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Difficult and uncommon kinks to find partners for

Rudolph Quin

Rudolph Quin

Mistaken for some sort of scoundrel
Withdrawn
Joined
Aug 2, 2009
Location
here
Exactly what the title says. This place isn't necessarily a place to advertise for your rps but for discussion purposes, let's each list those niche kinks that are difficult to find rp partners for. In a different thread, I posited the theories that 1. either these difficult/uncommon kinks aren't actually uncommon at all or 2. that the people who often have difficulty finding partners for these specific kinks might accidentally find each other in a thread like this.

Is that what a req thread is for? Yes, but this is also to sort of doubly shed light on some misconceptions people have, not only about these kinks(we can actually use this space to inform people about rare or uncommon kinks or pairings) but also about their supposed rarity.

One I hear all the time is foot fetish. It's not a rare fetish but I do think it is an extremely polarized one - you're either open to exploring or you're directly opposed to it. And I think a lot of times, those who's first gut reaction is disgust, might give those who have the fetish the feeling that it is not widely accepted or seen as normal. Feet are seen in a lot of Western cultures as gross, ugly, or unsanitary, despite the general wealth and health of these cultures and the predominance of taking care of the feet and accessorizing them in everything from toe rings and pedicures to toed socks and heels. Is it something that everyone finds sexually exciting or stimulating? No. But there are a lot of people who, although not willing to make it the central focus of their rp, aren't opposed to foot play being included or exploring such, if you ask.

So, let's hear it! What fetishes/kinks do you feel like you can't seem to find interest for? Let's talk about it, illuminate why that might be and maybe even stumble upon a partner for you(or at the very least, someone who also has that kink that you can commiserate with).
 
Most of mine that are difficult to resolve revolve around either gender or role. Or both simultaneously.

Genderbending
Crossdressing
Gender Transformation
Gender Role Reversal
Pet Play
Mistress/Slave
Gentle Dom/Sub (Not interested in Hardcore BDSM, Degredation, Humiliation, ect.)

Sex doesn't have to be the main focus of these niche kinks, in fact I enjoy a lot of story and development. What makes this difficult is I am only interested in female characters. While my gender and role are pretty flexible and malleable, my orientation is not. I get a lot of offers from gay and bisexual men, but I'm just not interested.

I do notice that I seem to have an easier time getting my subbie itch scratched when I dawn a more feminine persona and play a shemale or transgender character. Being just a Subbie Boy is rather difficult.
 
I'm actually surprised about the petplay and crossdressing being hard to find! It's been a while since I've delved into that and certainly not as a main story idea. One thing that I do agree is hard to find is the gender transformation but maybe I'm misinterpreting your meaning behind it. Do you mean a sort of supernatural story, where the gender changes happen as a plot point, possibly by magic or some other form of instant body transformation? Or do you mean a story involving a transgendered character going through the process of transitioning, like a real-world type story? Because I have searched for the latter before and although I've gotten bites for it, it's a particular story dynamic. Like, I've got a female character and they've got a female character and occasionally, my character turns into a sexually aggressive and dominant guy occasionally, through magic-means. That's the way I came at it story-wise and had mixed results as far as people being interested, less so in recent years.

What does the gender role reversal entail? Is that just pegging or is it more in depth? I'm actually interested because it sounds like it'd be fun to do in a story and I know you said it doesn't necessarily involve sex but more story focused.

Like we discussed in the other thread, I've never had luck finding a mistress for a male sub character and I definitely think that is something that is really rare around here.
 
Haha, yeah. I notice that when I am a woman with a penis, its easier to get my needs fulfilled while being a man in a dress doesn't work as well. Funny, how that works. @_@ As for pet play, perhaps I haven't promoted it enough? *shrug*

Hmmm...well, I sort of envisioned Gender Transformation as changing from one sex to another through magical/supernatural or even scientific means. (And perhaps mixing genders or going back and forth between genders) But now that you have mentioned the transitioning it sounds really interesting...so I guess both? XD

Pegging could be involved, but the main focus would be on actual Gender Roles and switching them around. Things like, The woman is the breadwinner and the man is the Stay-at-home husband. Or, the girl gets a crush on a guy, asks him out, goes on a date, takes the lead, ect. I actually just discovered a Role Reversal Tumblr today and I am really enjoying it so far. It ranges from pure sexual to kind of...."aww how cute!" Stuff.
 
Omg, Shovel! <3 So much yes! I think you and I have a lot of these kinks in common! And not only that but I have a willingness to change stuff up as far as character genders and sexualities and stuff.
 
