Everything I gave is wasted,
I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of
Me
End of Me - Apocalyptica
Vega is having Mental Break downs.
:/
The Vega in general is working week to week back to back at roughly the same schedule. Which means for most of the past 3 weeks she has only had one day off.
Recent developments in her former relationship only further drove the stress needle down. All it needed was a little nudge, just one little snap.
I got it at work today. It took me good twenty to thirty minutes, and the manager felt bad so she sent me home.
Which was okay cause they were running out of things for me to do.
...
I am okay a few hours, then I crash all over again. I can't seem to pull myself of my mental grave. Especially because my inner demon sinks in and reminds me of things I don't want to remember. Especially when I'm upset because wen I get upset little things make me lash out. And most people don't fucking get that about me. I get that from my mother.
Even then I only want to talk to certain people. Because I know there are some people who
listen without judging me when I'm upset. And I talk some crazy shit :/ It means much more than I really say to have actually one person just sit there and let me vent. Because otherwise I turn to something far more destructive mentally until I break completely. I've only done that once - and that was when I had been dating San. When that happen it takes...I dunno. Months? Years even? To get full circle again.
I need to do something.
I hate feeling like I'm breaking at the hinges.