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Lipstick and Nail Polish (Whisper Twice & AnnaBeth Belle)

Jennifer didn't breathe. She didn't think she could. Stacy had just kissed her again. She had thought those days were done, but there was the taste of Stacy's lips on her own again. She wanted to cry, she wanted to laugh, she wanted to leap into the air, but all those things might have scared away the precious moment that had just occurred. So, Jennifer remained good and laid her hand back down on Stacy's head, her fingers digging through her hair to find her scalp. "I understand," she said softly, quietly. "Let's see what happens to Princess Margaret first. We can't just stop after this episode. This and one more?"

Stacy didn't say anything and Jennifer took that to mean consent. As they lay there, cuddling on the couch, Jennifer's other hand traced up and down Stacy's arm. It was a slow motion, gentle, but not hesitant. Jennifer's breathing got deeper and, as she was doing so, she realized that her breaths had shivers in them. She was nervous, scared, like a 15-year-old watching television with her crush. But Jennifer realized she had every right to be nervous. Because she still tasted strawberries, and she loved the taste of strawberries. Stacy's lip gloss was still on her lips and she wanted more of it. Even more, she realized as she recognized the feeling between her legs, she wanted more than just Stacy's lips. But baby steps, she reminded herself. Baby steps.
 
Midway through the next episode, Stacy reached out and took Jennifer's hand that was caressing her arm and pulled it across the top of her own chest, snuggling down a little bit more to make it fit. Jennifer's breast had become a pillow for Stacy's head and her breath spilled out from her and across the fabric of the top Jennifer was wearing. Just having time to sit, to not think and just absorb the show even though Stacy couldn't really remember any details about this episode, helped clear and calm her mind. It certainly relaxed her even if Jennifer seemed to still be tense. Maybe she was sitting uncomfortably? No, it was probably all the worry about the change and what it meant for her day to day life. Oddly, Jennifer seemed to accept her new self better than Stacy found reasonable. She was... comfortable? Happy maybe? She not only accepted her new body, Jennifer seemed to like it or was at least trying hard to make it seem like she did. If Stacy woke up as a boy, would she be half as accepting, as calm and good spirited as Jennifer? But then that was just so much of how Jason had been too. Stacy lived from crisis to crisis and sometimes made them when they didn't exist. Jason moved from solution to calm and was the perfect oil to toss on Stacy's storm-tossed waters. Like now, for example. Jennifer was soothing her, soothing Stacy, even though it was Jennifer who had her life turned upside down. Stacy swallowed back the emotional swelling she felt and snuggled a little bit closer to the other woman.

"Jennifer," she said quietly as the episode ended. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"
 
Jennifer's heart began to race. Had she just heard what she thought she heard? Yes, she wanted to shout. Let's rip each other's clothes off and let me kiss you and suck on your breasts and you can suck on mine. Oh my god, I wonder what the hell that feels like! Please, baby, fuck me!

And then her breathing slowed. Jennifer realized that Stacy only meant sleep as in actually sleep. And, in a way, that seemed even better. More intimate. More loving. What she had with Stacy was more than just sex, it was a relationship blooming into something far more. While she'd never said "I love you" as a man, she'd felt it and she'd known this was far, far more than a simple fling. To sleep with the woman she loved sounded like the best thing in the world.

Jennifer leaned her head down and kissed the top of Stacy's head. "Of course you can. You didn't even need to ask. Hey, that means you'll be able to see me in those pajamas we bought today too. And you'll be able to help me with my bed head in the morning. Do you want to head back now or one more episode?"
 
"I kind of want to fall asleep right here, but," she sat up and stretched, palms pointed at the ceiling, "we need to wash our faces and put on some moisturizer. Don't ever sleep in makeup if at all possible. You'll break out and that gorgeous complexion you have will be harder to get back to." Stacy smiled a little sadly at Jennifer. "I remember how you used to tell me to hurry up in the bathroom and come to bed. Or you'd wonder why I would sneak out of bed after we- After. When I thought you were asleep. Well, that's why." And for other, stickier reasons but that was just a personal preference and not something that would really cause much of a problem. "Come on. I'll help you do it." With light movements Stacy stood up and reached out to give Jennifer a hand to help pull her off the couch.

