Fact: I would volunteer to aid Hahvoc in her above issue, but my methods would only make it worse.
Fact: Any woman who wants to be together with me will have to accept that she's not the only female in my life. My cat is very attached. I've started calling her my familiar recently. Withing ten seconds of sitting on the couch she'll claim my lap matter-of-factly, never fail. When I use the bathroom she paws at the door the entire time and meows in a sad tone, afraid she'll never see me again. You'd think after fifteen years she'd be bored of me by now.
Fact: Too much porn on my computer, and all of it terribly unsorted. Whenever I want to change my wallpaper or find a funny picture I'd saved it takes a minute of scrolling. >.>