it the way of the All-Goddess. They had to accept what was given to them, regardless of the personal revulsion it may bring; theirs was not to judge, only to make clear the path to oneness. But May began to suspect that these men had no interest in enlightenment when the redhead threw her over a trash can. She grunted again and winced, the handle of the lid digging painfully into her stomach as he thrust into her.

This was what the All had been waiting for, she thought as she gripped the handles of the trash can. It screeched across the pavement as he thrust painfully into her, his fingers digging into her hips. This was her punishment for questioning the will of the Universal God Soul, for defying the High Ascender, for acknowledging she who had refused to give herself over to the will of the Universe. Everything hurt, and May closed her eyes in an effort to embrace the physical pain meant to purify her soul.

"You like being sloppy seconds, church girl?" the stocky man asked as he thrust into her almost as soon as the second had pulled out. There was only one other after this, and then it would be over.

"N-n-no," she sniffled, fighting tears while he drove carelessly into her over and over. She had learned her lesson. Just please let it all be over soon, she begged silently. "P-please...." It had slipped out without her noticing, this fragment of a desperately thought prayer while she was being used by Disconnected who had no interest in salvation or enlightenment.
 
"N-n-no," May snuffled. "P-please...."

“You hear that?” laughed the stocky man, driving hard into her. “Tucking whore loves it!” He slammed mercilessly into her, cock battering her inner walls. “Bet the slut gets off on it.” His hand cracked against her ass. “Don’t you?”

“You ain’t never got a bitch in your life,” jeeredthe first man.

“Don’t... fuckin’... matter!” The sticky man climaxed with a grunt, cum flooding her and spattering her thighs and ass as he jerked out. “Got what I wanted, didn’t I?”

“Oh, look,” said the last man, a wirey man with tattoos all over his hands and forearms. “She’s crying.” He ran his hands over her back, voice sickly seeet. “They upset you baby? They hurt you?”

Without warning, he forced his cock into her ass. “You gonna cry for me?” he growled, yanking back on her hair as he pounded into her ass. “Gonna scream? I want you to fucking scream, bitch!”
 
May gasped when his hand cracked against her ass, her inner walls involuntarily tightening at the unpleasurable pain. She had a hard time catching her breath, only able to take it in little sips and gasps of air as the stocky man came, painting her inside and out. Tears rolled down her cheeks, hot on her skin, as she continued to cling to the handles of the trashcan. One more. Just one more then it was all over. She had a blurred vision of tattoos through her tears as he took his place behind her.

"Oh look," he cooed. "She's crying. They upset you baby? They hurt you?"

She whimpered and nodded, the metal of the filthy garbage lid cool against her cheek and the gentle touch of his hands soothing as he ran them over her back. The brief reprieve was shattered when body exploded in pain, feeling as though she were being ripped in half with each thrust. A scream tore from May's throat as he pounded her and yanked on her hair. Along with her scalp, her fingers ached from where the metal of the handles dug into her joints. She screamed again, which dissolved into sobs as he demanded she scream again.

"Jesse!" She didn't realize it was her own voice calling for the man who was supposed to protect her. It seemed to her a calling from the all. Then she felt her lips form the words. "I'm sorry! Jesse please I'm so sorry!" The rest was unintelligible as she broke into sobs again, attempting to call for rescue. She had taken men like this before, obviously; every part of the woman was a sacred orifice for soul-cleansing. But that had been slow, loving, a real connection while this...this was the greatest agony she had known in a very long time, and it felt like a violation. "Please!" she screamed again, squeezing her eyes shut against the pain.
 
Jesse took a drag on his cigarette, then shifted his stance a little and leaned against the bricks. This was always the worst part, the waiting. Particularly when the location was such that he couldn’t enjoy watching. Yes, May’s enforced ministrations to the Dusconnected were acts of penitence, but she was still smoking hot.

There were four Disconnected, though. And the alley were in was fairly public, and the corrupt enforcers of the will of the Disconnected State took a dim view of the Faithful bringing the word of the God-Soul to their blinded sheep. So he had to stand and watch, keeping an eye outfit intruders.

He blew smoke from his nostrils again. He hadn’t expected things to be easy. Hell, ever since the night he and Max had spent with the Scarlet Woman - the night their inner eyes had opened and they’d seen the God-Soul like a vast, placid ocean - he’d known just how difficult their mission would be. But that didn’t mean...

