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Forgotten Desires (The Duchess & Mr. M)

He held her close to his chest, his cool, unbeating, unbreathing chest, and felt her radiate heat, heard the wind in her lungs and the rush of sweet sweet blood through her veins and arteries and wondered. He wondered if she recognized what her little visions and dreams might be. He wondered if she could tell how much turmoil he was in right now. He wondered what it was that was on the edge of his memory, something forgotten through time or effort, that seemed to tickle at him on a subliminal level. But mostly, he wondered what sort of woman he'd randomly chanced upon, that could encounter the extent of his savagery (well, not the full extent, but she'd seen hints of what he was capable of), and could still... could forgive him, of all things.
 
She breathed softly and laid against him him, she didn't feel the heartbeat, or the breath through his lungs, she placed her hand up on his chest and gently stroked his cold skin softly, she didn't mind that he was like this and that made her wonder if there was something wrong with her, but she didn't look to much into it, she pulled back slightly and looked up at him " do you remember your givin name?" she asked watching his face and pushing her curled hair back to get a better look up at him, she felt that maybe now was the time to ask this, she hoped he would tell her but she had a feeling he wouldn't want to, or just didn't remember
 
"My given name?" His brow furrowed in thought. "I'm not sure I remember. It's been so long..." He hummed as he thought. "I think... I think it was... Mikhail? Or Michael, to the English." He looked at her and smiled, as if he'd achieved something notable. "Yes, Michael. That used to be my name."
 
She smiled and reached up and gently kissed him for giving her a smile " Michael then..." she moved her hand up and gently stroked the top of his eyebrow and just stared at him before she stood slowly and moved off him looking down at him and smiled, before yawning softly " you have worn me out now " she blinked slightly and rubbed her eyes softly standing beside him still naked in all her glory.
 
He rose as well. "Then let's put you to bed," he said softly. He walked with her to the door of the library, and a curious thing happened. He found his hand blindly finding hers as they walked, like he needed the contact at some primal level. Which was strange, because he was all about the primal, he was very in-touch with the animal side of his brain, and yet he couldn't identify the impulse which made him hold her hand.
 
Her head snapped around and looked down at their joined hands and blushed slightly before shivering at the cold floor when they came to her room, she looked around and then back to him smiling softly and moving forward and kissed him sweetly moving her other hand down to his and took it softly before pulling back and smiling again at him " this is new for me...."
 
"It is... a little new to me, too," he admitted. He gently squeezed her hand, and smiled at her, a bit hesitantly, as they came to her door. He opened the door for her, and gestured inward. The room was small, but that helped keep it warmer; the embers of the fireplace were still lively, but needed to be stoked. He'd let her in first, though, before he took care of her needs. It was only polite...
 
She smiled at him " will you...go to your room tonight?" she asked quietly as she sat on the uncomfortable bed placing her hands on her knees and looked at him again shivering slightly from the cold and brought the thick blanket up to wrap around her body to keep herself at least a tad bit warmer than she was feeling.
 
"I... I must," he breathed, shaking his head. "It's part of the curse. Whenever I can, I must spend the day amid my earth. I have a chamber, a... " he didn't mention the coffin; that would be entirely too creepy, and even he knew that. "A place, specially prepared and protected. We, those like me, are at our most vulnerable during the day, which is why we primarily rest then. We... we can move about, if we need to, but our powers are diminished or gone." Bram Stoker would have that right, actually: sunlight didn't destroy him, though there were bloodlines that were more vulnerable to it than he. But he didn't like it, it was painful to his senses and sapping to his strength, so he preferred to take that time lying as a corpse, as his body naturally wanted to as the sun rose.

He put wood on the fire, stoked it up, and made sure the heat spread out into the room. He didn't usually put much wood in his slave quarters, but he knew now he would, just like he let her keep the large warm comforter with her, just like he knew he'd have to replace the sagging old mattress that he even now could hear was crumbling away in the center. It wasn't that he couldn't afford it, it was that it hadn't mattered before, and one didn't waste resources on things that don't matter. But now it mattered.
 
She nodded slowly and held the blanket closer to her " alright then..if you must go then go i will be fine " she gave him a reassuring smile and turned away from him to climb carefully into the bed and pulled the blankets more around her to keep her body warm through the day as they both slept " good night Michael " she called to him and smiled knowing he probably liked to be called by his name instead of Duke or anything else.
 
"Goodnight," he whispered, and closed the door. Significantly, he did not lock it.

He ghosted through the rooms, barely making a sound or leaving an impression, looking at it all. It was just stuff, now. Moreso than usual, rather. It didn't seem to have any enjoyment of its own, any presence, any vitality. And what was the change?

