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The cumming of the Apocalypse

My_Apocalypse_Pony

My_Apocalypse_Pony

Supernova
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Location
Under your bed aka Tennessee
There you go Aku my love i named it the way you wanted, happy? ^^

~-~

I so often forget that the people I talk to online are actual people; living, breathing, people. And the hearts I play with are real, and they do break. I get so caught up in the seduction and the thrill of every thing I forget about the human sitting on the other side of the conversation. I have never thought that I could be the kinda girl, to just play with hearts and throw them out like last weeks gossip. I have slowly come to realize, that is what i am doing. I will not try and make excuses, I simply apologies. I do not, by any means, try to do this, but by the time I realize what is happening the damage is already done.
 
Dear Depression,
I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You are the scum between my toes.
Love, Pony.

Seriously though, you need to stop sneaking up on me when i am having a good day. Stop putting those bad thoughts in my head. "You are not worthy of anyone's love," "just end it now," "things would be so much better if you weren't here," "you are an ugly person, both in and out." STOP, just stop it, I will not kill my self, I will find love, and I am a beautiful person. I look in the mirror and see ugliness because of you, from now on, when i hear you sneaking up on me, I will force myself to smile and look in the mirror and tell myself i am beautiful. I hope eventually i will feel all the Love and worthiness i deserve but for now i will fight you one day at a time. That's right depression, i am declaring war on you, and i will win.

Your arch nemesis, Pony.
 
Just when i think i am over him, he hurts me some more. I found out earlier today that my ex is now going out with the girl he cheated on me with. WE had been going out for about 9-10 months when he went to Seattle to visit some friends, about three days into his trip, while he was staying with this girl, he stopped answering my calls and texts. We got into a big fight after his phone was off all night, and he broke up with me. Two days later i asked him if he had slept with her and he said "not that it matters but yes." At first he said he had slept with her once after he had broken up with me, then the truth slowly started coming to light, such as, that he had slept with her then night his phone was off, and then night he broke up with me.

I was so in love with the boy, that i was ready to move to Massachusetts and leave everything i loved and knew to be with him. Before i found out what they had done, and after he left me, I talked to the girl and she kept reassuring me that ever thing was going to be okay "i have been through this a ton of times" she told me. later...she fucking did this to me. I know i should just get over it, but i still love him so much, although i also hope they both rot in hell. They deserve each other.
 
*Snuggles*
Don’t hope that they rot in hell love, pray that she chokes.
Normal response when chocking is to gag and actually bite down. If she bites down and removes a certain appendage which remains lodged in place then she will die, and he will be left bleeding out and embarrassed as he has to call 911 in the hopes that they can reattach his member which will never properly work again.
 
Feeling lost, unsure, and unwanted....
1109004.jpg

(put the wrong Pic..)
 
And yet... you look oddly content in that shot lol
*loves on* Don't feel that way. I know it's hard, and we've all had our times of self pity and feeling used and unwanted, but there is someone for everyone you just need to stumble across them someday. It's hard, and it sucks ass, but no one said love was easy. You just gotta keep hope, which can be the hardest thing to do sometimes.
 
Typically if I had that expression, I usually have some blood spatter on my face as well. MURDER IS FUN, KIDS!
 
Karma, what the hell did i do? I haven't done anything to any one, and yet you keep fucking with me. I really hope you have something good planned for me. Too much heart break, loss, and loneliness in the last year and a half. Every one around me seems to be rising above, but i am sinking..
 
Well, if you feel like you are sinking, I will make a boat out of Maxi Pads to keep you afloat for a little bit. Then you can build something bigger and better and less absorbent.​
 
Karma always comes back to bite people on the ass...

...sadly, it works like a boomerang, and doesn't hit the intended target half the time. >.>

Don't know how much sense that made to you.

Anyway, the best thing you can do is just relax the best you can right now. Try to take a step out of your horizons and look at everything you can do. Bad will always happen, sadly. Just laugh at it. And try not to look to the future too much.
 
--+Hahvoc Requiem+-- said:
Well, if you feel like you are sinking, I will make a boat out of Maxi Pads to keep you afloat for a little bit. Then you can build something bigger and better and less absorbent.​
Click to expand...
Yes, absorbency is not a favored trait among shipbuilding materials.

Pony, my love, you are stronger than you know, and able to find what you want, just... not always where you expect. It's difficult, it is for everyone. But I have faith that you can do it.
 
Pony, just remember you have a lot of friends, whether you know it or not. We are with you, no matter what.
 
Don't get me wrong, i am super happy i got a lot of shifts, but did they all have to be on the same weekend? I couldn't do anything new years eve because i was working that night and the next morning. I worked a double New Years day, and today, and i still have one more shift in the morning. I don't mind working but i a so tired and by entire body hurts. so now i am going to go take a bath and try to relax.
 
I dream. I dream, of white picket fences and children running and laughing. I dream, of a husband who loves me and cares for me as if i where the only woman in the world. I dream, of love and happiness to share with the ones around me. But these dreams can not be reached if i continue down the path i am on.

I am a slut. I am, a girl who thinks of herself as an object, so others do the same. I am, a person who constantly betrays her own morals. I am, not the person i wanted to be, I do things i don't think i should to make others happy. I am, controlled by my lust, pride, and self hate. I am, ashamed of the person i have become.

I will change. I will, stop molding myself to be who you want. I will, love myself and not worry what others think. I will, be the best me i can be. I will, hold myself to higher standards and l will not let fear hold me back. I will, let go of the past because i can not change it. I will, embrace my flaws for they make me who i am. I will, use the self control i know i have and stop letting my emotions get the best of me. I will, grow up, because i am not a child any more and i have responsibilities to myself and my family.

My New years resolution? Change.
 
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