The Only Rules That Matter: Legacy (Corsair and Madam Mim)

[TheCorsair]

"Mostly exclusive," Sam yawned. "Mostly. Jes' Alice there, once. An'... an' BD." She leaned into her lover, letting the fatigue of trying to heal wash over her like tides. "He was mah first time wit' a man, y'know? Felt nice." Her left hand absently rubbed Jackie's stomach again. "Not as nice as you, mind. But he was still fun."

Jackie, for her part, didn't seem to be taking the idea well. In her foggy state, she wasn't quite sure why. "Nothin' ta worry 'bout, hun. 'S'like y'tol' me, when Ah was late an' thinkin' Ah might be in a family way. Ah ain't goin' nowhere, an' y'ain't gotta do this alone." Her eye was pressed into Jackie's side, and her bandaged socket felt like it was burnin'. "'Sides, hun. Ah kin see him. Reckon he's a him, anyhow. He's like a little burnin' star, bright an' beautiful. Jes' like mommy."

Alice shifted, looking from the nearly-hyperventilating Jackie to the half-conscious Sam. Then she glanced back at Anne Marie with a question in her eye. "Maybe," she began, then hesitated and tried again. "Sam?"

"Yep?" Sam replied, not bothering to turn her head. The pretty black woman looked like a rainbow made of fragments of silver and gold.

"You... you know you're probably just seeing things, right?" Alice hesitated, unsure how to comfort Jackie or talk sense into Sam. "Just delirious, you know?" She glanced at Anne Marie, then squared her shoulders. "But... just in case... I, well, I know a lady. She knows herbs, and such. And, uhm, she, well, she knows how to help out a girl who's, well, you know." A vague gesture in Jackie's direction. "Because, well, sometimes bein' pregnant ain't such a blessin', y'know?"

 

[Madam Mim]

"Will you stop?" Jackie's voice was shrill as she knocked Sam's hand away from her belly, and she winced like she'd been slapped when Sam called her mommy. She wasn't a mommy, she was never going to be a mommy, and she sure as shit wasn't going to go track B.D. down and tell him that--

"You...you know you're probably just seeing things, right?" Alice spoke slowly, hesitantly, looking between them. "Just delirious, you know?"

She nodded desperately. "That's right. You're just seein' things, Dhateste. Like during the Sunrise Ceremony. You're awful hurt, and...and um..." Why was it suddenly so hard to breathe? Why was her tongue so thick? Her chest heaved and she only noticed her nails drawing blood from her palms because her fingers ached from clenching them so hard. Alice offered to take her to a lady she knew, a lady who knew herbs and helped girls.

Jackie pushed herself off of the sofa, leaving Sam to fall or catch herself. She didn't have the right mind to care at the moment. She paced feverishly, stumbling into a side table as her vision narrowed to a pinprick. It wasn't a baby. It was cancer, like Doc LaMonte had said. It was cancer, and now that they knew it was there she could find herself a surgeon and get it fixed. She lost awareness of the room around her, focusing only on the threadbare carpet as she paced. Suddenly she was stopped by a pair of strong, thin hands on her shoulders.

"Jackie," Anne Marie said softly, comfort in her voice. "Know that you would not be alone. I myself have had this thing done." She hadn't done it; she hadn't elected to do it. Her son had been wanted and loved, but she had been married to a monster. It had been done to her. To her son. "We would be with you. There is no shame in not wishing for motherhood."

"I...ha..." Jackie's tongue was still thick. Her chest still heaved despite Anne Marie's gentle coaching, and her vision was still narrowed. "N...not yet," she finally managed. "I'll um, I'll talk to Sammy about it when she's feelin' better, y'know?"

There was a frown in Anne Marie's voice. "Mon cherie, you have a limited window--"

"I said not yet." She snapped and had to use what felt like all the muscles in her neck to drag her gaze up to where she could actually see Anne Marie. "Sam's not in her right head. She deserves a say too."

Anne Marie sighed, then nodded. "Very well. Samantha?" She looked over to Sam, still on the couch.

 

[TheCorsair]

Sam blinked, trying to process Anne Marie’s question. Or should that be winked? She only had the one eyelid, after all. Did that..?

No, damnit. This wasn’t the time for woolgathering. Jackie was clearly troubled, and clearly needed her. So she drew a deep breath, and forced herself to sit up straight. “Ah reckon…” she began, and then a wave of dizziness hit her. She swayed, then leaned against the arm and back of the loveseat, and focused on breathing for a minute.

“You all right?” Alice asked.

“Reckon Ah ain’t,” Sam managed with a weak laugh, then waved her hand as the woman came to help. “Nah, nah, it’s all right. Ah’m too damn stubborn ta fall over.”

Taking a few long, deep breaths, she focused hard on Jackie until the dizziness passed. “Ah’m right pleased t’think Ah got a say in this, Jackie. Ah really am. But…”

Carefully she climbed to her feet, then crossed the room to her lover. It was a cautious one foot in front of the other walk, not her usual confident stride, but it got her there. “The way Ah reckon it,” she said, wrapping her arms around Jackie, “is that you got th’ final say. Yer th’ one carryin’ th’ baby. If’n y’wanna keep it, then Ah’m right here wit’ ya. An’ if’n y’don’t?” She tightened her hug. “Then Ah’m still here wit’ yeh. Ah’ll love yeh, no matter what y’decide.”

 

[Madam Mim]

Jackie barely registered that Sam had gotten up, let alone the fact that she might need help crossing the floor. She laced her fingers behind her neck while she struggled to get enough air. The room felt suddenly close and excruciatingly crowded. it was all too much. Too fast. Too soon. Why was everyone expecting answers from her?

Then Sam wrapped her arms around her.

Jackie sank into her lover's arms, unable to return the hug but in desperate need of the ability to lean her weight on her so that the two women--drugged and panicky--were essentially holding each other up by propping themselves against each other. When Sam reassured her that the choice was up to her, that she would stand by her no matter what, she nearly broke out into tears. But no; Doc and Alice were still in the room, and though they had become good friends over the weeks together, that was still something too intimate. Instead she sniffed and nodded.

"Let's talk about it in the morning," she mumbled into Sam's shoulder, "when you're sober and I've had some sleep. Alright? It ain't like I'm giving bi--" She cut off, overcome with a wave of nausea at the phrase. It was a minute before she was able to try again. "Ain't like I'm havin' it tomorrow. We can wait a day and talk about it when we're in our right minds. Alright?"

"Bon," Anne Marie agreed, though it wasn't her conversation to have. "This is a good idea. Although do keep in mind that you do have a limited amount of time before it is too late."

"Yeah well tomorrow ain't it, alright Doc?" Jackie snapped, dragging her face out of Sam's shoulder and glaring at the woman. It was the second time she'd reminded her and it was starting to get irritating. "Y'all have a good night. C'mon, Sammy." She managed to wrap her arm around Sam's waist and helped her back to the room. She was sure she'd done enough resting over the past few days, but a little more wouldn't hurt her none.