“Jesse!”

He froze, cigarette halfway to his lips. Shit! Had he imagined that? He hoped he had, because there as only one reason a Penitent would call his name while ministering...

“I'm sorry!” he heard May sob. “Jesse please I'm so sorry!"

As he turned, he heard harsh laughter, and a cry of agony from May. “Not as sorry as you will be, bitch!” someone mocked.

Jesse let his anger flow through his kundalini, energizing his charades as it slithered up and down his spine. He drew a deep breath through his nostrils and exhaled through his mouth, walking with measured steps towards the Disconnected and his Penitent Person-Mover All-Goddess. Maybe he misunderstood? It was possible. Maybe it was a game, and one of them was named....

No. That wasn’t it. Not from the look of panic and pain on the Person-Mover All-Goddess’ face. Not from the cruel laughter and brutal acts of the Disconnected. They’d been warned. He’d laid out the rules for them.

“Hey,” their leader said, glaring at him. “Fuck off we ain’t done yet!”

Jesse didn’t break stride as he drew his knife and buried it in the Disconnected’s throat. A twist as he passed ripped it free, and blood sprayed across the bricks as the man hit the ground. “All of you,” he said calmly, “are finished.”

The Disconnected sodomizing May pulled out, awkwardly trying to stuff himself back into his jeans. The other two rushed Jesse, seeming to move in slow motion as the blessings of the God-Soul and the skills he’d acquired in the days before the Scarlet Woman let him watch their approach. He drove a knee into the lead man’s gut, then the knife into the base of his skull. The second man got a finger in the eye, popping it loose. His scream was cut off by Jesse’s fist crushing his larynx, and he hit the ground gobbling and struggling for breath.

A quick swipe of the knife ended his struggles.

“Fuck, man,” the last man gasped, wild eyed. “I was just, you know...”

Jesse smiled, and raised his knife. Blood dropped from the blade. “You gonna cry for me?” he asked, letting the words flow from the God-Soul as he advanced. “Gonna scream?”

-*-

Jesse wrapped May in hiscoat and lifted her, staggering a little as he carried her towards the van. She wasn’t a big woman, but he wasn’t a big man either. “Forgive me, Person-Mover All-Goddess,” he whispered. “I became distracted, and permitted the Disconnected to violate you and profane your sacred office.”

The fourth man had screamed. But not for very long.

“I will accept whatever penance the God-Soul reveals through you,” he continued. “My only hope is that, somehow, I may be forgiven.”
 
The man pulling out all at once was nearly as painful as his acts of violation. Without anyone to hold her up, weak from pain and disoriented, May fell with a grunt to the concrete, skinning her knees and scraping her palms as she caught herself before falling over. She saw but didn't quite register what was going on around her. She heard the angry voices, the screams, but couldn't quite make out what they were saying. All she was capable of doing was laying on her side, shivering and covered in filth, cum, and blood, while a man with the strangest aura she had ever seen moved in and out of her field of vision. The aura was a swirling vortex of red shot through with streaks of black. She winced and cried harder as blood spattered across her face, though from whom or what she had no idea and didn't want to know. Eventually there was a feeling of warmth. The strange aura surrounded her, lifted her and levitated her as though it was carrying her.

"I will accept whatever penance the God-Soul reveals through you." Jesse was in the front seat of the van, driving, and May suddenly found herself laid across one of the back seats, unsure how she had gotten there. "My only hope is that, somehow, I may be forgiven." She couldn't see his face, but his hands held the wheel in a white knuckle grip and licking up his forearms, wrists, and fingers like flame were tongues of the strange aura. She frowned, trying to puzzle out what the Universal God-Soul had meant by it. But she blinked and the aura was gone, leaving May uncertain she'd really seen it at all.

"There's nothing to forgive, beloved Ascender," she replied weakly from the back seat. "You did your duty in watching over the Penitent. When he doesn't blaspheme, an Ascender is beyond reproach."