Really? Wow. That was easy. XD

Guess we will have to hash something out then, huh? .3.
 
My most common:

Blood
Vore
Death

Blood doesn't always mean vampires and it doesn't always mean there has to be a lot of it. Sometimes a little can go a long way depending on my writing partner. I can write with either extreme and people tend to think that it means there has to be a zillion slashes everywhere when this isn't necessarily the case even if it's something I'm willing to write/explore. I think the biggest thing is that with blood people automatically turn to vampires. Maybe this is out of fear of exploring blood as a concept within an RP? Perhaps. But, I don't think this is always a necessary factor and, to be honest, it can be quite tiresome when people constantly respond to an RP requesting blood with some vampire trope instead of something else that might involve knives or something even more unique.

Vore is something that people also tend to have misperceptions over. Now, while it means eating someone...it doesn't necessarily mean you have to eat them entirely (though it can, it depends on how extreme you want to go). But it can be quite erotic if you attack it from the angle that you're trying to get your character as close to your opposite character as possible, so one quite literally takes a bite out of the other to gain that closeness. Of course, this can link to the above blood idea. A great example of vore, at least in my own opinion, is in the Anime 'Rin: Daughters of Mnemosyne'. There's a scene where Rin starts to get consumed by an Angel, but stops it by killing him. But both are quite willing and consensual about the process before she snaps back to reality and finally stops him. See, their bodies are drawn together and desperate for the other. So, the Angel wishes to consume hers in order to achieve total closeness and she wants that closeness and thus doesn't mind being consumed while they have sex in the process.

Death. Honestly, people cringe at this one like I've never seen. I can't even begin to describe how many people get bothered when you mention the 'D' word. Suddenly, you get angry people or people trying to persuade you to go a different way with your ideas. But really, the way I see it, death is quite natural. It happens to everyone, so why not your characters? Besides, there's heaps of way you can tackle this to make everyone happy as well. You can bring in concepts of regeneration depending on the story, you can use it as a means to bring in more characters or as a plot device to kill off extraneous characters or even prominent characters, sometimes it just makes more impact to kill off a main character towards the end of a story to pack that final punch bring emotions to the forefront for the readers. Death doesn't always have to be about violence--though it certainly can be and I'm hardly opposed to writing it as such--but it can be about several things. The key is that it makes sense with the story, the natural progression of how the characters grow and develop and the way in which such an event might impact everyone involved in the process of the story. An added note here....the good thing about the fictional world is that our characters are indeed fictional. We can always bring them back for another story if we're really that die-hard or we always create more characters for our stories to fill the void and isn't it wonderful that we can create lots of characters?

Anyway, those are probably my most difficult writing fetishes.
 
I can definitely see how those each are hard to find partners for. Vore in particular because it brings up weird connotations - not least of which, for me, the subgenre of inflation fetish, where the eater eats the subject whole in one gulp and it's distorted and almost cartoonish the visuals it brings up. A lot of times, personally, seeing that as a request, that is what comes to mind, particularly that it should be a plot focus. And I think that can be a misconception with a list of kinks, especially outside of f-list, where anything on the list has this perception of being "integral".

Quix and I were talking about this the other day in his journal, mostly me griping about the struggle when you like a certain thing but although you'd like to see it happen, it's 1. not required for every story and 2. it does not have to be a plot focus. For instance, I like rape as a fantasy and a plot point but I do not particularly care for consistent non-consent to be the mode of interaction, nor do I like to entirely base my stories around rape scenarios. I like it for the emotional impact, the violence of the situation and the resulting drama as the characters try to deal with the fucked up thing that just happened. So, not necessarily turned on by the rape itself, so much as the emotional power it has for characters and situations. So.... what do you do? Do you list it and have someone who would normally be open to rping with you, but interprets "rape" in your list as a requirement, pass you by, or do you not list it and have those people who do understand the multi-layered story pass you by for being too vanilla?

Death is a great one that is really hard to find partners for and it's very understandable why it is difficult to approach. Sometimes people use their character as a self-representation, or, even if their character is nothing like them irl, it is like a video game where it's about the self-immersion. Thus they get attached to their "alter ego" and the things you have happen to it. It's not a lot of people's fantasy to want to die. Also, a lot of times, it is a big investment, putting all of this work and time into a character and a story and people will see "death" as an invalidation of all of that. Instead of seeing "knocking down the tower of blocks you just built" as part of the fun and thrill in the whole "building" experience, they get defensive over watching something they created being destroyed.

