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O Fortuna...

His use of emoticons set off my "bullshit" meter.

I wish I had met this fucker so I could have told you he was a jackass from the start.
 
Hahvy, this guy has been pulling this from day one. Only, he hasn't come out and said, "The sex was good, now I got nothin'" when he should've. Fuckin' dickweed.

Tako, he was obviously an asshole. He put everything before you. Everything. This shouldn't be a loss for you; give him the finger and move on.

Harri'll make it better, somehow. I'll band together with Hahvy and we'll create a plan!
 
I thought you were gonna marry me Harriet ;-;

To add to my more fucked up week.

So my Transgender Ex called me up. Apparently...He decided to remain a She. She is now Pregnant. And is getting Married.

._.

I either make all the men go Gay or all the women go straight. Pah :<
 
Yes she was. She was going to be a Male but changed her mind over the past year apparently <.<; She was taking Hormones when I dated him. <<;
 
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-2xe2Jnzg[/video]
Broken Pieces - Apocalyptica

Too late, this is not the answer.
I need to pack it in.
I can't pull your heart together,
With just my voice alone.

A thousand shards of glass,
I came to meet you and,
And you cut the piece out of me.

And as you ripped it all apart
That's when I turned to watch you.
And as the light in you went dark
I saw you turn to shadow

If you would salvage some part of you
That once knew love
But I'm losing this
And I'm losing you

Oh, I've gotta turn and run
From faces that you've never seen
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all that you've broken
I hold these pieces of me

It's too late now
To stop the process
This was your choice
You let it in
This double life you lead
Is eating you up from within
A thousand shards of glass
You pushed beneath my skin
Left me lying there to bleed

And as you showed me your scars I only held you closer
But as the light in you went dark
I saw you turn over
I wanted always to be there for you and close to you
But I'm losing this
And I'm losing you

Oh, I've gotta turn and run
From faces that you've never seen
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all that you've broken
I hold these pieces of me

The broken pieces
I hold these pieces of me
The broken pieces
I hold these pieces

Maybe without me you'll return
to all the beauty I once knew
But if I stay I know
We will both be drowned by your holding onto me

Oh, I've gotta turn and run
From faces that you've never seen
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all that you've broken
I hold these pieces of me

The broken pieces
I hold these pieces of me
The broken pieces
I hold these pieces of me​

I feel bipolar. One minute I cheer up.

The next I start crying all over again.
 
*hugs* Let me know what your schedule is...I'll see you asap *hugs*
 
Ok.... I didn't read everyone else's comments, so bear with me. I did read that last convo you had with your now EX bf.

Honestly, you are better off without him. He's been more than horrendous in his communication with you and then to pull this after saying the things he has to you (and recently) makes me want to castrate him for his complete and utter disregard for your feelings. He set your hopes up, he claimed he'd 'change' (yeah right)... so many things and then this. My only wish is that you had broken things off with him before he pulled this. I know I don't know him and can only go based on a one-sided view. But, shit. This is ridiculous. He is ridiculous. I don't like that he's treating you so flippantly. Yes, flippantly. That's exactly what he did and it makes my blood freakin' boil. And I don't begrudge him his feelings. He has a right to them. It's how he played things out that pisses me off to no end. How he left you in lurches knowing full well how you felt (and obviously not caring), told you he was excited to see you. ARGH! I want to scream at him and I don't even know him.

Ok...... there. Out of my system. Main thing, sweetie. Forget him. He is so not worthy of you. So not! You deserve better. You are worth more. Just remember that.
 
Everything I gave is wasted,
I'm the one who suffocated
This love, this love is gonna be the end of
Me
End of Me - Apocalyptica​

Vega is having Mental Break downs.

:/

The Vega in general is working week to week back to back at roughly the same schedule. Which means for most of the past 3 weeks she has only had one day off.

Recent developments in her former relationship only further drove the stress needle down. All it needed was a little nudge, just one little snap.

I got it at work today. It took me good twenty to thirty minutes, and the manager felt bad so she sent me home.

Which was okay cause they were running out of things for me to do.

...

I am okay a few hours, then I crash all over again. I can't seem to pull myself of my mental grave. Especially because my inner demon sinks in and reminds me of things I don't want to remember. Especially when I'm upset because wen I get upset little things make me lash out. And most people don't fucking get that about me. I get that from my mother.

Even then I only want to talk to certain people. Because I know there are some people who listen without judging me when I'm upset. And I talk some crazy shit :/ It means much more than I really say to have actually one person just sit there and let me vent. Because otherwise I turn to something far more destructive mentally until I break completely. I've only done that once - and that was when I had been dating San. When that happen it takes...I dunno. Months? Years even? To get full circle again.

I need to do something.

I hate feeling like I'm breaking at the hinges.
 
So I've been talking to my best local gay friend. He and I have pretty much the same interests and he's very sweet and very supportive of me as a person. >>

After mulling this over since... I think they day we went to Sweet Tomatoes (which is a soup and salad bar restaurant around here. OMNOMNOMNOM) which is when I got back from Atlanta.

Foxie (aka my buddy. NOT BRITISHFOX SHU D:<) went from a size...51 last year? To...36. O-o He runs 3 miles every day.

While I don't need to go OVERBOARD as he did (In a way this was his stress relief from OMGDRAMA) I do need some ...help <.< Mostly in motivation and self-esteem department and Foxie is good about that....err...sort of. I used to walk a lot when I was in Cary. There was more than one instance I had to walk home from work ._.; which at the time was...3-4 miles one way. Not fun. But I know I can do it.

Mind you I've lost a lot of weight. >> Like around 40-50 lbs .__.; In almost a year. Which is good. But there is still a long way to go before I feel really comfortable in my own skin.

I think that's part of my problem.

But anyway. He's agreed to start being my walking partner (We'll start out walking mainly be cause he's 6'5" and I have to jog to keep up with him.) two times a week (or so) soooo we'll see how this goes :3


OMGEPICEDIT

Sooo I got hired to do Web design for an online art group. >.>

Where should I do well enough I get paid for. And considering this my back up career of choice <333

My main one being a therapist <.<; but that requires schooling...where as...web things I can reteach myself xD I have means.

Time to crack out my old HTML/XML/CSS notes.

WOOSH.
 
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