At the Chapel Jesse carried her to the cargo elevator, and by the second floor May was able to stand and keep herself stable enough to help pull them up to the top floor. With his coat still wrapped around her, Jesse escorted her to the showers. May gave Jack a wan smile and a little wave as they passed the chow line, but was unable to say anything as she was rushed past. In an act of contrition, Jesse cleaned the Person-Mover All-Goddess head to toe, carefully massaging each part of her body and placing kisses on each sacred part of her. By the time all was said and done supper was over and although a plate had been left out for her, May refused it, saying she wasn't hungry. Instead she wrapped her naked body in a crocheted blanket and slid onto the bed where Jack was staying for the night. Her waterbed had been taken from the apartment and set up in the chapel, and now was taken on a first-come first-serve basis.

"Hey," she said quietly, water sloshing as she slid onto the bed. It felt good to sit on, not being solid or putting pressure on her rear. "Mind if I snuggle up?" She leaned against Jack, resting her head on his chest and draping one arm over his middle. "Heard you got grounded today," she teased gently, avoiding eye contact with anyone passing by.
 
“Hey," May said quietly, water sloshing as she slid onto the bed. "Mind if I snuggle up?"

“No, go ahead,” Jack said, scooting a little and offering an arm. She snuggled in, draping an arm over his stomach and burrowing against him. She shivered a little and squeezed. “You all right, girl?”

"Heard you got grounded today," she teased gently, avoiding eye contact with anyone passing by.

He laughed at that. “Yeah. Seems Max don’t like people asking questions, y’know? So I got me a basic grounding in doctrine, and kitchens, and chickens.” He scratched his scalp. “Still don’t get them chickens - well, more like I still don’t get talking to them like they’re people. My grannies kept chickens, and they was the meanest damn things ever.”

Shaking his head, he stroked her red-blonde hair. “How about you? Heard they had you out doin’ missionary work, on account of talking to someone who left the church - which sounds crazy, really. Like, you get punished for tryin’ to bring someone back in by havin’ to go bring people in.” He shook his head. “Any luck?”

-*-

Jesse closed the door behind him as he stepped into the converted manager’s office that Max had claimed as his meditation chamber. It smelled of weed and acid and sex, and normally he didn’t mind. But he had serious news to bring. “Her, Rayven,” he said to the girl lying on the floor. “Make yourself scarce, all right?”

Blinking and bleary-eyed, she gathered her clothes and stumbled towards the door. When it closed, Jesse sat in an overturned milk crate. “Got a problem, Max. I failed the Person-Mover All-Goddess, in a big way. Some of the Disconnected she was ministering to, uhm, took liberties. Violated the sanctity if the cleansing she offered.” He rapped the knife hidden under his coat. “I took care of them, but... I failed her, Max. And through her, I failed the God-Soul.”
 
May laughed at Jack's confusion about the chickens. "Well these ones aren't, unless they go all broody," she insisted with a small smile, looking up at him through her hair. "But I don't think you got anything to worry about. But it's good you got to know the lay of the place, and that you're getting the lay of the land. I always think it's good to spend the first couple weeks with the congregation, really immerse yourself in the love of the All." She blinked slowly as he stroked her hair, enjoying the gentle touch on her scalp. When he asked about her Penance, however, she looked down and squeezed him a little, hunkering down against his chest.

"Penitents aren't really supposed to talk about it," she said slowly, frowning and avoiding eye contact again. "But what I can tell you is that I've brought another soul into the light. Some rich guy just needed someone to pretend to be his wife for the evening. But he brought me to a fancy hotel and everything and I told him what we're all about and I think I really got through to him. He made a big donation and unburdened. He said he's coming to Communion this week to join us formally, so you'll get a chance to meet him." May pulled the blankets up over their laps and plucked at the knitted stitches absently. "It isn't because I talked to her, by the way. It's because she knows the truth and chose to leave anyway. She's a Fallen; a corrupter." She burrowed in further, ducking her head against Jack until it was almost to his abdomen. "You up for a bedtime bowl?"

~*~

Max frowned as he watched Rayven go. He finished the doobie they'd been passing back and forth, then turned his frown to Jesse. "What's up, brother?" he asked, pushing himself slowly into a sitting position.

"Some of the Disconnected she was ministering to, uhm, took liberties," Jesse said, his eyes darting side to side then rapping the place in his coat where Max knew he carried his knife. "Violated the sanctity of the cleansing she offered." Guns weren't allowed, of course, and only Ascenders were allowed knives, brass knuckles, or any other sorts of weapons of the Disconnected. They had to protect their congregation, after all, and Ascenders were enlightened enough not to allow such things to corrupt them. Plus when they had first received visions of the All Jesse had had a hard time letting go of some form of self defense; no accounting for their lives in the beforetimes.