Thank you for those additions, dark! ^^
 
Shovel: You have a hard time finding gender bender plots? I'm shocked really. Though I do understand. it's a major kink of mine and I often have the same problem when approaching it. People act weird about a character starting as one and changing to the other. If you feel like setting something up let me know. I'd love to talk some ideas over.

For me, it's a few things.
Characters over 50 (seriously, what's the obsession with youth? Can't we do something where characters have age or wisdom)
Incest with a story element. No one wants to do this, they just want a crappy porno and then to dump it when they're bored. Fuck them.
Non exotic places and settings. I've yet to hear anyone agree to do some random place like Hoboken, NJ if only to focus more on characters.
Mythical creatures not named Vampires and werewolves. Seriously, Medusa? Titan? .......absolutely anything from Germanic mythology.
among others. But those ones stick out to me .
 
Beastiality

I’ve found a few partners willing to do this, but it’s not a common kink most are willing to do. I have to admit, even I was skeptical, turned off even by the thought of doing this in a role play. What helped me change my mind was I took the time to find some videos and watch. I was actually aroused by it, and I knew I could role play this kink.

Death in a role play is something I have barely scratched the surface with. I did a role play where my character actually took the life of another man. Considering the build up to that moment, it was cathardic. Would I do it again? Yes.

Vore, on the other hand, is a kink I haven’t explored in a role play, but I think I would like to give it a try.

Role playing, to me, involves finding your limits and pushing them. Role plays that consistently are about the same kinks, the same basic plots, can get old really quickly. Things I never thought I would do in a role play are now what I would like to do or have done. Thank you so much for creating this thread. It’s interesting to see what kinks other are having trouble with.

Gstevens11 : Really? You’re having trouble finding incest partners? Currently I have two partners that I enjoy that kink with, and a third role play that will eventually involve incest as well. I am so sorry you’re having trouble with that one. I hope that changes for you soon.
 
I need to stop agreeing with Rudolph! As mentioned in that conversation on my journal, most of my kinks are contextual, rather than specific acts. There there any many, that aren't on my F-list, or which are stated as a No, that I would quite happily, or even want, to include in a story, as long as they weren't the main, or only, focus, which as Rudolph stated, can tend to be the way it's perceived when mentioned. That's the main reason behind a lot of my 'No's. Even something such as gender-bending wouldn't be beyond the realms of possibility, if it fit into a larger story/theme.

One that did pop into my head as having trouble to find; though I don't consider it 'strange'; is infidelity or cheating. I browse a number of request threads, and there'll be people looking for kinks such as rape, torture, incest, beastiality and bimbofication, then in capital letters at the end will be NO CHEATING, as if that's of a much worse nature, or more taboo, than all of the others they've requested, combined.

The betrayal of trust, danger, and emotional impact, particularly where it's deliberate and ongoing, and the immorality of knowingly causing pain to a loved one, are the themes attract me to writing adultery and infidelity. All I can think of, in regards to many peoples hesitation in playing it, is that it may hit too close to home. Not as something they've directly experienced, but as something which is so 'possible', and that most of us have feared at some stage or another; either that we'd do it, or that our loved one has/is.

Another, which may fit in with DarkAngel's, and AndNich's comments - however, I hesitate to call it a kink or a fetish, as whilst my characters may gain sexual arousal from it, it's not written for that purpose by me - is gore in a sexual context, and graphic/violent descriptions of torture, and death. I've always had a fascination for the dark side of human nature, a love of psychological thrillers and stories which provoke, both novels and movies, and figure if I'm going to do a serial-killer scene, or one about murder, then I want to go the whole hog, and not leave anything out.
 
Agreed Mr. Quixotic. Gore is arousing, and I love it when I can find a partner who can not only write it, but write it well. They are few and far between though. A post that can make you feel something, your heartrate increases, a nervous feeling grips you, and you’re anxious even though you know it’s a role play is what I look for. Not so easy to find. Most guys aren’t into doing that kind of damage to a woman. It’s not a sexual thing that I get from it though. It’s that intense feeling that comes over me that I feed off of. Sadly, it’s harder to find than Tim Tams in the south.

As for infidelity, I actually had a role play start with that, but my partner is beyond busy. I agree that maybe it hits too close to home or in the realm of something that is completely possible for them. It’s also an escape though. The taboo nature of something that you can live out vicariously through your characters is the attraction. The complete loss of trust, much like gore, is also a high. To do a role play, where you see a character literally shattered and forced to pick up the pieces is also a challenge to write. It can be far too easy to write sex, drinking, partying, and even threesomes, but to dig deeper into the emotional subconcious of a character and deal with real life issues can, in fact, be a challenge. That’s what attracts certain writers to certain themes, kinks, and plots.
 