A few minutes later, in the bathroom, Stacy was helping Jennifer moisturize her face and had already delivered some tips for what to buy when it would be time for Jennifer to leave the nest so to speak. Almost, stopping herself just in time, almost Stacy went into a lecture about not buying things off the internet because look what happened last time Jason did that, but she realized her meant to be funny comment would just devastate Jennifer. There wasn't any reason to say it, not when it would just hurt Jennifer and undo any amount of acceptance of her situation or Stacy's for that matter. Stacy reached out with her thumb to rub in a bit of moisturizer that Jennifer missed on the side of her face back by her jaw. For a few seconds the gesture, casual but oddly intimate, brought their faces close together as if they were about to kiss, then it was gone. Stacy left and began to pull back the covers. They'd changed them earlier, since half had been dragged off and the fitted sheet was full of hair. That had been really hard for Stacy but she bit her cheek and just did it quickly.

"Usual sides I guess?" she told Jennifer and slipped into her preferred one, on the left side. "And I'm still probably going to octopus you, like I always do, so just push me off if it gets to be too much, like you always do," Stacy said and gave a nervous but genuine smile. "But maybe I better be the big spoon now since your tits will get in the way," she added then laughed. "God, I'm sorry. It's just," she stopped laughing but wasn't looking sad. "It just is," she finished up and turned on her side, watching as Jennifer got into bed.
 
Oh, how many times Jennifer had to control herself in that bathroom as Stacy touched her face. She had to remind herself that those were not caresses, but the careful hands of a teacher removing the make-up from her student. But it was hard to do when Stacy's full lips and large blue eyes hung so close. Stacy never realized how beautiful she really was, she was always finding faults in herself. But those eyes, Jennifer had lost herself in them more than once. They seemed deep as the ocean and she imagined falling in the iris and just sinking sometimes as she stared. But, she was only allowed to stare before.

Jennifer got into bed too. "Oh no, there may be some changes here, but I am still the big spoon. I know you saw that picture on the internet of the little woman spooning the big guy and the caption called it 'the jetpack' but nothing has changed in that department." She reached over and grabbed Stacy, tickling her in the side where she knew her weakness was. "Besides, I'm still bigger than you, if not by much. Can't take that from me, universe." They were close, not more than a few inches apart, staring at each other in this comfy bed with nothing but some thin cotton and some air between them.

Jennifer turned away and reached for the lamp by the side of her bed. She flipped the switch and it got dark. Then, she curled up and found Stacy's back. Their bodies touched, melded, and they pressed against each other. Down below, it was actually easier than before, but Stacy was right. The boobs did get in the way. It was okay, Jennifer thought, as her breasts squished slightly uncomfortably against Stacy's back, it wasn't as if she was going to be able to sleep much anyway.

For night time was when the stress that Jason had always tucked away during the day came back. It's why holding Stacy was so important. He'd hold Stacy, the stress would take him, but her body against his would make it all alright. Jennifer hoped it would be the same tonight.
 
Her mind registered Jennifer not Jason, but the warmth against her back and the hand on her stomach, if higher than before and not nearly as large, but her body registered protected and loved and that allowed Stacy to find sleep far before Jennifer. She twitched once, her whole body snapping almost like a current passed through it, then her fingertips fluttered in aftershock as her body let go of itself and gave way to rest from the extraordinary day. Breathing slowly and deeply, none the worse for wear from the earlier asthma attack, Stacy lay spooned by Jennifer. Half an hour into sleep, her hand found Jennifer's on her belly and laced its fingers into the other girls as Stacy shifted backwards, pushing herself tighter into Jennifer's front. In the past that had often been enough to wake Jason, to arouse him, and she'd find herself sleepily accepting his cock into her pussy from behind, panties pulled aside or just down below her butt as Jason gently sleep fucked her. Sometimes she wouldn't even fully wake, letting Jason finish what he needed to sleep and feeling him spend inside of her then stay in, slowly growing soft as he dreamed. Those moments had been wonderful, even if she rarely orgasmed from them, because it was something Jason needed and she was there to give it to him, to make him happy and want to hold her throughout the night. Other times, when Stacy was feeling playful, she'd play the game of pretending to wiggle her butt against him until Jason was hard as steel then roll him over onto his back and ride him to her own orgasm, holding him back from his own with a hand around the base of his cock, or by slowing down until he lost the moment. Then, when she was finally satisfied, she'd let Jason work his frustration out by holding her hips, his thumbs meeting across her stomach, and pull her down down down hard into his cock until he filled her with his cum and he dragged her down to lay across his sweaty chest, one arm thrown over her possessively and keeping Stacy pinned against his body as he often began to snore.