"And what if anything was done about that?" Max asked after a long pause.

"I took care of them, but...I failed her, Max. And through her, I failed the God-Soul." Jesse sighed and looked at his hands then back at Max, who shook his head.

"You failed to protect her from the violation," he agreed, "but you made it right. If the Disconnected are no longer a threat to the balance of the Universe and the peace of the Universal God-Soul, then you've done your penance. When he doesn't blaspheme, an Ascender is beyond reproach." The words echoed May's as Max held out a paper full of colorful dots. "Commune with the All if you feel a need to reconnect to the Universal God-Soul, but you've done your earthly duty. What happened was...unfortunate. But May knew the penance and the risks which come with it when she chose to reach out to the Fallen. You can only do so much." He ducked his head to make eye contact with Jesse. "She was a wayward child, and there's only so much you can do to protect her, brother. Don't be too hard on yourself."
 
“Some rich guy, hey? Maybe we can get a real water heater for this place, then.” Jack laughed. “I’m real tired of having to get up at oh-dark-hundred to make sure I get some hot water.”

"It isn't because I talked to her, by the way. It's because she knows the truth and chose to leave anyway.,” May remarked, heakening back to earlier. “She's a Fallen; a corrupter." She burrowed in further, ducking her head against Jack until it was almost to his abdomen.

“Dunno ‘bout that,” Jack replied. “Gramma Sam claims nobody’s ever so far gone they can’t turn their life around, unless you put a bullet in them.” He thiught for a moment. “No, I got that wrong. She said even if you put a bullet in them.” He chuckled. “It’s the kind of thing she says, when she’s in the mood. A witch mood, Gramma Jackie calls it.”

“You up for a bedtime bowl?" May asked

“Sure,” he agreed, rolling slightly and groping for his jeans. As he pulled his lighter out, something else she’d said caught up with him. “He took you to a fancy hotel? How does that...”. He bit the question off, unsure how to ask what was on the top of the tongue. “So, is that your penance? To, uhm, uh...”. Shit. He just couldn’t manage it.
 
May laughed with Jack when he suggested Thomas would buy them a water heater. "The All provides," she assured him, "and when we are worthy of such luxuries as hot water, the Universal God-Soul will provide us with hot water. The Ascenders, for example, always have hot water; they're the only ones who are always worthy. Sometimes in a time of grace some other seeker or person-mover will get a little hot water, but only because we have worked very hard to earn it and are temporarily worthy of earthly luxuries. Besides, Max says the cold water is good for us; bracing and builds character." She smiled, then corrected his mistaken impressions about the nature of her penance for talking to Esther.

"He took you to a fancy hotel?" Jack asked, pulling out his lighter while May packed a bowl. "How does that..." He trailed off, seeming not to know where he was going with that. "So, is that your penance? To, uhm, uh..." He couldn't seem to find the words.

"I cleanse the Disconnected," May confirmed gently with a smile, offering him the glass pipe. "The All sends to me those Disconnected who are inclined to understand our cause, to make donations to the church. As a reward for their generosity and sacrifice I bring them closer to true enlightenment. The ultimate goal is to bring them into the light, of course, and Thomas--that rich cat--was willing to take that step towards unalterable Truth. Unfortunately sometimes Disconnected donors don't always have the purest of intentions." She lowered her eyes and withdrew into herself again, wrapping her arms around herself and leaning against Jack's side. Her voice became small. "But I guess that's all just part of Penance. The God-Soul never gives you anything you can't handle, no matter how difficult it may seem."
 
Jack paused, lighter held to the pipe but looking at May. Her body language and tone of voice... it reminded him of a few of the men in his command. The ones that couldn’t take it anymore, the ones who’d seen too much and done too much. “May?” he asked, carefully. “Something happen, girl? You all right?”

God, that sounded lame as soon as he asked it. You all right? No, not from the way she was huddled up and whispering. She wasn’t fucking all right.

Carefully, watching her reaction, he eased an arm around her shoulder. “You wanna, uhm, talk about it? What happened, I mean?” Do I have to go fuckup Max’s shit? He didn’t say it, but the thought was there. Because he’d sent May out hooking - and there really wasn’t another word for it, was there? - as some kind of goddamn penance, and now she was acting hurt and scared. It didn’t take much to put two and two together and get Max needs an ass kicking.