That's true Andy, but in my case, which possibly makes it even harder, I don't look to write opposite a female 'victim', but with a character who will be just as depraved as my own. So it's not so much about 'what my character does to theirs', but in partnership, what each encourage/manipulate the other to do, to meet their own needs. I do have one of those going now, where some of the victims will actually be male.

Which brings me to another point, though I'm not sure if this is derailing the direction of this thread, as it's a theme/concept I struggle to find rather than a kink. (Let me know, if so, and I'll happily delete, xd).

AndNich, you mention;

To do a role play, where you see a character literally shattered and forced to pick up the pieces is also a challenge to write;

and that concept, or one where the male character is, not solely of his own making, the subject of any life-altering experience, emotionally traumatised, placed in unique or unusual situations, or required to grow and change as the story progresses, is something that, for me, is extremely difficult to find. I very rarely get the opportunity of being able to challenge myself to write that kind of character.
 
Mr Quixotic said:
That's true Andy, but in my case, which possibly makes it even harder, I don't look to write opposite a female 'victim', but with a character who will be just as depraved as my own. So it's not so much about 'what my character does to theirs', but in partnership, what each encourage/manipulate the other to do, to meet their own needs. I do have one of those going now, where some of the victims will actually be male.

Which brings me to another point, though I'm not sure if this is derailing the direction of this thread, as it's a theme/concept I struggle to find rather than a kink. (Let me know, if so, and I'll happily delete, xd).

AndNich, you mention;

To do a role play, where you see a character literally shattered and forced to pick up the pieces is also a challenge to write;

and that concept, or one where the male character is, not solely of his own making, the subject of any life-altering experience, emotionally traumatised, placed in unique or unusual situations, or required to grow and change as the story progresses, is something that, for me, is extremely difficult to find. I very rarely get the opportunity of being able to challenge myself to write that kind of character.
Click to expand...

No, it definitely fits with the theme of the thread. It's about those "impossible to find partners for -ideas/desires-" but when making the thread, I decided to focus the OP mostly on the kink aspect since the other is a bit harder to explain. But totally! Let's talk about it.

Can you explain a bit more about this character concept? Sorry, just not sure I understand, because to me, it sounds like something I like to write and usually do. Not necessarily an object acted upon nor submissive, either in the storyline or sexually, but my go-to character, the most sought after and most comfortable for me to play, the aggressive male archetype goes through a lot of shit. I have a kink for not only shaming him for bad behaviors in front a group that will exclude him for them as punishment, but also for the contextual kink of drug addiction. Having gone through addiction myself and something I still struggle with, I like to work through my shit by putting my characters into that situation. Bring them down to the lowest point, fiendishly needing this key to unlocking oblivion, irrespective of the greater impact on himself and those around him, shortsighted and selfish and self-loathing all the while. I like bringing them down to that low and then having them go through a similar healing journey that I myself have, finding something to live for. But in the process of doing this sort of story, sometimes it can manifest in a lot of ways, such as violent behaviors during the high, that they have to own up to and face when they come down from it or when they're sober, or bringing them down to the pitiful angsty depths, tormented by what they've become but being unable to stop, crying and sick with this destructive need.

So, do you mean something like that? Because oftentimes, I find I have no trouble finding people willing to explore masculine depravity and torment. Women like their female characters to be controlled but they like their men brought down to this vulnerable place, this self-induced torture that his masculinity cannot save him from. I've done this type of plotline from everything including berserkers who take instead of love, being willing to care for someone in a homosexual setting and it destroying their identity; murderers/psychopaths being partnered up with that one woman they can trust and being conflicted by their feelings for her and their desire to give into the urges to kill her; and the drug addict that can't seem to love her more than they hate themselves/love the drugs. But when you come at it from a very alpha male portrayal, it makes it easier to swallow and you get a lot more people raising their hands for it.

However, sexually submissive men or simply submissive male characters(meaning they're not exactly great depictions of masculine energy but either more relaxed or more emotional, like that gender role reversal thing Shovel was talking about) are both hard to find partners for, I agree.
 
Also, cheating surprises me, as does the bestiality, especially here. I remember for the longest time, seeing a really long Pokemon thread going in one of the rp sections and I'm pretty sure it wasn't just trainers doing the do with each other. I know that we have a lot of furry and anthro plots going around and werewolves is only second to vampires as far as popularity in an erotic fantasy setting. Depends on how you approach it, I guess?

I agree with Nich, though. Incest is not uncommon. It's probably the most popular plot pairing aside from "teacher/student" and is a big draw, not only here but on bigger erotica sites as well.
 