Sometime in the night Stacy woke and stared at the wall across from the bed, feeling Jennifer's breath against the top of her head. When she thought for sure Jennifer was asleep, Stacy whispered, "I am still in love with you. I just don't know how to love you."
 
Jennifer eventually had fallen asleep. Sheer exhaustion will do that to someone. The sun broke through the window on the Sunday morning and a few rays poked through the blinds and landed on Jennifer's back, warming her. Her eyes fluttered open and shut several times and she felt the warm press of Stacy's body in front of her. Her eyes closed and she entered that blissful state of half dreaming where you are neither conscious nor asleep, and in that moment, she forgot the events of the prior day.

Her body grinded against Stacy's gently, not enough to cause anything, just enough to make the morning wood feel good. She pressed her head through Stacy's red hair until she found the back of Stacy's neck and she kissed it softly, once, twice, then a tongue flickered out to lick the back of her neck. She yearned to pull Stacy on top of her, let Stacy mount her and rider her like a stallion as she sometimes did. Maybe Jennifer would do so when she woke up more.

Her hand found Stacy's breast and she began to caress it gently, feeling the soft, small mount yield under her soft, feminine hands. Her eyes flashed open and she refrained from saying "holy shit you moron" out loud before stopping what she was doing and pretending she was asleep the whole time. But, of course, Jennifer couldn't sleep now, and she resisted the urge to rub her thighs together like she desperately needed to.
 
"It's okay," Stacy said when Jennifer froze like a rabbit in headlights. Underneath Jennifer's familiar but oh so very different hand, Stacy's body had responded as it always had in this bed that still smelled faintly of Jason. It was a haunting smell and Stacy imagined it was fading with every breath of it she took in. When it was finally gone would the last of her contact with Jason be gone as well, like when she took one of his shirts and wore it and wore it and wore it until it smelled of her own body and no longer of his heady, manly scent? Stacy's breast ached just a little bit, feeling wonderful to be held and squeezed, and Stacy knew her nipples were hard from the hard-edged tingle she felt, brought about as much by Jennifer's caresses as Stacy's memory of Jason's body and the smell of him still in the room. Before Jennifer could jerk her hand away the smaller woman captured it with her own and brought it to her lips, kissing it gently before Stacy tucked it into the hollow of her throat and tilted her chin down, trapping both of their hands.

"It's okay," she repeated and squirmed backwards a little bit, molding her body into Jennifer's. "It's still you, I know, and it's still me. We just have to figure it out. And we will, Jennifer. I promise you we will figure this out together." The words were accentuated with squeezing fingers. "Together." Stacy released Jennifer's hand and rolled onto her opposite side so she and Jennifer were face to face on the bed. Stacy's hand caressed the side of Jennifer's face, so soft and smooth compared to the sensual roughness of Jason's. Blue eyes gazed into brown and Stacy kept Jennifer's eyes as she slowly moved to mold their lips together in a kiss. It was over too fast, almost nervously so on Stacy's part, but she kept her eyes on Jennifer's and didn't let go of her hand. "I love you," Stacy said. "I just need you to say it too and I'll be okay. Please, Jennifer. Tell me what Jason never quite could and make me want to hear it every day from you."
 
