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The person above you awakens in a hospital bed and YOU say:

I'm sorry but the doctors couldn't save your whole left side but the good news is you're all right now.
 
The surgeon removed your rock hard abs. You can finally chest bump again without rupturing some poor souls spleen.
 
The surgeon confirmed you are NOT an "extra-terrestrial". Any more attempts to try and "flash your heart" are likely to be fatal.
 
It appears the surgery was a success. Congratulations on your diamond studded, gold crown being grafted into your skull. Please be advised the additional weight may put your body off balance.
 
Welcome back to the world of the living. Wait. Why are you looking at me like that? I am not for your sucking pleasure!
 
I'm afraid the surgery was unsuccessful. It turns out your heart doesn't want to be replaced.
 
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