Rudolph Quin said:
Mr Quixotic said:
That's true Andy, but in my case, which possibly makes it even harder, I don't look to write opposite a female 'victim', but with a character who will be just as depraved as my own. So it's not so much about 'what my character does to theirs', but in partnership, what each encourage/manipulate the other to do, to meet their own needs. I do have one of those going now, where some of the victims will actually be male.

Which brings me to another point, though I'm not sure if this is derailing the direction of this thread, as it's a theme/concept I struggle to find rather than a kink. (Let me know, if so, and I'll happily delete, xd).

AndNich, you mention;

To do a role play, where you see a character literally shattered and forced to pick up the pieces is also a challenge to write;

and that concept, or one where the male character is, not solely of his own making, the subject of any life-altering experience, emotionally traumatised, placed in unique or unusual situations, or required to grow and change as the story progresses, is something that, for me, is extremely difficult to find. I very rarely get the opportunity of being able to challenge myself to write that kind of character.
Click to expand...

No, it definitely fits with the theme of the thread. It's about those "impossible to find partners for -ideas/desires-" but when making the thread, I decided to focus the OP mostly on the kink aspect since the other is a bit harder to explain. But totally! Let's talk about it.

Can you explain a bit more about this character concept? Sorry, just not sure I understand, because to me, it sounds like something I like to write and usually do. Not necessarily an object acted upon nor submissive, either in the storyline or sexually, but my go-to character, the most sought after and most comfortable for me to play, the aggressive male archetype goes through a lot of shit. I have a kink for not only shaming him for bad behaviors in front a group that will exclude him for them as punishment, but also for the contextual kink of drug addiction. Having gone through addiction myself and something I still struggle with, I like to work through my shit by putting my characters into that situation. Bring them down to the lowest point, fiendishly needing this key to unlocking oblivion, irrespective of the greater impact on himself and those around him, shortsighted and selfish and self-loathing all the while. I like bringing them down to that low and then having them go through a similar healing journey that I myself have, finding something to live for. But in the process of doing this sort of story, sometimes it can manifest in a lot of ways, such as violent behaviors during the high, that they have to own up to and face when they come down from it or when they're sober, or bringing them down to the pitiful angsty depths, tormented by what they've become but being unable to stop, crying and sick with this destructive need.

So, do you mean something like that? Because oftentimes, I find I have no trouble finding people willing to explore masculine depravity and torment. Women like their female characters to be controlled but they like their men brought down to this vulnerable place, this self-induced torture that his masculinity cannot save him from. I've done this type of plotline from everything including berserkers who take instead of love, being willing to care for someone in a homosexual setting and it destroying their identity; murderers/psychopaths being partnered up with that one woman they can trust and being conflicted by their feelings for her and their desire to give into the urges to kill her; and the drug addict that can't seem to love her more than they hate themselves/love the drugs. But when you come at it from a very alpha male portrayal, it makes it easier to swallow and you get a lot more people raising their hands for it.

However, sexually submissive men or simply submissive male characters(meaning they're not exactly great depictions of masculine energy but either more relaxed or more emotional, like that gender role reversal thing Shovel was talking about) are both hard to find partners for, I agree.
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Thanks Rudolph, I oftentimes find it difficult to express idea/concepts that are so clearly defined in my own mind, in a way that is clear to others.

I'll try to articulate it briefly, and I'll start with something that I posted on my journal (so, please ignore the 'ranting' aspect of it, as it was posted as a private thought).

'No, I want a plot in which the female character comes in with her own independent motivations, part to play, and goals to achieve; which are totally separate from, and not influenced by, the male character. Her goals and her motivations, her purpose, where she needs to go about attempting to achieve something that she wants"

To me, it's absolutely nothing to do with 'dominance' or 'submissiveness', but an intellectual capacity that both males and females should be equally capable of displaying; an ability to desire something, and to take action to achieve what is they want.

Too often, I find that stories requested are based entirely around 'what the male wants, and how the male goes about getting it', and very rarely do you see a plot where the female comes in with her own goals. That, to me, means a lot of the time, the male's personality is required to remain static; unable to be influenced by the other character's independent motivations or desires, because she possesses none.

My brain, and thought processes, revolve around context, and cause and effect. A female has a rape fantasy, that's fine, and I'm more than happy to play it out for her. However, why does my character want to rape her, what has she done to attract his attention, stir his emotions, or arouse him - either sexually, or otherwise - enough to cause him to perpetrate the act? Or is it simply because 'that's what every man wants to do to any female who crosses his path' or 'he rapes her because he's a rapist'.