Jennifer stared into Stacy's eyes and her mouth hung open after the kiss. She had hoped, really hoped that something like this would occur, that Stacy would come to understand that she was still the same person, even if she was different. But she had never really believed in that hope, and that had torn into her mightily, leaving a jagged scar in her heart.

Yet, now it seemed that the scar might heal, or even better that it would fade away like a bad nightmare. A tear formed at the corner of her eye as the corners formed into happy angles. Her open mouth turned into a smile, a toothy smile and she laughed. It wasn't a loud laugh, or a bad laugh. It was the breathless laugh of relief, of supreme happiness, like the first rays of sunshine after days of storm. She laid her free hand on Stacy's cheek, mimicking Stacy's. "I should have said it before, you know," Jennifer said, her voice soft, almost timid. "It seems silly now that I didn't. But maybe that's for the best. Maybe because you'll only know it in this voice. But..."

Her eyes locked onto Stacy's. "I love you, Stacy. I loved you before. I love you now. I'm going to keep loving you." Her hesitation gone, she grabbed the back of Stacy's head and pulled Stacy to her. Their lips locked and Jennifer sighed deeply into the kiss.
 
Jennifer still kissed like Jason. Her hand in Stacy's hair slid through the red strands and nestled just at the swell above the nape of her neck, cradling Stacy's head perfectly and controlling the angle of Stacy's kiss. Also familiar was the way Jennifer slid her tongue into Stacy's mouth, diving deep on the first long stroke, then teasing her own to follow it back out and to dance in the open air between them before their lips met again. Less familiar was the taste of Jennifer's mouth, somehow sweeter than Jason's and she wondered if that's how she had tasted to him. Then thought was driven from her mind when Jennifer pulled Stacy's lower lip out with her own before nibbling at it with her teeth after Jennifer sucked it into her mouth. Stacy gasped and pulled back, but was held in place by the gentle oral bondage and let out a grateful whimper of pleasure. Her hands came up and cradled Jennifer's face between them, finding rounded cheeks instead of angular ones, and her thumbs brushed across the top of Jennifer's upper lip, applying pressure until the other girl broke the kiss, then using it to guide Jennifer's mouth, still wet from their intimacy, into the hollow of her neck and silently pleading Jennifer to kiss the pulse of her heart. Stacy's fingers slid through silky black hair and she squirmed to put one leg over Jennifer's body. It felt achingly like kissing Jason, like being kissed by Jason, and if Jennifer was smaller and smoother and smelled sweeter, Stacy was still able to feel like part of Jason was still touching her and she craved the memory of their sweet embraces more than the awkwardness that she felt and didn't want to focus on.

"Right there," she whispered. "Oh God, right there. Please, baby."
 
Jennifer could not say no, but why would she anyway? She was lost in the moment now, completely enthralled by the passion of their embrace. The kiss on Stacy's neck was light at first, a peck accompanied by a chuckle and smile. Her hand left the firm embrace of the back of Stacy's head and found itself on the back of her neck and, when tongue met skin, lightly tracing a figure-eight pattern on that page skin, nails caressed the back of Stacy's neck and lower back.

Then, like a light switch thrown, the tempo changed, and Jennifer dived her head in, pressing her lips deep against Stacy's neck. Her kisses were passionate, separated only by sucks, the occasional nibble, and once when Jennifer's head was thrown back and a throaty "oh fuck, you taste good," escaped her lips. Jennifer worked her way back upwards to Stacy's chin, then her lips, and attacked them again. Stacy's lips were so full that kissing them felt like kissing delicious, soft pillows and Jennifer luxuriated in the fact that her new, softer lips allowed her to feel that sensation even more. She pulled back from the kiss and looked down at Stacy for the briefest of moments. "I love you," she said, and then dived back in for more.
 