“C’mon, baby,” he murmured, tightening his arm a fraction. “Talk to me.”
 
"May?" Jack asked carefully. "Something happen, girl? You all right?"

"I'm fine," May answered automatically.

Her voice sounded to her as though someone else had said it, and it was an all too dreadfully familiar situation. I'm fine was what she had told her friends, her teachers, the girl's soccer coach, anyone who had asked; anyone who had noticed a preponderance of makeup or long sleeves on a hot day, or a wince at a gentle touch. I'm fine kept the cops from getting involved, getting sent away with an Old Fashioned and a smile after reminiscing over their college days before a dark cloud descended upon the house once they were gone. She didn't wear makeup anymore, or long sleeves any more than she could help it, but I'm fine had kept May safe for so many years.

"You wanna, uhm, talk about it?" Jack asked, carefully easing his arm around her shoulder. May winced a little, but only snuggled closer. "What happened, I mean?"

"Nothing happened." Not even she believed that. She closed her eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek then dripped onto Jack's chest, leaving a dark spot on his shirt. His arm tightened a fraction.

"C'mon baby," he pleaded. "Talk to me."

May sniffled, warring with herself. This wasn't her father, and Jesse had gotten her away from those Disconnected and there was no way for them to find out she had told. They had probably done that and worse before, anyway. But some primal part of her, the part which held no ideals or beliefs and fought only for survival, wanted to hold back. And Jack had wanted to do nothing but help her ever since they had met. She sniffled again and tried to hold back the tears.

"I don't remember a whole lot," she finally said after taking a deep breath. "There were um...there were four of them. Disconnected I mean. I had taken a few donations already, but these ones approached Jesse and they talked for a while. I dunno what about, they were a little ways away from me. Anyway, donors are usually open to the ideals of the Church and their reward for generosity is cleansing, being brought closer to the All. But these men, they..." She sniffed and couldn't keep a few tears from escaping. Her throat ached and she had to swallow a few times before she was able to make herself speak again. "They didn't care about the Truth or the Universal God-Soul at all." She wrapped her arm around Jack's middle, burying her face in his chest. "I...I don't remember much," she repeated. "But the All came to Jesse and told him that these men were defiling the gifts bestowed on them. He...he saved me. I remember one of the Disconnected saying something nice...but it was just an act. He was just pretending. Next I know there's a man with a super weird aura, I think it was Jesse. Then we were in the van coming home." She grit her teeth and swallowed hard again.

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore," May said suddenly, but in as firm a voice as Jack had ever heard. "It's done. Those men wanted to stay Disconnected and to take advantage of the gifts of the All, and that's on them. Some people don't wanna be saved I guess."
 
Jack felt his back stiffen as he listened to the hollow, shaky voice of May recounting... was it rape? It sounded like she’d been hooking on Max’s orders, no matter what sort of religious name was put on it. If she had walked into it willingly, was it..?

He shook his head, suddenly angry at himself as well as the men who’d attacked her. Of course it was fucking rape! Prostitutes could still be raped - he’d sat in a couple of courts martial in Hanoi over that very thing. Fuck! If a woman said no then it was no, and the only thing you could demand was your money back!

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore," May said suddenly, voice hard. “It's done.”

“Then you don’t have to,” Jack agreed, still holding her. “You don’t have to do anyting.”

“Those men wanted to stay Disconnected and to take advantage of the gifts of the All,” she continued, “and that's on them. Some people don't wanna be saved I guess."

“I remember something my grannie said, once,” he replied, shifting to get a little more comfortable. “She and Gramma had gone to take some food to a family that lost everything in a fire, and I got real pissed off about it. They were some vicious sons of bitches, you know? Like, really racist. Made my life a living hell, and I yelled at her about it.”

He stared up at the ceiling, biting his lip as he remembered. “She just looked st me for a bit. Then she told me something that stuck: when someone falls down a hole, you throw ‘em a rope, she said. That’s yer job. It’s up ta them if’n they use it ta climb out or hang themselves.”

Rolling slightly, he looked at May. “Then, while I was nodding and getting it, she added something to it. ‘Course, y’kin always kick ‘em back in th’ hole if’n they get damn stupid once y’get ‘em out’.”
 
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