A woman wants to be chased, or lusted after; again I can play that, but why? Why her in particular? Before an effect, must come a cause. A lot of it also boils down to the fact that I consider myself largely sapiosexual, which means that physical attractiveness, or 'being female', has very little to do with my (or my characters) being sexually interested in someone. It's who she is.

Not sure if that makes things any clearer, or answer your questions/comments?

Edit: Apologies, Rudolph, as I tend to do, I changed the wording of my post, and added to it, after you'd already quoted it, and began your reply. I'm never happy with my first draft, and rarely content with my fifth, either, XD
 
Mr Quixotic said:
Thanks Rudolph, I oftentimes find it difficult to express idea/concepts that are so clearly defined in my own mind, in a way that is clear to others.

I'll try to articulate it briefly, and I'll start with something that I posted on my journal (so, please ignore the 'ranting' aspect of it, as it was posted as a private thought).

'No, I want a plot in which the female character comes in with her own independent motivations, part to play, and goals to achieve; which are totally separate from, and not influenced by, the male character. Her goals and her motivations, her purpose, where she needs to go about attempting to achieve something that she wants"

To me, it's absolutely nothing to do with 'dominance' or 'submissiveness', but an intellectual capacity that both males and females should be equally capable of displaying; an ability to desire something, and to take action to achieve what is they desire.

Too often, I find that stories requested are are all about 'what the male wants, and how the male goes about getting it'.

My brain, and thought processes revolve around context, and cause and effect. A female has a rape fantasy, that's fine, and I'm more than happy to play it out for her. However, why does my character want to rape her, what has she done to attract his attention, stir his emotions, or arouse him - either sexually, or otherwise - enough to cause him to perpetrate the act.

Or is it simply because 'that's what men do to any female who crosses his path'. A woman wants to be chased, or lusted after; again I can play that, but why? Why her in particular? Before an effect, must come a cause.

Not sure if that makes things any clearer, or answer your questions/comments?
Click to expand...

I got you, and yes, I've heard you articulate this desire before; the way you originally phrased it made it sound more like a role reversal, focused on the man becoming an object in a story, not necessarily in a sexual way but mostly in a plot way, something to be acted upon. Now I see you mean it more in mutual and even give and take of offensive and defensive writing, taking charge.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it also appears to me that what you're talking about isn't necessarily a dominant, confident character; it is merely the idea that she has motivations of her own, thoughts and feelings, spirit within her, so that even if she doesn't say it aloud or take charge of every situation, she has an opinion separate from your character and her actions are more than just reactions, an object being acted upon. That seems to me to be more of a writing issue. Some people come to role-pkaying with very simple needs, so, the storytelling and character development is less important than the going through the motions and the moving parts. For instance, someone just saw the film Spiderman 3 and wants to do a rape rp with Venom and Spiderman. They might come at it less like playing the roles of these two characters, understanding the depth of their personalities and living and acting through these roles to get enjoyment not only out of the plot/scenario but also the thrill of the emotions present; they come at it more like ideas and colors, held distantly from them, writing the sex scene in such a way that you could replace the words and names with just about anything and instantly change the mood, the relationship, and the characters involved.

EDIT: Also, please understand that no one is saying any of these types of role-plays and types of writing are better or worse than the others. This thread is about preference and the trouble some have had finding people whose preferences match up with their own. I truly believe rping is beautiful in the way that it is different and fluid for everyone; everyone's needs can be met, everyone can find a match that works for them and a type of writing that they enjoy engaging with. From something simple and fast like one-liners in a chat program, to long and drawn out, novel length posts that take days at a time to construct. There's no right or wrong way to do it and I would prefer, to keep with the intent of this thread and the positive spirit of the forum, that we continue to keep the language non-judgmental in regards to kink discussion and what we are looking for in regards to writing styles and ideas. You guys have been great so far, let's keep it up! <3
 
Thanks Rudolph, just a very quick reply, as I'm about to pop off here, but yes, your first two paragraph's nail it. If you look at my journal, I actually cut off the part of my quote which referred to the writing aspect of it, so I'm with you there as well.

It's just, I like to have a reason for my character to do things. Saying 'My Father betrayed yours twenty years ago, now your character wants revenge, let's start at the part where you take revenge', doesn't work for me. I want the other character (writer) to provide the cause, and be required to think about "damn, if I want my character to experience this, how do I, as a writer, compose my post and 'manipulate' the person at the other end of the keyboard, through my writing, in such a way to ensure she gets it?"