Every time Stacy tried to think, to pull back from the fact she was kissing and being kissed by a girl instead of a boy, Jennifer drove reason from her mind. The lips were Jennifer but the knowledge of Stacy's erogenous zones and the will that plundered them with kisses and nipping bites and sweet sucking came from her past life. Once she almost had it, was about to say stop but Jennifer's lips pressed into her own and Jennifer's tongue silenced Stacy's with a deep kiss that left their tongues twined around each other like the coils of the serpent in the Garden of Eden. When Jennifer said I love you while staring into Stacy's blue eyes, the pale skin of Stacy's face that was growing blotchy with arousal flushed even more, as if she was feverish, and Stacy put her arms around Jennifer's neck and pulled her in closer, mouth wet and inviting more kisses. Not content to be a passive partner any longer, Stacy rolled, pushing her left foot hard against the bed and using the leverage to flip the two of them so she wound up on top. Her hips were atop Jennifer, legs splayed on either side so Stacy's crotch pressed into the top of Jennifer's mons.

As she'd done in the past with Jason, Stacy put her hands on Jennifer's shoulders and pressed hard on them, pinning Jennifer to the bed. With Jason it had been him playing along, and though Jennifer was stronger than Stacy she wasn't as strong as she had been and would have real difficulty pushing Stacy off. "Uh uh," she warned when Jennifer started to reach her hands out to touch her. "No touching without permission." When she was satisfied Jennifer wouldn't, Stacy sat back on her bottom, resting more weight on Jennifer, and began to pull her hair back before slipping the elastic hairtie that had become dislodged off her wrist and into service holding the high, sloppy ponytail she formed. Stacy put her hands on her own hips, looking with a serious, almost confused look down into Jennifer's face, and gave a slow, gyrating roll of her hips, then another. It usually drove Jason mad, but she had no idea how Jennifer would take it and Stacy's blue eyes searched the other girl's face.
 
What Stacy was doing didn't feel amazing to Jennifer the way rubbing her clit did yesterday, but there was a sensual beauty to it. It felt intimate and deeply fulfilling, even if it wasn't sending her to new heights of ecstacy. It was sending her to new heights of arousal, however, and Jennifer felt her lower lips moisten intensely with the erotic motions of Stacy's hips. Maybe it was watching her take control, maybe it was the memory of how good this would have felt if she still had a cock, but Jennifer was getting wetter every moment that Stacy grinded her hips above her.

Jennifer's body trembled in need and her lip quivered as she started at Stacy. Her eyes stared at those deep blue oceans with an intensity to match her arousal and she tried to speak. It took a few halting tries, her voice didn't seem to work right, but finally she was able to get out what she needed to say. "What...what does it feel like to have your...your breasts sucked? Show...show me."
 
"Can we, can we just...I'm not saying no," Stacy said, face sincere but obviously worried about how Jennifer would take it. "It's just... It's different," she said and reached out to take Jennifer's hand before the brunette could take it as rejection and pull away. "It's not bad. Jennifer, I swear it's not bad. You're so pretty and you're still...him, in my heart. I want to it's just, different," she said and squeezed Jennifer's hand hard, not letting go of it. "I never told Jason this, but I made out with a girl one time in school. We kissed, and touched each other a little bit, upstairs," she added and nodded towards Jennifer's breasts. "And I like it but it was so scary too. Like I was doing something bad or wrong. God, I felt so messed up. So conflicted. Like I was guilty of something bad but I know it wasn't. If we'd had more to drink we probably would have, you know, made love."

Stacy fell silent, trying to read Jennifer's face and express how much she loved her even if the idea of sex was still odd, still unusual. "Can we slow down, just a little bit? Or maybe, like... go out on a date? Get to feel more comfortable and make it a little more romantic? And God, get some wine in me," Stacy added and laughed. "Would you, Jennifer Sivaslian, go out with me?"
 
Jennifer put her weight on her elbows and propped herself up a bit. Then, using Stacy's waist as a counter-balance, pulled herself into a sitting position so that she and Stacy were face to face, Stacy on top of her, mere breaths apart. She leaned in, purposely exaggerating a movement to the sides Stacy would know she was kissing her cheek and not her mouth. The kiss was light, delicate, almost tentative.

