Am I dreaming?
No...it...it still feels like the bath. It's warm water, warm fluid, but it's all around me, like I'm floating in it, under it, not needing to draw breath. It's dark, but it's not the cucumbers. My eyes are open, but I'm in a dark space, with just the faintest of warm glows allowing me some sight. Not a large space but a
deep space, a
primal space. Filled with a dull, pulsating, comforting noise. Where am I? I'm relaxed, floating...safe. But not floating free. There are tendrils. Warm, strong tendrils, holding me, attached to me. Tendrils of...her. Tendrils from a woman's body. Tendrils grown from her flesh.
And then, her voice. Her disembodied voice, all around me, entering me. First a tender humming, a thundering coo. Is it Kat or is it...someone else? It's so powerful, so compelling. Filling my ears and vibrating through my chest and bones. “
MMMmmmmmm....I love you," it says, a voice so huge and warm and enveloping it makes my eyes go wide and listen...
"I love you so much, Charles. I love you more than any woman ever has, or any woman ever will. I will take care of you. I will take care of you in the ways only a woman can. I will give you everything you need. I will become your home and your comfort. Let me do that. Let my love shape you and mold you...let us become one together..."
My eyes widen more, as I realize where I am. This voice, this disembodied female presence that's speaking to me...it's not
in this space with me. I'm inside of
it, I'm
inside this presence. This huge...female...presence. And these tendrils, holding me. These are bonds, her bonds, attaching me to her. Maternal bonds.
It speaks again.
"Listen, Charles...listen to my heartbeat."
I hear it, now, that dull throbbing noise, all around me. It's the beat of a heart. A huge, monstrous heart.
"Do you hear that, Charles? Do you hear my heart? Do you hear how strong it is? It's so strong, Charles, so strong. It can beat for both of us. Here, listen..."
Again I listen to the throb of the massive, surrounding heartbeat, and now I hear mine as well - a weak pitter, quicker, under hers. Two heartbeats which - as I listen - begin to change. Or, rather,
mine begins to change. It start to slow, it falls into rhythm with hers, and it starts to fade...
"Hear that, Charles...and see, now. See what I can do. See what I can do for you. See how only I can care for you the way you want. See how you need me, how only I can fill your needs”
The voice speaks to me in a way so profound I think I might cry, or melt. I don't want it to ever leave me, but already I feel this space fading, myself drifting. The voice is fading as well, as everything goes black...
"I love you, Charles...let me be what you want me to be..."