Now, I don't know if I even succeed in that myself, as I don't consider myself any great writer, or 'expert', but at least it's the mindset I come in with, in regards to my own characters, and stories I look to write.

Edit: And, I'm in total agreement with your last paragraph. It's an enjoyable thread, and each has their own preferences and opinions. Mine are simply stated from a singular point of view, in regards to what engages me/how I see it, and aren't intended to reflect judgement on differing opinions, and those who have preferences which vary from my own.
 
To add my various coinage....the hardest kink I have had trouble with is clothes. Especially latex, skirts, heels and stockings. I'm not much into feet, unless they are in heels, but something about a short skirt with stockings and heels, it just gets my mouth watering. While I have many successful rp's going with clothes, more due to me being a detailed writer, I haven't really hit my touch point yet. Corsets and all that are great, but having something a bit more modern would really be a sweet spot.

It's not a complaint to any of my partners, we have some great passion, I just haven't found anyone willing to do this in an appropriate setting. Though I have one rp that eventually could work its way there, but that's a ways away.
 
AndNich: I was more referring to Incest with an actual plot. I have more incest plots then Zsa Zsa Gabor has ex husbands. But what I'm dying for sometimes is a incest story that actually has a real story to it and doesn't sound like a shitty porno.

boyo: No one's willing to do a short skit and sexy clothing? Weird. I'd be down for that. But then I've always viewed clothing as a means of expressing things without words. As any filmmaker knows. A prim and proper woman doesn't need to be called prim and proper if she dresses like that. Same with sexy clothing and a sexy woman. Etc.
 
Well clothing has not been a problem. Getting the specific kind that really gets me going has been. I find clothing can be very expressive but not everyone pays the detail to it, some do and I have many period pieces where it's well done, but hard to bring latex mini dresses into the Victorian era.

lol...I never knew Zsa Zsa had that many exes
 
Clothing is one I've never heard of before and never even thought of in regards to this. Very interesting, boyo, especially when I actually think about it, it makes sense when you get into more specific costuming and fetish wear. Despite some of the things mentioned in this thread, there is a very big story draw for rping, so, more about "I want to be this" and "I want to do this" fantasies being fulfilled rather than, "I want to wear this while doing this".

Also, thank you for the clarification, g.Steve. It seems to be a consistent thing in this thread so far that it's not just the acts being portrayed that are uncommon, so much as it's about a depth and passion in the portrayal that we desire. And I can definitely empathize with that. Everybody has that thing they want to explore in a certain way, like darkangel with her blood, or Quix with his fully-fleshed out female characters, or g.Stevens with his incest. A lot of times when you tell someone what you want, what you're looking for is the other half of your story, like Quix and I were talking about in this and the other thread, the desire not to write it alone. But a lot of times the more vague you make it, hoping that the other will step up and fill in those blanks just right, they fall short time and time again, either with going in a direction that you, personally, are tired of hearing about, or not exploring it to the depth and investment that you want.

So, this really is a thread about mismatched ideas and passions, not so much that the kinks/acts are missing. And maybe that's really what "kink" is? Something that excites you, arouses you, tantalizes and entertains you. Of course you're not going to be apathetic about it.
 
I think of kinks as arousing, I like to craft a story, have some build up of passion - more so it doesn't all come off like a shitty porno (as g.stevens noted). Plus that way when you get to a sex scene it comes off as really steamy because you have all this arousal that is just itching to get out. Though I have done my fair share of shitty porno's as well, sometimes it hits the spot. I have learned that sometimes what I think of as a kink is not what my partner does. I have started to ask more about what they are looking for, if you can't communicate with your partner and share what it is you want, and describe it, then you are not going to get it. Or give them satisfaction by neglecting what they want to see.

Sorry if I have jumped the shark, my apologies to the fishies.
 
Clothing as a kink, I can see. I have partners who like to be visual. They enjoy it, even ask for it in fact, when I send pictures along with my replies. It’s what she’s wearing they want to see and/or have described to them. I do this for my partners. If I know they want it, they get it. I have one partner who likes for the girls to have shoes still on their feet while they’re engages in sexual activites. So that is a concept that I have catered to in that rp. At first, it was something that was mentioned specifically. I’ll admit I’ve fallen away from it as the rp has grown. Literally. A current partner likes to see and read about the characters clothing. Okay. I can do that. It’s not that they’re asking for tight leather skirts, fishnets, and 10 inch heels, but if they did, I would find the pictures of it. It’s the aspect of gaining a better visual that they like. So clothing, cars, homes, whatever my partners want to see, I gain for them. The rp with the shoes on the feet, he has mentioned a home with a gate. I have looked a large homes and front gates for a reply to him. Your kinks have to match up, at least to some degree I think, and you have to be willing to indulge your partners to a certain level. I’m not opposed to anything they want with clothes. So finding the pictures and including them isn’t an issue. Honestly, I’m searching right now for a kink I would just say no to, and at first I was having touble with it. If my partner wanted to see something along the lines of eating scat, I am sorry, but I don’t know for a fact that I could find pictures of that or even rp it. I say that, but even as I typed that, I think I could do it. My limits are becoming almost nonexistent, but boyo, I will say this. Period rps are not something I’m comfortable doing. I just don’t know enough about history to feel comfortable doing them. I would not be able to do them justice, and that is a tragedy.