"I could kiss you deeply now," Jennifer said, her voice still slightly husky from the raw arousal within her. "I want you and I'm, weird as this is to say, really wet. I know I could kiss you and pull you down on top of me." She wrapped her arms around Stacy, leaned her forehead against Stacy's. "Our tongues would entwine, our bodies would. We wouldn't have to do anything you weren't comfortable with. I'd eat you out, you know how much I enjoy that anyway, while I touch myself. I could do that and we'd be moaning in pleasure and you wouldn't say no. You'd be screaming yes."

Jennifer took a long breath, shaking against Jennifer. "But I won't. Because I don't want you to do something you might regret later. I want you to be comfortable." This time, the kiss was real and long, but Jennifer stopped it before it became passionate. "Let's go on a date. Get you comfortable with Jennifer. Then see where it goes."
 
"I don't understand. Why can't I go back and see her?" Fluorescent lights made Stacy's skin seem washed out and the smell of antiseptic and sickness in the air of the hospital waiting room made her feel nauseated.

Jennifer had started feeling bad, odd pains and fits of fever, so the girls had cancelled their plans to go out and after an anxious day spent in Jennifer's apartment worrying about it, they'd finally convinced each other to go to the hospital. At first Stacy had wondered if Jennifer was about to start but then the symptoms had grown more pronounced and frequent and not at all what she'd expect from Jennifer's cycle kicking in for the first time. Poor Jennifer, she had no idea what was coming and hadn't had years of thinking about it and talking to older women and other girls to kind of prepare herself. It was going to be tough for her.

"You're not her next of kin," the nurse, no the medical receptionist actually, told Stacy.

"I, look, I've gone back before to see friends in the hospital, even in the emergency room. What's going on? Why can't I go back there?" Stacy leaned to the side, as if by looking around the woman she could somehow make the doors leading back into the ER unlatch and come open.

"She's no longer in the ER," the woman told Stacy. "She's been moved to close observation and visitors who aren't next of kin aren't allowed. She said you're her girlfriend, right?"

"Yes," Stacy answered then felt briefly ashamed of it. It was the first time she'd, well, been outed as what people thought was a lesbian for having a girlfriend and wasn't that messed up? "What do you mean close observation? What's wrong? I want to see her!" The woman sidestepped as Stacy tried to go around her and blocked the redhead from continuing on.

"The doctor ordered close observation, that's all I can tell you since you're not immediate family. Now I need you to go sit down in the waiting room or I will call security. Do you understand me?" A hard glance from years of dealing with people far more unruly and stronger than Stacy sent the redhead a message that she wasn't going to be trifled with.

"I don't understand anything," Stacy said, hands on the back of her head, squeezing hard enough to hurt as if the pressure and pain could somehow put all the pieces bouncing around together again. "Can you, can you just tell her I'm still out here? Please? I'll go sit down and not make a scene, but please," she reached out and put her hand on the receptionist's forearm. "I need Jennifer to know I'm here even if I'm not physically beside her. It's important after everything that's happened."

"I'll see if the doctor will allow it," the receptionist said then reached out and firmly removed Stacy's hand. "Now go sit down."

The chair was hard and just tall enough so that her feet didn't comfortably rest on the ground. After getting Jennifer back to a room and learning it was going to be a while, Jennifer asked Stacy to go get herself some coffee and Jennifer some tea while they waited. There had been a line, the weekend making the ER something of a mad house and the hospital cafeteria had been light staffed so it took almost half an hour to get back, only to be denied entry. Beside her on the floor the two cups of hot drink cooled, forgotten. What was going on? Was Jennifer okay? Well, obviously she wasn't okay but she was okay as far as being a woman, right? Stacy looked to see if the receptionist was watching, then looked away when she found her staring right at Stacy as if knowing she was going to try to get past the doors.

It hurt a little bit in her heart when she opened her phone to text Jennifer and saw Jason's name and the emojis she'd added around it. Changing it meant that yet another tie to Jason was gone, and Stacy hadn't found the courage to edit it yet. She hoped Jennifer had her phone and would get the text.

They won't let me in.

They said they moved you. I'm scared.

Are you okay? Call me!!!
 
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