She was. It was as if he couldn't see the joy in things like he used to, anymore. Not unless she was there. Troubling.

And then the day was dragging on him, and he seeped through the slats and gates and barriers to his coffin, where he settled in for the day.
 
It was mid day when she woke shivering slightly, she sat up in her bed and breathed softly closing her eyes and telling herself that it was just a dream, she brushed her hair out of her face and looked around the fire had started to die down and her eyes just watched the flames dance beautifully in hearth, she thought of everything and wondered just how beautiful the sun was at this time of day, she looked around the windowless room and suddenly felt cold again.

She got out of bed and grabbed her night gown slipping it on then trying the door, she smiled when she found it open and looked around, she moved down the hall just looking around now, she wasn't able to do this while he was around because her attention was always drawn to something else... or someone else. She then came to a door she had seen but never went in, and now she was curious.

She placed her hand on the door noob and instantly jumped backwards she blinked slightly and looked at her hands to see slight marks at the tips of them , she looked at the door again and curled her hand slightly into a fist before reaching to touch the door but finding she couldn't she frowned again and moved away from the door not going to bother with it... something was in there that he didn't want her to see and he was doing a good job of keeping her out, she walked away from the door and settled into the library before getting a stress mark on her forehead , her curiosity just killing her to know what was in there, she calmed herself and laid down on the couch not going to worry with it now.
 
It wasn't until sunset that he stirred again; he knew then, as he came to consciousness, that she had been up and about, had tried his door. There were senses he had that operated even in his death-like state during the day; he just couldn't react until he aroused, awakened. He ghosted out through the wood and barriers, oozing like mist through cracks and keyholes, and went to find her, dozing in the library. He went to her side and stared down at her, his emotions in a roil. Just last year, she would have been dead for being out of her room without his permission. Then again, he had left her door unlocked, so it was his own fault. His affection for her was warring with his centuries-old instincts on how to treat the humans under his control, but all that he showed was silent contemplation. He knelt by her, and stroked her cheek. "Wake up," he murmured in a soft voice.
 
She drew in a deep breath and rolled slightly opening her eyes slowly and staring at the ceiling, she brought her hand up and rubbed her eyes before looking around then felt her eyes land on him, she froze where she was suddenly feeling oddly cold, she broke out of her statue like state and sat up slowly yawning and turning her feet around to place her feet on the rug " good evening.... i couldn't sleep last night... bad dream.... so i came out here to try and read myself back to sleep" she reached down and picked up the fallen book delicately closing it and setting it on the table before looking at him again. She didn't know if she had done anything wrong he always held the same look on his face... unreadable as always.
 
"That's fine, Charis. I'm pleased you could find something to help you rest. But it's time to get up and move about. You're no doubt feeling a little weak; let's get breakfast started. Some good beef and strong tea to get that blood rebuilding." He smiled gently as he helped her to her feet and escorted her toward the kitchen.

"It occurs to me I'll need to go out to make some actual purchases, so I'd better go before the shops close. Silly diurnal humans!" he chuckled softly, hiding the note of real scorn and annoyance beneath some gentle joking. "I will see you started, and then start off myself, yes?"
 
She eyed him suspiciously and stopped in the middle of the door looking at him and crossing her arms " Ok Michael did you tell me last night that you would let me go out and shop around?" she asked and tilted her head slightly at him hoping he does remember that promise, she walked up to him and placed her hands on his shoulders and getting closer to him " or do you not trust me?" she looked up at him with those eyes and pouted out that bottom lip.
 
He stared at her, his eyes widening slightly. "I... I had, actually. I'd forgotten completely. But you are correct: a promise is a promise, and I do trust you."

Despite his long-practiced paranoia, and his utter contempt (when he thought of them at all) for his slaves, he found he really did trust her. In its way, that continued to be shocking to him, just as his casual murder and barbarity would have been to her, if she'd known it from the very start.

"And... that will actually fit my plans well. Let's get you started getting ready. I promise not to leave without you, then. I shall have to make a few preparations myself..."
 
She smiled at him and nodded slowly before kissing his cheek softly before pulling away and went to her room where she had left her dress, she looked at the corset and tossed it away not feeling like wearing it at the moment, she then thought about how long she had been down here, she moved over to her bed and looked next to the bed and counted slowly, she sat back on her rump and rubbed her face " good god, four months" she frowned slightly and got up walking over to her dress while pulling her night gown off in the process and laying it on her made up bed, she pushed her hair back slightly and pulled the dress on and left alot of layers off, it was spring and the air would be cool, she looked back at the door as she pulled her hair up ontop of her head and pined it back letting her curls dangle slightly behind her, she saw how long it had gotten and felt she was in need of a trim, maybe another time, tonight was about food" Michael... "she said quietly while walking out of her room and looking around for him as she walked and started talking again knowing he could hear her " i am due for a trim soon, maybe in a couple days a can get it cut?" she asked and moved to the entrance bending down and putting her shoes on the floor before stepping in them.
 