Off topic question, and if you want me to delete it I can, but do you find that people label you because of the types of rps you do? The plots? One liners? Lit? Semi-lit? Advanced? Just curious, and do you think it hinders people from possible partners if they only find, or read, one type of rp that you do? I think that, much like kinks, these things can become issues that can reduce the number of partners we have to select from. There’s no shortage of partners here on BMR though. That’s one of the many things I like about this place. Diverstiy and an abundance of partners.
 
AndNich123 said:
Off topic question, and if you want me to delete it I can, but do you find that people label you because of the types of rps you do? The plots? One liners? Lit? Semi-lit? Advanced? Just curious, and do you think it hinders people from possible partners if they only find, or read, one type of rp that you do? I think that, much like kinks, these things can become issues that can reduce the number of partners we have to select from. There’s no shortage of partners here on BMR though. That’s one of the many things I like about this place. Diverstiy and an abundance of partners.
Click to expand...

Not at all and I think it definitely fits within the same theme of the thread topic, like with Quix bringing up ideas and contextual kinks that are hard to find partners for. The way we write and desire to write can make things difficult when searching for partners. I'm not sure if it's still going on but when I first joined, I remember a big prejudice against those who would write one-liners. Even those who considered it difficult to write 5 sentence paragraphs for a reply in an rp, would often reject or turn people down if they were not "literate", meaning, wrote their rps like a book. I don't know if that is necessarily a preference with individuals or if, the impressions I got at the time, was actually a sort of community-bias. Like, being told that longer, more detailed posts were something to aspire to, thus, it was seen as shameful if you yourself didn't measure up or desire to write with the people who write like that.

I haven't noticed it in recent years but mostly because my own desires as far as post length has changed, but I get the feeling that there is less of a stigma on one-liner rps. It's just a different type of rping and I feel like it is easier now to find people who write to your tastes than it was before.

As far as labeling goes, I'm not sure. I will admit that I search people's posts looking for how they write. I used to ask for writing samples but 1. I feel like that is really condescending, just right off the bat but also 2. people tend to lie, or they, paradoxically, don't put forth a good effort in it. Here I am asking for them to sell themselves and they give me something that they admit "isn't their best work" or it's something they're not interested in doing anymore or what have you. So, I secretly look at posts, to get a feel for their voice. Post length is a load of crap when it comes to determining quality, because you can have a post several pages long and it says nothing, it's boring, or it lacks coherence, then what was the point of all those words. So, mostly I look and see if what I read, even in an rp I'm not a part of, if it is interesting/fun/entertaining to read.

I do then label someone depending upon what I find there and their ability to articulate Ooc and it often does have to do with "literacy". If you cannot articulate your character's actions and thoughts in a clear way, or in an entertaining way, then I, personally, label it a lacking skill issue. However, there's tons of things to take into account with it, so, the label itself is not a stamp that condemns them for all of eternity, in my mind. Sometimes the posts I find in their history are old, and people's desires and abilities change over time. So, generally, even if the writing is sloppy or loose, if the characters and dialogue catch my eye, I'll give them a chance anyway. I remember several rps in my writing career where I was drunk and writing just to write, just to express, just to curb boredom. You go back and read those posts, not my best, it's not even good. I'd hate to be judged by that and a lot of times, I'll feel a certain way about a partner or a story and put in the extra effort, whereas others, I'll sort of bounce on the balls of my feet waiting for something interesting to happen. It's based on an individual basis and I try to awaken that passion in people with my stories, so, often, even if I'm only slightly impressed by someone, I don't reject them outright; we'll try a play and see if we can get the spark going.

I don't know about other people's impressions in regards to "writing style" and labeling people either because of that or the types of kinks/stories they choose to do. But I'd be very interested in hearing other people's take on it, whether they feel judged, or it puts a crimp in their ability to find partners or whether they also unintentionally judge others based on these perceptions and preferences.
 
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