He stepped out of the kitchen behind her, fragments of a white dishcloth in his hands; he'd been ripping up cloth strips. "Your hair?" He sounded like he'd never thought of the needs of a haircut before, and indeed, he might not remember ever having done so. "Yes, I suppose so. If this outing goes well, I don't see why you shouldn't be trusted with future outings. After all, proving your trustworthiness ought to have some benefits."

He took her in. "You look lovely. Are you ready?" It would be a moment's work to lift away the locks and tug open the door; the question on his mind was how exposed he should leave the door while they both were gone.
 
She looked back at him and smiled warmly to him " thank you, and you look dashing as always" she then noticed his hands and got a confused look on her face " what are those for" she asked him before looking at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked ok to be seen with him and when she was ready she stepped through the door before him and looked around before turning back to him to watch him close the door, it sometimes awed her that he was so strong and sometimes she forgot what he was, because he was pleasant to be around as well as to talk to, she was happy here, but she would like more time away and in the sunlight.
 
"These," he said, raising the strips of cloth, "are breadcrumbs."

He waited to explain until they were outside of their chambers, in the tunnel. "You don't know your way back here as yet, and until you learn it, you need something to follow." They walked some distance to an intersection, the first turn, and before he reached the turn, he paused, and tied one of the cloth fragments around a convenient pipe. "There. Now when you come back, you will reach this intersection and look for a sign, and when you see this, you'll know this is the passage you need."

He smiled, and led the way to the next intersection.
 
She smiled and nodded following him down the intersection watching the markers, " i like to think that i have a pretty good memory, but this will help, unless somone takes them down" she said and moved closer to him but didn't touch him knowing that in this society that unless you were married you didn't touch, she spotted the market and waited for him to notice it before she said anything.
 
When they finally came to the surface, he tied his last little bit of cloth around the knob to the basement door. Then he offered her his arm; it was a gentelmanly habit he'd picked up in earlier eras, and though it felt strange to be doing so to a slave he'd bought not long ago, he nonetheless did so automatically. He didn't care much for the current era's stand-offishness and prudery, but then he didn't pay much attention to it anyway. So he strode with her grasping his arm, clearly under his protection, until they approached the market. He knew it was near from the sound and smell of it, but it wasn't until it came into sight that he reacted.

"Here you are then," he breathed. "Go and purchase what you would like." He handed over a few pounds sterling, a princely sum for a simple shopping trip in this day and age. "I must tend to my own shopping. I will see you at home? I expect to be there first; I can open the door for you."
 
She watched him for a moment before getting a scared look on her face, she had never wandered around alone before and it was rather nerving, she frowned and looked at him taking his hands gently and looking up at him " are you sure.... i have never shopped alone..." she looked back at the market before nodding, she mentally smacked herself, she wasn't scared of someone like him, but she was scared of walking around alone, she sighed to herself and turned from him looking at the market " i shouldn't be long" she said and looked at him one last time before slipping from his fingers gently and walked through the market holding the little sack close to her tightly as she looked around at the different foods and breads, and figured she should make something nice for herself for a couple nights, after all she had to buy her food for the month, she smelled of different seasonings and herbs making her nostrils flare with excitement, and even stopped to admire a few trinkets, she gazed at one in particular it was simple golden chain with a little green emerald at the end with a trio of diamonds linking it to the chain, she moved away from it and went on her way. She had gotten alot and it made her feel like a pig but all of this was to fix two large meals that would last her weeks, she carried everything in her arms and had stuck the money pouch down her dress to where nobody would get to it unless they ripped her dress off, she didn't have any problems following the trail he left for her and moved down the stairs and placing her bags down before going back up and closing the hatch, she walked through looking around for the next sign and smiled when she found it but also paying special attention to were she was going, she found the last one and looked up to the doorway, you think he would leave it open since she was coming back, she waited for a moment before watching it open slowly.
 
He'd sensed her approaching, and finished up this preparations so he could meet her at the door. He smiled gently at her and took her heavy sack as if it weighed nothing. "Welcome home. Let me take that for you. Please, come in. Did you have any difficulty getting back?" He shut the door behind her, latching it firmly with the heavy locks. He wasn't thinking so much about keeping her in, any longer, but he was still quite determined to keep strangers and hunters out.
 
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